Good morning. Can you hear me all? Yes? Good. Well it seems like the heat that was predicted has broken and we have a number of things converging today. It's Father's Day which I congratulate all of you fathers and also all the mothers and then all the children. We're all included. Today also at 8 30 p.m. we mark the solstice which I believe is the longest day of the year. And so that's a what can I say,

[01:15]

an astrogeological celebration, moment of celebration. And also we're in the we're in the midst of what has become Pride Month, Gay Pride Month. And so it's being celebrated. Gay Pride is being celebrated at in different places at different on different weekends but all month basically. So I wanted to congratulate everyone who identifies with and who celebrates Gay Pride. A couple of years ago there was a move to inaugurate in the bluegrass music community bluegrass pride. And they've actually had a winning float in the San Francisco Gay Pride

[02:29]

parade with people with banjos and mandolins and fiddles and guitars playing as the parade went along. I think there's no parade this year but bluegrass pride. I mean that's that's not something that was so that was imaginable 20-30 years ago. But I really love it and I support it. So perhaps it's a time to celebrate. We're also celebrating the end of our practice period which was a great accomplishment in the midst of the pandemic. And I'm going to talk a little more about that and about the challenges in the bulk of my talk. But I thought if we're celebrating we should sing a song. So I'm going to invite you to sing a song with me. People in the Zendo can do

[03:40]

it and people out there in radio land can do it. Let's see. So you're all familiar with this song I believe. It's This Little Light of Mine and it reminds me very much of Case 86 in the Blue Cliff record. Yunmin's Bright Light which Yunmin says everyone has their own light and if you want to see it you can't. The darkness is dark dark. What is your light? And I also think of the last words of the poet and writer Goethe which were reported to be more light. More light. So

[04:52]

you can sing this you can sing this with me. This is an anthem of the civil rights movement. This little light of mine. I'm gonna let it shine. This little light of mine. I'm gonna let it shine. This little light of mine. I'm gonna let it shine. Let it shine. Let it shine. Let it shine.

[05:58]

everywhere I go I'm gonna let it shine everywhere I go I'm gonna let it shine Everywhere I go, I'm gonna let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine. All around the Zendo, I'm gonna let it shine, all around the Zendo, I'm gonna let it shine, all around the Zendo, I'm gonna let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine. Even out on Zoom, I'm gonna let it shine, even out on Zoom, I'm gonna let it shine,

[07:03]

even out on Zoom, I'm gonna let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine. This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine, this little light of mine, well I'm gonna let it shine, this little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine. When I'm in the dark, I'm gonna let it shine, when I'm in the dark, I'm gonna let it shine, when I'm in the dark, I'm gonna let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine. one more time

[08:32]

I Feel good to sing The other people in the center wanted to say I was doing docus on This morning, but I Was so glad to hear people chanting me to hear the chanting sound so good So One more announcement, I'm sorry my voice is worse This afternoon To close our session and to close our practice period

[09:40]

We're going to have shows on which is an opportunity to have a Public Dharma dialogue And I will be here to receive your questions and respond as best I can Sometimes shows on like shuso ceremony is Has been considered to be like Dharma combat It's not combat Or that's not how we're doing it It's actually to bring forth the Dharma together So I encourage you to Frame a question for yourself. You can do it now or you can actually wait and

[10:42]

see what really arises on the moment and I will see what waits what what arises for me I have no rehearsed answers So what I would encourage you to do though because there are quite a few of us is Really cut to the chase ask a question and Try to eliminate The Prefatory or Contextual remarks that lead up to it, but just get to your question and That will really encourage everybody If you don't have a question That's fine. If you don't have a question just Stand up and bow

[11:44]

And Mary Beth will give you the instructions at the time for how we're going to proceed then we're going to begin with the people in the Zendo and then move to the people on soon and Then we'll have a very brief closing Ceremony So I just wanted to let you know about that So it won't come as a surprise to you Or if you don't know what shows on is if you haven't done it, it's really wonderful it's just Where we stand? open to each other and Can bring forth the Dharma together to the best of our understanding? So This session For I hope it's been wonderful for you all for most of you

[12:51]

There have been a Lot of there's a lot of detail and questions and mistakes and Trying to figure out What should happen behind the scenes to make this go or appear to go smoothly Which maybe it has maybe it hasn't I don't know And I will confess that Last night abscesses trying to think about the things that had to happen today. I Felt somewhat overwhelmed And I Had to find To renew my practice in that in that light And I was thinking about this

[13:53]

Chapter talk by Suzuki Roshi in not always so Which is entitled just enough problems So He gives this on the last day of sashimi It says we've already come this far and we can't give up The only way is to stay here I Feel I have a very good crop You may not feel that you are Right yet But even though you are still ripening if you stay in our storehouse You will be good apples So I have nothing to worry about and I don't think you have any reason to worry about your practice either

[14:59]

Because Goes on to say some of you may start a decision because you had many problems and that may be true for Some of you some of us You thought that if you sat here I'm editing you thought if you sat here for three days your problems would be solved But whatever problems you have They can be solved anyway That's a really complicated sentence You may thought you you did if you sat here for three days Your problems will be solved. But whatever problems you have they can be solved. Anyway, it's not so I say It's not contingent on sitting here for three days and Buddha will not give you any more problems than you can solve

[16:04]

Or more than you need So, that's what that's what the Buddha was saying to me Last night, although it was actually really hard to accept that You know, I don't want this is one too many, you know I Whatever the problems are they are just enough If these are not enough problems Buddha is ready to give you more That reminds me we talked about this At one point Sojin when he was having a hard time and thought that Can't that that Suzuki Roshi didn't have faith in his practice He went to him and asked him should I continue this practice and

[17:09]

Suzuki Roshi said oh, isn't this practice hard enough for you? So In that case, maybe Suzuki Roshi was ready to give him more problems Certainly Sojin Roshi gave me more problems And he left me this big problem of Learning how to be the abbot at Berkeley Zen Center. That's enough So if these are not enough problems Buddha is ready to give you more just so you can appreciate your problems If you have nothing to cope with Your life feels empty So we have to have something

[18:14]

Our problems are what we work with our problems is how we develop our lives Our problems is how we develop our practice Our problems is actually they are how we find our freedom believe it or not If you have nothing to cope with your life feels empty, so I think you should trust Buddha a Life without problems is like sitting near this zendo for seven days without doing anything We're doing something as we sit in session We are engaging with ourselves We're engaging with all the things around us We're engaging with the schedule We're engaging with how on earth to have a hybrid program

[19:17]

All the things that For many of us worked so smoothly For so many years that we had we had all the schedules worked out we had all the positions worked out and And then all we had to deal with were the weird people who were doing them And ourselves We had to deal with ourselves fundamentally uh-huh But now we're actually having to think about Each Ceremony each sequence of events and how we're going to do them and how we're going to engage and mesh with the people who are on zoom And the people who are here in the zendo. So this is our first taste of this in the

[20:21]

course of the pandemic We have done everything on zoom and now we're Experimenting with this Interpenetration of zoom and face-to-face and we find we have no matter how Closely we try to plan and look at What we've set out to do there are Unexpected Complications and unintended Mistakes But Suzuki Roshi says no problem will appear that you did not originally have

[21:22]

But because you overlook it you do not expect it So it is better to see your problems as soon as possible So last night My problem was not the complexity of the schedule or the planning. My problem was myself My problem was How My resistance my problem was saying can it isn't this enough already? But This is the The position that I took on You Tried to find the passage where Suzuki Roshi speaks directly to this You Sorry

[22:39]

Yes, here's the areas he says Before you accept the problems you have in your position You cannot accept yourself as you are You cannot sit in a true way in other words whatever position we take Has somebody who signed up for session as somebody who's a dough on Somebody's a session director as somebody who is an avid irrespective all of these pieces Are part of the whole They're interlocking gears that have to Roll together in order to make this go And My effort your effort Are necessary

[23:48]

My one's effort in the position is necessary to make the whole go W-h-o-l-e and also to accept oneself To accept oneself as one is And to recognize that everyone is making this effort And it's complicated And it's wonderful Because we are making this ourselves It's like not some job that we went to It's not something that is assigned to us If we didn't have some deep faith in this process There would be absolutely no reason to be doing this ridiculous thing that we're doing So we do this in the

[24:57]

Process of accepting ourselves as we are If you can't do that you cannot sit in a true way says When you steady your mind Trust Buddha and just sit There is no problem. No confusion anymore When you are patient enough and Wait until the problem makes some sense to you You can appreciate your being here and your position Whatever it may be. That is how you practice us So last night, you know, I allowed myself to have my uh What can I say well my reaction to say it simply and I said, okay I'm having this reaction. I'm just going to Let this play out and

[26:03]

Come back and look at the whole thing In an hour And when I did I was able to think clearly without The clouded emotions of reaction and that is It's a way of trusting my practice And I've also been feeling such gratitude For having this practice to trust and rely on You

[27:09]

Suzuki Roshi says even if you feel you have too many problems When you trust Buddha you sit with your problems At the same time you should be ready to refuse a problem If it is too much Buddha may say, oh if you don't if you really don't need it, I Will accept it at any time give it back to me. I Love that's fine You know the problem felt the problems I was having last evening were it felt like was more than I could accept and so I basically it's like I Could say, okay, could you hold this one? for a little while until I have the capacity to take it up again and He said sure sure not no problem I'm not so sure about

[28:49]

Something in this At One point in this lecture he says This is a mysterious thing These problems that we have Mystery of life We have just enough problems not too many and not too few so there is no need to ask for anyone's help I Don't completely agree with that Ultimately The problem that you think you have has to be resolved within oneself But there is no shame or Prescription Against asking for help

[29:58]

Asking for help from Buddha Asking for help from our friends our teachers our family members We can ask for help at the same time remember they cannot solve the problem I Think that's what he's getting at here, but I'm I'm not sure The problem has the problems that we think we have have to be resolved within ourselves But I don't think there's anything mistaken or Anything wrong about asking for help It may be as simple as saying, how do you see this? or How do you see how I am

[31:02]

How I'm acting or reacting at this moment and really listening Because I Am not Exactly Some unitary thing that exists within this bag of skin. I Am also Those I love Those I know my teachers and all beings and They have a say in what I may choose to do or how how I might feel in any given moment Towards the end of this lecture

[32:08]

Suzuki Roshi says he talks about teachers here He says you're receiving just what you need So the only way is to trust Buddha to trust your being here that is what we call sin You may think that all the Zen masters are very tough But they are not They look tough when you need them to be tough, but actually they are not so tough They're just tough enough for you, that's all Actually, you don't need your master or your teacher if you know how to practice as it But I would say

[33:17]

That's one side Our teacher Sojin was always talking about their being never looking at just one side But recognizing that two sides are operating at any moment So one side is that You support yourself entirely The other side is that we need each other This is what I was speaking of yesterday when speaking about Sangha Without Sangha There would be no Arising Buddhas Buddhas do not arise Spontaneously They arise in the context of Sangha

[34:22]

So even if though we don't understand How we need each other we do we need each other to complete ourselves We need each other to see that we have just enough problems So I think that's what I'm going to stop this morning and leave time for your questions and Remind you again, please Prepare but not too much for the Shosan But do present a question for Shosan meanwhile, you can present a question now Related to what I've just been talking about So if you are online you can raise your digital hand to ask a question or put something in the chat box and

[35:24]

I suppose in the Zendo you can raise your real hand and Hosan will call on you I've got one right here a live one here in the Zendo Joe How does this talk relate to our problem of taking on too much Sometimes we say yes too much That's your problem You know, that's Somebody asked me that yesterday as well in in Tokusan And this is why the Buddha invented a monastic system You know because that system is It has boundaries and All you really need to do is follow the schedule We have a really difficult practice because we're here in the world where

[36:31]

There are many poles there's poles of our family as opposed of our work as opposed of our our responsibilities in various places and There is no great answer That I have to that You should do what your capacity allows and that's one of the things I think in the process of investigation is to to come to an understanding of what your capacity is and say Yes, this is it for now And with practice if your capacity expands great And with age your capacity will contract Certain capacities will contract And you need to know be really honest with yourself and with others about what they are That's the best I can do

[37:35]

You Other Sorrento's, do you want to unmute yourself and ask your question, please? Yes. Good morning Was on you mentioned our problems are how we find our freedom Which I loved and I wonder Sometimes my problems resolve quickly and sometimes I look back and realize I've been working on the same problem for 40 years so What is the relationship? Or words of encouragement for problems that stick around a whole long time That's great that gives you a Focal point for your life and your development What I've always felt and I came to this Before I took up Zen and then it was affirmed by

[39:00]

Some things I've learned here what I always felt was that my problems or internal contradictions, whatever We're constantly resolving To a higher level. It's like they were spiraling fortunately spiraling upward But they always remained and What I expect is that they that those problems always well this is this is part of one's life's work and You know, I think about this section one of Suzuki Roshi's books In Brown During session or one of our teachers said Brown who was a disciple of Suzuki Roshi's Was Complaining about a problem that he had and Suzuki Roshi said

[40:04]

The problem that you have And then he paused and it thought will go away with practice But what Suzuki Roshi said was will always be your problem So we we are who we are and with certain karmic formations and This is who and this is what we are working with So just enough problems I'm sorry Thank you My question is right now. I'm living in a house without adequate ventilation and sitting with perfume and I have headache and nausea and my question is What can we do? What do I do? Could you hear the question

[41:10]

Out there, yes, not well, he would say he's sitting in a house with inadequate ventilation and There's someone in the house with perfume, etc. What can I do obviously you should talk to the person in your house Or, you know, you can you can ask me to but If that's the situation, please Address it politely and directly because it's very likely that The person is not aware of that most of our world is not aware of the impact of Scents, you know, if we if we watch television we see where the scents are being sold to us Every day, you know pretty high pressure. So you just say politely

[42:14]

What you experience and how it affects you? and the challenge for all of us when I mean that kind of response that you're having is a kind of It's Neuro or psychochemical response and so that causes anxiety in us too, right? so just if you can see that anxiety and set it aside and just Tell someone very Pretty kindly. This is what the effect is. That's that's what you can do Instead of you know We do have a rule about Scents we we ask people on the property not to wear scents But sometimes People are not aware of it. We haven't been on the property really for a year and a half

[43:15]

So we have to renew that and I will support you in that Seems like there's not a lot of place to go That's my reaction Well, that's the feeling right the feeling of being trapped right so that's where you have to create a sense of spaciousness for yourself And realize you're not if you're you're not necessarily trapped you're but you are having a response or reaction of a psycho physical reaction, you know Which is understandable So we can help each other Jen would you like to unmute yourself and ask your question? Well, I guess the Issue I'm struggling with and I'm sure so many other

[44:16]

People who said I've been doing this longer than me. I struggle with it because so many people are You know, their lives are deadly. I mean, I know there are number of doctors out there. I was on you are involved in so many issues You know and Burma and around the world and you feel this urgency it's not your suffering it's the suffering of others that and I That so I guess my my problem isn't my problem, I mean, I'm okay I could cope with it I mean, I might my work is is right now is dealing with a lot of tenants who can't afford to rent and are on the verge of eviction and as I said, and I'm like, you know, like Taking it. I'm right now. We're all and my team is working seven days a week and I'm sitting and my problem is I don't I Feel like I shouldn't be sitting, you know, and I know so many other people

[45:20]

struggle with that so what if the problem isn't it isn't I mean, I I do feel anxiety and stress because of What's happening to others but I can that's not my in a sense. That's not my problem. I mean, that's not the problem I tried to cope with as I said, it's like I don't how do I sit when it's not my problem. I know it's The other people Can that um Could you hear that Um, but what's not his problem? I didn't catch that part What's not his problem is? The suffer he's concerned about the suffering that he experiences in his world Which is not immediately what he personally may be suffering And yet he feels it really intensely And Sorry, was that just to clarify? How do I sit not like how do it's sort of like how do I how does

[46:27]

How do you all how do you because? I'm sure you can be doing a whole lot of good right now for the last three days sitting with With well while you sit with us and you know, thank you for sitting with us But like how do you do that when you know that there's all this other need and I sit just to sit I sit because I have come to believe that The sitting increases my capacity to be open And I really I trust that And I sit with the bodhisattva vow and We are so struck by the urgency And it is really urgent of The sufferings in our world

[47:28]

But this is three days or it's one hour a day and if that settles if that helps to settle a Practitioner then the practitioner is much more able to give In those other 23 hours of the day I have really I have faith in that and Also, I have faith in them from for myself You Know part of the job that I feel a responsibility I feel is to share the practice in a way that it becomes available to to other people and you know, I don't want to I Hesitate to say this, but I talked with I I Talked with a Jayan who's who's on who's online here today in India and

[48:33]

people there are facing the pandemic and lots of difficulties and Amazingly our practice our BCC practice is reaching there. This is something that that I I don't think any of us ever imagined or thought of so if it's creating a capacity and a resilience in people That's great if it's doing that directly terrific if it's doing it indirectly that's also What we can offer but we have to settle ourselves In order to do it. Otherwise, we're going to be caught in urgency and anxiety You Dan Jackson, please unmute yourself and ask your question I was on

[49:35]

When you said that Buddhas don't arise Spontaneously that brought up for me a question that I'm not meaning to pose it as a historical puzzler But more about the the interplay between individual effort And Sangha, so my question would be who was Buddhist Sangha before he became enlightened Well, that's interesting question He had a variety of Sanghas and he had good friends and But you know, he's the also a kind of Exemplary figure When he began after his enlightenment the first thing he did was he went he went out and found his old friends and taught them the Dharma and They became the Sangha

[50:39]

But his Sangha in a certain sense If you look through the Early Buddhist texts his Sangha were all the Buddhas who came Buddhas and Bodhisattvas that came before him and They were encouraging him And He tried different spiritual paths and finally had to be a pioneer and find something for himself We all have to be a pioneer ultimately But we are fortunate in that we have a Sangha of mutual support So, you know everything is not strictly logical But That's pretty much the way I think about it that his Sangha were

[51:41]

The Buddhas and Bodhisattvas of the past we're always hanging around Helping him Thank you I Have something came up which raised something that's hard for me, which is that You said when you have difficulty with someone to speak to them both politely and directly and I'm conscious that My efforts to be polite often lead to meet me to be less direct and to Interfere in a weird way about just being direct. I get I

[52:44]

Put a lot of context like you said about the question and show stuff. So Any help with that Whatever we say to somebody It's an experiment in relationship It's doesn't and like us in experiment it has no guaranteed outcome And like an experiment, you know the more you do it Verify it the more you see. Oh this approach generally works So I'm talking about polite That's not what I'm talking about I'm talking about respectful

[53:47]

Polite as respectful as Having one's own autonomy and expect and respecting another person's autonomy and Whatever form that expression needs to take to take It's fine, and it's always an experiment. It may work and it may not But if we don't try You know, if you know, we don't try we're going to blame others and beat up ourselves Thank you very much, thank you, maybe this time for one more if there is Alex would you like to unmute yourself and ask your question? Thank you, I noticed you say very carefully the problems we think we have and

[54:50]

In sociology, there's a famous theorem that says that the things that we Perceive as real are are real in their consequences Good I like that. Yeah, so when you say the problems we think we have And I think we don't have those problems no, it's hang on I just got to repeat that what he said was That we perceive as real are real in their consequences That's really good. Okay, so go on from there, right? So when you say the problems we think we have do we not in fact have those problems And if not, then what are the problems we think we have She says the problems we think we have do we not actually have those problems or I'm sorry the second part But if and if we don't what are they? If we don't what are they?

[55:52]

This is called karma That when you act on your thoughts Words or actions And you put that out in the world then it has consequences so if we think we have a problem and We act on that problem Then we have a problem Then we've made a problem we've taken a problem out of the realm of Presumption a thought A an insubstantial idea and we projected it onto the world and therefore We have made it into something that affects people You know, I mean really the

[56:57]

The essential Buddhist message is don't do that But we can't help it Though we're constantly watching We should be watching according to the the tools of practice That we that we learn Observing our minds observing our thoughts and Doing the best we can to maintain composure and respect and not to project our Our perceived problems on others, it's really really hard I hear you saying then that when we are considering a response we should be

[58:01]

Particularly careful About acting on the basis of what we believe is a problem That's correct uh-huh, and this is where we This is I think also where we it's good to collect information widely from others You know even in in some of the conflict Reduction work that I've done You do what's called conflict mapping so you may see what's something that you see as a you know as this this Cause is causing this effect But when you conflict map and you bring other people into that process you begin to see While there's multiple Factors here that we need to look at and The original your original notion of what the problem is might actually really shift

[59:08]

And you and so therefore your approach to resolution may shift Thank you well, I think we will end there and We will continue remember at this day is not over and I look forward to To us all bringing forth the Dharma at Shosan, so thank you

[59:37]

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