First, I want to remember that tomorrow at 5.30, which is a strange time for us, because most people think of 5.40, I'm going to have shosan ceremony, or shosan, I don't like to call it ceremony, shosan, question and response, which we always do during practice period and at the end of seven days of shins. So everyone is invited. It will be 5.30, but some people will come at 5.40. I wanted to just say a word about my raksu. Because people come and they say, how come you're wearing that, a purple raksu?

[01:05]

I think that it's a burgundy. And this was given to me by Hui Tzu. So I wear it to honor him. but I don't wear it very often. And the green raksha that I sometimes wear was given to me by Minamizawa Roshi, the Kanyin of Ehechi, when I visited him in 1993. And then I have a blue, not blue, but dark purple, blue-purple raksha, which was given to me by him at another time. And after I've been spending many years editing the Sōtōshū constitution with a number of Japanese priests, and it's been taking a long, long time.

[02:11]

And I realized doing that, you know, it explains the meaning of colored rock suits and colored robes and so forth. And so, purple and burgundy and all that, those are rankings, priest rankings in the Soto Zen hierarchy, but we don't pay any attention to that. It's just kind of a nice, you know, I just wear what's given to me, but I don't think about that because it doesn't really apply to us. So, if you were curious, that's the reason. I want to begin by reading a short piece by Sokeyan Sasaki.

[03:20]

Sokeyan Sasaki was one of the early priests, a Rinzai priest in America. I don't know, 40s or 50s, came from America, 50s maybe. 40s, I don't know, but he was the priest at the First Zen Institute in New York, and he is one of the most eloquent Of course, this is his speaking, not his writing, but he's one of the most eloquent expositors of Zen that I know of. And I think most people don't know who he is, really, or was, actually. He died some time ago. As a matter of fact, he married Ruth Fuller Sasaki, if you know who she is.

[04:22]

And so the Sangha, after a long period of time, has published a couple of books of his teachings. And this one called Zen Pivots. And I thought, well, that's an interesting name. But as a matter of fact, I think it's a really good name, because it's, what is it that Zen Pivots on? What is the foundation? So this is a short piece on faith. I'll comment on it as I go along. He says, for each student of Buddhism, there is always some gate through which to enter its main avenue.

[05:32]

You know, there are the 12 schools of Buddhism, and each one is a gate. In true Buddhism, however, there is no gate, upon open to the public, with ushers standing on both sides, smiling and beckoning you to come in. We used to talk about that, I remember, in the 80s, 70s, 80s, people would say, Zen is not inviting. It's like Zen robots. They just look at you. They don't invite you where there are all these other New Age groups were always inviting people and smiling and so on, offering you all kinds of wonderful things. The Zen people didn't offer you anything but pain. Yes?

[06:35]

Well, I think the affirmation of welcome that we have in the Bozo board is pretty good for welcoming people to us. Oh, we welcome people. Right. It's somewhat understated compared to other groups of people. Yes. Yeah, true. Yes. So, the gate of true Buddhism is always closed. When you knock, no one will answer. So you must break in. Unless you do, you can only stand on the outside talking about it. But you yourself will never be admitted to see the beautiful treasures. You will have to wait for one who has returned from there to tell you about them. So, typically, traditionally in Zen, one has to really attack. You know, if you go to a monastery like the Heiji or Soji-ji in Japan, the monk comes to the door, to the gate, and puts his head down on the gate and waits for someone to come and invite him in.

[07:49]

And they may tell him to go away. Sometimes they do. Go away. But then he comes back. Go away. He may come back after a day or two. Okay, come on in. So, you have to kind of push your way in. So, given that kind of attitude, this was what was somewhat transmitted to us subtly. in the beginning, but of course, you know, this being America, we do invite people and we are friendly and so forth, but there's always been that still that feeling of you have to find your way in. Although one is invited, even though one is invited, you still have to find your way in. And it's kind of like it's been described as like when a dog has a litter of pups, it's the strong ones that get fed, that push their way in.

[09:02]

That's an exaggerated way of thinking. But that kind of energy is like the vital energy to get into, pursue your way And that brings out the strong spirit. So people who have the strong spirit are the ones who actually find their way in. And if they don't have the strong spirit, they usually go someplace else. And there are many stories about this, many stories that illustrate this kind of attitude. We don't do that. But in a sense, we do. We're very nice, actually. And that's always a big topic. And so we don't... We're very nice people.

[10:13]

So he says, but in Zen, there is no gate, and no one can get in. There's no gate. Muman Khan. No gate. There is a famous saying in Zen, the great Tao has no gate. Here, Tao means mind. Mind is the gate. And you do not need to enter. You are already inside. Zen is called the Buddha mind school. You know, Nichiren is called the Lotus Sutra School, so forth. Zen is called the Buddha Mind School. When we think about what is the Tao, well, you say the Tao is like the path, right? Tao is the path. Ron was questioning me for a long time about the Tao.

[11:19]

What is the path? up and down, back and forth, inside out. Here he says, the mind is the path, mind is the way. Mind is the gate. You do not need to enter, you are already inside. And you do not need to open the door, there is no door. And you do not need to break in, there's nothing to be broken. Just sit down with this great mind. The mind itself is the great Tao. So when the sixth ancestor, Huineng, Daikan Eno, was being pursued by the monks, do you know the story? Some do, some don't. But the fifth patriarch, the fifth ancestor, gave the robe and the bowl to Aikonino. And when he left the monastery, he was pursued by a good number of monks.

[12:24]

And the one that caught up with him was Hui Ming. He was a former general. So, Hui Ming hid behind he put the robe and the bowl down on a rock and kind of concealed himself behind a bush. And when the sixth ancestor was being pursued by the monks that wanted the robe and bowl given to him by his teacher, the fifth ancestor, he placed them on a rock. Hui Ming, who had caught up with him, tried to lift them, but they were as heavy as a mountain and could not be moved. This is very much like the sword and the stone, right? But this is only one version. There are other versions of this story, but it's a good one. I like that one the best. The sixth ancestor said to him, faith cannot be obtained by force. You can't get it by trying to steal it or

[13:34]

putting something on that doesn't fit. So, that faith is a good word. Faith is a good word. It is not necessary to believe anything. It is not necessary to have faith in God or in the devil. But there is something in the human mind which is the pivot of all consciousness. And we base all our attitudes upon it. There is something in human beings that is grand, that is penetrating and pure, that is sacred. It is not tinted by any color. It has no particle of sound, no taste. It is like air and we feel it. It is faith. Faith is the residence of our religion." It's the pivot on which everything else moves. it actually gives life to everything.

[14:42]

So, if you like we can have a discussion. Well, it's the keel. You know, that's a very interesting thing, you know, the sail, the rudder, the keel, right? But wherever you point, you say, there's the ship, right? There's the ship. Well, what part is the ship? a monk a long time ago, and there was a king, King Nagasita, not king, oh, I can't remember his name.

[16:03]

King, I can't remember his name. But this was a long time ago, sort of in Buddha's time frame. And King Melinda would ask Nagasena, the monk, all these questions, and the text is called The Questions of King Melinda, and one of the questions was about is it true that there is no self in the body, in the person? And he said, how can you explain that? And so Nagarjuna said, well, you take a chariot instead of a boat, take a chariot, and you start taking the chariot apart. Is it the frame?

[17:06]

He said, no. Is it the wheels? No. Is it the yoke? No. Is it the carriage? No. And so on and so forth. So there's nothing there, right? So where is the carriage? What is the carriage? Is it a compilation of parts? No. A carriage simply is a confection. So confection means something put together with parts. So the king was convinced of no self. But in this case, we have a ship that has a sail and a rudder and a keel. So wherever we point, we say, well, there's the ship. But if you point to the sail, the sail, although the sail is a part of the ship, the sail is also the whole ship, because without the ship, the sail doesn't mean anything.

[18:15]

And if you point to the keel, you say, well, that's just part of the ship, but without that part, there's no ship. So you point to the keel, and you say, well, that's just the keel, but the keel is the whole ship, So each part contains the whole, and the whole is contained in each part. So when we say faith, faith permeates the whole human character. And there are various parts. When we start taking apart the psychophysical dharmas of the human being, We see how each part is a contributing factor, but each part contains the whole thing. So faith contains every aspect of enlightenment, enlightened being.

[19:24]

But it's really the basis. So in the hierarchy of elements, it's the basis. It's that on which everything turns. And without it, it all falls apart. So, even doubt is an aspect of faith. I mean, real doubt. Not skepticism, but the doubt which is the rudder, so to speak, you know, steering, is an aspect of faith. Because without it, faith is what upholds that doubt, what gives you faith in your doubt. In that book,

[20:29]

Well, you know, there are eight, I've talked about this many times, You may remember that in Mahayana philosophy, I guess you'd call it philosophy, understanding, there are eight aspects of consciousness, the five sense organs, sense consciousnesses, right, the organ of consciousness, eyes, ears, nose, or smell, taste, touch, and so forth.

[21:33]

And then there's mind consciousness, which discriminates between the fields of sense and things, but there's no ego there. And then there's the seventh consciousness, which is ego, or self-consciousness. Eighth consciousness is alaya vijnana, or storehouse of the memory, storehouse consciousness of memory and stores all the seeds of memory which sprout when the conditions are favorable. So whatever we have done or think, everything that we've ever thought, every passing thought that's ever flitted through your mind, You know, the mind is like a raging torrent, right? It's recorded in the alaya vijnana. So, even though you maybe forget stuff, it's like your computer, even though it erases everything, it's still accessible.

[22:43]

The memory is somewhere, stored there, usually. The five senses are one aspect. The mind consciousness is another. The ego consciousness is another. And the alaya or store consciousness is another. So when understanding, these are called vijnanas or consciousnesses. And when those eight consciousnesses are turned on their basis, it's called wisdom. The four are called wisdom. So there's the alaya consciousness is called the great mirror wisdom because it has no mind of its own.

[23:50]

Laya Vijnana is not a thinking capacity, it's an activity capacity. Mind consciousness and self-consciousness access to Laya Vijnana for information. So when the mind is totally open and there's no judgment, no distortion or discrimination, then the mind is like a mirror which sees everything just as it is, without interfering. Like if you hold a mirror up to something, the mirror doesn't stick out its tongue or get angry. It simply reflects everything as it is, so that's the mirror wisdom. Mirror wisdom just simply reflects everything just as it is.

[24:53]

We don't usually see things just as it is, we usually see things through the distortion of our thinking apparatus. imagination, and the way we assess information, so forth. So very rarely do we see things just as it is. Sometimes when you're sitting zazen for hours and hours and you turn around and you get up and you see very clearly without thinking about something, you just see. So that's the mirror wisdom. just sees everything exactly as it is, without comment, or just no discrimination, just bare attention. No discrimination. No good or bad. So, you know, this is basically the function of zazen.

[25:54]

When we're sitting, our mind may be discriminating, but that's not But there's a possibility when you're sitting rather than not discriminating and just being totally open and allowing the mind to be just like a mirror. Something walks in front of it. As they say, a Chinaman walks in front and you see a Chinaman. A woman walks in front and you see a woman. A man walks in front and you see a man. A John walks in front and you see a John. But you see without discrimination. The seventh consciousness, which is manas, or self-consciousness, ego, sees everything, sees the equality of everything. Total equality, which is horizontal. That elephant is equal to a mouse.

[26:56]

Venus is equal to a pebble. everything is totally equal to everything else, then mind consciousness, when it's turned, becomes the wisdom of subtle observation, which sees the difference between everything, and that's the vertical or hierarchical aspect of wisdom. You see how each thing, how everything you see is part of a hierarchy, or part of the hierarchy of life. We usually think of hierarchy as dominating people over the dominated. Hierarchy simply means the place of everything on a scale. So a flower, as I've said many times, a flower has a hierarchy, and if you're a botanist, you study the hierarchy of a plant, the stem and the calyx and the little pieces, all part of the hierarchy.

[28:18]

But the wisdom of hierarchy is that no one thing is any higher than anything else. as far as value goes, because every part of something is necessary. So if you take something out, the whole thing doesn't work the same way. Some things do, but basically that's the reality of hierarchy. And then the wisdom of the four, of the five senses, the five sense consciousnesses become the wisdom of great activity. So that's how it's connecting with the world and acting appropriately to circumstances.

[29:20]

That's the wisdom of appropriate action. So the eight consciousnesses, it's called Parivrtti, turn on the basis of enlightenment, which is based on faith. They become the four wisdoms. So that's my understanding, and it's a model of how the mind works. I think your explanation of the hierarchy of the parts of the flower, is that based on the function of a particular thing? What is the function? Would that be the way? Well, you could say so. I think you could say so, how things function in a vertical way. the wisdom of equality is the horizontal.

[30:26]

So where the vertical and the horizontal meet is called mind. So in every situation we have to be able to see the equality as well as the hierarchy of every activity on each moment. So we say all things be equal. Nevertheless, all things are different. So to be able to see the equality as well as the difference, that's called true mind. And points have no dimension.

[31:34]

Mathematically, that's how you define point. No dimension. So this sunyata, or emptiness, or dimensionless, is infinite, so it's just a point. Yeah, a point of infinity. in Feinheit team. In the reading I was reading today, I was noticing that you talked a lot about transforming faith-mind into body-mind, and that process called transformation of faith. Is that the process you were just describing?

[32:39]

Yes. Bodhi means enlightenment. So, transforming faith, the transformation of enlightenment on the basis of faith. Is that what you, what did you read? Why don't you read what you read? mind of wisdom involves an irreversible transformation of the base, resulting in a qualitative change.

[33:48]

And I understood what he was saying there, but I never really got into exactly what he meant by transformation of the basis, what that was. Well, I think that he's using those terms because he's comparing it to Christianity. in that because when he says, reason and will, he's talking about the Christian attitude, reason and will.

[34:53]

So he's comparing it to, let's see, the great Christian philosopher, But on page 47, talking about fa xin and xin xin, xin is the mind of faith. And fashen is the mind of wisdom. On page 47. So he says, what is the main difference between shenshen and fashen, between the mind of faith and the mind of wisdom?

[36:08]

In order to answer this question, let's ask why, in the Old Testament, Abraham is considered, in the Christian tradition, to be the father of faith. Is it not because he was able to give up his only son, Isaac, whom he had received when he was over 100 years of age? Similarly, in Buddhism, dāna, or giving without attachment, is frequently emphasized as a practice of faith. Giving others what one has in surplus is not true dana. Even giving away one's only possession is not dana, if it does not jeopardize the foundation of one's life. So that's kind of interesting. Of course, dana has many aspects. One is giving more than you need, and then there's giving what you have and so forth. But giving like an ultimate gift, which is, like something that you really want, like your son, like Isaac's son, right?

[37:14]

That's the basis of giving. I mean, that's like true faith in giving, because when you give, then you have nothing, right? So if you become a monk, and you let go of all your possessions and you have nothing, right? The only thing you can rely on is your handout, right? So that's a very deep faith that you'll be supported. But maybe you won't. There's no guarantee. So, I think that's what he's talking about here. There's no guarantee. So what is the dana which enables one to have ancestral faith? What is the most important thing one can give away without attachment? Is it life? No. There is something even more important than life to one who is practicing faith.

[38:17]

It is one's faith. It is one's faith itself that is to be given away. The very moment one gives away one's faith, one's mind becomes Buddha mind. So, yeah, if you depend on faith, then you have to go one step further and let go of that. And then, what he's saying is, then Buddha mind clicks in. Well, let's see what he's saying. So if it's one's faith itself that is to be given away, the very moment one gives away one's faith, one's own mind becomes Buddha-mind. When one has faith, shin-shin, one is always liable to fall back. But when one attains Bodhi-mind through asraya-paravrtti, or revolution of the basis, there is no faith at all. So how can backsliding occur? So once one is completely reborn as Buddha through revolution of the basis, one realizes the non-backsliding faith of Niyata Rasi, the determined class, which is simply the ancestral faith that I am Buddha.

[39:34]

So it's very interesting because when Abraham let go of Isaac, then he received Isaac, right? That's a very strong story. He gave up the thing that he cherished most and then it was given back to him. But he had to give it up first without thinking, well, maybe I'll get it back. No string, you know, no strings attached, just simply. So that's a very vital point. So giving away one's faith, one, in that situation, one finds one's true Buddha self. Yeah.

[40:36]

Well, you know your child is your ego. Yeah. Yeah. You create your child as your ego and you protect it as well as you can. Yes, but Abraham's was not a religion, although the old Jews did have a religion of sacrifice in Abraham's time, or after Abraham, because he was the founder. But, you know, I think to carry a metaphor too far is going too far.

[42:37]

A metaphor has its proper way of eliciting some understanding, but if you carry it too far, then it puts it on a different level. So I think it's a good example as it goes, but if we start talking about it in other ways, I don't know, but I do think that our child, you know, is our ego. And Buddha's asking us, if you want to stop suffering, let go of that. Is our child our ego, or is our ego our child? Well, yeah. That's right. that my ego is my child, but I can't really see that my child is my ego unless I project, unless I, you know, psychologically project that on Alexander, say, and then we have, then he's going to go to therapy for the rest of his life, you know.

[43:55]

But your ego, but your, your ego is your child to take care of, and that's what he meant. Yeah, take care of it. It's our child in the sense of it's something that we create and we don't want to let go of. It's hard to let go of. And it's hard to see it as it is. And if we don't have it, we feel it will die, basically. Anyway, it's time to stand up and take a break. The revolution of the basis is on chapter 16, so that will give you a good idea of the Yogacara understanding of Asaraya Parivrtti, or revolution of the basis.

[45:13]

There's a lot of rattling and stuff up here. I have a practice question about discrimination. In the passage in the book, it's about page 81 or so, the author is talking about returning to one mind. And in order to return to one mind, it's necessary to eliminate the fileness. And then he asks, how do we do that? So my question is, it came up in a discussion last night. I was thinking about this and talking about returning to one mind. than someone else mentioned not getting rid of our thoughts.

[46:41]

And I remember that that's what we frequently say in our practices. We're not trying to get rid of the thoughts. We're just trying to let them flow and let go of them. So my question is, when we're getting rid of the defilements, what are we letting go of? Are we letting go of the thoughts? Discrimination. So it's not really no thought, it's no discrimination. No thought doesn't mean that there are no thoughts. And letting go of discrimination doesn't mean that there's no discrimination. So, you know, thoughts are always existing. it's possible, you know, to block out thoughts, but the thought of blocking out the thoughts is also a thought.

[47:41]

So, as long as you're a human being, unless you are in komato state, there's always a thought process that's going on, and it's like, you know, bubbles coming up from, you know, you try to put a cover on it and it bubbles up over here, you know, you try to put a bubble over here. So, and I'll try and catch that thought, a thought before it enters my mind. And before you know it, oh, I've been thinking for about two minutes. So, it's very hard, you know, to, but it's not necessary to do that. It's only necessary to not take up the thought and create something on the basis of a thought. So you're not creating, you're simply letting the mind do what it needs to do. And this is non-discrimination, because you're not discriminating between whether or not the thoughts should be there or not.

[48:56]

But you're discriminating in that you're choosing to do something. That's a discrimination, but it's not discrimination in the sense of creating right and wrong, good and bad, and creating a duality out of your activity, within your activity. So, The samadhi of non-discrimination is imperturbability. Imperturbability means not being moved by thoughts, not being moved by feelings, not being moved by anything. What moves one is discrimination.

[49:59]

Oh, good, bad, right, wrong, like, dislike. So, you sit in the midst of all that stuff that's going on without being moved by it. That's non-discrimination. And at the same time, there's discrimination. But it's called the discrimination of non-discrimination because it's not based on choice or it's not based on ego. Somebody way in the back. Yeah, so yeah. Well, yes. I'll give you something very simple.

[51:03]

Dogen says, let go and it fills your hand. Let it go and it fills your hand. He's having. He's having. He's having. He said, I have faith. Three things. Right. Okay. That's true. There's two things. But what he's talking about makes me think of when you see that the you that thinks that it owns something is a concoction.

[52:03]

Then there's no you that owns something. giving, letting it go or giving it away. It's not that here's me and I'm going to just let go of that. It's that it's the me that's being let go of. And that the faith is just something else. The faith is a kind of concoction that you are, that you are, the way that we originally think of faith is that it's something that we have. And that's not accurate. Well that's, yeah, have, that's what you're talking about. You said letting go of having. Right, but it's not so much that, oh, now I'm not going to have that anymore. If it's in me that thinks that it has something, it's not going to be like I thought it would. Well, you know, yeah. I think I can see that what you're saying is right. Letting go means not depending on anything.

[53:07]

Well, yes, ultimately that's right. But nevertheless, when you let go of everything, then you see what actually is there, right? And then what's there is the fundamental thing, is what we call F-A-I-T-H. When you let go of everything, that's what you have. So that's interesting. In practice, it's the practice of letting go of everything to see what you have, basically. Yeah, there's implied dualism. I have something, right? That's right. So that's a convenient way of speaking. But actually, it's dualistic. Yeah, that's right.

[54:16]

But in order to talk about it, we have to use the dualistic model. Yeah. Sue? I doubt If I start chasing these terms, I'm going to get just deeper, so I'll stop. What is it that you doubt? My understanding.

[55:19]

point, really, of letting go. So what's wrong with that? There's nothing wrong with it. It's a really strong place to be right now. Yeah, well do you think that we're denying doubt? Well, you know, I missed the first class, so I always thought that I would miss the real conversation about doubt. That's very important, yes. So, doubt is also, doubt and faith, you know, doubt is necessary. Otherwise, faith doesn't have a counterbalance. Well, I think I just got that. Yeah, yeah. Helen? But if I think of it, just as you were describing.

[57:03]

Well, I think I get a take on what you're saying, but I would say that I have trust, but my sense, my experience of saying I strongly doubt this conversation is that I have trust in my doubt. Yes, well, trust is an act of faith. So, and as I had mentioned before, That doubt is supported by faith. Yeah. Nancy? Is it like doubt and faith are part of the same muscle that we extract and expand and therefore... Extending and... Well, just that you need... To practice, you need both. Yes, you need both.

[58:54]

Yeah, it depends on how you use whatever it is you're using, you know. So, doubt is beneficial, faith is beneficial, you know. Doubt can be unbeneficial, faith can be unbeneficial, I think it depends on your attitude. Attitude is everything. If you have an attitude of, you know, if everything you see, if you have a glass, you know, and you say, well the glass is half full, or you may say the glass is half empty, you know, it depends on your attitude. So if you see everything is down, you see it down. If you ever see things as up, you see them as up. So up and down, maybe up is faith and down is doubt.

[59:57]

But up and down balance each other. If they didn't, then up would just simply fly away. So doubt is the grounding for faith. It's like, what's the problem? What's with the language? What do you mean by the language? Give me an example. It's so highly charged and when we talk about it, we can make it manageable. I don't know whether I have it right or not.

[61:00]

Foolish old man. Foolish wise man. Foolish wise man. Filling up the well with snow. Filling up the silver bowl with snow. This well. Foolish wise man filling up the well with snow. It seems like such a good image of faith, just over and over again. That's right. Just doing it. And I think if people saw We do? You know, yes, we just do it. There's no need to get lost. Yes.

[62:33]

Yeah. Well, that's right. Doubt is not skepticism, it's questioning. As we said before, it's not taking anything for granted.

[63:40]

So this is like, you know, we question a question and then our mind opens up and we see things as it is. Because to see things as it is, is to end the questioning. What is it? What is it? Oh, this is what it is. It's beyond our thinking, but at the same time, It is our thinking. Well, that's interesting because there was a time when there was a question.

[65:21]

Is it possible for somebody to not have Buddha nature? And the monks, there was a lot of controversy and some people said, well I think there are people who don't have Buddha nature. And then when they started reading the Lotus, the Nirvana, the Mahayana Nirvana Sutra, the Mahayana Nirvana Sutra said, they thought it said, Most everyone, without exception, most people, almost everyone, almost everyone has Buddha nature, but there are some who don't and there's someone who doesn't. So then they found another more complete version of the nirvana sutra that said, all beings without exception have the Buddha nature.

[66:24]

And then the other monks would go, oh, but you were sorry, you know, to think that way. And then Dogen revised his own version. It said all beings are Buddha nature. So it's not have. He eliminated the have Buddha nature. All beings are Buddha nature. So that's more radical and more inclusive and less dualistic. But what I'm getting at is all beings are capable of faith. All beings are capable of having faith, whether they have it or think they have it or don't think they have it, whatever. It's possible for all beings to exhibit or to find faith, which is literature. Buddha nature is faith. But it's not faith in something.

[67:31]

You say faith in Buddha, faith in our nature, faith in ourself, actually. But then what is ourself? The true human body is the whole universe. So, you know, we may not want to think about these things. It may seem grandiose or something, but there it is. Yes. Yes, that's right, because Faith is the basis of our innermost request, and our innermost request is to be totally absorbed with it.

[68:34]

This is a quote of Suzuki Roshi. He says, so in our practice, we rely on something great. and sit in that great space. The pain you have in your legs or some other difficulty is happening in that great space. As long as you do not lose that feeling that you are in the realm of Buddha nature, you can sit even though you have some difficulty. When you want to escape from your difficulty or when you try to improve your practice, you create another problem for yourself. But if you just exist there, then you have a chance to appreciate your surroundings and you can accept yourself completely without changing anything. This is our practice. And then he says, to exist in big mind is an act of faith, which is different from the usual faith of believing in a particular idea or a being.

[69:42]

It is to believe that something is supporting us and supporting all our activities, including thinking mind and emotional feelings. All these things are supported by something big that has no form or color. It is impossible to know what it is, but something exists there, something that is neither material nor spiritual, something that always exists, and we exist in that great space. That is the feeling of pure existence or pure being. So, he had several statements like that, and I think that's very close to what you were alluding to. Naomi? Earlier tonight, you were saying the mind is doing what mind does.

[70:44]

Mind... You said something to the effect that mind It's doing what mind does. Oh yeah, our thinking mind. Thinking mind. It's always doing something. It's always thinking about something. That mind. That's what I'm talking about. Yeah. That's what I meant. That's what I meant. Our thinking mind. You know, we don't try to repress thoughts because our thinking mind is always thinking. It's just doing what it's supposed to do. We don't try to force something on it, or force it to stop, or to create some special state of mind. If we were to stop all thoughts, that would be to create a special state of mind called mind without any thoughts. But no thought doesn't mean no thinking.

[71:49]

It means that you are not bothered by anything. You're not creating something volitionally. In the beginning of the text, it talked about bringing up the term backsliding. Backsliding, yeah. So would you say that the Buddha mind backsliding could occur? Well, yes. Backsliding, I would say that backsliding is not awakened. If Buddha mind is not awakened. But it depends on what we mean by awakened. If one, you know, once one enters practice, and has impetus to continue, whether one knows it or not, that's based on faith.

[72:58]

So even though there's, as I said the last time, slipping and sliding, that's not the same as backsliding in a sense of retrogression, although it can look like it. one is totally immersed in practice, and practice is the basis of your life. Then all kinds of events can happen, all kinds of things, like you think that you're breaking all the precepts, or you think that you're backsliding, and so forth, but it's all within the realm of total practice. If something slips outside of practice, then I would call it major backsliding. But if whatever, as long as we have the intention to practice and feel that practice is the main thing in our life, then we're bound to have good, bad,

[74:14]

You know, stuff that, because it's our human condition, nobody goes straight. We all go this way, right? So we fall off, and we get back on. We fall off, and we get back on. It's exactly the same as zazen. In zazen, we sit up straight, and take posture, and think about zazen. But our mind thinks about all kinds of things, and so forth. And then we go, oh, oh, oh, and then we get back on, and then we slide off, and we get back on, and we slide off, and we get back on. Our life is just like that. Same thing. It's just a microcosm. It's just a microcosm of our life. We're always falling off. We're always doing something that we don't want to do, or we don't like, or that hurts somebody, or we hurt ourself. And then we get back on. So we're always falling off and getting back on. That's the practice. It's falling off and getting back on.

[75:17]

Over and over and over again. And as long as we can do that, that's called refining our life. We know what our direction is. And within that, we keep falling off and getting back on, falling off and getting back on. And that's how you refine your practice. That's why we, very careful not to judge ourself or others, because we know that within the realm of practice, all this stuff happens. And so we're careful about how we approach the way our life unfolds. So we're both good and bad, and we're both right and wrong. And that's the way it is. So we have to accept that and work with that, rather than think, oh, I'm so bad, you know, and I can't do it anymore.

[76:27]

No, it's just that's what's happening. That's how we have compassion for ourself. When we have compassion for ourself, we have compassion for others. And when we see others doing you know, terrible things, I'm just like that. So I'm not quick to judge, you know, but my compassion goes out to everybody because I can see my own shortcomings, my own faults, and have sympathy for theirs. If we're going around judging everybody, we're not looking at ourself. you

[77:21]

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