It's easier to shake them than... Well, maybe just a little background before we begin. I was born in a small mining town in Minnesota. My father was a miner all of his working career, both in Minnesota and in Africa for a few years. Grew up, never went to a Catholic school in my life until I went to the seminary. I was originally ordained for the Diocese of Duluth, Minnesota. I had done all of my theology at St. John's, so after five years I went back home. And that kind of brings me up to today. A little background. What I'd like to do for the next couple of days is two things. I want to talk about internal and external peace, a little bit about the prologue to the rule, and then I'm taking the daily readings and trying to develop the notion of internal and external peace from our daily readings.

[01:15]

So, one of the things that I would like to start with this morning is Psalm number one. Happy are those who do not follow the advice of the wicked, or take the path that sinners tread, or sit in the seat of scoffers, But their delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law they meditate day and night. They are like trees planted by streams of water, which yield their fruit in its season, and their leaves do not wither. In all that they do, they prosper. The wicked are not so. but are like chaff that the wind drives away. Therefore, the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous.

[02:24]

For the Lord watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish." Right away in Psalm 1, we have choices to make. And those choices open up for us our own insight into the presence of God, active within us, active within each other. Too often we miss the obvious. If you wish to hide something, put it in plain sight. The character Sherlock Holmes from Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, the other character Jane Marple from Agatha Christie, great sleuths at capturing the obvious clues that everyone overlooked as they were trying to solve the crime.

[03:27]

Sherlock Holmes with calabash pipe and a large magnifying glass. In other words, open your eye, it's right in front of you. Open your ears. Jane Marple and also Hercule Poirot, two great sleuths from Agatha Christie. common sense. They saw what was in front of them, and they used those simple clues to solve the crime. I opened with Psalm 1, and right at the very beginning of the book of Psalms, we are presented with two choices. How do we choose to live our life? What are the openings that catch our attention and draw us further into the life of Christ and the gospel message?

[04:29]

We listen to scripture, we hear it, we read it, and we do not hear it, and we do not see it. It is so close to us and too often we take it for granted in such a way that it no longer carries any depth for us. When we miss the obvious, when we step aside from what can nurture and nourish us, we run into the problem of the battle. And the battle is, our own internal struggle. Early, there was a practice that was started in the Middle Ages at the Great Abbey of Cluny. It was sponsored as an experiment in conciliation among feudal neighbors, half-civilized landlords in a state of more or less

[05:38]

endemic war with each other. The arrangement was known as the truce of God, and it was that all hostilities should be restricted to three days in the week, Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. On the other days of the week, no fighting. Of course, this never was observed for any length of time, with much consistency, and in retrospect, it's a mixture of naive earnestness and cynicism, and it's rather funny. It's also characteristic somehow of monasteries and the church. But it's more than just a comical bit of medieval eccentricity. Behind it lay the recognition that for baptized Christians, sharers in the body of Christ, to be in a state of war with one another is horrible and ridiculous.

[06:49]

The mild ludicrousness of the response pales, however, in the comparison with the absurdity of people who could, in principle, kneel side by side to share the communion of Christ's body and blood, also planning revengeful slaughter against each other. Sometimes we forget that the truth of God has to be within ourselves as well. The two parts of us that are forever struggling with the gospel of Christ, the life of grace, and the want to turn our backs and live in our own fashion. We get caught by our own cleverness, we get caught by our own abilities, and we push aside the immediate possibility of meeting Christ within ourselves and each other.

[07:58]

Now, as foolish as this brief story may sound, In today's context, we do have in the early part of the 20th century the experience of two small groups of warring armies, the British and the Germans, fighting each other on a Christmas Eve. Some of you may be familiar with this story. The story takes place during World War I, where two opposing camps on Christmas Eve put down their arms and meet in the middle of the battlefield to share Christmas carols, what little food they have, and to celebrate the birth of Christ our Savior. During that brief respite, they came to recognize and appreciate that in some way they were brothers with each other, sharing in the mystery of Christ's love.

[09:05]

Far from home and lonely for their families, they found a camaraderie and a brotherhood on the eve of our Savior's birth. After that brief celebration, they could no longer shoot at each other. In fact, they had to be separated from each other and sent to different fronts of the war so they could continue shooting at people like themselves. They refused to fight once they recognized they had a common brotherhood, a common life in Christ, and a common belief in the goodness of persons. The goodness lied in each of them, not as groups but as individuals. And as they recognized themselves in that situation, they had to come to terms with the whole notion of internal and external peace.

[10:09]

Externally, their two countries were at war. Internally, they saw each other as brothers. When we're at war with ourselves, internally or externally with each other, we disrupt the truth and the life of Christ. These two situations The first, a policy of a medieval monastery. The second, an unintended application of that very policy gives us pause to reconsider our own approach to the gospel and the monastic life to which we've committed ourselves. What is this monastic life to which we commit ourselves, persevering till death, under the banner of one Savior. Have we come in some unknown way to find the truths of God in our own life, seeking internal and external peace, living the rule of Saint Benedict?

[11:24]

A story that helps us put this in perspective is the Jesus story that quiets the strikers. Years ago, there was a great strike at the London docks that affected shipping throughout the world and caused a great deal of tension and bitterness. A certain laborer by the name of Ben Tillett was speaking to a group of dockmen He knew that his fellow workers were in no mood for a sermon, yet he felt they were honest and human and open to ideals. In his effort to influence them, he decided to describe the worker of Nazareth with powerful words and sincere tenderness

[12:33]

He sketched the daily doings of the divine worker, emphasizing the human and understanding way in which Christ met and solved problems. He went on to tell them what he thought Christ would do if he owned the London docks, and what he would do if he were one of the workers. Restless at first, the group gave him undivided attention. When Tillett finished speaking, a muscular man jumped up and shouted, Ben Tillett, I don't know this worker of Nazareth, who he is, that you've been talking about, but I move that we give him three cheers. Too often we've missed the purpose and the recognition of the worker of Nazareth, Jesus Christ.

[13:42]

Too often our own internal struggles, whether in community or within ourselves, has put us on strike in a sense. We may not have left the monastery, we may not cease going to prayer or to Mass, but we go on strike inside and we begin a struggle and we forget the chance to appreciate the mediator in our life, Jesus Christ. That mediation of His grace is the opening of the door that brings us peace. These few stories help to lay the foundation for the next couple of days as we explore together the nature of internal and external peace. As we walk together, may we each discover how Christ is speaking within us and to walk in our daily life with us.

[14:51]

Where is the reality of what we profess and the mystery to which we commit our lives? We may not find answers to these questions, but we may discover a new insight into ourselves and a new and fresh beginning to what has become so common and so familiar. It is possible to bring a new freshness to the ordinary, as we sanctify the days with prayer and the celebration of the Eucharist. For it is in the ordinary that we discover the mystery of Christ and allow ourselves to be surprised by the gift of peace, both internal and external. In community life that we have chosen, we recognize

[15:55]

that for Saint Benedict, there was no doubt about the superiority of the cenobitic life, and in that life together, he gave us some tools in order to find peace. Prayer, our daily work, and a common search for God. Now, he also alerted us to those elements that can separate us from ourselves and from each other and destroy the fiber of our community life. Depending on the translation one uses, call it murmuring or grumbling, Negativity, any number of titles can be given that disrupt internal and external peace. What happens? That negativity starts to take up room within our hearts that by right belongs to God.

[17:05]

And we have to do some house cleaning on occasion. and clear out the clutter and the anxiety and negativity that keeps us from recognizing what blessings we have in monastic life, what blessings we have been given as individuals that we bring to share with our brothers in community. Murmuring or grumbling is no different than picking up a spear, a sword, or a gun and pointing it at someone else or at ourselves. It destroys the fiber of our community life. It destroys the fiber of our own life. And there we have to declare a truce. We have to put down whatever is disrupting the peace that we've come to seek and open our hearts to the mystery of the Savior's love.

[18:19]

Now that's enough for now. This afternoon, I'd like to talk briefly about the prologue. Some of the talks may go as long as 20 to 25 minutes. Some may be as short as 7 to 10. But the idea is to spend a few days asking ourselves, where is the truce I need to declare with God? either with myself as a member of this community, or with myself in relationship to Christ. Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end. Amen. We're ready?

[19:49]

Okay, let's begin. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, Amen. As we begin this afternoon, I would like to look at Psalm 32 before I talk about the prologue. Happy are those whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. Happy are those to whom the Lord imputes no iniquity and whose spirit there is no deceit. While I kept silence, my body wasted away through my groaning all the day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me. My strength was dried up as by the heat of summer. Then I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not hide my iniquity.

[20:53]

I said I will confess my transgressions to the Lord, and you forgave the guilt of my sin. Therefore, let all who are faithful offer prayer to you at a time of distress. The rush of mighty waters shall not reach them. You are a hiding place for me. You preserve me from trouble. You surround me with glad cries of deliverance. I will instruct you and teach you the way you should go. I will console you with my eye upon you. Do not be like a horse or a mule without understanding. whose temper must be curbed with bit and bridle, else it will not stay near you. Many are the torments of the wicked, but steadfast love surrounds those who trust in the Lord.

[21:59]

Be glad in the Lord and rejoice, O you righteous, and shout for joy, all you upright in heart. In that Psalm, as we're talking about forgiveness, if we don't forgive someone else, all we have is a past. Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the door to our own future growth and spiritual development. Not to forgive, is to block, as we were saying this morning, the opportunity for the truth, truce, and life of Christ to grow within us. Our own capacity to sin is certainly no mystery to our Savior. But He gave His Son as a sacrifice and as a victim for our forgiveness.

[23:08]

God really is forgiving. The question isn't God's forgiveness. The question is, will we allow ourselves to be forgiven, and again, will we be able to accept God's grace and forgive ourselves? These notions of forgiveness can be barriers or opportunity to understanding and living the gospel life and certainly this monastic life that we all share. To say that God won't forgive or can't forgive is to say God is a liar. When he sent his son as sacrifice and victim, or victim and sacrifice, he did so because he intends truly and does forgive us to say, I have sinned to such a point or a degree I can't be forgiven, or God won't forgive me.

[24:14]

Well, that's arrogance and pride. And the source of arrogance and pride certainly is not the love and grace of Jesus Christ. God does love us and will accept us and invites us into his healing and self-acceptance. This leads us to the prologue of the rule, in fact, only the first opening paragraph Simply hearing, or are we truly listening? With the ear of our heart really means to listen with our total person. To listen with the ear of our heart means to get the clutter out of it. Everything that takes up room that does not belong to God needs to be cleared out.

[25:21]

If we are to listen, we can't have any cotton or wool stuck in the ears of our heart, because our total person is involved. And when our heart is distressed, when our heart is resentful, there's no room for listening. Now, all of us have heard this opening paragraph to the rule any number of times. From the prologue, listen, my son, to your master's precepts and incline the ear of your heart. Receive willingly and carry out effectively your loving father's advice that by the labor of obedience you may return to him from whom you have departed by the sloth of disobedience." This opening paragraph to the rule of Saint Benedict helps us to continue the conversation we are having concerning the truce of God.

[26:37]

But there is something more here than simply an opening paragraph to one of the most famous and well-used rules for monastic and community life. In fact, what we have is the instruction manual on how to use and understand the rest of the rule. We would make a mistake to pick up the rule and begin reading the 73 chapters without having read The Prologue. Now, this is a paid political announcement. It would be like taking the Code of Canon Law and reading Books 2 through 7 without having read Book 1. This simply doesn't work. There is no method for interpretation or understanding the rest of the Code or the rest of the Rule. The Prologue is our instruction manual. It tells us how to read the rest of the rule.

[27:43]

Without that instruction, we have a number of cases where there are good ideas or directions on how to live the monastic life. For example, how to divide the Psalms for the liturgy of the hours, how to use them. And in fact, at the end, Saint Benedict says, and if you don't like this, do it yourself. Now that can be pulled out of the rule and just temporarily put aside. But when it's taken within the context of the prologue and listening, the value of prayer and instruction, it may not be the exact distribution that's important, but the importance of using the Psalms, how we use them, where we use them, and it gives us something to appreciate, to listen with the ear of our heart. This is the same with regard to the rule, in fact.

[28:46]

That's our listening. The philosophy of Saint Benedict and his theology are laid out for the monk in the prologue. Just think of that. The philosophy of Saint Benedict and his theology is laid out for the monk in the prologue. The prologue is more than a lyrical piece of writing. It is an amazing beginning for anyone interested in living the gospel message. The word listen is at once an admonition and an exhortation. Listen. It's like when the prior gets angry. Listen to me. But it's also an exhortation. Christ is saying, listen to the gospel. Listen to my message and let it pierce your heart in order to get your attention. In fact, the word listen is a summary again of Saint Benedict's life and teaching.

[29:53]

It is meant to draw the monk into the search for life of Christ within This is done with living the rule and with daily Lectio. And in our life, Lectio is the heart of our continuing education. That continuing education is the nurturing and nourishment of our entire life. Without that nurturing, we forget too easily the value of listening, the value of forgiveness, and the value of coming to terms with our own person. This morning when I spoke about the truths of God, it is easy enough to say, I won't shoot somebody, I won't stab somebody, I won't club somebody. But when we declare a truth within our own hearts with God, that's where the work begins.

[31:02]

That work has to do with our own self-acceptance. In the monastery, and this is a beautiful monastery, it's much more quiet than my own, but there's no escape. Once a monk enters the monastery, it's a slap upside the head if we're not paying attention. Because that kind of slap upside the head is saying, you're not getting the picture yet. Let's try it again. Let's try Lectio, let's try prayer. For instance, oh that today you would listen to his voice, do not harden your hearts This verse taken from Psalm 95, which we hear in our choir every day, it's yet another reminder of the importance of listening, but it is the quality and the gift of listening in which we hear the message meant for us.

[32:12]

Too often our prayer or Lectio are flooded with personal agenda. And we are not able to center our hearts or minds in order to listen. But it cannot be done unless we are empty and looking to be made full. The truths of God cannot be achieved, that is, internal and external peace, unless we are prepared in a sense to do battle with ourselves and our capacity to sin. This battle with ourself in sin is the only way to put to rest the anger and resentment that we too often carry within our hearts. To whom shall we go, Lord? You have the words of everlasting life.

[33:16]

Now part of that resentment or anger that we may carry is nurtured by grumbling and murmuring. Let's just take a moment to look at six articles of Wesley's covenant. That's John Wesley. He and six other men who were nicknamed the Methodists signed a covenant with each member to hang on the wall in their study. The six articles of the solemn agreement are as follows, that we will not listen or willingly inquire after ill concerning one another. That if we do hear any ill of each other, we will not be forward to believe it.

[34:23]

That as soon as possible, we will communicate what we hear by speaking or writing to the person concerned. That until we have done this, we will not write or speak a syllable of it to another person. that neither will mention it after we have done this to any other person, that we will not make any exceptions to any of these rules unless we think ourselves absolutely obliged to do so. What we hear about each other, what we say about each other, and too often what we do to each other by our actions or words, doesn't include the life of Christ within us. This young group, which became the Methodist group, understood clearly how much damage can be done when we stray from the Gospel message, when we stray from the rule of Saint Benedict that we profess our lives to.

[35:41]

What happens is damage is done actually to the life and the person of Christ, as well as to each of us as individuals. The sense of forgiveness, the sense of respect for person is the foundation upon which love is built. love for each other and for the love of Christ within us. Without respect or an appreciation of the dignity and integrity that is given to us by Christ, we miss every opportunity that we might have to move forward in the monastic life. Benedict gave us many tools to use. How we use those, they were mentioned this morning, just simple tools, you don't have to go through the list. You can read the rule for yourselves, but the synobium. Benedict understood and teaches us in the rule that the Cenobite, the one who lives in the monastery, is the strongest kind of monk.

[36:48]

And therefore the rule is built around how do we Build that life of love within our own communities. It says we might have a little strictness for the purpose of love. I don't think we understand love. That's one of those words that's thrown around so easily today that in some ways it's lost its meaning. I love the color of the car. I love the color of the house. We start loving all kinds of things and the word gets diluted. Let's consider love as understanding the image of Christ that is within each person. Our physical characteristics are all different, but the image that is imprinted on us, the image of Christ, is what we love in each other. As we live our life, we leave a thumbprint, or ideally only a thumbprint and not a footprint, on each other.

[37:54]

And what we're leaving behind is a bit of ourselves. And as we get to know and appreciate each other, we retain a little bit of each of the people we know. That's what we're loving and respecting, that gift that is deposited within us from someone else. We're loving that person for doing that. That's a wonderful foundation for community life. And sometimes we spend days and years without fully grasping that message, without fully appreciating what we have and the blessings that we have to go with it. That's the whole point of the first word of the prologue. Listen is more than just with the ear or even with the ear of the heart.

[38:56]

It's entering into a whole way of life with one's total person. It's being engaged with what scripture teaches us. It's being engaged with what Saint Benedict lays out before us as a way of life. How do we engage further with listening? How do we find, in our listening, internal and external peace? Praise to the Father, the Son, and Holy Spirit, both now and forever. Amen. And I'll finish more about listening tomorrow. Let's begin in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.

[40:08]

Amen. To begin this afternoon, let's consider Psalm 54. Save me, O God, by your name, and vindicate me by your might. Hear my prayer, O God. Give ear to the words of my mouth. For the insolent have risen against me. The ruthless seek my life. They do not set God before them. But surely God is my helper. The Lord is the upholder of my life. He will repay my enemies for their evil. In your faithfulness, put an end to them. With a freewill offering, I will sacrifice to you. I will give thanks to your name, O Lord, for it is good.

[41:09]

For he has delivered me from every trouble, and my eye has looked in triumph on my enemies." As we continue from yesterday, considering why Saint Benedict was so concerned with removing grumbling from the monastery, We have a couple of other things to just consider before moving on, and some further examples of what can disturb the truths of God in our houses and in our hearts. A few things here. The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them. That was Will Rogers. So live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.

[42:14]

It isn't the people who tell you all they know that causes so much of the trouble in this world. It's the ones who tell more. Tail-bearing emits a threefold poison, for it injures the teller, they who hear, and the person concerning whom the tale is told. Once written on a billboard in the state of Indiana, he who throws dirt loses ground. As a pastor, For 13 years, actually about 18 years, five for the Diocese of Duluth and 13 with my own community, there were many confessions, opportunities for reconciliation, and occasionally I'd have to remind the penitent to confess his or her own sins and not those of their neighbor.

[43:29]

So let's consider, as we move along, the whole notion of listening. From the beginning of the third chapter of Sirach, listen to me, your father, O children. Act accordingly, that you may be kept in safety. Certainly continues the whole notion of the prologue in Listen, My Son, to Your Master's Instructions. What I'd like to do for the rest of the talks is take a few of the readings for the rest of the week and have us consider their content without reading the readings, but just consider their content, so when we attend Mass during the week, we have a thought in our mind how to continue the life and peace of Christ within us.

[44:36]

But for tomorrow, the readings are from Amos and the Gospel of Matthew. We consider the word prophet, Amos the prophet, Sometimes that word is a bit misleading. To us, a prophet is one who foretells the future, but that is only a minor function. Amos, in his life and preaching, illustrates the chief function of the prophet, which is to be the conscience of his people, reminding them constantly of all that God has done for them and recalling them to renewal of life as partners in their covenant with God. It's a good reminder of how we renew our own vows, our own covenant with each other and with our Savior in this commitment we've made to the monastic life.

[45:49]

Often, as is the case today, the prophet threatens and with a consequence there is often disloyalty unless we amend. We as monastics, as Christians, as followers of Christ need to remind ourselves that the prophets speak to our condition. Our sin may or may not be sensational as those of the Israelites, but when love is the basis of our relationship with God, even the smallest sin is a betrayal. Prophets are the voice of God constantly calling us back. Our monastic life Our Christian way of living is prophetic and it is counter-cultural.

[46:58]

It calls us to stand not so much in opposition to society. Opposition means we're at battle. It's not that kind of struggle. But as an alternative, as a distinct way of living the life of Jesus Christ. that stands apart in one sense and in the middle in another. Apart from, because the gospel isn't necessarily calling us to the latest deodorant, the newest car, the best clothing, the newest and best, and which wine to drink. But in the middle of society, because we stand as a challenge, living the gospel and the monastic life, a challenge to others as prophetic, calling them to attention, others to attention, and ourselves at the same time, for how we live, how we interact with people, and how we represent

[48:14]

the face of Christ. Are we inviting or are we off-putting? Our life should be inviting. Our life should bring comfort to those who visit us. Our life should be a sign that there's value in living the gospel. There should be value in our way of life where we do not take others for granted, members of our community or those friends who support us. How easy it is to take someone for granted. A little story. The artist only needed a beggar. I've read of an artist who wanted to paint a picture of the prodigal son.

[49:16]

He searched through many poorhouses, prisons, jails, to find a man wretched enough to represent the prodigal son. But he couldn't find one. One day, He was walking down the street and met a man he thought would do. He told the poor beggar he would pay him well if he came to his room and sat for his portrait. The beggar agreed, and the day was appointed for him to come. The day came. And the man put in his appearance at the artist's room. You made an appointment with me, he said, when he was shown into the studio.

[50:17]

The artist looked at him. I never saw you before, he said. You cannot have an appointment with me. Yes, he said. I agreed to meet you today at ten o'clock. You must be mistaken. It must have been another artist. I was to see a beggar here at this hour. Well, says the beggar, I am he. You? Yes. Why, what have you been doing? Well, I thought I would dress myself up a bit before I had my portrait painted. Then, said the artist, I don't want you. I wanted you as you were. Now you are of no use to me." Gives us pause to consider our own behavior and how we move through our own communities

[51:30]

and how we appreciate those who are of support to us. As the rule says, there will always be guests knocking at the door. And those guests can sometimes be irritating, sometimes life-giving, generous, thoughtful, and complaining. Who are we looking for when we see a guest appear? What are we looking for when we see a guest appear? Do we see Christ in that person? Or if we know them well, do we kind of steel ourselves up and say, oh, this is good for an hour of complaining? Or do we see Christ in the person, in the beggar, in the artist, and in the person who got washed up and dressed up to have his portrait painted.

[52:37]

The whole purpose of that consideration is to put us back into the role of the prophet, calling ourselves to account for God's presence in our life? What do we expect God to do? Does God expect anything from us? Where is the cooperation in our life? In our listening? In our being prophets in the midst of our own culture? Not prophets in and of ourselves because we're so gifted. Our life is very ordinary, but that we're even willing to believe and take up the gospel. Even if we don't believe today that our attempt at believing the gospel is prophet enough for the guest, for the artist, and for the beggar.

[53:50]

Let's begin, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. And let's begin with Psalm 75 this morning. We give thanks to you, O God. We give thanks. Your name is near. People tell of your wondrous deeds. At the set time that I appoint, I will judge with equity. When the earth totters with all its inhabitants, it is I who keep its pillars steady. I say to the boastful, do not boast, and to the wicked, do not lift up your horn. Do not lift up your horn on high or speak with insolent neck. For not from the east or from the west and not from the wilderness comes lifting up, but it is God who executes judgment, putting down one and lifting up another.

[55:27]

For in the hand of the Lord there is a cup with foaming wine, well mixed. He will pour a drought from it, and all the wicked of the earth shall drink it down to the dregs. I will rejoice forever. I will sing praise to the God of Jacob. All the horns of the wicked I will cut off, but the horns of the righteous shall be exalted. This morning, I'd like to talk about tomorrow's Solemnity. I looked at the readings for the Vigil Mass, and it's interesting to look at the two characters, St. Peter and St. Paul. One a fisherman, the other a Pharisee, both kind of tough characters, a little rough on the edges.

[56:34]

Peter, a little gruff, not too refined, St. Paul, probably well skilled. Today we might call him a canonist. But when we look at this feast, it takes us back to the beginning of the church, and it reminds us of the kinds of persons on whom Jesus built his church. It is good for all of us to be reminded that the founding pillars of the Church were human and frail. And those two realities, our humanity and our frailty, are the base upon which our Savior invests in us, invests His life, gave His life, and offers His life. Human and frail. In the Vigil Mass, it's Peter is asked three times by Jesus, do you love me?

[57:42]

And after much frustration, and Peter responding three times in the affirmative, it's the reminder of his threefold denial. Denial in what sense? I do not know him. We're familiar with the passion narrative where Christ denies our Savior. The denials come in other ways as well. They come in our lives. They come in those small ways when we forget that we are deeply loved and completely loved by our Savior. Our doubts come in. Our tendency to be self-willed comes in. Now, self-willed and using one's intelligence are different. God gave each of us gifts and asks us to use those at the service of others.

[58:46]

Self-willed is the old Sinatra song, I did it my way. Well, how sad is that? If we are working with Christ, we may not have the pattern or the plan, but if we're allowing ourselves to be guided, not led, guided, the plan unfolds for us. And the guidance comes when we surrender our self-will and say, I'm willing to put my hand in your hand, Lord, but you're going to walk about right next to me. Not in front, not in back, but next to me. And you're going to help me not stumble too often. So, human and frail. And in the vigil mass, we also find Paul

[59:49]

in his pre-conversion persecution of the church and his conversion. And he gives all credit to Christ. Paul was absolutely convinced as a Jew that what he was doing in persecuting the church was the right thing. how mistaken he was when he got knocked off his horse. Now, we might not have striking conversion points in our life. No one's going to throw us out of our Mercedes, or off the tractor, or out of the limousine, or out of the plane. A little dramatic. But in the ordinary that Saint Benedict talks about, to make holy the ordinary, we find conversion, those simple things that remind us of God's constant care. We find that in the realization of becoming a whole person, a saint, is the work of a lifetime of receiving Jesus into our lives and allowing him full power over our hearts.

[61:04]

full power over our hearts. As we spoke a couple of days ago, anything that takes up room that is not of God needs to be cleaned out. So when God takes possession of us, of our full hearts, we have room to be guided through life. And both St. Peter and St. Paul had failures. If all we do is succeed in life, we'll never understand what it means to actually find Christ. Success often is looked at as the arrival point. Success is just a process. It's like faith. It's not a destination. Faith is not a destination. Faith is a slow process of conversion, denial, reconciliation, and grace.

[62:15]

When we put those elements together, We can appreciate our human frailty and our giftedness. Each of us, as they say, has gifts, each to be used at the service of another. Christ was both victim and sacrifice, and in a way we share in that same reality, as being victim with Christ and sacrifice for the Kingdom, as we continue to give of our lives, for remember, giving of the heart is giving of our total person. If it's only after our own personal failures, our denials of Christ, that we are able to cry out with Peter, Lord, you know everything. You know well that I love you. A good story to help put this into perspective

[63:23]

is the description of the painting, Christ Knocking at the Door. In Holman Hunt's great picture called Light of the World, we see one with patience, gentle face, standing at the door, which is ivory covered, as having been long closed. He is girded with a priestly breastplate. He bears in his hand the lamp of truth. He stands and knocks. There is no answer. And still he stands and knocks. His eyes tell of love. His face beams with yearning. If you look closely and you perceive that there is no knob or latch on the outside of the door, it can only be opened from the inside.

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Do you see the meaning? The Spirit of God comes to our hearts, the door of our hearts, and knocks. He stands there while storms gather and break upon his own sheltered head, while the sun declines and night comes on with its chills and its heavy dues. He waits and knocks, but we must open the door for ourselves. The only latch is inside. Are we willing to open the door? Peter claimed the door was open, but he closed it three times. Paul stood behind a closed door and realized he had to open it.

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Each of us has to come to that point in our own lives. I have the latch to the door. in the palm of my own hand. The choice to open that door to Christ, or to have it remain closed, is my choice, our choice. In giving us choice in our life, there's never an instance where Christ forces anyone to believe. He didn't force St. Paul to believe, he just knocked him to the ground. He got his attention, but he didn't say he had to believe. There was no forcing. Peter, a staunch supporter of Christ through his early ministry, denies him three times.

[66:42]

He didn't force Peter to come back to be reconciled. He didn't say, Peter, now I've got a job for you and you better get yourself back here so I can forgive you and you can forgive yourself and you can get on with the business of building a church, a faith community. Peter recognized there was something missing without opening the door again and returning to Christ. internal and external peace, are we willing to open the door? Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus.

[67:43]

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen. Amen. Let us begin with Psalm 82 this afternoon. God has taken his place in the divine council. In the midst of the gods, he holds judgment. How long will you judge unjustly and show partiality to the wicked? Give justice to the weak and the orphan.

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Maintain the right of the lowly and the destitute. Rescue the weak and the needy. Deliver them from the hand of the wicked. They have neither knowledge nor understanding. They walk around in darkness. All the foundations of the earth are shaken. I say, you are gods, children of the Most High, all of you. Nevertheless, you shall die like mortals and fall like any prince. Rise up, O God, judge of the earth, for all the nations belong to you." A retreat is like going back to novitiate. None of us wants to rush back to those days of that first year, but we recognize at least once a year it's important to stop, to reconsider even the most obvious parts of our life and try to put them back into a perspective that helps us re-energize our commitment,

[70:16]

to appreciate more closely the gift of Christ's grace active within us and the relationship that we share in our life together. Sometimes the daily frustrations of life cloud our vision. We become weighed down with the simple things that take up our time and our vision becomes clouded. And in restoring our vision, it's a new insight, a new perspective to re-energize and rejuvenate this life that we share in the monastery. This afternoon, I will look briefly at the reading the readings for 30 June. To the upright, I will show the saving power of God.

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These words are from the Responsorial Psalm for 30 June and describe Jesus and his life perfectly. In today's Gospel, Jesus delivers two demonic, two demonics from satanic influence. That was his entire life. It still is. He continues to exercise that same divine healing power in his church today, especially in the sacrament of reconciliation. Now, there are many ways to be reconciled with each other and with our Savior. Sacramental reconciliation is certainly one. familiar to us, but reconciliation in appreciating the presence of Christ in our life. Too easily we put them off on the shelf.

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I have to go and do this. I have to be here. I have a meeting. I'm on a trip. Reconciliation is saying, oh, oh, I've misplaced you. I've allowed myself to misplace you and the value that you hold in my life. And when we misplace anything, just think of it. It can be a set of car keys. It can be a wrench. It can be a knife from the kitchen. It doesn't matter. A hymnal. favorite Bible that we carry around. We misplace it and the energy we consume trying to find it. Where did I put it? We walk forward, we walk backward, we look in every drawer where we know we didn't put it. And sometimes it's hidden in plain sight and that

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Relief that becomes apparent immediately when we find what we're looking for is similar to the reconciliation we can experience with our Savior when we've misplaced Him in our life. The best way to thank Christ for His favors is by worship, but not just any kind of worship. as God indicates by his criticism of his people's public worship. That was the problem. It was only public, only external. It did not spring from loving hearts, and worst of all, it did not promote justice. God does not need our worship. We need it in order to be whole and holy.

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Without it, all God's people suffer, and ourselves most of all. Going to choir can become so routine that even before the bell rings, we might find ourselves on the way. We're so familiar with the office, we're so familiar with the hymns, the psalms, the psalm tones, do we take a moment to appreciate not just what we're saying, but the value of what we're expressing in our worship to God? Praise and worship, that's what our Savior is calling us to. Praise and worship of our loving God. Amos and he, like other prophets, were forever reminding their brothers and sisters in the Israelite community, remember the covenant.

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Remember we were led out of Egypt. Remember God gave us his promise of his love, but he's asking for our cooperation. He's asking for the investment of our person. When we reinvest, the new life of Christ again comes alive within us and gives us new energy. Now, it may not be something so simple as choir. It may be another incident in our life. that calls us back to appreciate the fact of the presence of Christ. This brief story may help. It's entitled, A Touch on His Shoulder. On February 26, 1844, occurred one of the major disasters in the history of our Navy.

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The Princeton, the most powerful warship of that day, commanded by Captain Stockton, was taking members of Congress and government officials down the Potomac. On board were the President of the United States, the Secretaries of State and Navy. For the entertainment of the guests, The great gun on the Princeton, called the Peacemaker, was fired. At the second discharge, the gun burst, killing the Secretary of State, the Secretary of the Navy, and a number of others. Just before the gun was fired, Senator Thomas Benton of Missouri was standing near it. When a friend laid a hand on his shoulder, Benton turned away to speak with him, when, much to his annoyance, the Secretary of the Navy, Gilmore, elbowed his way into his place.

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At that moment, the gun was fired and Gilmore was killed. That singular providence had a great impression on Benton. He was a man of bitter feuds and quarrels, and recently had had a fierce quarrel with Daniel Webster. But after his escape from death on the Princeton, Benton sought reconciliation with Webster. He said to him, It seemed to me, Mr. Webster, as if that touch on my shoulder was the hand of the Almighty stretched down there, drawing me away from what otherwise would have been instantaneous death. That one circumstance has changed the whole current of my thought and life.

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I feel that I am a different man, and I want, in the first place, to be at peace with all those with whom I have been so sharply at variance." Internal and external peace. What will be the incident in each of our lives that gets our attention? What will be the incident in each of our lives where we go, aha, I get it. I am loved by God completely, totally, and without reservation. Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.

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Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory forever and ever. Amen. Our last talk. Let's begin with a prayer. God be in my head and in my understanding. God be in my eyes and in my looking.

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God be in my mouth and in my speaking. God be in my heart and in my thinking. God be at my end and in my departing. As we come to the conclusion of our time together on retreat, our revisiting of novitiate, maybe just a few thoughts to bring to conclusion what we've been trying to talk about, internal and external peace and the truce of God that comes with it. In order to understand what we've been talking about for the past several days, it is important for us to put into perspective three concrete principles of our monastic life.

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Silence, humility, and obedience. All three are concrete cultural realities that force and challenge us to question ourselves and the life we have chosen. The problems that are presented for our consideration could be some of these, competition, self-importance, success, and grumbling. These elements touch the dark side of our human life They remind us of the presence of evil and sin in our life. Let us consider what it means to be a competitor. Are we dealing with our own pride? Our own desire to succeed? Our own desire to do better than someone else?

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In our desire to touch upon the developing and self-image that we create for ourselves. One of the remedies to any of these difficulties that are so part of our human life is learning to serve, taking a step away from being a competitor and self-importance, and allow us to be freed in heart to incorporate the gospel into our daily life. But in order for us to do this, we need to step back and listen, to listen with the ear of our heart to the reality of Christ living within us. All of us have had the experience of broken trust, broken relationships,

[85:07]

and in some senses broken minds. Where do we find healing? We find healing in the Eucharist, the presence of Christ, calling us to become what we receive, His very person. However, we will not be able to achieve these realities without a sense of silence in our own person. The type of silence that is required, the kind which allows one to empty oneself completely in order to be filled with the presence of God's grace, in order to listen with the ear of our heart. Humility is the understanding of our strengths and weaknesses without pretense and without self-importance, but rather to see ourselves as our Savior sees this broken person in need.

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Obedience. We've all come to realize in our own monastic lives it's not mindlessly following orders given to us by someone else. It means being attentive, listening with the ear of our heart to move from self-absorption to service. Service and servant. These terms in our culture somehow have become abrasive or distasteful, when in reality they are the essence of Christ coming to us daily. As we attempt to lift our minds to the reality of God's love, we see in our own brokenness the need for healing, healing of our memories, healing of our hearts, healing of our minds from those things which distract us from the love of Jesus Christ, our Divine Physician.

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What we are talking about is the gift of salvation. If salvation is for any, It is for all. And Christianity in its own way goes even further by calling us to come nearer to the love of Christ. The return of the lost, the excluded, the failed, or the destroyed. This Jesus comes to us in his new and risen life as universal king by searching out all but the forgotten, the failed members of our human family. Only in this way can he claim all authority in heaven and on earth. Only in this way can his family

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be the principal and co-existent human family, past, present, and to come. These challenges which face us are not challenges at all. They're opportunities for us to risk. Our own monastic life sometimes is so familiar that change or risking a change seems to somehow disrupt our lives, our internal sense of well-being. The change that's called for, or the risk that we take, is to gain more understanding and insight into ourselves. The risk we take is to find Christ, that deeper love that is offered to us. The risk we take is to be healed.

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The risk we take is to be made whole. The risk we take is to be, in a sense, reborn not only in baptism, not only in monastic profession, but reborn each day in the love of Christ reflected in the people we live with. When Saint Benedict said, Make holy the ordinary, the daily things of life, there was such great wisdom and depth to that comment, that request, that challenge, that gift to us, that we sometimes miss it. To make holy our everyday life, which seems and sounds so simple, is very difficult. It's difficult because the routine can become burdensome, the day-to-day activity without change

[91:08]

can become boring unless we bring the gift of Christ to it in our own hearts and lives. It's not boring, it's a gift. It's challenging, and at the same time, it's life-giving, because little or any of our daily life is exactly the same from day to day. Memorizing and being familiar with the Psalms is a treasure. They are much more easily prayed when we can do them from our interior and not just by sight. These are just a few thoughts I've tried to share in the past few days. It was a return to novitiate, in a sense. It was a time to reconsider who and what we are about.

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It would be easy maybe just to refer to the Conferences of Kashin, look at the Rule of the Master, deep monastic spirituality, but in the end we come back to ourselves and the moment in which we find our graced life and how we experience it. So I'd like to close with a hymn of praise Psalm 150. Praise the Lord. Praise God in His sanctuary. Praise Him in His mighty firmament. Praise Him for His mighty deeds. Praise Him according to His surpassing greatness. Praise Him with trumpet sound. Praise Him with lute and harp. Praise Him with tambourine and dance.

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Praise Him with strings and pipe. Praise Him with clanging cymbals. Praise Him with loud clashing cymbals. Let everything that breathes praise the Lord. Praise the Lord. Amen. If you have any comments or suggestions, this was one way that I chose to approach this retreat. I'm open to thoughts, comments, criticism, constructive ideas of what could be done differently, things you liked, things you didn't. I've been a superior off and on for years, so I'm used to 150 people telling me what I should do every day. than who I should do it to except them. Well, thanks be to God for sending him to us and you for coming.

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It's been a long journey to get here and taking time out of your busy life. I have to say, being sober and free time to meditate every day, some of us, that's a long time ago. Reminds us of our early youthful CEO. He covered some of that. And also reminds us of how many of you left some of the boons that were around, around the rock itself. you know, of his walk by bar, doing a similar thing that you say, going back and to recover the first love that's evolved. First love. Yeah, Ben is happy about that. It's something we always remember about. So it's a very hopeful and pleasant visionary moment.

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Great. Thanks again for being with us. and you're staying around no longer. Yes, thank you for having me. I make a few quiet days and so I'm grateful for this opportunity as well. God bless you all. Thank you. Amen. I can take the electric hook off my neck.

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