To tell the truth, I wanted to have one more chance to give a lecture delivered by Yoshida Roshi tonight, but I missed this last chance due to my regret, so instead of her lecture I have to do. It is easy enough to give up one's life or to slice off one's flesh, I'm sorry, this

[01:18]

is trouble which is called Tuesday throat. I don't know why I got this trouble. Every Tuesday night, particularly when I give a lecture, I got the trouble. So someone says it is called Tuesday throat, I'm sorry. It is easy enough to give up one's life or to slice off one's flesh, hands or feet if one feels so inclined. Similarly in worldly affairs, the same things can be done because of an attachment to fame

[02:23]

or profit. But it is difficult to harmonize the mind as it comes into contact with events and things. When students conceive the desire to discard their lives, they should claim their minds, they should calm their minds for a while. They should consider whether what they have to say or do conforms to the truth. If it does, then they should say and do it. Once more again, I will read, it is easy enough to give up one's life or to slice off one's

[03:37]

flesh, hands or feet if one feels so inclined. Similarly in worldly affairs, the same things can be done because of an attachment to fame and profit. But it is difficult to harmonize the mind as it comes into contact with events and things. When students conceive the desire to discard their lives, they should calm their minds for a while. They should consider whether what they have to say or do conforms to the truth. If it does, then they should say and do it. I had one of my friends who was the doctor, who was a doctor for years and knows.

[04:57]

When I discussed about Buddhism with him, sometimes the topics concerned concerning the medical treatment in our day, during discussion, he said a very interesting point. He said, the circle, a circle, he said, sensei, a circle, I forgot the main point before and after what this doctor said about this circle. Anyway, he said, a circle consists of a numberless apexes of triangles.

[06:19]

Do you understand? This is very interesting. The meaning is very simple. The story is very simple. A circle consists of a numberless apexes of a triangle. So at that time, yeah, that's right. But I thought always a circle is a circle. I didn't notice about the circle consisting of a numberless apexes of a triangle. That's right. But as you know so well, the way you try to understand the circle, a circle as it is,

[07:23]

this is a very important point and very difficult point to understand, to catch it, to grasp it. What's the truth of the triangle as a circle as it is? I think the truth of a circle, when you try to understand, is not the idea of a circle consisting of a numberless apexes of a triangle when you analyze it. Nor to consider what the numberless apexes of a triangle is.

[08:40]

So what is the truth of a circle as it is? The truth of the circle as it is is not the idea of a circle consisting of a numberless apexes of a triangle. What is it you just supported? Nor to think, to consider its component factors. In other words, not to analyze the circle. So the truth of the circle is not the idea of a circle nor the number of apexes of a triangle.

[09:58]

So what is it? What's the truth of a triangle? According to maybe Western thinking, I think there is a couple of ways, there are a few ways of understanding of something, object. Particularly according to a dialectic way of understanding. What Hegel consists, Hegel emphasizes, is thesis, antithesis, and synthesis.

[11:00]

It's not necessary to explain about this point because all of you know so well about it. And then, this is one way of understanding of a circle, you know. The truth of the circle. The other one, the second way of understanding is according to the, maybe Kielkegaard, I think so, I don't remember exactly anyway. The way of understanding in dialectic, the dialectic way of understanding in quality. In other words, there is alternative judgment. Alternative judgment is open to your brain, to your brains.

[12:07]

So, you can make a choice, something that you can choose between the two, this or that. The third point is as mentioned, what is mentioned already. The truth of the circle is not the idea of circle. In other words, neither the idea of circle nor the number of apexes of triangle. So, according to this way of understanding, you know, there are two... According to this way of understanding, you can deny both, you know.

[13:15]

The idea of circle or the apexes of triangle. In order to make you try to understand what the triangle, what the circle is, as it is. So, at that time, what to do? What should I do? What should you do? Then, I think when you try to understand the truth of the triangle is like, there is two questions. The implication of the circle, implication of the true aspect of the circle is represented by the two questions. How to receive, how to deal with, how to receive the truth of the triangle, the truth of the circle.

[14:23]

And second is how to deal with it, how to receive. Here is circle, you know, how to receive, how to deal. So, to understand the truth of the circle is not to understand the idea of a circle or not to analyze the number of apexes of triangle. So, how to accept, how to grasp it, how to deal with it. This is question and also this is truth. This is truth of truth which the circle itself inherits. How to, how to receive, how to accept. Then, in Buddhism, this point, this point is called the kien, kien is opportunity, opportunity.

[15:31]

Opportunity especially to, what would you call, to establish a personal relation with something, a circle. When you come into contact with something, you know. Kien, this is opportunity. So, the question is not within, not within the circle itself, not within the idea of the apex, number of apexes of triangle, not within the myself who is trying to understand it. So, where is the truth of the circle? Buddhism says, Shakyamuni Buddha says, it is kie, the opportunity, kien, opportunity to establish the personal relation with the circle itself.

[16:48]

Anyway, so the, in other words, everything, everything that it comes into contact with exists, it stands in the full essence, full essence of revelation, in other words, revelation which means the opportunity, which is opening in front of you, you know, opening in front of you. So, not only the, not only the subject of the circle, you know, but also the same is to be said of any kind of things which you, which you come into contact with, whatever you do, you know, lecture.

[18:05]

So, what's the truth of the lecture is? What is the truth of the lecture, you know, in terms of my opinion? Speakers, other speakers, what's the truth of the lecture? The truth of the lecture is within the speakers? I don't think so. Within the listener? I don't think so. The Buddhism don't attach, don't touch, don't touch to any kind of things. When you try to come, come into contact with anything. So Buddhism says the opportunity. Because each one, each one, the other speaker, which is called category, is completely free, you know that, you know, I am free.

[19:14]

The listener is free, as a listener, is. I cannot, I cannot force you, I cannot force you to stay here, you know. So you are free, as a listener, I am free, as a speaker. So important point is, what is the truth of a listener, of a speaker? The Buddhism doesn't touch, stick to anything, anything. Because it is always changing, flowing in the stream of river, like water. So we have to, that's why Buddhism put emphasis on the opportunity, opportunity.

[20:21]

Opportunity which means, by which everything exists, everything exists in full revelation, in full revelation. This is the key. Then the Dogen Zen says, it is called Zenki. Zenki, Zen is the whole. Key is opportunity. The whole being, the full function, full function of, what would you call, it's pretty difficult, full function of opportunity. Do you understand? Full function. The full essence of opportunity, revelation or manifestation. So everything exists in the domain of full function of, you know, revelations.

[21:22]

As a speaker, as a listener, as a tree, as a grass. Even a tiny flower which blooms, which blooms at the sight of the Lord. We normally pay attention to it. This full function is very important. Full essence of opportunity, full essence of revelation. So, important point is, how to use, how to receive full essence of revelation. How to deal with full essence of revelation, manifestation. By which everything exists as it is.

[22:28]

For this, I think, you know, if you understand this point, you know. When you try to understand the truth of the circle, you know, as it is. Understand the speaker as he is, or listener as he is. You have to understand the whole situation, not only the matter, not only the matter surrounding, about you. Not only the matter of your own, yourself, but also the whole circumstances you have to understand.

[23:39]

In other words, if you understand this point, you have to, you know, care, you have to deal with, you have to receive something carefully. Carefully, with whole heartness, something like that. Very carefully, trying to understand yourself and all circumstances which are around you. So, now we are making the okaesa. Yoshida Roshi explains how to make the okaesa, you know. We try to make the okaesa in complete arrangement of materials, colors, and measurement.

[24:48]

We try to deal with materials or colors or measurement with careful attention, with careful attention. Based on the full function of your brain anyway, full essence, full manifestation of your brains and thoughts, mind and body. Then how to deal with it, how to receive with it. Yoshida Roshi explains how to make the okaesa, you know. This is very important. So, most of students, Zen students, think, oh, I don't want to read the book. I don't want to study. I want to, they want to just sit meditation without studying, without consider himself carefully.

[25:59]

You know, it is something wrong, you know. Because everything has, everything is, everything shows its own full essence of manifestation, reveal. Which means the truth of the circle, truth of yourself. We have to understand this point. For this, we have to deal with something with careful attention, you know. So as not to disturb yourself and also others. This careful attention is very important. So when you try to make an okaesa, the Buddha always concentrating on making okaesa, so as how to make the okaesa.

[27:15]

So as not to disturb himself and also others. In order to improve, in order to improve, in order to cultivate personality, you know. Cultivate the Buddhist practice. For this, we have to understand the situation of your physical body, you know. And the situation of state of your mind, human mind. And then you have to make okaesa. You know. This is practice. This is practice which Buddha put the emphasis on.

[28:21]

And then next moment, then as the next step, you should forget. You should throw away any kind of rule, you know. You should forget, throw away the complete arrangement of materials, colors, and measurement. Then how to accept? Then you chant the name of I take refuge in Buddha. You know, you have to forget this, any kind of rules. What you deal with, what you handle, when you handle something with careful attention. And, you know, during the okaesa class, I always have been, I have been looking at the situation.

[29:49]

Of the okaesa class, of the class, and also the people's situation, student's situation. You know, they, very interesting, I have found, you know, the particular style of the persons and personality which each individual possesses. When you try to do something with cooperation, you know. Someone try to show the type of egolessness, egolessness, or a sign of ego, egoless. Very interesting. I have been looking at the situation of the okaesa class, or people's situation, student's situation, with careful attention.

[31:00]

I think they don't know exactly what they do. You know, when you try to make okaesa, when you join the class, the okaesa class, recently, you see, the Lord said, we have to make, we have to finish, you know, the okaesa, your own okaesa, till the June 3rd. So, please help each other. We don't have enough date, enough time to finish. Of course, each individual must try to make every possible effort to finish his own okaesa, and also others' okaesa, too.

[32:17]

But the students have to forget the help of others' okaesa. For instance, when you write the thesis, on the occasion, on the occasion of graduation from college, you know, the teacher said, deadline is such and such, June 3rd. You have to, you have to concentrate on writing the thesis, from the day, morning to night. This is true. The end of okaesa class, in okaesa class, you see, the Lord said, please make every possible effort to make your own okaesa, and also help others.

[33:25]

Because we don't have enough time. But, you know, this, this is, a couple of days, I found a very interesting event, in the morning, some students, they saw the juban. I think it is all right. I am not to criticize having the class of juban, you know. You have to understand what you are doing now, you know. This is very important. Not only yourself, but also you have to understand others. I don't mean that the juban class is not wrong.

[34:31]

That's okay, you know. That's all right. But, you know, if you have time to make the juban, why don't you concentrate, why don't you try to make every possible effort to finish your own okaesa, and if there is enough time, why don't you help others? I want to tell you this point. Not criticize. So, from this, it means you have to understand the whole situation, you know, not only yourself, but also the whole situation. You have to understand carefully, you know, what you are doing. Then, I think, with the intuitive sense, you understand so well who you are, what the philosophy is, what the zen is, you know.

[35:50]

What the zen center is, you understand so well. But, in order to, when you try to understand the truth of your own, the truth, the true aspect of yourself, of your life, as it is, on the occasion, on the occasion of making okaesa, of joining the making the okaesa class, we are apt to miss something, you know. That's why we need practice and the guidance of the teacher. Teacher says, you should do this, please do this, please do that. You know, one of Japanese calligraphers explained a very important point when you try to practice Japanese calligraphy.

[37:16]

When you try to study the Japanese calligraphy, I think you may study what calligraphy is like through the book. Then, you know, you have some ideas, how to make ink, how to hold a brush. I think, you know, not only I, you think, you know, it is very easy, it is very easy to make ink on ink stone, which is called suzuri in Japanese. With ink stick, ink stone. The ink stone has, ink stone is very flat stone with a dent on which water is kept.

[38:46]

The master of the calligrapher says to you, please make ink. Then, okay, it's pretty easy to make ink. So you pour the water, the pond, which is called, this dent, a dent is called, you know, the dent, a dent part, dent part of ink stone is called the ike, pond. You pour the pond, pour the water into the pond, you know, recklessly, and then you start to rub down, rub down, you know, with the ink stick like this. You think, and not only you, I think so, you know. But when you try, when you want to master the calligraphy, you have to understand how to make ink, you have to understand the situation of the ink stone or ink stick, or the situation of your physical body, situation of your mind.

[40:14]

Before you draw and write the letter. Then we need, we need a practice under the guidance of the teacher of calligrapher. The teacher says, you should make ink in that way, like this, and so on. Then this calligrapher says, he found some very important point, which is a secret point, secret point. The teacher put just a drop of water, not into the pond, you know, flat plate, flat surface, just one, just a drop of the water.

[41:32]

And then he rubbed down, he rubbed down again and again, and the ink, the water is getting sticky, you know, getting sticky. And then he put one more drop of water to thin this thick ink. And then they pushed this ink into the pond with, you know, the ink stick, slowly. Then this calligrapher, they gained enlightenment, something like that.

[42:37]

Like something, they found something like enlightenment, that's right. How to make ink. But actually, there are still very important secret points, more than that, because he doesn't understand, he didn't understand how long, how long he should rub down. And how size, how bigger, how big, how much, how much he should put a drop of water, you know. Even a drop of water depends on the containers, if you use a big container and a big drop of water.

[43:39]

He didn't understand how big size of drop of water should be put on it, or how long he should rub down. Then he tried to practice under the guidance of the teacher to master this point. And then he said, after that, he said, we should forget this way of making ink. At that time, you can't master, you can't master the way of calligraphy. While you stick to the way of making ink, how long I should rub down, 10 minutes?

[44:44]

How many times, how many times, you know, for 10 minutes, you know, they are. It's something like strange, you know. Of course, rule is rule. But if you are tied down at the rule, you can't move an inch, at last. To do something without being tied at the rule, you have to practice under the guidance of the teacher, you know. This is very important. It means to try to understand the whole situation, the whole situation of your life, and also the whole situation of all circumstances.

[45:59]

Then Dogen Zen says, It is easy enough to give up one's life or two slices of one's flesh and hands or feet if one feels so inclined. Similarly, in worldly affairs, the same things can be done because of attachment to fame and profit. But it is difficult to harmonize the mind as it comes into contact with events and things. When students conceive the desire to discard their lives, they should calm their minds for a while. Anyway, calm down, anyway, calm down. And watch over yourself.

[47:10]

What you are doing, what you are doing, what you are doing, they should consider whether what they have to say or do conforms to the truth. If it does, then they should say and do it. So Zen is not to emphasize doing something at random without any attention. You have to handle anything with careful or considerate attention. And then after that, you should forget. In order to forget this careful attention, you need to practice under the guidance of the teacher. Do you understand?

[48:59]

Do you have a question? You don't understand? What is the significance of the circle? The use of the circle? Oh? I think... You shouldn't... In order to understand the circle as it is, you cannot ignore the presence, the presence of the numerous apexes of a triangle. Okay? You cannot ignore the idea of a circle also. Then how to do? How should you do? There is nothing to handle with. But there is just one thing to be left behind you.

[50:09]

This is opportunity. This is opportunity which is represented by the full essence of revelation. By which everything exists. It is called Zenki. His name, Zenki. The whole beings. The whole beings of functions which everything possesses. So, the truth of the circle is represented in the form of the two questions. How to receive? How to handle with it? That's all. There is no question. No. There is no definite definition. No definition.

[51:11]

What to do? You should do this. There is nothing. Then there is only one thing which is open to you. It is the opportunity. It is opportunity. You have to deal with this opportunity. When you do Zazen, the bliss enlightenment, you think of what enlightenment is.

[52:13]

What is Zazen? Who you are. Even though you continue to think who you are, what Zazen is like, constantly there is no definition. Definition, what Zazen is, who you are. But you can reach, you can reach, you can reach nearer to the goal. It seems enlightenment, it seems the complete explanation of Zazen, the complete explanation of who you are. Yes, this is I. But the moment just before you try to catch it, it's gone. Completely nothing. Nothing to respond.

[53:31]

Respond. Who you are, what Zazen is like. Then always you ask yourself what Zazen is. Who you are, who I am. This question is very important. So when you try, when everybody is busy doing something, with doing something, when the people run, you have to run. Don't walk. When the people walk with calmness, you try to walk with calmness.

[54:35]

Even though at that time you don't understand exactly why I have to walk, you say, oh, I am busy, you know. So when you join the Okesa class, you try to understand the present situation which is going on moment after moment. You have to understand the situation of the Okesa class. Whole situation. Okesa class, whole situation of yourself. And then do your best to accomplish, to be successful in doing something. This is very important. So everybody, all students are very busy finishing the Okesa, their own Okesa.

[55:43]

So if you have time, if you have enough time, time to help the others after finishing making your own Okesa, why don't you help the others instead of making your own juban? Anytime you can make a juban, but Okesa class is, it is very difficult to have the Okesa class anyway. I'd like to give another opinion about the juban class. And that's that it's, this class has been going on for a long time, and Oksan is the teacher in it.

[56:49]

No, I am not, what I mean is not to criticize, to criticize, okay? I just want to give this other opinion on it. And the class is not a class on just making juban, but a whole different way of sewing. And I feel like those of us who are able to come in and to work on the case have been doing so. But there is a limit to how much you can do without becoming fatigued and becoming careless in the work. And working five hours a day is a long time and you have to be continually working at the same small thing. Yeah, that's a good idea. Okay. Sensei, why didn't you join the juban class? Hmm? Why didn't you join the juban class? No, I didn't. Pardon me, I asked why not. Why not? Like the students were all running. There is no reason. There is no reason why I have to respond to this, you know?

[57:54]

Because, you know, the complete essence, the full essence of determination, in other words, determination is not within the deep consideration or narrow consideration. In other words, you should do it. That's all. You should, in the domain of just doing, at this point, do you think there is some amount of discussion why you don't join the juban class or okesa class? Why don't you join the okesa class? Do you have a reason, some reason? Yes, I didn't understand it. I don't understand my life in terms of doing what the group does,

[58:59]

you know, seeing everyone run. I don't understand my life. I want to do too much of what I want to do. I want to walk, then I want to run, and vice versa. But you say the importance of joining the group even if you want to do it different. You want to practice, you know, one virtue of helping others, but you also say you should just do what everyone's doing even if you want to do something different. I don't understand what you mean. I mean, you said we should. If they're walking and we're in a hurry, we should walk anyway. Okay. You've got something to do, it's sew the rope and help others sew the rope. But you see everybody else is doing something different. They're all sewing the rope. Why don't you just join them even if you want to do something different?

[60:00]

Individuals have very different situations, moment after moment, okay? You have your own situation. You know, students who join the Okesa class have their own situation, which is called joining the Okesa class, you know? You should understand yourself while you are joining the Okesa class. That's all. Don't look around, you know. I mean, when the people run, you must run. It means that, okay? Don't look around. When you look around, you have lots of questions. Why? Of course I understand. May I ask a different question? You say not to look around, but didn't you just explain that you looked around

[61:01]

to understand the kind of whole picture of what the people were doing? When you watched everybody's practice, how they saw and how their personality is just like they saw. But you say not to look around because you come up with too many questions. For example, you came up with the question, why the Qigong class? That's already, you know, what you said is already in the introspective process, you know. You said something like that. But when you jump into the water, you know, jump into the ocean, and also, unfortunately, you can't swim. Can you consider the look around? Do you have enough time to look around? No, I don't think so. The Shakyamuni Buddha says, when someone hits the poison arrow,

[62:04]

immediately someone tries to pull it off. You say, oh, just a minute. Do you think you try to understand what the kind of poison is? Or who hit me? He shoot me. I think there is no amount of discussion, you know. Individuals have completely different situations and styles. You have to understand this point. And then, nevertheless, there is a place. There is a place where you can cooperate with people. You know? When you understand your own situation based on the completely different, you know, at that time you can be free, you know.

[63:09]

For instance, you look like a fish in the water. While you don't understand who you are, I am not a fish, you know. I don't like water. You can't swim, you know. You can't, you can't see. The important point is you have to understand yourself based on the completely different situation, moment after moment. Now your situation, you are listening to the lecture. But spiritually speaking, the situation of your mind is very different, you know, moment after moment. You have to understand this point, not only physically, viewpoint. Spiritual viewpoint, you have to understand this. And then, and then you have to, you have to, you know, stand up, stand up right in the middle of your own situation

[64:15]

without looking around, without looking around. The truth to stand up is to understand whole being of yourself. In other words, the idea of wholeness, Zen Buddhism says, the idea of wholeness, which you cannot never be totalized, totalized. And summed up, you cannot. This is whole, this is just to it. I mean, then, in no particular way were you recommending, I misunderstood, I thought you were recommending to like examine what the others are doing and to evaluate it. See, like you looked around and saw them. In order, you know, you talked about two ways of experiencing the circle. And I thought you were saying like to look around at what other people were doing and to evaluate it was similar to understanding the circle being apexes.

[65:18]

And that you had to do that. First important point is to accept straightforwardly your own situation right now, right here. Okay? And then if you, through this actual practice, you understand what, what you are doing. And then you will, it comes, it comes to understand the, its component factors of the circle, you know. Oh yes, circle, it consists of numerous apexes of triumph. Then you understand carefully, you know. Do you mean that if you just saw, and you just repeat the, taking harm in the Buddha, you will understand the whole situation without having to actually look? Yup. Okay. That's right. This is important.

[66:19]

This is the, the absolute place. The absolute place where you are free. You are free. Okay? Jane? Don't misunderstand, okay? Okay. Okay. I'm sorry, good. But that's just an example. That you understand how, how much careful attention, how much you deal with something carefully.

[67:24]

Okay? This is another example because Yoshida Roshi started a new orchestra yesterday. Three, three more days are left. How can you finish making this orchestra? But he did, she did. Let's start. She did, you know, she does now. Nevertheless, even though she, she bled, you know. She bled at her nose. She started. Because she understands the whole situation, you know.

[68:27]

Even if there is anyone, even one person who cannot make, finish, make no kesa, you know. So as to attend, you know, the sermon, special sermon. She tried that. We try that, not only she. We have to understand this effort. Right. Right. Let's say at the same time I feel sick. I'm working, I'm also sick, you know.

[69:32]

Working and sick? Yeah, let's say I don't feel so good, I'm sick. That's just a small understanding. It seems like this possibility or conflicting understanding, conflicting, conflicting understandings of the same situation. In other words, one would say to continue work because that's what I'm doing. The other would say to stop work because you're sick. So sick itself is not something wrong, okay. So it's not necessary to stick to a task, to stick to the idea of sickness too much. But when you're sick, appears, you have to take care of sick, okay. That's the question.

[70:45]

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