This last line or two is just like the universal dedication in the Lotus Sutra. Someone sent me a message of some experience of difficulty with the Lotus Sutra. In particular, the Lotus Sutra seeming to say that if you doubt the Lotus Sutra, terrible things will come into your life. I think I've said many times before that I find and I trust that everything in the universe is questionable.

[01:17]

I'm questionable. And I believe that calling me into question is part of the Buddha way. and calling myself into question, but also all of you calling me into question is part of the Buddha. I believe that questioning, or, you know, when I say I believe, I mean I'm trying it out. I'm trying it out. That questioning the Lotus Sutra and questioning myself and being questioned by you, and questioning myself, that this questioning process is the eternal life of the Tathagata. This questioning process, this questioning and challenging the Lotus Sutra,

[02:29]

is the eternal life of the Buddha. It's a way to keep Buddha's wisdom alive. Questioning Buddha's wisdom, being not possessive of it, going beyond it, leaping free of it, is the way to keep it alive. Respectfully questioning and respectfully challenging the authority of the scriptures, the authority of the teachers, the authority of the sangha. So if you see the appearance of the sutra saying, don't question this sutra, I'm here to question it. We sometimes use the word great doubt in Zen, but great doubt means deep questioning. means probing deeply into our life.

[03:38]

That's my understanding and I'm trying to practice that. Also this questioning and being questioned is an essential ingredient of the practice of face-to-face transmission, an essential pivot in the practice of only a Buddha together with a Buddha. So it is necessary at the heart of understanding reality. understanding reality is enacted by mutual questions, challenging, meeting.

[04:45]

In the chapter on the Sealed Stupa, where the sutra tells us that Buddha, in order to make it possible to open up the sutra and see the ancient Buddha, in order to see the ancient Buddhas, and I would add although the sutra doesn't say this, in order to see the eternal Buddha. We need to invite our embodiments. We need to invite the way we're embodied throughout the entire universe. So in the chapter, Shakyamuni Buddha understood that he needed to invite all

[05:56]

her embodiments from all over the universe. In other words, in other words, our body is embodied. Our Buddha body, our true body is embodied throughout the universe. And is embodied as us. And this mutual, reciprocal embodiment of each of us with the whole universe is believable, ungraspable, and it is reality. And so there is a chapter in the Treasury of True Dharma Eye called Only a Buddha and a Buddha.

[07:07]

And in that chapter, a number of Zen teachers echo this teaching from the Lotus Sutra. They don't say they're quoting the Lotus Sutra. They have their own way of saying it. For example, the universe is the true body of the self. Each of us is the entire universe in the unique form of our body and mind. We include the whole universe, and we are included in the whole universe. And this mutual inclusion, I suggest, is the eternal body of And this mutual assistance is harmonious.

[08:12]

It is unhindered, unstuck, free to be celebrated. And it is the mutual inclusion of all phenomenal things It is the mutual inclusion of skill and means and one Buddha vehicle. It is the skillful means of all the different skillful means. It is the mutual inclusion of all aspects of all things. Following from this understanding, inspired by the Lotus Sutra, the students of the Lotus Sutra, like Dogen Zenji and Tore Zenji, following from this inspiration, we can further say that taking care of our provisional practices

[09:42]

is precisely taking care of the one vehicle. And taking care of the one Buddha vehicle is to take care of our particular body and mind, practicing particular phenomenal practices, conventional practices, provisional practices, temporary expedience, all these practices embody the one Buddha vehicle, and the one Buddha vehicle embody practices. And this is one of the hard things, most and most difficult things to accept and understand, how of our skillful means, how us working with our own expedient practices and working with our own study of the one Buddha vehicle is as transforming others, helping others work with

[11:09]

and practice with expedient means and ultimate truths. I've heard from many people that they can experience, or they can believe, accept, and have some understanding of how they're working with their practices and their study of ultimate truth is beneficial and encouraging for their life. but they're troubled that may not reach or be of any help to others. How does it reach others? We can't really see it, it's imperceptible.

[12:13]

However, since our nature since it's natural for us to include all beings, it doesn't really reach them. They're already included in our practice. So yeah, to see how does our work on ourselves affect others, but it's the same thing. We have this expression, inquiry and response come up together. Or call and response come up together. How are you today? The response to that question is at the same time as the question. So it's hard to see the response . And how you are today is how are you today?

[13:27]

Life is a self and life is other. Others are self. The whole universe in 10 directions is our true human body. Could say, I mean, I could say my life is others. My life is a self and my life is others. Life is this and it is also otherwise. My life is just this and it is otherwise.

[14:37]

My life is otherwise and my life is just this. But again, we can take away the word my and just say life is this, life is just this, and also otherwise. My life is self and my life is otherwise. So our famous instruction from the ancestor Yunyan to His disciple Dung Shan, when they were about to part, was just this is it. But another fuller understanding of that would be just this self is it, just this person is it. That's the teaching.

[15:43]

And finally, as Dung Shan walked with this teaching for about 150 miles, he saw just this person is it, And just this person as it is otherwise. This is the free turning of our true body. Not being caught by our true body. Not being caught by self or others. So the Lotus Sutra, which was a sutra, as I've said over and over, filled with unprecedented teachings, this is another perhaps unprecedented teaching that our true body, true body of life is the entire universe. And the entire universe is the true body.

[16:51]

Perhaps we cannot find this teaching before the Lotus Sutra. The creative energy of the universe produced this sutra which gave these strange creative improvisations on the earlier tradition along with kind of lots of trouble came along with it. along with this creative outburst, with this sutra cracking through the surface of the earth. Lots of earth fragments flew around and are causing us stress and challenge, and I feel called to meet the challenge and challenge back. Generously, respectfully, gently, enthusiastically, wholeheartedly, meet with compassionate challenge.

[18:03]

When we're turned, meet it and turn it. When we're turning, let ourselves be turned. At the very beginning, we can awaken to our own being by teaching and being taught by others. Teaching and being taught, helped by others, we will awaken to our true being. And nothing's more difficult than this face-to-face transmission of a Buddha whose body is embodied throughout the universe with a Buddha who is the embodiment of the whole universe.

[19:16]

And as many of you know, on the appearance, on the revelation of this stupa and the revelation of this ancient Buddha who has come to witness the truth of Shakyamuni Buddha's teaching of the Lotus Sutra and also to listen to the Lotus Sutra, We have chapter 12 in which Devadatta, who Buddha, is revealed or is seen in new ways. We see that this person who tried to kill the Buddha actually also was kind to the Buddha and passed.

[20:58]

Because of his kindness, Buddha was able to realize Buddhahood. The Buddha is deeply grateful to Devadatta, and the Buddha can see that even Devadatta, a person who attempted to kill the Buddha, . And then also in that chapter, Someone asked Manjushri if anyone can be enlightened instantly. And Manjushri reveals that yes, there is someone. And the someone is a princess, a reptile princess. And this reptile, this naga princess,

[22:01]

Manjushri tells us, has been practicing so deeply Buddha's wisdom that she can be instantly and perfectly awakened. So the Buddha, excellent penetrating wisdom, sat on the verge of perfect awakening for ten eons. She sat, on the verge of perfect awakening for one instant. She stood in the Great Assembly for one instant, and the Buddha Dharma appeared to her. And she became a Buddha. just like the wonderful great penetrating wisdom Tathagata did.

[23:11]

But many of us are more like that Tathagata, that we are sitting for ten eons gazing at a tree. And that Buddha is perfectly happy to do this practice of sitting, gazing at a tree for ten eons on the verge of enlightenment. joyfully sitting there. The dragon, the reptile princess, however, eight years old, by the way, the young reptilian female, she sat joyfully for one instant and demonstrated the realization, the same realization as the great Tathagata in the ancient past. young female reptile is in the present of the greatest lotus assembly. And then in the next chapter, which is sometimes translated as upholding the dharma or perseverance or steadfastness, which refers to

[24:27]

steadfastly persevering in caring for the Dharma of the Buddhas in the midst of the great challenges of this world that we're living. The Buddha said, in the future after I leave, there will be really evil times. And I often remember the word evil is live backwards. Now we live in times where people are living backwards, it seems. So challenging, so horrifying, so traumatic. So who wants to commit to take care of this dharma under such difficult circumstances and back at the time of the sutra, things were difficult, and two nuns who were closely related to the Buddha came forth and said that they would joyfully take on the challenge and vow to take on the challenge of upholding and caring for this precious Dharma, which the Buddhas protect.

[25:48]

The Buddhas protect this Dharma. They also join the Buddhas to protect this Dharma. and teach it to bodhisattvas and keep it in mind. And they were predicted. Mahaprajnapati was predicted to be a Buddha by the Buddha. This is his mother. His mother, after his After his biological mother died, she cared for the baby Buddha. And now he predicts his dear mother to be a Buddha. And Yashodhara, his former wife, he predicts her also to be a Buddha. In the remainder of the Lotus Sutra, there will be more assurances given and there will be more entrustment of the Dharma.

[27:15]

The Lotus Sutra is about life, reproduction of life. It is about our true life, which is how we are embodied in the whole universe and vice versa. It's about how we are included in all beings and included in us. And we are entrusted to take care of this dharma and practice it and remember it. Keep it in mind like the Buddhas keep it in mind. Not only is everybody our future Buddhahood, everybody is their future Buddhahood too. Not only is everyone a future Buddha, they are our future Buddhahood. So, I haven't talked so long this morning.

[28:34]

So maybe I have time to say a little bit more, something a little bit philosophical and intellectual, if you're ready for it. Are you? I see some people nodding. Just let me change the view here. Is the Great Assembly ready for something philosophical? I see a lot of heads nodding, okay. So here we go. I didn't see everybody nod, but may I go ahead with something? So I'd like to talk about the relationship between this is my view, which resonates with some other people's views maybe, but I'm not representing them right now. I'm not representing, if I am fine, but I'm not saying I am. What I'd like to say, this is my view, is that these wonderful sutras, which are called Prajnaparamita Sutras, the Heart Sutra, which almost all you know, the Diamond Sutra, which many of you know, and then many, many other sutras,

[30:01]

I'd like to talk about the relationship between those sutras, those wonderful sutras, and the Lotus Sutra. May I? A scent there, thank you. So I don't remember, I do remember when I started studying the Lotus Sutra, and I told you about that. It was in the fall of 1968. Because I heard Suzuki Roshi was going to come to Tassajara, had already was teaching this sutra at Tassajara. I was not at Tassajara yet. I was at the city center, which wasn't, I wasn't, we didn't have a city center at that time. We had a temple called, which was used by Japanese Americans and non-Japanese Americans so I'm like a non-Japanese American and I practiced Zazen at that temple Sokoji and I lived across the street and I heard about Suzuki Roshi teaching the Lotus Sutra at Tassahara and

[31:27]

and that he was going to continue in the winter, and I was intending to go to Asahara. So I started to study the Lotus Sutra, and as I told you, I did not force myself to study it. So when I lost my enthusiasm, I closed it and opened some other books which I was enthusiastic about, like Zen books. And I practiced zazen. I was enthusiastic about walls and floors. I studied floors and walls, no problem. And I didn't force myself to study the floor. I wanted to. So I started studying the Lotus Sutra, but I hadn't yet really started to study the Prajnaparamitas. And a Buddha has not come to me. and told me that actually I'd been studying the Prajnaparamita for many lifetimes.

[32:29]

All I could see was in my present life I had not yet studied. But in 1969, I received a copy of the English translation by the great Edward Kansa. English translation of the Prajnaparamita in 8,000 lines. And I started. And yeah, it's about, you know, elaborate, wonderful elucidation of the relationship between emptiness and conditional existence, conventional existence. between emptiness and all skill and means. And from that time on, the young Zen student went back and forth between the Lotus Sutra and the Abhidharma Sutra, which the Heart Sutra talks about, and the Prajnaparamita, back and forth between Prajnaparamita and Lotus Sutra.

[33:50]

And I still go back and forth between these two types of Mahayana sutras. And I noticed that in the Lotus Sutra, the discussion of emptiness does not occur very often and is not elaborate. However, when I first discovered in the Lotus Sutra, it took me a long time to find it. the references to emptiness in the Lotus Sutra, I was happy and relieved because I was wondering, well, where is the... How can it be a Mahayana Sutra if there's no discussion of emptiness? Because the Mahayana is a deep understanding of emptiness. Emptiness in the Lotus Sutra, well, I found it, but it's a different treatment. It's not so literally... Present? It is, of course.

[34:51]

In every word, there's emptiness. All the words of the Lotus Sutra are marked by emptiness, but the word and the doctrine is not fully as developed in the Lotus Sutra as it is even in the Heart Sutra, in a way, not to mention these larger sutras. So my understanding is that the Lotus Sutra completely agrees with the Prajnaparamita, that emptiness is the ultimate truth, and that emptiness is identical with conventional truth. They agree, in my understanding. Today, They agree that form comes from feeling.

[36:01]

They agree that nirvana is not different from samsara. They agree that the Buddha's realm, the Buddha's pure land is itself the world of samsaric suffering and vice versa. Where they seem to differ is in the way they treat samsara, the way that they relate to skill and means and phenomenal dharmas, phenomenal events. the prajnaparamita seem a little bit negative about samsara.

[37:15]

Even though they, even though it is identical to nirvana, there's still a little bit of negativity about it or yeah the sutra seemed to suggest which is lotus sutra doesn't agree with it but this it doesn't the lotus sutra doesn't go into this very much that these all phenomenal events all of our feelings and our emotions and our opinions all of our suffering and joy gee Our emptiness, our illusions are like space. At the end of the Diamond Sutra it says, regard all events, all conventional truths, regard them as like dreams.

[38:29]

as bubbles, as phantoms, as illusions, as dew, as flashes of lightning. But the Lotus Sutra while totally recognizing and affirming that all phenomenal events are empty of own being, celebrates them. The lotus agree that all phenomenal events are dreams, but then the lotus dreams about the dreams. It has a party with the dreams. It dreams upon dreams upon dreams within dreams on top of dreams with dreams.

[39:34]

The Lotus Sutra enthusiastically embraces and practices art, artistically weaves the patterns of spring into the ancient brocade. of illusion and shows how to skillfully be with it and not be caught by it. It totally plunges with great joy and celebrates delusion and thereby not being caught by it. It doesn't end delusion. It doesn't escape samsara.

[40:36]

It is great art with samsara. As I've often mentioned in the last few years, I finally finished reading by Marcel Proust, which is called Remembrance of Lost Time. And we could kind of keep, an alternative title could be Remembrance of Wasting Time. Since students are told, don't waste time. So Marcel Proust wrote this thousand page novel of remembering about how he wasted time.

[41:44]

What a diluted, you know, brilliantly diluted person he was for the first, I guess, 37 years of his life, avoiding his artwork. and just losing time. And then he writes this book telling us about all the ways he wasted time. He practices confession and repentance of wasting time. And this sets up, you know, this massive setup to get the joke of the book. Because the book, this great work of art, is basically a huge remembrance of wasting time.

[42:48]

That the work of art is nothing but remembering wasting time. Without wasting time, there would be no masterpiece. And the last chapter is basically recovery from being fooled. And I know Woody Allen has become a very controversial figure now, but he's pretty good at remembering the time he wastes. He's pretty good at remembering what a fool he is. And at the end of Remembrance of Lost Time, I really felt, yeah, Proust is like Woody Allen, or Woody Allen is a reincarnation of Proust. Dealing with how we waste time. Like, you know, every time we go to a restaurant, we waste time. We're not there.

[43:49]

We're just wasting time. But that's the content. Remembering that. The Lotus Sutra is ironic and funny. The Prajnaparamita, I don't know, it's not so funny. It's wonderfully shocking. Do you get the joke of this idea that we're wasting time? And if you don't, write a book about it. until you understand that we're not wasting time. Because we are the embodiment of the entire universe, and we are embodied in the entire universe. You can't waste that. But you can think you do, and that is the embodiment of the entire universe.

[44:53]

So again, I'm now feeling like there's a difference between the and the Prajnaparamita Sutras. They agree. They don't really disagree. They serve different purposes. One shows our life is like space. The other show and everything in it is like a dream. And the other one says, yes, and let's work with these dreams with our whole heart. Let's work with these dreams with the whole universe. Let's work with these dreams with the eternal body of the Tathagata. We bodhisattvas have both the Prajnaparamita literature and the Lotus Sutra. They go very well together. And students of the Lotus Sutra We students of the Lotus Sutra, if we are, would do well to study the prajna too.

[46:01]

The two together are a wonderful family affair. So that's my little intellectual, philosophical... I hope you enjoyed it. It's just my view, right? I'm not trying to prove it. I mean, I'm not trying to prove it in the sense of proving that it's true. I'm trying to prove it by practicing it. That's the way I'm trying to prove it. And I'm enjoying proving it by practice. And it inspires me to practice with everything. No exceptions, including wasting my time. If I ever waste time, guess what?

[47:07]

It's material from my novel. Now, I maybe have crossed the line of having said enough. And now I invite the Great Assembly to make offerings to the jewel stupa, to make offerings to the truth, to make offerings to the whole universe. We have an offering from Jean. Hello, beloved teacher.

[48:15]

Welcome, Jean. Other teachers. Welcome, Jean. May I speak for you? Welcome, Jean. I'm working with my study of the Buddha way. And can you please tell me why Do you trust or did you trust your teacher, Suzuki Roshi? Well, again, I often say that for me, trust was a little bit like making a bet. So, and I often say the first thing I saw was feet.

[49:21]

I was sitting looking at the floor in the zendo of Sokoji temple and he walked by and I was sitting on the floor looking at the floor and he walked by. I didn't look up at his face, shoulders or his hands. I didn't look, I just kept looking at the floor. And what did I see? I saw his feet. And I thought, you know, I thought, I can practice with those feet. Or teach me Zen. I thought that. I came to Zen Center because I had been studying with brilliant teachers intellectuals and scientists at the University of Minnesota, and I really appreciated them. But they weren't, I didn't feel like they were body. And I wanted a body teacher, not just a mind teacher.

[50:24]

I wanted a body mind teacher, a teacher that really taught with her body. And when I saw those feet, I bet on those feet. I bet I'll practice Zen with those feet. So causes and conditions made me see in those feet something to bet on. But I did. That came up in me. So that faith to study with those feet, I didn't make it. It was a gift to me. And then after that period of meditation was over, each of us went and met the teacher as we left the meditation hall. He had this ritual that he did when we left of standing by the door and we would meet him and he would join his palms together, we would join our palms together and bow to each other.

[51:31]

And in my case, I did that, but I also looked at his face. So now I got to see his face. I didn't think, oh, I can practice with this face. I looked at the face, and when I did, he looked away. And then I passed by, and I thought, More or less instantly, I thought, was I not supposed to look at him? Was he afraid of me? Did I insult him? Was he playing coy? Was he playing hard to get? Was I disrespectful? Many possibilities that rose in my mind. And then I thought, I don't know what happened just now. in that meeting. So I trusted his feet, and then I trusted, the trust came to me.

[52:39]

But now I say, the trust came to me. Faith came to me. That's the way it should be when you meet a Zen teacher. You should not know what actually is happening. You should realize that you don't really know what's going on. And nobody told me that before. I was given that. They're trying to get it. I was given the faith and I was given that idea that when you meet a teacher, it's really appropriate that you don't know what just happened. And also, I didn't get this part then, but it's appropriate that the teacher doesn't know what happened either. She doesn't know when she looks away. She doesn't know if she's afraid. She doesn't know if you're afraid of her. She is also afraid. not knowing what's going on, but together we do know what's going on. We're meeting, we're bowing, and we're looking away, inspired to continue to practice.

[53:43]

So I don't know how that happened, but it does sometimes, and yeah. And then looking back, what a wonderful, great gift that was to my life to meet that teacher To feel that, yes, this is what I want. And one more example, which again, many of you have heard gazillions of times, was, so that was in like the fall of 1968. But then, yeah, maybe in the spring of 69, no, no. Yeah, sometime in the spring of 69, after I returned from my first practice period, I heard him give a talk at Sokoji. And he said in that talk, I'm not enlightened. Okay?

[54:47]

And I had already said, these feet can teach me Zen. And not knowing what's going on with this person and me seems appropriate. And he said, but I thought, okay, you're not enlightened. I can still practice with you. And you still seem like the best teacher I've met so far, even though, I'm sorry, you're not enlightened. I don't think I said that, but anyway, I was a little. It was a little embarrassing. Oh, I've come to practice with a Zen teacher who's not enlightened. Okay. Then I think the next week or soon after that, he gave another talk and he said, I'm Buddha. And I think I thought, okay, this is more like it. But really, you know, those are just dreams, which I'm celebrating right now with you.

[55:51]

And I don't know where they come from, but they're important and they're wonderful. If these feelings and trust that you found It did come to you. If it comes to you and then mistreats you, or you doubt it, or you find that your inner truth is diverging from your teacher, What do you do? Well, that's what I said at the beginning.

[56:56]

What I vowed to do is challenge it. But challenge it in the spirit of this challenging of the teacher. This disagreeing with the teacher and offering my disagreement as a gift. This is a mission. Because right now I disagree with the teacher. I'm bothered by the teacher. I have a problem. I think the teacher was wrong. You know, on and on you can go. But I say, question it. I doubt the teacher. And sometimes come to me and they tell me, I doubt you. They say it to me. I doubt you. I don't trust you, they say. But I think, and I sometimes say, this is great that you come and meet me and tell me you don't trust me. That's the practice, is to show yourself who doesn't agree with the teacher and tell the teacher, if you can, I don't agree with you, I doubt you, I don't respect you.

[58:14]

However, when they tell me they don't respect me, pretty respectful of them to tell me. And maybe they can be more fully respectful in telling me, but I really feel like that takes courage and faith in expressing yourself to do that. So sometimes people might say in public with other people watching, I don't respect you. And those people might be horrified, but I want to stand by that person and say, yes, Respectfully tell me you don't respect me if you don't. And many people don't respect me, and that's good for me to receive gratefully. And it's good for them to offer me that if they do it respectfully. I don't deserve the respect, but I am just questionable. If I don't deserve it, it's good for people to practice it.

[59:24]

And it's respectful to tell somebody, to find a way to tell people that you don't respect. It's good, especially if they invited you to tell them that, and I'm inviting you to tell me that. So you're bringing up what I was trying to address at the beginning of our meeting today. Many people have trouble with teachers, and teachings. People are having a lot of trouble with the Lotus Sutra. And to express your difficulties is the Lotus Sutra, I think. Over and over, the Buddha does this, these things happen, these people have doubts. Over and over it says they have doubts, they don't know what's going on. And actually the Buddha doesn't want to push it too far. If people aren't, and the Buddha says, don't teach this sutra openly, The Lotus Sutra is out of the box. We have to deal with it. Maybe it should have been kept secret, but my secret loves no secret anymore.

[60:31]

Now I shout it from the highest hill. Even tell the golden daffodils. Secret loves no secret anymore. So now we got trouble with Lotus Sutra. And I'm I want to keep studying it with you and support you to deal with this troublesome sutra. And also I want to support you to deal with all your troublesome teachers. People also come into, not just with me, but with their other teachers. And I support them to go back and meet those teachers and tell them the problem. Save those lousy teachers. Save those deluded teachers. Let's go save them. Come on. Deluded teachers. Those unskillful teachers. They need help. They're calling for help. Let's go help them. Hello. Want some feedback? I hear you saying.

[61:36]

That the magic is probably, I don't know, maybe not the right word, but the magic is in the meeting. The magic is in the meeting and not even exactly in the meeting. It is the meeting. That's where the magic, that's where the magical wisdom, which understands magic and uses it appropriately. Hopefully. Yeah. In the meeting, that's where it is anyway. It's in there somewhere. Do you have any questions? No, but I do have some gratitude to express to you. Thank you so much. Thank you. Not everybody who asks questions, asks questions.

[62:40]

The offerings are not questions, right? They're just expressions of gratitude. So you can express gratitude. You can express problems. You can express questions. The thing is to, like Suzuki Roshi said, in Doksan, you show yourself. You expose yourself. So what you're offering, and please offer it. even though when you offer yourself, it might destroy all the teachings that I've offered. That's okay. I'm ready for that. We have an offering from Reverend Anna Thorne. I can see you.

[63:41]

Good morning, Greg, and good morning to the assembly. Good evening in Frankfurt, where I am here. For me, this whole event, I rather, as an event, all these meetings, that come up with you and your teaching of the sutra, it feels very strongly like a soothing medicine, like a remedy in this turmoil of pandemic that I'm living in also. This morning, for example, I was in the center of the city of Frankfurt and was totally dead. There was nobody. Even the lights were off in the shops. We have this lockdown situation and I think our response to the pandemic has been the social distancing and this masking and controlling all our movements and being

[64:52]

I think transformed by it also this, I would call it like an exaggeration of fear, like working on the fear all the time by watching all the numbers all the time. And so now I feel I get like unwound or unweaved from this dream a little bit. opened up in a beautiful way. And what came to mind for me is like this unprecedented turmoil or reality that we deal with right now is really unprecedented teaching because this unprecedentedness of life really comes to comes out of the box with a Lotus Sutra. And I've never experienced it like this before.

[65:57]

It's really surprising how this whole online situation works itself out. So, I have, yeah, I have the The inclination to also have this thinking samsara is the difficult and the Buddha way, the enlightenment is, you know, what you said about the Prajnaparamita Sutra, the slight distance looking down on samsara. That's This is something that I work with also, and so this is touching on this kind of discriminating piece, practicing and looking at Dharma.

[67:05]

So this is, yeah, this is it for now. Do you have any response? Yeah, one thing that comes up for me is that in these dangerous times, when we're surrounded by potential illness and also other people's potential illness, many people all over the world are accepting of being very careful and respectful of distance and be respectful of the protocols. And this is a kind of ethics practice that the whole world is doing. I mean, are doing this practice. Many people have accepted this is the time to be very careful and pay attention to little details.

[68:10]

Like what kind of mask do you wear? How long do you use it? Where do you use it? And it's not necessarily that much fun to put it on. But we're many, many millions, billions of people are actually practicing the precepts of the pandemic together. And by practicing this carefully, we're ready. for the wondrous teachings of the Lotus Sutra. We're ready to be creative with our turmoil. We're careful so we can be creative with all these horrors. We cannot be caught by them because we're willing to practice ethics. And we will discover in the careful practice the wild freedom of wisdom.

[69:16]

The wildness of wisdom is right in the middle of the highly disciplined care. I think that's exactly the piece that is encouraging to me and enlivening to me. The discipline is kind of It's not so difficult. But the grasping of the discipline or the exaggeration of the fear or all those kind of getting stuck points, they get smoothed or soothed. this involvement. Yeah. And if the teaching helps us smooth the discipline, then the discipline even supports more reception of the teaching. The discipline supports the wisdom practice of the sutras, supports the samadhi of the sutras.

[70:23]

And the sutra helps the discipline not get stuck so it can more fully support our study. Our study without discipline just doesn't work very well. But we're studying discipline, being more wholehearted, and then we can study even better. So that's what came to my mind while you were talking. Thank you, Anna. Thank you so much for doing this. Thank you so much. And, of course, in Germany, like in many states, people are protesting against these precepts, right? That's part of the challenge of this world, how to respect the protesters, whatever kind of protesters they are. Thank you, Anna. We have an offering from Bajra.

[71:29]

Hello, Reb. Hello. Hello, great assembly. I would be nervous because we've spoken a few times during this pandemic by this magic of Zoom. But I'm nervous, actually, as many people confessed. But I want to thank you for mentioning Proust because I'm a big Proust fan. And I'm also glad about the topic related to the question I wanted to ask. And basically, yeah, I really appreciate how you've foregrounded this sort of mutual creative process of meeting and interacting. And you mentioned early on that some people feel comfortable creating and being created with some situations and not in others. And I feel very comfortable, you know, being created by, at first I thought maybe I often resist this sort of aspect of being created at all.

[72:35]

But then I realized I'm usually comfortable with being created by books, for example, or the sky or a tree or something like that. But often with other people, I feel very sort of hampered and hindered in my ability to I don't know what exactly, but I just feel that way. And I wonder if you have any advice about that. What do you think I'm going to say, Vajra? Well, you'll probably say be compassionate with that sensation of injuredness. And be generous with it. It's a gift to you. It's your growing edge. And be careful of it. Don't deny it. Don't try to kill it. Yeah, it's dangerous because you want to protect the other people.

[73:38]

You don't want to use it. You don't want to, if you act literally or something, you end up harming other people, right? Or isolating yourself or something like this. Yeah, well, it's, yeah, be careful of the danger. But if you don't welcome the danger, if you don't welcome the danger, then it's like behind you and then you become a robot. And if you get it out in front, you can meet it with compassion and be free of it. Or be free with it anyway, yeah. Yeah, be with it. Well, first of all, you can't be free of it if you're not with it. And compassion practices help us be with it. situations, dangerous impulses, dangerous attitudes, dangerous feelings, feelings of, you know, dangerous feelings. And then our compassion grows on these dangerous things. Like the lotus grows in, it grows in the mud of dangerous, difficult situations.

[74:48]

And again, One Zen master said just before he died, the boat of compassion is not rowed over pure waters. Yeah, I think... Go ahead. I was going to say, as many people have also expressed their self in this feeling that if we're having challenges, that means we're doing something wrong, right? Which, of course, that means actually that we're engaging the practice if we're having challenges. Yeah. I'm here to beat the drum of having trouble is not something wrong. It's an opportunity. But it's also a danger. And we also often cite the Chinese compound of two characters. One is danger and the other is opportunity. And the two together are crisis or turning point. We're always in a turning point between

[75:50]

the opportunity of our difficulties and the danger of them. And I don't know what it is to touch the difficulty and it's dangerous to turn away. I don't know which is worse, but they're both not our way. Our way is to neither touch or turn away, but to be completely wholehearted with it. hearted isn't touch and of course it's not push away this is our train what we're training at these are real opportunities and real dangers or i should say these are opportunities and dangers which we can celebrate and be creative with and that's the lotus sutras gift how to be dangerous how to be dangerous and diligent with the danger and careful and respectful.

[76:53]

Honest. I think for me, I sometimes have some trouble with this instruction of not touching. I wonder if, so I'm glad you mentioned it so that I can ask, which is sometimes in my mind, I translate it more as like to hold them lightly or something, or not grasp them. In terms of acknowledging or being with is OK, but not touching yeah well appropriate to touch the origin as you know is like don't touching because it's like a massive fire but i think that it doesn't mean like acknowledging or respecting respecting is a kind of touching but when you respect something you don't attach to it Like some people like their teachers a lot and attach to them. That's not really respecting your teacher. This is a little bit self-praise, but anyway.

[78:01]

I put myself in a place where he could see me if he wanted to tell me anything. I sat in the zendo where he could see me. I assigned myself a room where he would walk by my door. And if he wanted me to do anything, like fix his TV or change a light bulb, I was there. He knew where I was and he could ask me and he saw that I was available to him. But there was another sad student at Zen Center who also wanted to be available to him. Turned that into like standing outside Satsangarishi's door. lurking there that was too much that was not good and Suzuki Roshi's wife had to tell that person to go away all the time but she appreciated that someone was available and she could go find them if she needed help but she didn't want people lurking outside her door who loved Suzuki Roshi but in a way wanted to devour him and possess him that was not respectful

[79:13]

Very sad. He was just like me, except he wasn't respectful of Suzuki Roshi's space. He didn't wait for the call. That's touching. The way from Suzuki Roshi or the Buddha, that's not good either. They're both off. And then there's another thing in that same text by Dung Shan, after turning away and touching both wrong, it's like, if you're excited, it becomes a pitfall. If you get excited about this meeting, then you fall into a pit. But also, if you hesitate, you're sorry, I missed my chance. There's so many movies about people who miss their chance. This wonderful opportunity, I missed it. And then you think about missing it and you miss some more. Buddha's lifespan is eternal, right?

[80:22]

So even if we miss the chance... Exactly. Luckily. And again, all those missed chances are Proust's book. He retrospected on all his missed chances and made it into a great work of art. So even though... But... If you hesitate, you're lost in retrospective hesitation, but it also says, and I'm making a poem out of that. Telling you about this is my artwork, Deng Xiaon says. There's no eternal damnation, but there is an eternal opportunity to practice with all of our missed opportunities and tell people about it. all the times we missed, like I told you about sleeping through my special lecture. All these missed chances are the grist for our art.

[81:26]

And if there's any a time when we don't miss a chance, we can use that too, but be careful. Hey, I wanna tell you about a time I didn't miss. Be careful. Are you bragging? That's like all those personal liberations, those personal awakenings. I awoke. I didn't miss a moment. Oh, really? That's very good. You're really good. And that's touching. Okay. I think it relates to this issue also that you mentioned earlier of the touching the surface is the same as touching the depths. This is another thing I was thinking of asking about. This thing of how we work with something that's beyond our perception and this faith that the jewel is coming in, even when we're unconscious of it. And that we can only work with this thing that we can't actually perceive, can't actually know, can't actually grasp, and yet... And we work with it by working with what we can perceive, but we know, we understand what we're doing.

[82:33]

We're practicing skill and means. We're doing a temporary practice on the surface. Zhaozhou said, the great master Zhaozhou said, I only have surface. And he so only had surface that he was walking on the bottom of the deepest ocean. depth in the way he took care of the surface. And he did not touch the surface. Because that's all he was. He was just a surface. I'm just Mr. Superficial. Or I'm Ms. Superficial. Maybe this is an opportunity to look at the genius of being superficial. Yeah, right. He was so courageously superficial. Yes. Most of us can't stand or dare to be that superficial.

[83:38]

I'm working on it. May it be so, Vajra. Thank you. You look pretty superficial. You're doing pretty well. Pretty flat on this screen, anyway. Thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, I've been meaning to show you something. I'll be right back. I'm gonna show you some calligraphy. you

[84:58]

Failure. I failed again. I've been wanting to show it to you, but I'll look for it and bring it maybe next time. Another offering, please. We have an offering from Priya. Hello. Thank you. Thank you. Hello. Priya. And thank you, Great Assembly. And I realize I don't know how to call you. I don't want to call you only Red. I don't know why. And... You can call me Rabbi. Thank you, Rabbi. Like Rabbi, right? Like... So many questions came and left. And I realized, taking my hand off and on.

[87:02]

And then you said, don't miss it. And I don't know what I don't want to miss, but I don't want to miss that. Probably the feeling I feel now. Yes. So my question is that during this three weeks, it was a journey. I cried a lot. I felt a lot. I was sitting and I had few moments that I felt like, so like space in my chest and connection and everybody in the assembly looked so beautiful. Congratulations. But they didn't stay. Thank you. And then I work with people. And that day that I felt that one of the women that I met looked so beautiful.

[88:10]

And other days I see her pain. And I see her judgment of herself. But they look different. Hmm. And then it's not always like that, right? Today it's coming and going. It's moments that before that I don't remember the name of a woman I spoke and I felt and with you and then at the moment maybe my mind is coming, I'm trying to see, I'm trying to understand or Is it the thought that are coming and blocking me? But it's really like I feel different in my chest. Suddenly it's closing. Now I feel energy. But this is my question. Like to accept it, to release it, don't think about it. Or if I need to do something to stay in this state of openness or

[89:16]

that I feel now. When fear comes, if we can be with it and open it, or I should say if we can be open with it and kind to it, the beauty is right there in it, it will be revealed. The beauty of the creation of this thing, even a terrible thing, will be revealed. But that beauty is fleeting. And if we try to hold on to it, it doesn't get more fleeting.

[90:31]

It just kind of makes a little sticking point in taking care of the next moment in such a way that the next revelation of beauty will come forth. So that's kind of missing a chance. We see the beauty. And then, rather than go, because it is naturally fleeting, the beauty, the truth appearing as beauty is fleeting. The truth is not fleeting. But its beautiful appearance to us, coming to us, is fleeting. If we then hold on, we're not going to be ready to be with the next moment and the next revelation. So that's what we're trying to learn. to be with things so that their truth and beauty can be revealed and then to train so that we don't hold on to that so we're ready for the next so the space between revelations is increased or is created actually by holding on to revelation there's not really a space between them

[91:57]

But if we cling, it's like there can be a space between the last revelation of beauty and truth, or truth as beauty. Yes, when we're clinging, we're not here. And this is my challenge, especially in the assembly, I felt so much. But then I'm coming back to my husband and children, and I see how sometimes the fear is coming, not allowing me to love and to be open. And then sadness is coming. In a way, I feel... Yeah, sorry, you wanted to say something. You're right. I do. A little bit of different perspective is... It's not the fear that prevents us. It's not embracing the fear. We'll miss the point.

[93:01]

And with people we live with, are you a mother? Yeah. So mothers are given the gift of fear about their children a lot. They're afraid of anything harmful happening to their children. They don't want anything... have any pain, not a scratch on their beautiful cheek. And so the fear comes that they might be hurt or harmed. This is a gift to you. That doesn't prevent you. That's an opportunity for you to practice with that fear. And your children, that fear comes so naturally because you're so close to them. You're so close that it's almost like enmity. So that is the opportunity. And it's so intense. It's very difficult in very close relationships.

[94:03]

You get so much fear coming. Like, again, me and Suzuki Roshi, I was close to him, so I was at a distance. Nobody was afraid of Suzuki Roshi, probably. Everybody thought, oh, he's this great. But you get close to this wonderful teacher. Oh, my God, he's giving me his full attention. Yikes. That's the opportunity. Can I be with the fear of being with the people I most want to be close to? It's really hard. So, you know, these people in the assembly are not bearing down on us too much. If they did, we'd get scared. Fear wouldn't be the problem. That's a natural response in our process. The problem is not to embrace and sustain the fear. It's the same as with the Dharma. Embrace and sustain the Dharma. But sometimes the Dharma is the... The Dharma and your children, very closely related.

[95:06]

This is my practice. Yeah. Yeah. Mine too. I want to thank you. Your practice is my practice. We have an offering from Eric. Hello, Red. Hello, Eric. Hello, Great Assembly. Hello, Eric. I had a really couple nights ago. And a lot happened in the dream.

[96:09]

It was kind of nonstop action. but it stayed with me because there was this feeling of everything being a complete catastrophe. And I was dreaming about Zen monastery actually, and also parts of the world, but there was this feeling in my body that This is all... Yeah, it's going to end horribly, basically. And the dream dramatized the terrible nature of various worldly outcomes. And I don't think I often can think about that or intellectualize that, but

[97:13]

This dream helped me really feel like deep terror, especially around climate change. Kind of like other people saying like the mix of online and real life or the same, the same life, all these conflagration of events. And it, it landed in my body in this really terrifying way. Same time, the dream. had an unbelievable beauty and confidence and beauty. It was really, I could see all of the characters, all the people in this dream as really sincere, wholehearted. And as you were talking about the Lotus Sutra versus these Wisdom Sutras, Yeah, I really appreciated how you drew out the kind of extension or the evolution of seeing the emptiness, seeing the illusory nature of the dream.

[98:33]

But I think I would often, I don't know if I necessarily allow the nature of events in my life or relationships in my life to fully permeate my body, which it felt like it somehow unlocked an embrace of it at the same time. It allowed me to love them more fully in my dream. And that creative process, I woke from the dream and I felt I felt so charged with, with expression. It's like wanting to, uh, speak and share, but like later that night, I've been working on some music in the pandemic. And, um, when I, when I have a creative intention, somehow the way I build it up, um,

[99:36]

can make it easier to waste time. It seems like I can feel creative in everyday life and more playful, but then when I set up this creative opportunity or this creative intention, and I'm gonna do this creative thing, then to meet with more internal resistance, maybe because it feels like a big mountain. It feels like the aspiration is so high that I can never meet that. So, yeah, I appreciate what you said about wasting time. The intention to make art makes wasting time more noticeable. Or possible. Or possible. Since you're an artist, you can waste a lot of time. The opportunity to do your art, then you can see, oh, I'm wasting time.

[100:48]

But you wouldn't see it. You might not see it if you didn't set up the opportunity. And other people have Zendos. They go in the Zendo and discover They don't want to use this time right now. They want to be doing something else. So we set it up to work with this dynamic, this ironic nature of human life. So it's nice to be creative in your daily life. That's fine. But you maybe need to set up some special situation to notice that you're wasting time. And the situation you set up to notice you're wasting time is a situation of, now I'm not going to waste time. I find I waste more time when there's screens and more opportunities in front of me. How do you relate to emails and screens in a way that

[101:56]

That feels like a zendo. Where I don't even notice that I'm wasting time. And then after hours. Well, if by any chance you stop noticing that you're wasting time, then you just did it. You confessed it. That you feel like you wasted time. Did it. And are you somewhat sorry that that story happened? I am. Yeah. So that melts away the root of this thing called wasting time so that you can more and more include wasting time. But you have to confess and repent as part of that process. There's a lot of confessing. I feel like I have this romanticism maybe partly with my time at the Zen Center.

[102:58]

Right. Screens, you have all this, you know, you set up the practice plates in a way that there are less opportunities for branching off. And so I guess I'm just trying to integrate that. Well, again, as I just said, you set up the opportunity of going into the Zendo and where it's set up, you don't have to do anything but sit at your seat and then you notice that it's a natural tendency of your mind to branch off. And if you don't set up that situation where nobody's asking you to branch off, you don't notice it. So that's one setup. The other setup is you're branching off and you remember that you're in a zendo and that the branching off is what you're working on. Limit the situation so that branching off is clearly not being required.

[104:05]

You're not being asked to branch off. Nobody's asking you to do anything but dealing with what's happening and you notice that you deal with everything but what's happening. The other is you don't have a structure. And then over the place. And then you remember that all this branching off is actually who you are. There's no branching off. So these two aspects can be integrated. And you realize that branching off is the material of our life. And there isn't really any branching off. And our life with no branching off is manifesting branching off all day long. But setting up a situation where you're clear nobody's asking you to do that, you find you are. You're welcome.

[105:10]

Thank you. Yeah, so these screens, I get to see your face. I haven't seen it for a while. I hope to see you in analog. I'd like to see in person too. I do get to see people in person, but they're wearing masks. Yeah, I was running above your house recently. I called down to you, but I don't think you heard it. I didn't hear you. No, louder next time, please. What's that thunder in the sky? Oh, it's Eric. We have an offering from Lisa Lota. I don't know if I said that right. Lisa Long? Pretty good. Pretty good.

[106:11]

Lisa Lata. It's quite good, Brendan. Thank you. Yes. Beloved teacher and great assembly. Hello, Lisa Lata. I must like to first thank you very much for these things. Very, very valuable. Different format this year, but I think the very best that can happen right now. When I was listening to the previous... I recognized myself in several of them. And I thought, yes, yes. And so we'll see what comes.

[107:18]

It's a different intensive this year. As I'm at home, I'm working at the same time. quite different in the days. We start at six o'clock in the evening. And so I work in the day. I actually get up and sit with the Berlin people in the morning and then work and then finish off in time for starting at six o'clock. And so it gives me a lot of practice of integration. Great. Even though working right now, I work mostly from home and with the screen, meeting people over the days. But I find that the integration, it's a quicker process in this format.

[108:31]

So the first week, I felt quite unsettled, and it took a week or so to settle down, and now I find that over the last week and a half or so, it's very helpful, very, very helpful, because I can take some of the teaching back, and integrate in the day-to-day life that I live. And I feel that I get a lot of inspiration. So first I'd like to confess that I've been tired nodding off. I also like to confess that I see how easily my thinking or my way of perceiving set up the difference or the separation between myself and others.

[109:51]

I maintain this. in my thinking. And it's a habit. I would suggest a reframing that you don't maintain this way of thinking. It's maintained by your body and your past that way. Since you have seen things that way before, which you didn't make yourself see, now there's a tendency for this to come up again. But you don't actually do it. But you're there for this problem. But, you know, you're responsible for it, even though you don't control it. But you can be with it. And you are with it. Yeah, well, the response of seeing this is that... I have an inspiration to be respectful to the people.

[111:01]

And respectful of that appearance of difference. Yeah. Even though you can see it causes stress or it comes with stress. But be respectful of it and the stress and the people. And also it helps you be respectful of the people. Yeah. My sense also is that this process of separation seemed to be fueled by me not fully accepting other people or other ways. Kind of a wish of holding on to be different.

[112:02]

Yeah. And again, in the past when we weren't fully accepting, that led to the creation of the appearance of separation again. So that's why it's given to us from our If we fully respect things, we become free of the sense of separation, and that undermines the production of the separation in a way that we're caught by. So in the present, by respecting others, you set yourself up to be not fooled by the sense of separation in the future. Could you repeat what you said the sentence before, not the last, the second last? Okay.

[113:04]

As you said, when we don't fully respect others, that becomes a condition for separation in the future. And fully respecting others then becomes being fooled by the appearance of separation in the future. That might have been what I said. I don't know. I will re-listen. Currently, I feel an aspiration of wanting to be respectful to people around me, regardless if they have different opinions or things that seems different for me. Yay.

[114:08]

I think that's the full of that. I had one other thing. And it's about expressing myself. I think I tend to be more quiet and try to be as I can not to express things in a charged way, which means that I often don't say anything. And now I've started to question myself in that way. Maybe it's better to practice and let some charged things come rather than trying to be so sure so I don't even try.

[115:19]

It's good to have somebody you can talk to where you feel that you could tell them about the charge. But it's good to acknowledge the charge. If you're going to talk, it's good to get the charge out. Then we maybe can work with further communication. But even if you don't, just exposing the charge is a good communication. And by admitting the charge, beings are protected. And you could even say, you know, although I don't make the charge, I'm kind of sorry that it's here, because it is. I just want to tell you about the charge. When people tell us that they're nervous, they're telling us about a charge. Hmm. And that's already a really good gift.

[116:26]

But then once you acknowledge the charge, you may be able to say the thing, which if you said it before you acknowledged the charge, it might disturb people, might disturb the harmony or postpone the harmony. But when I show people my shortcoming of having a charge or not being able to harmonize, now we're starting to harmonize without getting rid of the charge. So I would say, requested to learn this. Because, yeah, I don't know what you might say after you acknowledge the charge, but that's already something which I'm requesting you to learn to do. Carefully. I think I'm concerned about that I will express things with a charge, not earning the charge, and wanting things to go my way.

[117:39]

Another charge. Wanting things to go my way is a charge. Hmm. It's like a positive charge on things going my way and a negative charge on them going another way. So I'm requesting that you acknowledge the charges. And you don't have to say anything more than that. That tells people about the situation and you. And they may not even ask you to tell them what the charge is about. I would say thank you at least a lot. I didn't know you had a charge on having things go your way. You're sitting there quietly wanting things to go your way. And in a way, it's not hurting anybody because you're not saying anything. But in a way, it's missing a great opportunity. So again, once again, you are being requested to reveal this information. And I'm not requesting for you to speak and skip over your charge.

[118:40]

You need to do that. Matter of fact, I think I would ask you maybe don't do that anymore. Honor your charge and maybe even tell people about it. And then that may be at the end, or you may say, now that I've honored, now that I've told you I want things to go this way, now that I told you that I, my way, now I'm going to like to, would you like to hear about my way? And they might say, no, thank you, but thanks for letting us know that you have a way and you wanted it to go that way. That's really helpful. Keep our eye on it. But sometimes they might say, yeah, go ahead, tell us. Now that you've told us you have a charge, thanks. And you might even say, and the charge went away when I told you, but it might still be there. So they're going to watch, and you are too. But if you don't tell them, then you tell them something, but all they feel is the charge. They don't even know what you said. because they just feel the charge. Because that's like physical.

[119:43]

It strikes their body. But if you put it out in the open, share it, we can work with it. And that may be more important than whatever you wanted, just to connect around this charge. And they might say, well, I got some charges too around some things. Please work on that. The thought that came up when you started to talk about this was that not all environments are as welcoming as this one. No. That's why in some environments I would have to work quite a while even to get the opportunity to tell people I have a charge. But I recommend doing the groundwork in some situations where I don't feel the conditions are ready for people that, for me to tell people what's going on with me to explore the possibility of, would they like to know something about me and also explore the possibility of telling them that actually I would like to know something about them.

[120:58]

You know, some things about you. If I was. And that might set the ground for me to say, would you like to hear about something I'd like to do? And they might say, okay. But without that preparation, in some cases, people are not ready for you to tell them something pretty intimate. That you're feeling a charge about something that you think is important. And you can think things are important with or without charge. But often there's charge, so keep an eye out for it. I will. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you, everyone. Thank you. That's all the time we have for offerings today.

[121:59]

Thank you, Great Assembly. Oh, did we talk to the Great Assembly about the last day today? Yes, we made an announcement. I'll reiterate it for those of you who weren't here when I made the announcement. We are thinking about having a three-hour session of on Friday. So if you have any problem or difficulty with that, please send me an email so we can consider it. And I will encourage us to take a break in that three-hour period. Yeah, let's take a break. Thank you, Brendan. Thank you, Greg. Thank you, Buddhas and Bodhisattvas. Thank you. May our intention equally extend to every being in place with the true merit of Buddha as well. Beings are numberless. I vow to save them.

[123:05]

Afflictions are inexhaustible. I vow to cut through. Dharma gates are boundless. I vow to master them. Buddha way is unsurpassable. I vow to become it.

[123:22]

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