Do I tell stories to encourage the comprehension of the world as a question? Do I tell stories to encourage sentient beings to comprehend the world as a question? Yes, I do. Once upon a time we were born of the dance with the world. But not yet being fully enlightened, we were afraid. So we told stories about the dance in order to make sense of it, in hopes that we could grasp it and assuage our fear.

[01:13]

Now this is done, and here we are. If we don't comprehend this world, as a question, and we don't learn and understand these stories, the world, the whole, is harmed and afflicted. If we do, however, study this world, and study the stories through which we see it, then the light of the world will illuminate us and we can work to relieve affliction.

[02:27]

I didn't tell you that story for you to believe it. I told that story to encourage us to see the world, to understand the world as a big question. the manifestation of the goddess for this practice period, one of the manifestations of the goddess for this practice period said, I must tell my wonderful young students that life, that the life of the self is the life of intense inward experience. she must encourage her wonderful young students to turn the light around and shine it back so they can see their light.

[03:50]

The light's coming in our eyes all the time, but we have to turn it around and shine it on something so we can see our light. The messenger of the goddess says, they have been taught not to credit their own, not to credit or even enjoy their own brilliance. It seems to me that they have been taught not to credit or enjoy their own light. So when they hear about light, it seems very strange. that we should be talking about light. Is someone trying to distract people from discovering the pleasures of their own light?

[05:08]

And to persuade them that basic humanity is an experience closed to them Once upon a time, the Buddha emitted from the Dharma wheels on the soles of his feet A hundred billion light beams.

[06:21]

Billions of light beams beaming from his souls. One hundred billion. illuminating this hundred billion world universe with its four hundred billion continents, hundred billion oceans, hundred billion surrounding mountain ranges, hundred billion enlightening beings born, hundred billion enlightening beings leaving home, hundred billion Buddhas realizing true enlightenment, hundred billion Buddhas teaching, hundred billion Buddhas passing away. On and on these light beams illuminated and everything therein was clearly manifest

[07:37]

My intention in reading you this story was not that you would believe it or disbelieve it, but that you would question it and understand it, that you would understand about the Buddha's beaming feet illuminating worlds. I don't really want us to believe this world that we see here or disbelieve it. I want us to question it and understand it. When I say not believing it, I don't mean not falling for it. I mean believing that it's not worthy to believe.

[09:11]

So if you don't believe this world in a sense of disbelieving it, you may just get depressed, not being able to join the storytelling projects. But I also don't want you to believe these stories. I want you to question them. I want to join you questioning them so we'll understand and accept the light of our own mind, which is called Vairocana Buddha. In this place where Buddha was emitting light from his feet, illuminating hundreds of billions of worlds, the world-honored one, the Buddha, was sitting on a lotus lion throne surrounded by as many enlightening beings as atoms in 10,000 Buddha lands.

[10:28]

Oops, just 10. Just 10 Buddha lands. so also sat the hundred billion Buddhas in the hundred billion continents. In each case, because of the spiritual force of the Buddhas, in each of the ten directions was an enlightening being, each with a company of as many enlightening beings as in ten Buddha lands. All these enlightening beings came to the Buddha, came to all the ten billion Buddhas. They have wonderful names, and the first on the list is Manjushri. Splendor and light.

[11:31]

And then Manjushri, in all these hundred billion worlds, in the presence of each of the Buddhas, all spoke up simultaneously in verse. And they said, if any see the truly awakened one, as becoming liberated and divorced from tates and not attached to the world, they have not realized the I of the way. Wait a minute, that doesn't sound so bad.

[12:46]

Why should that be not realizing the way? If any see the Buddha as becoming liberated and divorced from taints and not attached to any world, they have not realized the I of the way. But aren't Buddhas liberated and aren't they not attached to the world? Haven't they studied the world and understood it and thereby been free of attachment to it? Haven't they said that that's what happened for them once upon a time? So if we see them that way, how come we have not realized the way? If any know the Buddha's substance and form have no existence, and by cultivating realized clear understanding, such people will soon be Buddhas who can see this world

[14:10]

unstirred in mind and liberate Buddha's body will realize, excuse me, who can see this world unstirred in mind and likewise Buddha's body will attain supreme knowledge. If regarding the Buddha and truth one understands that they are equal, having no thought of duality, one will walk on the inconceivable ground. If one sees Buddha and oneself resting in equality, without abode, entering nowhere,

[15:13]

one will become one of the gang. Form and feeling have no seats, nor do conception, action, consciousness. Any who know this way will become great sages, whether mundane or transmundane views, having seen beyond them all, while we abide to know the truth, one becomes a great illuminate. If towards omniscience one engenders dedication, seeing without origination, one will realize a great name, the greatest name.

[16:18]

Living beings have no birth nor either any decay. If one understands such knowledge as this, one will realize the unexcelled way. In one, understanding infinity. Within infinity, one. Realizing their origin is interdependent, one will attain fearlessness. Then these light beams kept swirling around doing all kinds of amazing shows.

[17:45]

And then the Manjushris in all those lands of illumination, in the presence of their Buddhas, all simultaneously spoke out, saying in verse, sentient beings lack wisdom. Wounded and poisoned by thorns of craving, for their sake we seek awakening. Such is the way of all Buddhas. Seeing all things, giving up extremes, once enlightened, never regressing. They turn the inconceivable wheel of Dharma for inconceivable eons, cultivating various practices vigorously in order to illuminate and liberate beings. This is the power of the great sages.

[18:52]

The guide conquers demons bravely and invincibly, preaching subtle truths in his light because of kind compassion. By knowledge and wisdom breaking the barriers of affliction, in an instant seeing all, this is the spiritual power of the Buddhas. beating the drum of the teaching, awakening all lands in ten directions, making all turn towards enlightenment. The independent power of the Buddha can act like this. Without breaking the infinite boundaries

[20:12]

traveling through the billions of lands without attachment to any existence. Such is the freedom of the Buddhas. The Buddhas are like space, ultimately forever pure. Those who rejoice in remembering this will fulfill all their vows. In each and every one of the hells, they pass innumerable eons in order to liberate sentient beings. They're able to bear the pains without begrudging body or life. Always preserving the Buddha's teachings with egoless mind, harmonious, they can attain the Buddha way. The light beams keep moving on.

[21:21]

The light never stops, passing through worlds, illuminating lands in all directions. All things are engaged in Buddha activity and illuminating and emanating great light. There's light in heaven, there's light in hell. It's the light of our Buddha activity. Speaking to you from the Zen Center ICU, I wanted to tell you that I kind of misremembered the first sentence of Don Quixote.

[23:01]

Does anybody have any reading glasses on? Is this a Buddha mudra? Is this a Buddha Muda or a rabbit? I can't see you, but you can see me. Chapter 1, which treats the quality and the way of life of the famous knight, Don Quixote de la Mancha.

[24:07]

In a certain village in La Mancha, I do not wish to name, there lived not long ago a gentleman, one of those who have always a lance in the rack and an ancient shield, a lean hack, and a greyhound for coursing. His habitual diet consisted of a stew, more beef than mutton, of hash most nights, boiled bones on Saturday, lentils on Friday, and a young pigeon on a Sunday treat. On this, he spent three-quarters of his income. The rest of it went to a fine cloth doublet, velvet breeches, and slippers for holidays.

[25:20]

and a homespun suit of the best in which he decked himself on weekdays. His household consisted of a housekeeper of rather more than 40. Oh, there it is. The housekeeper was rather more important. He won't tell us how old the housekeeper is. That's the thing. That's enough to get John Berryman totally freaked. wherever you are. A niece, not yet twenty, and a lad for the fields and market, who saddled his horse and wielded his pruning hook. Our gentleman was verging on fifty. How old are you?

[26:27]

I'm verging on 70. No, you're not. Yes, I am. Of tough constitution, lean-bodied, thin-faced, a great early riser, and lover of hunting. After 338 pages of adventures in English translation, Don Quixote somehow got himself in a situation of being in an inn with a princess and a number of gentlemen.

[27:35]

And under the supervision of Don Fernando, the innkeeper had taken considerable pains to provide the best supper he could for his guests. So when the time came, they all sat together at a long refractory table, for there was not a round or square one in the inn. they gave the most important seat to Don Quixote, though he repeatedly declined it. He asked the lady Mikomi Kona, who's a princess, to sit beside him since he was her protector. Next, Lucinda and Zoraida in their places.

[28:43]

And opposite them, Don Fernando Cardinio, besides them, the newcomer, and the rest of the gentlemen. Next to the ladies, the priest and the barber. So they ate their supper with great pleasure, which grew still greater when they saw Don Quixote leave off eating, moved by the same spirit that had prompted him that had prompted his long speech when he supped with the goat herds when they saw Don Quixote prepare to address them. And he said, Most truly, gentlemen, if the matter be deeply considered, great and most extraordinary are the experiences of those who profess the order of knight-errantry.

[29:54]

And then later he says, away with those who say that letters have more advantage than arms. And later he says, the end and object of learning, and I am not speaking now of theology, whose goal is to guide souls on the way to heaven, for no other aim can be compared to the purpose so infinite as that. I am speaking of the humanities, of learning the humanities, whose aim is to maintain impartial justice, to give every person his rights, to make good laws, and to see that they are kept. This is certainly a lofty and generous aim and highly praiseworthy.

[31:02]

though not so much so as the profession of arms, whose aim and object is peace, the greatest good which humans can desire in this life. For the first good news the world and mankind received was proclaimed by the angels on the night which was our day. When they sang in the sky, Glory to God in the highest and peace on earth to men of good will. I often heard it as glory to God in the highest and peace on earth and good will towards men. That sounds good too, but this is peace to men of good will, peace to men of good intention, peace to men and women of good karma.

[32:26]

Peace to those who understand their will. Peace to those who see the light of their will in each moment. So Don Quixote said. And the greeting which the best master on earth or in heaven taught his favored disciples to give when they entered a house was, Peace be to this house. And many other times he would say, My peace I give unto you. My peace I leave with you. Peace be with you. You are the light of the world. which given and bequeathed by such a hand was a jewel and a treasure, indeed such a jewel that there can be no happiness on earth or in heaven without it.

[33:44]

The jewel of peace. This peace is the true aim of war. For arms and war are all one. Admitting then this truth, that the aims of war are peace, and that thereby it excels the art of letters, let me now come to the bodily hardships of the scholar, and of the man whose profession is arms and see which is greater. Don Quixote pursued this discourse so rationally and such well-chosen language that none of his hearers could possibly take him for a madman.

[34:51]

Just them. On the contrary, as most of them were gentlemen connected with the profession of arms, they listened with great pleasure as he went on speaking. When Bajang went up into the hall, there was always an old man listening to the teaching, and then he dispersed with the crowd.

[36:15]

One day he didn't leave. And after some time, Bajang asked him, who is it standing there? The old man said, in antiquity, in this time, in antiquity, in the time of the ancient Buddha Kashyapa, I lived on this mountain. I was the head monk, like you. A student asked me, does the greatly cultivated person still fall into cause and effect or not? I answered him, she does not fall into cause and effect. And I fell into a wild fox body for 500 lives. Now I ask the teacher to turn a word on my behalf. This story that I am telling you, there's a story about it, that it's an old story, more than a thousand years old.

[38:00]

Not two thousand years old, though. That's the story. It's a story about two Bajongs. Both these people are Bajong. Bajong I and Bajong II. Bajong I answered a question in a certain way and fell into a fox body and asked Bajong II, After five hundred lifetimes, ask baijiang number two to turn a word for him so that he could be liberated. Is the old man always listening?

[39:03]

Are you baijiang one? Are you baijiang two? Are you both baijongs? Does the story of the baijongs have something to do with you? You do understand what it means to turn a word. That's what it means to turn a word. Want to try again? Go ahead, try again. Actually, I want to tell you that if you want to talk to me, take a walk.

[40:13]

Take a walk on the boardwalk, as my grandson says. Pardon? Take a walk on the wild side and bite for $400. $400. Is there anything anyone would like to express? Now this, see these wires? See the wires?

[41:25]

Now this could be considered a mess, or it could be considered macrame. I could feel like I'm in this ICU, or I could feel like ICU. Do you understand? Good. It could be a leash. Or it could be an un-leash. That's the turning word. Laughter Anything else today?

[42:33]

Someone told you you couldn't dance? Your father told you he couldn't dance? Oh, he didn't tell you you weren't, he told you you weren't allowed to dance. Is that it? No, he caught me once and he told me I couldn't. I mean, he forbid you to dance rather than he told you you didn't have the ability. Well, I think I took it all as a story that I couldn't, didn't have the ability. You weren't allowed to and you didn't have the ability. But I dropped that story quite a long time ago. Oh, good for you. But I have a pretty sad story that happened because I feel like I've kind of been this old man probably three or four times in my life. And one was I was born into kind of a weird incarnation of

[44:05]

That's how I've kind of looked at it, that I was, when I was very young, was left abandoned with my twin sibling. And we were sort of left to kind of starve in a way. I mean, we weren't being fed, and we both got very ill and almost died. But it's kind of interesting because Even though that was happening, I kind of felt like I was meeting Buddha at the same time. I mean, I didn't really understand what was going on, but there was a light that was hovering around me, even though I was wet and hungry. And interestingly enough, another incarnation came, and some people came and swept me out of that situation with my twin sibling. And it was kind of a loving situation, but I ended up kind of hanging on to that story.

[45:10]

I couldn't quite let go of the story of what happened, but it was kind of confusing. I would kind of come in and out of the story. The story of abandonment? Of abandonment, being wet and hungry. But at the same time, there were these Buddhas that adopted me that came in. And actually, even as a young child, they tried to explain to me what happened. Would you like to address the other people instead of just me? So, story number two, they came in and they were very loving as Buddhas. But there was a lot of You can dance. You can dance. But still, there was a lot of kind of hanging on to this old story.

[46:10]

Even though the Buddhas were meeting me, I still kind of wanted to hang on to this old story. And as time went on, probably when I was about 18, I met another Buddha after I left my family. And so I kind of became a kind of a different carnation came on at that time, but still I didn't particularly want to meet the Buddha head on. And There was a lot of playing with conditions because of the situation, what Rob was talking about. I was playing on conditions of conditions of conditions because there was a lot of protecting this very intimate story that I felt happened to me as a young child. Can I make this other story a little shorter?

[47:13]

I ended up meeting different Buddhas in my life. I feel like I've met three or four. And probably about seven years ago, I decided to come face-to-face with Buddha and to... just let the story of the childhood, which I had faced a little bit, but it was always kind of going in and out of it and trying to protect so intimately, I decided to face it head on. And so I ended up going sort of through a period of my life where I cried a lot. Very sad. So it was sort of, I've heard you talk about this, the lubrication to let go of the story. But at the same time, I felt like I was also trying to get very intimate with this self that I had so much attached to this little kid. And So over probably a period of about a year, I just spent time in my little cabin up in Marshall just meditating and being with this story and getting as intimate as possible as I could get with this story, which meant crying and crying and crying and sitting with it and sitting with it.

[48:33]

it was sort of an interesting sort of process, because I would have these times where then I finally felt like I was meeting Buddha, and I felt like I had support of the Sangha here, even though I wasn't coming here much at the time, but also just the support of Bodhisattva, Buddha's, just tons of support. And I By getting very intimate with this story, I felt like I was able to drop it pretty completely. And a lot of it had to do with definitely just shining the light that I felt as this child, that I felt like I was originally given, which was probably given to me many, many, many eons ago. Surrendering to that light and surrendering the self that I had so intimately throughout my life in a way tried to protect, I was able to drop this story.

[49:38]

And I think because of the conditions upon conditions, there's been habits that were formed out of holding on to that story that I wanted to protect for a really long time because I was very ashamed of that little thing, that beautiful being that I was ashamed of. So because of trying to protect and hide that story, one of the main reasons why I'm coming up here, because I'd like to, even though it feels kind of Christian to me, and that's kind of a story, but I would like to confess and repent. Anybody that, sometimes my actions were harmful to people, including people that love me, because I was trying to protect this story so much. And I would like to use this as an opportunity to confess and repent. anybody that I may have hurt, and to just drop that karma.

[50:42]

So I'm asking that and giving that to everyone here and thanking you for your support. Good morning. Good morning. I have a story. Speak up. I have a story that was presented to me somewhat in a form of a question that I was not able to answer. And I felt inspired to ask you, knowing it will be recorded, and that the person that asked me will hear it. Are you willing? I'm not sure what you're saying.

[51:47]

Maybe you could go forward. We'll see if I'm willing. Okay. This is a story that my father, who asked to talk to me about, and it's a story of his life and the circumstances of what's taking place now. the difficulty he's facing and trying to understand why he doesn't see it in a different way. And the story of my father that he gave to me and the story that I believe is that he is a man who spent his life studying philosophy, the teachings of Western philosophy, and in that studying the teaching of Socrates. And there is the teaching of Socrates, from Socrates, of facing great loss and death with equanimity.

[52:48]

And there is also, I think, a story of the Buddha in this way, where Socrates was coming to the end of his life. He was asked to kill himself. And his students said, you must leave, you should leave. And he stayed and took the poison with equanimity. And his students, some felt equanimity and some did not. And to those that did not, he reproached them and said, This is the teaching. I'm totally butchering it, but I've taught you to see in a certain way. How is it that you still hold on? And I think there's a teaching of Buddha that's similar, where he approached his own death with equanimity. And there were some students that felt equanimity and others that did not. So this question my father asked, didn't really ask it in a question, but brought this up to me that he's studied the teachings of Socrates for many years.

[53:51]

And now at this time, my grandfather, who is not my father's father, but a great teacher and mentor and a great friend of my father, is reaching the end of his life, and with some varying degree of equanimity for himself, he's there, but for my father, he feels great grief, despair, and loss. And he brought this up to me, that how is it that he feels, I think, like a failure of a student of Socrates or Buddha, you know, that he is studying this way, he knows other, and he feels this great It's enough for me. Being a student of a way is not the same as realizing it, and of course it can't be separated from realizing it. Learning how to deal with transience, with equanimity, involves the practice of grief and sadness.

[54:58]

prior to having complete equanimity with change, we grasp somewhat. And when we grasp, our life becomes confined and drawn and, you know, suffocated. Grief is medicine. Sadness is grief in the form of... sadness in the form of grieving, you know. is to relax and open to the pain of holding on in change. So part of the practice of achieving equanimity with change is grieving. Grieving is not contradictory. to the practice and realization of equanimity. Once equanimity is realized, grieving probably will not function and it will not be necessary from that point onward, I should say for events from that point onward. But all attachments prior, that accrued prior to the realization of equanimity,

[56:08]

don't drop away immediately upon achieving equanimity. So even if you achieve equanimity, your body is still registering attachments which are purified by grieving. So even someone who has realized equanimity still may have a body that needs to grieve. A breathing body is a healthy body. It's a body that says, take this medicine and you will be able to let go of what is gone. And then if you have equanimity, then you will not attach to new changing things. You will just equanimously swim in the river of change. But even while equanimously swimming in the river of change, you still maybe have to cry quite a bit to release attachments registered in the body to pass things that have been lost physically or emotionally, which you haven't let go of when you weren't equanimous.

[57:16]

So either when you're learning equanimity with change and or having realized it, Grieving is a normal part of that process. At some point you become cleansed of all attachments to past losses through grieving. And then with equanimity you do not form new attachments. So then there's not need for grief anymore. Then you can just help other people who are with you learn how to do the practice. So I think in that way Socrates is close to the Buddha. But the Buddha actually didn't, you know, I don't remember the Buddha being particularly admonishing towards those who were grieving.

[58:22]

I don't remember that part. I hear about Socrates doing that. I think he understood that for some of them that was part of their process towards understanding his teaching. Like Ananda was not yet enlightened, so he kind of was grieving. And there are stories, like the story of Dung Shan. When he died, his disciples made a lot of noise. But I didn't think he was that much discouraging their grieving, but just making a lot of noise, because he kind of wanted a quiet when he went. So he came back and gave them another week to get ready. And then he went again, and that time they were quiet. They were grieving quietly. I heard that story. I tried to tell my dad that story, but I don't remember it.

[59:24]

So it sounds to me like your dad's on the path, but maybe hasn't fully realized the way of Socrates. But it sounds like he's on that path, and if he keeps grieving... and achieve non-equanimity, the grief will come to an end at some point when it's done its job. But like I say, a healthy body just keeps making this offering because it's saying, wash yourself, wash yourself through feeling this. Take this medicine. Use this soap. Use this lubricant. Thank you. You're welcome. Anything else? Any other visitors?

[60:26]

I have a story. Now I have questions about the story after listening to the fox call. And it's a story I've been constructing all week. And it started, or maybe I've been constructing it for longer than all week, started when I, the morning I heard you say that in this study of karma, it's not deterministic, that there's freedom to be found in the field. And so I've been playing the last week with my stories and trying to look at them being tentative and provisional. And as one story arises, I try to see the opposite immediately of the story and adopt that. And that's been fun. But in the course of doing that, this question of morality keeps rising for me. And I've been concerned about that. And I... I didn't see that addressed in the Robinson article either. I saw that she talked about the lack of integrity in the stories, and she talked about narrative being about relation between if this, then that, which to me is the same basis of cause and effect, if this, then that.

[61:55]

So I didn't see her address this issue if there is no integrity to the relation, then how do we form I seem to remember her saying that the integrity of the relationship includes its hypothetical character. It does have integrity. But if you tell a story without remembering its provisional quality, you're missing its integrity. Its integrity includes that it's provisional. That's part of the wholeness of storytelling. So I'm still struggling in that. That's what I understood for her. She didn't say that stories don't have integrity. She's saying that people miss the integrity of the story when they lose track of the hypothetical, tentative, provisional quality of thought construction. The integrity of thought construction is that something's missing. The integrity of thought construction is that it's off as a representative of reality.

[63:03]

That's part of its integrity, is that it's nice and impure. And prone to error. And prone to error. That's part of the integrity. You're missing part of the process if you don't notice that. And she's suggesting people miss that so then they don't notice the integrity of it. She isn't saying it doesn't have integrity. He's saying people don't see the integrity because they deny the error-prone nature of thought construction, of storytelling, of intentions, of good intentions, and even the error-inclined quality of bad intentions. Bad intentions don't always work either the way we intend. Dash, not deterministic. He got all that. I have the second story. And the second story is a story of moral clarity that arises in the other dependent as a nature of the other dependence, the interdependence in the other dependent and the love of interdependence there is this quality of moral clarity.

[64:20]

And I have a story that illuminates our activities then. And maybe that's part of what's missing in the impotential side when we're telling these stories. And I have a small story myself, a story of direct experience, that, to use your curtain analogy, there was a small pinhole in the curtain and there was an illumination for me on one of the precepts. Not on all the precepts, just on this one precept. The curtain over that one precept got a hole in it. And it's been illuminated for me. And since that time now, when I have an unwholesome intention arise on a certain activity around this precept, even though my sense organ has fond memories of enjoying that activity in the past, this precept arises very powerfully in me and embodies me in a way that

[65:24]

Even if I engage in the activity, I can, as I'm engaging it, I can sense the suffering of all beings who are engaging in that same activity, that same unwholesome activity at that moment. And I'm not able to continue with the activity. So that story of that experience gives me great comfort that there is moral clarity. However, I'm also aware of this other story, Till, that there's emptiness in the other dependent, and that ultimately there's emptiness in that moral clarity that I'm grasping onto now. There's emptiness in the moral clarity, but also there's emptiness in the moral situation that you're clear about. So the clarity is empty, and what you're clear about is empty. Empty of your story about this moral situation.

[66:25]

Okay. And I accept that story. Okay. And now I have this sense of freedom there. But then I hear the Fox Co-In, And I find myself falling into being Bichon One. And so I'm troubled by the Fox Cohen in trying to understand how this ethical model that we're talking about can function if there's not this concept of freedom, ultimately, And it just strikes me that there's bondage and freedom, and I don't see how we, what's the imperative for us to progress in our intentions, our good intentions, to be people of goodwill, if there is no ultimate freedom from cause and effect.

[67:35]

And that takes me back into just a deterministic system. If Buddhas and ancestors are bound by cause and effect, then why do I desire to cleanse my intentions? Well, I feel like I should speak now because you brought up so much. But the last thing is, you said, if Buddhas are bound by cause and effect, and I would say Buddhas demonstrate freedom within the bondage of cause and effect. That's where they teach. They teach in bondage. They teach in a world. Basically, as I read earlier, basically in the light, Buddhas are space, like space. And there's no, like, you know, not being caught by cause and effect.

[68:45]

They're like space. However, the spacious being can manifest in response to beings who are caught in cause and effect, who do not understand bondage. And it manifests in bondage as freedom, freedom of teaching, freedom of turning words, for example. So you said you're troubled by this story, and I thought, oh, this story is offering you trouble. Trouble is something to work with in this story. Some people hear this story and they're not troubled by it. So then they can't take any trouble, so they don't have any traction. So the trouble you see in the story is part of what it's offering. It's offering you some trouble for you to then go to the trouble of questioning and wondering what the story is about.

[69:51]

And also, as a general policy, as you start to understand emptiness, as you start to understand that your story about what the precepts mean is not in the precepts, if then you're less interested in practicing the precepts, you should put aside your understanding of the absence of the story and the precept and go back to studying your stories of the precepts. And study them in a way that's compatible with complete devotion to the precepts. So our first, we have three pure precepts. The first one is, we say, is in this tradition, literally, it is the precept of embracing and sustaining forms and ceremonies, or regulations and ceremonies. One way to explain that precept is

[70:55]

that without any discrimination, without being caught by the discrimination between good and evil, without being caught by the discrimination between enlightened and unenlightened, without being caught by the discrimination between bondage and liberation, practice avoiding evil. Practice avoiding evil. Be mindful to avoid evil while not being caught by the distinction between good and evil. That's the precept of embracing and sustaining regulations and ceremonies. To find the middle way between freedom and bondage is freedom. to find the middle way between doing whatever you want and disregarding the precepts and holding to the precepts. Holding the precepts goes along with you thinking that they can be held or that they can be grasped. So we vow to uphold the precepts without grasping them.

[72:03]

And in the ceremony we say, do you vow to observe them? We could say, do you vow to study them? Do you vow to learn them? But we say observe. Meditate. You vow to meditate on the precepts continuously from now and even after becoming a Buddha. You continue to meditate on the precepts. Even after you understand the emptiness of the precepts, which is not that there's no precepts. It's just that nobody's story about the precepts is what the precepts are. No matter what I think of the precepts, no matter what I think of what not killing means. Not killing is not what I think of it. And when I understand that and have no discrimination between killing and not killing, I should say, I discriminate between killing and not killing. But I'm not caught by the distinction. And I practice not killing.

[73:06]

I practice, then, avoiding evil. But if, as I understand more and more deeply, the light of the precepts. The light of the precepts is how no story reaches them and how they're actually being enacted in the entire universe by all things. When I see that light, which encourages you, even while you sort of seem to be doing evil, it enlightens you, it encourages you to stop doing evil. the light of non-discrimination is actually effective in helping you stop doing evil. It helps you avoid doing evil. But if you're not committed to avoiding doing evil, then when you're doing evil, the light doesn't know where to find you. So you say, over here, come on, please come.

[74:07]

So those two together Emptiness is supposed to help us fully realize the precepts which we practice before we realize emptiness and after. And if afterwards we think we don't have to, then we'd get a temporary sabbatical from emptiness practice and go back to form practice. Let's look at the story again. Am I committed to practicing avoiding evil? yes wholeheartedly yes okay get back on track then you can start meditating on the process even with the danger of realizing emptiness and also the liberating cleansing function of realizing emptiness of the bodhisattva precepts so the first bodhisattva pure precept is in some ways it's not really just to avoid evil.

[75:10]

It's to practice avoiding evil without being caught by discrimination. Then it becomes the precept of ceremonies and rituals, or rituals and regulations. Does that make more sense? So I hear something that you're talking about the middle way then to the essence of Bijan to his turning points. Bajan. Bajan. When he says they attend to it. He says, attend is not actually one of the translations. It's put negatively. Does not ignore. Does not evade. Does not obscure. Is not blind. It's put negatively because it's a turning word. One says not fall. So then you take not fall and turn it to not evade. Not blind. Which sounds literally like pays attention to cause and effect, pays attention to karmic cause and effect.

[76:17]

He's not concerned so much about not falling or falling, but he's paying attention. He's not turning away from the process of cause and effect. And this goes with a deep faith that this is an essential part of practice. And if you can practice that way and realize the emptiness and continue to practice that way, that will be the point. Is that enough for today? Thank you so much for the teaching so far. They've been very accessible to me, except for today, and feeling a Dalin moment of, waha? Like, how did those three stories connect? I mean, the first one started out with, okay, Buddha's foot rays of light, then all these numbers, and people saying stuff all at the same time, and then to Don Quixote droning on about

[77:33]

being a warrior at the table, and then back to the fox story, and then the fox story I still felt from yesterday, like, who was the guy with the red beard, and who hit who, and what? And I just... Help connect, please. You want to connect these different stories? I guess I'm asking, what was today's teaching? Well... I think it's, you know, the best, right now it seems that the best thing is that. What is today's teaching? To me, I just heard a bunch of stories. Yeah, but as a result of hearing a bunch of stories, you ask that question. And I said at the beginning, or I said at some point, I am encouraging you to comprehend the world as a question, and you just did it.

[78:36]

However, after you did it, it sounded like you wanted to erase the question and get an answer, get a world that was… Now, it sounds like you wanted the curtain to close again. I just want to make sure I didn't miss something. I appreciate you telling us. that you want to make sure that you're not missing something. Okay? This is a universal human situation. Here we are in this river of change, and we're afraid we're going to miss something in the river. And so we would like someone to give us something to get a hold of. But then the curtains close. So it sounds like the curtains open a little bit, but when they open, all you've got is light, and you can't grasp light. However, it illuminates you, and one of the effects of being illuminated is you start feeling questions.

[79:40]

Now, the questions might be to try to get back, figure out a way to get that curtain closed again so you can grab the curtain. That might be the question. And I'm tempted to answer your question so you can get hold of the curtain again, the fabric, the thread that connects these stories. These stories are connected, they're interdependent. But the connection, the interdependence, actually cannot be grasped. It's light. The way these stories work together, the way the stories work together this morning, is the light of Buddha's foot. That is the light. But you can't get that. However, if you just say, I can't get it, and then you, I don't know what, have a little fit or something, that's like, you know, well, at least I've got the fit. I know, I know, I said, this is stupid teaching, or ridiculous.

[80:43]

So now you've got something. Okay? But to wonder what the teaching is, is the point of the teaching. To wonder, to question, to open, not to get the teaching, to question it. So your question is a success story of the teaching. Now you also need teaching to encourage you to continue to accept questioning. But that is the mode which the stories are trying to encourage in us. See, even one of the stories would be sufficient to ask a question, perhaps. Like, light? What's this light? Why is he talking about light? Or why are the sutras talking about people being illuminated by light? By being awakened by light? But then, so then, if that didn't work, then we move to Don Quixote. If that doesn't work, go back to Baijong.

[81:43]

But it sounds like it did work. My intention was to encourage you to see the world of this morning as a question, and you did. And part of me would like to give you an answer for what happened this morning, but then I would be guiding you back to human stupidity. Anybody? I can go there on my own. No, you can't. But anyway, some people here may have an answer about what happened here this morning. And I'm not saying the people are stupid, I'm just saying that's stupid. It's stupid to have an answer. But it's hard for us not to have an answer. And I'm trying not to yield too much to the impulse to have an answer.

[82:47]

Except now I have an answer. Yeah, sorry. Sorry. I guess, yeah, I came up here kind of wanting to know, like, if you wanted to teach us, teach me something, what did you want to teach me? And to tell me that you wanted me to question, that's good enough for me. Yeah. So now you have an answer, and so now you're not questioning anymore. I'm going to still ask, what's that all about? That's fine. So then that's the important thing. That's the living part of the practice, not the answer that we think we have. So thank you for your question and your expression. Want some feedback?

[83:51]

Yeah. When you walk in your robes, please have your hands in shashu. And in coming, asking a question, what's the posture then? In asking a question, what's the posture? For you, shashu. Does he answer it now? It's not an answer. It's a response. But if you want an answer, I'll give you an answer so you can hold on to it. If you want an answer, I'll give you an answer so you can hold on to it. No, I know it's a dynamic and it's not an answer. And it's not a question, but it's a posture. Anyway, if you want to take your hands and go make a gesture to show me something, okay?

[84:53]

If you want to do that, fine. All right? Do you understand what I'm saying? If you want to go, bye-bye, or you want to salute me or something like this, do you want to do something like that? That's fine with me. But when you're walking in your robe, I'm suggesting you walk in shashu. That's what I'm suggesting to you. So I can tell the difference between shashu, nervousness, and intention. And I receive you. Good. I still have a question. Would you speak up then? Back in shashu, please. I'm just seeing ancestors, and we are invited to watch ancestors. And they have been asking questions in various different ways. Can you hear her? No. So, do you want people to hear you?

[85:57]

Then you have to speak much louder. So, I've been heard the instruction that we are invited to watch ancestors. We are invited to watch ancestors. And I have seen them go and leave like that, I think, and ask questions. Yes. Or like that. Yes. And I heard the instruction like that. Yes. And I'm bringing that forward because I want to know, I have a story. but they're still leaning. I'm having a story that if I'm going into this pasture that I'm still leaning, especially if I go like this. You have a story that you're leaning? Yes. Yes, okay. I haven't tried out this so much because I'm pretty nervous.

[86:59]

Okay, so you have a story. And what's your question? Did you say you have a question? Okay. The question is the dynamic... The question is how to be respectful and basically how not to lean. The question is how not to lean? Is that the question? Right. I'm asking the question. If you have a story that you're not leaning, regard that story as a question. If you have a story that you're upright, regard that story as a question. If you think you're upright, regard that thought, regard that thinking as a story, as a question.

[88:05]

That's how to be upright. And being upright also can be called not leaning. Believing our stories are what they're about is leaning. The story itself is leaning. But remembering that the story is a story, remembering that the story is a question, That is uprightness. The question I tell you in this biased way is not a story. The question is an openness which is not a story. The question is vast space. The question is Buddha.

[89:07]

The question is uprightness. It's not a story. If it's a story, then we see that as a question. Seeing that it's a question is being upright. Even if my thumb is like... Even if my thumb is like... Even if her thumb was like... Tied by my other fingers... Even if the thumb had the other fingers around it... And pretty tight, that's still pretty open. Even this is pretty open, that's right. Then you see the question. Here's the question. That's the openness of this fist. This fist is the entire universe in ten directions. You're welcome. And that's how the forms connect with avoiding evil.

[90:20]

Use the forms to see if you can remember that the forms are questions. My story is that I wrote a note to someone Denying cause and effect, not recognizing the effect. Ah, the old man has come. Am I a dead fox? You're going directly from there to dead fox without 500 lifetimes? Maybe just a dead muck. Can I get a funeral?

[91:22]

I vow to give you the most beautiful funeral, as beautiful as you would give for me. But until then, This afternoon. This afternoon? Okay. Complete? Do you have further instructions? Yeah, I would regard that story you just told me as a question. I would take a wonderful journey with your sidekicks into the field of that story and see if you can not grasp it as what really is going on in your life. Good.

[92:29]

Something is going on, yes. And it's basically nirvanic. Is that the foundation of our practice, that understanding? Is that the foundation? No, the foundation is compassion. And because of compassion, we will want to be completely pure in our compassion. We'll notice if our compassion is hindered, then we'll realize we need to develop wisdom along with it. And then our practice of compassion will naturally start studying our stories so that our compassion won't be hindered by our stories. So is the first step in practice to be willing to look at our stories?

[93:35]

She said it's the first step in practice to be willing to look at our stories. The first step in learning the Buddha way is to be willing to look at the stories. But before starting to learn, we need to practice tranquility, I think. We need to be in a compassionate and relaxed state in order to actually effectively start studying. However, to start studying even before you're relaxed you're still trying to learn. It's just that I would advise us to put on our equipment, you know, put on our hiking boots before we walk in this dangerous terrain. But even going for a walk in your stories to learn about them with barefoot and have a lot of trouble, you're still practicing. It's just that I would advise us to enter the field with some protection because it's a new kind of danger that we're not so familiar with.

[94:42]

So the real spirit of wisdom is the spirit of learning about karma, of learning about stories, learning about ourself. That's the essence of our practice of learning the Buddha way. And we do this because of compassion, because we care for suffering beings, including ourself. We want people to be free and happy. And studying stories and not being caught by them is happiness. Is that enough for today? She has to ask one thing. Do you want to stand here, or do you want to stand there, or where do you want to stand? So we're sitting there having supper and the princess is at the table and they've just had tofu stew and she's listening to Don Quixote and she turns to him and says, who is this sitting across from me at the table?

[96:02]

And what kind of armor are you wearing? And what does Don Quixote say? Don Quixote, his velvet britches are too tight. He ate too much. But what about this piece is war? Sounds like 1984. 1984 and 2007. Peace is war. War is peace. It's a story which soldiers think is reasonable, even when being told the story by a madman. That's how they get into those foxholes.

[97:05]

And die in droves. Maybe later the princess offered Don Quixote a turning word. I'll check it out. But he needs one. Because he's a madman who believes his stories. Like, for example, that peace is the most important thing. He believes that story. And so he can also believe the story, war is peace. Don Quixote shows us the madness of believing our stories. And he shows us that when we read about his believing his stories, we're reading about ourselves. And so we call from our understanding that we're believing our stories and his insanity is ours.

[98:12]

we call for assistance to help us wake up to the tentative, universal storytelling and to not, you know, help us to study this and study this and study this and not forget that we're telling a story in hopes that we will soon be sane and that everyone we meet we'll be able to resist the story we have about them. We'll resist the impulse to act on that story. And we'll find the impulse to act on freedom from the story in hopes that that will be peace. So if I believe that Don Quixote is crazy, that's very similar to him believing that war is peace.

[99:17]

But if I know that my thinking that he's crazy or just sane but wrong in believing his story, then I'm afflicted and it will be difficult for me to act in the sane way. But reality often crashes through Don Quixote's shield and sends him spinning. And there's a moment there of possibility, of freedom. There's a moment of not believing. The light comes in, but then he goes back, like we do, back to grasping the stories. Is that enough for now? May our intention

[100:29]

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