Good morning. Before I begin my talk, I just want to talk about a few things. One thing is, because of the nature of our lay practice, when we have practice period, and especially Seshin, because of people's responsibilities family and work and so forth. Not everyone can do five days, so we make allowances three days, as a minimum and so forth. And then secretly, if someone asks, sincerely, you know, I have these few things to do, but I'd like to come and I can't do exactly that, I usually say, But that's because of the circumstances.

[01:00]

It's not because of the preferences. There's a difference between circumstances and preferences. So circumstances is, I want to, but I can't. Preferences is, I just want to or don't want to. So sincerity is, unavoidable circumstances. So anyway, people are just coming and going a lot because of the circumstances. And we allow for that and so forth. But that can create an influence of, well, I see people coming and going, so maybe I should be able to do that too. It can create a kind of looseness, loose feeling, if you don't understand what's happening.

[02:06]

So I don't say that that's what's happening, but let's not let that happen. So please, if we're all sincerely practicing according to our conviction, according to intention, everything will work just fine. But otherwise, it really confuses the director. The director, session director, really gets confused with what's going on. If things are not, if he doesn't understand what's really going on. So, please be as present as possible. Don't linger. When we come back from Just come in the zendo. Don't stop for something. Don't get a cup of coffee. Just come in the zendo and sit down. That way we're all on the same page.

[03:09]

We're not indulging ourselves a little bit at a time. Another thing is when the servers are serving. Sometimes we have like a soup that has some heavy ingredients and a lot of water and the heavy ingredients get under the bottom and the server will just serve from the top, which is the water. And then the people at the end get all the heavy stuff. So that's not fair. Not only is it not fair, it's not practice. Practice is to go all the way down to the bottom when you do something. This is a teaching. Serving is how we live our life. If you know how to serve, then you know how to live your life.

[04:11]

All of the things that we do in the Zen Dojo are based on how to live our life in reality, thoroughly. The section that I'm going to talk about next today is about how to live your life thoroughly, moment by moment. I had something else I want to say. Oh yes. When we sit Zazen, You know, your head is about the size and weight of a bowling ball. Two eyes and a mouth. That's just, don't take that seriously. So, if you keep it on top of your spine, you can balance your body.

[05:13]

If it's leaning forward, increase all this tension, an extra weight pulling you forward. And then you can't keep your back straight. Like, how come I can't keep my back straight? And if I say something, they must be talking to somebody else. So it's very frustrating for me. And then if I go to adjust your posture, it's like... My advice to you is loosen up. Flexibility is the secret of practice. Flexibility is what it's all about. If you don't have flexibility, then you know where you are in your practice. So, it's not about strength, muscular strength. It's about balance. It's all about balance.

[06:16]

There's only one place in your body that you need to exert effort. Two places. One is your lower back and the other is your sternum. Although you can sit with your back straight, if your sternum isn't lifted, then your head falls forward because your chest caves in. When your chest caves in, everything goes like this. So you need to, I'm not saying pull out your chest, lift your sternum. When you lift your sternum, you can feel it in your lower back. Those are the two points. When I adjust somebody's posture, I go like that. That's all you have to do. And so you do it yourself. Lift your sternum and it automatically pulls your lower back forward. And then your head can stay on top of your spine.

[07:20]

But sometimes, if I say, keep your head on top of your spine, you go like this. And you're looking up there. And lower your head, so that you're not looking up. Suzuki Goshi called this ego practice. Don't do that. Your gaze should be at least a little bit down. It doesn't mean that your head Your head can be straight forward, but your gaze should not be up, because then it starts lifting your head up, looking at the heavens. So those are hints about posture. That's a hint about posture. I've been receiving some comments about my delivery of this Ginjo Koan commentary of Nishiyai Bokusan during Sesshin.

[08:32]

And some of them will say, great, some of them will also say, Well, gee, I wish I had my book so I could follow the text. And when I read it, I don't understand it. But when you read it, it all makes sense. Which is true. If you read it yourself and you don't understand it, it doesn't make sense. But if someone reads it who feels that they understand it and reads it as if they understand it, it makes sense. And then someone else says, well, I don't like it when you read it. It's kind of boring, you know, reading something. I wish you would say something more about what your understanding is, which I think I'm doing. So there are all these comments, and each one of them is legitimate. And so I just have to go, considering all those, I have to decide how I'm going to do this.

[09:34]

And I'm going to do it the way I've been doing it. Because I can't change it. There are three people here, Dogen, Nishiyari, and Sojin, all giving a commentary. So Dogen is just saying what he thinks. Nishiyari is saying what he thinks Dogen is saying. And I'm saying what I think Dogen and Nishiyari are saying. And so the presentation here, for me, is presenting Nishiyari's commentary. That's the main thing for me. It's not my commentary. It's kind of my exposition of Nishari's commentary on Dogon. So I think that's what I've been doing. And it may, you know, sometimes it falls down here and picks up there, but please go along with it, because I think it's a really wonderful commentary. And the more I read it, the more I get from it.

[10:38]

And reading it out loud, by himself. I mean, tacitly. So please bear with me. So I'm going to just go with what I have been doing. Read the Genjoko on up to this point. When all dharmas are buddhadharma, there are delusion, realization, practice, birth and death, buddhas, and sentient beings. This is our experience. When the myriad dharmas are without a self, there is no delusion, no realization, no buddha, no sentient beings, no birth, and no death. This is intrinsic. The Buddha way basically is leaping clear of abundance and lack. Thus, there are birth and death, delusion and realization, sentient beings and Buddhas.

[11:42]

Yet, in attachment, blossoms fall, and in aversion, weeds spread. So, this is going beyond, which means the warp and woof of emptiness and form. To carry the self forward and illuminate myriad dharmas is delusion. That myriad dharmas come forth and illuminate the self is enlightenment. Those who have great realization of delusion are Buddhas, and those who are greatly deluded about realization are sentient beings. Further, there are those who continue realizing beyond realization, who are in delusion through delusion. When Buddhas are truly Buddhas, they do not necessarily notice that they are Buddhas. However, they are actualized Buddhas and go on actualizing Buddha. When you see forms or hear sounds fully engaging body and mind, you intuit dharma intimately.

[12:43]

Unlike things and their reflections in the mirror, and unlike the moon and its reflection in the water, when one side is illuminated, the other side is dark. To study the Buddha way is to study the self. To study the self is to forget the self. To forget the self is to be actualized by myriad things, dharmas. When actualized by myriad dharmas, your body and mind, as well as the bodies and minds of others, drop away. No trace of enlightenment remains, and this no trace continues endlessly. This is the plan of practice. And when you first seek dharma, you imagine you are far away from its environs. At the moment when dharma is correctly transmitted, you are immediately your original self. When you ride in a boat and watch the shore, you might assume that the shore is moving. But when you keep your eyes closely on the boat, you can see that it's the boat that moves. Similarly, if you examine myriad things with a confused body and mind, you might suppose that your mind and nature are permanent.

[13:53]

When you practice intimately and return to where you are, it will be clear that nothing at all has unchanging self. That's where we came to yesterday. Today, we're going to talk about firewood and ash, the wonderful part that everybody is so popular. This is a great, long commentary. Commentary is very long. So I thought about, well, maybe I should just do parts of it. I kept reading. I thought, I can't leave this out. I can't leave that out. Everything is like when the emperor said to Mozart, your piece is too long. Can't you shorten it? He said. So here's Firewood and Ash. the reality of birth and death according to Dogen.

[15:06]

It's all about birth and death. Firewood becomes ash, and it, firewood, does not become firewood again. Yet do not suppose that the ash is after And the firewood is before, as we usually think. You think about before and after. This is one of the problems that we have. You should understand that firewood abides in the phenomenal expression of firewood. Firewood is just what it is, which fully includes before and after, a history and a future. And it's independent of history and future, before and after. ash abides in the phenomenal expression of ash, which fully includes before and after, and just as firewood does not become firewood again, after it is ash, you do not return to birth after death."

[16:18]

So this is a very interesting expression because it doesn't sound like the usual expression that we hear in the Buddha Dharma. because the usual expression in Buddha dharma is that we return. The Tibetans believe in reincarnation and other Buddhists believe in rebirth, which are not the same thing. So, this being so, assuming that it is, It is an established way in Buddhadharma to deny that birth turns into death. This turns into is the key here. That one thing turns into another. Yesterday, or the day before, I think it was yesterday, was the first day of summer, right?

[17:24]

Yesterday was the first day of summer. The day before was spring. Today is summer. Yesterday was the turning point. But did spring become summer? Before yesterday, there was just summer, and summer covered everything. I mean spring, excuse me. Today is summer, and we don't think about spring. This is spring becoming winter. So, accordingly, birth is understood as... This being so is an established way in Buddhadharma to deny that birth turns into death. Accordingly, birth is understood as no birth. It is an unshakable teaching in Buddhist discourse that death does not turn into birth.

[18:31]

Accordingly, death is understood as no death. Birth is an expression, complete this moment. Death is an expression, complete this moment. They are like winter and spring. You do not call winter the beginning of spring, nor summer the end of spring. You might do that, but you understand the metaphor. So Dogen also talks about the total exertion of a single dharma. Total exertion of a single dharma is this moment is just this moment, this thing is just this thing, this act is just this act. We tend to lump things together. in our life, we think about continuation in terms of continuation and we think in terms of two birds with one stone or lumping together.

[19:46]

Dogen here is talking about the total exertion of a single dharma. Birth is a total exertion of a single dharma. Death is a total exertion of a single dharma. One thing doesn't turn into another. We think in terms of sequence, but here he's not talking about sequence. He's talking about how each thing is what it is. So he brings us to a different place than the way we usually think. So Nishyari says, this is an essential point, so all the teachers made a great effort to comment on it. In the end, this is the teaching of the undivided activity of birth and death. It is meant to replace the ordinary dualistic views of people by demonstrating a clear understanding of birth and death in the Buddha way.

[20:52]

We often say to fully experience one dharma, one thing at a time. You should understand this here. It sounds like pushing forcefully things that are scattered in many places into one place, into one dharma. But that's not so. Essentially, all dharmas are fully experiencing one dharma. This is like the net of Indra, if you're familiar with the net of Indra. The net of Indra is like a net with mirrors at each crossroads of the net, and each mirror is reflecting every other mirror which is reflecting every other mirror which is reflecting. So every one mirror is reflecting the whole universe.

[21:54]

There was also a demonstration of this by, I'm trying to remember the name of this Chinese master. But he demonstrated, it's called the demonstration of the golden lion. He demonstrated this to the empress. He had a room. that was all mirrors. And then he put this image of a golden lion on a stand in the middle of the room. And you walk in the room, all the four corners and the ceiling and floor, everything was reflecting the golden lion in infinite ways, because each mirror was reflecting each mirror infinitely without end. So he says, we often say to fully experience one dharma.

[23:13]

You should understand this here. It sounds like pushing forcefully things that are scattered in many places into one dharma. But that's not so. Essentially, all dharmas are fully experiencing one dharma. I want to say that this exposition You may not understand it thoroughly, but that's okay. Just hearing it is good. After I had helped translate this, just reading it again was confusing to me. And then reading it over, it begins to make more and more sense to me. So did it make some sense on the initial translation that when you read it, it was confusing because it's a different realization or a deeper... Confusing is not the right word.

[24:16]

It's more like difficult to understand. Because when you're translating, you internalize. And internalizing, you understand it. Reading it, it's an object. So until you internalize it again, I can see how it's difficult for people to understand when they read it. You have to internalize it. So he said, there are many kinds in one, and there is no duality in two. So we say, all dharmas are one, and one in all and all in one. This is how we understand the oneness of duality and the duality of oneness.

[25:19]

There is not a single piece in all dharmas that falls into a second head. Fully experiencing one dharma is an actual form of the dharmadhatu. and this is Genjo Koan. You know, when we say Zazen, Zazen is to take ourselves away from the world of multiplicity into the realm of oneness. But this is the place where the one act covers the whole universe. This is the meaning of Zazen. Zazen is this one act of the total exertion of one dharma. That's what sansen is. The total exertion of one dharma which covers the universe. So I take my hand, when I'm looking I can see all these faces, right?

[26:22]

But if I take my hand and put it up here, I see my hand as one thing, but I don't see you. but you're there and included. So we say Zazen covers the universe. It's not an escape, it's an opening up. So the Buddha Dharma, Dogon Zenji speaks about the going beyond of going beyond. This is fully experiencing one Dharma. But if you want to take care of everything by fully experiencing one dharma, disregarding its content, that is ignorance of one dharma. So all dharmas, all the various expressions of one dharma are really the expression of one dharma. So fully experiencing one dharma is not like that.

[27:33]

All dharmas as they are, are fully experiencing one dharma. So what is the one dharma that all dharmas are experiencing? What is the common denominator? What is the one thing that is common, the one dharma that is common to everyone and everything, and that everything is the expression of that one dharma? So firewood becomes ash, this is Dugan, and it does not become firewood again. Most people misunderstand this metaphor. When the record of my lecture on this subject was published, one priest, who didn't understand matters and principles, criticized harshly that Nishyari has the view of annihilation. This text appears to be so, if you take it hastily, but study it carefully.

[28:38]

In heaven and earth, and in the Dharmadhatu, that which perishes is bound to perish. And that which is permanent is bound to be permanent. With poisonous views, you fall into either the view of annihilation or the view of permanence. This is a dis-ease. But annihilation and permanence are both the true marks of heaven and earth, the Dharmadhatu. This follows from the previous section. So what is permanence? And what is impermanence? Suzuki Roshi would say, what is the most important understanding of Buddhism? And he said, everything changes. You can't deny that. That's impermanence, right? But the most impermanent thing, the most permanent thing, is impermanence. That which is permanent is impermanent.

[29:43]

So, yes? Does that include things like the speed of light? The speed of light? Something that seems to be constant. Oh, yeah. Nothing is that constant. It seems constant. They're things that seem constant. That's right. They're things that seem constant, but they're not. They're only constant for the billions of years, light years. That's just a flash in the bucket. That just seems like a lot to us. Because we're the center of the universe, center of the universe, so because we're the center of the universe, something seems distant and something seems close. You know, the Milky Way is not distant, it's just distant according to our center, but it's not distant, it's just where it is.

[30:55]

So, something's not close, it's just only close because of where we stand. So there's nothing permanent about anything. But we take a standing point and then we gauge everything in relation to that standing point. We pound a nail in space and we say, this is what everything in the universe relates to. It's true. Everything in the universe relates to this nail. Which is okay, you know, as a reference point. So we make our reference points, but they're not real, in the real sense. They're just reference points for our being able to move and so forth. And what is permanent? Change. Yeah, change is the only thing that's permanent.

[32:01]

Linda? It's a short one. One of our echos says the everlasting triple treasure. Is that a mistake in translation? No, that's good. Everlasting triple treasure means everything changes when you get down to it. What do you think it means? Everlasting is a little misleading, I think. Only in a dualistic sense. Okay. Tamara? When something changes, where does it go? That's the question. That's exactly what Dovian is talking about. That's exactly what... If it's not real, it doesn't go anywhere. Robert? I think this is pertinent.

[33:08]

The speed of light, you only have speed when you have time. And Nogin says the self is time. Einstein says, and most physicists say, time is an illusion. It's just a very stubborn one. Yeah. All those things are so. So, in heaven and earth, and in the Dharmadhatu, that which perishes is bound to perish, and that which is permanent is bound to be permanent, given that there is such a thing. With poisonous views you fall into either the view of annihilation or the view of permanence. This is a dis-ease. But annihilation and permanence are both the true marks of heaven and earth and the dharmadhatu. The priest does not seem to understand the annihilation and permanence of Buddhadharma, misunderstanding the true marks of heaven and earth and calling it the pure annihilation.

[34:17]

This is where we need thorough study. So look at the first metaphor. Firewood becomes ash. So what is this compared to? So he's talking about now annihilation and permanence, and this question. So, it is compared to the undivided activity of birth and death. I'm sorry. Firewood becomes ash. I'm sorry. I'm trying to get where I was. Look at the first one again. It is compared to the undivided activity of birth and death. Undivided activity. Birth is undivided activity, and death is undivided. Undivided means it's what it is. It's just what it is. Birth and death are not what people ordinarily think. It's not that someone who is alive dies. Rather, birth is birth all the way, and death is death all the way.

[35:22]

When you say birth, there is no death. And at the time of death, there is no birth. Sometimes people translate this as life and death. I didn't do that because I think birth and death are activities. Life is not an activity in the sense of coming and going. Life includes birth and death from my point of view. You know, this is interesting. Catherine Thaddeus, who was a priest with Suzuki Roshi's disciple, who spent many years at Zen Center and developed the Santa Cruz Zen Center, fell down. She had a brain injury of one kind or another.

[36:26]

And she's basically dead, but she's not dead. She has life support so that her disciples and friends can come and pay their last respects. But she's not exactly there, and she's not exactly not there. This is very interesting. So I'm thinking, if we have a well-being ceremony, that doesn't apply. And if we have a memorial ceremony, that doesn't apply either, because she's not going to get well, and she's not dead. This is a very interesting situation, yes. And how is that different than us? OK, well, yes, how does the moment by moment changing relate to birth and death?

[37:38]

Is that what you're saying? In a matter of speaking, it's not to minimize Catherine's process and students and all that, but when you say well-being service, for her, it's not quite right. And I think about when people are going through things that we offer services to. Well, when we have a well-being ceremony, is because we are hoping for that person. We're sending our, you know, hope. But this is not, there's no hope here. It's just not like, I hope you get better, or, you know, we send our, that's not there. It's simply a plug. But we can do that. I mean, it's possible. I'm just, you know, it to me is a kind of koan. It's really a kind of koan. You can do anything, but it's a koan.

[38:41]

Alan? Well, this stuff tells I was thinking about this word annihilation and the critique that he received. If you translate it, if you translate whatever the word in Japanese is as life, then naturally, you can understand why someone could take it as annihilation. If you take it as the oscillation of birth and death, then it's not annihilation, it's just being in alignment with the way. So what we could do in this respect is have a service for Catherine, and well-being means being in accord with the way. That's what we wish for her, and that's what we wish for everybody. Yeah, I think that's right. Kanzayon will figure it out.

[39:44]

We'll leave it up to Kanzayon. Katie? I'm not sure what I'm saying with this, but I read about how there They're starting to understand that people in between states with brain injuries, at least of some kind, go in and out of consciousness. Not consciousness like wake up, but levels of consciousness. It's very in between, it seems. Right. I'm sure that we don't understand all that happens in those states. So yeah, I think we should have that ceremony. Or either tonight or tomorrow morning. How about tomorrow morning? Yeah, tomorrow morning. So firewood becomes ash. And when it becomes ash, it never returns to firewood.

[40:48]

Firewood is at the singular state of firewood all the way. Ash is at the singular state of ash all the way. Birth and death are just like this. There is only birth at the time of birth. Similarly, death does not return to birth. There is only death at the time of death, and it is not birth. It's not that birth becomes death. Becomes is the key word here. This is explained using the metaphor of firewood and ash. This metaphor has a stronger tone than the previous one of the shore and the boat. In this metaphor, firewood represents birth and ash represents death. That's obvious. Now following this metaphor, you can clarify the original cause of birth and death and investigate thoroughly the settling point of birth and death according to the understanding of the Soto school. So the true Great Settled Mind cannot be attained through the power of Amida Buddha.

[41:52]

In other words, by supplication. or through the merit of chanting Buddha's name. The final guidance at the end of your life must be brought forth by you yourself while you are alive, and this is indeed necessary but hard to attain." In other words, you can't depend on anything but your own understanding. That's his understanding, and that's his understanding of the Soka school. The understanding of another school is that you make a plea to Amida Buddha, or you chant the name of Amida Buddha, that connects you with the universe. I don't see that that's wrong. But it's not the way of a social school. That's the way most Buddhists, many, many Buddhists practice. And anyway, but I think, strictly speaking, Zen practice comes down to your own understanding or your own

[42:54]

You have to come to it on your own. So first, firewood becomes ash, and then there's a pause. It does not become firewood again. Then there's another pause. Now look, how about this? This is the point of Dogen's great settled mind. Can each of you affirm this and attain the settled view? You may not be able to do it so quickly. So what this is referring to is like no coming and no going, because we're thinking in terms of going someplace.

[44:03]

We came from someplace and we're going someplace. So because when we come to that point of dying, we think, well, where am I going? Because we have the idea that we came from someplace and we're going someplace, and that life is moving along. So the reason for this is having learned about cause and effect in the three worlds and transmigration through the six realms. The six realms are heaven, hell, animals, hungry ghosts, fighting demons, you know, the six realms in the circle of transmigration. So having maintained the precepts, he's talking about how a person feels. having maintained the precepts and having practiced for good causes and good effects, you may have the conventional view of counting on what you cannot count on, and the wish to become a Buddha someday.

[45:08]

But upon hearing that firewood becomes ash and does not become firewood again, it may come up against your conventional view. In other words, I was such a good person, I did all these wonderful things, like Emperor Wu, in a sense. During services, funeral services, the doshi will say, go now. And to me it feels like, go now, and you're bringing up So, you know, we have these contradictions. Because we have these contradictions. But we understand that we have these contradictions. So it's not like you're really going somewhere.

[46:10]

The heart expresses our feelings as humans. Our expression. So the service is for us. It's all about us. Even though we think it's about them. It's about us. Yeah. Okay. You know, the universe will take... The universe... We think, well, the universe will take care of you when you're dead. But the universe is taking care of us while we're alive. It's the same way. Nothing's changed, you know. It's just that the universe is taking care of us in this form. And then the universe will take care of us. I mean, you know, conventionally speaking, us. in another form, you know, and we may have some influence on things. I don't know what that is. None of us knows what our influence is, but we like to think that we have influence. We like to make up a lot of things because we think in terms of continuity. This is the problem.

[47:16]

Continuity. This is the problem that Dogon is elucidating. basically, because we have the concept of continuation. That's why we talk about annihilation and eternalism, because we have the feeling that things are going someplace. But this says things are not going someplace. And Suzuki Roshi did say, The reason we're here is because we've always been here. We didn't come from some place. And when we are no longer in the birth process, so to speak, we come back to where we... We're not leaving any place. We didn't come from some place and we're not leaving it. This is the Tathagata. The thus come, thus gone.

[48:17]

Not coming from some place and not going some place. Maybe this is just more muck. Yeah, mental muck. A story you once told of Hulitsu Roshi speaking with you at the bedside. Yeah. It was very meaningful to me and in the situation, I think, where he said to the patient, don't worry, you're taking everything with you. Well, no, everything's going along with you. And you're also leaving everything behind. Yeah, I don't remember leaving everything behind, but that's OK. So it says something to our concept of karma, because how we've lived our lives leaves everything behind, has some influence. Yeah. I said, well, and so does Zen. You know, how do people think, how do the Japanese, so does Zen, think about when they say to somebody, what do they say to somebody when they're dying? And he said,

[49:19]

I said, what do you say to people when they're dying? He said, don't worry. Everything is going along with you. Everything is going with you. So it's not like you're leaving. It's not like you're leaving everything behind. Everything is arising with you and everything is leaving with you. People talk about the end of the world. Well, the end of whose world? The end of the world is coming, of course, for each one of us. Is it time to end already? Oh, it's getting there. It's a little over time. OK. That's OK. I'm going to read a little bit more because, you know, the juicy stuff is coming.

[50:26]

So, but upon hearing that firewood becomes ash and does not become firewood again, it may come up against your conventional view and you may be astonished and disappointed, but it doesn't help to see it that way. You should make an effort to realize this. After firewood becomes ash, it will never return to firewood. After the present you dies, you will never return to the former you. Returning is inevitably cut off. Even if you enshrine the Buddha's relics, the Buddha won't come along with them. Tathagatas in the ten directions are like firewood that perishes in the fire. As a matter of fact, that's what happens in India. All you can do is build a stupa and conduct a condolence ceremony. Dogen Zenji will not return and Bodhidharma will not be resurrected, except in some ways. In the same manner, the Nishyari of today will not be the Nishyari of tomorrow. And when the continuation of one lifetime stops, the former Nishyari will not appear again, contrary to many beliefs.

[51:53]

There really is this built-in contradiction in Soto Zen. As part of the Zuisei ceremony, you climb these these high stairs and pay respects to Dogen's relics, which are in this sort of statue of Dogen. So they play it both ways. Well, there's nothing wrong with paying respects to Dogen's relics, because that's the spirit. People revere relics. That's just culture. I mean, a lot of contradictions, seeming contradictions, always contradictions. You can say that's a contradiction. I don't contradict that. So today is only today. Yesterday is only yesterday. This is the landscape of discontinuation in the Dharmadhatu without self.

[52:58]

Because if there's no self, what is it that continues? You may think that Nisiyari of the present will continue without being cut off because cause and effect, or action and result, extend throughout the three worlds. But this is an ordinary view. The Nisiyari of today will never appear again, even in one million years. Birth does not become death. Birth is just birth. Death is just death. It doesn't mean that one becomes the other. And he keeps reaffirming this in various ways. And because we have a problem with it, what do you know? I don't hear him saying that there will be no Nishiyari of the future. He just says the Nishiyari of today will never return. Yeah, but I think he also thinks there's no Nishiyari of the future.

[54:00]

I'd like to just continue because I know you have questions, but if we just keep answering questions, I'll never get to anywhere. So birth does not become death. Death does not become birth. Birth is only birth. Death is only death. And they never overlap each other. It's either, like, where is the place where they meet? It's just like past and future. Where is the place that past and future meet? Well, in the present, right? But where is that present? As soon as you say the present, the present is already shifted. That line is already shifted. But there is a present that doesn't shift. That's permanence.

[55:06]

But I'm not going there. It's like the movie is over. When the movie is over. We're in the movie and we're totally experiencing the movie. Being is one dharma completely exerted in that movie, and then the movie's over. And then what? Oh, we go outside and it's, you know, little blind infants in the daytime, eyes are blinded, and you're in a different movie. No coming attractions. No coming attractions. Well, here there's no coming attractions. Therefore, we should experience all the way to the bottom today. That's what he's saying. The total exertion of one Dharma is we should totally experience what we're doing each moment today. Don't worry about tomorrow.

[56:10]

He's not telling you what is going to happen or not going to happen tomorrow. He just says, just experience this now. This is called practice. Just experience this now. That's why we said Zazen. Just experience this now, nothing else. Don't worry about when you're going to get up. Don't worry about when the bell's going to ring. As soon as you think, I wish the bell would ring, it's all over. You're no longer experiencing the total exertion of one dharma, or being totally alive. In order to understand and realize total death, you have to experience total life. That's exactly what he's saying. Well, I'm going to die, you know, so why should I make the bed? You probably thought that anyway.

[57:12]

So, you know, by totally being present in life, That's how you understand death. But if you try to make a difference between them, you have a problem. Siddhagiri, she said, there's no difference between life and death. But we always think there's a difference. And we emphasize the difference. Because we emphasize the difference, we have a problem. And that's what he's saying. And it's hard for us to wrap our mind around that. So we should open up to one phrase and practice just one practice and get all the way to the bottom of the independence of the Self, thoroughly experiencing this Earth. Even if you become a Buddha in the future, you of the present will never be seen.

[58:15]

It is just one time, one direction. If we think about it, what seems to be just an ordinary person's petty realm today is indeed very precious. That's a great statement, because we like to think of the wonderful side of our life as good, and the terrible side of our life as bad. But it's all, every moment, every single thing that happens is our life. And when we don't discriminate like and dislike, what's good and what's bad, what's right and what's wrong, then we can appreciate every moment of our life and live our life thoroughly. And when we live our life thoroughly, we can live our death thoroughly. That's what he's talking about. So in order to live our life thoroughly, we don't need to jump off a bridge with a bungee cord.

[59:27]

Not necessarily. Just whatever's happening is it. That's why it's so difficult for us. When we can appreciate our life, no matter what's happening moment after moment, that's called enlightenment. But the rest of it is delusion. If we don't appreciate it, we're just living in delusion. But delusion is our life, you know. We're living our life in delusion. If we realize what it is, then we can live our enlightened life within delusion. I think that's what Suzuki Roshi used to say, that Bodhisattva's life, Bodhisattva has the same attitude no matter what's happening.

[60:54]

And how he just said, if you're, a priest's life is like a glass that only has one side, perfectly round, but only has one side, and no shadows. It's always the same on any side, but it will hold whatever is put into it.

[61:24]

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