Morning. Morning. Morning. It's a great pleasure for me to introduce Michael Langer, whose dominant name is dying. You. The two of us go back. at San Francisco Zen Center. And when I became co-abbot of Zen Center, after the abbot, the preceding abbot had left, and Zen Center was in a kind of chaos, I was the abbot of Faith Street, nevertheless. And Michael was one of the three people who helped me to stabilize the practice, which took many years actually.

[01:17]

And so he was always a very faithful companion to me. And so we have a great, wonderful connection. But he was only the layperson. for a long time. And Michael, don't you want to be with me? How about being with me? And then one day I said, Michael, I'm going to go to Japan. Why don't you come with me and I'll ordain you at Rinzowen, where I was given Dharma transmission. It's a Vipassana temple. I said, how does it work? You know, we use the temple and I'll ordain you. He said, OK.

[02:20]

So we went to Japan, and when we got there, and it would be a great benefit to Jim Zinner. I like the last part. Michael's been always been a great benefit to Jim Zinner. When everything was in such chaos, Michael led the service and nobody said anything as a layperson because he was really a priest. He just wasn't ordained. So then I did a dharma transmission some years later, along with Vicky Oskin. We were going to do a dharma transmission... I'm going to give you this talk. We were doing a dharma transmission in San Juan.

[03:20]

I can't remember what year that was, 2002 or something. 99? 99. And there was a big fire in Tassajara, just like the last one. And flames were coming down over the hillside and the smoke and all that. And we were going about our business. And then the fireman came and he said, you have 20 minutes to leave. So we packed up all our stuff, went to the city, finished in the city. So anyway. Michael also has been kind of involved in this publishing side of this for a long time. And they have the education. So here he is. When he first came to the city, I was very suspicious of him.

[04:26]

He was coming into the city to lead us, and we had enough leaders that didn't have any followers that just charged. So I watched him closely, and I argued with him. And he welcomed it. He welcomed our disagreement. He welcomed my scrutiny. So that sold me on him. Moving along, the Ginjo Kalan begins, when all dharmas are the buddhadharma, there is delusion and realization, practice, life and death, buddhas and living beings. When the ten thousand things are without fixed self, there is no delusion, no realization, no buddhas and no living beings, no birth and no death. Since the Buddha way is by nature gone beyond the dichotomy of abundance and efficiency, there is the rising and perishing, delusion and realization, living beings and Buddhas.

[05:38]

Wow, that's big, right? That's why it's so important. The first is looking at the idea from Buddha's teaching. Second is from looking at it from emptiness. which is also Buddhist teaching. And the third is looking at it from the point of both emptiness and Buddhist teaching. But so what? The next part is the really good part. Flowers fall even though we love them. We grow even though we dislike them. Whatever your understanding is, that's the truth. You're not going to get anything from Buddhist understanding. You will get something, but not what you think you'll get. Things aren't going to go hunky-dory. People will die. Katagiri Roshi, my favorite story of his is they were doing some fundraising for him.

[06:44]

They hired a good room, had good food and flowers, and then they'd wheel him in and he'd say a few words and that would be that. So he came in and he said, You're all going to die. He wasn't holding back. He was telling the real truth. But they couldn't get out of there fast enough. So a lot of our good friends have died recently. My first Dharma Transcendent person, Dalai Kama, among them, Lou Hartley, Jerome Peterson, Rebecca, all great people with great heart. They didn't necessarily have Zen badges, but they didn't need them. If we try to listen to something wonderful, it means ignoring the birds that we are listening to now.

[08:02]

When you think Buddha said something wonderful, I must find out what he meant, then your mind is directed toward Buddha's words so that you don't hear the birds. So all of us just sacrifice actual reality because we stick to something. When we stick to something that looks like it's very good, But it's not so good. If we have this kind of attitude when we listen to words, or teachings even, we will lose our life. And maybe our whole life will be sacrificed because of some special teaching. So our way is rather to enjoy our life right now, without sacrificing. This is the kind of desire which human beings have. To some extent, desires we have are good. But if we are enslaved by desires, we lose whole being. This is a direction. I hear you.

[09:17]

One desires pleasures and fears a hard life. These are sentiments one entertains before leading the so-called pleasurable or hard life. After one is in it, one tries to think of the envy and the fear and finds the fear gone. Then where are the pleasurable and unpleasurable thoughts after they are passed? They seem to be like a sound, a shadow, a breeze, or a dream. Even these four things are somehow more tangible. Besides, how is one ever going to find happiness by countering one illusion with another illusion? I wish I could express this deep truth to you, but I cannot. Sutton Poe, 1088. After I got back from Tassajara in the late 70s, I was very unhappy.

[10:32]

But I loved studying the Lotus Sutra. So I studied the Lotus Sutra for the rest of my life. It was miserable. However, The love sutra is so sneaky. All of a sudden I realize my life is a love sutra. There is nothing outside. Sometimes I have to do that. So it's when we're in difficult times that our practice really comes through.

[11:44]

Things are going well, we can coast. But when we're up against it, that's when we have to see where our real intention is. Is our intention to be comfortable? Well, a little bit. It doesn't hurt. The comfort is fleeting. I used to be in charge of many big events. And on the day of the big event, everybody would get very excited and be very terse with each other. Don't you know I'm busy? Me too, I'd be like that. But then I realized, now this is really interesting. Can I get the jobs done and be friendly? As if friendly was a secondary aspect of the job. And then it really became interesting to do the job.

[12:51]

I was really, it wasn't about, it was a bigger way of looking at what I was doing. And I would tell the people I'm working with, get the job done, but do it with ease. Do it with being friendly to people. Take a breath. You can stir a breath. in the city, standing up a little bit. this kotsu I found and I I think it's underneath what's that?

[14:28]

This kotsu is a stick. I'm looking at it. This is a sugar microphone. Which I found and cut in half. And gave half to Darlene Cohen, who was my first Donald Translated student. So when people die, they don't really die. I mean, they die. But they're still with us. We're still in dialogue with them. We're still arguing with them. We're still agreeing with them. It's a different relationship, but it's one nevertheless. What's that for?

[15:55]

That's the recording. Oh, it's recording, okay. Yeah, I'm going to project your voice. Okay. So in times of tough... Well, I always say that Zen practice is falling down and getting up. If you don't fall down, you don't learn anything. If you don't get up, you don't learn anything. Fall down and get up. When times are tough, I remind myself, oh, this is the interesting time. Not the time I can coast or go to sleep on. So I recently had an idea that maybe I should start off on my own again. I gave a talk about this in San Luis Obispo and they said, that was the most important thing.

[16:58]

You're my age, at 63, and you can start something new. It's not over. You can begin again. I would encourage all of you, or whatever age you are, to begin again. Find out what you want to do and go do it. Don't hold back. Sorry for Buddhist talk, but... Do you have any questions? I thought I laid it all out. Yes. Thank you, Michael.

[17:58]

Could you choose one piece of the Lotus Sutra that you found evocative and spoke to you and validated your life in a way? My life doesn't need validation. Your life doesn't need validation. It's valid. It doesn't need the Lotus Sutra to give you any badges. But anyhow, I follow the Buddha together with the Buddha, confound the reality of all existence. Only a Buddha together with a Buddha can fathom the reality of all existence. It turns out this is a mistranslation, but it's a translation that's used in Japan. Another thing that speaks to me is there's a burning house. This room now is burning. It's a fire. And we shouldn't play like little kids with our toys. It's okay to play a little bit. Is that okay?

[19:01]

Yes. Thank you so much for coming and speaking to us. What would be your thumbnail advice for how to break procrastination? Don't waste time. Usually the third time around you say, I've been there before. Try to break the chain. But if you try to break the chain, usually you break it in the same way that you tried before. You know, Lou Hartman, bless him, was a great spirit. He did everything with great spirit. But every time he would give a talk, it would be the same talk. And he would say, I've got a brand new insight. But insight may be overrated. His life was not. Why did you scream?

[20:06]

I had an idea of what it was while you were screaming. Last time I would scream. Thank you. That's all. Sometimes the world is just like that. Why did you scream? Because you invited me to. It was fun. Is this how you hear the birds? Sometimes it helps to erase things so I can start anew.

[21:08]

Sometimes the pain is just too great, I need to express it. And then I can let it go, maybe. How do you hear the birds? By baking bread? Good advice for a lecturer. Yes. I'm referring to what you say about illusion and whoever it was who sinned. Sins have power. It can't be one illusion with another illusion.

[22:11]

Right. Some time ago, I guess this recurs sometimes to me, but I lost a being who was very dear to me and I was grieving and I thought how nice it would be if I had some idea of heaven or an afterlife where I would see that being again and we would be together again. And I tried a little moment, just for a few minutes, experiment as if I really believed that. I don't, but I tried to put myself in the frame of mind of someone who would believe that. And yeah, I felt a lot better. I felt much happier, but I didn't allow myself to hold on to that.

[23:14]

I really had to deal with the loss. That's what it was. That's good to deal with the loss, because there is a loss. However, to believe that there isn't something and if you believe that there is something, there's some bias going on. Why believe one thing and not the other? You should believe both or believe neither. But to believe your mind and not your body or your heart, it's not so good. People lose their whole life by thinking up here, living in a map. Who cares what you think about? What do you feel? I guess I'm talking about thinking at the expense of other modes. Thinking is a fine mode. We wouldn't be better with lobotomies. I'm all for thinking.

[24:15]

But thinking is overrated. It was a hard thing at first, so I didn't want to... to... I wanted a way out. Okay, please take a way out. Okay, I want to try an exercise now. Put all of your anger, uneasiness, Take it outside of yourself and put it on the bowing mat. Don't worry, you'll come back to it.

[25:18]

Don't have separation anxiety. It'll be there when you're ready. Get rid of it just for a few breaths. And then like a telephone, take somebody else's anxiety or depression or anger and share it with yourself. Believe yours in there. Now go back to the status quo of yours.

[26:21]

You got your stuff and then people cut theirs. We just countered one illusion with another illusion. Can I leave now or do I have to stay longer?

[26:53]

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