I vow to taste the truth of the Tathagata's words. Good morning. So yesterday we had the story of the Buddha's passing and then we had the power nirvana ceremony. And today I'd like to talk about a koan that has been with me for a very long time. I think I came upon it very early in my practice life here when I was reading through the Blue Cliff Record and it resonated and it has stayed resonant as I'm always exploring it. You know, I think yesterday there was some A question raised because we had those confirmation students here, which was actually great, and the question came up whether a 13-year-old is thinking about death.

[01:17]

From the inside out, my feeling is, well, some are and some aren't. perhaps with my own morbid personality, I've been thinking about this since, believe it or not, since I was in nursery school. I don't know why. I remember, I don't know what it was like when you were a child. Some of us, when we were children, it actually felt great to be sick, because you stayed home from school, and sometimes you could stay in your parents' bed, and you could read books and watch TV and make models all day. I don't know if that's true for any of you. It's like, oh, this is great. You never felt that terrible. Or if you did, you don't remember that. And I remember, I know it was nursery school because that was the only time that there was a bus that came to pick me up at home. So I was homesick and, you know, I was watching TV, which was fairly simpler and more rudimentary in those days.

[02:34]

And it was like some public, I would watch anything, you know, so long as it was moving. Some public service announcement, it was about, I think it was about heart disease. And showed this kind of middle-aged businessman with his briefcase running, running, running hard, trying to catch a bus. And the bus, of course, you know, is pulling away. And he gets there and he clutches his chest. You know, he's having a heart attack. And it's like the message was, never run for a bus, there'll always be another one. Actually, that goes along with the Ann Aitken story yesterday. When the bus comes, you just step up and get on. But don't run for it. So that really impressed me. The next day, the bus came.

[03:35]

I just got there. The bus came to the street in front of our driveway. And the driver blew his horn. And I just very slowly, with my lunchbox in hand, walked very slowly to the bus. You know, I don't know what to, intimations of mortality? Yeah, I think so. And, you know, some strange, precognition at the age of eight, there was no evident heart disease in my family at that point, but there really is. And as some of you know, I became, I had clinical symptoms of arterial disease from the age of 40 and have had a couple of procedures, but it's like, do we know these things in our body somewhere?

[04:38]

Who knows? So I don't discount the fact that some 13-year-olds or 8-year-olds have some awareness or have this really serious question about birth and death, just as Dogen did. at his mother's funeral when I think he was 11, something like that, I can't remember. But watching the, he was quite young, watching the incense rising over his mother's coffin. He was nailed by the thought of impermanence and that led him directly into wanting to take up a Buddhist practice to explore this question. So the case that I'd like to talk about today is case 55 from the Blue Cliff Record, which is known as Dawu's Condolence Call.

[05:44]

It's also in Dogen's 300-koan collection of the Shobo Genzo. It's case 29. So I'll read you the basic case and then we can talk about it a bit. So Engo's introduction says, absolute truth, direct enlightenment, positive activity, immediate understanding. Quick as sparks and lightning, he cuts through the complications. Sitting on the tiger's head and grasping its tail, he is still like a thousand-foot cliff. Be that as it may, is there any case for giving a clue for others' sake?

[06:52]

See the following. So that's the pointer. And the case is this. Da Wu and Qin Yuan went to a house to make a condolence call. Yuan hit the coffin and said, alive or dead? Wu said, I won't say alive. and I won't say dead." Yuan said, why won't you say? Wu said, I won't say. Halfway back as they were returning, Yuan said, tell me right away, teacher. If you don't tell me, I'll hit you. Wu said, you may hit me, but I won't say. Yuan then hit him. Later, Da Wu passed on.

[07:58]

Yuan went to Xi Shuang and brought up the foregoing story. Shuang said, I won't say alive and I won't say dead. Yuan said, why won't you say? Shuang said, I won't say, I won't say. At these words, Yuan had an insight. One day Yuan took a hoe into the teaching hall and crossed back and forth from east to west and west to east. Shuang said, what are you doing? Yuan said, I'm looking for relics of our late master. Hsuang said, vast waves spread far and wide, foaming billows flood the skies. What relics of our late master are you looking for? Se Cho, the compiler of the Blue Cliff Record says, added a comment saying, heavens, heavens.

[09:09]

Yuan said, in response to Hsuang, this is just where I should apply effort. And then there's a verse. Hares and horses have horns. Cows and goats have none. It is quite infinitesimal. It piles up mountain high. The golden relic exists. It still exists now. foaming waves wash the sky. Where can you put it? Nowhere. The single sandal returned to India and is lost forever." So, that's the case. Now, just a little background. Dawu, known in Japanese as Dogo,

[10:17]

name means enlightened path or way. He was a disciple of Yaoshan who we chant in our Buddhas and Ancestors, Yakusan Igen. And he was also the Dharma brother under Yaoshan of Yunyan, who's in our lineage as Ungan Donjo, who was Tozan, one of the founder of the Soto school's teacher. Yunyan was, or Ungan was Tozan's teacher. They're, just to say they're wonderful stories about these two Dharma brothers, Dao Wu and Yun Yan, who practiced for many years with Yaoshan. One of them, you may remember, someone brought it up yesterday, from when Lori was Shuso.

[11:23]

you know, these stories are about, there's usually something happening and, you know, some activity. And I think this is what it says in the, you know, it points to what's said in the pointer, positive activity, immediate understanding. So in this story, which you might remember, once when Yun Yan was sweeping, Da Wu said to him, too hurried. You're rushing. Yuan, Yun Yan said, you should know that there is something that is, there is someone who is not busy or who is not in a hurry. Da Wu said, in that case, there is a second moon. Yun Yan held up the broom and said, which moon is this? Da Wu went off. I'm not going to go into that, but I just want to give you a flavor and let all these things just kind of work in you.

[12:36]

There's another story between them which I hadn't heard before and I found last night, which I like very much. Also, this interaction between Yunyan and Dawu. One day Dawu picked up his hat to go out Yun Yan pointed at the hat and said, what does this do? Da Wu said, it has a use. Yun Yan said, if you suddenly encountered a violent storm, then what? Da Wu said, it would cover me. Yun Yan said, does the hat also have a cover? And I don't think he meant one of those plastic things that goes over your stetson. Union said, does the hat also have a cover? Da Wu said, yes it does, but its cover never leaks.

[13:40]

I think it's a wonderful story. Its cover never leaks. This is the stainless, impermeable covering of all existence that is simultaneously outside and inside. It doesn't leak because there is nothing that's outside of it and it covers everything. So I think this is a kind of background in a way for this case. The other protagonist in this case, Chen Yuan, was a disciple of Dao Wu, and he was the Dharma brother of Master Xishuang, whose temple he goes to later.

[14:49]

They were both students of Dao Wu's. And following this particular story, as far as I understand, he doesn't appear again in the Zen record. So, let's go to the case. Da Wu and Chen Yuan went to a house to make a condolence call. So this is very unusual, actually. Not so common. Some of the commentators say this has almost never happened. Other commentators say, in these days in China, a monk would go to a house

[15:53]

if the person in the house was actually a disciple, was a practitioner. So I think that's very likely. But it's, still there's something unusual there. So they go to the house, and I believe that the coffins were usually open. At least initially, at least they would have left it open before the priests came. And so they were viewing the body and Yuan Yu hit the coffin and said, alive or dead? Da Wu said, I won't say alive and I won't say dead. This is a very pressing question.

[16:58]

This matter of birth and death is also known as the great matter in our practice. This is what we have to work on. I was reading, evidently, Carl Jung said something like in patients that he had over the age of 40, almost invariably their analysis, their psychoanalysis was about death, the concern that we have. So you have a young monk who has this very deep question. who is literally face-to-face with a community member's body.

[18:02]

And he's there in the presence of his teacher. And so naturally, he asks a question. And it's an intense question. And Da Wu is not gonna give a clue. You know, he's not going to answer this question for him. But the question's very pressing, and Chunyuan presses further, and doesn't get an answer, and they're walking back. back to the temple, just the two of them, and he says, if you don't tell me, I'm gonna hit you. And Dao says, well, okay, you know, you can hit me, but I'm still not gonna tell you. And then he does hit him. Now, you know, it's like, just picture it, right?

[19:07]

probably punches him. This is a very, this is an extreme action. There's all kinds of Zen stories about hitting, it's almost always initiated by the teacher in the context of a highly concentrated Dharma exchange. for the student to hit the teacher is very unusual. And in some of the commentary, in Ingo's commentary, the further story is that after he did that, there was no bad blood between them. I mean, Dawu understood This is the expression of a really true question, a burning natural koan.

[20:20]

Nonetheless, he said to Chinyuan, you know, I think it would be better if you left. Not to dismiss him out of anger, but because as some of us know in community, there are no secrets. Sooner or later, everything comes out. And he was afraid for what the other community members would do to Chin Yuan if they found out that he had hit the teacher. So he sent him to another teacher, and he sent him, and Chinyuan went around on pilgrimage. But he kept this question, and it was not resolved. After a time, Dawu passes away. Chinyuan is still practicing. He hasn't been discouraged by being sent away.

[21:25]

He hasn't let go of this question. And he went to Xishuang, who had practiced with him at Daowu's place and who had been established as a teacher on his own mountain. And, you know, he tells him about his relationship with Daowu and tells him that whole story, which is really the turning point of Qin Yuan's life. And Xishuang says, and he asks the same question of Xishuang. And Xishuang says, I won't say alive and I won't say dead. Same words. Whether it's actually the same response, this is something we have to explore. Yuan said, why won't you say? Xishuang said, I won't say, I won't say. prodding him, you know, again, just taking like an awl or a knife and prodding him in that very, very raw and sensitive spot at the core of his being.

[22:42]

And with that prod, Yuan had an insight. I like this translation. I'm trying to see what... Other translation, Dido says, Yuan immediately realized it. So this is not necessarily the conclusive end of birth and death, but it was an opening, a letting go. The question itself disappeared. So then a little later, Chinyuan took a hoe into the teaching hall. When I first read this, I misread it. I thought, oh, he took a hoe into the yard. But actually, he took it into the Dharma hall. And he's crossing back and forth, east to west and west to east,

[23:50]

creating his own personal private ritual. I feel it's a ritual of gratitude. To my way of reading this story, this probably falls relatively soon after this exchange with Xishuang, not long after. And Xishuang comes in and says, what are you doing? And Chinuan said, I'm looking for relics of our late master. It's kind of a funny way to do it, you would think. It's hard to say what was going on there. My sense is, that he was paying his respects to Dawu in the sense that Dawu's relics, the remains of his teaching, what was really concentrated and purified.

[25:19]

You know there's this whole tradition of relics that come from cremations. They're called sharira. They are little kind of crystalline stones that remain when the body is cremated. And in a lot of Buddhist traditions, after the cremation, particularly of a well-known monk or teacher, people sift through the ashes looking for these relics. The relics of the Buddha were divided into eight portions, and then they were further divided. There's supposedly a relic of the Buddha on the roof of the, and a stupa on the roof of the, San Francisco Buddhist temple, the Jodo Shinshu temple. And I think there was a relics, did anyone go to the relics tour?

[26:21]

There was a relics tour a few years ago here. Relics from all these great teachers and ancestors, including the Buddha. So he was looking for the relics and he was saying, Chinyuan to me was saying, Dao's real relics are here in this Dharma Hall. But Qishuang has a broader view and says, vast waves spread far and wide, foaming billows flood the skies. What relics of our late master are you looking for? And Qin Yuan said, this is just where I should apply effort. To me, I think what he's saying is, Yeah, you're right. I was still coming from my limited view. My limited view that the relics were a teaching, as if the teaching were a thing.

[27:29]

Whereas the true relics of my master are the entire world. the vast waves that spread everywhere, the foaming billows that flood the sky, the cover that covers my hat. So you could say that in this exchange, Daowu is coming from the view of the inseparability of birth and death. And I think this relates very much to, there's a wonderful fascicle, we don't study much, we should, it's very short, from Dogen, it's called Birth and Death, Shoji.

[28:42]

It's only one page actually. It's in Munadudra. Birth and death is the life of Buddha. If you try to exclude it, you will lose the life of Buddha. If you cling to it, trying to remain in it, you will also lose the life of Buddha. And what remains will be the mere form of Buddha. Only when you don't dislike birth and death or long for them do you enter Buddha's mind. However, do not analyze or speak about it. This is what Van Wu, what Da Wu was doing. He was not willing to analyze or speak about it. However, do not analyze or speak about it This is one of my favorite phrases, just set aside your body and mind, forget about them, and throw them into the house of the Buddha.

[29:49]

Throw them into the house of the Buddha. So this is, to me, this is exactly in line with the pointer. where the pointer says, the pointer begins with this point. So Dogen says, just set aside your body and mind, forget about them, and throw them into the house of the Buddha. Engo says, absolute truth, direct enlightenment, positive activity. Throwing yourself into the house of the Buddha is positive activity. Punching your teacher, is positive activity. Sending your student away to find the truth for herself is positive activity. Positive activity, immediate understanding. Dogen goes on and says, throw yourself into the house, throw them into the house of Buddha, then all is done

[31:00]

by the Buddha. When you follow this, you are free from birth and death and become a Buddha without effort or calculation. And then he's got this condensation, this very highly concentrated, highly distilled teaching, which is, I think it's really accessible and it seems unusual to me for Dogen. He says, there's a simple way to become a Buddha. When you refrain from unwholesome actions, are not attached to birth and death, and are compassionate towards all sentient beings, respectful to seniors, kind to juniors, not excluding or desiring anything, with no designing thoughts or worries, you will be called a Buddha. Do not seek anything else. Now, if only we could do that.

[32:03]

If only we could do that. This is the hard part. This is, to me, so if Dao is coming from this place of inseparability, Chinyouan is coming from the view of difference. The question that's framed by this koan or by all koans is like, where do they meet in each of us? How do we embody the entirety of this? You know, we give lip service to the fact that birth and death are the great matter. We know they are. I mean, I knew this at six years old somehow. Everybody knows this in their body to some extent.

[33:05]

And no matter how much we try to understand that this is a natural process, we have fear and anxiety about it. We have fear of losing ourselves We have fear of losing those that we love. I suspect that because of the inseparability of body and mind, I think of this as a, there's a physiological basis for it. I feel that I've experienced that in circumstances where I've approached death. And it's very interesting, in those approaches, in the actual approaches themselves, I didn't experience anxiety.

[34:08]

In the aftermath, when I had recovered a bit, there was terrible anxiety, terrible fear. after an illness about 20 years ago, I had to deal with that fear in a very physical way for almost a year. Really living with it intimately. People who have, some people who have cancer, people who have serious diseases, have to live with this all the time. How we live with it is exactly the essence of our practice. Because this is a matter of earth-shaking importance. If we don't get this straight, our own lives

[35:19]

risk falling into hellishness and despair. If we don't get this straight in the realm of our society, we have wars, we have murder, we have shameful neglect, all driven by our inability to actually meet the anxiety that comes up to carry it. And this is where I have great admiration for Chin Yuan because he's willing, he carried this question for years. He knew it was a burning question and he didn't let go of it. until he had actually met it with the help of all of his teachers.

[36:30]

So I think I will... Oh, there's one more thing. Dido has a... I just want to close with this. Dido Lurie has a commentary on this case. And in the final line of the poem, He adds this commentary, the final line, I'm sorry, the final line, yeah, it's the final line of the poem. No, it's the final line of Cetro's commentary. It says, there's no place to put this gigantic body. And Daito says, that means that any conceivable resting place is contained within this very body.

[37:39]

This body being your body, my body, which is, seems like it's confined within this bag of skin, but really is limitless, just like the billows and waves. That means that any conceivable resting place is contained within this very body. Thus, there's no place to put it. There's no place to put this gigantic body. There's nothing to compare it to. It's not like something. He writes, do you see what I mean? And then Dido adds a verse that I like. If I have it. Yes.

[38:42]

In arriving, not an atom is added. Thus, life is called the unborn. In departing, not a particle is lost. Thus, death is called the unextinguished. In arriving, not an atom is added. Thus, life is called the unborn. In departing, not a particle is lost. Thus, death is called the unextinguished. And I'll leave you with just to close with two very short haiku that I think are relevant. This is by the 18th century poet Isa. When his baby daughter died, and he was a Buddhist practitioner, You're supposed to be unattached, right? When his baby daughter died, he said, he wrote, the dewdrop world is the dewdrop world.

[39:52]

And yet, and yet, and then later, he said, it's another poem, in the dewdrop of this dewdrop world. Such quarrels. So maybe you have a comment or question or thought. Ria. I'm just wanting to know where that piece from Dogen came from. I don't even know where it came. Where did you find it? Oh, it's in Muniridu Drop. It's called Shoji, a very short fascicle. I think it's like page 74 or something. It was one of Kategori Roshi's favorite fascicles.

[40:57]

Yeah. Dean? Yeah, that was in Dogen, right. Well, as we've heard many times, giving a talk is making a mistake on purpose. You heard that? Does that make sense?

[42:04]

So how we talk about these things is important. the effort that I've made, whether I succeeded or not, was to lay these questions before you without trying to answer them for you. I can explore it to some extent personally, but not to try to...so I can't Beyond a certain point, I'm incapable of analyzing or speaking. I trust that that's probably true for you. And the real work is for each of us to find our true response to this story, to the reality of our own impermanent existence. So that's as far as my analysis will go, in the same way that there's no, in all of this commentary, there's no real analysis of the dialogue between Dawu and Xinyuan.

[43:13]

So we explore these things as a way of just engaging ourselves, rather, you know, as a way of coming to awareness, oh, I should look at this. This would be a good thing to look at. This has some resonance for me. And if it has resonance, good. And if it doesn't, you'll find another question. Does that make sense? Yeah, is it kind of what you're saying is that it's kind of like trying to stay awake during the day, here, today, yesterday? It's kind of like we're not analyzing staying awake. We're not staying awake. We're mostly spending time on We're actually doing how rather than thinking how. You try this, you try that. Your whole life is just trying one thing after another.

[44:16]

and exploring it and seeing what unfolds from that and following our intention. If our intention is to stay awake, well, we make some effort to do that, but sometimes it's just, the sleep is just completely unavoidable and we don't judge ourselves for that. So Alan, are we alive or are we dead? Well, I don't want to say I won't say, because that's too glib. You're completely alive. I'm completely alive. That's all I know. I know that right now. I think that's all I can say about it. We miss their voice, their touch. Atoms are not lost.

[45:36]

The law of thermodynamics and conservation of energy and matter applies, but a person that we're so used to, we miss. That's part of, that's, so that's exactly the question. That's the question. That's Chin Yuen's question, I think. It's not a stupid question. It's not a light question. It's a really, really serious question. we missed those who were gone, right? And even the Buddha, I was very taken with that line.

[46:44]

I hadn't come upon it before when he has news that Chariputra and Moggayana had passed away. And he looks at it and said, oh, there's something missing from the Sangha as I look out over it. So this is, and this is just like the poem, this dewdrop world, and yet, and yet, you know, from one perspective to see it as just the unfolding of impermanence, yeah, and that's true. That's like the working of the universe, and we have some equanimity about it, and yet. I love that. This is our, our alive human capacity is actually our empathy or our compassion.

[47:46]

Yeah. And being a psychologist, I said, and maybe worry that mom and dad will die. And she went, no. And you know, I kind of went, no. And she looked at me and she said, if you and mom don't die, how's there going to be room for me and my friends when we Well, thank you. I think we should probably end. Tomorrow, by the way, what I'm thinking about doing is reading you a little bit from the end of this wonderful Tolstoy story, The Death of Ivan Illich. Do people know that? It has an enlightenment experience at the end. It's a horrible story with a really happy ending.

[49:34]

But just to do that and then actually have an open discussion. So thank you very much. Maintain your effort and your questioning mind.

[49:46]

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