Faith and Person: Where Are You From?

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ADZG Three Day Sesshin,
Dharma Talk

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Good morning. Good morning. I'm speaking this weekend about some issues arising from a particular story, case 32 of the Book of Serenity. I'll read the introduction to it again. The ocean is the world of dragons. Disappearing and appearing, they sport serenely. The sky is the home of cranes. They fly and call freely. Why does the exhausted fish stop in the shoals and a sluggish bird rest in the reeds? Is there any way to figure gain and loss? So that's just a little introduction. And I'm going to see if I can do this. I'm going to try and read through the whole story without stopping to comment. This is a story about Yangshan, a 9th century great Chinese master.

[01:05]

And once he asked a monk, where are you from? And the monk said, from Yu province. Yangshan said, do you think of that place? The monk said, I always think of it. Yangshan said, the thinker is the mind. That which is thought of is the environment. Therein are mountains, rivers, and the landmass. buildings, towers, halls, chambers, people, animals, and so forth. Reverse your thought to think back to the mind that thinks. Are there so many things there? The monk said, when I get here, I don't see any existence at all. Yangshan said, this is right for the stage of faith, but not yet right for the stage of person. The monk said, don't you have any other particular way of guidance?

[02:06]

Yangshan said, to say that I have anything particular or not would not be accurate. Based on your insight, you get this one mystery. You can take your seat and wear the robe. After this, see on your own. So there are many, many aspects of this story. But just to go through it somewhat, the young shun asked the monk, where are you from? And the monk said, from Yu province. which happened to be the name of a province in China at the time. And there's this bilingual party. Where are you from? And, you know, we all have places we can say we grew up in, but also here, today, where are you from?

[03:11]

Or the next inhale and exhale, the next random thought traveling by. Where are you from? How does this arise? How is it that we are all here? Sharing the space together today. Anyway, the Yangshan asked the monk, do you think of that place? And this monk who I feel was very diligent, very good monk, I always think of him. He might have said other things. He might have said, oh, I'm beyond thinking. Or he might have said, oh, I'm thinking about the Buddha up in the Tushita Heaven or whatever. I mean, there are many things he might have said.

[04:13]

But no, he was very honest and humble. I always think of him. And that's a good practice. Where are you from? Can you always think it? And I have to, based on various discussions yesterday, I have to make some qualifiers about this word think, but I'll come back to that. Yangshan said, the thinker is the mind, or that which thinks is the mind, and the thought of, that which is thought of, is the environment. So all of our environment, as it degrades and is poisoned, is what we think of. And part of what this saying is about, well, Young Chan Kowaso goes on to say, the area in our mountains, rivers, and landmass, buildings, towers, halls, chambers, people, animals, and so forth, all of that's right here.

[05:15]

The whole environment is on your cushion or chair now. in this room right now. Obviously, anything we think of, any aspect of the mind that is that which is thought of, so there's the mind that thinks and there's the mind that is thought of, but it's all, you know, it couldn't be anywhere else but right here. How can what you think be somewhere else? So, in some sense, it's all right here. We are deeply interconnected. And I can make up things to say, like, I don't know, how many of you have ever been in West Virginia? Well, several. Half a dozen of us. OK. So now, West Virginia, what does that mean? Well, there's a song. It used to be part of Virginia before stuff happened in the Civil War.

[06:19]

Now they're taking off the tops of the mountains get coal. Anyway, there's various things we can say about West Virginia, but that's just the things that I think of right now, or many of the people, you know, those of you who've been there could say other things about it. And of course, you know, any experience that anyone had in West Virginia or any other state is just what we think of it right here now. It's not the reality of The crashed plane I saw on a hillside where I was camping in the beautiful mountains of West Virginia many years ago. Anyway, whoever was in it had been in that plane. It's all right here. So there's that which thinks and there's that which is thought of. Now, I want to qualify this. To use the word think, some people think that the word think means kind of discriminative thinking.

[07:21]

linear thinking, discursive thinking, that I think about this thing. So what's meant here? Maybe that's included, but what's meant here is something much broader. So the one who apprehends, the one who feels, the one who senses whatever is going on right is what is being called here the thinker. So it's not just about thinking, that's only one of the six senses in Buddhism. So anything that you feel or sense or are aware of or apprehend in any way, that's what's being talked about here. The one who feels that, that's the mind. That which is felt is the environment. that which is apprehended as the environment, and it's all right here. Okay, then we get to this basic meditation instruction, which I've encouraged people this weekend to try on.

[08:25]

And it's okay if you don't, and if it feels, if it's irritating to you, forget about it. But what Yangshan says is, reverse your thought to think of the thinking mind. Turn your thinking or your feeling or your sensing to think, to be aware of that which is able to feel or sense or be aware or apprehend or think. Turn, reverse your thoughts and think of the thinking mind. He says, well, there's so many things there. So this is an actual practice. It's one of the basic practices in Buddhism. the version of it that Dogen says in his General Instructions for Zaza and Fukunsen Sengi, he says, take the backward step and turn your light inwardly to illuminate the self. The body and mind of themselves will drop away and your original face will manifest.

[09:26]

So, as we sit facing the wall or facing the floor, facing ourselves, the kind of direction You know, we keep our ears open, we keep our eyes open, we're aware of the wall in front of us generally, you know, sounds may, we may be aware of the sound of the air conditioning or people ushering in the room or a cough or whatever, but to be, to turn our attention inward. So Dogon also talks about this as to study the self, to study the ways to study the self. So everything is right here, first of all. Anything we think about is the environment. There may be things in the environment we haven't thought of yet, and when they come into our awareness, then also it's here, right here.

[10:29]

But if we're not aware of them yet, then Well, it don't exist on some level. Now, I'm not saying there's no objective reality. Well, I'm not saying that there's no reality that's beyond your awareness. Of course, part of our awareness is to open and develop the flower and to pay attention to the world we live in and to ourselves and to the people sitting next to you or the people you're involved with in your life and so forth. And yet, anyway, there's this way to see the wholeness of that as mind and environment. And, you know, we can dissect it in some discriminating way into subject and object. Everything is either a subject or object or, you know, maybe it's a verb. that through which subjects and objects interact. But I'm not talking about language, and I'm not talking even about discursive thinking here.

[11:33]

What is it we sense? And to turn our attention in. So according to early epidermal psychology, I mentioned it yesterday, I think, that in any state of mind, they analyze the various kinds of mental states. And always there's some I think the translation is adverting attention. There's something that we're aware of. Awareness can't exist without... That which thinks, or that which is aware, cannot exist without that which we are aware of. Or that which awareness is aware of. Awareness is... Anyway, there's some attention going on all the time. And it may be random, and it may be foggy, and it may be sleepy, but always something is in front of us. And just to see that, we keep our eyes open.

[12:34]

So there's this actual practice, and for the day or the rest of the weekend, you're welcome to try that as you sit, as you just sit. And it doesn't have to be something extra. If it gets in the way, if you're just enjoying being present and upright and breathing, forget about it. But part of what's going on is turning the light in with it. It's possible as you're sitting in a given period of zazen to be thinking about some situation that you imagine is somewhere else. you know, whatever your workplace is and trying to figure out how to deal with, you know, some person there or something like that. You can sit on your cushion and do that. It's possible. Some of you may have experienced, you know, in the past that you might have been thinking about something while you're sitting.

[13:40]

It's okay if you do that. Continue just sitting. But there's also this possibility of just turning your attention away from some situation, that's also part of what's going on when you're cushioned in a chair, to look back at that which is aware of that situation. You know, there are ways in our tradition of practicing with some situation that we are caught up in. Get your koans about that. But anyway, turn your awareness back to be aware of that which is aware. This is a way of becoming of meeting undivided mind, undivided attention. Everything is right here. So Yangchen asked this monk to do that, and again in these stories we don't know if when the monk responds, if they respond immediately or there's one

[14:41]

One of my favorite stories where it says the monk went away and sat like an Ivan Pole for eight years before he came back and responded. So we don't know how long it took, but maybe, this monk was very good, so maybe he just said, when Yangshun said, when you, there are inner mountains, rivers, lakes, avenues, and so forth, and there's so many things there, and the monk said, when I get here, when I'm really here, I don't see any existence at all. And in the commentary, and maybe I'll come back to it, I mentioned yesterday, it talks about how really that's kind of, in some ways, an ultimate achievement of meditative practice, to see emptiness. Not just as some idea, but to really realize that there's no separate thing we can get a hold of. We can see this in terms of impermanence. We can see this in terms of mutual causality, everything is, you know, we can't name all of the situations and conditions that allowed any one of you to be here today.

[15:51]

Of course there's, you know, how you got here, you know, you walked or took a car or you were on the L or whatever, but also, well, you know, you can start somewhere trying to name them all, but Anyway, I think that's a pointless exercise. So, there's nothing that, what the monk says, when I get here, I don't see anything existing at all. There's no single thing that I can point to or hold on to that's not part of all of it. It's not just this activity, this activity. sounds coming out of my mouth, you're hearing some of them, aware of some sensation in your knee or of cooler warmth. Anyway, everything's going on right now. You can't get a hold of any of it.

[16:53]

And then Yangshan says this really strange thing. He says, that's okay for the stage of faith, but not yet right for the stage of person. So I want to talk about that mostly today, just that sentence. First of all, this English word faith is problematic because we think of it in terms of Western ideas of faith, and a lot of those have to do with belief, like I have faith in something up there, or some teaching I heard, or some text, or whatever. What I believe that Yangshan is talking about, you know, the character Shin, which is given in some dharma names, but anyway, it can be translated as faith, but it's also kind of trust, devotion, total devotion, conviction, commitment.

[17:58]

So this monk was I was going to say sure of himself, but he wasn't sure of some self. He was sure that there was nothing he could get a hold of. This is a wonderful, wise apprehension. So I want to kind of speak up for the stage of, I don't know what, devotion, commitment. I don't want, there's no one single word that works. So I guess I could call it the stage of faith. Yanchen says it's not yet right for the stage of person, so I want to talk about that too. But, you know, this idea of stages, this idea of,

[19:00]

our practice as getting to some place at the end of various stages. So in Buddhism there are many, many, many different versions of the path. The roadmaps to get to nirvana, enlightenment, world peace, I don't know, whatever. And yet, if we set up something like that, we can't be here. If we think we have to get somewhere else, then you can't really be in this body and mind here today. Now, I don't mean to demean all of the wonderful Buddhists and other teachings where they talk about various stages, you know, and conventionally, conditional, and maybe That might be useful at times to see where you're at, you know, so for school students to know that they're in 9th grade or 10th grade or 11th grade.

[20:04]

Oh, okay. Or that you have this degree or that degree, you know, whatever. We have, in the conditioned conventional world, we have those things. But we're not talking about that today. How do you... So actually the stage of a person talks about that. How do you take responsibility for the person on your cushion or chair now? How do you bring this person to life? This is all about how to become alive, how to really bring meaning into your life for the sake of all of us. So the stage of person is where we actually take responsibility. Each person here in this room right now is absolutely essential for this experience. And each of you is doing, you know, many of you are doing various particular jobs today. But just to sit in the cushion you're in, in this room, even if you're not a server or a Doan or whatever, is taking some, makes a difference in terms of the whole experience of the day.

[21:17]

It makes a difference in terms of what this is right now. And maybe in our awareness and all of the things we are aware of, the whole environment, the whole universe has the awareness of Roy or Paul or Katie, all of the things you've ever heard of, ever will hear of, ever will think, ever will experience, our reach here, and maybe, you know, probably if we try to dissect it, some of the things that Paul is aware of and some of the things that Katie is aware of, there's a different perspective. You're sitting in a different place, even though you're sort of close together in the room, and maybe what Dale is aware of is all the way over on the other side of the room, but all of it is part of what's here right now. I sometimes have wondered if we sometimes think the thoughts of the person sitting next to us during the session.

[22:29]

Anyway, you don't have to worry about that. Just an idle curiosity. So the stage of a person is how do you use your ability to respond to the wondrousness of all of this here? How do we take our seat? How do you see for yourself? So he says, it's not that I have or don't have some further guidance. And of course, he had the precepts, and he had the Dhammapada, and he had all kinds of ways of guidance. But based on your insight, you get this one mystery, this mystery of oneness. Take the seat. in a formal situation with monks, we are the room, but just take on the clothing of your life stream here now and see on your own.

[23:35]

So the stage of Krishna is about seeing for yourself. The Dharma is not some body of teachings that you should believe in, because you heard me say it, because you read it in some book, or because you heard that the Buddha said it. Buddhism is very empirical. Does it work for you? So again, this practice of taking the backward step and turning in your right inwardly to eliminate the self that Dogen talks about, that Yangchen talks about. Try it. And if it's not helpful for you today, forget about it. These are all just kind of available facilities. The Dharma is so much. It's not just one little book like the Bible. It's hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of texts. And none of us can read all of them. So don't worry about that. But dharma is not just in the texts in our library or other texts.

[24:38]

It's when you walk out the door and smell Chicago. Well, I don't know. Is Chicago outside the door and not in here? I don't know. But anyway. Dharma gates are boundless, we vow to enter them. Every situation is an entryway to truth, reality, wholeness. So the stage of person is taking that on, but it's not separate from the stage of conviction, of total devotion, OK, I'm going to sit here. My knee might hurt, and maybe sometimes I have to shift position. OK, we try and take care of our bodies, you know, we're flexible about, you know, it's OK to sit in a chair, it's OK to put your knees up, you know, and so forth. Still, in whatever posture, and can you take that posture, can you totally give yourself

[25:50]

You're totally giving yourself to yourself and to all beings. So, you know, I don't want to say the stage of faith is inferior or the stage of person is, you know, more advanced. We think that way. We actually do think that way. We think some stage is higher than some other stage. Bachelor's degree is higher than a high school diploma. We think that way. We also have the eightfold path, right view and right action, right effort and right speech and right livelihood and so forth. And it's not that you finish one and you've got it and then you go to the next one. They're all together. So I feel that way about the stage of faith and the stage of person. When you take responsibility for this expression of wholeness on your cushion or chair, also

[26:53]

Go back. Study what it's like to be present. Take on this total faith or devotion. So each piece of this that I've been talking about I could say a lot more about. I'm not sure where to go next. But maybe just briefly to go back to this practice of turning your awareness with it. Facing the wall, allowing the wall to face you. Seeing what's going on there. Not trying to figure it out or have a road map of it. Not trying to get a hold of it because you can't. But can you really settle into what is this awareness?

[28:00]

Who is it? How is it that awareness is aware of awareness? And not to get all tangled up in, you know, some endless retrogression, but just what is this? Or just how does it feel? So there's a kind of attention that we can do in a situation like this today, where you're sitting all day, and some of us sitting a couple days, and some of us sitting three days, but we can settle very deeply into, how is it to be here? Not for the sake of getting some answer, not for the sake of figuring it out so you'll know who you are finally, How do we appreciate our life?

[29:02]

How do we find our gratefulness for everything, everything, everything that's right here? That means being willing to be in the midst of confusion, sleepiness, sadness, loss, frustration, anger, I'm not doing this right. Is this zazen? No, this couldn't be zazen. You might have some experience of something like that. Well, that's OK. How is that? So I want to look a little bit at the verse commentary by Hongzhe, who I've translated and quoted in the Yantze field, who picked these stories. wrote verses about them. There's all this other commentary in between by another guy named Guanson later on.

[30:04]

There's so much in this story, I feel like I've been studying it or aware of it for a long time, and it's very rich. But anyway, here's what Holmes says about it. He says, again, I'll see if I can read all the way through without commenting, and then go back. all embracing with no outside, penetrating with no obstruction, gates and walls like cliffs, doors and locks redoubled. When the wine is only sweet, it lays out the guests. Though the meal is spilling, it ruins the farmers. Bursting out of the clear sky, the Garuda takes wing on the wing. Treading over the blue sea, thunder follows the roaming dragon. So there's almost as much there to talk about as there is in the original story, and maybe more. But I'll say a little bit about some of it.

[31:07]

All embracing with no outside, penetrating with no obstruction. This is about this mind environment. all embracing with no outside. Is there anything you can think of that's not, that's outside? Is there anything you can think of that's not what you're thinking? Is there anything we can be aware of that's not this universe? Of course, you know, they discovered you. What was it that you were talking about here, Sam, the Higgs boson, Higgs boson particle? Yeah, so we can, you know, there are new discoveries and we can read about them in the newspaper or whatever, but anyway, then they become part of no outside, even if you can't pronounce them. All embracing, no outside. This is what it's like, actually, to sit on your Krishna chair.

[32:13]

Where are you from? You think of that place. So this is that place. It's all embracing the outside. And of course, we have this discriminating consciousness. We have this ability to divide it up into lots of different stuff and then think about it and make comparisons and provide evaluations for it. And this is pleasant, and this is unpleasant, You know, we can even think that some things are more advanced than others, or whatever. But really, the starting point is just all embracing, no outside. Next line's kind of interesting, penetrating with no obstruction. That's kind of, you know, like this monk, turning his mind within. We do that.

[33:29]

We put up gates and walls. The greeter, when she comes into the zenda, locks the front door, just to make sure everything is safe out there. We do that. We compartmentalize our awareness. There's more to say about those first lines, but I want to get to this next part because it gets to one of the main issues in the story. When the wine is always sweet, it lays out the guests. Though the meal is filling, it ruins the farmers. And of course, this may apply more in a place like Tassajara, someplace where you're spending months or weeks or whatever just sitting and focusing on this all-encompassing mind. We're a little bit protected from this, because all of you are going to go out tonight into the streets of Chicago or go home or whatever. We're all coming from a busy life, each in our own way.

[34:37]

But there is this possibility of getting so immersed, as this monk has been, seeing there's nothing outside, seeing there's nothing at all. There's no existence at all. It says, when the wine is always sweet, it lays out the guests. It's impossible to become attached to this immersion. And I don't feel like anybody here is in danger of that, actually. When I first became a, when I was first as an institute member, for a number of years, I was an obsession junkie. I'd go to seven days of shins and just... That was what was important, it seemed to me, getting into that. And it's true, it can be... Sweet wine, and we can all just get laid out, and the meal is filling, it ruins the farmers. Somebody has to have the food, and somebody has to go in the kitchen and prepare it, and somebody has to come in and serve it to us.

[35:47]

It's okay if you enjoy your zazen. In fact, I recommend it. But still, when the bell rings, you should please get up and do walking meditation. I'm sorry. You can't just sit on your cushion here all day without getting up and doing temple cleaning and getting your bowls and eating. We do all those other things, too. Or maybe it's possible to see all those as just more wine, sweet wine, or dry wine. But anyway, this speaks to the way in which Yangshan was maybe, it sounds almost like he's reprimanding the monk. I don't think he is. He's just saying, you know, You've still got to go out there and till the fields. You've still got to remember all beings, remember the suffering beings that don't have the chance to come and sit and face the wall and turn their mind within to see that which is aware, and are suffering.

[37:02]

There are suffering beings in the world. So we need to go out and prepare the food, or grow it. And it turns out that there's no separation there either. So some of you have done this enough to have told me that the zazen is not so separate from, you know, when you go to work and take care of stuff there. And in fact, we emphasize, you know, We're going to be doing temple cleaning later. Roy will give out work assignments and we'll all take care of some aspect of taking care of the temple. So the stage of person is we take care of this opportunity we have, this wonderful opportunity that we can be so grateful for, for the life that you have now.

[38:04]

Each of us in our own way expressing how wonderful the whole thing is. Thrusting out of the clear sky, the Garuda takes wing on the wind. Treading over the blue sea, thunder follows the roaming dragon.

[38:26]

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