Equanimity and the Eternal Moment

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Time and Transformation; Two Truths, Sesshin Day 4

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Good morning. And this is the fourth day of our five-day sasheen, where we've been sitting from five in the morning till around nine, a little after nine. And the sasheen comes at the end of our six-week practice period. And we've been studying the seven factors of enlightenment in this practice period.

[01:10]

And today, I'm going to talk about the last factor of enlightenment, which is, in Sanskrit, upeksa. In Pali, upeka. And in English, equanimity. So equanimity is the balanced state.

[02:27]

It also appears in the four Brahma-viharas. if you're familiar with the Brahma-viharas, the four unlimited states of love in Buddhism. Sometimes people say, well, you know, in Zen, you never talk about love. But actually, it's not true, because that's all we ever talk about. But in the Brahma-viharas, it's expressed very precisely as loving-kindness, compassion, sympathetic joy, and equanimity.

[03:34]

So you think, well, equanimity, how's that love? But equanimity is impartiality. Upeksa means something like overseeing or looking over, seeing something from an overview, seeing the big picture, seeing something from all sides. So, love actually is, the characteristic of love is impartiality. Even though we each have our own idea of what love means to us, the actual basic meaning is impartiality.

[04:37]

together with those other qualities, those other three qualities. Impartiality, which allows us to have loving-kindness without attachment or aversion. So the qualities of the two basic qualities of upekka, of the balanced mind is neither attachment or aversion, neither clinging nor pushing away, but simply being present with what's present without to actually see things as it is, to be with things as it is.

[05:47]

So in the commentaries they say, the commentary says, when you see the soullessness of individuals, when you can understand who people really are, then you'll see that there's no need for attachment, that each one of us is present due to our past karma, and our dispositions, and our present ways of appearing in the world are due to our past karma, and that everyone is moving, and that each one of us is moving through this life in our own way, there's nothing or no one to be attached to. When we have this kind of understanding, then it's easier to develop this quality.

[07:10]

of equanimity. Sometimes people think that this quality is indifference, but it's not indifference. Indifference means that you don't care, but pekkha doesn't have the quality of not caring. Matter of fact, it has the quality of totally caring, which is characterized by loving-kindness and compassion and sympathetic joy, which are its qualities. this even-mindedness, this balance, allows us to stay centered in the midst of any kind of adversity.

[08:22]

So one of the basic qualities is being able to stand our ground in the midst of any problem or any difficulty or any adversity or whatever's going on, to not lose our composure or balance, to be at the midpoint. So often we get overbalanced, you know, our emotionally or mentally or with our feelings and our views. And to be able to find that balance point or the center point in every moment situation is this upeksha.

[09:29]

Suzuki Roshi used to say, Everything is falling out of balance, moment by moment, and regaining its balance, moment by moment. And if you look around, you can see that that's actually happening. This is the world, the realm of samsara. Samsara, I like the definition of samsara as the undulation of life. the rhythm and the movement and the changing patterns of our life which is continually moving like clouds which are constantly changing or like a river which is constantly flowing. And So everything is continually losing its balance.

[10:39]

But we don't necessarily see it that way because we're always doing something to right ourselves. Moment after moment, we're compensating for staying in balance. And if you ever have a situation where you've been out of balance, you don't really notice that until you do get out of balance. if you've ever had some vertigo or some, you know, fallen in some way that we've all done that, then you, it's then that you realize that what you've been doing all this time is continually compensating and finding your balance moment by moment with your surroundings. So paying attention to our surroundings, paying attention to our effort, and paying attention to letting go.

[11:51]

Sometimes upeksa means letting go. That's another translation. Thich Nhat Hanh likes to call it letting go. but letting go of grasping and clinging, actually. You know, in Buddhism, the end product is sometimes called extinction, but it simply means extinction of grasping and clinging. It doesn't mean there's nothing left. It simply means extinction of grasping and clinging, or letting go of grasping and clinging, so that you have the actual freedom to flow with the stream freely.

[12:52]

So that's what practice is about, fundamentally. How do we flow freely with the stream? How do we flow with our relationships? You know, sometimes we think that non-attachment is the fundamental, which it is. But it also includes attachment. Within attachment, we find our non-attachment. So, attachment means, on one level, to interact with things. When you're part of a dance, you're interacting and so there's

[14:00]

what you could call attachment. But the dance has space within it, and then you move to another dance form, and then another dance form. If you're holding on to this dance form, you can't move to that dance form. So, how we move in concert, and yet have the freedom to flow with things and realize that nothing is permanent. All relationships come apart. It's possible to, you know, choke our love or capture our love and squash it because we can't find our freedom within it or allow our partner's freedom.

[15:14]

Reminds me of a movie, I think I've talked about this before, with Tashiro Mifune called Las Animas, where he plays a, he went to Mexico and made this movie. He really identified with the Mexican people. And he wanted to make this movie in Mexico, which he did. And it's about this peasant in a town. And he was kind of misfit, you know. He probably never received any love in his life. So he didn't know how to relate to anybody. And, but he was big and strong and with a lot of power, you know, personal strength. And in the town every year, they would, somebody would sponsor a big festival and pay for it.

[16:21]

And he wanted to do that, you know, he didn't have a dime. Anyway, that's just the setting of the movie. What he does is he sees this little bird, he's never loved anything in his life, but he sees a little bird that's been at a broken wing and he picks up the little bird and he falls in love with the little bird. And he holds the little bird and he takes the little bird to his breast and he just nurtures, but he squashes, he just suffocates the bird. And then he looks at the bird and it's dead. This is like, you know, because he couldn't, he didn't know how to let the bird breathe. He didn't know how to let it be free within the relationship. So in Zazen, equanimity is associated with being settled, with serenity of mind.

[18:12]

Serenity of mind will come about when all things are equal. Concentration will come about. Concentration, by itself, is not necessarily a good quality. It's a good quality, but it needs direction. In itself, it's not good. it simply can be used by anybody for any purpose. So when it's used in meditation, it needs to have the balancing factor of upekka, which means impartiality.

[19:18]

So we have what we call the four wisdoms. the wisdom, the mirror wisdom. When we talk about, when I talked about concentration the other day, two kinds of concentration. One is specific concentration, where you're concentrating on something in particular. And concentration which is non-specific, where it's simply bare awareness. And this bare awareness just mirrors whatever appears in consciousness. And in order for this bare awareness to maintain its awareness, there has to be no clinging and no aversion. So whatever comes across the screen of consciousness is seen exactly as it is, without preference or without distortion.

[20:29]

That's called seeing things as it is. So the mirror, also called the mirror mind or the mirror wisdom, being able to just see everything as it is, which is difficult because we're always making judgments or discriminating in some way. So, upeksa is the quality that allows the mind to mirror without distortion. And then the seventh, or the next wisdom is called the wisdom of equality.

[21:32]

So equality is upeksha. And that's the quality that sees everything as the same. the quality of equality. Nothing is any more valuable than anything else. Everything has absolute value. The equality doesn't mean that everything is the same. It simply means that everything has absolute value. Everything is different, of course. We're all different, but we all have absolute value, and that is our sameness. Someone asked, what does it mean that my true nature, how can I recognize my true nature?

[22:41]

How can I recognize the nature of myself as being equal with everyone else? This is where we can see that everything has the same absolute value, even though everything is totally different. And where we meet is in Zazen. It's very interesting because even though we don't say anything to each other in Zazen, there's this certain kind of understanding that we all have when we do Zazen. There's some familiarity and intimacy because we've touched the same place.

[23:48]

So this equanimity also has to be present in our effort. If there's too much effort, we get tight. If there's too little effort, we get lax. So equanimity in zazen, or in any activity, is how to maintain the center. In zazen, it's how do we use the least amount of effort to do the most amount of work. How to refine your effort so that you find just the right balance points. And then your effort becomes more and more refined so that you're working not just with muscular structure, but with balance, and how you create that refinement of balance until your effort becomes effortless, or seemingly effortless.

[25:35]

But Zazen, you know, in Zazen, your body's always falling out of balance, moment by moment, and you have to keep finding that balance, moment after moment. People say, well, what's the perfect Zazen position? There is no perfect Zazen position. As soon as you find it, it's changed. So, Zazen is continually being alert and awake, waking up and falling asleep, waking up and falling asleep, waking up and coming back, and reasserting, refinding your posture, refinding your balance over and over and over again. And this way, Zazen becomes deeper and deeper. So this upekka or peksha, equanimity, is actually our very deep love.

[27:07]

Because even though it may seem impersonal, it's very personal. And we don't do this practice for our own sake only. But this is the practice that we share and offer to the world. This loving kindness without impartiality and without aversion. with impartiality and without aversion and without clinging, simply treating everyone the same. So when we have this kind of quality, this becomes our mode.

[28:21]

So it's not like you try to love. It's just simply that when it's your mode, that's how you are. You don't have to try to do something. But as soon as we grasp something, we're caught. So some people retreat from the whole thing so that they won't be caught. But others go, take a big chance and go into the world and deal with it.

[29:27]

and sometimes we get caught. But that's okay, as long as you know what your practice is. So some of us come from the world of the hothouse, and some of us come from the world of hard knocks. But little by little we learn, you know, hopefully. So actually the world is our teacher and refines our practice. And if we keep our mind on our attention on these factors and mindfulness then our experience can actually be refined and we can find our freedom in the midst of our activity without having to retreat.

[30:41]

And that way we actually are This is our work in the world, because as we refine our own practice, the people around us are affected and influenced. I remember Suzuki Roshi saying always, you don't have to do something special when you go out in the world. All you have to do is your practice. Just maintain your practice. He didn't even say that. That's what I say. He said, you don't even have to remember your practice. Just sit Zazen and do your daily life. But I think you should remember your practice. And you don't even know that you're helping people.

[31:53]

You're just simply doing your life. Do you have any question? Or Ross? Thank you. Chemistry and affinities develop between people, I think. that arises and then we feel some kind of kinship or connection that's with some versus others. Right. How does that relate to equanimity or maybe losing sort of equanimity and balance? Does it require like an exploration of what this is going to be about? And then when it becomes like not so affine, then I feel that I'm losing my equanimity. How is that engagement? No, I think that we have people who are close to us and people who are distant. We have people that are very close and people that are very distant, and then there are all the relationships in between.

[33:01]

And we act differently toward different relationships. But the point is not that you act the same way to everybody. I mean, you know, you don't have the same intimacy because of your relationships, but there is a kind of intimacy that you have with everyone that you can share with everyone. There is an intimacy that you can share with everyone. And some people are close to you and some people are distant. But, and some people are hard to share with. Some people are very hard to share with. But one of the, you know, in the text, the text says,

[34:18]

that Buddha says, that even if someone comes and cuts off all your limbs, you should not get angry at them. You know? This is, Buddhism is very extreme. But if you use that as an example, you may not be able to reach that level, but it helps you to realize that upekka means, one of the qualities of even-mindedness is being able to maintain your composure with everyone. So if you're a Zen teacher, you should be able to meet everyone who comes, who comes to face you. In some way, you have to meet everybody and you have to know where you meet them.

[35:23]

Well, where do you meet them? You meet them where you are. Then, where are you? You may meet somebody that will shake you off your foundations, and then you know where you are. So, when that happens, you know, well, I have some more work to do. Every challenge is good for us if we take it up. I remember Master Hua had this thing written out in Chinese characters. It said, everything is a test to see what you will do. Paul? seems to revolve around what is mine and what is yours.

[36:26]

The whole idea of this is my body doesn't work when you see beyond, when you see beyond yourself. Yes. You let go of that. So you let go of my body and somehow you have to find out who you are in the midst of all that. Yes, right. This body, if you think about it, this body, but you know, it is my body, even though it's not my body. I think we have to be very careful. Everything that we say in Buddhism, the opposite is also there. So if you say no, yes is there. If you say yes, no is also there. So if you say my body, it's not your body.

[37:29]

If you say it's not my body, it is your body. So yes but, or not always so. So we want positive We want things to be concrete, you know, but they're not. It's yes and no. Yes and no. It is and it isn't. It's birth and death. Well, is it death or is it life? Well, it's kind of in between. Everything is in between because nothing is. It seems like one of the directions is to love everything equally, not just what is mine. Right. Not my child, my wife, my house, my everything.

[38:33]

Right. Well, that's correct. I think from my point of view, that's correct. Yeah, that's indiscriminate, non-discriminating love is to love every everybody equally, everything equally. When we do that, then we'll have a peaceful world, for a moment. Yes. You said earlier, everything is a test. Yeah. Is there a right answer? There is. But you may not know what that is. How do I find out? Well, everything is a test. Can you say that it affects unconditional love?

[39:38]

Yeah, unconditional. It's not affected by conditions. So that's how we can say, love your enemy. Because the conditions would be the reverse. It's hard to love your enemies, but that's one of the higher forms of practice. It is, definitely. I want to apologize for the change in the energy to ask this question that, as everybody knows, the war is going to Iran, and we had seven students that fired themselves last week, and two of them died. Three of them died by this morning, I know. So I want to ask for wisdom.

[40:42]

in Iran day and night and they are fighting for democracy but for freedom but they don't have any leader or they don't have any wisdom behind that it just that's what they have no other choice that's all they have they should be on the street and in case to have their voice to be spread all over the world. So what did you get wisdom? I had last week, I had, I was teaching the meditation, Zen meditation in TV. And so I had a lot of calls that this, this is hard for this culture because they are fighting with religion. So how can I tell them just meditate and then Zazen is awakening, you know, and they're looking for something.

[41:53]

They see that everybody's their enemy. U.S. is their enemy, their own government is their enemy, and they have been suffering eight years with Saddam Hussein's war, and then they don't trust anymore to anybody after that Iran contract. So it's everybody's problem. Right now, we were predicting this was going to happen. And is this going to end? What is the wisdom behind we can teach to these students? Well, you know, this is the result of their karma. This whole thing is the result of their karma, built up over years and years and years. before anything can happen, there just has to be this big, you know, eruption. And, you know, doing a little zazen is not gonna fix it.

[43:00]

No. The only way that, you know, I think, they have to find it in their own system. In other words, it's probably there in the Koran, what to do, if they could interpret it correctly. Is it Muslim, I don't know. I have heard many different type of interpretations. I know. Yeah. But I think that this, it's kind of unstoppable, this revolution in Iran.

[44:07]

The repression can only last so long. And so what these people are doing in their revolution is what they have to do. And I think that they'll get it together somehow. Even though to watch it is very painful. Some fires are so big that you can't put them out. And we just have to watch that painful experience. John? So we're faced with a level of suffering and tragedy that's unfolding, and there's nothing we can really do specifically to change it.

[45:15]

Yeah, this is where equanimity really is most important in the face of this impossible situation. I don't want to start talking about politics. But to watch our country being taken over by a fascist regime, It takes a lot of patience. If we have that equanimity in the face of that, then we can do something positive. Having the equanimity means having the patience to wait or to be calm until you see how things are working and then you can bring them together and do something at the right moment.

[46:34]

I think this next election is maybe the biggest fiasco in our history. even bigger than the last one. But it could also, if things come together, could do something. I don't know. But it's the most important thing that we have to do, is take care of this next election. Otherwise, it's kaput. People think, oh well, you know, it's just another turn of the And it is, but if people don't see what's happening, it's like total ignorance. Yeah. I can't hear you. When you're talking about the situation in Iran being the result of karma, the result of action, is one of the things that we can

[47:41]

do or that they can do to see clearly causes and conditions? Yes. Well, that would be definitely to really step back and see how everything came to be the way it is. And then not keep creating that karma. in Iran, if people would really step back. And people are, but it's so hard to do anything. You know, hard. You know, the crisis is so total, and it doesn't really, you know, in the next election, when you look at the opposition, such as it is, and the situation in the world on so many levels, The crisis seems to me so total, and you know, I read this and follow this stuff, it seems to me that the Dharma is really the only salvation, and I don't see any other network or theory or pervasive position that can possibly rescue.

[49:02]

I don't think there is any place to stand here, outside of that. So I think the Dharma in all of its aspects, not just in meditation, but in the whole body of the teaching, is really the only possibility. I hope it's not the only one, but it's the one that we have to have faith in. I felt very bad after you, after the woman whose back of her head I can see right now. When you gave your answer, I felt, I started feeling so bad, you know, because I wanted there to be an answer. Right. She placed before us something very heartfelt.

[50:06]

She wasn't just talking about politics. Right. First, I was really pained by your answer, I thought. Especially when you said it's their karma, because that's often a very unfeeling way to talk about things, because thousands of people, innocent people, whose karma it isn't, always get just obliterated and hurt so much in such situations. So I didn't want to say that. But I just realized that it's also I don't actually know the status of your answer. Maybe there was something wonderful there that she got. But I realized that I felt really bad because I can't respond to that. I back away from it and I can't feel it and I don't know what to do and I just come here and sit a little Zazen and feel better about my own life.

[51:07]

Yeah, actually I was thinking of asking you your answer, if I can video your answer. And then when you gave that answer, I said, no, I'm not going to be able to do it. To say, this is your karma, and then take whatever you suffer and die. Well, maybe I could say, viva la revolution. It's somewhere in between those two. What does it feel like to love George Bush as much as it does to love Mel? Well, some people do. You know, I don't love George Bush's mind or his point of view, but I have to recognize that we have the same Buddha nature.

[52:32]

So if I realize that he has the same Buddha nature, then I can have some hope for him. And you do. Do I have hope? Yeah. Yeah. Just not as present. Yeah. May we take some kind of refuge in the process of transformation? Yeah, yeah. I think the way to help in that process is to vote him out of office. You know, you don't have to hate him, just... Agam?

[53:42]

Just to be the simple child asking the question at this stage, what exactly is going on in Iran? I'm just kind of uninformed. Oh yeah, well, there's a, the liberal youth are no longer, you know, they're trying to get out from under the repression of the old regime. And there's a lot of chaos in the streets and, you know, marches in the streets and repression and, you know, what happens in that kind of situation. We? The U.S.? Well, the U.S. seems to be helping to foster that. So it's kind of a mixed bag. It's for their own purposes. One thing that right now US has, Iran's neighbor is Iraq and Afghanistan and is occupied by the United States so far.

[54:56]

And the last thing is Turkey, which they have a contrast to. So Iran is already surrounded by the United States. They are talking about democracy, but it's not that, because it's a Persian Gulf. It's a Persian Gulf that is a dream of a Bush legacy that kept the Persian Gulf in their own hand, and Iran is the only problem right now. That is... from George Bush himself 10 years ago, that's my dream as a president of CIA that get rid of communists and then bring the Persian Gulf. Okay, last question.

[55:59]

Now all the political stuff is There are many possibilities in all these different situations, difficult as they may be, and the Buddhist or Dharma contribution is not necessarily to say we should that it just comes back very simply. Look at the possibilities and if you have a situation where there's nothing you can do about it, then don't worry about it.

[57:09]

Just take it in, keep it on the shelf. Oh, there's that stuff over there that's out of my control. I have no contacts there, whatever it may be. I'm sorry that I can't do anything about it, but just let it go, because you're not going to help anything by moaning about it. Concentrate on something that you can do. Maybe what you can do is talk about it with somebody else, or approach something that you can do something about. It can be little or it can be big, like an election or a revolution or some large issue. But the point is, Look through those things, explore them, try things out, and then determine, oh, here's something I can do. I have some skill at this. I have some knowledge of this. I know what I'm talking about here. I know the people that are involved. And then go into that, and then the Buddhism comes in, and how you do it.

[58:11]

That's the only thing. Buddhism or not is not going to solve everything from you, what you're going to do is have to find out what you are going to do, and then you can do it detachedly or with equanimity, etc. That can be something that can help you do it better. Maybe you're working on some cause, but you may work at that cause better if you do it with equanimity. But it's not Sometimes there's this false issue, like we're posing everything, and then we think, well, gosh, I can't do anything. I'm freaked out. What are we going to do? And it's this kind of all or nothing gives kind of silly answers. You can't do anything, so you just give up and, well, I'm just going to do sessions or something.

[59:13]

And no, we're not. Or, on the other hand, you end up rationalizing that and saying, well, by doing a Sesshin, I'm helping, so don't worry about this. And neither one is the case. It's just a question of looking around and figuring out what you're going to do, and then do it with the same kind of things that you do a Sesshin. Do it attentively, with equanimity, with compassion, All that kind of stuff. Whatever it is. If you're getting somebody to sign a petition, or if you're in an insurrection, whatever. The same things apply. I mean it. It's not a question of arguing whether we have this or that. Those are other issues that can be debated, and there are different points of view, and you can figure out what you think is appropriate.

[60:14]

But it always comes down to what you are going to do. You are in a particular place. If we're in a particular position in the session, we have a thing we do, we concentrate and so on, but we are mindful of the other things that are going on so that we're not gonna bump into other people's. Same thing here. If you see a lot to disagree with or a lot that you're upset about, bear in mind, yes, a lot of things to be upset about, but don't use that as an excuse, like, oh, it's just infinite, we can't do anything about it, therefore, pick out some things, do it, see how it works, change, and do it again, but the same way that we sit as Aizen, the same way that we bow. Oh, Gary. Everything's a test to see what you'll do.

[61:16]

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