In a mantra-like way, the results will appear. Does that make sense? So, on the one hand, schedule the session. On the other hand, have the more right now. And this is really to use time in a different way. And again, I'm answering the question this way because it's consistent with what the koans present. So let's go back to this phrase, the body of reality. I said last night something like, what is the body of reality? And someone mentioned to me this morning, Why did you drop off the word Buddha?

[01:09]

Okay, well, I did it to make it a little less, you know, not bring Buddhism in, so make it a little more just a statement in your life. So we could ask, first of all, You could say, what is reality? But this is just a philosophical question. And pretty hard to do much with. Most of us have more important problems than reality. But when you say, what is the body of reality?

[02:10]

This is the koan telling you that reality can be experienced. Or, of course, is your experience. But it's a body. Is it a body in you or outside of you? But it's talking about an experienceable sense of reality that is... maybe a little different than the way you usually do things. And to say the Buddha's body of reality means this is the experience of enlightenment or Buddha's body as well as your body. And then if you remember that you said to yourself, or I said, you said, what is the body of reality?

[03:21]

And you look at the koan and you see it doesn't say what, it says where. So this puts it in the realm of space. So you, I don't know how it's translated, but in English it's where is the body of reality. So if you're practicing with koans and you're so inclined, or this phrase sticks with you, then for a little while you might address yourself with this, body of reality, body of reality. Where? What is my reality? How am I existing?

[04:37]

So koan practice is a particular way to present yourself with a question like this and yet not expect an answer. And not so different from the feeling of I would like to go to a sesshin later, but how can I have this more practice now? If we actually are emphasizing just now just now or the here and now, then you've got to find some way to address this. Or perhaps label it. And I find a good phrase is, just now is enough. Because it's a kind of challenge.

[05:54]

If you say, oh, I live in the here and now, but you don't believe that just now is enough, then you don't live in the here and now. You're living in, well, I'm sort of present, but, you know, I need something out there of the past or something. When you really live in the here and now, then this just as we are right now, is completely enough. Now you may shift into shallow, borrowed consciousness, and you may know in a practical sense that there are many things you don't have right now. A toilet, tea,

[06:54]

But those thoughts are in one kind of consciousness. There's another kind of consciousness in which just now is enough. Because there's always... You could have another cup of tea or go to the toilet. So on one level there's no desireless state of mind. As long as you're alive. Now suppose I were to say to you that that there is sleeping consciousness and waking consciousness. Which is, of course, obviously true. They're not so different, but they're also very different. Let's say there's a third kind of consciousness. Which is as different from waking as sleeping is different from waking.

[08:19]

Which is different from both waking and sleeping. And yet indistinguishable simultaneously. And this is not just a mental state, it's a physical body. That's as different as the sleeping body is from the waking body. If I said there's such a thing, how do I point it out? This koan is trying to point it out. And I can't point it out unless you already have an intimation of it.

[09:26]

Or you can see it sometimes in another person. Or feel it in another person. or you have the faith of borrowed Buddhist consciousness, to say, OK, something's here, I know. So what we're going to try to be doing today and tomorrow is seeing if we can realize this third body, which is not different from anything. So very hard to see because it's not different.

[10:33]

And yet somehow it's different. So now I think maybe toilet and tea is a good idea. Now I'd like you to sit with the feeling that somehow you understand this koan already. Instead of facing it with perplexity, just have a feeling, I don't get it yet, but I also, something in me understands it.

[11:34]

Don't even care about understanding. Just have a real basic confidence in yourself. that something in you understands. And just let yourself come through a kind of faith. Let yourself come close to the feeling that something in me understands. Something in me knows what to do.

[12:42]

In the biggest sense, something in you knows what to do. Even if we don't understand, we have to keep giving ourself the space to understand. Instead of running from, in our life, running from distraction to distraction, Or imagined satisfaction to imagined satisfaction. You have to give yourself some ambiguous space. Undefined or anonymous space.

[13:46]

So at this moment in looking at the koan, it's good to just, you don't know what we're doing, but let's sit a moment. There's your body. There's your breath. What fine level of detail is this? How many minds arise on your body and on your breath? Even how many worlds arise when you can settle into this fine level of detail?

[15:05]

Ambiguous, but somehow powerful. I don't know. I know it's irrelevant. Something stronger than knowing or not knowing. It's right on your breath. It's right on your breath just now. Everything is okay. Even if Devadatta pushed over a mountain onto you, everything is okay. Okay.

[16:29]

Even if the farmers are singing and no one in the country is at peace. And there's no toothache. Everything is okay. Even if you've cut off some of your flesh to give to your parents. In deeply nourished states of mind, everything is okay. Enough is the name of just now. And a name you don't even need. Hmm. Everything is fluid inside.

[18:15]

And outside. It's a kind of floating, kind of big space. Please sit comfortably.

[20:37]

I could let us sit forever. Or sometimes I feel like sitting forever. But I know some of you would protest. And my legs would start protesting too. So, but from what I just said, You know, why not move, change your legs and so forth? And somewhere in you sit forever.

[21:42]

This is possible. So indulgent. So... Another little experiment. I can say each one of you is completely unique. Each one of you is the world honored. I can say each one of you is completely unique. Each one of you is the world-honored one.

[22:50]

And if you feel this, you have to have a non-comparative state of mind. And I also can say each one of you is completely interrelated with each other. And that also you can feel and most fully feel if you also have a non-comparative state of mind. Now I've made two statements. Each one describes you and the room and other people differently. And though both those descriptions have truth, and I think if you could all simultaneously

[24:16]

feel those two different descriptions, there would be some difference. And yet, even with those two different descriptions, this room remains the same. And anyone looking at it wouldn't notice anything. It's like the same boring group of people sitting here listening to something. But practice is like this. It's different and yet it looks the same. You brought up something just before.

[25:38]

Yeah, you asked earlier. You said earlier, you said just now is enough. And I've known this sentence for a while. My interest in Zazen or Buddhism or Zen is getting stronger and my interest in my job is getting weaker. And accordingly, my financial situation is also getting weaker. what you said just now is enough. I notice that my interest in Zen gets stronger and stronger, my interest in my profession gets weaker and weaker, and so my financial situation gets weaker and weaker. I've been living that way for 30 years. That's why I see God being so... But that's not what you said before we started.

[26:43]

But that's what I meant. Come on. Sorry. Yeah, but I'd also like you to say what you said before. Okay. I try to get it again. Okay. Yeah, I don't get it, but... About upside down and... Yeah, but this is, yeah, okay. Die Frage ist die, die Konfusion zwischen oben, unten, rechts und links, wo stehe ich, stehe ich in der Mitte, stehe ich rechts, stehe ich links, was mache ich mit dem Gefühl dieser Irritation mit jetzt im Moment ist es genug, das reicht im Moment, jetzt reicht es. What do I do with this feeling of irritation up and down, right and left, and just now is enough?

[27:43]

Irritation? The irritation. The irritation. What do I do with the feeling of irritation? That arises from feeling upside down and... Yeah, from the confusion, like where am I standing right now? The feeling that comes from the confusion, where am I standing now? What do I do with it? Well, I knew I had to come to what you said quickly because you'd lose it if I didn't. Because it's like this just now is enough. You have to come to it immediately. You can't wait and get the more later. So immediate consciousness, when I use that word, I also mean there has to be a quality of no delay in it. No, I thought your saying that was quite, there was a poetry to it.

[29:16]

Because what you described is part of what actually is implied in this koan. Mm-hmm. So you were experiencing what the koan was talking about when you described that. Now there's another poem, another koan, in a collection called The Gateless Gate, a typical Zen expression, The Gateless Gate. And in Koan 20, it says, why can a man, a person of great power, not be able to lift his foot? This is another one of those peculiar statements that you have to kind of like grok, like the nearness of a distant star.

[30:44]

Sum Yuan said this. And then it said, because the tongue cannot reach it. What language is being talked here? He says, the commentary says, Seungyong... opened his intestines, spilled out his intestines and turned his belly inside out. This means the difficulty in expressing something like this.

[31:50]

It reminds me of my grandfather used to tell me a little story. When I was quite little, I would go to Maine, which is the northernmost New England state. And my grandfather lived on this house with this land where they'd been for many generations. And he was kind of an eccentric guy who'd never been sick. Except once when they went and got the doctor. And when they brought the doctor back, of course in those days by horse and carriage. He was up in a cherry tree eating cherries.

[32:54]

Anyway, he used to go out very early in the morning and chop wood. Sometimes I'd come out with him, and he'd tease me about getting up and joining him. So I did often get up. I liked getting up early. And, you know, it wasn't that early, seven or so, and he'd be out chopping away, or six. And he said, he used to say to me, well, did you get up early enough to see the squigamum Z swallow itself? And I used to... I was four, you know, or something like that.

[34:02]

And he would... He'd say, oh, you have to get up much earlier than me, you know. And I've never forgotten this, you know. First, you can't pronounce squiggle-mum-um-see. Squiggle-mum-um-see. And second, the idea of something swallowing itself. And I was little, and this was my grandfather, and adults knew about the world. So I knew he was fooling me. I know when my leg is being pulled. Even then, I can remember, oh, that Grandpa was teasing me. But he said it with complete conviction. And on another level, I believed him.

[35:08]

And I had this feeling that if I got up early enough, something would happen. And I've been doing it ever since. In Crestone, we usually get up at 4 or 4.30. And I can't really say I've ever seen the squiggle mumsy swallow its tongue. But I've been in the process of digesting myself for quite a long time. Not fully digested yet, though. So... But there's some kind of funny truth to the fact that the squiggle mumsy really does swallow itself. There are some possibilities in this life that we can't name.

[36:10]

If you described your experience or I extended your description. There's no left and right. There's no, sometimes I'm upside down. You know, I can't locate myself. When this happens in Kaufhof, it can be quite disturbing. Because you don't know whether when the clerk is handing you the money, you're over here or... What's going on? And you can't really walk down the aisles on your hands. But sometimes your sense of how you locate the world disappears. Now, basically, this is a spiritual experience.

[37:29]

But if you're not prepared for it, I think in some people it may cause a psychotic break. Or it can be quite disturbing. Do you feel you're losing control of yourself or going crazy or something? So one advantage of sasen practice is at least it makes you more familiar with letting loose of your usual way of perceiving yourself. So in this koan, Seungyuan is trying to say something like this when he says, when, why is it that a person of great power cannot lift their foot. Later in the commentary it says, lifting the foot you stamp on the ocean.

[38:35]

Maybe when you lift your foot, you feel the whole world is attached to it. Now, there is this kind of experience. It's not taught in high school or gymnasium. But just because it's not taught or pointed out, it's actually just one of our experiences. If you're willing to let loose at least of too strong a sense of who you are and where you are, Where is the great body of reality? But this kind of experience is best accepted when there's a certain mind-body stability in your clarity, in your existence.

[40:25]

So that's why it says a person of great power. So when you have such an experience, you can at least, even if it's unsettling, reach down into yourself with your breath. Until your breath feels it goes right through you into the floor and the earth. And breathe the earth up into you. Now I'm naming this, I'm saying this in words. It's not exactly logical.

[41:37]

But saying something like this doesn't fully describe the experience. But such a description may allow something experienced to happen. That's outside our categories of mind. So again, that's what Collins are trying to do, is give you a description that is outside of or challenges your descriptions of being. And such questions, such experiences can call into question our usual life. Something else? Do you have anything else?

[42:53]

Yes. I have a question about the creator of reality. And how do you feel about such a difference, something that I will call the environment is not recognized, it is not conscious. I've got a question concerning the reality body and the difference of space. What do you want me to say? Yes? No? Each koan is not equivalent with itself.

[44:01]

Well, if the koan is good, each koan is... equivalent to itself. In other words, if you really can... The idea in the development of koans is a koan is presented in such a way that in the process of studying it you experience what it's trying to present. But there's really nothing that can be said about this reality body.

[45:24]

But you can actually take something like that as a koan. There's nothing that can be said. And every time you look at something, you say to yourself, there's nothing that can be said. The tongue can't reach it. So that's using what I just did as an example of what I meant to make things immediate. I said there's nothing that can be said about it. And then I turned there's nothing that can be said into the surface of it. or the gate of it.

[46:26]

And that turn is essential in Zen practice. Yes, how do we discover our sickness and our health all the time? And I like when it's common where it says, The emperor says, when will the land be at peace? And finally, the minister says, if your majesty seeks a peace beyond this, it's beyond my ability. There's sickness, there's health. If you seek some health beyond that, you know. So your sickness or health, in a sense, you have to call that health.

[47:27]

Discover the health in your sickness. Then the health that surrounds your sickness. And you'll be much better able to work with your sickness. So doctors should help people discover their health as well as their sickness. And even much more important is to get the patient to discover their health. But as my doctor friends say, patients come with a long list of their sicknesses. And they're not interested in looking in between the items on the list. They want to quickly get to the next item. They don't even want you to listen. You somehow have to stop them with your body.

[49:03]

If you stop them with your voice or your mind, they will push on in their list. So you have to reach out with your stomach and stop them. And make their stomach feel their health. And then maybe they can listen to their own sicknesses. Anyway, something like this, I don't know. Yeah. Well, I think it's getting close to time for lunch.

[50:04]

In fact, it's 12.59.59. Now it's 1.06.07. The price of potatoes is changing. The Deutschmark keeps going up and down. Yeah. So two hours is about the time we need, right? To get somewhere and order and come back. One and a half hours doesn't seem to work. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I see you at three. Have a nice walk. I'd like to start again with anything you'd like to ask about. Yes.

[51:05]

Now you came in the morning, and you said, let's say, if you knock it on the street, and then you get the thought that you regret that you haven't meditated in the morning. So what you should do is meditate at that moment, and not to try to do it on the other day or whatever. So what happens is, you realize your need, as you try to do the meet at that moment. It's getting complicated for me to have another meet, let's say a meet according to another person. Let's say you're walking on the street and you've got the thought, well, today I would like to, you've got a romantic thought and you say you would like to share the sunset with somebody or whatever. And you know that is your need.

[52:24]

But I don't think you should act always spontaneously, like as your need is. It's not necessarily that way that you get into your car, try to get the other person, and have a sunset with him. Because then there is the other sentence, which you said, just now is enough. So my question is, I've got the notion that there is this third space between these two sentences. On one hand, you get the need to something and realize the need. On the other hand, you've got the sentence now for now. So there must be a solution in these two points of the statement. And my question is how to draw the line between and the other sentence of now is enough without suppressing yourself, and without getting a misunderstanding of spontaneous action according to desire.

[53:38]

That's enough, right? Yes. Yes, my question relates to the example that Dr. Roshi gave in the morning. It is not that you walk down the street and suddenly think that you should have meditated in the morning and regretted what you did not do. What Roshi says is to simply do it in the moment when you have the good thoughts to basically be here and now. The conflict begins when, let's say, someone has a need for someone else, for example, when you have a romantic desire for someone, and then someone wants to break up with you, or whatever, and you recognize your need. The point is, however, probably as I understood it, not the fact that you are now spontaneously going this way or that way, by sitting in the car and driving the horse around the sun set.

[54:46]

Perhaps that is also right, but certainly not the way of the community, because on the other hand, the assumption is that now is enough. And somewhere between this now is enough and this The need that one has, I assume, is the third room that he spoke of. And my question is, how do you basically find the possibility of not suppressing your need on the one hand, but also not having the thought that one should follow every spontaneity? So how do you basically find the third room? Can you say the same thing in English and German? I mean, are you able to say it almost the same in English and German? Yeah.

[55:56]

Well, of course there is this conflict in the way I've presented it seems to be a conflict. And of course, having a sunset all by yourself at noontime is not the same as having a sunset in the evening with someone. But I think you can resolve this problem that arises from the way I described it in trying to practice it. It's like painting or potting or something.

[57:07]

There are many things, or writing, that nobody can teach you, but in the process of writing you discover how to say certain things. Sometimes I imagine, you know, I know I have a feeling I want to say something in something I'm writing. And I even may remember Sort of how I wanted to say it when I thought about it earlier. But it seems impenetrable by words. So I give up. And I decide I'll write something else. So I start writing something else about something I have to do. And a page or so later, I find I've worked my way into saying what I couldn't say before.

[58:24]

And it's the intention that led me there. The intention and the action, even though I didn't know how to do it. And practice has a lot of craft-like dimension like that. If your intention is there and you're in the details of your situation, if your mind's at the level of generalizations, you can't get very far. But if your intention is there again in the details of your situation, often something happens. If I was walking along and I... I don't know.

[59:40]

I can just... To actually think of a good example to resolve this, it might take me some time. A simple example. But I suppose if I was walking along and I felt it would be nice to be with somebody just now, I guess I'd have the feeling that if I was with that person, what would I like to give them right now? Or what would I like to receive from them? And I would say to myself maybe, Can I give that to myself just now? Can I receive that just now?

[60:46]

And with that feeling, of course the person wouldn't be there, but somehow what made me want to be with that person would be there. And with that state of mind, when I saw that person in the coming sunset. And this could be a lover or a friend or a teacher or anybody. I would probably have matured through that giving it to myself earlier so that I really could give it to that and receive it from that person at that time. Now, I don't know if I can, you know, this is what this koan is about. It's hard to describe. And I'm definitely doing the best I can.

[62:13]

Not that that's much consolation to you. Now, Suzuki Roshi says here in this section, in the... Why don't you look in the German side? Just starting there. In the second page, at least on the English side, it's the, I don't know what the first word in the German side is. Hard, just? Just, yeah. Hard. Hard? Okay. So just continue in your calm, ordinary practice. And your character will be built up. Now, Sukhyoshi is not really talking so much about... How can I say this?

[63:23]

Sukhyoshi is really not talking so much about really building up your character. You mean maybe more like build up your spiritual character. Or opening into the spiritual dimension of your life. And he says, if your mind is always busy, there will be no time to build and you will not be successful. Particularly if you work too hard on it. So he means some kind of gentleness here. Intention, but not working too hard on it. You have to leave room for ambiguity. How would you To leave room for... Ambiguity, yes.

[64:39]

Ambiguity. Ambiguity means it could be this way, it could be that way. Not decided, yeah. Undecided, yeah. Yeah. Also, dass man Raum lässt auf eine Fehldeutigkeit. Um... Yeah, you have to... Um... It's like, as I said, you have to leave room for the unexpected. It's like, as I said, I give up trying to describe this in writing and I start somewhere else. I think I'm starting somewhere else. It looks like I'm starting somewhere else. I completely feel I'm starting somewhere else. But it's a road that goes directly home. If I could do that, sometimes I'm lost in Hamburg.

[66:02]

I start down the wrong street and it doesn't always lead home. But in this kind of practice, as I'm describing it, Often if you leave room for something that's completely different, it's just what you need. And that arises from a kind of trust. A kind of trust in yourself. And you can't have this kind of trust if you're too anxious or too much in a hurry. So it's a little bit like, again, practice, mindfulness practice.

[67:13]

We were at the Thich Nhat Hanh seminar together. If you keep bringing yourself back to your breath, or as I say, you reside in your breath body, Or you bring yourself into the details of situations. You know, there's a word that means evening in English, crepuscular, and it's in French, too. Do you have it in German? No. No. Nine. Ten. What it means is particles. It's the same word. What's the same word? I've looked at the roots, I know it's the same word. So we say an evening is crepuscular.

[68:26]

It means the light is granular. It's like when the day is merging with the night, there's a point where the light becomes granular. And Ulrike speaking to me the other day suddenly said the only way I can describe what I'm experiencing in practicing is he should have to use the well-worn example of light being both wave and... And she said, sometimes I experience things where everything is waves connected by, connected to you. And she says, and sometimes that doesn't work and

[69:28]

I feel like everything has stopped into a kind of particulate. And it's almost like, you know, instead of just being in the here and now, like here I am at, this on this cushion. And I realize I'm very unique. Because no one else in the world is sitting here but me. And no one else is sitting there but you. Yeah. And here is this microphone. Yeah. Hi, Mike. Michael. And that sense of the precision and detail of things... Do you hear me?

[71:00]

Do you hear me? Oh, Mike likes flowers, so... And that sense of the precision and detail of things... The flower. The petals. The crispness of the petals and the colors. The friendly, even friendly metallic gray of the microphone. Why not? That's one kind of precision or clarity of the feeling in the present.

[72:06]

Where you really feel you have no place to go. Are the flowers better somewhere else? These petals are quite good enough. Now that's one sense of clarity and precision and place. But sometimes the detail is almost like the space itself, not just the flowers, gets into finer detail. Now, the sense of security she's trying to express is that if your mind, as it's is in this kind of detail.

[73:13]

If it's resting in these kind of details. If the topography of your consciousness is this kind of detail where you don't feel you have any place to go. And you don't feel you have anything to do. One month or one year or a lifetime down the road, you will have built up a different kind of person. It's almost as if you're following a secret road in the middle of the details. You also follow the details in the ordinary map and the road and so forth.

[74:25]

But there's also this sense of following the details in a very moment-by-moment way. They're not precise, but they're there. But precise may not be the right word. They're not fixed, but they're there. That's called being on the path or being on the way. So Sukershi goes on to say, Building character is like making bread.

[75:29]

You have to mix it little by little. Step by step. And a moderate temperature is needed. In a moderate temperature he means not too much excitement, not too much desire or hatred. So he really is talking about here, and I knew him very well, to have the sense, even as you walk down the street, that you're making bread. That the sunset is giving you something. That your various states of mind are, you're not interfering with them, but you're not too attached to them. And it's mixing little by little. And you don't interfere with the mix too much. And you know a certain temperature that this works at. You know exactly what you need.

[76:45]

Do you? So in this state of mind, the Sikirishi is talking about where you can bake. Zen bread. Or Vipassana bread or Tibetan bread. You have to have a state of mind that knows exactly what it needs. And we approach also that state of mind. Another gate to that state of mind is just now is enough. And he says, but if you get too excited, you will forget how much temperature is good for you. And you will lose your way. your own way.

[77:50]

This is very dangerous. And he says down here, but if we become interested in some excitement, even if we get interested in our own change, our own development, in improving ourselves or something, then we will become completely involved in our busy life and we will be lost. He says, you can keep yourself away from the noisy world even though you're in the midst of it. In the midst of noise and change, your mind can be quite quiet and stable. So what was your second question? I can't promise a short answer, but I'll do my best. How important is the teacher for you?

[78:59]

extremely important. Now that said, in all modesty with no bias. I don't know. I think it's important. You know, as I've said before, Buddhist practice, and I think any real teaching, is a search for friendship. And that's really in Buddhism all the teacher is. We could say practice is a search for, maybe we could put a strong word in there, ultimate friendship. And we could say here that this koan where it says, what is the great meaning of Buddhism?

[80:22]

And down below it says, the ultimate, ultimate meaning. And we could use what I think was Thich Nhat Hanh's phrase, the ultimate dimension. In a way, we could say that with a teacher and a Dharma friend. And Dharma friends are... are... either the first or second stage of practice. Usually it's either a Dharma friend leads you to a teacher, or through a teacher you find a Dharma friend. And as again I've said before, my experience and observation is that it's almost impossible to make practice work without Dharma friends.

[81:27]

So that's why Sangha is so important. I know if there's two or three people practicing together or in some relationship to each other, I immediately know there's a Buddha field there. And I immediately know it's possible to teach a little to this one and a little to that one and a little to this one, and everyone will get it. But if I know a person, very talented person, is practicing without Dharma friends.

[82:51]

I know there's almost nothing I can teach them. There's some dimension of the way and of our being that only opens up when we sometimes share sunsets. Or sometimes share meditation. Okay. So this sense of... This sense of friendship,

[84:12]

Gives us the kind of confidence. I think that making art, writing poems, painting is sometimes a substitute for friendship. It's like saying, I can't really find a friend, but I'll bait the hook here with this painting and throw it out into the population and see if I pull a friend in. Or I'll put three poems on the end of this one. I tried one before but this time I'll put three on. Is anyone out there? So somehow a painting or a poem or a friend allows us a kind of unspoken permission.

[85:17]

And the confidence and the courage. And the abandonment. Abandonment. Yeah. I don't find a word for that. Well, then don't translate it. Don't. Except... Luskulustam. Okay, luskulustam. Thanks, David. It's a vocabulary lesson we're going on. That allows you to... Look into the ultimate dimension of yourself. Something the ego can't do. The ego doesn't have the courage or the abandonment.

[86:37]

But somehow friendship sort of blurs the edges of ego. But it happens sometimes visibly when we're in love. But in practice we're always a little bit in love. And it blurs the edges of ego. and in that blur without too many fog lights sometimes we can discover the ultimate feel the ultimate dimension of reality and the ultimate dimension of ourself and this is exactly what they mean here by the

[87:49]

What is the ultimate dimension of Buddhism? It means, what is the ultimate dimension of yourself? Very friendly with your ego. To say, hey, you're a sweet guy. I've got something awfully nice for you to do. Why don't you pay attention to our breath? And the ego says, I don't think it's as nice as that CD player. Oh, no, no. We'll see the player later. Just now is enough. You're OK. Let's pay attention to our breath. So the ego says, oh, OK, but only for a few minutes. And then the edges of the ego begin to blur.

[89:09]

And if you're quick, you can push the curtain of the blur aside and step into a deeper dimension of your life. And then the ego is looking in the window. How'd you do that? Come back here. I will in a little while. And while, until I come back, have a seat. Count your breaths. It's sort of like that. Any other short questions? Yeah. I shouldn't have said that. Yes, one point of excitement, and I know feeling of state takes my meditation, and that's connected with a big excitement, real excitement, with heart beating, and an excitement that I like very much.

[90:47]

I had a vision of excitement like this, and I hear all the time that I should make a kind of decision. Again, going into the excitement. And I find it very helpful. It was that kind of excitement that brought me to that practice. That's why I wanted to practice, and I wanted to find out. Could you say something in German, please? I hear for a long time and understand intellectually that this is not exactly what it really is.

[92:26]

And I can, it is also quite difficult to explain, or rather I decide against this excitement, because I still have it. Why don't you describe one of these exciting meditations for me? I'm interested. I'm getting excited. Could you tell me something that's exciting that happens in meditation? Your heart's beating, you know. You told me. If it's too embarrassing, you don't have to, but you can tell it's good.

[93:32]

Exciting. No. Oh. No, I just want to hear it.

[93:44]

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