So, yesterday, Mary gave a very nice talk based on, she talked about love, and it brought up a number of things in my own mind, which I didn't express because it was Mary's talk. Sometimes, you know, when the person who's speaking gives a talk, it evokes things in our own mind. And so we have our own lecture going on in our own mind. And then we give a mini lecture to everyone based on our, you know, and it sounds like overreaching the speaker to give your own opinion. So we should be careful about that. So I try to be very careful about that, not to one-up the speaker with my own opinion.

[01:05]

So I appreciated her talk very much, and what I'm going to say is an extension, but not a supersede, but doesn't supersede her talk. I'll try to control my voice. So the focus came, one of the things that became a focus was the idea of loving yourself. What does it mean to love yourself? and a number of things were brought up. One thing that was brought up was the metta practice of loving in many different ways.

[02:13]

First, this is a practice, and I've done it with people here years ago, and they give this to people as a practice if they have self-loathing or something like that. Like all of you. All of us, no. First, before you can express love to others, you should be able to express it for yourself. to yourself. So this is the hardest thing, you know, for people, right? To express love for yourself. But what does that mean to express love for yourself? So first, the meditation is to express love to yourself, then to express, I'm not sure of the order, I can't remember the order, but then express love to someone who you're indifferent to, or someone who's a friend, yeah.

[03:16]

And someone you know, but not a lover. This is not Eros, this is Agape. So you express this to someone you know, and then you express it to someone you don't know, just somebody passing by. And then you express it to someone who you don't like. That's almost as hard as expressing it to yourself. For most people, when you think, How do you express love to yourself? Really interesting. I love you, Mel. Actually, I think the best way to express love for yourself is to forget yourself.

[04:18]

as Dogen says, when you let go and drop the self, then all things come to meet you as the self. So by actually, you know, not being so self-conscious, but simply Sharing yourself, and this is what Dogen is talking about all the time, is sharing yourself. Just don't worry about whether you're loving yourself, or sometimes I'll ask people to just stop being so self-loathing. Accept yourself, that's all. Just accept who you are, what you do, without judgment. But we judge, you know, is this good or am I doing a good thing or a bad thing or the right thing or the wrong thing? Well, that's important, right?

[05:22]

It's important whether you're doing the wrong thing or the right thing. But even though you may do the wrong thing, it brings up some remorse, which is okay. Remorse is good because that helps you to turn around. But the main thing is the turning. The turning is transformation. the more you can turn without projecting a subjective judgment on yourself. It's very important. So it's like forgiving yourself, forgiving in the sense of letting go of that heavy judgment which actually stopped you. So when you can see your own faults, but without putting a heavy judgment on them, then you can see where other people are, and you can accept them as well as you accept yourself.

[06:26]

So self-love is maybe like self-acceptance. Then you can accept other people's faults, so to speak, or whatever it is. And you get around to their side, so you have both sides. You include them in your circle. So there's no rough edges in a circle. There's no beginning or end or rough edges. So you're holding hands with whoever, even though there are these problems. So the problems will always exist, but there's freedom within the problems. Otherwise you have no freedom within the problems and you're always stuck with self-loathing or self, you know, denunciation or whatever.

[07:33]

We're always making mistakes. Dogen says, my life is just one continuous mistake, which doesn't mean that it's a mistake. People say, oh, it's okay to make mistakes. It is. But Dogen's life is not just mistakes. If you take this kind of statement in a dualistic way, then you think, oh, his life is all mistakes. But the mistakes are not mistakes. So anyway, my intention was to go over with you from the Ehei Shingi, Dogen's Ehei Shingi, which I gave a talk on the first day.

[08:37]

The part that Kaz Tanahashi and I translated about the officers in the monastery, the six officers, I went through that a bit. And I wanted to talk about his, present his, what he, his comments on The Kan-in. Kan-in was one of the six officers. I think in a Japanese monastery there still is a Kan-in, but in Dogen's time, the Kan-in was the chief officer of the monastery. And the Kan-in had all these duties that are now distributed among other people.

[09:41]

So the client had to do all these things. But you have to remember that in Dogen's community, there may be 20 people, not so big. You know, if you go to Japan, you go to Eheji, this huge Soto Zen monastery, which Dogen founded. There's only a little bit of it that Dogen founded, and the rest is all comes after Dogen. So there's maybe one building now, but of course the whole thing's burned down four or five times, so nothing's really original. But the community is very small, you know, and so he's talking to the monks. And when Dogen came back from Japan as a young man, I mean back from China to Japan as a young man, he, was interested in lay practice and as well as monk's practice, but in time he became much more focused on monk's practice and monk's practice in those days and up until today in most Buddhist countries makes a big differentiation between monk's practice and lay people's

[11:04]

is renunciate practice and so the monks consider themselves to be in a kind of separate world. Our practice is very different. So when we read Dogen's dissertation here, we have to keep that in mind, but I'll remind you of it. But it's interesting, when he does talk about monks' practice as being the higher practice, right away he talks about wonderful examples of lay practice, and that the monks should be inspired by the practice of these lay people. So, Dogen's Ehei Shingi is about the practical way of practice for the officers in the monastery, but the whole thing is based on love.

[12:17]

The whole thing is based on love, how the monks should practice together with love, actually, in a true sense. So there's no arrows in it. It's all agape. So it's about how the students treat each other and how the officers treat the students and how everybody relates to each other. but it's done in a very practical way. Just, you know, this is how you relate to each other. So the kanin, he says the position of kanin is to supervise all the affairs of the monastery. These include responding to government notifications and inquiries,

[13:24]

issuing letters of appreciation and congratulations, and making the community available to new monks. The Kanin takes charge of offering incense at various places in the temple and does the Jindo, like we do in the morning. The abbot's nowhere in here. I mean, he's a minor figure in here. The Kanin sees donors, takes care of celebrations, condolences, lending and borrowing, sending and receiving representatives, oversees the communal budget, makes sure that there is a financial reserve and enough stock of grain and is aware of the cash flow, and oversees the care of the annual purchase of rice and barley, the khanin supervises the making of soy sauce and vinegar, keeps track of the squeezing of oil, pounding of rice, and grinding of grain according to the season. So, you know, this is a community that takes care of itself. And these are important things to do.

[14:26]

When our Japanese priests came, when we founded Tassajara, we made pickles. They showed us how to make pickles. It's a monastic, and the pickles, they really know how to make pickles. They really know how to make pickles. If you go to Japan, there are whole stores, they're just pickle stores. But the pickles that we made were far superior to those, monastic pickles. We made pickles out of watermelon rinds and all kinds of things, great stuff. Anyway, we also learned how to pound mochi, make certain things, and I remember And Tassajara was kind of like, you know, we kind of made our food out of local stuff during Christmas or Thanksgiving.

[15:31]

I think it was Thanksgiving, couple of years. One of our gardeners studied how to make bread out of, Indian bread out of... Acorns. Someone collected tons of acorns when you're lying all over the, and you have to leach them out, you know, and it's a big, long process. And I thought the bread was great. Then I asked my wife, the other day, I said, remember that? She said, oh yeah, it was awful. Anyway. The Kannon exercises excellent caretaking mind, caretaking mind in supervising the monks. So, you know, it's like we say that to have a grandmotherly mind, the abbot has grandmotherly mind, the Kannon has motherly mind.

[16:34]

It's like, you know, you take care of people as your children. So exercise excellent caretaking mind in supervising the monks, morning and midday meals. The Kannon entertains visitors from all directions without lack of hospitality. If the Kannon has the ability, she should take care, she should take direct charge in preparing meals as ceremonial offerings to the monks on the occasions of the winter solstice, the new year, the beginning and end of summer ango, and Buddha's birthday, the fifth month, of the festival, and the seventh month festival, and the ninth month festival. In other words, all these things, you know, of managing. But nowadays, of course, the kānan doesn't do all that. The kānan is now kind of like the assistant director. It's a director, and all these duties are divided up with different people.

[17:36]

We used to have an assistant director called the Kansu, but we got rid of that. It's insane. I remember we had the Kansu, who was a nice young man, who showed up. I kept looking at his eyes. This is a Tassajara. I kept looking at his eyes, and his eyes looked funny. And I could recognize when somebody's been smoking pot by looking at their eyes. Right away, I know. Because I used to look in a mirror. So I said, well, what have you been doing? Yeah, I've been smoking pot. He said, well, you know, we don't smoke pot here. So he said, well, I'd rather smoke pot than be the Kanyan. So then we decided we don't need a Kanyan anyway, so we haven't had one since then.

[18:40]

Anyway, so you know the fifth month festival, these are secular festivals, but Bodhidharma's day is the fifth month, the fifth day of the fifth month, like the Cinco de Mayo. we could celebrate his Bodhidharma Day on the 5th. We should remember to do that, 5th of May. What day is it? Is it his birthday? Well, I say Bodhidharma Day because I don't know whether it's his birthday. It's probably both. And then, closing down to the charcoal brazier. You know, they keep their If you've ever been to a monastery in China or Japan, in China you can see it more clearly because they still have that old charcoal brazier. And they keep the fire going, kind of the coal's going all the time so that they don't have to light it every day.

[19:49]

But then at the end of the season they shut it down. There could be a heater that he's talking about. So then there's the Rohatsu celebration, the Nirvana day, and if the Kannon is unable to handle all this by himself, he should ask other officers to share the responsibility. So then minor matters as well as routine daily matters should be taken care of by the Kannon personally. In important matters and unprecedented occurrences, The khanin should discuss with the officers and those in charge and then consult with the abbot prior to carrying them out. In case the abbot or the officers appear out of line with the regulations or guidelines of the monastery or are not in accord with people's feelings regarding either major or minor matters, the khanin should quietly bring the matter to their attention." In other words, don't talk to somebody in public about some matter that should be talked about in private.

[20:53]

The Kanan should neither keep silent nor use coarse or abusive language. This is also important. Sometimes it's easy to get set off and start, you get angry at somebody and then you start, someone who's in charge of people, behavior, get kind of hot under the collar and start yelling at people or abusing them in some way. So the person who has that kind of power should not exercise it in that way. but should always be calm and considerate, even with someone who they're having a problem with, or who is provocative.

[22:00]

Do not let yourself get turned around by a provocative person. Sometimes we lose it, but you should quickly recover. The Kannon, when instructing or admonishing new trainees, should use skillful means, trying to make them understand without unreasonably using extreme means, such as beating. When punishment is needed, not the punishment's out of the question, if punishment is needed, it should be done publicly, probably so that it doesn't become a personal matter in the kitchen. Punishment should be done publicly in the kitchen and no more than ten or so blows should be administered and then it should stop. Be careful, our kitchen is rather small. What do you use your fist for?

[23:08]

Yeah, stick. See, this is 20th century. No, this is 21st century. And since you've grown up, people don't get beaten in school. But they used to, up until the 30s. And some places even more so, huh? Yeah, maybe 50s. Common, common practice. I mean, you see these movies about England, old England, and the kids getting beaten all the time. It was common practice all over the world. And this is the 12th century in Japan. So, that's one of the methods that was always used. I don't know whether that's a good thing or a bad thing. It's just, that's the way it is, or the way it was. I'm sure they don't do that anymore, but I'm not sure.

[24:15]

Probably not. They're not supposed to. No, you tell them. They peddled kids in school when I was in school. So that was, you know, 60s, 70s, they were still peddling kids in school. What kind? Peddling kids in school. Really? In your school? Not in mine. I never have it in my. Anyway, so it's paddling, yeah. I don't know whether it's good or bad, but you know, it probably helped, so. So when punishment is needed, it should be done publicly in the kitchen so that, and no more than 10 or so blows should be administered, and then it should stop. So just enough to say this is what we really mean. Maybe he took care of that self-loathing, you know, just to have somebody do that.

[25:19]

Right, yeah. The con in should be cautious so that unexpected things will not happen. In case a trainee needs to be expelled, make sure that the fault is severe enough to warrant the punishment and make sure the trainee understands the seriousness of the charge. Consult with the abbot and then carry it out. If this is carried out improperly, it may cause interference by the local authorities." So although the life of the monastery was contained, the monastery always related to the outside world. and was under, actually, not doing anything that would be different or that would go against the laws of the countryside. Did the monks have to get permission from the government to become monks?

[26:19]

Well, I know in China they did, and probably in Japan too at this time, yeah. The appointment of the following positions and jobs by the con-in should be carried out so as to benefit the residents of the monastery. One, teaching responsibility. So the con-in appoints these positions. Teaching responsibility at the branch temple in the town. So usually they would have a branch temple and that's the way people communicate with the monastery and also participate in some way. and the head of the fields, and responsibility for the charcoal or the fuel. Responsibility for soy sauce, making soy sauce, and making sure that there was enough. Responsibility for the morning meal. Usually call it the rice cook, because rice is the basic food staple.

[27:23]

They're a special person that just cooks the rice. And they're famous Zen teachers in China who used to carry their paddle around with them from one monastery to the next because they were considered really good rice cooks, like some of the most well-known teachers in China. and then caretaking of a subsidiary temple, taking charge of the Prajnaparamita Sutra Archive, and taking charge of the Afatamsaka Sutra Archive. All the temples, most of the temples have archives, like if you go to Rinzlin, Tsukiroshi's temple, in the zendo, small zendo, they have these big boxes, and in the boxes are these rolls of the Prajnaparamita Sutra, which are full of wormholes, old. They also have a big sutra storehouse.

[28:38]

This is a separate building and the sutras are contained in the center and then there's a wheel with spokes and traditionally the monks turn the wheel They're turning the sutras. In Tibet, they do that this way, you know. But they have this big wheel and they turn the sutras and chant. But nobody's done that there for a long time. And then there's the bathhouse attendant and someone who takes charge of the water supply. They have to have their own water supply. No PG&E. The head gardener. the head of the millhouse, they always mill their own food, their own grains. That's when the sixth ancestor in China came to the monastery. He was asked to go into the millhouse and then taking charge of the lamps.

[29:44]

So in appointing these positions, the Kanin should consult with the abbot each time and the appointments should not be neglected or delayed. So when donors visit the monastery, the khanin should arrange suitable seats for them and arrange them in a proper manner. When preparing a great meal offering ceremony, the khanin should discuss with other officers and those in charge and avoid unexpected errors. So the essence of the khanin's work is to revere the wise and include the many, being harmonious to the seniors and friendly with the juniors. The khanin should give comfort to the community of monks who share the same practice and encourage them to have a joyful mind. Sometimes the khanin, well some of the ino actually nowadays is called the one who gives joy to the monks, even though sometimes they just hate him. But you know, there's a story about this

[30:49]

really tough, you know, at HE, who everybody just, you know, had, he just couldn't, you know, he was so tough with them that they were always gnashing their teeth when he came by. And when he died, everybody cried. So the Kannon should not depend upon personal power or authority and belittle the members of the community. You have some position, so you have some authority and you have some power which should not be used. This is when you have a position, when we give a position, that's one of the criteria is will this person abuse this position? How will they treat people? when they have a position as a director or as, you know, in some way, or when they kind of strut around feeling arrogant or something.

[31:57]

So you should not depend on personal power or authority and belittle the members of the community. You know, often, sometimes I've had students, especially at Zen Center, who I felt were really respectful and willing and so forth to me and so I thought that they were that way with everybody, but then the students would say, He's respectful to you, but he's not respectful to us. So that gave me a big problem, how to deal with this person. And it gave them a big problem, how to deal with this person. So sometimes students will kind of, I don't want to say kiss up, but kiss up to the head.

[33:10]

and poop on the tail, you know. We have to avoid that. So, the Kannon should not depend upon personal power or authority and belittle the members of the community. The Kannon should not carry out things willfully and make the members of the community insecure. So, ordering people around and changing things and kind of intimidating. Sometimes we have some personal power, and so we maybe get used to intimidating people with it, and if it doesn't come back to us, it becomes a habit or a way of doing things. So when not sick or meeting with government officials, The kanin should follow the zendo schedule. The value of this monastic arrangement is that it enables the kanin, as well as the workers in the kitchen, to share the same practice.

[34:17]

If the stock in the storehouse falls short, the kanin should do his best to solve the problem without overburdening the abbot or broadcasting to the community. So, sometimes the abbot should be informed, sometimes it's okay not to. and to know when to do which takes discernment. One of the things that we learned is if someone is overlooked in a decision that shouldn't be overlooked in a decision, that person will cause you a lot of problems just naturally. So everyone that needs to be either informed or whose vote or his voice needs to be heard or just needs to be recognized in a group, cannot be overlooked in a decision or in asking how things should go.

[35:22]

Sometimes we want to do something quickly and get it done, and so we bypass someone who Maybe their vote doesn't matter, you know, but still that person's bypassed. And then it looks like somebody's grabbing power. When they're not, they're just, you know, forgetting you, you know, or forgetting me. But if I'm forgotten, then I feel left out. And if I'm left out, I cause you a problem. These are very important things in a community, very important things. And if you don't tell me what you're doing, even though I know what you're doing, I feel neglected. You're taking your own, making things up on your own. But sometimes it's okay. Don't bother me, just go ahead.

[36:28]

So you have to know which is which. So take some sensitivity. And sensitivity to everyone around you is what's really important. If I'm not sensitive to what's going on with everybody, when I do something, then boom, you know, somebody will whack me on the head in some way. I feel it, I get it some way. the more responsible your position, the more sensitive you have to be to it. What you're gonna do is going to affect everyone. And if you're not, then you'll find out. You know? Oh, geez, why does that hurt? Well, you know, you're not paying attention. But then some people are very oversensitive, you know? So you have to know when to ignore them. You know, when to cut it, what's enough and what's too much.

[37:35]

And help someone who's overly sensitive to calm down. So, Oh yeah, to share the work, you know, the value of the monastic arrangement is that it enables the Kannon as well as the worker in the kitchen to share the same practice. So for me to work in the kitchen yesterday was to share the same practice, you know, in that way, in that hands-on way. It's really wonderful. I remember Suzuki Roshi, when we were at Tassahara, saying, well, you know, there's nothing special here. All I want to do is just, you know, eat with you, work with you, talk with you, sit zazen with you, you know, not do anything special, but just to have that community practice.

[38:46]

And Dogen says that's all there is to it, even though he, you know, wrote a hundred fascicles and But it's all about that, really. It's all about how to harmonize. So the Kanyan should encourage and praise those colleagues who have ability and virtue. Those who cannot carry on their duties or whose practice is doubtful should be given advice privately, but not admonished in public. The khanin should make an effort to uplift and refresh their spirits in order that they may continue in the dharma. In other words, to encourage people and inspire people. If they have a great fault and are doing damage to the monastery, he should report this in confidence to the abbot. Matters relating to form can be improved by watching quietly without words. That's an interesting statement.

[39:52]

Matters relating to form can be improved by watching quietly without words. In other words, you don't always have to say something. Sometimes we see people not doing things the way they should be done. But if you keep making an issue of it, then it turns into fault finding. So there's a subtle difference between correcting something and fault-finding. And sometimes we go over the line in correcting people and when it's done insensitively, it becomes fault-finding. And when it's done obsessively, it becomes fault-finding. It's best way is to just find a way to, be an example. And then, the second best way is to skillfully let somebody know how they can do something correctly.

[41:14]

Whenever we're corrected, unless we have no ego whatsoever. There's always a reaction. Always a reaction when we're corrected. And so when we correct somebody, we have to adjust for that. I know this is gonna happen, but how can I correct somebody in a way that it'll happen the least? It'll be the least kind of reaction. And the reaction, can be strong enough to blot out the correction. Or it can be, you know, let that in and work with it. But if you correct someone with compassion for the person, then it's much easier for the person to feel okay about it. Then it's almost not correcting, it's you're helping somebody because you're acknowledging your good feeling, your, you know, agape about them.

[42:22]

And that you are not better than they are because you know something that they don't. So one of the things that creates a problem is hierarchy in correction. When I correct you, that puts me on a higher level than you, and then I'm on the lower level looking up to you. So how do you get to where you're both on the same level? So that you're not raising yourself up and putting someone else down. It's very important. And so people say, well, so-and-so is arrogant, you know, or they're always correcting me or something like that. But if you can correct somebody without correcting, then that doesn't happen.

[43:25]

And you can do something in a way that person will feel grateful rather than corrected. Yeah. What comes up for me is how important it is to make the correction. Right, how important is it to make the correction? Right, what's important and what's not. Everything is important and yet it's okay that it's not done right. First place, it's got to be okay that it's not done right and then this is the way we do it. if you like to do it that way, or that's a little too soft, but if we get attached to the importance of it, that's the problem. So nothing's important, and yet everything's important. So sometimes you have to take the stance that nothing's important.

[44:33]

And then sometimes you take the stance that yes, everything's important, and you have to be able to do both at the same time. Otherwise, you end up in frustration. It seems like the important thing is supporting people's practice. And if you make the correction, otherwise they can feel awkward because they're doing something wrong and then they realize it. So if it's done from that state of mind, how can I help you practice, then I think you can make a correction. If you're showing them that this is the right way to do it and you should do it, then I don't think it works. Well, it should, see, it's a problem. There's rules and there's custom. When I was at Zen Center at Page Street, there's the kaisando. You go up the stairs and there's the kaisando, the founder's room. You go up the stairs and there's the statue of Suzuki Roshi and the little room where you do the service for the founder.

[45:36]

And then when you walk by the room, you bow. Then every time you walk by the room, you bow. And people would sometimes question that. So I thought about it and I thought, well, I'm not telling you what the rule is. I'm not saying that you have to bow at the founder's office because it's a rule, but it's our custom. Customarily, we do that. So all of us, we all feel good about this custom that we have, but I'm not saying you have to bow there. It's just the way we do things. So that takes the pressure off of you have to do this because it's the rule. The less rules you have, the better, actually. The less rules you have, the better. But we do have customs. And the customs help to keep the community mind unified. That's why we do the same things, because it keeps the community mind unified, and then we have a strong community mind, which doesn't mean, which can also be dangerous.

[46:48]

But if it's authoritarian, it's dangerous. If it's done by rules, then it can become authoritarian. But if it's done by custom, then it's not authoritarian. A little authoritarian, but not enough to make a difference. So if you do it by custom, it means that you're putting your heart into the community and sharing that practice with the community because you want to, not because it's a rule. So that's another thing, you know, about correcting people is that this is the rule and you have to obey the rules. No, it's a custom and we all share this kind of, you know, we want to do our best in order to help each other to practice and that's why we do these things.

[47:55]

Beings are numberless.

[48:29]

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