Does anyone, someone have something you'd like to say? Yes? Kislia? So I would like to contribute. Comfort me? That too, probably. Contribute. Contribute, oh. Contribute to what other people said and speak about my own practice. Sure, thanks. When I began to practice, I, or better in Deutsch. Please in Deutsch first, at least. Zu Beginn meiner Praxis, also vor vielen, vielen Jahren, habe ich immer nur gehört, bleibe bei deinem Atem. When I started practicing many years ago, what I always heard was, stay with your breath.

[01:02]

Aber das hat nie funktioniert. but it never worked out. For me it was not doable because it was too one-sided, just orient myself to the breath. It only resulted in increased rate of heartbeat and tension. And until I came to the conclusion, also through lectures and DocSans, to include the body. Until I found out and started to do it by input from lectures and also through DocSans to include the body into this.

[02:06]

That's a good idea. And that's what I'm trying to do and increasingly trying to experience and experience everything through the body. And this is especially helpful and also successful when I'm in nature. So I can really feel what the surrounding does with me. And then I read some time ago that it is also helpful in contact with other people, in conversations.

[03:20]

And some time ago I also read that when you are with another person, talking with somebody, it's good not immediately try to grasp what the other person brings up with the mind, but just feeling the other person. This is very helpful for me to establish by that establishing a relationship which is on the same level. What I also felt for myself is that the posture of the body has a lot of influence on my inner posture. And I also felt and experienced that my posture has great effect on my experience.

[04:31]

And also helps me sometimes with my health problems. But still I forget it again and again. And returning to the breath, when I'm established in my body, then the breath can flow freely. I can perceive him and also follow what Roshi said before the lunch break, that is, inhale and exhale and also try to strengthen, to strengthen him in terms of quality. And I also can then enter what you talked about before lunch to really experience the in-breath and the out-breath and to increase the experience of that.

[05:51]

Yeah. This is good. Thank you. Yesterday there was an addition, a practice that I have been practicing since the beginning and I am not even so aware that I am doing it because it is so normal. In addition to yesterday, there is a practice which I have been doing from the beginning and it has become so natural that I even don't notice it anymore. Das ist diese Türfreienübung. This is the doorstep practice. The threshold, and you climb up through there. So to enter the room with the leg that is closer to the hinge?

[07:01]

Hinge, yes. And I do that every day, almost in every room I enter. And for me that has the effect that I orientate myself consciously. I leave one room and enter another. So this is what's happening in my day when I enter a room, and what comes out of it is a kind of conscious orientation that I'm entering a new space. But what is more important than that? When I bring my attention to it, I create a kind of in-between state or space.

[08:04]

to feel, to feel and to explore, and to remain consciously in this in-betweenness, without me... This is a time when I practice with it more and more. I don't want to have an answer at all, how it goes on, but remain consciously in this in-betweenness. And what I'm doing is that I'm feeling into it, in this in-between space, and kind of examining it, but not trying to find out what is the next step. Just willingly stay there without finding an answer. And then you see it in the guts of many. Then it's done. There's this... Sometimes it's difficult to stay in that space.

[09:20]

And I notice all the inner processes, habits or ways I'm usually doing it, did usually do it, how I could pass by this in-between space. And the other thing is that this... this... creativity that exists in this room, Intentionally staying within this sphere, I notice how it's possible to be creative from this space.

[10:40]

And if I'm able to stay there and hold it, what kind of transformative power there is within the space. And also... Working as a therapist, it's also for people who are open to that, it's wonderful to be able to work within that sphere. And a very small addition to yesterday and this topic of farewell and what happens to me in this room, which became clear to me this morning, in addition to this grief and meaning that you are slowly withdrawing, And also in addition to yesterday and to this morning and the topic of your retiring and the, what is the word?

[12:01]

Some kind of sadness. Sadness or grief about that. You also give space. where something new can arrive. And the thought was, yes, that's what happens. He's giving space. Yeah, big space. It's going to get bigger and bigger. Yes, good. Yes. Following up to... The title, Doorstep Zen, implies a lot of what Hans said.

[13:03]

Yeah, that's true. Coming, being here and going. Yeah. Threshold mind. I could use what Hans said to riff a bit if you'd like, but otherwise I'll see if I can come back to it if someone wants to say something right now. Yes, go ahead. Do you like a chair?

[14:18]

We have one. So from what Hans said, I could relate to this creativity he was talking about. And what I experience is that there is a kind of small distance where I can observe the moment or I can relate to the moment. And if I am in that kind of in-between space, I also can listen to myself and receive what I am saying.

[15:22]

because it's not me that is speaking in that sphere. So the term that comes up for me is co-creativity, because everything that is there all at once comes together. Yeah, thank you. Yes. A very short addition. What I am interested in for a long time now and what I am researching is, when I am in this space, my very strong experience is When I'm in this in-between space, and this is something that I have been exploring and I'm interested in, I would say that there is an orderly force within me, a formation force, which somehow

[16:50]

So there seems to be a kind of force or something that gives order to my inner process. Yeah. Yeah. Yes, Isabel. Something different. Before you said that you commented the birth of your grandchild with the remark that there is a new human being that has to learn how to die. And I feel it's kind of tough, maybe, that you can say it like that, because of course this is true, but it's also a kind of taboo.

[18:14]

So if I would say that, people would maybe answer, how can you be so pessimistic? Yes, I know. But that's what I love. I think... That is why I'm here, because I'm looking for, I'm seeking the kind of truth that is maybe painful, but I also feel it in my bones. Okay. And I wanted to say something toward vanity. Okay. If I wouldn't be Wayne, I wouldn't be here. Really? Because I'm somebody who seeks, because I'm not satisfied with things as they are.

[19:38]

Was hat das mit Eitelkeit zu tun? Es ist leiden, genau, weil ich leide. Mit der Vergänglichkeit, mit der Rücklage. Because I'm suffering, and that is because I cannot deal with impermanence. Not really. It would be a lie. It would be a lie for me to say that I can deal with it easily. With every breath, out-breath, I'm getting closer to that dissolution. Okay. But you dissolve every night. Is that no problem for you? I don't really dissolve. Does she dissolve every night? No. He dissolves too.

[20:58]

How should he know? He's married to her. They dissolve together. So I can easily follow up on what Isabella said. I could sign it. Later, I'll get the papers. Yes. I have been practicing with it immediately for a long time and this was really enjoyable for me. So it was like getting gifts all the time because there were all these surprises again and again.

[22:02]

I have been practicing with that during practice period and then I asked Roshi how could I locate myself more within this immediacy. And he said to me that I'm quite well located in immediacy, but I should be aware not to put the concept on immediacy. Yes. And that hit me so hard, because it suddenly became clear to me, yes, I have always made a choice, and directness does not allow for a choice. It means that I simply have to let myself in at any moment. And this really hit me because I noticed that I always make a choice and that immediacy really means not making any choices.

[23:38]

I have to give myself to the moment just as it is. And from my personal karma, I noticed that I had been confronted with immediacy in a quite shocking way. And what I tried to do was to be somehow prepared for this shocking negative quality of immediacy. And this is like horses going in different directions while they are put in front of one wagon. I noticed this and I noticed that I have taken the mouth to full with immediacy and then

[25:00]

And then on the spot I forgot to practice with immediacy and it disappeared. And in some seminars you're talking about immediacy, and I think, well, I heard about that. I had a practice at some point. But what I want to say at the end, I mean, of course, that's the truth. I don't get around it. And I can't exclude it, but it's really for me, So this is really existential for me to look how much can I give myself into that. And it's a very tough struggle. And this is to life. Thank you. Thank you for saying that so clearly.

[26:33]

Thank you for saying that so clearly. Sorry. Danke, dass du das so klar gesagt hast. Where were you? Thinking. Oh. OK. What I thought was that it's very beautiful how you express things so clearly. It feels very good for me. I think that we need that. I think that we need that. Are you referring to her or are you referring to me? I'm referring to them both.

[27:38]

Okay, yeah. For us it's forest, because you brought this image, that forest is the Sangha. And I have a calligraphy by Kazuaki Tanahashi at home. It says forest underneath, but he also told us that this is actually the Sangha. For us as Sangha, It's important that we can just cross certain thresholds. Doorsteps. Above all, it's important that we can cross certain doorsteps. And we can only do that together. Because only then will it become reality. because only then it becomes reality. And what I mean by that is, for example, what does it mean to be connected?

[28:47]

What does connectedness really mean? What does interdependence really mean? And what does... miteinander eine Praxis zu teilen, die zum großen Teil in der Dunkelheit stattfindet. What does it mean to share a practice that happens to a big part within darkness? Und wir müssen uns wirklich was trauen. We have really to be daring. Please. Thanks. Thanks. So a little, a small thought. What came up for me is the question, how did they do it after Buddha's death with the Abhidharma? How did they do it? How did they do it when they met after Buddha's death with the Abhidhamma?

[30:10]

So they put together all these lists and they thought about what they should take in and what not. Yes, and who did it? Did one do it? Did several do it, a small group, a large group? Yes, I don't know who did it exactly, but I think to myself, we are doing it today, So we are trying to find out how we can practice tatsächlichkeit, actuality in Western Live. Yes. And then there are such questions and so on. So I think that we are also thinking about how to do this when Rojima is not there.

[31:17]

And I think it's good that we do this together. And we also are thinking about how we should do it when Roshi is not here. And it's important that we do it together and that we bring things together. So like they tried to do it at that time. Well, that's a good thought. How are you going to do it together? I mean, we can say that, but there has to be some kind of shared intention and probably somehow given some kind of institutional form. I mean, science is an institution, even though it's not all in one place. But it's an institution in the sense it shares certain concepts like evidence, facts, you know, experimentation and so forth.

[32:41]

So a community developed. It's interesting to me because my main subject in graduate school, in addition to Buddhism, was the history of science and technology. And there's a new book out by a man named Woten, W-O-O-T-O-N, I think. I think it's called The Invention of Science, A New History of the Scientific Revolution. The Invention of Science. And it's not this thick.

[33:49]

It's like starting to read Musil, The Man Without Qualities, or something like that. But it's a completely brilliant book. I'm just astonished. And he overturns or makes much more subtle many of the things that I studied in university. But really, until there were certain shared terms about what a fact is, and so forth. Science didn't really exist. It existed when there became a common way to talk to each other and you had some knowledge of how the other person would understand what you said.

[34:57]

So we're not there yet, but maybe we're approaching it. Way back in the 60s and 70s, I was enlisted to try to form something like the early groups after the Buddha died to decide on what Buddhism would be in the West. And I knew I didn't know enough to really intelligently participate in such a meeting. The degree to which I would have been a necessary participant, they didn't happen.

[36:14]

The degree to which I would have been an essential participant, these meetings didn't happen. Okay. In other words, San Francisco Zen Center was well enough known that if the San Francisco Zen Center didn't participate, they just didn't do it. Okay. But, you know, we have to start sometime. And as I think most of us have noticed, just creating a place makes a big difference.

[37:25]

And even if you can't come here very often, the fact that you know practice is ongoing here helps you feel your own practice ongoing somewhere else. And in those days, the only thing going for the... I mean, in those days, early days, I mean, they communicated much more than we can imagine, given they didn't have telephones and things like that.

[38:34]

So there was a huge... flow of communication, but it extended over years and decades rather than over months or weeks. But much like science, the development of Buddhism in India and then China and Japan attracted the most talented people in the society. Yeah. Now, as Dorothea said, or could have said that it was time for a break.

[39:49]

So I think let's have a pause. And the things I might say and would like to say, see if they stay until after the break. Und ich schaue, ob die Dinge, die ich sagen könnte oder gerne sagen würde, nach der Pause noch da sind. Okay. In Ordnung. ... Hi, everyone.

[41:35]

Now, Matthew Peters who built this stairway for us. And it's really the person, along with my brother-in-law, former brother-in-law, who have designed the Zendo. And Jonitz, who did the drawings from Romania. are coming here next Tuesday, I think, to look into what we want to do with the north end of the sendo. Now there's two big doors there that can open into another building, another space, an entryway.

[42:48]

And I'm wondering what we should do. Yeah, and I think that... If it's more than a small project, it probably ought to... See if we can do it while I'm still here. But I don't know. In a way, it's kind of arbitrary. What we have done so far has all been, from my point of view, necessary, because I can't imagine how we would have continued without the capacity to do ANGO. But we can do without increasing the size of the Zendo. making another kind of entry and alter.

[43:57]

So we'll see. I bring this up as a way to speak about the difference between yoga culture and Western culture. I think that we want to practice Buddhism. We need to enter into a more yogic culture, but it doesn't mean we have to become Japanese. Or Chinese. So I'm just going to see if I can try to give you a feeling for the... for the differences.

[45:05]

I've spoken about it in various ways. Now I'll speak about it in similar and different ways, maybe. But Otmar came to me a while ago, this morning at the break, I guess, Ottmar ist vor einer Weile oder heute in der Pause zu mir gekommen. And said, people are rather cold, and do you have a heater here, an electric heater here? Ottmar sagte, den Leuten ist ziemlich kalt, können wir noch eine Heizung aufstellen? I didn't happen to have one, but, you know. Zufällig hatte ich keine, aber, ja. So... The Zendo, as it's presently conceived, is a western building.

[46:09]

The Zendo, as it's presently conceived, is a western building. While its content, its construction, is Japanese wood joinery. während seine Konstruktion diese japanische Holzverbindungstechnik ist. But why is it a western building in conception? Und warum ist es in der Art, wie es erdacht ist, ein westliches Gebäude? Because it has walls. Weil er Wände hat. So I think the group of folks who went to Japan recently noticed that most of the Sendos have big roofs, but no walls or sliding walls, etc. And it's interesting how the shops in Kyoto, which is still fairly traditional...

[47:10]

The whole front of the shop opens up. There's like a... The fourth wall isn't there. And I think that those of you who went to Japan with... together with Nicole and my daughter Sally recently. Notice that from the point of view of the shop owner, keeper, the space of the street does not extend into the shop. dass ihr bemerkt habt, dass für den Geschäftsbesitzer der Raum der Straße sich nicht in das Geschäft erstreckt. But the space of the shop extends into the street.

[48:26]

Sondern der Raum des Geschäfts, den erstreckt sich bis auf die Straße. And somewhat the way we'd have if a cafe has tables out in front of the street. That's really the shop. You can cut through there, but you're cutting through tables and it's the kind of restaurant space. And I remember when I first got the clue about this, Because Sukhirishi used to ask me to read the koan texts or whatever he was speaking about, when it came time he wanted the English text read, he'd ask me to do it. When he was giving lectures. So I usually sat in the middle of the first row.

[49:30]

And I remember once somebody said, and I've mentioned this before, but somebody said, geez, it's cold in here, can't we close the window? Or it's hot in here, can't we open the window? And I remember when someone said, oh, it's hot here, can we open a window? Or, oh, it's cold here, can we close the window? And Sukhiroshi said, yeah, you can open the window. And then he sotto voce, under his breath, said to me, said to everyone, but nobody heard it but me, I think, why don't you just adjust your body heat? Uh-huh. Now, this does not mean Japanese people don't get cold. They have sweaters and all kinds of things, you know. They have some beautiful, real thick clothes. padded items that go under kimonos.

[50:44]

But it means that they think the first responsibility, if it's hot or cold, the responsibility of being hot or cold is the responsibility of the body, not the outside world. So actually that remark of Suzuki Roshi led me a couple of years later to ask him how to develop heat yoga and practice heat yoga. And he said to me, it helps if you practice it when it's very cold. Yeah, and in those days we basically had an unheated zendo at Tassajara.

[51:56]

Was it unheated when you were there too? Do you remember Brit Pylund? He was at Tassajara in the early days, and the only heat we had was kerosene lanterns, because there was no electricity, so we had kerosene lanterns in the room. And like our path here has lights all along it. In Tassajara in those days, there were kerosene lanterns which had to be lit. Somebody had to light all the candles and put them out later. But anyway, Brit Piland, he must have had, I don't know, let's say that I'm exaggerating, 20 kerosene lanterns in his room. Boy, did it stink.

[53:04]

You go in there and go... Just like that cheap kerosene we have sometimes. Okay, so if you grow up with the feeling that hot and cold is, first of all, a responsibility of the body, and secondarily, well, geez, maybe I put on a sweater or something. Now, we're not going to change our bodies overnight or in the next ten years so that we don't get so cold. But if you go up thinking the responsibility is first of all the body, you begin to develop ability to kind of tune the body, at least to some degrees.

[54:12]

And all these people who are global warming deniers, And say, oh, a couple degrees, you know, doesn't make any difference. But if you are two or three degrees higher in body temperature, you may be pretty sick. Okay. So... As a result, the clothes are designed – one of the things that we tie off the waist. If you don't tie off the waist, the body kind of heats itself inside your clothes. So the clothes are designed to be like a sleeping bag. So the wide obi, which you put on the bones of the hips, not around your stomach, allows this to be open.

[55:20]

Now, if our Zendo was a Zendo in Japan, the two north doors would be basically open all year round. dann würden diese zwei Nordtore einfach das ganze Jahr über offen sein. Wir können aber nicht einmal die Fenster öffnen, ohne dass es Beschwerden gibt. Nicht einmal so viel. Otmar and I aren't bothered by hot and cold much. So we keep wanting to open the windows. But unfortunately you can't sneak over there and open them quietly because everybody knows.

[56:37]

All right. So again, I'm not saying you all, we all should... start having yogic bodies. But we can learn something from the differences. Okay. So you can, for instance, know that the torso and how you handle the torso with breathing and focus has a lot to do with whether you're hot or cold. Du kannst zum Beispiel lernen, dass die Art, wie du mit deinem Oberkörper umgehst, viel damit zu tun hat, ob dir heiß ist oder kalt. Eines Tages, nachdenkend über den einsammelnden Weg und den gewährenden Weg, Yeah, I said to myself, sitting in the lecture, what the heck is he teaching us?

[57:57]

And I remember at the time I thought, well, if I review everything he's teaching us, he's teaching us attitudes. No, I... Yeah, I got that. But I didn't get it in the way I do now. Okay. So I'm... We are a lot farther along now, 30, 40 years later, 50 years later, 60 years later. Then we were back then in San Francisco in the 60s. So the martial arts and yoga and all, etc., have done a lot of the work for us.

[59:04]

So we can more easily assimilate some aspects of yoga culture into our Zen practice. Okay, so when Suzuki Rishi said that, No, when I recognized that what he's teaching is attitudes, I didn't, you know, I started practicing attitudes. And in a somewhat... primitive way compared to now, I practiced the attitudes as a kind of invisible body which I inhabited.

[60:13]

But in those days, you know, we were lucky to have the word mindfulness. And the English word is quite useful. And though I actually preferred mindful attention, but mindfulness is fine. Und obwohl ich eigentlich achtsame Aufmerksamkeit bevorzuge, ist Mindfulness auch in Ordnung. But now I would say much better than the word mindfulness is attentional attunement. Aber jetzt würde ich sagen, viel besser als Achtsamkeit ist aufmerksame Eingestimmtheit.

[61:14]

Now, attentional attunement is something you can do. And it's an attitude, but it's now we've given, taking the, the words really make a difference in how you practice. So attentional attunement is much more descriptive than mindfulness. So it means that you bring your attention to, you first of all have to develop the muscle of attention. And when you bring attention to the hailing, inhaling and exhaling, You're not only building the territory experience of successional identity, but you're also developing attention itself. Du entwickelst auch Aufmerksamkeit selbst.

[62:34]

Until it's almost like you have a built-in searchlight. Nobody can see the light, but you feel objects are almost, yeah, somehow inside you. Und bis du so fast das Gefühl hast, dass du so eine innere Taschenlampe hast, so dass Objekte sich anfühlen, als wären sie in dir drinnen. The other day during zazen I mentioned inner living space and outer living space. And one of the things you're doing also by doing zazen regularly... It's... Zazen has a profound effect on us psychologically and emotionally and so forth. But the physiologically transformative Zazen is almost entirely, is entirely dependent on regular Zazen, really virtually every day if possible.

[63:37]

20 minutes isn't bad, though. There's an interoceptive attunement going on. Your organs are beginning to organize themselves in a consummate way. And that gets out of tune after a few days of not sitting. And also you're developing an inner living space in contrast to an outer living space. Now we all know that phenomenology, Husserl and etc., emphasizes that the sensorium, the world of appearance, is happening within your sensorium.

[65:07]

Well, it's easy to understand that as a philosophical argument. or biological fact. But it's not, for most of us, biologically, personally, emotionally experienced as an inner space. But it is experienced. It isn't experienced, but for most of us. Yeah. So one of the challenges of zazen, of what we could call advanced zazen or advanced practice perhaps, Well, if I pick this up, right?

[66:11]

Again, I've mentioned these things so many times. But if I pick this up, obviously, I'm picking it up and there's a quality of mind is part of the experience. Yeah, and... If I lift my hand, there's a quality of mind appears as well as my hand appears, mind appears. Now, you do very simply, it takes a while, you have to train yourself that every time you do something, you see mind appear as well as the object. And sometimes, like from 50 years ago, I use the example of if you concentrate on this... These are beads, those of you who went to Japan got me as a present.

[67:28]

Thank you very much. And each one has an eye in it. I mean, the seed happens to have the shape of an eye in it. So if you're trying to look at this, It's very hard if it's moving. Right. And if you're moving too, it's really hard. Okay, so if you can physically become still and still the field of mind, it's much easier to to see this even if it's moving.

[68:31]

And strangely, the whole earth is the true human body. When you really still the field of mind, somehow, magically, it feels like the world itself slows down and stops. Wenn du wirklich den Mind beruhigen kannst, fühlt es sich an, als ob die Welt selbst zur Stille kommt. So that becomes part of attentional attunement. Und das wird Teil dieses aufmerksamen Einstimmens. The attunement of attention also attunes what you're observing. Also attunes what you're observing.

[69:40]

So, you know, many of you have used the phrase already connected instead of assuming, as our culture does, already separated. And now maybe we want to bring that a step further and say, already the same body. Because one of the huge things that is the... The global warming deniers what their posture is. It's interesting.

[70:42]

Deep down, there's a feeling of many people, God wouldn't do this to us. It's interesting. At the same time, those same people think that the human domain is the real domain, and the rest are just stuff, objects, trees you cut down to... you know, create farmland and so forth. Or burn, you know. So the global warming deniers deny that the physical world is part of our human life, is inseparable from our human life. And God somehow is not the nature creator, you know, etc. And so on and so on. Anyway, so what we need to do is say this physical world is us.

[72:03]

We are objects in a world of alive objects. Can you say it again? we're physical objects, which are part of a world of physical objects, which is in itself what we call lifing. I call it lifing. And until our troops, our troops, troops, until we have Dharma troops who really know this, I don't know who's going to hear the wake-up call. Maybe the people you want to do should be called the Dharma troops. So if I again take this and I say concentrate on it, And you develop an ability to concentrate on it.

[73:27]

Now, this is one of the early Buddhist techniques. You notice your attention goes away and comes back, goes away and comes back, etc., And it's not a small yogic skill when finally your attention first of all starts coming back by itself and then finally rests wherever you put it. And it doesn't go away. Now, when it's resting and doesn't go away, I can take this away. And you're still concentrated. What are you concentrated on now? You're concentrated on mind itself.

[74:29]

So the object of concentration becomes mind. Now, when the object of concentration becomes mind, you can begin to internalize the best word I can use, that experience so you know the elixir of mind itself as a domain of lifing. And that's part of the same phenomena of noticing mind on every object you lift up. Until finally there's a shift and you feel a field of mind in which objects appear, but don't appear because of the object, but is there prior to the object appearing.

[75:34]

Now we're getting closer to what Zen Buddhism means by mind-to-mind transmission. Okay. Okay. And it's interesting, you know, like I'm driving here. And the other day, coming from Freiburg. So, I'm just exploring how to speak about the inner living space and the outer living space. Und ich erforsche nur, wie ich darüber sprechen kann, diesen inneren Lebendigkeitsraum und den äußeren Lebendigkeitsraum.

[76:37]

Now, I don't know if there's a kind of poetry to any description like this, but you have to feel it as a kind of poetry or metaphoric. So you're driving, and of course you're driving in outer living space, because there's real cars out there. But you can shift to the inner living space, which we develop by regular zazen, And then suddenly the whole road and all the cars feel like they're inside you, driving in a big space. And it still feels safe.

[77:41]

But you have to remind yourself, there's real cars out there. Years ago in the... 70s and 80s, I used to kind of worry about that because I thought, that's a real person crossing the street. I better stop the car. But now it's a very familiar experience to me to feel all of you as an interior experience. And within this experience you can slow down immediately. Okay. Okay. Now, Hans Vossmann here mentioned that he practices this which I suggested years ago, that you step into a room with the foot nearest the hinge of the door.

[79:08]

And what struck me when you said that And what I noticed when you said that is the degree to which those things are not taught in Japan. I teach it because, partly coming to Europe, Because we... Now, what I would not suggest we do to be like Japanese.

[80:14]

The Japanese mimic each other. You know, I used to watch it. It used to drive me nuts, a little bit. Because you're driving along, I'm giving you an example of something, driving along with Nagasaki Sensei and a Rinzai Roshi, soon to be a Roshi, and they were taking me somewhere. And the monk would roll down the window. So Nagasaki would roll down the window. And then the monk would push the visor down, the sun visor, and then Nagasaki would push it.

[81:15]

He didn't need to push the sun visor down, but he pushed the sun visor down too. And if you're a Westerner, an individuated Westerner, it's not monkey see, monkey do. But it can be quite annoying. But what they're doing is they value the space, the in-betweenness, more than their individuation. They value more the attentional attunement between them more than they value, oh, I'm a particular separate person. And whenever I think of orchestral musicians, I think of my dear fellow practitioner, Gisela.

[82:18]

And whenever I think of orchestra musicians, I think of my dear comrade in practice, Gisela. And I notice in particular watching the people I practice with, I notice that orchestral musicians get practice quicker in some ways and differently than others. But now, instead of speaking about Gisela, who was my daughter's cello teacher at one time, she's still completely engaged with music. But it's my middle daughter, Elizabeth, who sings with the San Francisco Opera I'm speaking about now. And she feels that her growing up in a Zen household and in a Zen Sangha community has helped her be an opera singer.

[83:37]

Because making very refined attentional distinctions was not new to her. When you're singing in an opera, and this is something I've kind of felt out with her, you have to carry the narrative So each syllable you sing and has a particular sound, but it also has to have a psychological component to carry the narrative.

[84:49]

Now, I watched her with her teacher, Olivia Stapp, who used to be an opera singer in Europe. Ich habe sie mit ihrer Lehrerin Olivia Stipe beobachtet, die in Europa Opernsängerin war. She's married to an old friend of mine, a physicist, and somehow making a connection, Olivia became Sophia's opera teacher. Die mit einem alten Freund von mir, einem Physiker, verheiratet ist, und über diese Verbindung wurde sie Elisabeths Lehrerin. Okay, so... Elizabeth and Olivia work together. And she's supposed to, expected to sing a certain syllable, a certain note. She sings a certain syllable as a note, a sound.

[85:58]

And she has to, at that moment, also recognize that someone died. And in the next syllable, she has to lift her head slightly, feeling, I need help. And that syllable has to be asking for help. And each syllable is like that. And then she's expected to move the location of the note to different parts of her body. So one note comes from focusing on one part of her body, the next note comes from focusing on another part of her body. This is quite complex. Then on the opera stage, when it's happening, the whole opera company, and they try to choose people who can do this, has to feel they're in a similar viscous state

[86:59]

liquid, a viscous field in which everyone is moving like you're watching fish in a pond, although fish are moving in relationship to each other or birds in a flock. And if an opera performance takes place, then it is expected that it is coordinated and that the individual performers are connected by a kind of viscosity, as they share fish in the water or maybe birds in the air. Now when she describes this to me and what it feels like, I mean, she's just totally thrilled by the experience of being in the opera and feeling everyone singing together. And yet your body attuned to everyone else's. She gets excited just driving across the Bay Bridge to get to the opera rehearsal. And in complete harmony with the others. Now, Japanese yogic culture tries to achieve this and tries to design the culture to achieve this.

[88:32]

And we try to give a feeling for this through Ango practice. Now, I don't think we're going to become Japanese again. But it's interesting to notice about this difference. So it's not just a ritual that you go through the door with your foot by the hinge. You are attuning yourself to the physical world. You're finding a point like, oh, I can be in tune with the door and then I can feel the room as if the room was totally new. Du stimmst dich ein, du stimmst dich ein mit der Tür und dann kannst du den Raum betreten, so als ob er völlig neu wäre.

[89:36]

Yeah, now I... I shouldn't say this. Because some of you are going to come to Tokyo in a minute. But the first thing I notice is when a person comes into doksan, do they notice maybe they could bow to the Manjushri that's on the opposite wall? Some people do, some people don't. And I don't want to tell people to do it, but here I am telling you to do it, and that's why I'm so unhappy. I mean, the reason they don't tell you in Japan is because they want you to find, like... walking through the door. They want you to develop that through your attentional attunement and not that somebody cognitively tells you walk through the door. I mean, and then you decide who's got enough attentional attunement to really train as a Buddhist.

[90:42]

When Suzuki Roshi was the Anja for his teacher, As Suzuki Roshi was having tea with a guest, and Suzuki Roshi as a young, he was like in a teenager, I think, And Suzuki Roshi was very young, a teenager. He came and he opened the door, sliding door, no hinges. And he brought tea to the guest and to Gyokujin. And then afterwards, Gyokujin scolded him quite strongly.

[91:48]

Why did you open that door? The guest was right there. So the next time a guest was there, He opened the other door. And Gyokuchin said, why did you open that door? The guest was right there. because he was expected to know where the guest was sitting by the feel of the space, even though he couldn't see in the room. And that's a tensional attunement, where you begin to have a bodily image of your experience which extends around you. So they expect you to pick these things up through attunement, not through being told.

[92:54]

So Suzuki Roshi told that story, expecting me to pick up something. But I remember when I, in his office, I said to him, And I think Katagiri Roshi was there, too. I don't remember. There were a couple other people there. And I said, Sekiroshi, I just came in the door. And is it correct, I've been watching you, you always come in with that foot. And they both started laughing away and sort of saying, yes, that's true, but we don't, you know. So they don't, there are lots of things, they don't want to tell you because then they shut you out from all kinds of things you pick up by feeling the liquid, viscous space.

[94:22]

And if all of this is the true human body, then the door hinge is the true human body. So you're not just doing some ritual by stepping, you're... you're finding a way to cue yourself to the true human body. So the first thing I notice when people come in the door is, one, do they bow to the Manjushri Buddha that's sitting there? Without being told. And then do they notice that the floor is in tatami shapes? And you don't step on the cracks between the tatami.

[95:31]

You step over the crack. And when you're standing in front of me, Are your ankles a fist apart? And some people's ankles are like this, and they're like this. But you're a column, and your feet should be like that, and there should be a space. So that already starts noks on. Sorry. She wants from the list. What? She wants from the dogs on the list. Oh, okay. Too late. You have to come. I like Tara. She's feisty. Okay. Okay.

[96:40]

But when you start doing this like you're speaking about, It's like, you know, I was a swimmer for a while and I still can swim. I guess you don't unlearn how to swim. But when you go up to the edge of the pool, it's kind of good to have your feet in a certain way and so forth. So there's almost a feeling for a yogic practitioner that you're in a field. It's a kind of liquid. It's like we're in a swimming pool, but it's a spatial pool. Now, the last thing I'd like to use this opportunity to say, and I don't know quite if I can get it across, and I've never said this before, I never said much of the things I say, but I at least tried in the past.

[98:13]

Okay. So if I give you instruction, like bring your attention to the physicality of the inhale and then the physicality of the exhale... Of course you can't do that all the time. Sometimes you're carrying something and somebody calls your attention and you're, you know... You know, it's intermittent. Okay, now. And that's why I say you can do practice in homeopathic, maybe bigger than homeopathic doses, but in homeopathic doses.

[99:19]

If you really do some of these practices with minute... attentional attunement, attention and then really actively attuning yourself. It's almost like you rearrange the molecules and electrons of your life And they spread out, they ripple out. And so maybe I could say, which I didn't have the ability to say when I recognized Suzuki Roshi was teaching attitudes, to reach what I felt when I recognized that.

[100:42]

Und zu erreichen, als ich erkannte, dass er das tat. I would say, as we have act and inact. So wie wir handeln und eintreten in etwas haben. Inact is hard to translate in German, right? So I would say there's attitudes and inattitudes. Attitudes you put yourself in the midst of and let the attitude do you. Like Gerhard's implied, at some point you're not breathing. Breathing is breathing you. So now, if you, and the word in attitude, anyway, I find useful. Okay. Now, If you form a mental image of breathing, of attentional attunement

[102:24]

on each inhale and each exhale. This is what I'm having a hard time trying to say. But if you create that image, now I often say, you create an intention to bring attention to your hailing. And what you concentrate on is the intention, maintaining the intention, and you let the attention take care of itself more. No. And then you don't get into, oh God, I forgot to pay attention to my breath, I'm a bad practitioner. No. But I still maintain the intention. Okay, so you're maintaining the intention.

[103:39]

No. We talked about having a feel for the field of mind. And maybe tomorrow I can give you briefly some other examples. But the intention is mind. Aber die Absicht ist mind. And the attention which is mind, that you're going to bring attention, the attention which is mind and not yet the act of intention, attention. Absicht, die mind ist und noch nicht der Akt der Aufmerksamkeit. Is a kind of... lifing of its own or being of its own.

[104:45]

So if you're holding a mental image, you generate a mental image of breathing attentional hails. That attentional field continues whether you pay attention, concentrate in your breath or not. So now you're living in a field, a mental, mental, a mind, if I say mind field, it sounds like, you know, there's going to be an explosion.

[105:46]

Then there might be. Okay. So every time you do pay attention to your hails, It reinforces the intentional mind-form body. And even if you don't always notice each hail, which is almost impossible, The intentional body is noticing, is practicing it.

[106:50]

Now, I won't make that any clearer than I... It's already... I don't know if it's clear in any way, but I won't try to make it any clearer. But I will say that... This means that the body is a form of mind. The body is a form of mind. It's a physical body, but more fundamentally it's a form of mind. And now we're closer again to what's meant by mind-to-mind transmission. And we're close to what's meant by the three bodies of Buddha.

[108:00]

Sambhogakaya, Dharmakaya and Nirmanakaya. Okay. It's the best I can do. So it makes Zen easy. You all have to stay for another 10 years. Yeah. All you have to do is eat. All you have to do is do it regularly. Okay. So I think that even though we're half an hour early for dinner, it's okay to stop now. Yeah. And tomorrow, if... creeps this petty pace tomorrow and tomorrow.

[109:14]

If any of you have some comments on, was this useful to you, this ramble and riff? Because when I start something like this, which I've never spoken about before, it starts a process of trying to find out a way to make it clear. And it started from you stepping in doors next to the hinge. And how much depth there is, an extension there is in such a simple practice. Okay. Thank you for translating.

[110:15]

You're welcome.

[110:17]

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