We just recited a verse. Did you hear it? No? Yes. You did hear it, okay. I did too. An unsurpassed, penetrating and perfect Dharma. It sounds like a a celebration, a praise of the Dharma. And we also said that unsurpassed, penetrating and perfect Dharma is rarely met with. Having it to see and listen to, to remember and accept, I vow to taste the truth of the Tathagata's words. It's the truth of the Tathagata's Dharma.

[01:03]

When people gather to celebrate the Dharma, it is indeed a great and auspicious occasion. So we ring the great Dharma bell. Did you hear it? And our bell ringer, who has not been here for eons, came and rang the bell. Rang the bell, the Dharma bell, to tell everybody how wonderful to gather and listen to the Dharma. It's a time to beat the Dharma drum. It's a time to raise the Dharma flag.

[02:09]

It's a time to listen. Now, my words are proposed as the true Dharma. But while I'm talking, if you're listening while I'm talking, and while I'm silent, if you listen, you might hear the true Dharma, which many of us sincerely aspire to hear. Attendant, you may come up closer if you like. Thank you for beating the Dharma drum. Boom, boom, boom, boom. Boom, boom, boom, boom.

[03:12]

Whenever people gather with the sincere and wholehearted wish to hear the truth, it is an auspicious occasion. To hear the truth, which when we hear it, we will attain it, and we will be able to transmit it. And today is a noteworthy occasion because, as you know, most of you, it has been more than two and a half years since people were able to come into this room from over the mountain and through the woods. So, congratulations on being able to enter the room and listen to the Dharma with, listen for, and with the residential community.

[04:22]

During this recent times, we've been in a training period here at this temple. We're in a practice period which is about eight weeks long, and we're in the middle of it now. And the topic of the practice period is the joyful practice of bodhisattva, great compassion. I think we also are considering other kinds of compassion, along with great compassion. But many people have not heard about great compassion, have not yet aspired to

[05:37]

and realize it. So we're bringing up the teaching of great compassion during this period of practice. Congratulations, Grace. You've made it. Thank you, Audrey. So, I propose to you that that our life, our human life, embraces a egocentric consciousness that normally human beings are given with their human life, an egocentric consciousness. human beings almost all have egocentric consciousness.

[06:46]

And in this consciousness, things are appearing deceptively. And in this consciousness, there is... Well, I should say, in this consciousness, before... with great compassion and wisdom, that consciousness, that egocentric consciousness, is more or less painful. It's the realm where we try to control ourselves and others. It's the realm where we try to get things, or we think there's something to get. It's the realm that Buddhas talk to and send teachings so that that consciousness can be liberated.

[07:49]

It's a part of our life, is that there seems to be a self. Our life is given the appearance of a self, and along with that appearance of self, we receive affliction. Self, the self in our self and inner consciousness comes with affliction. This is part of what our life embraces, and this deluded, self-centered consciousness, which we all were born with, is given to us. It's a realm, it's a realm or the realm of human action, human agency, where it appears that we do things by ourself. which is another delusion.

[08:55]

We don't do things by ourselves. We do things by everybody. But it looks like I did it. If something good happens, and we think I did it, we say, I did it! And if somebody else did it, we say, no, they didn't. I did it. If something bad happens, we say... It's a very clever deluded space, very sneaky, confused, disorienting, and painful. We are given that mind. But that's not all human life. Human life is also beyond human agency. Human life is also unboundedness, vast faith, and great compassion.

[10:00]

Human life is also great compassion. Human life is partly self-centered consciousness, and it's also otherwise And otherwise is the way galaxies work and are formed, and the way babies are born, the way things actually happen is beyond human agency, even though it includes human agency. And also part of what's beyond human agency is great compassion. It's beyond human agency, but it's never separate from it. Our life is dualistic, self-centered consciousness, intimately relating with great beyond human agency.

[11:04]

For example, one kind of human agency is discriminating things, and intellectually knowing them, and seeing them, and hearing them. and touching them, and thinking about them. This human agency does not reach great compassion, even when we think it does. However, all that human agency, all those thoughts about great compassion, are never separate from it. So within human agency, I am talking with you about great compassion, which is beyond and free of my talk. My talk is a human agency attempt to relate to what is beyond my human agency, to develop a relationship that realizes that my human agency and your human agency are also intimately related.

[12:25]

And the way all of our human agencies The way all of our deluded consciousnesses are intimately related is great compassion. The way we're all relating to each other intimately, that is liberating. That liberates us from our egocentric consciousness without getting rid of it. So in egocentric consciousness, a lot of people have noticed the afflictions around the self. A lot of people have noticed that the self is a focal point of misery and tension, etc. And so the thought arises in this afflicted surrounding the self, I'm sick of myself. I want to get rid of myself.

[13:26]

So people try to get rid of the self in hopes that they will also become free of the afflictions that embrace it constantly. That's not going to be helpful. Now, if we practice compassion with this affliction, and this compassion is practiced wholeheartedly, we will realize our intimacy with great compassion. In our human realm, we can try to be kind, for example, to our suffering. And we can try to be kind to the way other people's suffering appears human consciousness. We can practice kindness towards all the misery. That begins and promotes a relationship with the actuality of our life.

[14:39]

The actuality of our life is great compassion. Great compassion is the truth of our life, which Buddhas see and their seeing of it is inseparable from great compassion. And then there's other ways to, in addition to bringing tender care to all suffered beings that we can see, which means doing that in the realm of human agency, to make more and more our human agency acts of kindness to all beings. All beings means all the humans that are appearing to us, all the animals that are appearing to us, all the plants that are appearing to us, the earth, the water, air,

[15:49]

the mountains, to extend tender care to all beings, which is a learning process. Sometimes, in the realm of human activity, we are resisting extending tender care to some beings who appear to be humans, animals, or otherwise. We also sometimes have tender care to our own pain, and also to extend tender care to worrying that we're not doing enough to help people. But the worry about being helpful enough, or the worry about being too helpful, or the worry that other people are being helpful to somebody other than us, are beings who are calling for compassion.

[16:55]

All beings that appear in consciousness are calling for compassion. Even though they don't sound like they're saying, please listen to me with ears of compassion. They don't sound like they're saying that. They may sound like they're saying, I'm a bad person. I'm worthless. You're a bad person. So you're a bad person is really saying, please listen to my suffering. When I say the words, I'm a bad person or you're a bad person, when I say I'm evil or you're evil, those are beings that are calling for compassion. And we are encouraged by great compassion to extend compassion to those beings, all those beings, in the realm, agency.

[18:02]

Now, we're also encouraged if someone calls to us for compassion, which means if something happens, which is calling for compassion, which is everything, we don't understand that, and we miss the opportunity to be kind and tender and respectful to this phenomena. If we miss the opportunity and we wish to practice compassion towards all things, then we have come up short and we've expired you. So, once again, if you wish to realize great compassion, which liberates all beings, then do you also wish to extend kindness and compassion to all beings, which means to everything? Do you wish for that? Do you aspire to that?

[19:13]

Do you aspire to learn to do that? even though right now there may be some people who you're somewhat resistant to extending loving, wholehearted, tender care. Now, if you discover that resistance, then we have another compassion, which is be kind to your resistance to practicing compassion. And acknowledge it. This is particularly for people who aspire to learn to be compassionate to everyone. Now, if such people resist what they aspire to, then it is encouraged for them to acknowledge, I am resisting what I aspire to. I am resisting doing the most important thing in my life. What a funny person.

[20:21]

And I regret resisting what I most aspire to, which is to be compassionate to all and every being, appearing to me outwardly and appearing to me inwardly. I also wish to be kind inward and outwardly separate. That's also painful. I aspire to be compassionate to every moment of experience. we have a chant we do, which is invoking great compassion. Part of the chant is, moment by moment by moment, day and night, recall great compassion. And again, oops, I forgot to recall it. I wasn't regarding what was happening with eyes of compassion.

[21:25]

I acknowledge that and I'm sorry. This is another way to be tender with resistance to tenderness. And some of us may have experienced in the past that we want to be tender with people and respect them. and honor them, and protect them, and live for their welfare, we sometimes get distracted. That's not the end of the world. That's just another opportunity. Extend tender care to our forgetfulness. And then another way, which we're working on during this practice period, to develop a relationship with... What's it called? Great compassion? Another way is to remember it, to pay homage to it.

[22:32]

In a sense, again, ringing the bell pays homage to it. Being a drum pays homage to it. Before this talk, I bowed to pay homage to great compassion. This relationship of paying homage to this thing, which is beyond human agency, promotes realization of intimacy, which is already the reality of our life. We are already intimate with great compassion. We're already intimate with it. But unless we practice, we don't realize that we're intimate. Just like in the human realm, you're already intimate with all other beings, but if we don't respect them, we don't realize the intimacy. If we don't honor them and cherish them,

[23:35]

If we don't, even though we're intimate with everyone, we don't realize it. And not only do we not realize it, but it's painful not to realize reality. We are intimate, and to the extent that we don't realize it, we suffer. We are intimate. That is great compassion. Our intimacy is what liberates us. At the end of this event this morning, we will chant, beings are numberless. Suffering is numberless. Beings who are calling for compassion are numberless. I vow to save them. We say I vow to save them, but the I there, the real I, is great compassion will save them. I'm not going to save them by my human agency. But my human agency, by being open to me, to the way all of our human agencies working together, is saving all beings.

[24:49]

Now, the way, if you and I take good care of our own suffering, However we do that, quite skillfully, very skillfully, not so skillfully, the way we take care of our... the way we practice compassion with ourself is exactly the way we're practicing compassion with others. So if you take good care of yourself, that is simultaneously taking care of everybody else because of reality. Because in reality, when you take care of yourself, everybody is intimately . And, sorry to say, if I don't take good care of myself, It's a sad situation because everybody's there also not being cared for.

[25:55]

Friday evening someone said to me, how does great compassion speak to us? Is that right? So I thought about that, and now I would say, the way that great compassion speaks to us is the Dharma. The Buddha Dharma that is being given to us moment by moment, that's how great compassion talks to us. When somebody reads the scripture, while they're reading the scripture, the Dharma's coming along with it. That Dharma is the way great compassion is talking to us. Great compassion is talking to us all day long, and the way it talks to us, we call that dharma. And if we are compassionate to everything we can see, we stop resisting compassion.

[27:22]

If we open to compassion by practicing it with everything, practicing compassion with everything opens us to the compassion that's with us all the time. If we open to that, we hear the dharma. We hear what the compassion is saying. It's talking to us all day long, but if we resist compassion, we don't hear it. Anyway, the way it's talking to us is by giving us... And I'm saying to you that the reality... I'm saying that reality is great compassion. I'm saying that too. But my words are not Dharma. But you might hear the Dharma when I say that to you. Reality is great compassion. Really, in the eyes of the people, what they see is everybody's working together in peace and harmony, helping each other.

[28:26]

That's something which is real. That is liberating when realized. When we realize unreality, which we're good at, for example, that we're not helping each other, when we realize that, well, you know how that is. It's miserable. It's misery. However, that's not the end of the story because when we realize We think we realize, we really don't. When we think it's true that we're not helping each other, it's really that we're wrong. You cannot really prove that, except by suffering. We're good at seeing conflict as agreement and not helping each other. But if we are helping each other, we open to the reality that we're always helping each other.

[29:32]

We do not make the intimacy of all beings. We do not make it. It's not made. It is dependently co-arising with all of us every moment. It arises with all of us and ceases with us and arises with us and is always such. And then the person who asked the first question, how does it think to us, also said, I think he said, how do you experience it? And when he said you, I thought, maybe he means, how does my karmic consciousness experience? How does my human consciousness experience great compassion? Well, I would say, my human consciousness, I experience it in a very limited way.

[30:39]

My human consciousness experiences everything in a limited way. It experiences every person I meet in a limited way. So the way I experience it is in a limited way. In other words, I experience it in terms of my own mental constructions of it, which sounds kind of sad. if in my limited realm of understanding great compassion, if I, in my limited way, pay homage to it, make my life of service to it, confess my resistance to being compassionate,

[31:50]

even express my resistance to being intimate with all beings. If I do these practices in my limited realm, I realize that my limited realm, which is a limited version of great compassion, is intimate with great compassion. And that realization of intimacy makes it possible in the restricted, constricted, stressed-out new consciousness, it makes it possible in that place to be wholeheartedly kind to all beings in a limited way. And by being wholeheartedly, with no resistance,

[32:55]

kind to every being, we realize intimacy. Even though it's so tiny, it's still the precious opportunity, if we're hearted with it, to realize what is not conscripted, what is not limited. And again, that unlimited compassion supports us Be more and more wholehearted with our limited compassion, and be more and more wholehearted with the tiny little things we do for ourself and other. And to be wholehearted with the tiny little things, or the medium-sized good things you do, or even maybe big good things you do, which are still constricted. that wholehearted kindness includes everybody, and everybody is helped by it.

[33:57]

So I don't know if anybody heard the true Dharma while I was talking. But I pray that it's so. I hope, pray that everybody did. And now, I think, any minute to go make lunch. But before they leave, I'm going to say, does anybody wish to come up here and have a conversation in our limited little world about the vast, unlimited intimacy of all being? Or something else? Something that's, you know, not included in the universe. Do I have to come up? Yes, I do. That's exactly what I want. I'm up and standing right there.

[35:04]

Please. You do not use a microphone. It's been a long time. Salad. Salad. Can you hear Sally? Yeah. All right. I'm glad to be here. It's been a long, long time. Yeah. In this last several years, making everything politically that's been going on, I have not been open to compassion like I once was. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. In other words, I'm not happy about that. I'm happy that you have just revealed that. Compassionately revealed that. It doesn't feel like an act of compassion.

[36:05]

That's why I mentioned it to you. It is. It's on the list of compassion practices. Revealing a lack of compassion is how we develop compassion. It's very hard to do. It's hard to do. That's why I'm telling you that. I'm telling you, our teacher, Dogen, says, this revealing of your lack of compassion, the revealing of it, in the presence of Buddhas. Buddhas are here with you while you're doing that, okay? Maybe. By the way, where all could Buddhas be but with you? I hope so. Huh? I hope so. Yeah. Buddhists don't have any other business than being with you. They're not, like, away from you. They're with you. So when you acknowledge a lack of compassion, which you did in the presence of Buddhists, that is the pure and simple color of true practice.

[37:11]

That is the true mind of faith and the true body of faith. And then you get to say, it doesn't feel like it. Fine, you can say it over and over, but then after you say it, it doesn't feel like it. The next time you're not compassionate, for you to notice it and reveal it. And also, it doesn't feel good to not be open, right? It feels awful. Yeah. I acknowledge the compassion, and I feel awful. This is the pure and simple color of true practice. You're doing it, and you get to say, it doesn't feel like it. But it certainly feels, it's not like fun and funville. It's not an amusement park. It is hard work, but it is Buddha work. Thank you. And she, I think, she's just done this. She's shown us, here's a person who I think wants to be compassionate.

[38:17]

Is that right? Yes. But she noticed that sometimes she's not. So... Even while she's not being compassionate in her own constricted mind, great compassion is there with her, and great compassion helps her notice that wasn't very compassionate. And I feel awful. Great compassion. Do be aware and feel awful. And then it helps you confess it and say you feel awful. And then it supports you to continue to try this really hard work of being compassionate. And it continues to support you to notice when you're not, and feel terrible, and admit you're feeling terrible, and try again. Great Compassion is supporting you to do this hard work. Thank you, Sally. You're speaking for innumerable beings when you do that, by the way. Anything else?

[39:18]

Ramsey, please come up. Brave boy and now brave booty softball, Ramsey. Hello. Hello. Earlier this week you said something about relaxing with the great big intention of saving all beings. And in this talk that kind of not relaxing was coming up again with this idea of becoming compassionate with all beings, intimate with all beings. And so I was wondering if you could talk a little bit more about how to relax with these intentions. I could hear Sally, but I'm having trouble hearing you. Maybe come closer and use the microphone. How is this? Huh? How is this? It's good. Okay. Earlier in the week you were talking about relaxing with the intention to save all beings because of this huge intention, so you need to be able to relax with it.

[40:34]

And during your talk some of that not relaxing was coming up with this idea of doing . And so I was wondering if you could talk a little bit more about how to relax with it. Yeah. Something great comes up and you feel some tension coming. Okay. So, I think we have to take care of the tension in order to relax. And it's not like, oh darn, I wanted to open to great compassion, but now I have this yucky tension. Give yourself wholeheartedly to be kind, tension, and resistance. The tension isn't quite as awesome as great compassion, right? You're pretty familiar with tension, right? But great compassion, whoa, what is that?

[41:37]

And then we tense up. If I met great compassion, what would happen to me? But tension is not that fun, but I know it pretty well. Okay, now, in your little world, bring your best, most wholehearted, tender care to the tension. And the tension feels well cared for. It will say, okay, Ramsey, you can relax now. And you'll be able to. But if we don't take care of the tension, we're not going to relax. Or even if we don't know we're tense, when we hear about relaxation, we tense up. We don't feel worthy. We don't feel worthy to relax in the world of suffering. Okay, if you don't feel worthy, then bring tender care to not feeling worthy. And when the not feeling worthy feels well cared for, it'll say, okay, you can relax.

[42:40]

And not just relax just for relaxation's sake, but relax in order to do this wonderful work of relaxing with all suffering beings so you can play with them. Suffering beings need somebody to come and teach them how to play in the midst of suffering. Suffering. Right? And if you can relax with it, then you can play with it. And you can teach other people, you can show them how to relax and play. Bodhisattvas are here to relax with the suffering and play with it. How to relax and play. Once you start playing together with the suffering, in the suffering, then we can be creative with it. together, which is the way we are. We're developing intimacy. We're getting ready for the big intimacy, great compassion.

[43:44]

And then, when we can be creative, we'll understand it. We'll understand that it's exactly what we're doing. It's not the slightest bit different from what we're doing. But before we can relax, we may need to get permission from our body and mind, which is tense and concerned that it's not okay to relax because it's a bad situation. We don't try to push that reservation away. We give it what it wants. It wants to be heard and honored and loved kindly. Does that seem reasonable? You might be able to do that? Okay, I'm going to try. Yeah, thank you. That's hard work too, but it's working with something that you can actually give yourself to. Anything else this morning? We have some questions from chat online.

[44:51]

This is for Pamela, and it also kind of encompasses a question that Mark offered as well. Can you give a real-life example of dealing with a difficult person? Could you hold the microphone a little farther away? Yeah. So the example is dealing with a difficult person? So it says, do you have a real-life example of dealing with a difficult person? Resistance to giving compassion. How did you actually overcome that resistance? An example from real-life these of how we overcome this when someone is harmful to us repeatedly. Okay. Somebody appears, for example, and there seems to be another person, right? And they seem to be being mean to me. Yeah.

[45:53]

They don't seem to be compassionate towards me. And I'm uncomfortable. Is that the... Yes. Has that ever happened to anybody? So somebody... So, the practice that I'm suggesting is... When you feel that somebody's not being kind to you, and if by any chance when they're not being kind to you, you feel pain, you feel tension, you feel afraid, if by any chance that happens when they're being mean to you, then the thing to do is to take care of your pain. That's the first thing. If you try to be nice to the person, whoever it is, Over a year of pain, of the way they're relating to you, that will not be helpful to them, yourself, or all beings. But if you take care of yourself, and one way to take care of yourself, you might say, could you excuse me, I need a little break, and I'll take a walk or whatever.

[46:59]

We need to address the pain we feel with people who we find difficult. Then, and that's compassion, taking care of our pain with difficult people is part of compassion. That will help us open to the reality that this person's asking for compassion. This person is calling for tender care. But if I skip over giving myself tender care when somebody's giving me a hard time, I'm not going to be able to give them tender care. It's going to be phony. fake tender care. It's just a combination of skipping over, taking care of what's being asked. The question was, how did you arrive at great compassion? That was part of the question. I arrived at that by doing that.

[48:01]

By noticing that rather than take care of myself when somebody hurts me, I should fix that person. Fix them. Get rid of them. Teach them a lesson. Etc. Get the picture? And I saw that is no good. That's not what I came to practice Zen for. How long did that take? It's an ongoing process. But I do see when I don't take care of myself, when I'm hurt, and then I try to deal with somebody else, skipping over, taking care of myself, I do see that what I do is not good for them or me. I can't see straight if I don't find myself. So then I'm trying to grow up with

[49:03]

either how to help them, having skipped over helping myself, or how to punish them, having skipped over helping myself. And then, I just want to add that by helping yourself, you're helping... Exactly. I'm helping at that moment. Plus, I also prepare myself to help in the next moment. But right before I do anything, sort of say anything or gesture anything or even think anything about the other person. If my human actions are caring for the hurt one here, then that helps the other person immediately. That protects the other person immediately. So coming back to what Sally said, when somebody hurts me and I have trouble being compassionate to them, then I need to take care of my hurt. Now, if they hurt me and I'm compassionate to them, I'm already... Sometimes people hurt me and I do not... I immediately take care of the pain and I'm not hurt by it.

[50:18]

You know? It helps them, for them to see how I wasn't hurt because of the way I received it with compassion. How about a real-life example? A real-life example? That was part of the question. A real-life example. Paul, do you want a real-life example of failure? No, of success. Okay, so a real-life example of success. A real-life example of success would be... raging at me, and I see the rage, and I feel the pain, and I really take care of the pain, and then I see they love me. They're doing that to help me, but I have to take care of my pain at their rage first, and their rage is not pleasant.

[51:29]

But by taking care of it, accepting that this person is enraged with me, I see, oh, I see it. The failure is, like a real life example of failure is, a friend of mine, when I was a kid, was drunk and he was, what's the word, disrespectful of a woman in a parking lot. disrespectful, you know, the way he was talking to her. And her husband came over and he was enraged at my friend and I didn't want him to hurt my friend, and I wanted to help him and my friend not get hurt. So I tried to explain to him, tried to help both of them by explaining to him, my friend was drunk and doesn't know what he's doing, so please give him a break.

[52:31]

And the guy turned on me. He wasn't grateful for me trying to help him. And I really felt offended. And it was very painful because I was trying to help them, right? I'm the good guy. And he did not act like he appreciated what I was offering. And I did not take care of the pain I felt of being disrespected and unappreciated. And it wasn't helpful. That's a failure that comes to my mind. But sometimes people do something which is a little bit painful and easy to take care of. I just mentioned the other day, I was in a class here at Green Gulch, and somebody said that he felt like he had to tell me in the class that before the class he was having dinner down in the dining room.

[53:36]

below the classroom, and he said to me at the table that I was a crappy teacher. Nobody laughed that time. But I laughed. It was a little bit painful, but I just saw how funny that was. I took care of myself, and it was a joyful experience. And not only that, but I was so happy that I laughed. And it wasn't a sarcastic laugh. It was like, it's funny. And everybody could see it's funny, including me. How about the bad guy? You meant, how about him saying that I was crappy? How did it take to help him? What was your experience? How did he react? Well, then he said... I don't remember if he was also enjoying how funny it was, but then he said... Isn't that what we're talking about?

[54:39]

Isn't that what we're talking about? Helping them while we help ourselves? Right after that he said, after he said, you're a crappy teacher, and everybody laughed, including me. It wasn't just other people that laughed at me. Other people thought it was funny that he said that. But I could join in the fun. It was just funny. No problem. He can say that. So then he said, but I also said, you're a great student. It was wonderful. And a little bit, you know, a little bit of pain, maybe, that somebody's saying that, but really mostly it's funny. And, yeah, thank you. So a way is... Come closer, please. Pardon? Would you come closer, please? A way to handle this is apparent to me to take care of ourselves is to take a walk, to think things are fine.

[55:47]

Any other options? or thoughts along those lines. Because we're all so unique about handling our own pain. Interpersonally or otherwise, right? Like the pain of having a headache, which is quite a hard one sometimes. The pain of being crippled. The pain of being limited. And the pain of being insulted. Of being what? Of being insulted. Some pains are just from our hardship of life, and some pains are from sentient beings kind of being cruel to us in a way that we can't see that they're really saying, would you help me?

[56:53]

And even if they say, would you help me, maybe we have some resentment, or we don't like the way they act, and we resist, which is another pain. So, if it's a pain that seems to be just given to me by somebody else, then I start with welcoming it. And if I I welcome it if I say to myself, welcome, or I think welcome, and that's not wholehearted. I confess it wasn't wholehearted. I'm sorry. And I try again and again until I can actually welcome this insult, or this distrustful insult, or this lack of generosity, which is insult, etc. All the things that people do which are painful for me, I start welcoming. I try.

[57:55]

And if I can't, then I watch. And if it's not real, I confess it. And confessing that that welcoming wasn't wholehearted, wasn't true, that confession is the pure and simple color of true practice. Then I move on to being gentle and respectful of this insult. Now that I've watched. I start to relate to it with gratitude and with respect. Then I move on to being patient with it, being in the present with it. This is part of being compassionate. And if I can't do those practices, then I confess. I'm not able to honor this person who's hurting me. I'm resisting respecting the person who's hurting me. I know that that's in line with compassion, but I'm resisting. So then I confess, I acknowledge, I'm resisting honoring someone who has insulted me.

[58:59]

Sorry. And if I'm not sorry, I say it again and again until I am sorry. And I will be sorry if I notice that I'm not being welcomed and I don't notice I'm sorry. If I keep doing it over again and over again and do it, I will start to feel sorry. And then, okay, one, two, three, I welcome it. That time I meant it. Now we're getting into it. Now we're approaching opening to great compassion, which is always there. Pardon? That makes me feel so happy. Just the process. Yeah, just the process. It's a process of compassion with lack of compassion. Yes. Either lack of compassion in others towards me or lack of compassion in me towards others or lack of compassion in me towards me. But sometimes I don't really resist being compassionate to myself.

[60:04]

I just forget. You know, like something painful happens instead of being compassionate with it I try to push it away. It doesn't want to get pushed away. It wants to be embraced. It's calling, pain. Hey, Reb, embrace me. I'm okay with that, but I forget that that's what I want to do with my pain. And when other people do things that are painful, I sometimes just forget. So sometimes, in some ways, and that's the kind of resistance, okay, fine. But sometimes I just forget and sometimes I actually resist. I can see I'm resisting. Forgetting is slightly less serious than resisting. Say that again? Forgetting to be compassionate is slightly less serious ...meanful, that actually remembering and resisting, I'm not going to give this person compassion.

[61:07]

Yeah, no, I'm not going to do it in this case. That's worse, more painful. But more painful has the advantage of encouraging us to stop it, to give it up, I should say. Thank you for courageously coming forward and asking your question. Is that all for today? Maybe so. All right, well, now we get to... Yes, did you want to say something? And I can hear you without the mic, but I guess they want you to hold the mic for the people in line. This is a conversation we need to continue. Anyone? I would select and raise it again in the company of these people. I accepted everything you've been saying about how to deal with people who hurt you and so on, so far.

[62:19]

I want to raise another case directly before. If a person is, you might say, being unkind, that's what we've been talking about, but let's say that person, we'd use a stronger word, that person's being abusive, that person is being, yeah, let's use that word. So, I want to mention that in certain cases, instead of thinking, That person, I might think that person is lonely and heavy, but more importantly, I think that person has to stay away from me, and whatever else is important or true, that person needs to stop what they're doing. What do you say about that? Well, you said something that you thought But you didn't mention, I didn't hear you mention, that when you saw that, you felt pain.

[63:28]

Oh, I felt great pain. But you didn't see it. You didn't see that part. That's the key thing that you're missing. I was taking that for granted. Pardon? I was taking it for granted. Taking it for granted is your main mistake. That's your main mistake, is to take it for granted. It doesn't want you to take it for granted. Your pain does not want you for granted. And if you take your pain for granted, you are postponing your compassionate activity. There's some misunderstanding here. I was taking it for granted that you would understand that there was pain, there was great pain. If you take the planet, that's just a mistake. Yeah. But I'm saying to you that when you describe the process, you're not saying that when you see certain things, you feel pain, because that's the key thing that will make you effective in relating to...

[64:39]

if you take good care of the pain you see when you see someone being abusive, at that moment that you take care of your pain, you help the abusive person and the abused person, that full moment. Then, from taking care of your pain, you will be able to talk to the person if they abuse you. And from taking care of your pain, they will be able to listen to you. I understand that. And I don't know what you'll say if you take care of your pain. You might say something like you said. You might pull your finger out. It's possible. But you might say something quite different, like you might say, could I ask you a question? You might say, could you come over to your place? I want to come. If I was the person being abused, I might say, You might, but if you take good care of yourself before you say you'll come here, it might not feel like you're being cruel to the other person.

[65:52]

But if you don't take care of yourself when you see someone being unkind, then when you tell them whatever you want to tell them, it won't be kind. It will be underlined by not taking care of yourself first. Thank you. You're welcome. And yeah. So please make yourself able to help that person and everybody involved. There's a small sutra. In short, it's in the Pali Canon, and it's called the Akravats. You can look it up online, just for the mantra. And it's about the Buddha telling a story of Akravats. I'm told to stop now.

[66:54]

Can I go on a little, just a minute longer? Should I stop? How many people vote for stopping? Tell us the sutra. Huh? Tell us the sutra. Sometimes you don't want to be online. Online, smart, smart. Okay, so the sutra is called Acrobats and Historianism. And the acrobats are princes. The Buddha's talking. The acrobat says to the apprentice, now you take care of me, and then I'll take care of you, and we can do this acrobatic feat. And the apprentice says, excuse me, teacher, I think you've got to turn around. You take care of yourself, I'll take care of myself, and then we can do the feat. You, the acrobat, you get your feet on the ground. You get yourself while stationed. and now I can climb up on top of you.

[67:56]

And Buddha says... The acrobatist, the apprentice is right. You have to take care of yourself before you can help other people. It's that thing about putting your own oxygen mask on before you try to help other people. And when things happen, get over taking care of yourself to make yourself ready to take care of others. But you need to have your feet on the ground and you need to be relaxed and everything in order to be helpful. And we need to learn to do it fast. But that's what we need to learn, is to take care of ourselves. And immediately when we do, we help others. Then following from that, We can do other things with people. We can do other things. Now you do the bodhisattva vows. See how they go down.

[68:57]

We are intentional and equally stand to agree and live with humanity on the best way.

[69:11]

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