Or maybe that's your anchor. No. Yeah, maybe. Reminds me of when I was a kid. I used to fish off the Venice Pier and the Ocean Park Pier. And all day long, I would go to the end, and all day long, I would watch the water ebb and flow, the waves. And that's how I learned meditation. True. Well, lately, there's been a lot of difficult circumstances in our lives, threatening circumstances in our lives, and many people have been talking to me and saying, what should we do?

[01:03]

as if I know. Nevertheless, I have to say something. And so, because I have to say something, I have to respond to this kind of challenge, which is my challenge as well as everyone else's challenge. As a Zen Buddhist practitioner, is there anything that is an obstacle? No. Yes, there is. No. Yes, but the obstacles are our practice. Difficulties are our practice.

[02:05]

because life is difficult. So, a practice is how we keep our composure, how we maintain our composure in the midst of life, life's difficulties, life's disappointments, And part of our difficulty, can you hear me? Yeah, we could even close the door. Part of our difficulty is not understanding the undulation of life. Samsara means something like the undulation of life. It's a great, I like that word.

[03:08]

undulation, it's like the waves undulate. And we live in a world of waves. We live in a world of highs and lows, great expectations and great disappointments. And one follows the other, like the waves of the ocean. We expect something wonderful. We really want to have something wonderful happen in our lives. And when it starts going up, we think, this is always going to be going up, because we don't want to think that what will happen when it goes down, when we get into the trough. And the power of the trough creates the wave. And when all the conditions are no longer there to keep the wave high, everything goes back into the trough.

[04:20]

So this is our life. We have to understand it and accept it. And how do we accept it? With composure. If we don't have composure, we just get tossed about by the waves. So this is Suzuki Roshi's, not only Suzuki Roshi's teaching, but this is what he taught us. And he taught us through Zazen. Don't be attached to the highs and don't be attached to the lows. Don't be attached to the wonderful feelings that you have and don't be attached to the painful feelings that you have. Come on in. So this is the simple response, but what does it mean? How do we do that?

[05:23]

I have a number of things here that are nice. One is this saying about... These are the three fundamentals of Buddhism. All things are impermanent. You have to understand that. All dharmas are without self. and all things are full of suffering within the bliss of nirvana. That's our big go on. This is how life, our life is described as the dharma. All things are impermanent means that nothing lasts. Everything is in flux. There's only change. momentarily, the dharmas flash into existence and disappear.

[06:53]

There's nothing that lasts. Past, present, and future are all ungraspable. We think that the present is graspable, but the present has already become the past. It's great. If you think that's not so good, that's called suffering. So Buddha said, the only thing I teach is suffering and the meaning of suffering and how to deal with it. So all things are impermanent. Everything comes up dependent on everything else. If we realize that everything comes up dependent on everything else, we realize that what am I is everything else. Everything else is what I am.

[07:59]

So we're cosmic beings. We contain the whole cosmos. It's not that we contain the whole cosmos, the whole cosmos is who we are. But of course, you know, the stars are out there. And so instead of trying to, as Suzuki Roshi said, catch the tail of a comet, which people will pity you for, you just narrow your life down to what's possible for us. And because wherever we are, whatever we're doing contains the whole universe. So we see there's really no birth and death. There's only transformations. If we understand that there's only transformations and actually realize that, we can enjoy our life moment to moment, even though there is no moment to moment.

[09:06]

So the reason is because all dharmas are without self. Because everything is continually changing and transforming, what we consider our self is only our self moment to moment. But our true self is the whole business. This is just fundamental Buddhism. So the third one, All things are full of suffering. Life is, that's the usual stereotype. The third one, life is suffering. That's the heaney-on-the-side. Life is just suffering. Even when it's wonderful, it's still suffering. Because it doesn't last. We can enjoy it, well, as Blake says, catch the joy as it flies. But the Mahayana says all things are full of suffering within the bliss of nirvana.

[10:18]

So we must access nirvana within our suffering. Otherwise we just fall into this and that, into oppositions. called, for lack of a better word, duality. And how do we do that? With composure. Composure is all things are full of suffering within the bliss of nirvana. So, Nirvana is only found within our suffering, within our disposition of difficulty.

[11:22]

So we understand this through Zazen. Zazen is the way Buddha teaches us. We don't have to have anybody saying anything. We just put ourself into Buddha's hands. And experiencing the difficulties and the joys without being attached to either one. If we become attached to either the joy or the difficulty, we fall into suffering. So, how do we maintain our composure within every situation? So, the next one is King Midas, Golden Touch. This is a story which we all know, but I'm gonna, this is the child's version.

[12:34]

King Midas and the Golden Touch. Midas maybe, people say, Midas muffler, Midas. I like to use I as E, which most languages do. We have both. Anyway, many years ago, there lived a king named Midas. King Midas had one little daughter whose name was Marigold. King Midas was very, very rich. It was said that he had more gold than any other king in the world, at least from his point of view. One room of his great castle was almost filled with yellow gold pieces. At last, the king grew so fond of his gold that he loved it better than anything else in all the world.

[13:41]

I mean, you've heard that. He even loved it better than his own little daughter, rosy-cheeked Marigold. His one great wish seemed to be for more and more gold. One day, while he was in his golden room counting his golden money, a beautiful Dionysius stood before him. The boy's face shone with a wonderful light, and he had wings on his cap and wings on his feet. In his hand, he carried a strange-looking wand, and the wand also had wings. "'Midas, you are the richest man in the world,' said the fairy." The Dionysius. There is no king who has as much gold as you." "'That may be,' said the king. "'As you see, I have this room full of gold, and boy, do I show it off.

[14:44]

But I should like much more, for gold is the best and most wonderful thing in the world.' "'Are you sure?' asked the fairy. "'I am sure,' answered the king. "'If I should grant you one wish,' said Dionysius, "'would you ask for more gold?' "'If I could have but one wish,' said the king, "'I would ask that everything I touch "'should turn to beautiful yellow gold.' "'Your wish will be granted,' said the fairy. "'At sunrise tomorrow morning, "'your slightest touch will turn everything into gold. "'But I warn you that your gift will not make you happy.'" So this is the lesson. I will take the risk," said the king. The next day, King Midas awoke very early. He was eager to see if the fairy's promise had come true. As soon as the sun arose, he tried the gift by touching the bed lightly with his hand.

[15:47]

The bed turned to gold. He touched the chair and table. Upon the instant, they were turned to gold. The king was wild with joy. He ran around the room touching everything he could see. His magic gift turned all to shiny yellow gold. The king soon felt hungry and went out to eat breakfast. Now a strange thing happened. He raised a glass of clear cold water to drink it became solid gold. Not a drop of water could pass his lips. The bread turned to gold under his fingers. The meat was hard and yellow and shiny. Not a thing could he get to eat. All was gold, gold, gold. His little daughter came running in. Of all the living creatures, she was the dearest to him. He touched her with his lips, and at once the little girl changed into a golden statue. A great fear crept into the king's heart, sweeping all the joy out of his life.

[16:50]

In his grief, he called and called upon Dionysius, who had given him the gift of the golden touch. Oh, Dionysius, he begged, take away this horrible golden gift. Take all my lands, take all my gold, take everything. Only give me back my little daughter. In a moment, the beautiful Dionysius was standing before him. Do you still think that gold is the greatest thing in the world? Asked Dionysius. No, no, cried the king. I hate the very sight of the yellow stuff. Are you sure that you no longer wish to gold and touch?" asked Dionysius. I have learned my lesson, said the king. I no longer think gold the greatest thing in the world. Very well, said the fairy. Oh, Dionysius, take this picture to the spring in the garden and fill it with water. Then sprinkle those things which you have touched and turn to gold. The king took the picture and rushed to the spring. Running back, he first sprinkled the head of his dear little girl. Instantly she became his own darling, married old again, and gave him a kiss.

[17:53]

The king sprinkled the gold food, and to his great joy, it turned back to real bread and real butter. Then he and his little daughter sat down to breakfast. How good the cold water tasted! How eagerly the hungry king ate the bread and butter, the meat, and all the good food. The king hated his golden touch so much that he sprinkled even the chairs and the tables and everything else that the fairest gift had turned to gold." So, our question is, where is Dionysius now? That's the question. When the king no longer thinks that gold is the most wonderful thing in the world. So, transformations are possible, even though miracles do happen. So, don't hold your breath.

[18:57]

Breathe. Just breathe. Keep your attention and keep your mind down here in your hara, where your composure finds its place. Breathe deeply. When you see one atrocity after another, breathe deeply, realizing that all things are passing, and this too will pass. And where do you really abide? We abide in our composure. And where is the root of our composure? We find it in Zazen. If we practice Zazen, we touch the root of our intuition. And that, without

[20:00]

expectations, we find that we can actually stand where we are and not be blown over by anything, even though cruelty and delusion are all around us. If we lose our composure, actually, we become vulnerable and lose everything. You know, the samurai, which we don't particularly admire for their own cruelty, but the only way that they could actually win a battle was to maintain their composure without fear.

[21:06]

As soon as you lose your composure in a battle, you're vulnerable and usually lose. So everything has its, you know, there's only change. we find that the pendulum swings. I've talked about this before many times. The pendulum swings. In the case of humans, human animals, we have a tendency to want to build things.

[22:18]

So we create societies. We create, you know, great, wonderful advancements for what we think are advancements for human beings and the world. And then suddenly the pendulum swings and everything is destroyed. Then the pendulum swings again, and we start building everything up, forgetting all about the destruction, thinking that it's always gonna be this way. And then, boom, the pendulum swings back. That's the way the world works. It's the way the world works. And it's okay to build up, as long as you realize that it will always be torn down. We're born and we die, so to speak. And that's the way the world works.

[23:22]

So what is born is destroyed. The pendulum is now in the downswing of destruction. And it's terrifying, terrifying what's happening in the downswing of destruction. We were in the upswing of completion, and it looked like it was just, we were all hoping that insanity would take over, would continue. But then, boom. And that's hard to take, but it's life, and it's inevitable. You think that there will always, if we really, You know, Sisyphus, the story of Sisyphus, building, rolling the rock up the hill, and then it gets to the top. So, this is why Buddhism appeared in the world.

[24:31]

That's the reason why Buddhism appeared in the world, because of that understanding and that realization. So, Buddhists are not surprised when these things happen, because it's inevitable. It's a dualistic world. Every action has an equal-opposite reaction. It's physics. I don't know anything about physics, but I know that, that every action has an opposite-equal reaction. It's inevitable because of the dualistic nature of our world. So Buddhists are concerned with non-duality. How do you live in a dualistic world understanding the law of non-duality? That's what Buddhist practice is about.

[25:33]

The reconciliation of opposites. So, I've read you this before. This is The Tiger's Cave, talks on the Heart Sutra by Abbot Obora, who was a Buddhist abbot, a Zen abbot in the beginning of the 20th century. He says, Because the worlds stand on illusion, even good is no more than an occasional event caused by associations, and when the associations are bad, the manifestation created by the good entirely disappears.

[26:37]

Relative good and evil are always appearing and disappearing. A citrus says, though merit may be piled up as high as the Himalaya, one flash of anger and it is all consumed. Merits from good deeds, when associations become a little unfavorable, are destroyed with a flaring up of passion. Our life is destruction of what has been built and the building up of what has been destroyed. Underneath building, a destruction, and underneath destruction, building, repeating over and over again the same sort of thing. All worlds of illusory attachment to self are the same. The pitiable human state, this pitiable human state is symbolized by the Buddhist story of Sayeno Kawara. In the ruined temple, apparently there's a—this is a well-known story in Japan.

[27:49]

Everybody knows it. It's about how everything is built up and destroyed, but there seems to be a layout of some kind in this temple. In the ruined temple of Daisenji, there is a representation of Sai no Kawara, of which a good deal remains. There's the dry riverbed of the story, and in the middle stands a great stone figure of the Bodhisattva Jizo. Jizo is the Bodhisattva that escorts dead children or fetuses or whatever to somewhere. Around it have been piled up countless little pagodas. The story is familiar to all Japanese. How those who die in early childhood go to this place and employ themselves in building the pagodas.

[28:54]

They remember their parents in the world and build one for their father and one for their mother, piling up the stones one by one. A demon suddenly rushes in from the side, and whirling an iron pole, smashes down everything they built. The children, terrified, run to the same Jizo and hide themselves for a while in the long sleeves of his compassion. We get the feeling of pointlessness, that it is futile to keep building up the stone towers, only to have them smashed down by the demon. The demon is presently smashing down. If they are always to be destroyed, why build them? But that will not do, for this is Sai Nokowara, the place where the karma associations find fulfillment. When a demon goes off, The crowds of children come out again and build their pagoda towers. Just as they think they have finished, out comes the demon, and all is destroyed.

[30:04]

What was built up is broken down, and then what is broken down is rebuilt. Repeating again and again the same task is the state of Saya no Kawara. It is not our human condition also like this? In the worlds of relative good and evil, raised up on illusory attachment to self, We may do some good, but then when the karma associations are unfavorable, evil passions arise and destroy it all. We rebuild what was destroyed, and what we build is again destroyed. When we think we have completed something, it disappears, and what has disappeared again comes about, so the endless wheel of life revolves. This is the character of the human condition, and in spiritual training it is called the law of circularity. What goes around comes around.

[31:06]

What a thing to happen to such a splendid man. It's like, you know, we think so much of somebody and then suddenly they find something terrible about him. He's an abyssal. What a wonderful thing. to happen to such a splendid man. This is all the shiftings of human nature. From the point of view of spirituality, it is only going round and round in the world of relative good and evil. It is not the profound spirituality. All the worlds of illusory sticking to self are the worlds of birth and death." Where's our optimism? Oh, a lot of hands. Yes? Would our vow of repentance work with what you're saying?

[32:10]

We're constantly failing, but yet we vow to do better and repent. Well, for a human being, That frees us. Repentance is how we obtain our freedom, because it's so easy to get caught by our feelings and emotions. The whole thing about the Buddha Dharma is how we free ourselves from this dualistic world. That's what it's about, actually. So we do something, we try out something because it's interesting once, and then we think, well, maybe I'll try it again. So we try it out again, and we may like it or not like it, but we still are not caught by it.

[33:16]

But then when we do it a third time, that becomes a habit, and we get caught by our habits. So how, when we recognize that we're caught by our habits, which we don't always do, I mean, most of the time, we walk around caught by all kinds of habits, not understanding that that's where we are, until somebody, the fisherman pulls the pole up and we're hooked. So the fisherman of karma, the karmic fisherman pulls, and then we go, ooh, how'd that happen? And then we can't get out of it. So repentance frees us. I mean, it can free us. At least it frees us in recognizing that we're caught and gives us a way out. to turn around.

[34:22]

The sixth ancestor in the Platform Sutra, he says repentance means simply to recognize your transgression and turn around and go the other way. Yeah. The place to stand is in your composure. Composure means to find your place in the world and not get pushed off your place. Is that what you're saying? Meaning? A place to stand between? I think I'm meaning like an attempt to protect the children or the pagodas.

[35:31]

Practice. Protect the children. Oh, protect your children. And the pagodas. Well, you know, as a mother protects her only child, you should Sacrifice your life for that. You should be able to do that. That's what mothers do. I'm not sure if that's what you're talking about. And yet the pendulum swings into tragedy. You know, maintaining composure in that situation means accepting the pain with equanimity. Yeah, accepting, like we have to accept all this pain that's happening in the world at this very moment with equanimity.

[36:41]

If we get pulled around by too much, by our feeling, we can't help not We can't help feeling our feelings. It means feel your feelings, but understand your feelings as well. Weeping is a way to unburden yourself in a way. There's a saying when nothing else will help, weeping is an open gate. But if you get addicted to weeping, then you become a victim of your own feelings. So feel what you feel deeply. Don't stop your feelings, which are very deep, but at the same time, you're here and

[37:49]

not allow yourself also to be a victim of your feelings. To mourn, and then there's an end to mourning, and then go on. Otherwise, we just become victims. So, of our own, making. So, we grieve, but we also grieve with understanding. If we don't have understanding, then we only have our grief. And grief can take a long time, forever.

[38:54]

But in the face of our political situation, which gives us much grief, to not let it overwhelm us, otherwise we can't do anything to turn it around. We become helpless. I appreciate your talk today, and I agree with every point you raised, so thank you for that. There's something kicking around in Washington now where ministers, rabbis, priests will be able to preach from the pulpit. And I'm wondering about the virtue of separation of church and state, and where I feel supported and encouraged by your wisdom and expression today,

[39:57]

whether America needs to hold on to that view or maybe change it. What are your thoughts on that? That's a good question, because I also learned that. And I thought, well, if they can preach from the pulpits, can I? So that's what I'm doing today. Kind of. But what I'm preaching is this dharma, actually. I'm not just saying who you should vote for or, you know, stuff like that, but it's implied. I think I missed something. Did you answer the question, where is the optimism? Where's the optimism? I don't think the question was the optimism, but that's implied.

[40:59]

The question was, what shall we do? Everybody has to find their own way about what to do. If I say, you should do this, then you'll come back at me having failed. You sin! And besides, our practice actually is to find out what to do. That's our koan. Every activity has its own koan. What's the right thing to do fundamentally and what's the right thing to do actually? So when you can put those two together as one, then you have a way to go. When I say actually, meaning, let our intuition inform us.

[42:11]

And then let our reasoning work together with our intuition. And that's how you know what to do. Let your reasoning work together with your intuition, because your intuition comes from a larger place, bigger, big mind. Intuition comes through big mind, and reasoning comes through the brain, smaller mind. And when those two are in sync, it's one thing, and then you have your balance, you have your composure. Thank you, Sophie. I was thinking about the myriad acts of volitional action, swinging the pendulum. And although the pendulum may be swinging towards destruction today, I look at the history that I've experienced in my life

[43:27]

The firing of Douglas MacArthur when he wanted to use the atomic bomb in Korea. The downfall of Joseph McCarthy. The downfall of Richard Nixon. So I see today as Well, you know, the secret is how you ride the wave. It's really how you ride the wave. When the wave goes down, you ride it down without being overwhelmed by it. And when it goes up, you help push it up. But the secret to doing that is we call it driving the wave and riding the wave.

[44:30]

So we're carried by the wave and we also drive the wave. And when we do that seamlessly, we do both at the same time. I don't know how many of you are surfers. But we're surfers in our life. We're all life surfers. So there's no self. There is no other. There is no saving. There is none to be saved. There is only skillful response in composure. I like that. We say it's only dharma. I thought you were going to say it's only dharma is ruling along. When you say there's no self, there's only dharmas rolling along. If you say there's no self, that's only half the picture.

[45:34]

If you say there is a self, that's only half the picture. So the self is not a self, and what is not a self is the self. That's our second koan for today. Yeah. in the face of evil. It means to recognize evil, but maintain your integrity in the face of everything. So how can you maintain your integrity? So that's composure. Maintain what you really, what you can't feel, you can't change in yourself. It's your fundamental integrity. So when you're faced with evil, how do you act?

[46:39]

That's when you really have to know, well, who am I? Even though I'm, there's no self. You know, what are my values? And maintain your values skillfully. then you have a way to act skillfully, even though it may look like you're not maintaining your values. Because if you stick to maintaining your values, you know, there's this wonderful book by Jacques Lusseran, who was the blind leader of the French Resistance during the Second World War. And he describes how being in a concentration camp, he said, those people who are the most proud and most strong, they get eliminated first. The only way you can get through the concentration camp is to be nobody.

[47:48]

As soon as you're somebody, you're finished. So that's interesting. I recommend that book to everybody. The autobiography of Jacques Lusserand, The Gun There Was Light. I talked about it years ago here. But so what does it mean to be nobody? That's another, that was his koan. I just wanted to add to what you're saying about that book. It's one of my most favorite, amazing books. It also talks about how he survived by just being nobody in the sense of giving himself away. Yeah.

[48:59]

Thanks for that, yeah.

[49:01]

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