I have so many little subjects that could become big ones to talk about. I'm having a hard time choosing which one to deal with. When you go to Tassajara for your first practice period, it's very difficult because your life changes so radically. And you feel that you're in a kind of state of deprivation, whether you are aware of it or not. You leave behind all of the props and supports that you have and that you've built around yourself all your life.

[01:08]

And you're just there, left with yourself and your relations to what you're doing to other people. And you get up at 3.40 in the morning and go to the Zen Do. So, it's a very stark life for people in their first practice period. But after you get used to it, it becomes a kind of wonderful way of life. And the more and more I appreciate the simplicity of it, but it's difficult to get to that simplicity. And it's difficult to get to that simplicity in our city life because we feel that we need so much. But Anne is feeling some of that problem of being a first practice period student.

[02:17]

And she said to me, She said, you have such a wonderful sangha and life in Berkeley, why do you come down here? Why do you like it? Then I had to think about that a little bit, and then I realized why I like it is because it's so easy. For me, it's so easy. Everything's right there, day after day, moment after moment. Everybody's doing the same practice. Nobody's going anywhere. If you have a problem, you're stuck with it right there. You may be stuck with it the whole time. But you can't turn on the radio. You can't go to a movie. You can't run away. There it is. No way to deal with it except to directly confront it and just live with what you've got.

[03:20]

I had problems too, but mostly I just, when I go to Tassajara, I just feel joyful all the time. Constantly joyful. It's just like this big release. And so she asked me this question, you know, and I realized it's because it's so easy. And when I come back to Berkeley, it's more difficult. Not that I don't like it just as well. I like it just as well. But it's much more difficult because there's so much more, so much more to take care of. Life is so scattered. If you want to talk to somebody, maybe next week or next month, if something comes up, you grasp for some way to deal with it, and it's gone, or amorphous, you know?

[04:30]

Whereas in Tantsa Hara, everything is very immediate. So, it's easy to get tired out in this kind of practice, for me. And I have to figure out how to actually work with people in a way that really works well. So that's kind of my problem, my koan, how to really work with everybody in a way that really works so that we feel that something's really happening and we all feel connected that way. At Tassajara, One of the subjects that I was talking about was the seven factors of enlightenment, seven enlightenment factors, or seven factors which, when well balanced, generate our light.

[05:47]

I talked about those here before, but there I realized how to relate it to Prajnaparamita. The seven factors of enlightenment are mindfulness, investigating the dharmas, energy or effort, and joy, and ease or settledness or calmness of mind, and concentration and equanimity. These seven factors are what we're always working with. And the second factor, which is investigating the dharmas, is like the psychological aspect of practice. That aspect, I think, is what's coming up very strongly in Buddhist practice at the moment.

[07:03]

Investigating the dharmas means dealing with your psychology, dealing out with relationships and how various feelings and emotions and thoughts come up in our mind, where they come from, how to deal with them, It's psychology. And in Zen practice, Japanese Zen practice, I think the other seven factors are very strong and obvious. Or the other six factors, very strong and obvious. And the psychological factor, although it's there, has a Japanese character to it, a way of studying Japanese character. And I think that we need to develop a way of studying our Western American character through the psychological aspect of Buddhism.

[08:11]

For instance, I don't know if you've ever read the Tiger's Cave. Tiger's Cave is a commentary by Soto Zen Abbott in Japan talking about Prajnaparamita, the Heart Sutra. It's a commentary on the Heart Sutra. But he's always just talking about his life. He talks about the Sutra in the various parts, but what he's really talking about is the stuff that comes up in his life, the dharmas that come up in his life. Like he goes to, he's invited someplace to give some lectures or something like that. So he goes and then he's gone for a month or so and when he comes back he expects that someone in the household will meet him at the train station. And he's feeling wonderful riding on the train, very content, you know, thinking about his success. successful lecturers and so forth.

[09:17]

And he's riding home on the train and he gets off on the platform and there's no one there to meet him. And here he's been talking about all this wonderful stuff, you know, Buddhist enlightenment and so forth. But the first thing that happens is, where are they? Where is somebody? What's going on? And in spite of himself, something comes up. And he's agitated. He says, well, maybe something came up and they're late or something. So he takes a taxi or something, goes to the house. And he walks in the house, he thinks, well, at least maybe they'll have some tea ready for me. No smell of tea or anything. And he says, anybody home? no answer and then starts really getting angry. Is anybody home?

[10:19]

He has to start raising his voice. All this stuff is in dharmas. This is the stuff of investigating the dharmas, knowing what's going on in your mind and your feelings and your emotions. Then someone comes out running out of the backyard and says, oh, your reverence. And there was something that happened and everybody had to leave because there was an emergency. She said, there was this big emergency. And then she calms him down and all of this stuff calms down. He feels much better again. And she said, please wait a few minutes, we'll have some tea or something like that. So he went through this big trip. And this is the kind of stuff that's happening to us all the time. What's going on in our minds and our emotions and our feelings all the time?

[11:27]

What makes something come up as rage or anger or lust or jealousy or ill will? to really look at our feelings all the time. Whenever something comes up, why is this coming up? To just notice that, to just pay attention, and to take a step back, is called renunciation. Life, Buddhist life, is life of renunciation. It's different. When we say renunciation, it doesn't mean to go into a cloister for the rest of your life. That's Christian, we get that connotation. But in Buddhism, renunciation means always giving up ego. Letting go of ego. That's life of renunciation in Buddhism.

[12:30]

And giving up ego means when something comes up, when ego arises, to notice that. Let it go. To let go of what's not necessary. And it's just like sitting Zazen. When we sit Zazen, we're learning how to let go of what's not necessary. Learning how to give up ego. That's what Zazen is about. Merging with our original face. And in our daily life, It's learning or practicing to return to our original face. But many different factors. And when we sit in Zazen, it's pretty simple, pretty easy. It's like me going to Tassajara. There's this stuff to deal with, but it's right there, and you know you're dealing with it.

[13:37]

Because that's what you're supposed to be doing. As soon as you walk into Zen Do, your life changes. It's a very special situation, even though it's not special at all. But it's a special situation. And you step in, and you bow to the cushion, and you sit down, and that changes your life. You know that there's this one thing to take care of. And whatever comes up, you're dealing with that. But it's clear. But when you walk outside, it's not clear because we're always getting caught, we get so caught up in life, in the extra aspects of life that we think are the necessary aspects that it's too difficult to look at what's coming up. We don't even, it's so deeply, we get so caught up in it that we think that everything that comes up is, that all of our desire is necessary.

[14:42]

So I think that the reason that the psychological aspect of Buddhism is becoming so dominant with many teachers and in many practice places is because it's necessary. We really need to focus on that aspect. sometimes the psychological aspect of practice is very prominent in certain sanghas. And my particular teaching was practice of arousing strong spirit. That's what Suzuki Roshi taught us. that was his influence, was the arousing of strong Zen spirit as the main factor.

[16:10]

So we, in our practice, we tend to emphasize participation, working, sitting, whatever stimulates that strength and that devotion. Actually, Zen practice is very devotional, but it's not devotional to a deity. It's devotional to life. So sitting, you know, for seven days, sitting in zazen for seven days is devotional practice. It's deep devotion. And when deep devotion creates a result, even though you don't look for a result, it creates a result.

[17:16]

When you invite something, then you open yourself to whatever it is that you're inviting. So that's Zen spirit and devotional practice. When we offer incense and chant the Heart Sutra in service, we offer incense. Offering incense is usually to invite some deity or spirit into the present, to manifest that in the present. So when we offer incense, we're inviting prajnaparamita into our practice. But prajnaparamita doesn't come from out there into our practice. Even though we invite prajnaparamita, it's coming from out of us into the space. but we make this outward manifestation, this outward invitation.

[18:26]

But actually, everything comes out from our own self. So, that's always been the foundation of our practice. And also, Suzuki Roshi practiced investigating the dharmas in such a very subtle, easy way that he didn't have to really talk about it. He just manifested it in his presence. So our example is to manifest it in our actions, not to talk about it so much. But other schools of Buddhism talk about it, and I think that we need to do that. We need to study that second factor investigating the dharmas and it's a phase, it's not a phase, but it's not a fad, not a phase in the sense of a fad, but it's a phase that we need to investigate and

[19:43]

really pay attention to. So that because, as lay people, our lines are not in the monastery. We're not just practicing together and rubbing shoulders. You know, in the monastery, the way you practice is all the rough gems are put into the mixer. And then they go round and round. And as they go round and round, rubbing against each other, the rough edges wear down and they come out as polished stones. Did you ever notice that you can take a huge load of just ordinary rocks that look like just lumps of dirt and you throw them in a cement mixer and turn on the cement mixer and overnight you just let it go and they just keep falling and falling and in the morning you have a whole pile of beautiful gems Let's try it sometime.

[20:46]

But that's our practice. In a place where everyone's together for a certain amount of time, practicing like that, you don't need to talk so much. You just do. And then it comes up and there's a lot of just body language that works. But in a situation where people are scattered and they don't come together, in the same way so regularly, they're not in that tight situation. You need to study something. You need to bring it out in a different way. And I think that you need to find out how to bring it out in a way that makes it work. So, consciously talking about and studying how the psychology of How are feelings and emotions and thoughts work?

[21:49]

Why certain feelings come up in us instead of other feelings? Why when we go to a meeting with other people, anger comes up instead of patience? So that's how you study yourself, all the time. When something comes up in you, instead of just, you know, say anger or frustration, instead of just expressing, you know, you can express, but when it comes up and you see that what's happening, you can take a step back and say, why is this happening? Instead of practicing some calmness of mind, which is another factor of enlightenment, or instead of practicing equanimity, you allow this thing to take you over. So when it comes up, if you have been practicing equanimity or calmness, then you can step back into that and feel at home there.

[23:03]

Then you can look at the anger. Is this the right thing to express in the situation? You can make some decision. You can't make a decision about how to feel. Feelings come up. But also, it's important to see why there's maybe so much pressure or so much energy behind a certain feeling. So, Buddha's practice is always to take a step back Not to ignore feelings, or the strength of it, but to make a response from a considered position, rather than a reaction from a very shaken position.

[24:06]

We always get in trouble when we do that. Sometimes it's necessary to just express yourself, of course. But sometimes we need to make an effect or to impress because we're not getting through. But if we're not getting through, why aren't we getting through? Why do people not want to listen to us? Why would somebody not want to take you seriously if you have something to say? So there are reasons for all this, but sometimes we either can't see the reasons or we don't want to see the reasons why something isn't working for us. Even though people are telling us all the time why something isn't working. And usually they are. As a matter of fact, the more somebody tells us why something isn't working, the more we don't know why that is.

[25:10]

Usually. So being able to pay attention. If somebody says to you, you know, this isn't working. You're not doing that right. Renunciation would be to say, oh, well, please tell me. Thank you very much. What am I doing? How can I do it differently? But usually we say, what do you mean I'm not doing it right? How do you know? inside, and if not expressly said that way, something, some dog is growling inside. Our watchdog, our protector. We have some kind of big protector inside that doesn't let things get to us. Create our own guardians. So openness and us

[26:16]

Resuming our innocent mind, moment after moment, is what Buddhist practice is about. The innocent mind is Prajnaparamita. If you want to study Prajnaparamita, just return to your innocent mind. But it's very hard, very hard to take all the guard and say, okay you guys, step aside and I'll take the blame. There's a koan about that, exposed. I think it's a commentary on a koan. It's wonderful. Exposed. It's not that those emotions will never come up, even if you're enlightened.

[27:39]

It's not that emotions will not come up, anger will come up, you know, lust will come up, jealousy will come up, everything will come up. I remember Suzuki Roshi talking about, he said, you think that when you're enlightened that nothing will come up, after you get enlightened, but you think that When you pass an ice cream store, you want tasty ice cream. You get a craving for ice cream. And you think that after you're enlightened, when you pass the ice cream store, you won't get a craving for ice cream. But it's all the same. It's just that when you pass the ice cream store, you know, I am now having a craving for ice cream. What shall I do about it? How shall I respond? So we always can make a choice.

[28:51]

Choice is always ours. But when we give away our choice to our feelings and our emotions then our emotions and our feelings capture us. So we bind ourself with our thoughts and our feelings and our emotions. And the only person that can unlock it is ourself. So we have the key to unlock, but we throw it away. Mary, look around for it. What is it? My psychiatrist will tell me. Maybe if I have three psychiatrists. So renunciation is the fact that we're always working with it.

[29:53]

Not that it doesn't come up. Not that it doesn't hurt. Not that we don't make mistakes. Not that we don't get caught. But that we always know and we always... It's just like zazen. You keep the spirit that keeps you working with it. Keeping the spirit that always makes you innocent. That allows that prajna nature to appear moment after moment. Sometimes it's called the hazy cloud of enlightenment, hazy moon of enlightenment. The moon is always there. Your nature is always there. Innocence is always there, but it's a stormy sky. Sometimes it shines through. But no matter how stormy it is, the moon is still there.

[31:00]

No matter how much rain is coming down, it's still there. It's good. Anyway, that's the practice of yours truly. You're welcome to practice with me. And let's be friends in the Dharma. Thank you.

[31:59]

@Text_v004
@Score_JJ