Yeah, of course, to some extent it's nice to get healed. But it's also nice to leave the wound open sometimes. But you don't always have to live in the wound. Now, in Buddhism and in practice you learn to Feel, allow yourself, one of the key skills in meditation practice is to allow yourself to feel something without having to express it or repress it. And the more you come to the ability to feel something without having to express it, actually you can feel much more deeply. because we're usually afraid of what might happen if we express extreme emotions.

[01:15]

But if you learn to allow very deep emotions come up, while you're in the midst of a very stable state of mind. So my own experience is when someone dies that's close to you. At least for me, your grief can be much deeper. At the same time as you're quite stable. It's just the absolute acceptance of the situation without any denial of the situation. Which allows the grief to be most complete. So I think the dynamic of how mind, feelings, etc.

[02:28]

is understood in Buddhism is a little different than the West. So that the absolute acceptance of what's there also opens you up to your feelings. And one of the things when you don't think so much, identify with your thinking so much, You feel yourself full of the wind of emotions, of something, I don't know. I'm at a loss for words. It's a kind of wind or movement that sometimes looks, you could call an emotion. And the more you find the roots of all your emotions in character,

[03:31]

Instead of trying to get rid of your hatred and get rid of your anger, you accept your hatred and anger. And try to find the roots of it in caring. Often anger, rage, is rooted in outrage. What's the difference between rage and outrage? Rage is just to be angry. Outrage is to be by how human beings treat each other. Something like that. We need outrage.

[04:50]

There's no compassion without outrage. But we don't need rage. Well, it's okay, but It's very debilitating. It's hard on the system. It makes us sick. But outrage makes us healthy. You say outrageous. That's the same? That's something different, isn't it? Outrageous, no. That means if I had a a pink hat on with a yellow feather. That's outrageous. Yeah. That's nothing to do with outrage. Nothing to do with outrage. Entrüstung.

[05:53]

Entrüstung. Ja, vielleicht. Ja. Entrüstung. In a simple sense, if I may say something personal about your business situation. Somebody came in and robbed her store. And took an entire collection of children's clothes that was very valuable. And then the insurance company refused to pay for it. And the insurance company claimed they didn't have any responsibility and she at the door etc. The insurance company owns the building. Isn't that right? They own the building. So how could they claim not to be responsible for the door and the lock because they own the building?

[06:57]

And then they... said, well, we didn't know you, we thought you sold toys. But they're the landlord, they know what she sells. So this made her quite angry. But because she had more outrage than rage, she said, She had the chutzpah to call the president of the insurance company and say, this is not right. If she'd just been angry, it wouldn't have worked out.

[08:10]

But her outrage, he said, did they do that? It's someone else's fault. I'll correct it. So she got him up. So... Shall we have a break? Shall we stop now for the afternoon or shall we have some tea and come back? Okay, ten after five or so we come back and we'll end shortly after that. Unless you guys make it so interesting, we continue.

[09:10]

Thank you. I like your green stomach. You're all green today. That's really awesome. You had something you were going to ask him, maybe?

[10:18]

Yes, I'm going to do it again in German. Please translate for me. Yes, I have a question about the breath. As I said before, it's called breathing. Sometimes you can't breath on the breath. I'm doing it differently now. I've learned how to breathe in the 8th sense, how to breath on the breath specifically. You said you talked of bringing your attention to your breath, and I do it slightly different. I try to create a sort of surrounding or more inclusive attention, not especially to the breathing, but general attention. So what I would like to know is, what would be the different outcome between just keeping your attention on your breath and keeping a general attentiveness or attention not specialized on something one is a rope or thread

[11:43]

And the other is more spatial. You know, as I understand the practice, as you speak about it, bringing your attention to your situation, this is wonderful to do and it's very basic. Yeah, again, it's the one of the four foundations of mindfulness to bring your attention to what you're doing. But it's a related teaching these four because they work together. So you also bring your attention to your emotions and your feelings. So you learn to stay in the context of kind of topography of feeling.

[12:45]

In this physical situation, you know, that you... And you begin to bring your attention also to, as I say, the field of mind, not the contents of mind. And the field of mind is also this spacious situation. But the most powerful of all among the four is bringing your attention to your breath. Because it weaves these three others together. And as I said earlier, it weaves body and mind together. And the more breath becomes the vehicle for mind, It also becomes the vehicle for bringing awareness, not consciousness, but awareness into your sleep, your dreams.

[14:06]

and deeper states of mind. And as I said, it's also a way of weaving. This is your family, your entire family, is that right? Good. Come in. So it's a weaving of mind and body together. And as I say, mind and body are not one, nor are they two, but it's a relationship to be cultivated. So it's in a way a kind of more biological temptedness.

[15:29]

So I would suggest that you continue this sense of bringing your awareness and attention to your situation. But you are always breathing. Yeah, so you might as well rest your attention on the landing field of breath. And when the plane gets tired of flying around, it can rest on the runway of breath. And it's not just, you know, like, you know, we're speaking again with Atmar's, what he said, It's not just supplanting the continuity of thinking with the continuity of breath, body, phenomena or the field of mind.

[16:46]

But it's also finding yourself comfortable And what can I say? That kind of timelessness. And continuity disappears. And everything disappears. So I just not force anything, but also bring your attention gently to your breath, as well as to your situation. Sometimes I do it, a kind of mission. That's good, yeah. Keep it, yeah. But I would make some intention, but not force it. Something else?

[18:02]

No high fives? Hi. So I think we've actually, surprising to me, touched on this topic pretty well. And not thoroughly, but perhaps decisively in some ways. And you know, since we're lay people, I don't like to emphasize cross-legged sitting too much. So mostly I emphasize mindfulness and working with your views.

[19:05]

And probably mindfulness and working with your views is more basic. But the short road in this short lifetime is cross-legged sitting. To really get the taste of real stillness. and to see how in so many ways we don't trust. And coming close to stillness exposes our existential distrust. And stillness is very, very powerful.

[20:09]

Once stillness begins to take hold of you A kind of non-linguistic inner silence. Yeah, as I say, as long as you have a taste of physical stillness. It begins to draw the mind into stillness. It's contagious. And the more mind and body are still so that all this movement begins to come together, this stillness draws us now into, we could say, an existential trust.

[21:14]

Perhaps we could say big trust mind. This big accepting mind. Perhaps also this feeling that we have exactly the problems we need. Yeah, it's so relaxing. The more you feel it, the more you're, oh, it's okay to die. Everything is okay. I say, yet gladly we remain in this world. But still, when you actually die, feel okay to die.

[22:23]

It's a kind of stillness. It's a very deep, anxious, free state of mind. Now to know that, you know, to know that in your daily life is this taking refuge in Buddha, Dharma and Sangha. We can also call it way-seeking mind. There's an expression I like, Chinese and Japanese expression, where they say somebody is a boat-carrying person. Sometimes it's called a person carrying a board. And you can't see this side. You can only see this side. Whenever I mention this, I remember... with friends trying to carry paintings through the streets of New York to a gallery.

[23:40]

And New York's like a grid, The wind, some of the streets are like wind tunnels. So if the painting, if you're carrying the painting, you have to carry it on the side where the painting, the back of the painting. So you can't, it's a big painting, you can't, you have two people usually, and you can't see the streetlights. But everyone's on this side looking because they want to see the painting. But when the wind comes, you go sailing down the street and control yourself. But here, this is not this. This is a boat carrying person. But a boat-carrying person, it's sort of the same.

[24:47]

You can't see to this side. So that's like being attached to what's not real. And forgetting what's real. And so, you know, we carry the boat. The image of the boat I like. Because a boat is quite useless on your shoulders. A boat is useful when it's in the water. So we go around carrying this big boat like thinking or something. Which isn't a very useful way to sail in our life. When thinking is necessary, yes, we should think. We shouldn't carry thinking all the time around so we can't see anything.

[25:54]

So we put the boat down. And we're very surprised. We see that we are both Buddha and an ordinary person at the same time. And we can feel this deep, deep mind. And we can feel the pressure or the, what can I say, the future is what's beyond the horizon we don't see. It's like it's withheld from us. But it supports the present. And as David Abram says it's also what's under the earth is refused to us.

[27:00]

And the past is refused. And yet it's the past which doesn't reveal itself. which makes again the present available to us. And yet we feel also what emerges from inside us and emerges from the present. From the present as presence. And when we put this boat down, Anyway, Japanese and Chinese and Buddhists use this image of the boat.

[28:02]

Yeah, and I think today, this weekend, we put the boat down for a while. And we actually looked at each other. It's quite nice. I hope that if we continue, we look at each other. And when you look at anyone, you find yourself taking refuge in Buddha, Dharma, Sangha. You find yourself in accord with each person and phenomena and yourself as this other possibility of Buddha, Dharma and Sangha. So, you know, at the end of the day I get a little incoherent.

[29:18]

I'm sorry, but perhaps you catch my feeling. Yeah, and we've already said too much, you know. And as you know, one's eyebrows get long when you talk to them. And my eyebrows started out too long. I apologize for speaking so much. So I think this is... Can we sit for a few minutes?

[29:50]

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