Now I have Buddha hands. These are my hands. These are Buddha's hands. Because Buddha has lost contact with the mental image of the Buddha. What? What? She has understood why you have the contact not like this and you have it like that. But it's the case that you do, right? All right, so you can move this finger easily, right? Put your hands together like that and try it. I know it's hard for you, but if you can do it... Yes, like this. Exactly. Do it like this.

[01:01]

And now do it like this. And then say to yourself, move, or somebody says to you, move your left little finger. Or move your little finger. You say point, yes. If you say left, you've got it. Because then you're in the mental image. So if someone points... So what that shows is you're not relating to the body, you're relating to the mental image of the body. So it's likewise, if I can move one finger into sleep, I suddenly find my whole arm. When I have no more an image of the body, then it's like the Buddha has, what you said.

[02:15]

Yes, that's right. Don't be difficult. Don't try to find problems all the time. Until we've gotten this cleared. I don't mind problems, but let's not rush into them. Okay. When you're practicing meditation, and you begin to, for example, in a very simple way, not know where your thumbs are, So you try to move them and it feels like there's a galactic space between them, but they're right next to each other.

[03:28]

And sometimes your whole body sense disappears. What does this mean? It means you've dropped the thought shield image of your body. And this is one of the things Buddhism means by functioning through a sense of a permanent self. So when Buddhism says most people think their self is permanent, But it really doesn't mean much to you to see how you function through the implication of a permanent self. So if I have this thought shield body,

[04:55]

I'll always feel rather separate in the world. I'll feel there's some kind of glass wall. And that is... That implies there's an outside. And not a Mobius strip relationship. A Mobius strip? A Mobius strip? Yeah, that's like if you take a piece of paper and you turn it once, it's one surface all the way around. So as soon as you posit a way of functioning as if there's a real distinction in outside and inside, in Buddhism that's understood as an implicit sense of permanence.

[06:04]

In other words, you may know the outside is not permanent. But if you believed it was permanent, you'd act exactly the same way. So you're acting as if it's permanent, even if you happen to think it's not permanent. So when you drop that sense, this body shield, which all of us have some experiences of it, but it doesn't stay with us. But if you practice and your mindfulness increases, develops a kind of viscosity of awareness.

[07:25]

As I say, if you see an insect you can't see an insect's path. But if the insect touches the water, you see its path. And through the practice of mindfulness you develop an awareness which has a kind of, shall we say, thickness or viscosity. which little things that happen to you leave a tracing. So you have a momentary sense of boundarylessness. And if you've been practicing, you may have a physical feeling, you may know that in your body.

[08:31]

And once you know it in your body, you can hold that and begin to relate to it. And begin to relate to it. And that's why Zen is primarily a Yogacara practice. Because it's about knowing in your body mental states of mind. Because again, all mental states have a physical component and all sentient physical states have a mental component. So, the coming and going in birth and death is our true human body.

[09:38]

That's another way of saying again, finding yourself a movable center. So, It's almost lunchtime. There's a second part to this statement that I'm going to give you this afternoon. Let me try for a few minutes to go back to where I was.

[10:47]

Siddhartha is dead. What made the Buddha awake can't exactly die. Because it's a kind of field. It's realm of the coming, door and death. Now the understanding of living is that His realm, the coming, going, birth and death, has been passed to us. Now Neil has this charming blonde daughter who is here with us. And there's a certain feel that we call McLean.

[11:56]

And when I look at her, I can see. Now if he sat down, Neil sat down, what is most characteristic about this view that I'm living and sharing with my daughter? If he thought it through, he might even be more conscious in how she passes it to her children. If I meet a second generation Japanese person, any of their parents were born in Japan. But they were born in America.

[12:58]

I still feel I'm talking to a Japanese person. But a third generation Japanese person may be a fourth generation talking to an American. What made the Buddha... the Buddha and not Siddhartha, was so wonderful that a group of people got together and said, let's understand what this feeling was, is. And let's continue. That's the sound. And we actually, whether you tell me to or not, we are trying to understand in ourselves what this healing is.

[14:11]

You call it a Buddha field. And it changed Herman's life. So Herman made you, I'd like to continue this with us. And he said, there's a different kind of friendship that we can practice with than just friends we've had historically. And although Paul and Herman and Neil, for example, Paul and Neil just met And Hermann just, they met very briefly. Still, I bet they feel, the three of them, that they share something as if they were oppressed. And we could call this a Buddha-feel or a Samba-feel. It's interesting that a group of people would try to pass over centuries something so innocent.

[15:38]

And they took this very seriously. And they And the way science is taken seriously in our culture, we have the Max Planck Institute and Princeton Institute of Advanced Study and so forth. actually think tank-like things got together like that to say, let's really understand this so it will be faster. And the intelligence and developed awareness of numerous generations was devoted to this question. This is the Sangha we're taking refuge in.

[16:47]

If what made the Buddha the Buddha, is a field which doesn't die, or can continue. We can't say it's a particular point here, it has to be here. So if it's in this big here-ness here, big here-ness, you have the four directions.

[17:50]

So if it's here, let's say, okay, let's put a Buddha over there. So we put Amitabha. And in the center, okay, so you put these four Buddhas, because they delineate territory, right? But this doesn't accurately describe, that's just kind of mental space. And this doesn't make any sense unless there's a center. So these are called the five directions.

[18:54]

Because you put a Buddha in each of the four directions, which then makes you necessary to actually move one. into the center as well. And as two of you have pointed out already from your experience that pushes this up. So this is Vajrasana Buddha. The Vairocana Buddha then identifies the space. So this kind of teaching in the formulation of these four Five interrelated moving locations. So, Dogen might say a contemporary philosophy.

[20:16]

This is the deep structure of the coming and going of birth and death. Because this field that we are all in has a is a self-organizing or own-organizing system. And the way it is organized, as a field, implies some kind of Buddha mind. Just in a simple way, if you sit in this posture, your posture implies Buddha's posture.

[21:20]

And as I always say, it's also simultaneously an acceptance of your posture. No, this is my posture, but it's informed by the posture which I sometimes feel in my body. Something very clear and very settled. I don't know if we've cleared up this, sorted out this five direction stuff. But I hope we share some sense of what it means and why Buddhism did this. And maybe you can feel in yourself This field present right now.

[22:35]

Which moment by moment is different. And we cannot grasp it. But if we don't try to grasp it, we can feel it. So let's sit for a minute or two and then have lunch. I've mentioned it already.

[23:57]

Is there anything anyone would like to speak about or to bring up? I have a question from before. You said before that I can find stillness only when I have trust. And how do I find trust? I think the best way is to find in your body when you do have trust. So let's keep it very simple and practical. Like say when you wash your face in the morning.

[25:34]

Do you feel trust when you do that? Or any simple physical act that you tend to feel trust when you do it. And then you begin to notice other instances when you feel trust like that. It's a craft-like process in which you start with the materials of your own existence. And then you knowing that feeling you see when that feeling is present at other times. And if you And the more you know that feeling you try to extend that feeling to other activities.

[26:55]

And when you can't extend it to other activities You study why you can't extend it directly. It's actually fairly simple. Your intention, though, has to be there. Say, for example, you have some feeling, as usually I put it, some feeling of nourishment. Or completeness in what you do. And then, a few minutes later... Say you're speaking to Frank. You're talking on the phone. And suddenly you don't feel so nourished. Then you study, what did I say? What did I say which made me not feel trusting or nourished? If you do that, and that's essentially also a form of practicing mindfulness, because you can't do that unless you're mindful.

[28:13]

So you're extending mindfulness into your life by doing that? And on the basis of that mindfulness you're also noticing when you feel trusting or when you don't feel trusting, for example. And if you do that, you can actually build up in only a maybe weeks or months, a fairly good picture of when trust disappears and when it appears. And this is basically the practice of the Eightfold Path. Right speech, right conduct and so forth. you can understand as that speech when you can trust your own speech or feel nourished by your own speech.

[29:39]

So we could say in a way that the Eightfold Path is a path of mindfulness in which you map your ordinary life or discover the topography of your ordinary life. When your speech, conduct, your employment, your livelihood Nourish you or don't. So this is actually the practice of knowing oneself, of studying oneself. And there's no special magic to it. Just you intend to do it and these are tools by which to do it. And it helps to be motivated to do it for others as well as for yourself.

[30:56]

If you only do it for yourself, usually you don't do it very well. If you're doing it for your child or your friends or this world, it's better. I think of Sukhiroshi's teacher. Sukhiroshi had two main teachers, Gyokujun and another man named Kishizawa. And a friend of Paul's and myself is writing a biography of Sukhya Krishna. So all the stories he told over the years have been accumulated and being put into this book. And we have a manuscript copy we're looking at. So it reminds me of all these stories.

[32:00]

And one story, for instance, Tsukiyoshi had to clean the temple where he was with Kishizawa Roshi. And Kishizawa came in after he finished And he went around very carefully. And at the end he said, it's better to make one room bloom than clean two rooms partly. This is, you know, anybody's mother could tell them that, I suppose. But it's actually very representative of a Buddhist way of thinking.

[33:07]

I mean, it's also, for example, you don't find emphasis on the best restaurant in Kyoto. Because the emphasis is having the best, a good restaurant on your corner. Emphasis is always the local comparison, not a big comparison. On the other hand, Gary Snyder's teacher before he died Gary went to Japan and saw him. Gary's a poet who studied in Japan. If any of you have read the Dharma Bums, in that book he's Jack Kerouac's book, in that book he's Jaffe Ryder.

[34:12]

Anyway, his teacher told him, the last thing he said was, there's only two things. Zazen and sweeping the temple. And no one knows how big the temple is. Zen Buddhists are into cleaning. So Germany is a good country for Zen Buddhists. Yeah. My family was here for 10 days from San Francisco and Portugal and Holland. And they couldn't believe, you know, Freiburg, it's not Berlin. Freiburg, there's no trash in the streets.

[35:14]

You can't believe how that looks to an American. It sounds impossible. What? Berlin is also incredible. For a Berliner, it's incredible. What? Streets without trash. Oh, yeah, that's what I said. For a Berliner, it's not Berlin. That's what you said. But the Americans were here for too long. Yeah, but they made some trash before. Yeah. Okay, something else? Yeah, at first? Yeah. Yesterday, one of the many questions that you formulated, not the several students, that keeps going on in my brain, I said that to take refuge to something, it's got to be permanent, because you take refuge from all that is changeable, right?

[36:32]

what is, what constitutes the permanence of the Buddha? Yes, in Deutsch. In Deutsch, bitte. I was corrected at lunch. Just on, I think, you know, As one of the many questions, how these two days of preparation should be formulated in an apocryphal way, I would like to say that it is better to say that the rest is so subordinate. Consciousness is something constant. Yeah, that's what makes answering these questions so difficult. And my answer itself interferes with its understanding.

[37:36]

But I have to believe, and it's been at least to some extent my experience, that although understanding, the effort to understand interferes, At least some of the times in the long run it helps. And it's partly that I think lay practice requires more understanding. I think if we could just say sit here all day or sit here for many days in a row with a simple life we could say a monastic life is that life

[38:57]

which turns a phenomena, self and other people into Dharma, Buddha and Sangha. And the life itself, just the problem was just sitting and so forth and following a schedule. Yeah, and there's mostly no reason for it. You can't survive unless you come into some kind of ease with situations. and situations that are outside of your control.

[40:21]

In fact, we don't have a choice about most of life. Most of life is just presented to us. So the word, let's take two basic words in Buddhism. Karma and Dharma. Karma means that change which accumulates. Okay, so Dharma then and that in... In a similar way, dharma then means when change doesn't accumulate. That things appear and disappear without leaving a trace.

[41:33]

Or the way that a trace is left is not encumbering, doesn't get encumbering. So that's a kind of... When change doesn't accumulate, that's a kind of not changing. When change doesn't accumulate, that's a kind of not changing. At least you're not faced with accumulated change all the time in what you do think. Dogen says, and that no trace continues endlessly. So this is a way of trying to take things out of context, language out of context and say something Because on the surface it doesn't mean anything.

[42:55]

That trace continues endlessly. So the word dharma, what it means etymologically, is what stays, or what holds, or what appears. So in a teaching where everything changes, dharma means what doesn't change. Where everything changes, dharma means what doesn't change. So I'll just say some things that occur to me in regard to this, some of them basic, because you're trying to practice zazen.

[43:55]

One of the easiest things in the world to do is to bring your attention to your breath. You can all do that very easily. But one of the most difficult things in the world to do is to keep it there. This is interesting. Why is it so difficult? Why is it so difficult? If we look carefully at it when you bring your attention to your breath and your attention is a mental posture So to bring your attention to your breath is to bring your mind to your breathing.

[45:06]

So you're beginning the process of weaving mind and body together. But the mind jumps back to the thinking. Why does it jump back to the thinking? Because you've only brought your sense of location to your breath. Or your sense of location into this room, for instance. But you haven't brought your sense of identification. Your sense of identification remains with your thinking. And that's more powerful than the sense of place. So the sense of place pops back to the thinking. Yeah.

[46:15]

That's esoteric. Just be patient and say it. Ein Deutscher bitte. Is that right? In Deutsch? In Deutsch. Oder auf Deutsch. Auf Deutsche bitte. Auf Deutsch bitte. Auf Deutsche bitten. Deutsch bitte. I'm sorry, I'm so stupid. Okay. Now, as I said, a subtle form of the permanence of self is the sense of self identified with the body.

[47:30]

Rather than with the lived presence, with the lived activity of the body. Now another sense of the... permanence of self, every time your sense of location goes back to your thinking, this is a kind of belief in the permanence of self. as thinking. And that's where you take refuge. So every time your breath, your thinking, your attention goes back to your thinking, you've taken refuge in thinking rather than in Buddha, Dharma or Sangha. Now, if you keep bringing repeatedly by intention

[49:01]

Your sense of location to your breath. It begins to kind of get roots there. And the sense of place begins to be rooted there. And some kind of familiarity or intimacy begins. And then maybe you kind of make a guest room. And so your sense of identity says, well, the guest room ain't too bad. I guess I'll go and spend a night there. But then, oh, the room wasn't so clean, and I like my own bed better, and poof, it's back. Not to tell the Again, this famous story of Buddha being asked who he is.

[50:19]

Are you a king? No. Are you some sort of sage? No. Who are you? Awake. Awaked. I'm quite sure he didn't say, I am awake. He just said, awake. Awakeness. Someone said to you, who are you? And your instinctive response was, breathing. That would be the same kind of answer. Unreflective, just, who I am is my breathing. If you're walking, you might say walking. And really feel that that's what your identity was. Yeah.

[51:23]

So basically we can say if we analyze the process you keep bringing your sense of location to your breath. And eventually the sense of identification begins to come with it. And it especially begins to come with it in response to Tanya's question. When you begin to trust your breath. Because you won't live in a place you don't trust. You kind of have to start trusting your breath and trusting your body. You appeared in this world out of your mother's womb. Yes, it's a fragile existence we come into.

[52:38]

But still, this is all you are. This is what is. So it's what we accept and trust. And that trust as the basic way of functioning is what makes, I think, life work most fully. But it can only be when you have a non-comparative state of mind. As soon as you have a comparative state of mind, there won't be trust. Okay. I'm still responding to you. So I was speaking with Paul about this the other day.

[54:12]

If we look at one of the functions of self, which is continuity, To establish continuity. And that's part of what holds is continuity. If you establish continuity in your thinking, this is very fragile. Where else can you establish continuity? You can establish continuity in your breath in contrast to your thinking. You can establish continuity in your body. And you can establish continuity in phenomena.

[55:22]

And these are the practices of mindfulness. To keep bringing yourself back into what I'm calling today the five dimensions. Of this immediate situation. And now the fourth place you can bring your sense of continuity is the field of mind itself, not the contents of mind. Okay. Now, if I look at you... This is again, for those of you, I always hate to go over things again, but this is so basic, I have to go over it.

[56:30]

Okay, so you, I see you. But I also see my mind when I see you. Because the act of seeing points at you, but also points at the mind which is seeing. So when I see you, I see my own mind seeing. And to get into the habit of doing that is Buddhist practice. No. If when I look at you, I see my own mind, I see the mind that we generate together. It's not just me, it's something that happens through us looking at it. So at that moment, you're a content of mind.

[57:31]

And now if I look at you, there's another content of mind. And mind is slightly different. And if I look at you, it's similarly. So I have an experience of a slightly different mind. Three or five or twenty or thirty. But all of these minds that appear are characterized by mind. So I begin to feel the mind which sees or hears or smells That field of mind is called a dharma. Because it tends to hold. Particularly mind concentrated on itself holds. If you can concentrate on that, and it's some, as you know, skill to be able to stay with it, normally our mind goes off, back to thinking or something.

[59:10]

you bring it back it goes away but after a while it starts coming back more easily and eventually it stays if it goes away it comes back by itself and eventually it just stays and when you can just rest your attention on something whether it's your breath or a person, that means you've developed the yogic skill of one-pointedness. Okay, now say you're concentrated on this and your mind is just resting on it. We have a stick arising mind. Because it's said in Buddhism that a particular consciousness always arises through an object of consciousness.

[60:20]

So this is a mind which is arisen through the object of the stick. So let me take this away. And say you remain concentrated. Now what is the object of consciousness? the field of mind itself. So now the object of consciousness is consciousness or mind itself. And that's called samadhi. That's one way to define samadhi. When mind is concentrated on itself. Now, if you notice that mind is concentrated on itself and it goes away, that's fragile samadhi. Stable Samadhi, you can keep the mind concentrated on itself and then observe something without interfering.

[61:43]

And you can observe something without interfering with it. And without what is being observed interfering with the consciousness. Then we in a way could call that vipassana. That's now a mind which stably can observe the world from its own concentration. When you can remain concentrated on mind, That's a dharma.

[63:00]

And you can't say it doesn't change, but it doesn't change much in relationship to the way everything else has changed. So that mind is closely related to, conceptually, to space. So sometimes this is called spacious mind or space mind or the Dharmakaya. Sometimes the Buddha at the zenith is called space mind or Dharmakaya. So this mind, when you're concentrated on mind itself, it is very close to the same thing of when you drop the body shield and suddenly you feel a big space around you.

[64:01]

Space is sometimes called a Dharma. That's a start on your question. So how do you take refuge in space? Or the field of mind itself? That's not so easy to give you a feeling for, but I'll try. So what time should we stop this afternoon? 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, today. I don't think most people want to stay until 6.

[65:04]

5.30, 5? Nope choice? 6.50. Summertime. Summertime. So it's 4.15 now. Okay, so let's, at 4.30, we'll take a break, and then we'll come back at 5, and then we'll go until we feel we should stop. It might be 10 minutes, it might be an hour. Sounds good. I appreciate that very much. So maybe tomorrow I'll try to make more sense of this as a realistic practice.

[66:19]

But today maybe I'll just try to discuss some different ways of thinking, feeling about things. Now dharma also means what cannot be further reduced. So it's come to mean in Mahayana practice an irreducible unit of experience. Okay, so how do we identify these irreducible units of experience? And I think, again, it's something, again, as I've talked about quite often before, still it's part of today's discussion.

[67:51]

And to go back to, you know, what I said to Tanya, is that when you feel nourished by something, that moment we can call a dharma. Or again, like if I pick up this bell, if I feel each action in a completeness, that's a dharma. So if you've been practicing awareness, and evolving awareness through attention to awareness, awareness begins to permeate your body. And everything appears like a little flower.

[68:53]

And I don't think that's much different than people who don't practice. The difference is the degree to which you notice it. And the degree to which it appears in a kind of timeless space. And timeless space is something like you might feel when you're sunbathing. The world feels stopped. So there's a moment in which you... There's a moment when I feel I'm going to pick up the belt. So I have a certain patience and I just let that feeling occur. I just don't go like that. I'm going to pick up the dell here.

[69:57]

like a little flower. And then I move my hand to the bell. And that's complete. And then I stop. And I feel the coolness of the bell. And that's a third Dharma. And then I pick it up, I lift it. And then I put it in my hand. And that's a dharma. And this practice, as I've often pointed out, is, you know, we could say why they don't have handles and teacups in Japan and China. Because this sense of a dharma as woven in our existence It's more complete when we do things with two hands.

[71:11]

So you bring it up, and if you notice, Asian people will hold their cup here. Why? Because your chocolate's here. It's a location. And then you drink your tea. And then you hold it here a moment. That's a chakra. So it's a way of activating the chakras, which is also part of being in a Dharma realm. So there's a kind of completeness. There's a complete feeling. So, as I say, like when a painter knows when a painting is finished. How do you know when something's finished? There's no rule book about it. You just have to feel it in yourself.

[72:13]

And you'll notice it also because you tend to feel it. And you also tend to feel aligned. So for instance, if I pick this up, I not only feel rather nourished by the simplicity of it, And my mind is resting in it. And I'm not thinking about anything else. So I feel rather centered and at ease. But surprisingly, perhaps surprisingly, I feel aligned with the other five four directions. It makes me feel a certain alignment as if I could feel him from inside.

[73:15]

I almost feel like my backbone is one line of a musical thing and you're the other line of the musical thing. Though I could say I even feel a kind of attunement. So when there's a kind of momentary attunement or alignment or nourishment or completeness These are kind of dharmas. And you can take refuge in this. I mean, even if you are about to die, if you feel attuned, aligned, complete, nourished, no big deal to die, It only lasts a moment.

[74:32]

You only experience about half the time it lasts. The second half you are dead. But let's take it what's more serious than dying is being sick. Even if you're in the midst of being sick, if you have your faculties, You can't grasp it, but it holds. This is taking refuge in the Dharma. Cold Buddha and warm Buddha.

[77:18]

That's the famous koan. Where is there where there's no hot or cold? Dung Shan said, cold Buddha, warm Buddha. Yeah, good. Maybe I can try to give you an equally ephemeral but more accessible, perhaps, sense of that which holds. Excuse me, the word holds, yes.

[78:27]

Stays. Stays, yeah. Das, was also, sagen wir mal, hält, kann man sagen, oder? Gut, das, was hält. Also im Sinne von beiner Beständigkeit. And it's good too, because it has a sense of, we hold it. Das ist gut deswegen, das Wort, weil es ein Gefühl hat, dass wir es halten. Okay. Again, forgive me for saying the obvious. But this moment, this one, whatever... however we language it, is completely unique. It will never be repeated. And we together have generated it. And you all know that it's present. But if you think about it, it's gone. This we can call in Buddhism also a signless state of mind.

[79:45]

In other words, as soon as you try to sign it, it goes away. Or we can also call it a... non-graspable feeling. Yeah. We can't grasp it, but we can feel it. There's somebody's cushion here. No one's using it. You can sit there. Non-graspable feeling accompanies all states of mind.

[81:01]

And this non-graspable feeling of this particular moment again is completely unique. If you know its uniqueness, if you experience its uniqueness, then you're a genuine practitioner of non-permanence. If you don't actually experience its uniqueness, then in effect you believe in permanence. Practically speaking at least, your consciousness treats things as if they were permanent.

[82:06]

Again, you may intellectually know that everything's changing. But that's just intellectual understanding unless you experience this moment as absolutely unique. And if you know it is absolutely unique, you put 100% or maybe 200% of your energy into it. Or you feel yourself rooted in this situation. When a poet is writing,

[83:20]

They often use the image that the muses are helping them write. And when you are rooted in this uniqueness, this ungraspable uniqueness, you also feel as if everything is helping you. you can't separate out some kind of... How does Dogen say it? Dogen says, when the self advances and reveals myriad things, this is delusion. I'm sorry. When the self advances and reveals myriad things, this is delusion.

[84:29]

When myriad things advance and reveal the self, this is enlightenment. When all the muses advance and reveal the poem, When all the muses emerge and reveal themselves, or rather reveal the poem, then it is a true poem. So this is also a way of understanding, taking refuge in the Dharma. Because the uniqueness of this moment, which cannot be further reduced, is the Dharma. and I think it's not so inaccessible to us if from now on moment by moment you can feel yourself in this absolute uniqueness and at first it's exhausting because your mind feels so much more comfortable thinking about the future

[85:52]

You know, I'm not a student of Heidegger. So I'm quoting out of context. I can't really say what he really meant. Though I did visit his hut the other day at Passmark near Johanneshof. It's quite a walk up to it, especially pushing my grandson. My son-in-law, who is a student of of Heidegger. He was so kind of blinded by feeling he's next to the hut, he had to run away down the hill. And we, what? Well, we got to it, he wouldn't touch it, and he wouldn't let himself be photographed beside it.

[87:19]

Seriously. He felt he was too close to something that was too bright or something like that. Despite Heidegger's personal history, which is quite unattractive. As is Graf von Durkheim's. But we're brightening it up. We're trying anyway. Yeah, anyway, yes. So although I'm not a student of Durkheim or Heidegger, I'm a student of my translator. Yeah. He said, we get caught by the ecstasy of the future.

[88:32]

And ecstasy in English means out of place, ecstasis. And he says it's very hard to not be caught by the ecstasy of the three times. And to be actually here in this real time. Yeah. So at first it's quite a lot of effort because the ecstasy of the future and the past draw you out of this uniqueness. The instasis instead of ecstasis. But at some point, as I've been implying, it's the only place you can relax.

[89:55]

It's the only place there is true ease. Where you find you have found your true home. in the absolute uniqueness of this moment what a relief and I think you can you know tentatively and intentionally approach this uniqueness this uniqueness as home And it's always a kind of approach. It's not, if it was more than an approach, it would be something fixed.

[91:02]

So there's quite a lot of koans which express this. The ones you know the best perhaps are like Dongshan being asked among the three bodies of the Buddha. Which one does not fall into any category? Which one doesn't have boundaries? And Dungsan said, I'm always close to this. So this is a phrase you can actually practice with just walking on the streets here. I'm always close to this, close to this. Yeah, it's probably better than here, because here... There's something fixed about it.

[92:08]

And it begins to open you to the myriad things advancing and revealing your home. Another one is Where are you going? says a teacher to his disciple. I'm going on pilgrimage. Where are you going? I don't know.

[92:48]

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