I think the theme for this meditation course is like meditating on the bodhisattva's creativity and freedom. Bodhisattva is being devoted to realize enlightenment for the welfare of all beings. I said bodhisattva is aspiring to supreme enlightenment for the welfare of all beings. Sometimes we say a bodhisattva is devoted to. You can say it that way, too.

[01:02]

But that sounds like there's this thing called bodhisattva that's devoted to the welfare of all beings. It makes it sound like there's something that's devoted rather than the thing is the devotion. The bodhisattva is not a being who is in addition to aspiring to enlightenment for the welfare of all beings. It is that kind of being. It is the being devoted to the welfare of all beings. It is the aspiration to be very skillful. It's not somebody who has the aspiration, it is the aspiration. And if you would aspire to the welfare of all beings, if you would aspire to be devoted to the welfare of all beings, the same would

[02:09]

apply to you or me. You are not something in addition to being devoted to the welfare of all beings. You may think so, but the bodhisattva is representing that non-dual kind of life where the devotion to the welfare of all beings is also not separate from the welfare of all beings, and it's also not separate from the beings. It's that kind of a being that's the bodhisattva. But we're that way, too. When we feel the aspiration to live for the welfare of others, when there's not me in addition to the aspiration, that's like bodhisattva, or that is a bodhisattva. So bodhisattvas could also aspire to creativity and freedom,

[03:15]

and to fill that out, I would say that bodhisattvas are free, and their freedom is inseparable from creativity, or the freedom of a bodhisattva is inseparable from the creativity of a bodhisattva. And then to fill this out more, which I've done before, in a sense situated in the middle of the creativity and the freedom is understanding. So there is creativity, and in that creativity there's an understanding, and that understanding in the middle of creativity is freedom. So in a way I would propose to myself and you that freedom is inseparable from creativity,

[04:21]

that when there's freedom there's creativity, and that when there's creativity there's freedom. And the lack of realization of freedom is related to the lack of realization of creativity. And again, in the middle of the creativity and the freedom is understanding, and understanding that comes when we are situated in creativity. One step back from creativity is playfulness, or being playful. So a bodhisattva aspires to be playful, or a bodhisattva is aspiring to be playful, is aspiring to be creative, is aspiring to understanding, is aspiring to freedom, all this for the welfare of all beings. And taking one more step before playfulness,

[05:27]

bodhisattvas aspire to be relaxed so they can play. But again, I said bodhisattvas aspire to be relaxed so they can play, but bodhisattva is the aspiration to relax so that there can be play. And then a step before the requirement for play is trust. So bodhisattvas aspire to trust relaxation. And in order to trust being relaxed we need to be generous and ethical and patient. And we need to aspire. Again, I say we need to aspire, but again, there needs to be the aspiration to relax.

[06:43]

There needs to be the aspiration to learn the art of relaxation. And then there needs to be the trust that it would be okay to practice the art of relaxation. In order to trust that it would be okay to do this practice of the art of relaxation, we need to be ethical and generous and patient, and we need to want to. Or again, in order for there to be the practice of relaxation which enables play and creativity, there needs to be generosity, ethical discipline, and patience. And again, the aspiration. I used the example on Monday, if you're practicing sitting, and practicing sitting as an opportunity

[07:53]

to practice the art of relaxation, and the thought occurs to you that you're not sure if you turned the burner off on the stove at your house, or you're not sure you closed the garage door, or you're not sure the dog's in the house, or you're not sure the babysitter showed up for your kids, because you weren't careful, then you might sort of have trouble relaxing in the meditation hall. Same if you come here, and you didn't pay attention to where you parked your car, and maybe you parked in a tow-way zone, because you didn't look, it may be hard for you to relax, unless you can say, hey, I'm totally in support of the towing companies. I give them my car, and I'll give them the money, and I'll give them the time it takes to go get it.

[08:54]

Then you're starting to practice generosity, and then you're willing to give away your car, and your money, and your time. Then you're practicing ethics. Even without going to fix your car, you're practicing generosity and ethics, and you're also being patient with the amount of time it's going to take you to go get your car, so you don't have to then get up and go check. You can relax. I propose that to you. But again, house burning down is a little bit different, because your neighbors may not be up for their houses burning down, so that's a little bit different. Either you're going to not be able to relax, or you're going to have to get up from your place and go check to see if the fire's off. Also, when it comes to, is the baby being taken care of, it's not really up to you to give the baby away without the baby's permission. So it's going to be hard to relax on that one.

[09:56]

But if you did carefully arrange your car parking, and your child care, and your dog care, and you took care of your house, everything's okay, now you can let go of all that stuff and relax. Now I say relax, and that's another way to say concentrate. It's another way to say be absorbed. Enter a state of absorption. Enter a state of tranquility, of serenity. So that part of the process which sets up the playfulness, which will initiate the creative process, which will enter the creative process, the setup is tranquility. And I said tonight, when you were sitting,

[10:58]

without contrivance, the mind is calm. And then I turned it around and said, calm the mind without contrivance. The hallmark of concentration, one of the main hallmarks of concentration is relaxation. Another way to put it is a supple, relaxed, flexible body and mind. That's kind of like a criterion for concentration, that the mind is supple and relaxed. And one of our ancestors heard that expression, and he asked his teacher, what does the bodhisattva's suppleness of mind mean? And the teacher says, it's the readiness for body and mind to drop away.

[12:04]

It's the readiness to let go of your body and mind. And this readiness or willingness for body and mind to be let go of, to be released, to be surrendered in the moment, this sets up the possibility of play. Once again, the practice of tranquility, the practice of concentration, this kind of concentration which sets up entering into creativity, this kind of concentration depends on being generous, ethical, patient, and enthusiastic about having a supple, relaxed body and mind, so that you can be ready to let go of your body and mind and then be playful. It's hard to be playful if you're holding on to your body and mind.

[13:13]

It's not impossible to start, but the real playfulness is you're really ready to let go of body and mind, but again, you don't do this letting go of body and mind, you're just ready for it and it can happen. There is focus in absorption, there is focus in concentration, but it's a focus that's relaxed, it's a focus that exists in relaxation. It's like you can pay attention to and stay focused on something because you're relaxed. For the bodhisattva, one of the main things they're focused on is again playfulness, but it's not just playfulness with colors and smells and physical postures, it's playfulness with all beings.

[14:16]

And it's playfulness for the welfare of all beings. So they're actually focused on and absorbed in the topic of the welfare of all beings, they're actually concentrated on that topic. But along with their focus on that is a kind of restlessness. So they're focused on this living being right now, but they can easily switch to focus on another being, if another being shows up and calls for help. One time I was in the Austrian Alps and it was not the winter, but there was still snow up there. And I went for a mountain climb with my host,

[15:24]

who's an Austrian-Swiss person, and another Zen student who was visiting him, who was familiar with mountain climbing, and he took me for a climb. And when we started the climb there was no snow, but as we started to climb it started to be snow. And they gave me no instruction on mountain climbing, but as we got higher they gave me a little instruction. And also as we got higher and also as we got onto a place where we were basically walking on a ledge and both sides of us the snow went away from us down on both sides, we were sort of walking on the peak of a ridge. And then they gave me some instruction. They handed me a pick and they said, pick, step. Pick, step. So you put the pick in and then you take a step rather than step and then pick. Pick, step, pull the pick out.

[16:25]

Pick, step, that's the instruction they gave me and that worked pretty well. They went up a ways and one of them started playing. One of them started skiing around. I just sort of stuck with pick, step. And while I was climbing up there I think, as I got into the swing of it and I was pretty relaxed, I started to think about my wife who was way down in the town down below and I was aware that she was actually washing clothes. I knew she would be washing clothes and doing some other things down there and I thought, that kind of work is a different kind of concentration and that kind of work makes possible this kind of work. So the bodhisattva isn't just like, pick, step, pick, step. The bodhisattva's mind actually is focused here

[17:28]

but it also doesn't have any boundaries. It's open to be aware that other people are doing other things and it can appreciate them while it's going pick, step. It's going pick, step, other beings. There's this being who's picking and stepping and there's his comrades who are picking and stepping with him and then there's many other beings. And the bodhisattva's mind isn't just narrowly focused, it's just focused. Because the mind is focused actually. It does focus on stuff. It does focus on stuff. Like right now I'm focusing on pink of Maria's shirt and green of John's shirt and the calligraphy which is attributed to me and Deirdre's arms are on her knee. I'm aware of that stuff. My mind is focused. Whatever I'm looking at, let's just say I'm good at this,

[18:29]

and whatever I'm looking at I'm focused, but actually all of our minds are always focused on what they're looking at. It's a natural thing of the mind that what it's aware of at the moment it's focused on. But it's not necessarily relaxed with that focus. And if it's not relaxed with that focus it tends not to be open to everything around it. When you're relaxed with the focus in some sense you're more absorbed in what you're looking at. You're more absorbed when you're relaxed with what you're focused on. And when you're more absorbed you're actually open to being restless and looking at other things and hearing other things. And I used to think that concentration was being concentrated, but I didn't think that it was open. But actually when you're concentrated you're very open and vulnerable. You're vulnerable and open when you're concentrated. Even though you're always

[19:33]

focused on what you're aware of you're not necessarily concentrated because your body may not be flexible and open. That's not the state yet. So when you're focused on things which you're always doing and you're open and relaxed that's concentration. That's the concentration which sets up being able to enter into play with what you're focused on. So for example again you might be focused on a color or your breath or your feet. But again the bodhisattva, although the bodhisattva is focused on what she's smelling she's simultaneously focused on the welfare of beings, all beings, while she's taking care of, for example, washing clothes or putting a pick in the snow. So there's a restlessness with the focus. There's not a fixation on the focus. I used to think that concentration was fixation

[20:36]

and I actually worked on that and had trouble getting my mind to be focused and rigid. But I finally got it to be focused rigidly. I thought that's what I was supposed to do. And I was kind of aggressive about getting rigidly focused rather than focused and flexible, focused and restless. I was kind of aggressive with myself. I threatened myself if I would deviate from what I was focusing on. And I finally got myself completely under control and fixated on what I was focusing on, which was my breath. And there was no restlessness. I didn't allow any. There was just focus with no flexibility. I attained focus with no flexibility,

[21:39]

which I thought was what I was trying to do. And again, I threatened myself if I would let the focus move to anything but the breath. And I attained it. And when I attained it, I retired from that practice and have not returned to it for 40-some years. When I got there, I said, this isn't what I came to Zen Center for. I'm totally under control in a way, but I'm also not happy and not relaxed. And this isn't what I came for. So now, I still try to practice concentration, but I try to do it the way I hear from... I didn't hear to practice this way, really, not from the ancestors. I sort of was kind of like in the culture, in a kind of aggressive culture that I sort of picked up on among my male friends. And I gave that up. So I'm still trying to practice concentration,

[22:41]

but I'm trying to do it without a contrivance, without trying to get concentration. I still try to remember the bodhisattva practices. I still try to remember what I'm doing them for. I still focus on the point of it all. Another thing that I found, and I find when I talk to people, is that when you're studying something, like if you're studying how to concentrate, or you're studying some teaching, or you're studying some practice, sometimes you notice that you're not absorbed in the study of the thing which you think you want to study. You think you want to study it, and you try, but then you notice you're not really doing it. You think you heard it's good,

[23:43]

and you're trying to be engaged, but you notice you're not really engaged. You're not wholehearted about the study. And then some people, like I did it for a while, particularly with the meditation, I thought I was supposed to focus on something, but I didn't really want to, and I just forced myself to do it because I thought I was supposed to. And again, I found this wasn't right for me. We also have mindfulness practices in this tradition. So some people try to practice mindfulness, and then they come and tell me, I don't want to practice mindfulness. And I say, well, don't. Or they say, I'm practicing mindfulness, but I'm half-hearted, and I say, well, what would you be wholehearted about? And also, I heard when I heard my early days of study about certainly very important Buddhist texts. One of them was called the Lotus Sutra. And I heard from Suzuki Roshi

[24:45]

that this was a really important sutra, and he was going to teach it. And I was going to go to a practice period where he was going to come down and teach it. So I thought, well, I'll start reading it. A lot of us were going to read it, waiting for him to come down and teach it. And he hadn't come yet, so I opened the scripture up and started reading it. And I don't think I read more than two pages. And I noticed that I wasn't very wholehearted about reading anymore. I was not absorbed. I was not interested. And he wasn't around, so I closed the book. And I kept trying to read the book, but I didn't push myself. When I felt like I was resisting it, I just closed the book and opened another book that I could be absorbed in. But I heard it was really important, so I kept checking it out every now and then. And the day came when it was time to read it,

[25:48]

and I read it, and I was absorbed in it. So when people are trying to study something and they tell me they're half-hearted, I say, what would you be wholehearted about? So let's go over and find something you're wholehearted about. And when you learn, again, get a feeling for wholeheartedness, and you wholeheartedly engage in something, and you check it out. Is there relaxation? Is there focus? Is there openness? And say the answer is yes. Say, well, what about this thing you weren't wholehearted about? Are you open to that? Yes. Want to look at it? Let's say yes. So you look at it, and you say, it's not time. I don't feel like it's time to do it. So you're open to that. But eventually, according to this theory,

[26:49]

you would eventually be able to wholeheartedly engage in anything, which means you'd be wholeheartedly able to engage with anybody, which means you'd be wholeheartedly able to live for the welfare of everybody. But not by forcing yourself to be interested in people you're not interested in, but rather relax with not being interested in some people. Relax with your disinterest. Become calm with your disinterestedness in some people. And in that disinterest with some people, if you can really relax with it and really be absorbed in that disinterestedness, when it shows up, you can start playing with it. And if you can play with it, you can be creative with disinterestedness. But you have to be wholeheartedly engaged

[27:50]

in the disinterestedness, not forcing yourself to be interested, but accepting that you're not. Because you're not. I mean, because you're not interested. You are disinterested. And you can be concentrated when disinterestedness shows up and when interest shows up. Again, if there's interest shows up and you get rigid about it, you're not going to concentrate and you're not going to be able to play. Another aspect of absorption, which is kind of surprising, is that it's kind of, well, one of the things about absorption is that when we're absorbed in something, we can accomplish great works. If we're concentrated, if we're focused, if we're absorbed in the welfare of all beings, we can accomplish the welfare of all beings. If we're absorbed in the wish to benefit all beings,

[28:54]

we will be relaxed with that, we'll play with that, we'll be creative with that, we'll understand that, we'll become free of that, we'll come free of trying to benefit all beings. And in becoming free of this devotion to benefiting all beings, which we're totally devoted and absorbed in, it will be accomplished. But along with these great works comes a kind of indolence or laziness. And the word indolence means, the root of it means, it's actually a Latin word, indolent. And it means, does anybody know what indolent means? It's similar, it would be indormant. Dolent is like Dolores, you know. In is not. It means not harming or not paining or not suffering. Along with accomplishing great works

[30:00]

in the state of concentration is a state of indolence, which is kind of like lazy. But it also means, not paining, not suffering. In other words, you're not giving yourself a hard time. However, not giving yourself a hard time depends on this practice of not giving yourself a hard time. With your great work, you're doing your great work and you're not giving yourself a hard time. You're really absorbed in the welfare of beings and you're not giving yourself a hard time. You're lazy. You're lazy doing this great work. But in order to do that, you have to give yourself a hard time before that. Based on this ability to be lazy in this huge project, you have to give yourself a hard time. Like what? You have to practice generosity. Before you know how to practice generosity, you have a hard time practicing generosity.

[31:02]

Before you know how to practice generosity, you've got stinginess. You don't give yourself a hard time about being stingy, you just have a hard time being generous when you're stingy. It's hard to be generous when you're stingy. But you give yourself that hard time. If you want to practice concentration, you have to practice generosity. And if you don't know how, you're going to have a hard time. You have to also practice ethics. And ethics are kind of hard. For most of us to get really good at them, it's kind of hard. It's kind of hard not to be possessive. It's kind of hard to tell the truth. Ethics is kind of hard. Until you're perfectly enlightened, ethics are a little bit hard. I think ethical discipline is kind of difficult. But if you take on ethical discipline and you're devoted to it, then you get to move on to patience. Patience isn't exactly easy. Patience is like when somebody slaps you in the face or when people hurt you and hate you.

[32:05]

That's not exactly easy to be patient with. It's kind of hard. When trouble comes, that's not easy. Plus being patient with it is kind of harder. It's easy to get angry when people are mean to you. It's not easy when people are being mean to you. It's kind of painful. So when people are being mean to you, in a way you're not being lazy when you feel that pain. And then to be patient with it is not easy either. But if you're patient with difficulties and insults and attacks, and you're ethical and you're generous, then you can relax. You can trust that it's okay to relax because you're having such a hard time. And you're willing to have a hard time for the welfare of all beings. And you also understand that you kind of have to do these practices in order to trust that it's okay to relax, it's okay to be open. You've already opened practically all the difficulties there are,

[33:07]

so now you can open the rest of the way. But again, usually I wouldn't think that being lazy and indolent go with accomplishing great tasks, but I'm suggesting that they do. And also being focused and kind of restless, not distracted, but restless. Like you're focusing on something and you just feel like your focus would be more relaxed, more soft, more open if you just go around and look at it from the other side. Again, I always think of Michelangelo. He's pounding on the front, or in fact he's pounding on David's butt. And he says, I think I'll go around and pound on his tummy now. I've had enough of this butt. I'm going to go up to his chest and I'm going to get his ear. So he's not just like, just drilling right through the chest to the back.

[34:09]

He does the front, and he's focused on the statue. Can you imagine that he was kind of focused on the statue when he did that sculpture for quite a while? But he was flexible, wonderfully flexible, magically, miraculously flexible while he's pounding away on this thing. And I would say also, he was lazy. Lazy? Yeah. This guy could afford to be lazy. This guy could afford to relax. He worked so hard he could relax. And he did relax. And he danced around that statue in pain. He was in pain. And he was patient with his pain. He was uncomfortable. And he was patient with his discomfort. He was working really hard.

[35:10]

But on another level, in his hard work, he was relaxed, he was indolent, he was flexible, and he was restless. He never rested in his focus. And he wasn't fixated. That wouldn't serve the art. Constantly moving up and down, up and down 16 feet or 17 feet of marble, all around, doing this great work, playing with it, creating with it, understanding what should be done, and achieving freedom in the midst. The bodhisattva wants to do the same thing, but the bodhisattva's marble is living beings, who are actually just about as difficult as a huge piece of marble.

[36:12]

They do the same thing. They're devoted to the art of making some beautiful relationship with every living being. So again, I think that what I'm saying to you is things that have surprised me, but I've come to this understanding of what concentration is. It's not exactly playful itself, it's just that it allows us to be playful. When you start being playful, you're moving into the next dimension of the practice, which is wisdom, starting to open to the wisdom, the creativeness, because wisdom is what works with creation. What opens to it, contemplates it, enters it. You could be concentrated, but not yet moving into the playfulness, but you're setting the stage for it. Also, you can practice giving quite thoroughly, ethics quite thoroughly,

[37:16]

and patience quite thoroughly, but not yet be relaxed and calm. You can still be a little tense, while you're pretty sincerely practicing the first three practices, which set up the trust of relaxation. Then when you're relaxed, you haven't yet started playing necessarily, but you're getting ready to play with whatever you're focused on. In this case, for bodhisattvas, to play with all living beings. And in the process of playing with them, create the situation in which they will join the play. Create the situation where they'll pick up how to practice concentration, where they'll pick up the practices of giving and ethics and patience, so they can dare to relax and play. And then when they're relaxing and playing together with us, then we move into the real creation, and that's where the healing understanding arises.

[38:17]

So again, this type of concentration is not an aggressive, controlling concentration. This kind of concentration doesn't have a plan to get concentrated. As a matter of fact, when we give up the plan to concentrate for the sake of concentration, we're concentrated. And there's another thing, we also say, sit in meditation or walk in meditation with no gaining idea. So we want to give ourselves to the practice without trying to get anything. We want to give ourselves to being relaxed and open and flexible and focused. We want to give ourselves to that without trying to get anything. And then the state will arise

[40:01]

without seeing it as a gain. You could see it as a gain, but that would be an example of a distraction. Shifting to another perspective doesn't have to be a distraction, but thinking of it as a gain is kind of a setback. It's not the end of the story because you can notice that and admit that and come back to practicing it from the point of view of giving yourself to the practice of meditation, giving yourself to the practice of concentration. I donate myself to the practice of concentration. Now, I donate myself to calming down without any plan about how to do it. One could go further on that and say, I give myself to the great bodhisattvas. I donate myself to their meditation practice. And if they want to support me, which I'm sure they do, I'm available.

[41:03]

If they want to help me be calm, I donate myself to be helped to be calm. Also, if I'm in this class, I donate myself for you to help me to be calm. And you come and donate yourself to this class so we can help you be calm. In this way, we help each other calm without any plan or gain to get anything out of this class or out of the practice of meditation. And this attitude is compatible with concentration. One more thing I want to say is in relationship to this, being kind of lazy when you're practicing concentration is like you're letting go of a purposeful thought. You're letting go of thought which is full of purpose. There is a place for thought that's full of purpose.

[42:04]

But this concentration time is not the time to have a thought full of purpose. It's time to have a thought which lets go of purpose. A thought which isn't full of purpose. Maybe a thought which is focused on purpose but not full of it. Again, focused on the welfare of all beings but not full of it. Relaxed with it. So those are some of the things I wanted to say about concentration or the context for playfulness and creativity. And I welcome your responses. Yes? Is your name Margareta? Margareta?

[43:08]

Is that your name? Yes, sweetheart. Pardon? Margareta. Excuse me, can I say it back to you? Did you say you have trouble trusting because it seems scary? Yes. I'm looking at the Tibetans' situation. They're trying to free themselves and they're trying to follow their religion. And they're being physically tortured. And I feel terrible for that. I'm sorry, but I heard you say the Tibetans are trying to be free. Yes. And? I think the Chinese are oppressing them.

[44:12]

So I see oppression here also in the United States. And I'm afraid that if you stand up for what you believe in... You're afraid that if you stand up for what you believe in you might be oppressed? Somebody might oppress you if you stood up for yourself? Yes. Do you have a question about that? I've heard... I think being willing to play without being attached to your thoughts, did you say? To your results. Being willing to play without being attached to your results. Not being attached to your results goes very well with being playful. Those go very well together. You can be playful without joking around.

[45:25]

And you can joke around without being playful. Some people are joking around but they're actually not too relaxed about that. So they're joking around but they're not focused. And they are not accomplishing great work. And they're not being patient. And they're not being ethical, careful. And they're not being generous. But they are joking around. Like my grandson, a while ago he started to joke around by saying kind of nasty things. One of the things he said was, one of his jokes was, you're disgusting. And then he'd say, just kidding. And I thought, you know, it's kind of easy to say something negative and think it's funny. Even though the other people don't think so.

[46:27]

It's a little harder to try to think of something positive as a joke. Like, you're handsome. Then you could say, just kidding. So maybe it wouldn't be so difficult. But anyway, I noticed that his early attempts at being funny were like by saying something negative. And then we'd tell him about that. Actually, I didn't think that was that funny. So, yeah, I think joking around can be playful. It can be. It's possible. But again, this joking around that's playful is based on ethics. My question really is, how can you play without joking around with other people? Well, for example, again, my grandson, I remember when he was little, I would watch him like he would pile up objects, you know, make piles of objects with his tiny little hands

[47:28]

and very carefully pile things up with great concentration. But he seemed like he was playing. Now, he would not probably have liked anybody to knock over what he piled up. He wasn't ready for that. But he seemed quite concentrated, and he was playing. But maybe you wouldn't say he was playing around. Maybe you'd say he was seriously playing with these things, making these constructions. But I think you can be playful. For example, if you're visiting somebody who you really love and who is in a lot of suffering and sickness, you can be playful with them, but you wouldn't exactly be joking around, necessarily. What would it look like? Well, it might look like you might be with them, and then you're patient with the pain you feel being with them, and you're careful, and you're very generous about giving your attention and presence to the situation

[48:29]

without any expectation. And then you're focused on their welfare, and you're focused on offering them something good. And you're also relaxed. And then you might say, Would you like some water? And that might be quite playful for you to say, Do you want some water? Or you might say, Would you like me to wash your back? But you might feel quite playful about that. And what does playful mean? It means coming from this relaxed place where you just feel like you're groping your way with the person. And then the next stage, you're interpersonally, so you want to actually find the way that person

[49:29]

who's maybe sick can play with you, so that they can say, No, thank you, or thank you. Maybe they say thank you, and then you have maybe some soap and some water and a washcloth, and you start playing with the washing thing. And you actually enter into this experience of the creativity of this washing activity. And then you, together, are doing this playfulness and finding creativity in that play. And then all your friends are still sick, and you still feel some pain over their sickness. You're starting to feel some understanding of what's going on here in this world, in this relationship. And some freedom right there in that understanding of this relationship. And joy. I want to say one more thing,

[50:30]

and that is, sometimes when we're with someone who's suffering a lot, it's hard for us to relax. But again, if we're being very careful, and we're being very patient with the pain we feel, being with them, our patience with our pain with being with them, we can relax being with someone who's suffering a lot. But let's say they can't relax. Let's just say that. But we can, and we can be careful, and we can be generous, and we can start to calm down with them. We're in pain with them, and they're in pain with us, but we calm down with them. And then we feel that place where there's some play, where there's some room to play with them. The other way around is, sometimes you go visit somebody. One second, okay? It happens the other way, that sometimes people go visit perhaps somebody who's good at playing, and good at concentrating, and they're the sick one.

[51:31]

So you go to them, and you're not able to relax with this person who you, maybe your teacher, right? Your concentration teacher you're going to visit, but your concentration teacher is sick. So you go visit her, and you're tense. You're tense. You're not comfortable with your pain of their suffering. So you're going there, and you're tense. You're not able to relax. You're not concentrated. And they, the sick one, teaches you. They show you that they're calm with their pain, and they're relaxed with their pain, and they're relaxed with you being uptight. And then you see that, and then you say, oh, I guess I can play with them even though they're really sick. You know? I remember one time I heard a story, somebody going to visit the Karmapa, before he died the last time. They went to visit him, and he was really sick with cancer. And they went to visit him, and the person went in,

[52:32]

and they just felt like he was ready to play. And I heard about this other guy, too, who was really sick, and somebody comes to visit him, and he says, hi, sweetheart, what's happening, man? It's like they're really, they're into it, even though they're, so the sick one, they're actually playing with their sickness, and they can invite you to play with them. And then it can happen either way, or it could sometimes be simultaneous. Both people going into some difficult situation, and both people suddenly are like, oh, you're doing this, too? Yeah, right. Wow. We're ready to play without any warm-up. Okay? Yes, John. And then, there. Great. Great. I think it had something to do with the idea of playfulness, you know, like questioning, or not knowing, just kind of entering into, like, you know, I don't have to know what's going on.

[53:33]

But kind of like accepting that you don't have to know what's going on, but you're going to open to not knowing what's going on, and you're still going to go forward. Right. Or still engage with not knowing. Yeah, I don't know what's going on. Let's say that's the situation. And I'm patient with that. I'm careful of that. I'm careful of it because sometimes when we don't know what's going on, we're kind of tempted to try to find out what's going on. Tell me what's going on. I can't stand this. So, we're careful of it. Are you with me? And then we're patient with it. And then we can tolerate not knowing what's going on. You know, am I right? Am I wrong? Maybe I'm right. Maybe I'm wrong. I only know I'm relaxed with you. So then you relax with that. You open to that. You're flexible with that. And then you can start playing with it.

[54:36]

And one of the ways to play with it is to ask questions, but not ask questions because you can't tolerate the unknowing, but ask questions as a way to play with it. And then again, that questioning goes very nicely into the creative phase. Questioning is the wisdom. When the playfulness starts, the wisdom starts. And the wisdom often starts with questioning, but not questioning to get the answer, not to gain something. Questioning in this non-gaining environment of relaxation and flexibility. And if you're flexible, you may just have a fountain of questions coming up. It may seem like, wow, this is really funny. I'm just inundated with questions. Where do they all come from? That can happen. Questioning yourself, not verbalizing the questions necessarily, but knowing what's going on. Do I, you know, just let you come in? As a way of settling in. Well, you could use questioning

[55:39]

as a way to settle in. Because the way of calming down, you do it, you ask the question not as a plan to get yourself concentrated, but sometimes the thing that gets you concentrated is something surprising, like what's going on might calm you. Or I don't know what's going on. Suddenly you might feel really calm. Having no contrivance doesn't mean that something doesn't happen which helps you calm down. It just means you're not trying to get yourself concentrated, but still asking a question or somebody asking you a question. Like, you might be doing something and somebody might say, what are you doing? And you might stop and say, yeah, what am I doing? And you just feel really calm all of a sudden. Just because that question, and you're receiving it and thinking about it, you just like drop a whole bunch of stuff which you're on a trip about. Vera? I have a friend and she's 98 and we visited with each other. I visited and sometimes now she talks about dying.

[56:43]

Well, she's always talked about how curious she is, even when she's not feeling well. In the past she said, oh, well, I'm still not curious about the world. I want to know what's going on. And I said, curiosity is a very good thing. So the last time she said something about dying, I said, you're too curious to die. You're not going to die because you're too curious. And she laughed and laughed and laughed. Did you laugh? Yes. Congratulations. Congratulations. I thought you were going to say you're too cute to die. But anyway. Somebody just told me today, or I think it was today, he said he went to see his mother who was in the hospital with cancer and she was close to death and she said, what are you doing here? He said, that's what people at Zen centers say all the time.

[57:47]

To themselves. What am I doing here? And that's something to say. And you can say that to people who are dying, when you come to visit, if they can ask you what you're doing here. And you can also ask them, what are you doing here? What are you doing in the hospital here? And they might tell you something pretty interesting. If that what are you doing here is coming from, like, I'm here with you and I don't know what's going on and I'm relaxed with you and I'm ready to play, what are you doing here? And I have no expectation that you'll think that was smart or helpful. I just happened to ask that question. And you might even say beforehand, can I ask you a question? And they might say, sure. And you say, what are you doing here? What are you doing here? Pardon? You're about to talk. Yes, you are.

[58:49]

And at some point, I was communicating. And I remember it was the most amazing time of my life. And I think I was so abstracted. I was so there. There was nowhere else I could be. I wanted to be. And while I was there, I was reading poetry, I was reading literature, and I was massaging his feet. I was engaged in all these different activities that were very meaningful to me. And I knew that that was a very special time for me and I remember it connected with a lot of why. And maybe it's a little bit of what you're talking about. It sounds like you were fully engaged. It sounds like you were focused. It sounds like you were flexible. It sounds like you...

[60:14]

I don't know what you... It didn't seem like you were trying to get much. There wasn't much to get. And it sounds like you were pretty relaxed, pretty concentrated, and pretty playful. And that you were starting to taste creativity and freedom under the circumstances of a sick father. But again, this is the bodhisattva's work, is being with sick people, which is kind of like everybody. Everybody's sick. Bodhisattvas, since other people are sick, bodhisattvas are sick. They're not healthier than other people. They're not sicker than other people. They're just sick. And they do these practices with their sickness. They practice these practices, which set them up to be able to relax and be serene and flexible and open with their sickness and other people's sickness,

[61:15]

and then be open to playing with their sickness and other people's sickness, and then be able to play with other people who are playing with their sickness and then enter this. And your father, when he's heavily sedated, still can play with you from that position. Just like a baby now. I have met this baby. My daughter has this baby who doesn't know how to be distracted yet and is totally concentrated on things like getting milk. So people are really playing with her. But it's maybe a little hard for them sometimes when she's screaming because she's hungry. It's a little hard for her mother to relax. I think her mother has no problem being generous, no problem being careful, but a little bit of problem being patient. That scream. Also my wife has a problem with being patient

[62:17]

with that baby scream. It's really hard to be present with that pain of the baby. The baby scream is one of the most painful things to be present with for certain people. Particularly, I think mothers are well-suited to really be challenged. It's very difficult not to be moved by that scream, that hunger scream. The anger scream is difficult too, but the hunger one, really. And especially when you know that's what it is and you don't have any milk, that's really tough. So I don't know how my daughter is doing with the patience department, but I'm sure she's doing well in the previous two. So I don't know how relaxed she is. There are certain advantages too that come along with that called, when you're nursing, you get a little hormonal assistance to the relaxation. Even if you're not a good meditator, those hormones that come with the milk

[63:17]

make it a little easier to relax when the baby's screaming. And then if you can relax, you can offer yourself with a reduced amount of murderous thoughts for this person who is doing this very painful thing. It's really nice to be able to take a break so you can relax and then again be willing to offer yourself. I think you got a good exercise in exactly what we're talking about with your father. Yes, Margareta? Pardon? Is it okay if she asks another question? He's not sure. So one person's not sure, but everybody else seems to be okay.

[64:18]

And he's not opposed to it. He doesn't know. He doesn't know. Go ahead, Margareta. Well, for example, like I said, Michelangelo. He's working on this statue. Or like me, studying Buddhism, right? Pardon? Oh, being distracted. Being distracted would be to try to get something out of the situation. That would be distraction. To try to get something out of life, for bodhisattva, that's a distraction. To try to gain something, that's a distraction. From what? From living for the welfare of others because the problem that people are having is they're trying to get something. Most people are distracted. Distracted from what? From being present with what's happening without trying to get something. Being distracted from being relaxed

[65:20]

and playful and creative. They're distracted from that. How do they get distracted? By trying to get something out of creation. Okay, I've got creation here. What can I get out of it? You just got off track a little bit there. Now, of course, this thought of what can I get has creatively arisen, but you didn't understand that so you got distracted from the creation. A miracle just arose and you didn't understand it because you weren't flexible and open and so on. So you got caught by it. So we get caught by stuff which is actually a miracle and we don't see it as a miracle because we're not relaxed. So if we force ourselves to study certain scriptures, we don't see that they're miracles right in our face. If we force ourselves to take care of babies, we miss the miracle. If we force ourselves to take care of our sick friends, we miss the miracle. If we relax with it, we see there's always a miracle in front of us

[66:23]

and part of the miraculous thing is we're participating. It isn't like there's the miracle and I'm over here. It's better than that. It's more miraculous than that. Maria. I was thinking to ask you about a political question. You're going to ask me a political question? Well, it could be interpreted that way. Okay. Before we interpret that way, ask it. I'm asking it. I was hearing today that the various occupational camps around the world are discussing what their next step is because they've been asked to apply to certain rules. There is this discussion. So is it time now that we should say something specific

[67:24]

that we demand or we're going to just continue this civil disobedience without particular demand? And I wondered what you... Yeah, I was exercising at the community center this afternoon and I saw that. They're going to start talking about what's the next step. I saw that too. So what's your question? Well, I wanted to check with you because up until that moment I felt like this was a kind of indication that these teachings that we hear here and here and try to practice are somehow manifesting in the wider society. Yeah, that's one way to see it. Because they weren't actually asking for something the way usually you do it.

[68:25]

It's a different mode of being. And in some ways that mode of being looks more like related to practice. And now should they cash in their chips? How do they preserve what? The ethos of the movement. You say the essence? Ethos. Or the ethos. The ethos of the movement, yeah. And that's similar to practice. Like you said, in meditation we sit and it's not the time for... You say for the so-called... Give it up. It might be there. Yeah.

[69:26]

Yeah, I think there's purposeful thought to set up this situation where you can let go of it. And then after you enter it and have understanding you can then re-enter purposeful thought again if you want. So I think just that... I feel that a lot of people who are participating in this process I feel that not just the so-called protesters but everybody that's interacted with them I think has seen something kind of enlightening. Something different. And I think that's really good. Where they go from here? I do not know. But what contact I've had with it I feel like it's very interesting. It's different from things I've seen before. And it has gotten a lot of attention to this 99% thing.

[70:34]

A lot of people are thinking about it. So that's really been good, I think. And the people who are bringing it to attention are... I think... For me it's easy to respect them and appreciate them. And I think maybe other people... Some other people who are not necessarily... I don't know what... Who are not necessarily open to this kind of comment have become more open to it, perhaps. Bill? Rather than making demands or asking somebody to just keep doing stuff until they make an offer and see if it's acceptable. You never know. People say, hey, that's enough. Maybe. Yeah. Yes. Let me show you something for the purpose of this. Okay.

[71:36]

I was up at the top right now in the evening. I was getting up in the morning. I've never seen anything like it. It was raining that day. And when I was there, there was a huge sign above. I don't know if you saw it or not. It was saying outer space. And I was thinking, are they claiming the space? But then I saw the tents flying in the air. So it was like they're claiming the air above the ground. It's very playful. All right. Are you from Scotland? Yes. Do you know Bernardes too? Yes. No. May our intention equally extend to every being and place with the true merit of Buddha's way.

[72:39]

Beings are numberless. I vow to save them. Delusions are inexhaustible. I vow to end them. Dharma gates are boundless. I vow to enter them. Buddha's ways are impossible. I vow to become it.

[73:14]

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