It's always great to be here at Berkley Sense Center. It always feels like coming home, even though when it was home, I was down on Dwight Way. I started sitting at Berkley Sense Center, and my ties here have remained close through the years, though I've been living at various places outside of Berkeley for the last 19 years at Tassajara City Center in Greenbelch. Still my roots in dharma practice are here with this sangha and many old friends who were here when I first began to sit. And I'm therefore enormously grateful to Suzuki and Mel who founded Zen Center, but BCC because I wouldn't have discovered, probably, the opportunity to sit if it hadn't been for that.

[01:21]

But for all of you who continue such a vital and lively practice here. and keep it available for others like myself who fortuitously happen to stumble on an opportunity to settle on our true self in this practice. And you may have noticed, I don't know how long each one of you has been practicing, but you may have noticed that this settling is an ongoing process. It isn't something that just happens and it's over. It's something that keeps happening and keeps happening.

[02:24]

and keeps getting more settled and deeper, or when you get into a turmoil, is a great refuge to bring you back to yourself when you've lost track of who you are. And the ceremony that we did today, you know, when my Jisha, Bob, came to pick me up, he said, And I usually carry a book as a kind of a moral support, whether I open it and read it or not. And usually, actually, I read a lot of something or another from some more profound teacher than I am. But this ceremony is really the major teaching for today, the ceremony that we just did. And some aspect of this ceremony and taking refuge is what I always talk about anyhow.

[03:27]

But when I mentioned it to Bob, he says, well, you know, it's what we always talk about, you know. But you know, what the wheel of the Dharma means is we just go around and around in circles. We all talk about the same thing. We all talk about being who you are. And that when we take refuge, what we're saying is, Be Buddha. I am willing to be fully and truly who I am. I'm willing to manifest the most beneficial possibility of this being, moment after moment. I remember when we first started doing this ceremony, when Tatsugami Roshi came to Tasahara, and my close friend Meg Geller was down there for that practice period and I wasn't.

[04:29]

She came up during the break and she said, oh the most wonderful thing has happened. This Japanese monk who's down there has taught us this ceremony and there's melody in it. Because mostly our services, you know, are a monotone chant. No decoration. Very simple. No distraction. But this ceremony has a little bit of melody. And she chanted it for us. A whole group of people from BCC were up in Tilden Park or some occasion. I can't remember now. Anyhow, she chanted it for us. It was very exciting. And I have always found it deeply moving. Somehow, the melody of the refuges reminds me of my roots, because I grew up in Alabama.

[05:40]

And I used to go to hear the gospel in the churches where it originates, where it lives, where it's alive. And so somehow there was the feeling of of gospel in the melody of the Refuges. And so we say, I take refuge in Buddha, immersing body and mind true mind. That brings up a lot for me.

[06:45]

Also, the next one is, I take refuge in Dharma. entering deeply the merciful ocean of Buddha's way, those two remind me so much of what Kadokiri Roshi is always talking about. Just throw yourself into the ocean of Buddha. Just throw yourself in, completely, wholeheartedly, nothing held back. And in fact, in the Japanese Namu Kie Butsu, which is, those of you who've done any sewing of Buddha's robe know, is the particular way of the Japanese version of taking refuge in Buddha. We chant with each stitch of sewing a robe like this. Namu kie butsu. This namu, we translate it, I take refuge in Buddha. This namu is a Sanskrit word.

[08:06]

One meaning it has is the same as the Hebrew amen. When I looked up amen in a dictionary it said, oh yes! a big affirmation in this Namo. We often translate it homage, to give homage to. You know, we begin, well, maybe let's just look at this ceremony a little bit instead of jumping to the refuges. It's taking refuges is a wonderful thing, and I generally kind of of orient toward it like a magnet. We begin with repentance, with confession and repentance. At Green Gulch we begin each morning service with confession and repentance and refuges.

[09:13]

And I love to start the day that way. When I looked up repentance, it says to amend or vow to amend one's actions out of deep regret for actions that have caused harm. is out of deep regret for those actions which have caused harm, we again and again vow to amend our actions to be more consonant with our deepest intention and with our inmost request. So this is the confession and repentance with which we begin this ceremony.

[10:27]

To examine how we live our life and vow again to return to how we deeply intend to live our life or what our inmost request is for how to live this life. And then the next thing is that we take homage, we essentially invite all of the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas and the whole lineage of teachers to be with us and participate in this ceremony today. And how do they do that? They manifest in us, through us, with us. You know, when we do jukai, or ordination, one of the things that happens is that we receive a document called a kechi myaku, the blood vein of Buddhadharma.

[11:46]

It has a red line that begins with an empty circle, goes through Buddha, goes through all the Buddhas before Buddha, then through all the ancestors of our lineage, through our present teacher and through us, and then this vein goes back up to emptiness and all of the teachers. The lifeblood of the Buddha and all the ancestors in this moment is right here in each of us who are making our day-to-day effort to live our life in accord with our innermost request. This is the lifeblood of the Buddha Dharma. It is each of us living according to our internal guidance connected with everyone and manifested here as this one.

[12:59]

So then after inviting all of the Buddhas and Ancestors and Bodhisattvas, all the aspects of ourself in these Bodhisattvas to be here with us, then we have the temerity to chant the Bodhisattva vow, this endless vow, this impossible vow, which comes from our deepest intention. Beings are numberless. I vow to save them. I vow to help them wake up to who they already are. delusions are inexhaustible. I vow, actually the word is to cut them. But they must be like all the flowers, you know, that cut and come again.

[14:11]

We cut them and then they come up again. But our vow is to continue to cut the inexhaustible delusions that come up in our life. in this very world of delusion to see the world of awakening. Dharma gates are boundless. I vow to enter them. The gates to the Dharma are everywhere and right in front of us. We enter at We can enter at any moment that we decide to. Buddha's way is unsurpassable. I vow to become it, to be one with it. Essentially, I vow to see that I'm already on it right where I am.

[15:15]

And then we take refuge, then we dive into the ocean of Buddha. As I was saying about this Namu Kye Butsu, so this Namu is to affirm, to pay homage, to be one with, or to be Buddha. And this kie, which we translate to take refuge, one of the meanings of kie is to plunge into or to throw yourself in without reservation, which is why I so much like to still, when I'm sewing, chant the refuge in Japanese rather than in English, because I love that wholehearted, undivided feeling of plunging into. that Kie means for me. So I plunge into the Buddha, the Dharma and the Sangha, the three jewels of Buddhism, the triple treasure, the great gift of Buddhism.

[16:37]

The teaching that we are already awake, that Buddha is this very life force that we all live. So this very awakeness we take refuge in. This very fundamental being of who we are we take refuge in. We return to we. See that we. oneness again and again. And the Dharma, the truth of all that is, we plunge into, just we plunge into the world of phenomena as it is. And the Sangha, this great body of beings who practice the Buddha Dharma, is our third great treasure to appreciate these treasures as treasures to appreciate this buddha being as it manifests this way is really important

[18:02]

To keep coming back to our innermost request, our deepest intention, and to keep confessing our actions which may have caused harm. To keep seeing the delusion that continually crops up. At the same time, to have confidence in our fundamental being. Suzuki Rush used to talk a lot about inmost request, asking us to attend to what is your inmost request. I find that my inmost request, although I could not ever put it exactly in words, has something to do with how I want to live this life or how I want to manifest this gift of life which I happen to be manifesting at the moment, how I would like to manifest it.

[19:31]

And the words that I use to describe it vary from time to time, but my inmost request always has to be how? How to do this? How to be this? What? So to always be open again and again to hearing your inmost request and be willing to be guided in your life by your inmost request. You know, we sing these refuges, it's really a song. And I'm often reminded of a great song which Mahalia Jackson sings. And I wish that I could sing that. I wish I had that great backup band that she has on the Columbia. And I... this is totally foolish of me to even attempt. And a Gringotts, I wouldn't expect it. I'll probably create her toot.

[20:37]

Which is so great. But... But... I'm gonna live the life I sing about in my song. I'm gonna do right and always shun the wrong. If I'm in a crowd, if I'm alone on the streets or in my home, I'm gonna live the life I sing about in my song. And that's what moves me over and over again is how to live in our everyday life what we sing about in our song. In each moment delusions come up everywhere and we find ourselves doing things and saying things that we suddenly notice, oh,

[21:49]

This isn't what I want to do, this isn't what I want to say. Practice is a lot about tuning into this inner guidance, so we catch ourselves before we've plunged into some activity, that later we say, I wish I hadn't done that. To be aware of our inner guidance, to become more and more in touch with it, so that we can actually live the life we sing about in our song. moment after moment, and day after day. The more the song goes something like, everyday, everywhere, on the busy thoroughfare, you know when you're driving down the freeway, how you drive, how you take care of the people around you, how you take care of your state of mind, Every day, everywhere, we are manifesting something.

[22:52]

How shall we manifest it? How shall we be truly who we are? This is our big practice. This is our big problem. This is why it's endless. Endless. It's not anything you can do. It just guides our life, this intention. to make this effort. This is why Suzuki Roshi says Zen practice is making our best effort in each moment forever. Forever. It doesn't ever end. There's never some accomplishment that we can say, well, that's it. I've done it. I can put it in my pocket and go home now. Always delusions come up. Always we make our best effort. Always we manifest best we can, this perfect being that we are. So I love this ceremony.

[24:01]

And we're actually talking about, I think traditionally, well actually in the earliest days, if you read the early suttas, apparently the Buddha recited the precepts on every quarter of the moon, so once a week. And then at some point I was reading, I can't remember what sutta I was reading now, but where he says, it's no longer appropriate for me to recite the precepts, you should recite the precepts, each of you for yourself. And for a long time it's been, in many Buddhist cultures, it's traditional to do it on the new moon and the full moon. And we're discussing over at Green Village, probably we're going to start doing it on the new moon and the full moon. Just because it's such a great revitalization to remember what it is we want to do.

[25:09]

keep returning to what it is we want to do in the midst of all of the distractions of our life. So please listen carefully to yourself, to your inmost request. Find out what is your song. What is your song? How does this being manifest in the world? One of the great things is that although we all are living the same life, the same life force is animating and vivifying all of us, each one of us expresses it differently. And each of us needs to appreciate completely our own song and find out how to sing our own song and how to live our own song.

[26:18]

To appreciate how the Buddha life is manifesting right here. Not to compare it with how it's manifesting over there. This is the one we can do perfectly And we can never know for sure how to do that one. We can just appreciate that one and say, wow, I like the way that one is singing their song. I love the way Mahalia sings her song. I wish I could do it. However, I have to sing my song. And you have to sing your song. being completely willing to be who you are. Does anybody have anything they want to talk about?

[27:32]

Any questions or discussions? Yes? Something about the difference between discernment and judgment. Right, right. What we're doing is trying to be aware of what's happening so that we're able to live the way we want to live. As I say, confession and repentance is not about judgment, but about regret or deep sorrow, actually is the word used in the dictionary. Some sorrow that we have that the way in which we have manifested is not as fully

[28:45]

our true self as we would hope it to be. And therefore I want to be more aware so that I can be more in tune with my innermost request. Having complete confidence in our innermost request and just noticing how difficult it is not to be misled by the delusions that arise. Confession is not condemnation. Confession is saying, it's actually taking responsibility for my actions. I did it, and I'm sorry. And I want to be more kind.

[29:48]

I want to be more compassionate. I want to be more in tune with what beings really need. When we say to save beings, we may have some idea of, I'm over here and there are beings over there. I'm a knight on a white horse and I'm going to charge in there and save them. I'm going to fix them up because there's something wrong with them. And that I don't think is the understanding of saving beings in the Buddhadharma. Because in fact, in the Buddhadharma what we know is that we are not separate from all beings. There's not somebody over here that's going to save some beings over there. That we share this beingness with everything. And Our great hope is to, although this beingness manifests in many diverse forms, our effort and our request is that we harmonize with all of those forms, that we live in peace and harmony with all of the diverse forms.

[31:02]

in which this beingness manifests itself. So, judgment is not... In judgment, one separates oneself from that of which we are aware, in some way. Whereas being aware is just being in the action of the moment and trying to pay attention and listen and be sure that it's harmonious with things as it is. This listening, the great quality of the Bodhisattva Avalokiteshvara, which means one who hears the cries of the world, this listening is It's the way in which compassion can enter the world, to listen carefully to our own song, to listen carefully to hear what others' songs are, what requests others are making of us, what true requests others are making of us.

[32:20]

Does that speak to you? Yes. I was trying to bring that up a little bit before. These are aspects, aspects of this being which we all share. These are aspects of ourself. I mean, the Buddhas are the awakening that we that we, over and over, make the effort to be one with and to manifest and express in our life. But, you know, when we say Manjushri Bodhisattva, we're talking about the wisdom aspect of ourself. In Buddhism, wisdom, you know, great wisdom, prajna, means the wisdom which sees the emptiness of all of these differences.

[33:26]

sees the emptiness of own being, of all phenomena. And Samantabhadra Bodhisattva. Samantabhadra means, in Sanskrit, universal good. Samantabhadra is sort of the activity of of wisdom and compassion. We call it in the meal chant, the shining practice Bodhisattva. You know, these incredible vows, these incredibly endless vows to pay homage to Buddhas, to invite the Buddhas, to teach in the world, to make offerings to Buddhas. But in the Avatamsaka Sutra, in terms that are so vast,

[34:35]

as to propose the sort of endlessness of the effort of practice and the totality of pouring our energy into practice. And Avalokiteshvara is the aspect of compassion, love, listening. hearing the cries of the world, listening carefully to all beings and to our own inmost request. And this taking refuge or paying homage to all the ancestors is You know, the way, as I said, the way that the Buddha Dharma manifests in the world is through each of us in our life of practice.

[35:36]

So again, maintaining the Buddha Dharma is through this whole lineage of teachers down to the present moment and us. This is the maintaining of the Buddha-dharma, which is represented by Namu, all the ancestors, I can't remember how we say the stream of ancestors, but anyhow, again, the succession of ancestors. To me, again, it brings me back to this bloodline, this blood vein, which connects us and which runs through us and is this continuous circle of practice.

[36:43]

Anybody else have anything? Yeah? What is Buddhist ocean? Is that right? The ocean of Buddha's way. This expresses to me the understanding that awakening is everywhere. It's like the vast ocean that covers everything. And when we plunge into this ocean, it's just returning to the source of our being. We manifest as this particular one, and we return to this ocean, and we manifest in this moment, and we return to the ocean, and we manifest and return to the source. So, to me, this ocean of Buddha is just the source of life, which all of us This life force which I... Kadagiri Roshi was always saying this expression which I love, to settle the self on the self and let the flower of your life force bloom.

[38:17]

This life force which blooms in each of us is nourished by this ocean of Buddha which we are manifesting in our daily life. And so we keep diving back in to be refreshed and to be able to manifest clearly who we are. Is that similar to Dharma Gates? Well, Dharma Gates, you know, this is saying there are 84,000 gates to the Dharma. Can't you find another one? Dharmagate just means where do you enter? And we enter in each moment into our deep life, into the depth of our life. So everything is a Dharmagate. Everything can be a Dharmagate. Everything can be an entry into the depth of your life so that it can be fully expressed into you. Bye.

[39:28]

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