Yeah, we're not quite over yet, finished yet, but I want to say how much I appreciate being here with you. And practicing with you. And that I feel the fruits of your practice during the year when I'm not here. Of course, that's the only way it makes sense. And the accumulated practice of you together also helps the supports that's conveyed to the newer people too. And this practice is something that has to be engaged if it's going to bear fruit.

[01:02]

And since I feel I'm, well, maybe explaining, it's a kind of explanation, it's a kind of explanation what I'm doing but more it's a presentation or showing or unfolding yeah and then your job is understanding Or folding it up. Folding it up and then during other times unfolding it. And those two go together. I mean, they can't... They can't be separated.

[02:22]

So I would like to know here how you've understood what I've said so far or some examples of it or if you have questions at this point before we end. Yes, please do. I wanted to add something about our group. And what we found, one thing was that the self is also carrying the sense of practice, starting to practice.

[03:48]

The intention. And that the self, so to speak, And also the self is what puts turning words into the stream of thoughts. and the self is also this hand that is put into the stream and what I notice is I notice it gets important to see the self as parts and I find it funny to imagine that the self So it's somehow funny to say the self is the hand that puts itself into the stream of thoughts because thoughts are the self too.

[05:00]

So the self is also carrying somehow this process of forgetting itself. and now I forgot it there was something else Yeah, well, every time I have to talk, I always forget things. Yes, wait a minute. Yesterday, before we entered the small groups, you also suggested we should examine more self and less self.

[06:03]

More selfness and less selfness. So for me this is a feeling or image like a weaving which can be denser or looser. And the experiences in that respect are quite exciting. Because there are days where this feeling of this weaving is more compact and dense. And when it stands like that, intention is not so easy to feel and it's not so easy to uphold in that we think.

[07:30]

So if you put it in a turning world and somehow space is opening up by that, it immediately closes again afterwards. And another day this opening up is done quite easily and there is more of this moment by moment experience and somehow this weaving feels like a work of art. And in that state it's for me difficult to understand how I could be residing in that boring stream of thoughts. And it's also the other way around.

[08:51]

If you're residing in this boring stream of thoughts, it's just impossible to imagine it otherwise. Yeah. Those kind of observations are necessary if we're going to practice them. These observations kind of appear out of the stream of being and thought and mind. And often it's just good to let them fold back in. And when I said that your job, you know, I try to present something, I unfold something, and if I said your job is understanding, but that's not accurate. Your job, to the extent that we're participants in this, is intention.

[09:54]

If you intend, if you hear the teaching and you intend it, then understanding may occur. But if you try to understand it now, you won't. Because this teaching is essentially hermeneutical. And I will explain what I mean by that in a moment, perhaps. You know, the When I first arrived Friday, I'd forgotten, because mostly in Europe now and the States, I don't do a Friday evening talk. Yeah, because usually they use it in Hanover and Boulder and Colorado and so forth as a public talk. I don't like to give a public talk as part of a seminar.

[11:17]

It's too difficult for me. But everybody who was at Friday evening was part of the seminar, so I said, okay, I'll give a talk if I have to. Yeah, I mean, I don't, obviously I do this all the time, so I can't say I don't like giving talks. But usually giving a talk for me is like sort of standing on, you know, the swimming pools which have three or four boards, maybe the third board and diving in and wondering if I'll get the water. Yeah, it has to be a little bit high.

[12:25]

But that night I was so tired, you know, I mean quite tired because I'd flown and then got on the night train and I was still on the night train and you were going by. Yeah, so I was just in a tunnel and I was just... something was appearing out of my speaking. And some people said that was pretty dense. They didn't say dark, but they could have. And today after, before lunch, what I said, some people said this was kind of dense. Yeah, so I think that for you, when I do do something like that, some people used to call it downloading.

[13:35]

I try not to do that anymore. But I wonder if you can pry some spaces in that downloading and density and have something to say. I think I'm unfolding, but I'm actually giving you lots of things very tightly folded. So anyway, I'm trying to find out how to do this all the time. Again, I'm so impressed by how our lay adept practices I'm going along, but I'm learning all the time.

[14:40]

So I'll try to say a few things, but if you have something to say, please do. I didn't understand much from what was said, but I understood some. So what I will take from the seminar is that the self is not an entity but a process. Self is localized in memory. It's a memory... Located in or localized, okay. Yeah. there is no underlying ground of something.

[15:59]

And I liked very much the idea of hypertext. And when I heard that, I thought maybe it's like that. Maybe the self is an uninterrupted process of thinking, of confirmation of a kind of thinking. And it's also a cultural accomplishment because it happens in exchange with others. And also in our group we talked about that, that self is not only in the individual, it can also be in a group, a family, a clan, or... So I came up with the idea, if it's not only so that more people are making babies in similar ways,

[17:16]

So what could be close to a similar mind or common mind could be a similar kind of material functioning but I wouldn't be so happy with the term material. So what we know from brain science, somehow like neutrons are firing and what else is happening? It's something material is happening. Yes, small electricity, small currents. And so this was the reason why I thought... So I thought this is the reason why this image of hypertext is a very good image.

[18:43]

Okay, thanks. Yes, Tara. Yes. So you asked me to ask this question again. I was wondering if you'd remember. And I almost don't remember it now. . so my question was where could I anchor myself if there isn't a ground of being an underlying ground of being and in the lecture you gave just before you spoke again about this ground of being

[19:49]

So you spoke about the underlying mind. So this also would be a possibility to anchor myself. And I ask myself, where is the difference? ... Difference between the underlying mind and the underlying ground of being. Okay. You always make it more difficult, Tara. That's wonderful. Okay. Well, oh. Or is it? Okay. Okay. Eric, were you waving?

[21:03]

I would like to say something. Yes, please, go ahead. I have the feeling that I understand most of the things that you say. So I think your lecture on Friday Dean was very beautiful. And your paints were very beautiful. Thanks. Should I translate into German? Yes. But what is not so important for me to understand, what you say, Aber es ist für mich nicht so wichtig zu verstehen, was du sagst. Because I think it's, for me it's not important to understand something, but I think it's more important for me to keep open questions, because why should I have any answers?

[22:12]

Es ist nicht so wichtig zu verstehen für mich, was wirklich wichtig ist, ist Fragen zu öffnen. Because this is not some kind of test like my lawyer is taking at school, in the sense of, did you get the right answer? But actually we are getting somehow answers. from you, with your presence and with the lineage you represent. We are getting some tools and the craft to live our life, to live my life. And this is very important for me. Yeah, okay, thank you. What I would like, in relation to what Aoife said, you to take away from this is the sense is to

[23:14]

Replace the word self for yourself with what is the essence of being human or the core of being human. Being alive. Then to notice how you experience, as I've said, continuity and unity. Now continuity we made pretty clear. And I didn't really make unity so clear. But we have an experience that we can focus on something. Aber wir haben die Erfahrung, dass wir uns auf etwas fokussieren können. We can intend something. We can intend something.

[24:37]

And that intention requires a sense of unity or purpose or integration. Und diese Fokussierung, die braucht einen Sinn für... That to have an intention requires a sense of unity or integration or something like that. So what I've been trying to bring up in the end in this seminar is what is our experience of unity and continuity? of these two kinds of connectedness. And I think if we can somehow use the terms, use the ideas, use the concepts to bring a certain noticing to this, It will, you know, bear fruit in your mental and physical moment-by-moment activity.

[25:43]

Yeah. And yeah, so not to use, try not... Yeah, like Krista said, it's the self which puts the hand into the water. But let's question that. When you're hungry, is it the self that eats? Sometimes you don't, I mean, if you're fasting, it may be the self that keeps you from eating.

[26:52]

But if you're really hungry or really thirsty, I don't know if the self is drinking, you're just, the body is drinking. So try to notice when the just happening, or when self is involved. And related to this is what Tara brought up for us. Is the observing I, the observing mind, is self? No, I would say definitely it is not. However, if this bell is observed, and you know, there's nothing special about, I mean, magical that we can observe, But given that we can observe, there's nothing special about that we can observe observing.

[28:17]

Because if I have the capacity to observe this bell, then I have the capacity to observe myself observing the bell, or to observe the observing of the bell. Now, do we call the observing of the bell self? I would say no. If I drink water, is it the self-drinking water? No. It's something else, you know. However, if the observing mind says, ah, this is mine, When that action occurs, the observing mind turns into self. Okay, so I throw that out for you to notice. Okay. All right. So, Because we often have the experience, this is mine, this is what I am, this is me.

[29:43]

Now, as most of you know, there's a famous Buddhist statement. This is not I, this is not mine. Das gehört nicht mir. This is not what I am. Das ist nicht was ich bin. This is not me. Das bin nicht ich. No, you can practice all that. It's quite interesting. Ihr könnt damit üben. Das ist recht interessant. On every point moment. In jedem Punktmoment. Or every appearance. Oder mit jeder Erscheinung. You say this is not mine. It's interdependent, blah, blah, blah. This is not what I am. This is not me. Then sometimes reverse it. This is what I am. I love this bell. This is me. Yeah, et cetera. And you can see how true that is.

[30:55]

Sometimes that's true. And notice when you feel that way. So you can reverse it and you can go back and forth and see does either cover the territory of your experience. Neither does fully, I'm sure. But we have a habit of exercising observing mind as a way of defining self. We use the observing mind to define what's mine and what's not mine and what I'm supposed to do and what my anticipated future is, etc., And these are moments of consciousness. And they stand out, they're vivid, they're in highlighted text.

[32:00]

So it's what we notice and what we remember. And so we begin to just accept that observing mind is I, is me, is self. And the problem is we've had developed a habit of using observing mind to define self, so then we think it is self. Yeah, so you can change your habits. Now, this teaching is hermeneutical. And why I use the term.

[33:15]

And I'm using it to mean it's not it's meaning and understanding is not on the surface. We can say it requires a fourfold engagement. You have to encounter it. You have to approach it with intention. Then you have to engage yourself in it. You have to practice it. You have to... Make use of it in yourself. Du musst es üben und du musst es in dir selbst benutzen. You have to reform yourself in relationship to it.

[34:16]

Du musst dich selber neu formen in Beziehung dazu. You have to engage yourself. This language requires me to say that. Und du musst dich selbst einbringen. Selbst, muss ich hier sagen. That habit of language is very powerful. So you have to engage yourself in it. That's the second engagement. Then you have to reformulate or reinterpret the world in terms of the teaching. You have to engage the world with this understanding. And fourth, you have to engage others And only with this fourfold engagement does the teaching really begin to become clear and unfold.

[35:17]

That's why our small groups and our discussion and our doing this face to face is part of this fourfold engagement. Engaging with others. Without this kind of engagement you cannot understand the teaching. That makes sense to you? So I use the word hermeneutical because it's the only word I have to mean something like this. Sounds better in German, hermeneutisch. I'm going to show off every now and then and say hermeneutisch. I mean, I can show off in Germany, but I can show off in Boulder. Okay, in relationship to this sense of this fact that I'm presenting as a fact,

[36:31]

that the observing mind is not self. But we train it to be seen as self, experienced as self. Now, in relationship to that, I want to say, and I think we spoke about this here last year, that attention is not consciousness. And you should not conflate the two. And if you conflate it, it really lessens the power, your power of your... your mindful attention.

[37:46]

So, now, let me try to say, though I've said it before, I think here you may remember, maybe I'm wrong, maybe I didn't say it, but only recently I just, I took on the task of trying to point it out. Okay, so I am, you know, let's say that we could call what I'm doing right now is unconscious of this room. And I'm conscious of each of you separately and conscious of all of you together. And I'm conscious of relationships among you. So let's call that something like consciousness, which we are all participating in something like that. Now, in the midst of that, I can direct consciousness to my breath and speaking.

[38:56]

Or I can direct consciousness to Gerhard. Yeah, or one of you, Myokin Roshi, can maybe bring my consciousness to him. My attention I mean. I can direct attention at you. So within consciousness attention can be like a little beam. No, so then we could just say that Attention is a wave in the water of consciousness. Or in other words, attention is just a function of consciousness. Yeah, I think that we can say that. It's like when attention is part of consciousness, it joins the family.

[40:00]

What if I watch again my daughter? Attention has been, I would say, the main instrument that's generated her consciousness. I would say she had attention before she had a developed consciousness. And that attention moving around and noticing things pretty soon began to create a kind of She could hold a field of conscious objects. But then is attention only the parent of consciousness?

[41:00]

Forced attention also or only the child of consciousness? Because probably, in my experience, the more consciousness is developed, the more attention develops. And although there are various yogic exercises, practices with consciousness, The one I'm emphasizing is most important for us is this particularity field. And such things, such habits of particularity field changes how consciousness functions.

[42:22]

And develops also attention in a new way. So doing something like this, you know, there's a lot of plasticity or something like that to this. Then you could say, is the self deciding to do this? Well, intention is a participant. And if you do it, I'm a participant and you're doing it. And Suzuki Roshi was a participant in my doing it. And although I wouldn't have done it if I hadn't been doing this, if I hadn't known Suzuki Roshi.

[43:23]

All the experiences I've had for the last 50 years or so since meeting him are participants in my doing it. And intention has many sources. In a simplistic way I can say self is important. But if I wasn't so hungry and thirsty for a world that I could compute Intention would have done something else. So because I was thirsty, intention decided you better get some Buddhist water. Okay. Now, So attention is somehow a dynamic which generates consciousness and results from consciousness.

[44:50]

Anyway, let's not go any further. But is attention limited to consciousness? Well, at least what we can call consciousness with any reasonable again usefulness of the word unless you use it to cover everything that's mind. Okay, so when you go to sleep, if you want to, As I said, you can try to sneak attention over the boundary into sleeping. Then you can do that. But in the same basic kind of process hypnotists use. So if you can be... Sleeping is not consciousness. But you can have attention in sleeping.

[46:09]

And sometimes you can remember how attention functions in a dream. Yeah, and sometimes in a lucid dream you can say, hey, you can have a feeling I'd like to remember some of this dream. So then you notice a tension. And then you try to get a little rope from attention to consciousness. And you try to pull a little consciousness into the dream. Remember this. Or you look at the dream and you say, okay, now I'm going to expand this light in the dream to consciousness. Don't you all do this? And then you remember.

[47:11]

So that's attention functioning, but it's functioning in territories that aren't usually called conscious. And in meditation you have to discover non-interfering observing mind. A subtle kind of attention which does not call up consciousness because if it calls up consciousness, samadhi disappears. So you can have samadhi attention which is not conscious attention. Don't you think that's a good place to start? I always think of the mark of Zorro. I've always liked Zs.

[48:25]

Not sleeping Z, [...] but Zen, Zorro. Zen Tatsu, yeah. And when I used to watch the serials as a kid in the movies, Zorro was always about going over a cliff on a horse, and then it'd say, part three. So here we've got Zorro on a horse called somatic intent. Marie-Louise has gotten very interested. She likes to ride. Which is like turning yourself over to something else. And she... There's a guy in town who's a... She didn't know who he was. He's very mysterious. This is just an anecdote. Yeah. And... And... He lives on his horse.

[49:49]

Yeah, and he found God, too. Yeah, and I've talked to them, and he has a dog. I said, you found God, your horse, and a dog. Yeah, and he's dog and God are spelled backwards, you know. And he's a former movie stuntman. And he's broken his back three times and he's had his kidney liver replaced three times. And after the third liver transplant, he thought, I need God, and that's who he found. Really, have any of you seen the movie Posidian Adventure or something like that? A disaster movie where a ship turns over in the sea?

[50:53]

He's the guy in it, when it turns upside down, he's hanging onto a table and falls through the skylight of the ship. And there's another movie called Man from Snowy Mountain or something, where the guy goes down a real steep cliff. That's this guy. So Marie-Louise likes an adventure. And she finished designing the house and turned it over and here was this guy he'd appear and then he'd disappear between houses and up the mountain and stuff. He's got a completely broken straw, dirty hat and long hair. And he's got a horse called a Tennessee Walker. Which doesn't go like this, it goes like this.

[52:17]

And it walks differently. And so it slides through the space. Anyway, so she chatted him up in the... post office and said, you're one of the most mysterious guys in town, can I go riding with you? And he said, well, forgive me a call. So she called several times, and finally now they've ridden several times in the last couple of months, once a week or more. So from the local stables, Marie-Louise has a horse called Cloud. which is completely excited, she says, to go out with this guy, because Cloud gets to do something, and so just go around in the circles.

[53:29]

And one day he said to her, I'd like to go down this... sand mountain that's over there. Do you mind? So he rides up to the top of this thing and then just... And Marie-Louise wasn't sure that her horse could do it, so she said, can I try it on your horse? So she got up there and she says, whoa, it's like me in a three-story building and it's, you know, straight down. And so she said, all you do is you lean back on the horse and say, go. Go. Now does the self do this or the horse?

[54:31]

She just let the horse do it. And you can let practice do it. Sometimes. Anyway, she... has been wearing this kind of lady's protected helmet. And someone said to her, you know, probably with him, with Michael, I'd have a cowboy hat. So she said to Michael, I was told if I'm riding with you, I'd better have a cowboy hat, not this helmet. And he said, well, if you're with your daughter, the helmet's all right, but with me, a cowboy, a wrangler's hat would be better. A wrangler, by the way, I found out, is not a cowboy.

[55:32]

A cowboy takes care of the cows. A wrangler takes care of the horses. I don't know why I told you that, but it was fun. And he's quite nice, you know. He calls me up. He calls up and I answer the phone. He says, I have a date with your wife. Okay. Thanks.

[56:21]

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