I either find words for or make the words express what I feel. But it's fruitful for me to try and trick me to try with you, so I will try. Und es ist aber fruchtbar für mich, es zu versuchen, und besonders es mit euch zu versuchen, und so werde ich es tun. And we could ask, how did we get to this situation, this relationship of awareness and consciousness? Und wir könnten uns fragen, wie sind wir hierher gelagert, in diese Situation von Gewahrsein und Gewusstsein? You could ask, why aren't they more in balance? Why do we have to practice? Well, I think that my own feeling about it, and I can prove, is that consciousness, as I said earlier, the survival mode,

[01:06]

Without consciousness, it's pretty hard to survive in the world. And I think that what we've done, particularly over generations here at West, Probably all over the world in urbanized societies. We hooked our energy and competition, success, most of our to a survival mode. ist, dass wir unsere Identität und Konkurrenz und Erfolg, dass wir das in so einen Überlebensmodus eingehakt haben.

[02:21]

You're brought up, usually from childhood, you have to know how to survive, you have to be successful, you have to have a good education, you have to be a master of information and so on. And that's, yeah, that's really survival mode. And our whole educational system is based on this what I sometimes call borrowed consciousness. Borrowed from others. I give an example of to know your birth date. It's not something you can find out from inside yourself.

[03:24]

You have to be told by someone else. So we're always measuring ourselves in this borrowed dimension or societal dimension of consciousness. And whenever my children were My two older daughters are growing up. And they noticed the power of information knowing a lot of things. Or thinking in terms of being successful or I'm going to be famous, I don't know. I always try to counteract that. I remember my little

[04:26]

grandson, he was at this place in Portugal near the ocean, but also by a swimming pool. And my daughter, his mother, would not let him go swimming. And he said, He was about three. He said, when you grow up, have notion. So somehow, our society has hooked most of our identity and knowing into this survival mode consciousness. Und unsere Gesellschaft hat eben uns eingehakt in diesen Überlebensmodus.

[05:52]

There's more we can say, but it's no question that culture can't teach more awareness. Und wir könnten mehr sagen, aber es ist möglich, dass eine Kultur mehr Gewahrsein lehrt. So, we can say that bosom is an insurgency within Western culture, teaching awareness. Insurgency. How are people going against the direction of the society? Now, maybe society saw the word referee there. That's just some information. Das ist einfach eine Information. And it's something that I was very happy in the 60s to find that this man named Benjamin Libid, L-E-B-I-D. Und ich war sehr froh zu festzustellen in den 60er Jahren, dass es da einen Benjamin Libid gab, der auch in San Francisco arbeitete.

[07:06]

confirmed what I was noticing from meditation and mindfulness practice. That consciousness is tardy, late. And it's something I'd actually noticed in practice and as part of teaching Suzuki Roshi, so it wasn't remarkable that I noticed it. But this man, Benjamin Libet, she showed it in scientific terms. That if you have the brain body kept up with wires, The body is planning to move the arm. About 500 milliseconds before consciousness has the information delivered to it.

[08:09]

But in neuronal and molecular time, it's vast length of time. So The consciousness, in that sense, is really a kind of referee. But basically, something has already decided the arm should move. We had the experience as conscious. Because we experience the refereeing part, but not the initial decision to move.

[09:32]

So if something is deciding before consciousness, is that a who or what or a self? It's certainly related to your experience, your accumulated experience. But is that accumulated experience a self? Does it make any sense to call it a self? So how can we get under what I call our conscious-dominated body? Yeah. I copied out for the last seminar some statements of Yuan Wu.

[10:54]

And I did a crank it up. I'll put them up here and look at it. And Yuan Wu lived in China in the 11th century. Compiler of the . central book of all of Zen Buddha pretty much, if I believe that record. I think I mentioned him last year. So if there's an authority in Zen, he's an authority. He says, observing the reality of physical existence, And he means by observing there, finding yourself in tune with each, whatever it is, each situation.

[12:04]

A little bit like the drops of the Sencha tea ceremony. Do you find yourself tuned to a different station in each situation? Or do you generalize and keep the same tuning all day? He says, when you have this tune. This is the same as observing the Buddha. Then worldly phenomena and Buddha Dharma are fused into a singular whole.

[13:19]

Buddhadharma means that realization and the observer and how things actually exist are one. The observer, and dharma means how things actually exist, are fused into a singular whole, and then it's migratory, actually, and all at once. Then you'll be completely free and at ease. As you eat food and put on clothes. This is great potential and great function. So great potential and great function, we can understand the mean as simply as letting that which acts before consciousness referees.

[14:31]

Letting act. Letting act. what acts before the consciousness is the referee. And perhaps we most can notice that in simple things like putting on your clothes. Vielleicht können wir das am einfachsten bemerken in einfachen Dingen, wie zum Beispiel Kleider anzuziehen und essen. I try to make as much as possible no decisions during the day. Ich versuche so viel wie möglich keine Entscheidungen zu treffen während des Tages. I put on my hands fine. Ich ziehe die Kleider an, welche auch immer meine Hände finden.

[15:33]

I try to do things I just tried to let things happen without deciding, well, I should wash my face now or something like that. And it is a kind of tune. And at first, I found a very small area of work. But as I've gotten used to over decades, actually, spending, thinking, I find that more and more of my actions and thinking can arise before thinking. So must there be a reason that things just happen? If you say you're making no decision and you let it happen, what is happening?

[16:58]

I have pictures coming up, like what you said last year, that in a monastery. So that the rooms are made with different kinds of wood so that we have different smells coming. And I see a lot of concentrated intention behind that. So there are two different things. On the one hand, it's kind of concentrated intention. On the other hand, you're saying that you're not trying to make and a decision and uh don't you don't take you don't tell you while you're looking Well, I don't know what it would be when I tell you.

[18:24]

I find that I could do much of my life in the dark. I think I'm in the dark. Yes, well, yeah, I think we're all in the dark. I'm currently waiting for the trip. And I'm surprised at myself, [...] at myself. During the night, . No attack, people.

[19:24]

No attack. I would have loved that. My operation, my operation, my turn. But I had to. The skills, the skill, the free time, the free time. And that is the way that I live. And that is the way that I live. And that is the way that I live. And often I buy, often I buy me my, [...] I told you, I think I noticed when I was sourcing, I saw where papers come from.

[20:39]

I was looking at a book. Somebody, somebody, don't close it, don't close it, thank you. And the publisher came out with some dark papers that had 65, 67, 67, 65, 67, 68 papers. And there were graphs, additional, additional. So I started out, I mean, I know what you want, work, work. I put my hand like this, and then cut the grass.

[21:46]

Yeah, yeah. So, after the fourth or fifth one, after the fifth one, someone do something new. How many pages? How many pages? Who's that text? Who's that text? Russian. Russian. I think I add pages to the pages. And from a scientific point of view, how would it care if I just didn't touch it? That would help. What do I think? What do I think? So I assume, I assume that my phone was aging away.

[22:49]

That's so many, so many years. But that gave me a, that gave me a scientific, scientific mention. Well, As soon as I looked, as soon as I looked, you were, [...] Something new. Something [...] new.

[23:49]

Something new. Something new. Something new. That's right. [...] So, of course, no, of course, here again, here again, I'm sorry, [...] I'm sorry. Now, the building .

[24:51]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. [...] Builders. [...] There are many decisions in the Japanese traditional art.

[26:05]

It can be made in context of the building facility. Once you have these things, once you have this more, this more, this monumental impact. You see, in this movie, which I've only seen part of, it's just last scene, last scene. Which conceptually, conceptually, is very stupid. But underneath, underneath, there's some sort of... Very, very often... But anyway, I built two chairs.

[27:09]

He's pulling rocks, pulling rocks. ...putting rocks at the edge of the foundation of the foundation. They were sips. Stands up. Stands up. And he has stones, [...] And it made a difference, which rocked him. But he accepted whatever rocked him. There was a line about him. Eight cents to eight [...] cents.

[28:41]

And I just watched the guy realize that whatever rock he gave to the citizen, he didn't just put... So he realized, [...] First person, first person. Maybe that's something like .

[29:56]

Now, You know, I woke up in the middle of the night last night. So, you know, I was, you know, a few times a year, a few times a year. And you might, you know, fight with no sort of way. And I was there for three hours. And you would think, or I might think, or I might think, what I have usually been doing is usually I just would bring myself and go to sleep. What did I do? I must have been doing my stops. I hope you're not asleep.

[31:10]

I hope you're not asleep. But why can't I just exercise this? So I after, so I after, uh, five, an hour, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, So here I'm speaking. Here I'm speaking. I don't know a word. [...] Yeah. Yeah. And so I decide since I don't know. And not try, not try, so, [...] so.

[32:26]

for one of the things the one that came up came up several fingers things together together that kind of kind of Caught me, too. Caught me, too. You wait. You wait. I'm sorry. [...] And they're going to turn it forward.

[33:50]

And they're going to turn it forward. People mortgaged their house, sold their property, mortgaged their personal house, and so forth, and so forth. I know that's it. [...] Sorry.

[35:02]

Sorry. And I had to know that in certain situations that I asked myself, I thought it was funny and it helped me. And this is sort of an expectation. I will. [...] Yeah.

[36:07]

I've been very free. I've been very free. I've only had two. I've only had a chasing attack. I've been very free. So anyway, so anyway, that is one of that several things that were keeping me away, keeping me away. Is this fair? Is this fair? Is this responsible? Is this fair? But another thing is, What am I telling you?

[37:24]

What am I saying? [...] Clear about what? Clear about what? And I'm quite sure, I'm quite sure. But it's clear that I'm sure. I'm sure. They're in a context. Context. [...]

[38:25]

It's how I felt. It's how I felt. You know. But what I'd like to say is I hope you see this as meditation. Meditation, meditation, [...] That's it, I saw.

[39:51]

That's it, I saw. That's it, I saw. reflect into the transparency of your religion. And I think they'll be most good. And if they're true, and if you'll find out, you'll find out. If you're true, you. So I have that, so I have that, yeah. Now, that's also a story of the way we are thinking about how I think this holiness works. Now, and... Not knowing is the nearest way to bring enfoldedness to unfold.

[41:04]

To let not know not to know not to not know not know. And I think, you know, I think, you know, I think that the attitude toward dreams is so different in my experience than traditional way of looking at it, and kind of the kind of way of looking at it. I would say that dreams Sometimes don't, sometimes don't speak to them.

[42:16]

Because they're not speaking. They're speaking, speaking to the not knowing ones. Yeah, yeah. The dreams have, dreams have a mutual inter, or inter-ability speaks of that, to that in us, in with us, which is simple. We have to let the images speak to him. And this, you know, the idea, you know, the idea that And the idea that the aliens are going around and around astrology, astrology, doing an experiment might not work.

[43:16]

And the idea that the aliens are going around and around astrology, astrology, might not work. And our old mythology is itself as a feminist creed. It's, uh, it's, [...] uh, I'm an old man.

[44:22]

I'm four men. Presentation. Presentation. Which building? My God. My God. No, I'm not talking about that. [...] No, I said I would speak about emptiness. And it's a, and it's a, we're eating at one, we're eating at one, right? So do we need to stretch or something like that, something like that? Yeah, it'll stand up, it'll stand up. Vielleicht stehen wir auch und machen eine Pause.

[45:22]

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