Beyond Calmness of Mind

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BZ-02575
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all of the different aspects of our practice and so a text this ah for this year we're using suzuki roshi spoke not always so
and i strongly recommend
while no household should be without a copy you know itself please get one we're also going to make the texts available for the classes and so all of the all of the yeah the saturday and monday talks and the and the thursday classes will will all
draw from chapters of this
these ah
the chapters are all edited from particular talks that were given by suzuki roshi they reached the gym might beginner's mind was drawn from talks that were given down the peninsula
when they were they were beginning talks and these were suzuki roshi is her more kind of the the breadth of his of his dharma teaching that were drawn on a from lectures had san francisco zen center and at tassajara ah
and so they they open out in a number of different ways
so i thought i would started the beginning of the book ah will the chapter that's called calmness of mind
and i will you a little from the beginning of that
and then i want you are
share a little context with you
so he talks about she can cause which is our core practice if just sitting
he says she can't ah sir howard zazen is just to be ourselves
when we do not expect anything we can be ourselves
that is our way to live fully in each moment of time and this practice continues forever
we say each moment but in your actual practice a moment is too long
because in that moment your mind is already involved in following the breath so we say even in a snap of your fingers there are millions of instance of time
this way we can emphasize that feeling of existing in each instant of time
then your mind is very quiet
so that's the introduction
i went digging around as i'd like to do and i've found the her original text that he drew this talk from ah and i really
i recommend it it's it's really interesting to breed suzuki roshi is a original texts or their little raw but you see a flavour of his expression ah that is maybe a little less refined than than in the books ah which
this these lectures were not always so was they were primarily edited by by ed brown and then gone over very carefully ah with by surgeon before they were published
hum
but what i when i found the lecture which was given on june seventh of nineteen seventy one it was the second day of session at san francisco zen center
and
there's a whole lot of stuff in this lecture that's not in the book had it's very interesting to see both what is and what isn't how skillfully it was edited and also
what else we might want to look at as context so
part of the context was this was suzuki russia's first session back after having a gallbladder surgery in march of that year
he had a very painful
ah experienced attack of a gallbladder attack and he ah when he was travelling in oregon and shortly after he got back he had surgery and they removed his gallbladder
and at that time they discovered that it was cancers
ah and
they said the doctors this is all i looked as up in it's not in the stock i went back to a
a crooked cucumber
david chadwick spoken key
he document stuff in such wonderful detail ah
so
the doctors thought that they had got everything that they had clean margins and ah but suzuki roshi ah you know you should have if that were so he should have bounced back
but he wasn't really bouncing back
ha and he but he was trying and he gathered his straits ah and led the session and as these were his first talks and then just too
skip forward to the end he died ah
the first week of the first he died the first period of raw hot to sixteen that year december ah while all the students were sitting downstairs gathered for the first period of rochester machine that's that's when
he passed away so wasn't very long was this is about six months before hand
you'll see that there's a there's a context ah in part of the context i think is that
on a conscious or on a physiological level
he had some sense perhaps that he was dying
and as you go through this talk you know there's a there's a key line in this in this talk ha
he says to take care of the exhalation there's an emphasis on in this com is mind on exhaling
i'm letting go he said to take care of this exhalation is very important
to die is more important than trying to be alive
so i think that
his mind just again either consciously or unconsciously was drawn in that direction although it's not so this is this is actually at the heart of our practice
our practice is
learning to live and learning to die
and i must say that that my state of mind is ha
been really shaped the last few months by losses losses in and around sanga losses in and around my life and and people who are very very seriously ill
and even though
ah i've been trying to exhale for a long time i feel like
freshly drawn to that
and some of us in his room are getting older oh maybe all of you are getting the old target
you know i mean it's we had a wonderful occasion last last saturday to celebrate fifty years of this practice and to have people including our teacher who have been in this precise practice from building to building over
fifty years that's a long time
and so there's a richness in our life
hey it's also balanced by her letting go
i've been reading dogan lately ah a couple of short fascicles ah that touch on this one is called genki which is total dynamic working
ah and the other which is often paired with it is show which is translated as birth and death or life and death
and you know in these fast goals
ha
dogan says in in each of them he says
life is a moment complete itself
fully functioning the whole universe is functioning
him if you like has we inhale
and he says death is a moment complete itself
it's fully functioning are dying is his expression of the full functioning
of
the buddha verse
so the context that he goes he goes on here he says so he talks about a moment too long we know this as we sit thousand you know what we're doing this today it's like
you say moment by moment but you know in
in your inhalation or in your exhalation
ah
in that space of time which you might call a moment
whole world can unfold
you can go a million miles away you can go fifty years into the past
and you can come back before the end of that
half of breath
ah so that's why he says the even in a snap of your finger they are a million instance of time
and we can notice
they said we can emphasize that feeling of existing in each instance of time so we can quietly look at what is arising
and then return to that activity
return in this case he he suggests he would do to exhalation
hum
says so for a period of time each day tried to sit in chicken taza
without moving
without expecting anything
as if you are in your last moment
ha without expecting anything
i
means to be receptive to everything
that is coming in through your senses through your mind
as if you were in your last moment
but you know you you are in every moment
moment after moment you feel your last instant in each innovation and eat each exhalation there are countless instance of time your intention is to live in each instant
ha
so he says like to do this he says first practice smoothly exhaling than in healing
so let's have actually
just your posture said up
and take a relatively deep breath in
and then exhale as long as smoothly as he can
try that
he take a couple of breaths like that
just a long smooth exhalation
and if you can notice the place where at the end of that exhalation you turn around and you in here
when i find when i exhale like that
my mind what he says is ah
if a if you exhale smoothly without even trying to exhale you're entering into complete perfect calmness of mind and i find it very true if i'm if i'm actually attending to that excellent watching it without doing anything to it ah my mind is required
ha
and he says when you exhale this way naturally your inhalation will start from there
and all that fresh blood bringing everything from outside will pervade your body you're completely refreshed as you breathe in then you start to exhale to extend that fresh feeling into emptiness
the moment after moment without trying to do anything you continue she can taza
one thing i would suggest has were sitting today is that harm
try starting each period of zazen like that
just take some bread some relatively deep breaths in and just long slow
natural exhalations
and follow that stream of breath and it really what i find it for me it it really ah
it helps me
change my mind
it helps me shift and then i just settle into a natural rhythm of breath nothing too long nothing to ah too deep
the context though which is interesting and this is what what's missing in this chapters like why is he talking about this
ah so in the in the raw
in the rod are text he says so this practice is not so easy ah
maybe you can continue this practice for even one day or one period you cannot continue this practice for even one day i when period can continue at one period you must make a big effort
eventually maybe that is what you can do extend the practice to another period of time eventually will extend to everyday life
everyday life is to reveal yourself as you are
you shouldn't try to be someone else
you should be honest with yourself and express yourself fully
and you should be brave enough to express yourself whatever people might say it's all right you should just be yourself
and then another shift as least for your teacher you should just be yourself
ah and vanish say shifting save jesus your teacher may say okay that's how you should continue with your practice in other words when your teacher sees that you are really expressing yourself says until your teacher says so you should try hard after while your teacher might say oh
okay now you should continue that practice forever you don't need me anymore
that's actual practice your actual life
but this is difficult and unless you trust your teacher
spirit is the same spirit as yours then you can be brave enough to continue this kind of practice
and then the these are interesting tangents and he says sometimes you have to argue with your teacher that's okay you should do that but you should be ready to give up your argument when you were wrong when you find yourself sticking to some viewpoint foolishly or when you are making some it
excuse you should be honest with yourself i surrender okay i'm sorry
there's laughter interspersed in all in all this ah
for a teacher and for you what we should try to do is have perfect communication for a teacher the important point the for teacher the important point is always ready to be is always to be ready to surrender to your disciple
if a teacher thinks he or she is wrong they should say oh you are right i was wrong
if your teacher has that kind of spirit you should have the same spirit
that's not so easy you may think it is easy but if you continue this kind of practice some people may think you crazy
but it doesn't matter
we're not the same
each one of us is different from the other so each one of us has our own problem anyway
you should be yourself
ha
nearly shifts again fortunately you have zen center here fortunately we have sent center here
zen center is not an umbrella which will protect you you may have noticed that but here you can have real practice and express yourself lee
you should so then another shift what does it mean to be
in zen center in sanga he says you should open your eyes to appreciate and others practice
you should be able to communicate to each other without words
does it does not mean to criticize others but to appreciate are no others
and that's why we have rules or rituals
if you are practicing zaza and no one understands your practice
but when you are practicing it's my best chance to understand you especially if i see you from your back
it's very easy to understand what kind of practice you have so that's why i walk around the zendo not to hit you
but to see you very interesting
hum
so they're they're all these shifts and and see it it's not so coherent this lecture but it's very rich and to me the context for what eventually got it it down as as com of mind was calmness of mind the status of she can't
hours and practice is what we need to be
harmonious with ourself
and
that means being harmonious with our whole community with our sanga with the people around us
ah zen center is a community suzuki security again
those who com or members
when they come for the first time to zen center has some of you perhaps or it may be difficult for them to know what we're doing
but more and more they will feel what we were doing enjoyed our practice
so those who were practicing our way should give people some feeling of practice in other words we should
by doing the practice by entering into this calmness of mind we show others
who we are and how we can practice and this is i know this is true for for me and i'm sure it's true for many of you it's like
when i came here
ah
prickly when i when i when i came here in the early eighties in ah i looked around at the people who were practicing
some of you are still here ten k still here peter is still here ah
ross was here shortly after budgets like these are meghan was here ah
ah
i just watch these people you know and i couldn't say what it was about them
but i also felt
oh there's something here that i would like to bring forth in myself
i think i'll stay
i love that was a good idea of buried
no ah and this is what so ah
what i saw was
even with all of our humanity and all of our flaws which all of us have what i was seen was self selfless practice and self centered practice and this again in this text he says ah
he says hot
so those were practicing our way should give people some feeling of practice the best way to give feeling a practices for each one to have our own feeling fully then naturally people who come will feel it but if our practice is wrong they will also feel it is it's the wrong feeling is
created because we are involved in selfish practice
and he moved to a sort of metaphysical place he says i said don't have a wrong idea don't have an idea of time
if you have involved in an idea of time selfish practice will start from there what he means by an idea of time is like
doing something
for a future outcome
so already if you're thinking of the future you have turned your attention away from the present
so that's what he means don't get caught by that
ah he says he says it's all right to have an idea of time if it is the extended practice of non selfish packed standard practice of non selfish practice on this moment
so we don't know what will happen in the next moment
this is last week when walter was given the talk
we had an exchange of that continuity and discontinuity
and i think wanted things i've been seeing in dogan is an emphasis on ha there's an emphasis on continuous practice and is emphasis on discontinuous time meaning
ah i think that's what what digico she's getting at here he says we don't know what will happen in each moment ha meaning every moment is new
every moment is fresh which means in every moment we have an opportunity to create ourselves
ah

and we all have our own style he says a strong person expresses himself in a very strong way
a kind person will express herself very kindly
ah
when you pass out the sutra cards
we pass the books so we passed the meal chance from this end to the other end each person passes it in their own way
if i look it is easy to see because you do with the same way you do the same way everyday ah because of all of you are doing the same thing from this corner the other it's easy to see ah and because you repeat the same thing over and over again everyone can understand your friends way
ah eventually though you shut your eyes and then you say oh you don't you receive the cards that oh that was catherine she passed it i i remember you know again from early on site
i still have images of how certain people bow
their body is within my body
i don't bow and is shirley that way but they've had that way and that is expressing themselves fully
most people who visit zen center may feel this is a very strange place they don't talk so much they don't even laugh what are they doing
but actually without talking so much we can communicate we can feel each other's feeling and our mind is always open we're expressing ourselves fully
trying to express yourself you're expressing yourself anyway
if your mind is open you can see this
we should extend this kind of practice to city life and we must have more friends so that all of us can be good friends to others
it is not a difficult thing when you decide to be honest with yourself and to express yourself fully without expecting anything
just be yourself ready to understand others that's how we extend our practice to everyday life
so then
it comes back to
the material this the the stuffing yellow is like coming back to the material of the ah
the edited festival and i get out so my feeling is it ah ah this is
this is enriching because we see why ah
complete she can cause it may be difficult because of the pain in your legs we will find this out as the day goes on
but even though you have pain in your legs you can do that
even though your practice is not good enough you can do that
so with your breathing you will vanish gradually you will fade into emptiness
and naturally
inhaling brings you back yourself with some color and form exhaling again you gradually fade into emptiness empty white paper
when you have this practice in your last moment you have nothing to be afraid of your actually aiming at emptiness
actually
yeah
you actually aiming after you become one with everything after you completely exhale with this feeling if you were alive naturally you will inhale again oh i'm alive fortunately or unfortunately
ah then you start to exhale and fade into emptiness
maybe you don't know what kind of feeling it is but some of you know it
by some chance you must have felt this kind of feeling
when you do this practice you cannot easily become angry
when you are more interested in inhaling and exhaling you easily become quite angry you are always trying to be alive
the interesting passage here the other day my friend had a heart attack and all you can do with exhale he couldn't inhale that was a terrible feeling he said
at that moment if he could have practiced exhaling as we do aiming for emptiness then i think he would not have felt so bad not so convinced about that but ah anyway that's what his thing
the great joy for us is exhaling rather than in healing
ah
nuggets deception to take care of the exhalation is very important to die is more important than trying to be alive
when we always try to be alive we have trouble
but buddha will take care of us
because we have lost our mother's bosom we do not feel like her child anymore
yet fading away into emptiness can feel like being at our mother's bosom and we will feel as though she will take care of us

so in this way we are free we have enjoyment
we feel free to express ourselves because we are ready to fade into emptiness
if you're always trying to be active and to be special
i'm trying to do something you cannot express yourself
your small self will be expressed
but big sales calls for
it's fair to the emptiness
that is she can taza
okay
not so difficult if you try
if you really try
thank you very much
so hum
we have little time for your thoughts or questions i think you can see ah
just the richness of of this material ah it's about our life you know it's it's not just about how you practice zazen or how you're a good set student it's really about how we live how we are with each other how we create high
germany
the simultaneity of harmonizing ourself and harmonizing the world around us yeah carrie

detail and what

hum yeah i'm in their places where it's very their their meditation manuals words where it's very detailed both in in the policy jersey in my yana ah and their places where it's not something i mean he's
he's talking both about the physical dimensions and the mental dimensions and actually in in the in early meditation manuals there there's certainly a very detailed ah map's of kind of the mental states and ah should the process
s of meditation
ross
john
over
anything
yeah
yesterday
yeah
have version of of a conversation that
you some advice on how to look at our relationships
to communicate
me back to this it
version version or here
what transpired said the other

he said
i remember this were is this a lines from our
from the jewel mirror somali ah the meaning is not in the words he had response to the inquiring impulse
hum and i think these pointing to that ah the meeting is the meaning is not in the words the meaning response to the inquiring impulse so it's just ah
now dogan does not i think we learn with dogan not to discount words words are are important i'm not devaluing them
but
what is the inquiring impulse
that said brought you and merry together and so i guess that's the edited version perhaps and it's you know ah i think one of the things that
that i've felt ah often here have learned over and over again is that
not everything is susceptible to words i love words and i love language ah but you can't talk everything out
you know ah it's more how we move together how we act together ha how we worked together ha and
that doesn't itself also negate whatever happens around the words but there's a
here's a
there's a weight in that that is beyond our ideas and that's the thing i think that's the i think this is really a big problem in our society ah is that we're caught in the words and ideas and also so
that contains the implication of time
you know so differences that we have in our society ah real gaps that we feel ah that are very painful hurtful to us hum
would probably not gonna talk all that stuff out ah what it calls for and some of it is some of it really is inequality that's that's a whole other subject you know ah
very highly unequal access to resources or oppression violence on one side or other but even that is based on you know access if i have you know if i have more than you do have something and i hold onto it or that's
because i'm not seeing that you are buddha and i am buddha
ah and so i want mine you know i don't care so much about yours but if we recognize that fundamental equality that basic goodness that
we're told belongs to all of us ah then
then we have a ground for harmonisation
yeah thank you
says

right
yeah i think that i think that's wonderful it's like we're
the inhalation were taking in whatever has been offered to us and the exhalation we are offering out
ah and it's not just chemicals sauce or mind our intention
and the physical act of exhalation ah is
letting go
and when we die
we will just you know the last thing will be an exhalation
follow in which they will not be any deletion
so the last thing is i it comes to mind that the expression giving up the ghost the ghost is giving up the spirit giving up something essential and letting go you know letting go fading into emptiness
ah but also as we exhale ah this is why i think susie bushy and sojourner are emphasizing this is our
just that point how we how we let go of the things that we want to we think we want to clutch onto
hen just to be completely giving a generous
giving and generous
if you or two more
yeah jose

you know
i actually asked i asked a version of that question has to be good body whose
he say
very well known tarawera
polly early buddhist scholar and translator so
technically
ah when you talk about feelings vagina ah in that kind of analysis there are three modalities of feeling
ah positive negative and neutral or neither positive or negative
hum and
ah i guess my way of feeling thinking is that ah
it's hard for me to separate them and this may be what suzuki roshi stalking when he says in the staff of fingers are many instance of time and would be covered he said well you can't have these things are not simultaneous i'm not so convinced that just you know a description i'm not convinced of what the the neurological or
or ah
or psychological
ah expression of that is you know but i think that
ha
i can imagine i can see sadness and calmness of mind coexisted

some of them are stronger than others
some of them really take over
ah you know sadnesses and mean there's a whole ah japanese aesthetic what does it what is a cold
yeah wabi-sabi you know there's a sort of like an attitude or an atmosphere of of a kind of sadness of like i think recognizing the essential impermanence of existence and that's that's very you know that can be very calm i think that
that expressions of anxiety can be really stronger i think they tend to displace commerce but that's just my opinion you know i don't know he go
they comfort in euroscience on this one
churches and
we really got bobby as
yeah
a wider about recently they demanded of your know
right dispensation of this moment and the rising of the movie
that may be and so that's the discontinuity the token is talking about but it exists within a perceptual framework where we see our life like a movie ah so movie consists of individual frames right so that that's that that mo
moment but it has the appearance as it runs through the projector of continuity so yeah i mean i think park there are buddhist meditations that are looking at each individual arising of a moment in a very minute way and then there are other ah you know
it's liked
there are other ways where you actually looking at the flow so yeah i don't want to get hung up on that one more marriage

yeah
right
well i would say that's that is at the center of zen practice the center of zen practice in particular is ah
not locking down on any one narrative about reality
it's not knowing
not always so and i was reading in one of the transcripts of of suzuki roshi i know it was in it was in it was david chadwick was talking to him in in crooked cucumber and they were driving along he said ah
he has since viewership what's the first principle and silky wrote she said i don't know and they've looked him with these and citigroup said
that's the first principle i don't know
and that's a really good place to add to that