I vow to taste the truth of the Bhagavad Gita's words. Good morning. I notice we're kind of dragging on the Japanese version of that chant. It may be because you don't know it well and you're waiting to see what you hear, so maybe you ought to pick up a copy and take it in your sleeve or something. It's getting very elongated. And while I'm doing practical matters, it would help me if everyone in Seshin would at least once present themselves to me in Doksan. You know, what I talk about in these Dharma talks mostly comes from what people bring up to me in the Doksan.

[01:00]

And when we have the Shosan ceremony, it's much easier for the person leading Seshin to respond more appropriately if the person asking the question has made themselves known. It's up to you, but it would help me. So I want to continue some... I shared with you some yesterday, a lecture which Suzuki Roshi... As far as I can tell, it's the opening lecture of the last Seshin he led here in the Senda, June of 1971. He became ill in August.

[02:04]

And he's talking about Shikantaza. He says, Shikantaza, our Zazen is just to be ourselves. We should not expect anything. Just be ourselves and continue this practice forever. That is our way, you know. We say, even in a snap of your fingers, there are millions of cetanas, units of time. We say moment after moment, but in your actual practice a moment is too long. If we say moment or one breath, one breathing after another, your mind is still involved in following breathing. We say to follow our breathing, but the feeling is to live in each moment. If you live in each moment, you do not expect anything.

[03:11]

With everything you become you, yourself. If you feel yourself without any idea of time, in the smallest particle of time, that is Zazen. This practice is not so easy. You may not be able to continue it for even one period. You must make such a big effort. Maybe what you can do, though, for the next five days, this was the beginning of the five-day Sashin, is to extend this feeling for each period, or to prepare for this feeling, this Shikantaza. And this preparation or extension of the practice to another period of time

[04:14]

eventually will be extended to everyday life. How you extend your practice is to expose yourself as you are. You shouldn't try to be someone else. You should be very honest with yourself and express yourself fully. And you should be brave enough to express yourself. Whatever people may say, you know, it is all right. You should be just yourself, at least for your teacher. And at least for yourself. You should be willing to be just this one as it is. This doesn't mean just to express every little wave on the ocean of your mind.

[05:15]

But to express fully your whole being. To be willing to be your whole being. And you know, we have these thoughts and moods and emotions that rise and fall like waves on the ocean. Like waves on the ocean. And we sit as we sit where the whole ocean and we become aware of all the waves. But they just rise and fall. They are impermanent.

[06:20]

All things are impermanent. They arise and they pass away. To live in harmony with this truth brings great happiness. This Pali chant is very helpful. To be in harmony with this truth of impermanence brings great happiness. You know, we read the Genjo Koan now in morning service. And in the Genjo Koan it says, when you sail out on a boat to the middle of an ocean where no land is in sight and view the four directions

[07:26]

the ocean looks circular and does not look any other way. But the ocean is neither round nor square. Its features are infinite in variety. It is like a palace. It is like a jewel. It only looks circular as far as you can see at that time. And you are like that. Any definition, description, idea, notion of self that you may have is just as far as you can see at that time. But you yourself are neither round nor square.

[08:29]

You extend far beyond what you can see at any moment. Whatever definition you may hold in your mind limits you to less than the vastness of your entire being. It's just like identifying the waves as the ocean. We sit to settle in the whole ocean not knowing the limit of it, not knowing the extent of it, not knowing the form of it. Just being willing to be what it is. In another talk

[09:52]

on one of the cases of the Blue Cliff record, Suzuki Roshi talks a little about relative and absolute. He quotes from the introduction by Engo saying, if you are caught by the slightest idea of good and bad, you are caught by the slightest idea of good and bad. Your mind, the true mind or essence of mind, will be lost in the realm of disorder. If you do not have an idea of the order of stages, there will be no purpose in your practice. Now, which do you think is better, to pursue the relative way or to resume to the absolute? So this is Suzuki Roshi's commentary on that question. The relative form and color that you see now are the conditioned attributes of the unconditioned, constant,

[10:55]

absolute, the waves on the ocean. The absolute is the eternal unconditionality that gives rise to the conditioned relative ways of practice. What you see now is the eternal unconditionality of the absolute and the momentary conditioned relative. Actually, the positive or relative way is not different from the negative or absolute way. Even though you follow the order of the stages in your actual practice, if each relative stage, even the first stage, is brought out in full relief against the darkness of the absolute, and if there is no fumbling and groping in your practice under the right teacher, then your practice is already in the realm of reality. Each relative stage bears the full meaning of the absolute,

[12:01]

and the absolute reveals its actual meaning in the relative practice. If you wish to understand this secret, you must study under the right teacher not only by words, but also by actual conduct on each moment under particular circumstances. This is being willing to express yourself fully. To reveal yourself, to expose yourself to yourself and to at least one other person, to keep yourself honest. As you come to know yourself more fully and accept yourself more fully as you are,

[13:08]

you will be willing to be seen as you are by everyone. This is the way that the practice of Sangha helps us to realize ourselves. Go back to how we practice the Shikantaza in breathing. I want to say, come back one more time to what I brought up yesterday from Suzuki Roshi's lecture. The Shikantaza He says, just to be honest with yourself and to express yourself fully without expecting anything and to be ready to understand others

[14:10]

is how you extend your practice to everyday life. And then he talks about breathing as he spoke of it yesterday, as I spoke of it yesterday. Let's go back to one paragraph. I'm just explaining the feeling of Shikantaza. The important point of Shikantaza is in your exhaling. Instead of trying to feel yourself, try to fade in emptiness when you exhale. When you have this practice in your last moment, you have nothing to be afraid of. You are actually aiming at emptiness, the empty area. There is no other way for you to have a feeling of immortality. You become one with everything

[15:10]

after you completely exhale with this feeling. When you have this practice, you cannot be angry so easily. Because you are interested in inhaling more than exhaling, you become angry quite easily. You are trying to be alive always, you know. The other day my friend had a heart attack and all he could do was exhale. He couldn't inhale. That was a terrible feeling, he said. But if he could have tried to exhale at that moment as we exhale, aiming for emptiness, then I think he wouldn't have felt so bad. The great joy for us is exhaling rather than inhaling. He tried to take another inhalation

[16:13]

and he thought he couldn't inhale anymore. But if he could have tried to exhale as we do, then I think he could have taken another inhalation more easily. So exhaling is very important for us. To die is more important than to try to be alive. We always try to be alive so we have trouble. Instead of trying to be alive or active, if we try to be calmer and die or fade away into emptiness, then naturally we will be taken care of. Buddha will take care of us. Moment after moment you shouldn't lose this kind of practice as you practice Shantaza. Moment after moment,

[17:14]

fading back into the great ocean of Buddha and reappearing with the next breath. I don't want to mix up metaphors too much, but Michael quoted a Rumi poem last night about all streams streaming to the ocean, streaming toward the ocean. So we can also think of ourselves as streams, streams streaming toward the ocean. And I bring that up because someone said to me,

[18:22]

I know that I'm not the same as I was when I was a little boy, but still, I can remember being a little boy, and I see my aunts and uncles at Thanksgiving, and they say, Oh yes, it's little Willie. Right. Now I've grown up into grown-up Bill. And it's like a stream. A stream is sort of all one stream, but it's not the same downstream as it is upstream. It changes. Loses some things and things are added to it. It widens. Becomes sometimes more shallow, sometimes more deep,

[19:24]

sometimes more calm, sometimes more turbulent. Little rivulets come in from here and there. More rain comes down. It picks up mud. All kinds of things happen to the stream as it streams toward the ocean. Still, it's streaming toward the ocean. And it will lose itself in the ocean. And yet, the water will continue to circulate. Right? There will continue to be streams streaming toward the ocean. And the ocean will continue to receive all the streams, to evaporate, renew all the streams. It is continuous.

[20:28]

And we can sort of identify with a particular stream, but we can't grab onto it and define it. It's just flowing. And the life of the stream is in the flowing. In the meeting each, each weed and each rock and each turn and curve of the bank and rushing on toward, streaming toward the ocean. Being completely this particular stream, but it's all water. It's all water.

[22:00]

How we come to know the nature of water is to sit and breathe. Exhaling, letting the exhale go into emptiness and returning when it's ready. Exhaling. Are you willing to be just as you are, completely this one?

[23:23]

Can you embrace all of it as it is? All the dirt and sticks and rocks and mud that got washed into the stream upstream, let it settle out and flow along, streaming toward the ocean, just like this, accepting everything as it is. The ocean looks circular and does not look any other way, but the ocean is neither round

[25:21]

nor square. Its features are infinite in variety, it is like a palace, it is like a jewel. It only looks circular as far as you can see at that time. You must know that although it may look round or square, the other features of oceans and mountains are infinite in variety, whole worlds are there. It is so not only around you, but also directly within you or in a drop of water.

[26:10]

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