happened or not. I mean, I can't... That's as true of projects. It's not true of friendships, relationships, people, and so forth. In terms of projects, I've never cared whether they succeed or not. But I used to make a huge effort to make them succeed. Now I don't make much... Stan can tell you I don't make much effort anymore. Remember, I used to make quite a big effort, didn't I? I think I used to drive people crazy. But... Why are you laughing, Dan? Smiling. But no, I don't care. And I don't even make an effort much. I feel everything is great. And I feel such confidence in all of you that I don't have to do anything, you know. But then there's a problem.

[01:02]

Now we could take a little sidebar, sideline. You know, because I was speaking yesterday about this, I can use this as an example, speaking yesterday about, the day before maybe, about this abiding in the distinction between self and other. So I can say, for instance, being content, I can say, oh, I'm more content than I used to be. And I have to write a letter, a couple letters about the architectural stuff. And I recognize I would write the letter differently than I might have five years ago, 10, 15 years ago. So I could say, oh, I'm more content than I used to be. Okay, that's a natural thought, but then I can say, oh, I'm glad I'm more content. Oh, immediately there's a distinction between self and a... And then I can even carry it a little further and say, given the many ways I've failed, isn't it great I'm content now?

[02:16]

Oh, that... Then I'm getting kind of smug. Smug, do you know the word smug? Smug means obvious or great or offensive self-satisfaction. So then I think, oh, what's happening? And then I can think, oh, I'm smug Buddha. I'm a self-satisfied Buddha. Okay, so what happens when I do that? I'm actually cutting off proliferation In other words, I can know, have an intellectual understanding and experience of everything as empty. But there's still a tendency for the mind to proliferate thoughts toward this distinction between self and other. Do you understand? It's not just thinking. There tends to be a proliferation. For instance, again, I notice I'm more content than I used to be.

[03:21]

So then I take some satisfaction in being more content than I used to be, or more content than someone else, and then I'm in some kind of distinction between self and other, or a more obvious distinction. No, I can stop that proliferation by bringing myself to my breath. And in Hinduism, I think there's a word, pranavidya, and it means the knowledge of aliveness, the knowledge of our power or breath power or something like that. So if I bring this, if I notice I'm proliferating and I become smug Buddha, then I can say, oh, I can just bring myself to my breath and

[04:25]

Because I'm not cutting off thinking so much as I'm cutting off the proliferation. I can accept it, you know, and I can cut it off, or I can cut it off with a wisdom phrase like, no self, no other. No self, no other. So I notice that this kind of proliferation occurs toward more of this distinction between self and other, because there's greater degrees in this distinction. And the more powerfully that distinction is structured in your thinking, the more you'll be generally disliked. Because everyone picks up this structure in your thinking. The more it's kind of flexible, fluid, there's more vulnerability. the more you'll have relationships with people with more flow.

[05:30]

So we all have this pattern, but you can notice the pattern as it starts, and you can become a smug Buddha, or you can become, bring yourself to your breath, or bring yourself to a phrase, not self, not other, or wisdom application. Okay. So why else do I continue practicing? Because I find when I don't practice, My tathagatagarbha roots are pretty shallow.

[06:36]

I'll try to explain what I mean. Just simply the roots of zazen mind, the roots of awareness, if I find if I don't sit regularly, I become more and more encased in consciousness and less and less in awareness. So it's sort of the roots of awareness get quite shallow, like they're in a small pot. So when I do zazen, the pot gets bigger and the roots go down and I find myself, if I sit regularly, more in. More and more my consciousness is permeated by awareness. And also I find that my thinking is not only more, I said this before, but in a little differently, it's more relevant.

[07:38]

I can think something through if I'm sitting, during sitting, but also in general, with more effectiveness, more innovation, more freedom. And also I can be crazier and remain saner. remain sane. Does that make sense? I can let myself be crazy and know that it's still in the realm of sanity. I don't know, maybe I shouldn't, I don't know what that means. I don't have to be worried about being crazy or too far out, which I've had concern about that in the past sometimes. So that's enough reasons.

[08:46]

I could give you some more. But they... So for me, doing Zazen is... I do it like I sleep. Why do you sleep? I don't know. I sleep because I feel better if I sleep. I do zazen because I feel better if I do zazen. It's like that. It's at that level. For me it's now equivalent to sleeping, washing my face, walking around. It's just part of being alive. And I don't have any so-called gaining idea. about it. I don't do anything. I don't try to do anything. But actually I can give you another reason. I find there's an involuntary self-exploration going on. Involuntary exploration of phenomena and self, and the emptiness of phenomena and self. That's something I should... I tried to explain that in Europe.

[09:48]

This importance in mature mahayana, which is different from Theravadan, of the emptiness of self and the emptiness of phenomena. I won't try to explain it now. Explaining something like that, it's important, but it gets a little philosophical and that's kind of dry sometimes. But I do find, if I sip regularly, there's It just happens. There's an exploration of self and phenomena. And also related to that, I discover new vistas. Constantly my practice makes the world more new to me and my experiences in Zazen are constantly new. They are almost not ever repetitious. Every sitting, there's something different happens that's never happened to me before. I don't try to have something, it's just that way.

[10:56]

It's kind of interesting. And if nothing new happened, I wouldn't care either. It doesn't make any difference to me. I just... I don't have any idea that it should be productive or not productive. It happens to be, so it kind of supports me to sit, but... And of course I sit, I practice, I teach or share practice because it's now an inseparable part of practicing. As I think for you, practicing together becomes an inseparable part of practicing. It's no different than teaching.

[11:59]

Teaching is a form of practicing together. Okay, now let me come back to this dharma friendship or past friendship. When we practice together, something happens. We begin to have small but crucial, significant influences on each other. We nudge each other into the path. And I think if you look back on your practice and you can see that various people, sometimes people who didn't practice, sometimes people who practiced, but some kind of way in which the reality of another person came into you affected your movement along the path.

[13:13]

And what Sangha is, we could describe Sangha in this I think, gotra or rigs, I think, or other words in Indian and Tibetan Buddhism. The sense of sangha as lineage in which we are constantly nudging each other. I don't know. Again, this is one of the things I'm having to kind of see if I can find the sense of a way to give you a feeling for the intimacy of this. There's this word, tathagatagarbha, which means the coming and going, the thusness. And I think that, you know, when we say this book,

[14:15]

We describe the world as full of these separate entities. I think if we said, thus book, it might actually be wiser. It's like saying treeing instead of tree, because treeing is an activity. So if we said, thus book, you immediately feel all the activity that went into the book. See, the book is a nexus of activity rather than a thing. This is something. Rebecca knows very well, thus book, thus editing, thus indexing, etc., thus publishing, thus not sleeping. So to substitute thus for this, everything you see, instead of saying this, you say thus.

[15:18]

And tathagata means thusness, basically. And garbha means both womb and seed. So there's a sense in Buddhism, and this is related to the idea of Buddha nature, that each of us has within us a kind of womb-seed, that our situation is simultaneously a womb and a seed and the site of engagement or our activity of alignment or completeness is bringing this womb and seed together. It's really this kind of family genetic image. And this is the biggest name and the most inward name for Buddha. So you can begin to feel, if you want to take this teaching into you, you begin to feel we're walking around in a womb. I don't know.

[16:23]

Clues. But anyway, we're walking around in a womb. And each action, each thing we do, is a seed. And I think because of this, there are marriage vows and there are are priestly and monk vows. When two people decide to get married, they're deciding to join their paths and widen their paths together, to come into one path together. And there's a kind of vow. You say, okay, we'll make one path. who will share a path. And I like the Protestant wedding ceremony which says, when you vow, you say you can plight your troth. And to plight your troth, the minister says, do you plight your troth? I'm not speaking to anybody in this room who might be planning to get married, but when you plight your troth,

[17:32]

Plight means to endanger, and troth means truth. You endanger your truth with another person. So it means you endanger your personal truth with another person. You commit and endanger your truth with another person. That's a fantastic idea. And we do that when we enter the Sangha, too. we endanger our personal truth in the larger truth, and we find that when we practice together, we're all beginning to share a path. It's quite extraordinary. We're practicing together, some of you live in Europe, some of you live in Boulder, other places California and yet what we do here makes us think about what we do wherever we are makes us think what should our life be when you sit Zaza and sit in Sashin you think what do I want my life to be like you may well think this

[18:57]

So it means this is raising the sense of a path in you, and you question the path you're on, and you bring questions from the lineage to bear on what kind of path you should be on, want to be on, in fact are on. Want to be, should be, already are on. So each of our separate paths begins to also affect our common path. And not with the sense that it becomes just one kind of path, we're all walking the same way, but rather we're exploring into this infinitely variable universe, multiverse.

[19:59]

But these various tunnels or fields we're making of exploration begin to overlap or there begin to be light shines from one to the other. So this sense of Buddha nature, tathagatagarbha, is that this seed womb is the fact of existence. And it may be like the doppelganger Buddha. We feel the absence of the Buddha in us. If you feel the absence of the Buddha in you, it means you're making space for the Buddha in you. If in your actions you feel, in your posture, if you feel, oh, my posture could be better, you're feeling the absence of Buddha in your posture. Does that make sense? If you feel your posture, oh, it could be a little better, that means you feel the absence of ideal posture.

[21:09]

And you can move into that space. And likewise in your life, as you practice meditation and mindfulness, we begin to feel the absence of Buddha within us. And this absence, as Dogen would call, then the absence becomes our obstacle and is the possibility of realization. And this is the sense of Buddha nature. The absence, the presence of the absence of Buddha. That's implicit, actually, in how we exist. And this isn't some kind of Buddha in the texts or sutras. This is something intimate to you that you need, you can, may want to taste, discover, realize. So again, this sense that within us is this moon seed activity waiting to become a Buddha.

[22:29]

Okay, so why don't we all become Buddhas? It's there. Because it's inconceivable. It's not able to be known conceptually. It can only be experienced. So as long as you're trying to reach it conceptually, or through desire for enlightenment or something or other, it's not conceivable, so you can't... So you have to let it happen through the subtlety of your experience and some kind of trust in the path, trust in our Dharma friendships, our path friendships, And trust in your own intimacy. And trust in the intimacy of your own, and the courage of that intimacy. What actually nourishes you?

[23:34]

What actually allows you to implement your deepest intentions? So it's like that. That's what I practice it with. Thank you very much. Thank you. It's time to end the game and get inside and have a good rest.

[24:56]

I've done it again and again, but I'm not as good as I used to be. It didn't even bother me that I saw it, but I really did sauce the wounds. I haven't done it again for a long time, but I'm going to do it again next time. I'm not going to do it again, but I'm going to do it again next time. I haven't done it again for a long time, but I'm going to do it again next time. I don't think we have a lot of opportunity to do this work. I don't think we have a lot of opportunity to do this work. I don't think we have a lot of opportunity to do this work. Every one of us is a precious and saving and perfect bond.

[26:31]

Each individual is a friend, each individual is a master, each individual is even enough to realize his many powers. We need to see and listen to him, to believe and recognize himself. How many of you are able to taste the truth of the life that I tell of this world? You know, all these years I've never seen the Easter Bunny. But there's one disguised as a snowman right outside the door eating frozen celery or something.

[27:31]

I didn't even know it was Easter. I'm so happy I've seen the Easter Bunny. Maybe all this stuff is real. You know, Soren Roshi, Genpo Roshi, you know Soren Roshi. Genpo Roshi was 1960, I think he died. I think he was born in 1866. So that upholds my view of this 200-year period of consciousness, because here he goes back, and Soren Roshi influenced both of us, particularly you, You went to Ryutakuji when you were 20? 20. Pioneer. You made a little sign. Made me think of once when I went to California.

[28:42]

When I was first in California, I don't know. There was a big redwood tree that had grown around a rock, and somebody put a sign. Aaron said, note the power of a redwood. I don't know if you look like a redwood or not, Dan. Anyway, Genpo Roshi was, I don't know, quite an extraordinary teacher, and Son Roshi was great. I liked him a lot. Genpo Roshi, when he was 96, I think, he was getting quite old, obviously, and he would try to do calligraphy, and he'd get up, and he didn't have the strength to do it sometimes. And he would insist on sitting in this kind of posture to write, because the only posture in which his strength flowed enough to do calligraphy. And the emperor had...

[29:48]

given a poetic name. Each year has a name, and the period has a name, and the emperor gives a poetic name to each year. That year of 19—whatever it was when he was 96—he was the year of youthfulness. Genpo Roshi was quite a calligrapher and artist, and he'd, in a tea bowl, written youthfulness on the inside. On the outside, he wrote old age. So when he was 96, Soen Roshi made himself a cup of tea. And you froth up the tea, you know, foam up the tea. And in this tea bowl was youthfulness and old age in it. and drank a kind of matcha tea toast. That sounds funny. Tea toast.

[30:53]

You know, like kanpai or prost or something. Drank a toast to his teacher saying, for the body before birth unaffected by old age And this sense of body before birth and unaffected by old age is an ordinary part of Zen thinking, such that just making a tea in honor of your teacher's age, you would say something like this. Now I think, I like to, I want us to get into the depth of the practice, of the depth of the craft of practice.

[31:59]

And, you know, I, I, you know, Sukhya Shri always used to say, we're just a baby group, baby practice. I think we're not such a baby practice anymore. I mean, this is, Zen is a one lifetime, is conceived and developed as a one lifetime practice. not a practice over many lifetimes. So some of us have been doing this most of our lifetime. So I can't say we know much, but accumulatively we've been doing it. And also many of you, I mean I think there's a lot of maturity actually, I mean not to you know, not the way it ideally could be, perhaps, but there's still a lot of maturity in our Dharma Sangha practice. And those of you who are quite new to the practice, many of you started various kinds of practice quite a few years ago. So there's not only the accumulated practice of some of us older fellows, there's also the accumulated practice of all of us together.

[33:15]

And I think you can have some confidence in our practice. And I think it's a great deal that I can talk with you And you can understand what I'm saying when I speak about the depth of practice, the depth of the craft of practice, inside how we're actually functioning, seeing how things work. But then some of you say, oh, but I can't do that yet. I haven't learned how to do it. Come on. Don't be silly. That's your bad habit consciousness talking. You've forgotten that this is a limitless practice for a limitless length of time in one lifetime. And we need that kind of spirit. And I'm speaking, you know, I'm not going to last forever.

[34:24]

Shucks. Probably could. And I want to speak to you as much as possible about practice, understood and not understood, implied and winter branch practice that can reach. Like someone, Roshi's, Gimpo Roshi's practice reaches to Dan especially, partly to me. I need to speak to you for your lifetime of practice, not just today. Whether you can do this or that, I don't care. If you understand, this is a lot. And to get to the point where we understand these distinctions, this is a lot. I think so. So I wanted to give you a little episode from the Blue Cliff Records con, 23 I think it is.

[35:42]

And Baofu and Changchi, funny names, anyway. we're walking along and hiking in the mountains like say Randy and I might hike in the mountains or Dan and I or something like that and Bao Fu said oh points right there right here is right there is mystic peak the mystic peak and Chang Ching said indeed it is what a pity I think this is great. Yeah. So, and Chang Ching and Ching Ching, who you've met before earlier through the seminars, I always think of that story that I told you.

[36:49]

I'm thinking of these names. This black woman I knew in the projects we did in the neighborhood foundation. She stood up. I don't know if you remember her. She was this former prostitute who was the leader of the project. She was great. A good friend of Virginia's. She's the one who had to make a speech and she stood up and she said, Shucks, I stood up and my thoughts sat down. laughter laughter laughter Some of you say that in duksan. I sat down on my thoughts. But anyway, she described some Chinese woman she met. She said, I can't think of her name, but it sounds like a fork falling on the floor. Ching, ching. I can't hear the name Ching Ching without thinking of her. I can't remember what her name was.

[37:49]

She was great. So these three guys were all disciples of Shredo, except one of Sukershi's favorite teachers. And it says they thought alike, they understood alike, they realized alike, and they both knew the entrances and exits. When something was brought up, they all knew how it came down. It was this kind of emphasis on this lineage understanding. But Genpo Roshi also, he said that monks are shoji paste. Shoji is the paper doors, like in Otowa, and the paste is what you glue the paper on. He said monks are like shoji paste.

[38:51]

You don't see it, but if it's not there, everything, the paper peels off. He meant monks should be invisible, but they make things work, make things stick together. But I think we could also use this image that each lineage has a particular kind of shoji paste or glue that glues the teaching together. So these guys, Shui Do's disciples, all had a kind of shared way of seeing things. Now, since these stories were made for pedagogical reasons put together to test our own understanding, they always present the protagonists as testing each other, which I think is most of the time a kind of nonsense. These are mature guys. They don't go walking around in the woods testing each other all the time. They're more likely having some fun with Otmar.

[39:52]

It's more like, this story is more like, say two lovers are walking along in the forest, they're perhaps a little shy with each other, and they see two strong trees with the branches intertwined. One of them says, oh look, those two trees are in love. And the other one says, indeed they are, what a pity. Meaning, what a pity that you noticed the love over there and not here. So it's something like that, these two guys are working on. They probably felt glued together. Quite good walking along. So they don't want to say it's too, oh, don't we feel good together? She says, oh, right here is Mystic Peak. And the other still says, indeed. What a pity. So it is. So this is also speaking, I'm speaking about this, there's no over there, the geese, there's no place, when have they ever flown away?

[41:15]

There's no place to go to. There's no comparison in this world of realizations. what is given, and in this case, given together. So what it means, they share the same entrance and exits. They see how something comes up, and they understand how it comes down, or how to resolve it. And this is some experience in practice. Now someone mentioned to me, let's see, there's a few things people have mentioned to me in Doksana. Gives me something to talk about.

[42:16]

One is these skills. Now the skills I emphasize these days are one-pointedness, I've spoken about often, and a non-interfering observing consciousness. Let me just define that The most simple way I can, you're practicing, you come to a point where you feel suffused with non-thought, or in samadhi. And then you say to yourself, oh, this is what they're talking, this must be samadhi, and your samadhi goes away. That means you have an interfering observing consciousness. What we want is a non-interfering observing consciousness. In other words, you feel some samadhi suffused by non-thought and you can observe it without interfering with it.

[43:28]

That's an important yogic skill. And someone else asked me about one-pointedness and thinking. Yes, this is another example of one-pointedness and thinking. Okay, the other skills I'm emphasizing now are this ability to return your attention to your breath, the muscle of attention. And the fourth is... to know the shift from the contents of consciousness, the contents of mind, to the field of mind. So you can rest in the field of mind and not in the contents of mind. Rest in the space of the room, not the altar, the microphone, etc. Now, all of these are more or less the same thing.

[44:34]

They're all dealing with the difference between specificity and field. All your practice. Now, you can try to develop very specific skills, and when you count your breath, you're developing a specific skill of returning to your breath, say. And it helps you develop one-pointedness. And one-pointedness is maybe a narrow way to point it, but you can notice when you have one-pointedness. But just to be able to say, really concentrate and not hear noises and nobody disturbs you and you can read or write, this is a kind of concentration, but it's not really what we mean. That's excluding other things in order to stay concentrated. It's a skill, you know, school children should learn it.

[45:38]

You can notice, I can remember I noticed when I was younger, if I was with a group of practitioners at a table, say in a restaurant, I could make references to some, say, song in another room in the restaurant or some other place and bring it into the conversation. Everybody could follow the conversation because everybody heard the song and heard the words while they were concentrating. But with most people, they just hear this and they kind of cut out the song. I noticed when I was with practitioners, if there was some song like April in Paris going on. I could say, blah, blah, blah, but it's not even April. And they'd say, oh yes, but we're, and we're also not in Paris. Different kind of concentration than our usual sense of not wanting to be disturbed by some interference. In fact, as long as you can be easily disturbed by noises and stuff like that, you haven't developed this kind of consciousness, kind of awareness.

[46:53]

All of our practice is a process of developing these skills. I mean, if you just bring your attention to your walking, you're developing one-pointedness. If you bring your attention, your energy and attention equally to whatever is given to you, you're developing one-pointedness. And eventually, not as a separate skill, as I've said, it permeates your way of being. You just find yourself settled in each situation. And once you're settled in each situation, you can less and less find yourself in boundaries. You can less and less create divisions to protect that settledness. Now, again, I'm not saying you should be able to do this. I'm saying you should be able to hear what I'm saying. At least I hope you can hear what I'm saying.

[48:19]

Because if you can, and I think you can, I believe it speeds up, creates a kind of inner permission for letting practice develop. We don't notice what we don't notice, what we don't know. But if you know about something, you begin to notice it happening in you, in ourselves. Now, someone else brought up, What did I mean by, which I did go past fairly quickly yesterday, saying that sitting, the way I'd put it today, zazen posture, zazen is that posture which makes space for the Buddha. That make sense?

[49:19]

And what the Buddha is, is that which appears in this posture. You could do some other practice, dancing, or you could say, what did we call it here the other day? Buddha or something like that. Maybe techno or dancing or some other activity we have allows maybe Michael Jordan. Michael Jordan, I read the other day, more than most athletes, he emphasized stretching. More than exercising. He stretched all the time. Stretched before games, stretched after games. Every time he had a chance, he stretched. So maybe if someone emulated Michael Jordan and they stretched a lot and looked at him, they might make space for a Michael Jordan in them. Maybe I'll get taller if I try this.

[50:25]

And that may be why Michael couldn't play baseball when he tried to play baseball, because he never developed a Mickey Mantle in himself or something like that. What I'm saying is, you know, that this practice is very particular. I'm not trying to universalize it and say it's the best or something like that. I'm saying if you take this posture, which is big enough for two, you make space for the Buddha to appear in you. And your habit body then is the obstacle. Our usual body we can call our habit body, and our habit body becomes the obstacle which prevents Buddha from appearing in this posture. And when your habit body becomes fully the obstacle, it's an obstacle because it's... I mean, this is an obstacle of this when that's there.

[51:40]

Now it's not an obstacle at all. But now it's an obstacle, and if it's an obstacle, It means it knows this. So when your habit body becomes an obstacle, it's close to realizing Buddha. Does that make sense? Common sense. Kind of common sense. So it's a good way to think, ah, this posture's big enough for two. Buddha and you. So our practices, our practices, this way of life here, Crestone, this practice center, the three-month practice period. And again, I think it's, I don't like it when these new Buddhist groups in the West decide practice periods can be this length or that length, or sesshin can be three days.

[52:48]

You don't, I don't think there's an understanding of the practice. There's something to be said for a schedule for a 40-minute period or a 30-minute period or a three-month period. And they've been designed over a very long period of time to be a kind of posture over time which allows Buddha to appear, our bodhisattva practice to appear. Now, Wang Bo said to, Dogen recounts, how Wang Bo, one of the most, one of the ten teachers who, through John Lohfeld's book, influenced me very much in the early 60s. He said to a novice, and the novice happened to be the next emperor of China, but at that time he was just a novice in the monastery, What is right here?

[53:52]

Well, Togan goes on to say, well, let me add, what is right here, of course, is what's immediately given to us that we accept as This is it. This is already it. And this is our practice. To complete genjo koan, to complete what appears, to complete what is given to us. Okay, that's our practice. That's already quite a step in our life. come to that point to realize that and have developed enough of a calm abiding consciousness, a stabilized consciousness, that you can be present to just what's given to you. Usually our present is several stages down.

[55:03]

I mean, for instance, you usually have a headache for quite a while before you notice you have a headache, and you don't notice the thing that gave you the headache, the thought, the feeling. To be really present is you're present at the triggers of karma. Does that make sense? You're present when you first have the thing that says, oh, I can tell that's going to cause a headache, and you switch it off. But usually you notice you have a headache So the headache is in the past already because you're present to the headache but not present to when the headache occurred. Am I making sense? So to have a... If your consciousness is tangled up in comparisons, perceptions, it's always not in the present. When it's limpid, clear, pure, relaxed, relaxed, content, satisfied with just being alive.

[56:13]

Our happiness is really just the experience of being alive. When it's something more than that, you're in some kind of imaginary place. I mean, don't wait to your ten minutes before dying to be happy with just being alive. I feel like somebody said, you know, when you're about to die, the dharmas are unexpected. Something new is happening when you're about ready to die and your old habits don't help too much. So don't wait for new dharmas. Open yourself to new dharmas right now. Self-joyous samadhi of Dogen's is the joy of simply being alive.

[57:20]

This is actually what I mean by contentment. You don't need anything else. The simple pleasure of being alive. Now someone in Toksan, I hope you don't mind my describing this and probably changing it a bit, but they had an experience of a kind of source in themselves, or spring in themselves. That's a good experience. And then the things that came up, the usual habits of thinking and feeling, etc., seemed somewhat removed, or maybe like smoke or mist from the spring, or something they weren't connected with in the same way because they felt connected to the source, not to the stuff that appeared.

[58:28]

Does that make sense? But then this person said, how can I make use of this? Or what can I do with my energy or something? Now, this reaction is the reaction of habit consciousness. And all of us, when you have some recognition, and I think the real problem with our inability to really come into knowing one-pointedness, a non-interfering observing consciousness, etc., is because we need some kind of insights or recognitions, like a recognition of the source or spring where we can rest, which is very close, I think, to what I mean when I say the joy of simply being alive. And nothing else is needed.

[59:31]

You know, people add things, and you think, oh, this is interesting to add this, yes, and the newspaper says this. But it's like smoke. And you go along with it because the way we're compassionate with each other is discuss the newspaper and discuss things and stuff like that. I used to really watch Sukershi. It was so funny. people would come in and see him and he would have this drawn face. As soon as they went out, he'd start smiling again and everything. But he completely commiserated with them. And they felt, oh, he understands my suffering. He did, but then he was completely smiling, laughing. And sometimes he'd say to me, what's really bothering them? So I'd have to explain about psychology and things like that. Because sometimes he just didn't get what Westerners were going through. Sometimes I actually understood what they were going through better than he did, but I didn't help them at all.

[60:40]

They'd go in and see him, and they'd come out feeling wonderful, refreshed. Sometimes he didn't even really know. He just could connect with them. And... Yet this bodhisattva power, not an intellectual, naturally understanding. It was a different culture. So now, I often speak about awareness and consciousness and the importance of this distinction and experiencing awareness. And I said yesterday, awareness permeates consciousness. I'm running out of time, is that right? Eno says no.

[61:42]

Dinner at nine o'clock. No dinner, just a hot drink. Well, yeah. Limitless leg pain? No. Okay. So I'd like to finish this. I hope it doesn't take more than a few minutes. So I speak about awareness permeating consciousness. And you may get the feeling that when I speak that way, I mean that consciousness is bad or that consciousness is always a problem. No. What we need is a wisdom consciousness that transforms our habit consciousness. So I wanted to try to say what I meant by that a little bit, and I spoke about it yesterday without calling it a wisdom consciousness.

[62:52]

When you can see that you're cutting off mental nonsense, like the proliferation of smugness, say, You're not cutting off consciousness, you're cutting off some nonsense, you know, some unnecessary type thinking that drags us into kind of not feeling good and our stomach being a little uneasy and so forth. But that ability to cut off mental nonsense is a power of a wisdom consciousness. Now wisdom conscious, ordinary consciousness, habit consciousness, tends to see existence conceptually and as things appear as

[64:03]

permanent or inherent or etc. And that appearance and that conception of the world as that way is habit consciousness. And practicing the paramitas and so forth isn't sufficient to cut that off unless you empower your consciousness. Now I'm trying to figure out, I've never talked about this exactly this way before. What empowers consciousness? One is, for example, if you work with a phrase, a wisdom phrase, like this is already hit, it tends to develop an accurately assuming consciousness, an accomplished consciousness which sees things automatically as impermanent, immediately, with smoke.

[65:11]

Flash of lightning. Dew on the grass. Like that. And this wisdom consciousness is possible the more you develop a calm consciousness, consciousness that stays, that rests, has a certain stability. Consciousness that has a and which is permeated by awareness. For example, if I provoke you, I know you pretty well, and I know if I provoke one of you, anxiety comes out. If I provoke another one of you, anger comes out. If I provoke someone else, self-incrimination, I'm no good, comes out.

[66:15]

Actually, he was right all along. If I provoke someone else, self-pity comes out. It's quite predictable. That means that in... Underneath your calm exterior when you're feeling this way, right underneath is anger waiting to just provoke me or self-incrimination or something. So that means habit consciousness is lurking beneath the surface of you. Like a wild beast, you know. You're very nice most of the time, but you're quite ready to be angry. That's not what a bodhisattva is like. Right under the surface of a bodhisattva are the paramitas, generosity, patience, ethics or conduct, concentration.

[67:28]

And I think the best thing is to start with generosity again, and generosity is said to be limitless generosity for a limitless time. So you practice, and I think if you practice with generosity, see if you can find it in your first reaction to things, a sense of giving, being willing to give, as much as you can. I mean, don't destroy yourself. You don't overpower yourself, but feel the intention to be like that. Then you'll find that the other paramitas appear. In order to realize generosity, the first paramita, these other paramitas you'll have to develop to practice generosity. Now this is basic bodhisattva practice teaching. Now, a wisdom consciousness is a consciousness which slowly develops, sustains generosity rather than anger, say.

[68:47]

Or, well, let's go back to this example of Wong Bo and the novice. What is right here? Okay. What is right here is our practice of completing what is given to us. And as I said, you've developed quite a subtle consciousness when you can be present on in with each moment as it arises, as it infolds and unfolds, because it's not just a simple appearance. It's enfolded and you absorb it and unfolds. Okay, what happens when it unfolds? What is that moment of absorption that it's enfolded to and unfolded from? If it's enfolded to habit consciousness, it's suddenly stained with potential anger, self-pity, and all those things, and comes out and it's kind of like a flower that hasn't been watered.

[69:59]

Half-wilted. Who wants it? No, it's not so bad. Better than nothing. And then we try to water it. But what does Dogen say in relation to this question of Huan Bo's, to this imperial novice, is the actualization of Buddha nature, the actualization of Tathagatagarbha, the actualization of the paramitas. That this moment has room for two. That this moment also can appear The bodhisattva. Bodhisattva practice. Bodhisattva presence. So what we've done now is we've taken this practice of completing, which is more scientific, it's a kind of common sense you could make sense to almost anyone, completing what appears.

[71:09]

But as a Buddhist, you complete what appears by actualizing Buddha nature. And this is the power of a wisdom consciousness. Which means that a wisdom consciousness is present enough to notice and cut off the afflictions of habit consciousness. Habit consciousness has the afflictions of habit consciousness just under its surface. A wisdom consciousness has the paramitas under its surface. So this is what I meant by getting into the depth of the craft of practice. To see not just awareness, because awareness Awareness is important to realize and to feel, but we also have to transform our habit consciousness into a wisdom consciousness, and that's the essence of bodhisattva practice and how we should understand the paramitas.

[72:22]

Now, I wasn't very clear. I'm sorry. I haven't thought so much about how to express this. But I have a feeling you understand, and I have a feeling that you, each of you, has this altruistic aspiration to come into accord with others for the benefit of all beings, for the benefit of other beings. And I think each of you can taste this moment of engagement with the possibilities of realization with each other. If your intention is deep enough, it will happen. I'll give you a warranty on it. Two year warranty. Thank you very much.

[73:31]

If you have the strength to do that, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, [...] We are all part of a community of people who live in [...] a community Since you've been in this world, you have been blessed. All I want you to know is that you are not alone in this world. This is not a big deal, because it's not something you need to trust to go.

[74:41]

All I want you to know is that you are not alone in this world. You [...] are not alone in this world. Thank you. Thank you for watching.

[75:45]

And then the monster plagues us, penetrating into perfect darkness. It is greatly in measure. Even a hundred thousand men will help us. Having it to see and listen to, to remember and accept. I am your Lord Jesus, the truth, the clinic, the clinic of the spirit. Well, how are you all doing? The shih tzu says, fine, but he's a special character. You're despondent, joyful, surviving. At least you're not in as bad shape as the snow Easter bunny outside, who is in an advanced state of impermanence.

[77:04]

She broke Russell and Ikkyo in my heart coming in. Her carrot and her cucumber. But I don't know how to help, so I came in here. Yeah, and I guess all of you got somehow miraculously surprised Easter eggs. directly flown in at ruin's expense from Switzerland. Actually, they're a present from Gerald and Johanneshoff. It wasn't either Gerald or my idea, but I said to Gerald, somebody had this crazy idea of getting sprungly, is that how you pronounce it? Sprungly? Ate chocolate. At first I thought, and this person wanted 50, So I thought, my God, this person really has a chocolate addiction. That would be 50, that would be seven a day for each day of the Sashin.

[78:15]

Almost one for each period, you know. Easter, I forgot about Easter. But anyway, so they appeared on Easter, I brought them. I guess my plane leaves from Terminal A in Zurich And so Gerald asked, and they said, oh, Springley's in Terminal B. So I was not that early, but off Gerald went. Came back with his 50 chocolate eggs. Now Russell asked me a question, and I warned him, coming here, that you may all I wish he hadn't asked me this question because it's quite hard to answer. You can blame him. He asked me, why do we have to complete what appears?

[79:26]

Good question. Okay, so I'll try to answer. I mean, it's pretty obvious, but its obviousness, the results of its obviousness are not so obvious. Okay? Okay. So, a moment, each moment appears. Something is given to us. What is it made of? As I say, this world is not passive. What is it made of? Is it made of rock and air? Well, first of all, it's made of your perceptions and conceptions. At least that. It's also made of all kinds of other things. Let's start with your conceptions and perceptions.

[80:32]

And I had a little... bit of a stumble yesterday when I said appearance and conception of inherency. I thought, oh gosh. Yes, I should make that clearer what I mean. It's obvious again, but still, we have to kind of sort these things out. It helps. And I don't really know if this helps your practice to hear me try to explain this through. But it is central to practice. I mean, we're practicing Buddhism or Dharamism, and this is really central to Dharamism. And it's also, interestingly enough, in many ways very similar to one of our Western lineages, Heidegger's thinking. Not exactly the same, but quite similar. Now, our world, our Western world is, I think, I would say, based primarily on an idea of permanency, that things are permanent.

[81:58]

It's in our language, it's the way our language grammar is structured. I mean, it's in simple things like saying, it rains. I mean, there's no it that rains, obviously. I mean, if there is, go out and find it for me. I tell my daughter when she told me it rained, I said, oh, go out and find me that it, would you? And as I've told you before, she said, dad, don't be so zen. But that's some kind of idea of permanency, that there's a thing that's doing the raining. But actually, rain is raining. Raining is raining. But this is a habit of human beings. It's also true in Asia. Within Asia, there's these yogic teachings based on meditation practice, which do things like we're doing, that sit you down in the middle of your stuff, and you find yourself flowing in the middle of sitting still.

[83:07]

Now, a lot derives from that. And so I would say that Buddhist yogic culture is based, you all know this, on everything changing, but what really are the implications of everything changing? Dogen says, the blue mountains are walking. That's his way of saying everything's changing. What does he mean, the blue mountains are walking? Okay, now what are the antidotes in our prescriptive heart sutra that we chant for appearance? The world tends to appear as inherent. The antidote are the practice of the vijnanas. When you begin to develop the habit of practicing the vijnanas, of seeing each thing, of seeing your own seeing, of hearing your own hearing, you simply, after a while, don't hear an object, you hear your hearing of the object.

[84:26]

That's vijnana practice. So what interferes with the conception of the world as inherent and permanent. Okay? Now this is the main delusion in Buddhism, is just the habit of seeing the world as inherent and permanent. And as I say, there's, you know, many of the subtle forms of a belief, basically a belief in inherency, although intellectually you don't, all of you don't believe in it. But every time you're thinking, your attention returns to your thinking, means basically you believe in permanence. Or you're thinking, if you really didn't believe in permanence, there'd be no reason for your attention to return to thinking, establishing the world in the future as somehow permanent. There's a subtle implication of permanence

[85:33]

in finding your continuity in your thinking rather than in your body, breath and phenomena. Okay. So what the skandhas are doing and the vijnanas are doing, these two main prescriptive remedies to inherency and permanency, is you're bringing your attention, I keep saying, away from continuity in your thinking. Not away from your thinking, but away from the sense of your finding your continuity in your thinking to finding your continuity in the four foundations of mindfulness, in phenomena, etc. Now, we have a habit of naming One of the things we're trying to do, to practice, is to break through the habit of naming, to begin to peel the names off things.

[86:40]

You look at something and you see a tree, as I say, and you start seeing treeing, and you peel the name off it. As long as you see the names, as long as what you habitually first recognize are the names, then you have a subtle belief in permanency and inherency. If you think that you don't have to complete the moment, basically you believe in God. Because you believe in a world that's outside you and somehow going on separate from you, and that's basically a theological idea. Now, the skandhas, developing the habit of seeing things in terms of form, feeling, perceptions, gathering, and consciousness, takes away the habit of naming, because you see the process of your forming an object in your consciousness.

[88:06]

Once you see the process and you get in the habit of seeing it,

[88:10]

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