They don't want you in their field, not in these days. So I can disagree, stay there and discuss, but I also feel that the discussion does not work because then I'm too much a stranger for them. I cannot go along, but I feel I... I should stay in contact with them because I'm very different from them and I could do something maybe, but I don't know what. I went back to what you said yesterday, that you should go with people for a while, no matter what they do, even if you think it's wrong. And he said, of course, it depends on how wrong it is.

[01:01]

And I ask myself, where is the point and what do I do from the point where I think it is too wrong? And I work in Schwerin and there I know a lot of 18-year-old boys who hang out in our drugstore and who now, with whom I understand myself well, about teenagers who do not accept me. and at the same time they say that I have to go out and kill them. Islam and what is going on in their heads is something that has to be eliminated. For example, I do not know how to deal with them now. When I start to discuss with them, I leave this field and I also notice that I no longer reach them. It is not something where I can go with them, because it is too wrong for what I think. Well. First of all, I mean, we're talking about an attitude.

[02:22]

Your attitude is to try to be there where they're at. But you can't always do it. Yeah. You can't turn this into a fixed thing. I have to do it this way or that way. First of all, it's an attitude. Hold that attitude in the situation. And even if you can't go along with what they're saying or feeling, if you have an attitude of being open to it, Yeah, something more subtle happens. That's all you can do.

[03:43]

You know, avalokiteshvara, one of the definitions of avalokiteshvara is the one who, when he or she meets a thief, becomes a thief. It means you start from where a person is. What does it mean to start where the other person is now? But obviously there's limits. A crazy person comes in this room, I hope we try to stop them. I'm not going to go out and reason with them. But But if in your mind you have the strong feeling, though you're not saying it, these people are wrong, that's not going along with it.

[04:57]

They're also right. And when I look at the this is pure speculation, but when I look at the extent I can look at the anthropological record of apes to man, there's other ancestors, not our ancestors, but other early, somewhere between... ape and a man that I think we're probably better than we are. But our ancient ancestors wiped them out. We're the most vicious strain that survived.

[06:08]

We eliminated the nicer guys. So now our Buddhism and such teachings are to try to bring that back into our mind. There are consequences in America. There's been a hundred or more anti-Arab acts so far. And one, you know, that's an airline pilot who refused to fly. He was an Arab businessman. young guy, I just showed a picture of him, who was flying first class and the pilot came out and said, I'm sorry, I'm not flying this airplane if you're on it. And he and the stewardess, he had to get off and take his bags and leave.

[07:11]

But, you know, there's causes, I mean, there's Sit down somewhere, anywhere you'd like. There's a cushion up here if you'd like. So there's causes and results and somehow we're going to have to live with it. Yeah, something else, yes. Yes. Don't we have a responsibility of diminishing the sufferings of other persons or even to see that they don't suffer at all?

[08:12]

Well, as long as they're not your disciple. Yes. Yes. Wäre es nicht in dem Fall von den Jugendlichen, wäre es da nicht eine Möglichkeit, das einfach in Theater umzusetzen? Also die Lust zu spielen, diese Wortlust und dann auf der anderen Seite eben, müssen sie dann auch erfahren, wie das ist, umgebracht zu werden, also irgendwie symbolisch ins Theater das umzusetzen. Ja, das mache ich. Wouldn't there be a possibility with these youths to act that out in a theater and not just have the real experience of what she's doing? You're working with the boyfriends or the girlfriends?

[09:18]

Are you working with the boyfriends or the girlfriends? Boys and girls. Oh, I see both. But there's a group of boys. Could hang around the actresses. No, no, they play. Oh, I see. We'll get them to start a war game. Start a war game. In the moment, it's for me. Maybe because they feel that I think that they are wrong. It's not possible to put it in the direction of any kind of gain. Yeah, well, we're in that situation. Yes? You spoke earlier about not having an expectation

[10:23]

but having a feeling of readiness. And that kind of charged the feeling for me of sitting on the edge of my seat. I felt that readiness in a way that is not, for me, feeling quite as passive as could or should. There was some more body sense or edge of my seat sense. Roshi spoke about this feeling of being ready and that I felt as if something was loading up at the edge of my seat. And in the could or should, there is more passivity in it, so far I have understood. And I wanted to get a feeling from you about how we can more actively bring that feeling of readiness to creating a Buddhafield.

[11:30]

Well, I mean, you know, now that you have that feeling, do that. So where you have this feeling now, just do it. But the sense of uniqueness or absoluteness of each moment is inseparable from the feeling of readiness. And when you have that feeling, as you noticed, your energy is very different. Now, of course, this has psychological aspects. You know, if a person is in moods and they're depressed, etc., if they can find a way to reconceive how this life happens to us,

[12:40]

A kind of existential understanding like that can undercut a lot of psychological stuff that's carried from moment to moment. Something else? For a time I worked in a sailing ship with right wing youths. And at the beginning it was really difficult but then what worked was then when we had the concept of leaving every concept away.

[14:00]

We just reacted or looked what happened and we really had someone who wanted to kill another person. We didn't say that was good, that was bad. We just took him away and then we looked at the situation and said, why did that come up? Sounds like a dangerous sailing ship. We did that for one year. It was a kind of experiment? Or you just happened to be on the ship with all these guys? Mutiny on the body. It was an, oh, I couldn't translate this. It was a very special pedagogic measure. Okay. So you decided to go on a boat ride with them. That's great. It worked. I was on a ship once. The name of the ship was the... Robin Locksley.

[15:44]

The ownership of the company had changed. And so the... The new company had a different union. So the NMU, the National Maritime Union, stuck an ex-champion boxer on our ship to beat us up. That's just an anecdote. And he was a nice guy. He'd fought Rocky Marciano and... He was a sweet guy. But he was supposed to beat us up. Because I belonged to the other unions. And just before we got, after being in Africa, got back to New York,

[16:47]

He hadn't beaten anyone up yet. Because we all became friends with him. One night he got really drunk. And when you go into harbor, the sailors would buy unbelievable amounts of alcohol. And they'd hide it everywhere. Anything you open was full of bottles, beer. It was sort of hidden. And after it's hidden better and better the farther away you get from port. Because the supply gets less. So he went around from room to room having a friendly drink with everyone. And seeing where they hid the liquor. And the second or third time around, they wouldn't let him in.

[18:02]

So he got to my door and the guy I was with, Jake Otreba, wouldn't let him in. So he took one of these big fire extinguishers, beating our door. So I climbed out through the porthole. I wasn't scared of him, so I just climbed out of the porthole and went. Jake was too big to climb through the porthole. And I went and sat in the dining hall, because there was too much commotion, and was reading Proust or something like that. And this guy came in, I can't remember his name, at some point around midnight.

[19:02]

And I, after a while, we were kind of talking, and I started to leave, and he decided I shouldn't leave. So I'd start to walk by him, and he'd go with his arm, just like that, you know, and I'd go across the room. You know, because he just, he would barely touch me, and I could, boom. So I sat down, and we talked some more, and then he... Then he put his hands on my head like this and began to squeeze my skull. He said, I could crush your head like a grape. I said, yeah, I know, yeah. Ha, ha. But then finally he got bored.

[20:20]

Every now and then he'd take my head again, but then he said, at some point he was just sitting, and my friend was there, Earl, and he said, come on out of there. So I just walked by him. The next day he was actually handcuffed in irons. They got him. He was carried off the boat when he got to New York, all wrapped in chains, literally. Because they have no prison cells, so they wrap him completely up. I realized in chains means something. But it sounds like I had a holiday trip compared to you. I would like to talk about an experience concerning the Buddha field. During my holidays, during six weeks, I was in Portugal and every morning I did Tai Chi.

[21:54]

And that was quite ambitious. I did this regularly without a break and there was a special series of practices which I always started every morning with. I found a very beautiful place from 7.30 to 8.30 and at that time the sun went up and I had a very beautiful look over the valley. Through this holiday situation I could leave every thought away which I would have to do or should have to do later on. Through that I had the possibility of being in a very special space which created itself in which I could do my practices.

[23:36]

When I'd come home again I wanted to continue with these practices and actually I had wanted to do them in the park but it just didn't work so I did them at home in my flat. Here in Berlin? Yes. So I open the window because this is a place where I'm always doing it also in winter, but before the window there's a beautiful tree, and so I open both windows. Of course it was not the same field in the same situation, it just didn't reproduce like in Portugal.

[24:54]

And then looking back I see that I sort of dealt with the idea that was what should have happened or should happen and what could happen. situation einlassen konnte und ich habe mich dann direkt auf diesen Baum eingelassen und auf die Blätter, wie sich die Blätter belegten, während ich die Blumen machte. Je mehr ich mich nur darauf einließ und darauf konzentrierte, umso mehr entstand wieder so ein Gefühl wie in Portugal, obwohl es natürlich bei der Raum ganz anders war, auch ein ganz anderes Gefühl. The boycott related to the tree outside my window and to the leaves and how it was moving. There again appeared a feud. It wasn't exactly the same feud like in Portugal because circumstances were different, but it was similar and it went to the same direction.

[26:19]

And I believe that body exercises are a good opportunity to experiment with such a field. And I think that these bodily practices are a very good possibility to practice with these things, these fields. I wasn't conscious of experimenting or dealing with the Buddha field, but it was like that. I experienced it quite consciously. I think, yeah, I understand. I think I understand. For some reason it also helps to do things regularly. Not only because Regularity is good.

[27:25]

Or repetition is good. But because taking choice away is good. You just do it. Like your heart beats, you don't have to make decisions. You just do certain things. And once you know that sense that you had in Portugal and in Berlin, it's of course contextual. But that sense of a Sense can be present anytime, not just when you do tai chi or qigong or something. If you can recover that feeling or your body knows that feeling of the tree and you at that time,

[28:29]

Even each of us can be leaves of that tree. One of the things that one last characteristic of this sense of a wide mind. Inclusive mind. Inclusive of certain dynamics that bring actuality, that presents actuality. It's also a kind of ease and joyousness. like late one afternoon, you might suddenly feel you're in the middle of the world.

[30:14]

And accompanying it is a sense that you don't have any time. I mean, most of us, I mean, usually our usual mind is, we feel, oh, we've got plenty of time for this, I can do it tomorrow or whatever. No, that's normal in relationship to something you have to do. But that feeling also is the way we view our life too or something. We feel we have a lot of time, endless time. This sense of sidestepping into uniqueness, you don't have any time anymore.

[31:39]

The uniqueness seems to be the only time you have. And it changes how you are All you have is the fullness of the presence, fullness to fully give yourself to the immediacy, to immediacy. There's no time to do anything else. Anyway, just to say one of the aspects of this wide and joyous mind This soil of ground of Buddha nature is one of the noticeable things.

[32:50]

You know, we could say radical different sense of time. Yes. I am particularly proud of these three days. And before that, I would like to talk a little more about it, because I have had an experience where I have been with a psychiatrist who has been with me for four years. I'm especially grateful to be here, and I won't dare to take this opportunity to speak about something for a little longer. This concerns an experience I had over the last four years. Exactly four years ago, my husband got a very severe, as it turned out later, cancer.

[34:10]

Exactly four years ago, my husband, Bruno, got ill on a severe disease which turned later on to be cancer. The main experience, I think, that I had was, among other things, that this time turned into a The main experience I had was that this time had intensified enormously and also strained enormously the experiences I made, the sense of time. There also was a lot of fear in that time. Die Angst ging so weit, dass ich mir nicht vorstellen konnte, weiterzuleben, wenn er sterben würde. And it went as far that I couldn't imagine going on to live after my husband had died.

[35:18]

Ich bin Bruno sehr dankbar, dass er diese Krankheit nie begriffen hat als ein besonderes Unglück oder Schicksal, was ihn nicht angeht. And I was very especially grateful to Bruno that he did not understand his disease as something which he didn't have anything to do with, but it was also something he also had produced. so that it was possible for him to recognize and see the life in this disease. And he used to produce every day, write several texts, little texts, like Haiku, like poems, in which he wrote down his experiences of the day.

[36:44]

And for me this was especially important because in that way we had an exchange among ourselves which wasn't commented upon. A very small example of this was now in March, when the cancer was particularly bad for him. He had developed a brain metastasis and was treated and was back at home and had to get an infusion. And there he wrote, with the infusion stand through the apartment, what has become possible for me in terms of life. And in March of this year, the disease had gotten worse and worse, and there were disseminations in the brain. And after a term in hospital, he came back and had got infusions, and he came home with his infusions and had them on a little sort of, you drove them along, and

[38:05]

comes with this infusion, he wrote, with this infusion stand, what is still through this flat, through the flat with this infusion wheel, cart, what is possible for me, what living is possible for me now? In February, when I was still in great fear, And in February, when I was still in great fear, I found Johanneshof and was one week there with you. And you talked about the time, feeling time instead of clock time.

[39:07]

I had a dream in Johanneshof where I dreamed that I would have a baby, but because I was too old, I couldn't have the baby myself, and that another woman would have the baby for me. But she said, so that you know, it's your baby. And I came to Johanneshof with a dream, and I had been pregnant, but it was too old to really give birth to the baby, so another woman sort of carried the baby for me, but insisted upon that it's your baby, don't forget it. About the first sentence you said, that we all carry a yogic baby in us, and I thought, oh, there is the baby again. berichtet und das Ganze war zentriert um den Begriff quickening.

[40:16]

So then you talked about the baby and your wife and pregnancy and about Barbara Duden's book and about the sense of quickening. Ich bin aus dem Johanneshof dann nach Hause gekommen mit den tapes im Gepäck. And they came back from the Johanneshof with the tapes, yeah? Yes. So we had the opportunity with my husband Bruno to listen to them together. When all things are buddhidharma. That was this half sentence we pondered about for several weeks. You encouraged us to take a seat in a real photo to have a better look of you and things. In the first half hour, Bruno had tremendous difficulties to understand your way of viewing or looking at things.

[41:39]

And he always said, it's interesting, but I don't understand it, I don't get it. Then suddenly the change came. When he was healthy, we regularly sat together in sickness. And Zen Buddhism was actually strange. And then when he was still healthy we had sat regularly together in the way of Zen Buddhism so this wasn't strange to him. And the 7th of January when I came back he wrote a little text. One of these thousands and thousands of lucky stars caught shining from without, shining from within. Quickening.

[42:40]

Quickening. And I was writing a letter to you and reporting my experience and you said, send him this little poem. And you thought normally he would never have did that before because they weren't worth it. This wonderful feeling of quickening, that something is alive in us, whether in great distress, in great despair, in great pain, in times when it is also very, very bad, that this living could be retained, also has to do with this encounter. And there's this living thing, this something alive which is in this quickening and this one in time of desperation and good pain and fear sort of didn't disappear and this has got something to do with that.

[43:45]

So Bruno died last Sunday and until one week before he could still hold up his way of expressing himself by talking and writing as we knew it. And then the last week came. And I was very glad that we had created a ritual of sitting and breathing in the bell so that I didn't have the feeling I couldn't reach him anymore. Es war zwar dunkel, die Dunkel, und es war auch immer sehr viel zu tun, das darf man sich nicht wegdenken, es war eine Fülle von praktischen Arbeit zu leisten, und es wäre vielleicht gar nicht leicht gewesen, auch eine andere Art von Präsenz bereitzuhalten.

[45:23]

It was somewhat dark, but also there were a lot of real practical things to do, so that it would have been difficult to hold up another kind of presence. I wouldn't have been able to say it like that if I hadn't received words and context from you here, that we might have held ourselves up in a so-called buddha field, probably. And I wouldn't have been able to express all this, what I'm doing now, if I hadn't gotten words and a context from you, so that I now can say that my husband and I sort of would have been, have been in something like a Buddha field at that time. I think we're done. And I think we were related to each other and also somewhat mysteriously because when he changed his breathing when I was present.

[46:33]

And he once again opened his eyes and with his short breathing, which was without fear and without fighting, a quarter of an hour later he closed his eyes finally and was completely with him. And it wasn't frightening to see him dead because it really looked as if he was sleeping. Or as if he would be saying something. Feel sort of robbed but enriched and grateful. So that my compassion for the people in New York is also especially there because their beloved ones have disappeared, have gone.

[47:55]

Two and a half years ago, during a cancer operation, my husband Bruno got a coronary closure. It had nearly died. So I have, from that time, that experience when something like this happens, suddenly how this is. When the farewell happens so slowly, is that perhaps also the, so we come back to the term of time, what time has for an importance, that the soul or that you can realize it yourself at all, what happens there, that not everything happens in one moment. So again we notice how important time is that the parting can take time or that can take its time over a long period and this doesn't happen suddenly. That's why I'm so grateful. Thank you for telling us about it.

[49:13]

Thank you. Danke, dass du uns das erzählt hast. The gift a person who is dying can give us, I don't know if this makes sense, but is the field of dying. Because the field of dying is also the field of living. We're most living when we're actually ready to die. Dare I say, it almost doesn't make any difference. You're willing to stay alive. And you're willing to die. This is some kind of healthy attitude.

[50:16]

Healthy attitude. Yeah. So we'll have lunch soon. Yeah, and... I would like you to kind of experiment with the feeling of a Buddha field. Some sense, maybe like Dagmar mentioned, some experience we've had that feels like what we've been talking about. And it really helps to imagine, even in what seems like a mechanical or primitive way, The sense of a field. The sense of a mandala or presence.

[51:19]

In which everything is center. Each thing is center. And, you know, you can experiment, as I've said before, like you look at a tree and see the space of a tree. If I look at you, I can feel the space of each one of you, not just your usual form. But also I can feel the space of all of us together. And there's They kind of like flow in and out of each other, the space of each of you and the space of all of us.

[52:23]

It's sort of like the sky which allows the sun again. But each sky is particular. So you see the space of a tree, say. If there's two trees, it's the space of each and it's the space of both. So if in a kind of mechanical way you experiment with noticing that, it awakens more and more the possibility of really feeling it. So don't wait for some big special experience. Right now, in a sort of ordinary way, get a feeling for these things.

[53:32]

You exercise your powers. Okay, so let's sit for a moment and then we... is including that airplane, the sounds and other floors. And then you can let your ears Bring this field to you. This field is more real than any future. The word real has any meaning. What happens next may or may not happen.

[54:48]

But this is happening. We're alive as long as we're alive. This field is our appearance in this field.

[56:04]

And that's a kind of courage or speech even, subtle speech. So as you might guess, I'd like to have some report from the groups.

[57:31]

So who's going to show their courage first? I know the Some people start to put their hands up, but they don't want to be the first to show their courage. So the ones who are willing to be second to show their courage can go first. Yes? If you want to, yeah. Every other word. Why not in German first? Can you hear in the back? Not so well, yeah. we had basically two perspectives in relation to Buddhafield.

[58:46]

One was more the aspect that a Buddhafield is a field between people or a whole field in which there are two or more people and a certain relationship or a certain energy between a person. Und die andere Perspektive von Bruderfeld war eher so ein Gewahrsein eines einzigartigen Augenblicks, indem den also ganz intensiv zu spüren, mit all den offenen Möglichkeiten, die so ein Moment hat. Und wir in unserer Gruppe haben eben entweder have experienced and told us about themselves, who have either written such a moment or just such an experience with a field of energy under a person.

[59:52]

That's how I would sum it up. Would you like to add something? They agree that the way I made a resume was all right. Okay. But if you have something to add, you can add. Yeah, go ahead. So each of us related an experience or several experiences. what each of us brought into connection with the current Buddha field. And from that, it emerged kind of two different aspects of Buddha field. One aspect was more the field characteristics, but it's a field where two or more people are in relation to each other.

[60:56]

There is a kind of energy field or certain awareness that is shared by two or more people. And the other aspect was more the uniqueness of a moment that is intensely felt with all the possibilities that such an open and unique moment has. So we felt that could be called Buddha field also. Though we were not sure, but it was the feeling. Other than I trust the feeling. Okay, good. Some other, yeah, some other group? Yes. and one participant described that in a difficult situation with her daughter, who lived with Edmund, where the connection was almost broken, she could still feel at any time that if her daughter did not call her from time to time, she knew right away that she would call.

[62:24]

And because of that she felt some kind of connection. And that led us to think that a Rudder Feld is a field of relationship, that is, what we share with other people, with many people, with few or only with one other person. as Doris then noticed, she had previously described the process of strength of her husband, where she also described how connected they were in this process, and that she would also call it Buddhafield. But then another aspect came in that we said that it also has to do, beyond the relationship with other people, perhaps also only with our own perception.

[63:37]

So if we change our own perception, do we create the Buddha field? And from this came another question, do we create the Buddha field or is the Buddha field always already there and we only create under certain conditions an access to this Buddha field? This remained somewhat open, And then various areas of perception were described, partly also triggered by drug experiences, where this closeness and intensity of the field of relationship can also become a flower. And is that also a good field? And another typical interpersonal area is simply being in love, where we suddenly live in a world where everything is right and we act in it.

[64:52]

That means whatever we do feels right. And how can we create and create this field in this way? And then someone noticed that there is an old song in which it is about tenderness. I also wonder what Camus, for example, has to do with the delicate equality of the world. Is that something that is also meant with a buddha field? And there is another participant who wrote a very interesting The result that she had or that connects her with equality is that in a situation on the beach where she felt almost threatened by a sandstorm, where the situation became very dangerous, she suddenly had a very equal feeling about her own life and that was really in an area where she could have died.

[66:11]

and then a short time later met a dog and attacked her and she then had such an elementary feeling that she said if the dog had attacked her now, she would have killed this dog and that would have all suddenly been so equal in the sense that she would not have taken care of her own life and would not have taken care of the life of this dog. and that this would have been a very deep-rooted experience for them. We just tried to integrate everything under this aspect of the Buddha field. And on the next day, we will also ask whether this is also connected to this daily equality of the world. Sounds like your group met for about an hour longer than Katrin's. English. We started with the question, what is the Buddha field?

[67:33]

And one person said she had the experience when her daughter lived in England and she had a kind of separated connection to her, and a difficult connection. A broken connection. A broken kind of connection. She always knew when the daughter would phone her. A little bit in advance. So in this sense she could feel still a working connection with her daughter. And she said that probably was something like that. Then we said, okay, has it just to do with connection or relationship between people?

[68:39]

Or can the Buddha field also be something when we shift just our consciousness to awareness, so just with ourselves? And in this question another question came up, is the Buddha field something we create or something that is always there and we just have to have the awareness or the access to this kind of field? And then we spoke about, because Doris was in our group, we talked about this experience with dying people and also on the other side the feeling of being in love with another person. partly similar of this experience that the world is just right as it is.

[69:49]

And we also act in this world that everything is just in place and okay. And that leads to an old song about tenderness and I remember the phrase from Camus' piece, The Stranger, where at the end, after all this and she is in the prison, he just saw the stars at night, the night before he will be killed. Executed. Executed. And she said, there's a... And suddenly I recognized the... the tender indifference or equanimity of the world.

[71:01]

Then another person described with this kind of feeling of indifference or equanimity Equanimity. She has a quite a different experience. Once when she was at a beach and a storm came up and suddenly she felt she was threatened or she was in a kind of danger but she didn't feel the danger, she felt Really, it's okay when I die now in this storm. And after a short walk, she came. She was safe, and a dog was outside in the garden, and a bell barking at her. And she also had this kind of weird feeling, if the dog is not coming, I will kill the dog. I don't care about nothing.

[72:06]

I don't care about my life. I don't care about the life of a dog. So the question was, is this also a kind of Buddha field? Or is it... Yeah, what is it? Okay. Okay, someone else? In a few minutes. I would like to answer that group. Okay. Not all. We have talked about the fact that if you have experience or an impression of what we call Böderfeld or what we think of it, When we feel or think that we have a sense for what we call or think is a Buddhafield, that it has a quality then of slowness.

[73:21]

The slower it gets, the slower the thoughts get, the more intense the feeling itself will become. Okay. All right. The experience, yeah. As I think most of you know, I like, I found it good when you speak about practice in German, in your own language. And part of the development of practice is is to speak about it, but the deeper sense of speaking, a kind of awareness that our practice evolves through others.

[74:32]

Just the sense of a sangha and a teacher means your practice is maturing through your relationship with others. And in the triad of body, speech and mind. This sense of kind of sustaining the breath of the texture of the world or fabric of the world or something. is the body part. The body as a field.

[75:46]

And speech is the sense of the, of manifesting this field or feeling, knowing this field with others. Which may be being completely silent. Or knowing how to speak about it without losing a feeling of silence. So speech in the triad of body, speech and mind, speech means the desire to be generous, to communicate with others and also to receive from others. And my example the other day of just yesterday saying, like with my daughter saying, I am here.

[77:02]

Or to practice with you, it's just, I'm here. And you know what my main job is in life? To have a known address. Yeah. So that if I'm practicing, if anyone wants to practice with me, I can be found. So the address is a kind of speech. If you don't find me, it's okay. But I might want to find you. Okay. So somehow it really helps if we have some experience in trying to speak about practice with others. And recognize how we're all in the same situation together somehow through practice.

[78:19]

Okay, so that's only two groups, right? There's a couple more, two or three more. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In our group we mainly talked about the sentence about what is, what could be and what should be, the possibilities. And of course, the way he felt something or touched it.

[79:30]

He opened the room and sometimes he thought that, of course, often, yes, also in our society, it is used so restrictively, especially in education, to say, you should be like this or you have to do this and that. So that's how it is. And the different experiences the people in our group had with these could be and should be that for some this in our group this opened up possibilities and others had more of the experience that you should be like that and you shouldn't do that and you know like this sort of closing in borders and limitations. That's terrible. Yeah. Okay, yeah. In between we have breaks of silence.

[80:32]

That we were silent was also due to the fact that we had partly the, we feared that talking about these experiences sort of they might slip away. Okay? All right, good, thank you. That's three. You know what the five fears are? Fear of loss of fear of death.

[81:59]

Fear of loss of reputation. Fear of loss of livelihood. Fear of unusual states of mind. And fear of speaking before an assembly. The latter is actually the most subtle. It's like when your society is going wrong, can you speak out in it? Or do you go along with what's safe? There's no real danger here, so let's hear from the other two groups. Say something?

[83:12]

Yeah, sure. I was only partly in one group but it started with a report from an experience with children. One person said that he sat in his flat on the floor all alone in the dark and he had a sensation when the child was ill or sick, he felt it in him right away, even before the child said something or cried out. and there was another experience another person had being pregnant and it was very hot in the summer and it was in a crowded big store and and everyone everything was rushing around and being nervous and hectic and there was inside this hectic place and atmosphere there was a field of calmness, of stillness, which couldn't be disturbed. And so we just asked ourselves, what is a Buddha field?

[84:15]

And these were some of the the participation to that and also when a child is very sick again there was another example the child has been operated and you don't know if it will survive or not that there comes a calmness, a stillness, a concentration within this chaos and tenseness which we use as an example I'll say it in German again. We asked ourselves what the Buddhafield is. There was once the example that you sit in the apartment at night and meditate and suddenly you know that the child will say something. He will scream that he is sick or something. You feel it in your own body. That's one. The other is that someone is pregnant and goes into a big heat, where everything is urgent, nervous, and hectic.

[85:16]

And yet she has such a feeling of silence, of peace, like a field feeling. Or a child is very sick and there is actually a lot to do. There are actually great fears and great tension and great insecurity. You were in the group up there that looked kind of depressed. What did you... We didn't like to talk about that. Oh. That was outside. Yeah. Okay, well you have nothing to report then.

[86:16]

Is that everyone? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. On the one hand we have what Helga is explaining. I think of Matthias Gutwald's painting The Resurrected Christ, because you can see the cultural heritage here, and on the back of this medal, the suffering. As I see it from the Hall of Sanctus, we have on the one hand, on the back, the Wohinberg, and on the front the cultural heritage. English? It is the two sides of a coin.

[87:42]

This is the suffering and this is the sort of giving of life. And the example is Matthias Grünwald's picture and Sanssouci, two sides. Was war das dritte? The mountain of ruins, and the light, and the suffering, and the life, the sun. And bringing this together has something to do with the Buddhafield for me too. This is you personally, or your group was spoken? It's something of the group. I see, okay. Good, thank you. Well, I think having some experience of some kind of field is helpful in practice.

[88:47]

Just to see the mind as a field in which objects appear is helpful. If you only see the objects, thoughts, sort of, you know, you're rather caught then by the objects of thought. If you're caught by it. But if you can more see the field of mind in which things float to the surface, so to speak, Yeah, and can shift your sense of identification to the field of mind from the objects of mind.

[89:48]

You also change the direction of mind. So instead of the mind always going towards objects or going towards something exciting or interesting, the mind tends to go toward the dissolving of the objects. the direction of the mind is toward the field of objects. I mean the field of mind. And there's a kind of relaxation always. But if you don't have an actual experience of the field of mind, Then the objects of mind are always more interesting or something like that.

[91:02]

The image is something like waves. If you identify with the waves, that's not the water or the ocean. But as I've said the other day, the shape of a wave is the effort of the wave to return to the water, to the ocean. So after a while it gets those thoughts and moods and things appear, but there's a kind of relaxation of things.

[92:02]

Things tend to return to being the field of mind itself. It doesn't mean you don't think. It just means you can feel your thoughts appear and sort of relax back, dissolve back into the mind itself. And when you tend to have that kind of experience, it somehow begins to extend to phenomena, Because of course phenomena are something you're perceiving too.

[93:05]

And everything points at mind. It points at the object and it points back at mind in which the perception arose. Most of you know this and have some experience of this. But as this gets established in us, we live in quite a different world. Most of the obstacles of life tend to disappear. So just getting a sense of this, feeling rather than thinking the world, creates a basis for practice development. Now, just some kind of experience of the world and being as a field is not a Buddha field.

[94:13]

To listen to, to be able to feel, know when someone's going to phone you is not a Buddha field. That's a non-telephone field. I mean, I like to use the term that the American Indians use, a long body.

[95:01]

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