Benefits of Meditation for Self and Others Serial 00004

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Benefits of Meditation for Self and Others

Taught by: Jetsun Kushok

Interpreted by: Richard Barron (Chokyi Nyima)

 

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so today
the initial up all us by organizing this old call say some words on personal practice
benefits for yourself and for others
about to begin to apply the basic principles of down
and
i would like to emphasize was this topic most of what i'm saying a small will be a personal observations not a all down a discourse that all of us all things that i can help all my own experience and applying practice in the article on regular way
neither the most of you will not all of who are practicing of probably receive patients from other long as the various traditional so a lot of these i don't want to know who are beginners and social vocal radicals concepts for my needs a little familiar
you need the courage that always help overhearing basically over and over again
what better
who practice personal practice on a daily level begins from the moment will way out
that is to say when you first wake up and begin conducting a daily routines or washing preparing breakfast and football was taking care of their physicals
that's also the time when you have the most
opportunity and derive the most
effective results from personal practice or from establish a morning who were part of getting up as well as a whole washing yourself dressing yourself hating himself
once all of them for than taken care of when you put a couple put aside some time to sit on your patient and practice in policies in terms of establishing personal of there are some fairly practical
points which need to be taken consideration things such as environmental your back in diet for you nourish yourself with the kind of people will surround you all of these are very important battles in determining the effectiveness of your crackles
security environment purity of diable charity and companionship and what this essentially means in the to
find it environment as much as possible that does not cause you any anxieties and fears you not terrified of people the burglarizing you or or on the other on one hand there's no fear or anxiety medicines on the other hand you're not constantly subject to noise and distraction especially
and when you try to practice and this is the ideal will try to establish an environment that he says conducive as possible to quiet
the abilities will get on the practice diet again for handling for the part that we will maintain a healthy lifestyle and a healthy diet sodas your general constitution is strong and stable you do not suffer from illness and rehabilitation that will be your medication
and as well the kind of companion for new shoes are very important people who do not disturb your mind with all kinds of the fifth of emotions and do not continually cause without distraction to arise in your room in your practice the rather people who are able to work harmoniously with and be supports
to your spiritual development so all of these different factors and environmental diet and companionship so far more important than we realize in terms of establishing good practice
this is especially true when you're engaged in formal practice that the environment than you choose for your regular sessions and meditation as a as a practitioner heart environments that are quiet and distracting can visit to the cultivation of good meditation for this means
to the extent that you're able to youtube and environment that is free of noise be a distraction free of any kind of influence or interference that might
i'll take your attention your energy away from practice whether you're practicing in the daytime or the evening and nighttime whenever you set aside during the day time for your practice you should try to ensure it when the environment is a supportive and conditioning possible
we could fired are you will hate me happy
that they will have to try to hit watch you have
yankee must be coming through which oh i see i didn't even adults sorry can cater
can
he wanted
the next important point that you need to pay attention to his physical posture and again and again we find reference and traditional literature that the poster's should be comfortable but when you sit on your cushion to meditate as much as possible you adopt correct meditation posture but it is meant to be comfortable if you're in an uncomfortable
or cramped posture you can't expect your mind to develop good meditation you will be enjoying the process and on the fighting it all way so as much as possible you keep the body erect
it's preferable not to lean against the wall or against some object or to scroll the legs every which way or to lie down but instead to be in an erect posture but again you have to take into account the fact that this is not meant to be self induced punishment you're not meant to be uncomfortable so as much as possible you combine the
elements of erect posture with the sense of comfort and he's sitting on your cushion he now this doesn't mean that there are certain postures which are forbidden person always has to take their own constitution into consideration for
person has undergone some kind of operation or has some kind of physical ailments or weakness that prevents them for example from crossing their legs and sitting for long periods of time or means that they have to support their back for periods of time than they have to be sensible about this there's no corbyn's here it's a court always a question of
working with your own physiognomy and how you can best a dash that physiognomy to physiognomy to correct posture so as much as possible the person is in an erect cross legged posture if that is not possible and they worked with their own personal situation this is something you don't offer find reference to
the traditional literature but it is an important point that we need to bring out the you should not impose a stricture on your body that makes you uncomfortable if that happens to be your particular situation
you may wonder why there is so much attention given to something as prosaic as physical posture but in fact that has a great deal to do with your mental state if your body is not comfortable if you're not in a posture which is at one in the same time disciplined but comfortable
then your mind becomes very tight very distracted a lot of fox and emotions fill your mind it creates a great deal of interference with the cultivation of good meditation and so it means basically that if you don't spend the time on posture a intention that's required for good
posture your practice will not be fruitful it will not really become a path for you
you will not experience the clarifying of your natural awareness that meditation is supposed to bring about
it's also very useful
thing to maintain a shrine
and when you sit to actually face that shrines of focus for your devotion for your meditation it might be something as simple as a simple statue of buddha if you practice a particular deity meditation might be a statue and photograph with that particular deity such as have a look at taste for a car our who
whatever
but to have some kind of focus is very useful and also to place offerings out on a daily basis
now regarding the process of offering it should be as pure as possible both in physical sense and in a mental since that is to say you don't just throw anything on your shrine that happens to seem sufficient that you actually keep a great clean very neatly ordered very well
appointed well laid out but again it's important to realize that this isn't just an aesthetic exercise you're not just decorating your home with something exotic or something quaint and interested in by putting a statue and on offering so it's a spiritual exercise and so there should be mental involvement as as this be
being part of your practice so you're not merely setting up something nice something aesthetically pleasing in your house you're actually creating helping to create that context for practice with your with your mind and so they offering is a mental one as well as a physical one you're not just setting out the
the art objects on the shrine that are actually mentally creating a sense of making those offers
as well when you sit down to the practice meditation in a formal sense it is extremely important to recall with a sense of renunciation that samsara that the normal of cyclic existence that we now experience holds nothing of suffering that the basic or
ultimate result of all of this is suffering in some form or another and this encourages you to seek beyond that
and when you create through the buddhas and bodhisattvas to your gurus as embodiments of enlightened wisdom is with the sense that through your faith and devotion you will come to transcend that same cycle of rebirth yourself at cycle of suffering
as well it's important to begin every formal session of practice with a renewal of the bodhisattva attitude the motivation or attitude that your purpose in practicing is not just to benefit yourself but to liberate all sentient beings deliberate each and every living thing from the suffering
on the basis of this general context of a very expensive or hurry
yeah very expensive attitude embracing all beings the welfare of all beings than you go about your formal meditation now regardless of that particular saddam or the particular kind of practice you're pursuing in buddhism you will always begin with the taking a refuge this is a fundamental
the principle that runs throughout all buddhist practice
and
the game with regards to the particular technique if you're performing in any kind of deity over with kira or manjushri or saucepot the or whatever particular deity you're meditating upon the sudden will always begin with some formulation of the refuge bow
and your attitude again has to be an all embracing who you are not taking refuge you alone as a single solitary individual for a short period of time but as you recite the words of the litany you mentally you are doing so with mental attitude that from now until you and all beings to attain enlightenment you and all
beings take refuge in the three jewels so again there has to be this greater perspective that is goes beyond your own personal situation
it's worth mentioning at this point that this isn't an attitude that is only required or only to be cultivated informal practice this altruistic motivation of always taking the welfare of others into account as well as something that
subject to use any opportunity at work or in any of your daily activities as a vehicle for expressing
that basic wish that fundamental attitude that through your own actions others may benefit
and this is particularly useful in new of the fact that we spend a great deal of our time during the day in various emotional states of pride and anger and jealousy and irritation with others and so forth if this there's this continual barrage of emotions coming in our mine which contribute very directly to our personal
on happens
by allowing our minds to be continually afflicted by these emotional patterns we set up conditions for further unhappiness if instead we devote every moment that we can to cultivating more positive and healthy attitudes of mind
then we are directly working upon the causes of our data suffers or a day to day problems and i to day irritations
because when it comes right down to with these kinds of flick of emotions are not create any kind of final happiness they simply serve to further complicate the issue the further create circumstances for our pain
and so we can use our work our daily activities as a
as raw material for training our minds
in developing healthy attitudes
and this boils down essentially to a non egotistic approach the whatever we take part in we don't think of it from a purely selfish point of view is not simply what's in it for me or i'm the only one who really counts in this situation but taking into account as much as we can all the other people who were involved or whether there are keep the holdings
at work or members of our family or whatever using each and every one of those situations to extend beyond our own personal concerns and to take into consideration the welfare of others
this kind of attitude is remarkably effective in smoothing the have for making one's practice go in a formal sense and in the database since much easier
ten how of course minds are funny things and they don't always do exactly what we would like them to do
and we're not to blame for that it's not as though anyone saying oh why aren't you like such and such why are you this way i'm not a bad way why don't you change we have to accept the fact that it is a process of gradual refined gradual change no one is expecting anyone and no one should expect themselves to change like that
to just hear or this is the way you should be why aren't you change right now it doesn't work that way person has to be willing to commit themselves to a long process of gradual change of gradually refining and purifying their mind rather than expecting that it's going to simply happen automatically
through some magical process or or rather than assuming also that there are a failure because they can have the change we have to allow that growth to date grace you know developmental way and this is often a problem because the teachings are often apothecary presented by llamas and teachers in an eye
ideal form ideally this is the way one should be are ideally one would be experiencing the rural in such and such a way and very often we find that people are discouraged that think growing can't
and of course if this point they can but if they work at at gradually they can it simply requires that kind of patients and that ability to work with a situation over a period of time
in terms of developing this enlightening how to tune in our lives
compassion plays a crucial role but we need to understand what we mean when we say compassion because that can really go two ways basically
truly vast panoramic compassion for all beings is an enormously powerful spiritual force but what we often construe as compassion
he is where we have great passion for our husband or wife or children those close to us those to whom were emotionally attached so that isn't really what is meant in this context by compassion compassion goes far beyond our personal likes and dislikes
and if a person says oh yes i have great compassion i love my husband dearly and i love my children dearly or above my wife year earlier i love my friends dearly that's not really compassionate or they're talking about their own attachments their own personal likes and dislikes and compassion is something that comes from so deep within you
that it has nothing to do with your own personal likes and dislikes as an individual so it's important that we draw the line between a kind of nominal compassion the a knee-jerk compassion that we might think of when we think oh yes people close to me i i love me now on i love them even more in the future and that's having great compassion we need to understand
that while buddhist texts speak of compassion for your mother for example has a good starting point have simply because it's usually easier for a beginner to relate to having compassion for their mother or someone close to them than someone that on a nominal level vegas like would ideally compassion has to make race
all these each and every be whether we happen to like them or not on a personal level of individual personalities
and this is something which is more beneficial than we could realize that we are able to have compassion not just for the people that we normally would like an ordinary concepts but even for our enemies even for those people between page or would hate on a normal level to be able to have true compassion for those people is an enormous
the beneficial force
i would like to reiterate this point that this is all based upon my personal experience that i have found this to be the case in my own practice
as well as a formal practice of meditation daily basis as well as the various other activities that you are required to take part in your job and family responsibilities and so forth try to set aside a regular time for study we're finding that more and more authentic sources
of teaching are translated how into the english language itself it's not as though person doesn't have access to those teachings and they provide a very useful support for your practice to read these texts think about them deeply go over them again and again see what great teachers and great realized people in the past that had to say
i practice how best to go about practice if you read their life stories you see the kind of problems that they faced kind of difficulties they had to overcome the kind of commitment that they were able to bring to their practice and the results that they derived from it and all of this can be enormously inspiring and also provide a great deal of helpful information and
terms of sorting out your own practice
but it's inevitable that you're going to run into things you don't understand you're going to read something that confuses you a concept that really doesn't make any sense and that is where the value of teachers comes in
to have teachers llamas gurus spiritual friends is that you can go to places where you can go to discuss your practice in a constructive framework where you can get good advice and through that advice come to better understand the concepts that you're trying to apply in your practice the concepts that your
trying to gain realization of and progress
when you're engaged in your formal practice whether it's a deity medication or some other form of meditation technique you'll find doubts and questions arising in your mind really what i'm supposed to be doing it is this really working
and that is a pitfall that you have to avoid with some strenuous strenuous the more time you spend brooding on that kind of thought the more deleterious to this to practice because the more you entertained out more does there are even entertain it's far better for the time being to just grab that and continue with the practice and then make efforts
distort the sort the issue out later on but if you spend your meditation time thinking about am i making a mistake is this really working am i wasting my time
you're going to find out that actually you are wasting your time by paying attention to those kinds of thoughts instead it's better to just drop it to just dispel that thought him go on with the practice
in the context of your own personal practice you'll find that
the
the most effective the most
straightforward way to go about your practices to have is to discover some level of trust where for you your gurus and three jewels the sources of refuge to the is turning your practice our principles that you rely on constantly it's not something that you simply evoke during formal meditation trees although that is important in every
thing you do a reset since trust that sense of commitment that sense that this is something that i can give myself to wholeheartedly
to my grossed three jewels this i can commit myself to this is something that becomes an ongoing theme in your life where it isn't something reserved for formal periods of meditation from this time the this time for continues throughout the day in any activity that you're undertaking so both the spiritual and the mundane aspects of your life become permeated with this
sense of trust and commitment
in general particularly in the culture says such as this one people find that they lead very busy lives with there's a great deal with demands your time and energy in a culture like this one
pretty cozy to take time make time to go to piles a less crowded or less busy environment to go off into solitude somewhere to go with a small group of people into retreat and for a week or two weeks or however much time you can devote your practice to actually create a context where you can apply yourself
more of your time and more of your energies send you normally could to your practice so it is again an enormously supportive factor in your practice to to deliberately create circumstances for doing regular retrieve
in terms of health and official your practices for others this really depends upon your own that of motivation for doing that practice if a person does anything with true compassion for others in their heart than others definite prevents there's no need to tell whether or not it's effect is definitely effective that it does depend upon the individual motivation
behind the persons act just to give a single example
you know someone who is in hospital was suffering from a disease or are undergoing an operation or something and there in that hospital suffering and you may feel that your own practice at home doesn't do them any good but if out of the sense of compassion you're practicing for their benefit longevity practice medicine buddha practice some kind of purification
the fact that you have included them in your motivations for doing that practice is something that influences their situation so even though you may feel as though your hurry
far away from the situation of that person stuck in the hospital
depending on your attitude you are capable of helping memory deal really depends upon whether you have that kind of compassionate or altruistic motivation apart when you practice
this was something that was very prominent into bed and culture very often people would sponsor
a teacher or a group of people to perform a certain ritual or to practice or meditate in a certain way for their benefit because it was understood that if the people have the correct motivation than the the power of their practice with not only be of benefit to them but in the people who are responsible people who had encouraged and provided the circus
dances for and practice in a sense to practice of dharma is no different from any worldly activity we might undertake if we're trying to help someone in a totally mundane sense and were far more effective than if we're just doing it casual wear them any motivation to help without any thought of the other person's welfare but if we go in
to a situation think okay what can we do in this situation to help so and so we find this somehow the job gets done that the person actually benefits directly in that sense dharmas identical practice of dharma is identical if it has done with the motivation to help others it is effective now it's true that they may or may be very different ends in sight bit
mean it totally mundane and for helping someone and practice to help some in terms of the ultimate goal
but in terms of the fundamental effectiveness dharma and the world are identical in the sense that if you go to with the correct motivation than the work that you undertake is effective
but to practice without true compassion in your heart means that your practice is not going to be effective you may think that it is and you may try to tell yourself or i really think i have the best interests of all beings and heart but if you're just giving lip service to it really isn't going to be any more effective than a parrot just reciting something here
been taught to them there is the proper but the example a metaphor of parent has taught to recite the mantra om mani padme hum
someone sits down and just recites this to the bird of the bird remembers it enough to repeat it but of course the bird is not aware of the significance of what even reciting he's just been taught mechanically to repeat certain sounds certain speech patterns
and so it doesn't have the same effectiveness is it would for someone for a meditator to understand the significance of using a hunter and to work with it with minds and the same way for person practices without compassion than their practices mechanical it really doesn't have the heart that will make it effective
so at this point gets measures so that i think i'll stop talking and asking for any questions and as i said last night and i say every time i opened the field for questions if i know what i'm talking about if i know how to answer the question then i will answer you a straightforwardly with as
sincere and attitude as i can as i can if i don't know that i'll ask one of those and grow up
a
hepatitis

if situation she arrived at one or whatever a national past decade
then and then i have you
how's that
since two thousand yeah okay so the question is if one is not feeling particularly compassionate
or one has never really experienced true compassion how does one go about
cultivating how to not
it's actually quite easy
because
on the one hand while i said previously that personal like and dislike has no ultimate purpose in the development of compassion i also mentioned and reiterate here that it is useful as a basis for training compassion
compare compassion does not come automatically it's something we need to refine train ourselves it and we begin with a relationship where it's very easy to give rise to compassion very easy to see how the other person's welfare concerns us and is of important skills
if you have children for example
you and you can see that when you think of your children there's a qualitative difference
when the way you think of other people your automatic response to your children is i don't want them to suffer i don't want them to have pain and problems i want them to be well and happy do well
so that's an kind of embryonic form of compassion you can see that as the recurrence
situation that evokes compassion most naturally for you and works there it may be your mother perhaps you have a very close relationship with your mother in your mother's health and welfare and happiness concerns you very deeply
and it's something quite automatic again as i said before he's likes and dislikes ultimately speaking or not what compassion is all the boat but they are extremely useful as starting points for us to at least begin to perceive and appreciate quality of compassion in our lives because there is some one in some situation for whom we feel at least this ember
yawning portal of compassion
one
i all hey
oh okay oh
reaching a conical curves is there a way to distinguish to a boy or a sudden for this reason the question concerns
whether when you're practicing and you're approaching when you feel as though your mind is entering into a state of calm equipoise how to distinguish between that and blankness month i a healthy sense of calm balanced mind balanced awareness or the mind is kind of shutting down and seven
this is where the elements of devotion is extremely important when you find yourself meditating and you are experiencing something that you are interpreting as com equipoise at that point if you invoke your grows in the three jewels
the the sign the indication in your meditation that you are on the right track will be a a kind of clarifying
to of natural awareness there will be a sense of alertness about the the the experience even though there is not actual distraction thought processes have necessarily but he the natural awareness of the mind will be clarified and and shargel
if you find that there is a sense rather of dullness or torpor
then you should again used devotion as a means of
recognizing this obstacle and dealing invoking the blessings of your gurus and the three jewels to offset the further reinforcement of this kind of mental torpor if you find that nothing seems to be working your mind as seems to be blanking better not to to continue the practice that would be
to stop because you can actually cause damage on somewhere where you can actually cause yourself real problems mentally if you continue to reinforce that kind of mental lethargy or mental torpor so really the key here is the equality of devotion and the inspired sense of clear alert aware
this that that it brings about it
sprouted question similar vein that are and he'll romans new life or your your benefit equally be career curious a very refreshing when sitting a life as with while is kinds to guilt is your need for that way
i'm treading water i a similar my anxiety stage between possible
so the question concerns
states of depression in which the
ah well as i understood it is kind of a as much as the teachings are telling you one thing you're interpreting it in such a way that it's actually
holding you back or it word
depriving you of inspiration for example you hear about how wonderful the human birth is and the potential that of course in the think of wire and i using it better wire and i'm not doing anything with that kind of sense yeah that we have either like a few nerves how can claim that and periods of anxiety periods of the distraction used by anxiety
problems among it is during the meditation or he said
oh obviously enough
i'm hasn't ain't ever they tried to do it everyday
eyes if you're making attempts at practice but the general sense is one of the crusher
just on this note of feeling worthless
just as as as a further clarification do you mean that you feel being alive at all is worthless that your life is worthless or that your practices where was you better just drop your practice or how far does it go
product assistance or i didn't believe it on jessica said my automatic response is the first encourage you to pray
prettier girls pray to the three jewels for inspiration don't just wallow in depression
you have to develop some kind of conviction some kind of decisive quality in your mind where when you recognize that kind of depression and anxiety and insecurity coming up you're willing to say to yourself now look you're very fortunate you've met with great teachers
you've received wonderful teachings you could a great deal of effort into this you're not going to turn around and tell yourself at this point that it was all worth nothing
and in a certain sense you just have to give yourself a bit of a talking to him keep going
and it really all boils down to that basic decisiveness in the mind where you can just say to yourself well from going to see it through i'm not going to throw away that opportunity
so you have to be willing to think about it
the situation in in a kind of clear or objective way or instead of just wallowing in feelings of self pity or feelings of self a lack of self worth self integration he say to yourself instead know i really do have very fortunate opportunity here
think of the teachers i would think of the teachings i proceed
think of this whole connection with this path that i've established i'm not going to throw that away and then used carry on from there
it goes without saying here that that if you continue to entertain concept depression parts of worthlessness and of
not getting anywhere the only result in the long run is to just wear yourself out of all it does in the long run is make you miserable and deprive you of any energy that you might have had for real practice so it's important to recognize it as it comes up and just cut it away you have to have it the city
if
hey you're a person who can't practice simply because they don't have time if there's circumstances required thing work so much they don't have time or energy to practice and that's what's depressing you this as well for the time being if you just keep beating your head against the wall and blaming yourself for not practicing that's going on
going to get you anywhere you can always the poor to your retirement perhaps the table then i'll have to try to practice is a realistically speaking in this culture there is the sense of least that people have the opportunity it when they get towards the end of their life past middle age that they could put aside a lot of problems and have more time to relax
max that supposed to be were retired all hot so if nothing else you could always look forward to that it's simply
the moon the fact that your circumstances don't permit you to practice that doesn't get you anywhere

this is question turns will
the county why i i understand that way some aspect of one's license has appeared last who periodically i saw was her skirt back luckily so
out and that
i think collapse at work
ha
i i understand the aspect that difficulty encourages
practice from him but i
i read it sort of cogitate a little bit that there's some other thing about having hit the collapse some kind of collapse comes to sell that it has ego mechanic at that capability yet when i find myself confronted with the situation or it really
since things are these on the peril of falling apart i get all caught up and try to anger and
she have a thrilling call our
right
i don't have experienced it sort of very discouraging him but i expect so much energy trying to hang on said it seems to or out that opposes practice i get so caught up
that movie
hello
oh right that
oh
those areas
so this track at god that it's very hard for me let go for the report cited you let go
as worked at that i know about are typically not on i can you sense yeah
so these are inevitable periods of collapse were just circumstances
st go to be i go to the point where things start to be start to fall apart and you'll spend more time trying to keep them together than just moving on letting it go and moving on to something where i mean anything else it can even be the reddit in promoting than being caught up her and that the you're not going to be able to handle this situation
and then
when one gets so busy travel
can call like going to survive in this you can i convince them not to promote i ever been prepared
well okay
only you can say you're really soft
you could work as as i understood that the question that the thrust of the questions that given their the there are periods of time in everyone's life when things seem to be falling apart one way or another financially or emotionally or whatever there's some sense of of chaos of things he can't depend on them anymore things are are breaking up something you're used to it
is is is falling apart that there is often the tendency to spend more time holding on to that situation and maintaining it
the many impossibility but you try anyway to whole that which can't be held together together there's more energy put it to that then working more constructively with it and learning how to let go and long to whatever inevitably becomes the next phase that is i cannot say that says
then if you've already understood when one has already understood that clean doesn't help them first place why do we claim why do we continue repeating something we know to be ineffective
then given that we understand at least on an intellectual level on a conceptual level that
simply up just off an automatic reaction of clinging to the situation as it begins to fall apart won't help the other thing we should take into account is that
we are directly responsible for our own happiness or unhappiness in in a now a larger sense just in this lifetime the fact that we can experience anything pleasant anything happy anything good in this life at all is due to merit from previous existences
but we shouldn't think of marriage and karma as some kind of fixed situation pre determined
situation it is true that we have gathered marriage and previous lifetimes we have also destroyed merit previous life so we continue to gather married and we continue to destroy it
especially destructive emotions such as hatred and anger
in our minds are extremely powerful means of destroying merit which otherwise would guarantee is at least some personal happiness or satisfaction
ah and so rather than simply bemoaning their fake why am i losing is why is this whole thing apart why is this happening to me
or resentful
and frustrated and therefore destroying further merit thus depriving ourselves of further causes of happiness we with far better be far better to turn that energy into gathering merit and to pursuing practice and gathering there and making offerings doing prostrations and circumambulate
making offerings and shrines and giving generously to the poor sharing the the wealth that we have with others to benefit them gathering the means that will assure us future happiness if we're concerned with preserving happiness than we need to go about creating circumstances for it so once we
you've understood intellectually that on a psychological level cleaning doesn't help you can further understand more of the equation why we are happy in the first place why on a nominal but we experience pleasure and pain and we can actually create the karma creates the marriage that will lead to huh
happiness and fulfillment and
benefit so it's really a question of understanding where those experiences are coming from initially fundamentally rather than on a symptomatic level bemoaning the fact that something isn't happening if something not happening let's start creating the circumstances for it to happen
huh
it was okay i am beginning to get the feeling that the already a deal with a lot of these two phones obscuration is to examine where they're coming from our this but is also a way of wasting your karma where you have obedient anger or of misunderstanding that just caterpillar so
quickly between two people that a free know it's plant medicine africa or or one person can have a take a stand that we will just be unyielding and you and trying to relate to that become the opposite
so is there like a quick fix
hello
maybe earlier that's something new really scary situation even if english isn't
and sometimes oh it's right edge acting was right
is well you're on a railroad
i'm an attraction to her
so the question concerns
situations where there's such an immediate negative response between two people flying in each other's throats without either than sitting the thing that the through clearly and realize what they're getting in there is there's some critics of the zone method visualization mantra whatever report addressing those kinds of immediate situation so that
the the think of an escalating cause great harm and current gwen
the really is no magic magic mantra or magic formula for this a person has to have the
for first and foremost this kind of
immediate
or sudden upheaval is the fact that we get going to have to take into account particularly if we're we have titled constitution were were likely that we have a short temper and were likely to fly off the handle but
by large everybody experiences this kind of time we just find yourself in a situation where we know at things totally out of control
and there's two ways we need to go about this the first is to recognize that once something's finished it's finished there's nothing we can do about that so there's no point sitting around thinking oh if only i hadn't because you did so that when it's finished
the important point is where you carry on from there okay given that i shouldn't have acted that way they did i want in the future and that commitment to yourself
he is enormously meritorious and counterbalances the negativity that it was generated in the first place and of course knowing that we are it's likely that we're going to break that promise promising future we're going to find that we do it again
and then again it's finished over with
the only constructive attitude that we can have towards it is okay i realize i shouldn't have done that particularly since i committed myself not doing that again i want you to take up that commitment again again i won't do that i'll make every effort i can future situation that not have a laugh and
and so you have to on pract pragmatic level you have to understand that given who you are you may all off the way in from time to time you may find yourself
a flying off the handle
repeatedly that you have to recognize it as a fault that is important i regret but the important point is sense of committed sense of i can and will overcome this and i'm more than this and future and then when you do again if if you do which is perhaps very likely that one will you still don't lose the inner
social intense you don't say oh i guess use this i've to iraq by now we have role as you have to keep coming back to that point of yes i can and i will control this yes i will avoid this image i will not respond to have my teacher
currently the district just given that you
too difficult to
practice for long periods of time during the day we are just a phone and you set aside a time every morning when just get up earlier whatever kind of you have to go to work just get up an hour earlier to do that the poor asha what i've from them you are many times just will lead you to
practicing whether you're comfortable whether or not it's always difficult
the problem being if you break the habit or under breaking it more and more and it's like if you quit smoking and then just have one little toe
that's not smoker it came within six months so powerful the same thing i've found in and out with meditation that if you just absolutely commit i will do an hour every day come hell or high water you're going to do it you accomplish that however the situation may not be very conductive and many times you go
we have four five honestly and you might as well be asleep at least you're making a commitment and power i have heard you say something regarding and danger of practicing and maybe not practicing when you do the how'd you how'd you make that decision when you become aware of this your
getting more damage than good by immersing yourself time and so it's a quality versus quantity kind of argument is you put your putting in the hours for the minutes but but not
not in the way that the practice is meant to be done but just because you're trying to hold onto that maintain that still should have been established to have it and how do you know when you're pushing yourself too much and and actually creating
in damage non constructive rather than can