All-Sangha Meeting

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So welcome again to everyone and this is typically our all sangha meeting potluck that we'd be all eating each other's great homemade dishes. So as I said if you want to have a snack or something to drink feel free to do that during this meeting. We are going to record it because a couple people are not able to make it and they definitely want to hear it. So with regards to the chat box, we are going to open that up during the discussion, which is going to be at the end of the meeting, so that if you have any questions about any of the items that we're going to be covering, just make a note of that, and then you can field it to the chat box. So let's see. I think we are ready to begin. First of all, one of the purposes of this meeting is that it's affirming our board.

[01:04]

And so let's go ahead and start with that. Ed and Rondi are going to briefly explain how our process works. And then we'll tell you about the members that are on the board and are going to be affirmed. So Rondi, Ed? So Ed, why don't you begin, and then I'll I'll speak more about the three at-large members. Okay? Ed, can you hear me? Yeah. You're muted. Yeah. There we go. I think as most of you know, our election committee has the responsibility of filling The at-large seats on our board, and every year we go through the process of recruiting and talking to and approving three candidates who are then three or more or less candidates, depending on the openings, and they are offered to the Sangha for their approval.

[02:17]

And this year, thankfully, as far as I'm concerned, given the circumstances, the three people who now sit on the board have agreed to serve another term. So those people will be, the names will be sent out along with the abbot and the vice abbot and the president and treasurer and I say the president to the saga for their approval and Ronnie do you want to add anything more to that? Sure, so just to underscore that this is an annual process and should you be wishing to be nominated in the next round As the newsletter states, you could contact Ed Herzog, Carol Paul, or myself.

[03:19]

So much for the election process. And I think the poll is going to be published starting tomorrow. And we're going to ask that it be completed by October 1st. Yes, that's right. So you'll receive an email. so that you can complete that and send it back and do do that as soon as you can. Won't take more than two or three minutes. So I'm going to talk about, just briefly, introduce who our current board executive committee is. Well, first of all, I think you all, we all know Sojan and Hozon, and of course they sit on the board. And then our president is Mary Duryea, right? Mary, can you give a little shout out?

[04:21]

And Mary is, she's serving her second term and, you know, served as vice president. She's been on the board for a long time, but she's in her second term and has one more year to go as president, held many positions here at PCC. I'm now serving the vice president and I too will go off the board next year. So each of us has one more year. And finally, we have our treasurer, Lori Sanaka. You probably just recently received that wonderful email about Lori. So no need to speak about all her wonderful skills and abilities. So I'm gonna turn it over now to let Rondi start with Or no, actually, Tom. Is Tom here? No, I don't know. I don't. Well, Ron, would you like to start? Sure, I'll start. I'll introduce Dean Bradley.

[05:23]

So Dean Bradley's Dharma name is Chodo Kaiku. She began practicing at BCC 20 years ago. She is a person of multiple talents. Her service on the board is part of her community participation. She says, I feel responsible, as in other sangha tasks. Dean has filled numerous practice positions, literally inside and out of the BCC compound. I even remember that she went under the community room at one point. These include Saturday director, working on office computer technology, consulting on buildings and grounds, and serving as work leader. A photographer, she has documented sangha ceremonies and was the official uploader of lectures prior to Zoom. She has a can-do attitude and finishes the project she starts. Over the years, she has done a lot of work on our grounds.

[06:27]

Currently, Dean is a full-time caregiver for her mother, who lives with her. The board is pleased she has agreed to run for a second term. Thank you, Dee. Lori, would you like to go ahead? I'm not seeing Tom yet, and introduce... I'm here. Hello, Carol. Oh, okay, Tom. Would you like to go ahead and introduce Sue? Yeah. Yeah, I'd love to. So I'm pleased to introduce Sue, which I think everybody knows, who everybody knows. So Sue walked through the gates of BCC back in 1990. and was ordained by Sojin Roshi in 95. Her Dharma name is Ju-Yo-Sei-Shen, Bright Pearl, Pure Faith. She's held many positions at BCC, including Head Chidin, Co-Zendo Manager, Saturday Director, and Oryoki Clothmaker. And as many of you know, Sue ran a Montessori preschool from her home for many years, and more recently has been involved in a anti-poverty grassroots lobby organization called Results.

[07:42]

Her children live in Oregon and her granddaughter just graduated from California College of the Arts and moved to Portland. On a more personal note, Sue was one of the first people I met when I first came to BCC. And she instructed me on Zazen and Oryoki and continues to be my Oryoki instructor and corrects my sloppy approach to Oryoki, which I really appreciate. You have a warm and welcoming spirit, which I always, when I'm a Saturday director, you're the first person that approaches me and says, Oh, I can teach this person Oryoki and you jump right in. And I really appreciate that. and love working with you, and I'm really grateful for your service on the board and for being willing to hang in there with it. So thank you, Sue, and I hope you win the election. And I'm going to introduce Linda, who I've known since 1980 or before that in the late 70s.

[08:53]

She started practicing in San Francisco Zen Center. And she's been practicing at BCC for quite a while. I don't know, 10 some years. I didn't do as good. We didn't. She and I had a conversation, but we didn't do quite as thorough a job as everyone else did. But she is recently retired from Stanford, and she was involved. Many of us have experienced a many-year project organizing the Kabir singers to come and do concerts, and she wrote a book about, Kabir, she's done translating and she's involved in very scholarly projects and not so scholarly projects. She's married to Kaz Tanahashi, the amazing peace activist artist. And Linda has really enjoyed being on the board because she, people who've practiced sincerely for a lot of years are often mature and delightful, she says. She enjoys the meetings. She feels like they work with practical minds, kind hearts, feet on the ground, and taking care of everything that needs to be taken care of so that hundreds of people can sit zazen and listen to talks.

[10:01]

And so anyway, she's a wonderful person. And if you don't know her, I hope you get a chance now that she's retired to get to know her somehow. Thank you. Well, thanks to all of you for the wonderful introductions. I am now going to turn the meeting over to Sojin and Mary who are going to be talking about our affirmation process for our upcoming Abbott, new Abbott. Mary here and Sojin. Sojin, do you want to start? You're muted, so I can't tell whether you're saying yes or no. There you go. Now it's still muted. Just a moment.

[11:06]

I'm going to change my name. There we are. Now we can hear you. Yay. Yes, I'm going to change my name to Sochin. OK. I don't know why I have to do this every time, but I do. OK. Um well I'm not very good at this whoops but I did something wrong. Oh you're good. I'm not because I can't I can't find myself. All right I'll try this almost. Put on speaker view and you'll be featured. I'm almost there. You should be one of the first people on your first page. I'm getting there. See, there I am. I know I get there. At some point, we haven't decided exactly when, there will be a transition.

[12:25]

for an Abbott's transition. And I will step down as Abbott after, I don't know how long, because I wasn't Abbott until 1985 or four, but that's enough time. But I, have been running more or less Zen Center since 1967 when Suzuki Roshi asked me to find a place and do something with it. So I will step down as Abbott and Hozon Tsunaki will step up as Abbott. So we're going to have that transition. So that's a big deal for the Zen Center. I mean, it's a big deal, and yet it's just, you know, change.

[13:31]

So it has various sides. So when there's a change like this, you know, I have many students, and I've nurtured students, and they've nurtured me through many decades along them. And most of the students here are my students. So Ho-Zhan, although Ho-Zhan has been here for 30 some years, he will inherit the responsibility. Who said that? I think someone has their microphone unmuted and it's a TV Sojin.

[14:39]

Britt, I don't know if you can hear me but I think you're unmuted if you would be able to mute yourself. I just muted him. Thank you. Okay, whoever it is. Hosan will inherit the responsibilities, if you approve of him, which I'm sure you will, of the Zen Center. So it's a difficult step to make. And there are many people, I think, that don't like to see me step down. And there are many students that support Hozon. I do not want to see this as some kind of competitive thing. I think I'm 91 now, and there's plenty of time for me to have done this.

[15:48]

And I'm quite willing and happy to have Hosan sensei assume the responsibilities of the abbot. So I want to support him as much as I can. And I also want to support, want you to support him as much as you can. In this kind of situation, there are always, you know, difficulties of one kind or another. Often, sometimes when there's a transition, some of the former Abbott's students will leave, but I would rather everybody stay. It would be really nice if everybody stayed. Because when I sit down, I will have, I'm not gonna go anywhere.

[16:50]

and I will assume a different role. Maybe a founding teacher or a senior Norman teacher or something like that. And I will still be around as long as I can manage to take care of my own students. But I want all of my own students to also follow the abbot, the new abbot, and together, we can say together, but we can assume responsibility altogether. I really would like to have the students, all of us, step up. And I don't want to say challenge, but don't be afraid to question. then it won't happen.

[17:54]

I think that's really important. When you have doubts, or whether you have glowing praise or whatever, don't feel hindered to question, then don't have it. And if you see things a little off, don't say something. And when you see things that aren't, just support that. So, you know, often when we have, in the past, I would say, in the past, some sanghas had a kind of pyramidal setup. The abbot's on top, and everybody else is down below. It's a kind of pyramid. It's true, it is a pyramid. But the pyramid should not be like this. It should be more like this.

[18:57]

So there's more equality around the abbot and to be the abbot's great advisors. There should be a team of advisors who are not rubber stampers. I've been in that situation. at San Francisco Zen Center. I was a co-abbot for nine years, and I had a lot of difficulties. I wouldn't say that it was difficult for me, but there were a lot of difficulties just before being abbot, actually. My abbot seemed actually quite nice. I was co-abbot with Reb Anderson, And we always agreed that we would not do something unilaterally.

[20:01]

We would always consult with each other and with the senior students about anything that we did. So it made it work quite well that way. So that's kind of what I'm thinking about. Although the abbot is the top of the pyramid, there has to be some leadership. That's my feeling. Someone that we're all pointed to as the leader. But at the same time, we shouldn't just lead blind, just follow blindly. And the leader should always consult with people before doing something. So we don't always do that. But we should say something if we feel that the power structure is overwhelmed by one person.

[21:12]

That should not happen. I think that that won't happen. Everyone is pretty much dedicated to that at any rate. So I feel pretty comfortable with the transition. Hosan is not me. I am not he, but we are all each other at the same time. So, Things will, there will be things that we're all not used to. And what's really hard, I think, is for the former abbot to still be around when the new abbot takes his seat. So we'll see what happens. We'll see what happens. I think this is rather unusual. Maybe the first time here,

[22:14]

Usually in Japan, when the old abbot steps down and goes into retirement, that may happen, and to a certain extent it will. So anyway, we're all stepping into the unknown, unknown, unknown, unknown. So I will have a stepping down ceremony. This will be my second stepping down ceremony, because I had one at San Francisco Zen Center in 1998. I think I became an avatar at 97, or 98. I stepped on 97, something like that. 88, yeah, 88 to 97.

[23:20]

So I have that experience. So after I do my stepping down ceremony, and then we'll have the stepping up ceremony, you have to do a mountain seat ceremony, pageantry. So I just want to say that I'm all prepared for this and happy about it. I may have a few reservations, but I'm still happy, totally happy about it. I don't want to fool you. And I want to, I want us all to support the new Abbott because it's a tough, a tough place to step into. Even though you think you know what you want to do, everything doesn't go that way.

[24:29]

So I will do what I can to support everybody. Do you have any questions? Sojin? Sojin? Carol, let me add something. Yes, Mary's going to say something. We thought we'd wait for questions. We just have a little more peace, and then we'll open it up for questions. But Mary, please. Thank you. So thank you. Thank you, Sojin. It's such a tender moment for all of us. There's not just one feeling about it. You know, I think there are a pile of feelings about it. But let me just say something about the structure of what we're bringing to the center right now, which is that our abbot has chosen a successor.

[25:40]

And the board has received this decision and welcomes this decision. we've been learning the board has been learning about what its role is in this process um not to say that we know completely but what we're understanding so far is that the role of the board is to be the voice of the sangha which invites the new habit to ascend to the mountain seat and What we would like to do is really have as wide of an acclamation and affirmation as we can so that we know that we are actually speaking as the voice of the Sangha. So in this particular election process, in this ballot, we are adding a new and singular one-time question.

[26:49]

which is, what do you, Sangha members, what do you say about this choice? So that when we do this invitation, we would know that we would be speaking on your behalf. So that is an additional part of this ballot process that will be on the Sangha ballot. Sajani, I saw your hand go up. Did you want to say something clarifying what I said? You're muted. I forgot to say that. This is not me. I'm suggesting Ozan is there, but it's actually the board of the Sangha who are doing the invitation because I will be out of the picture in that role.

[27:58]

So the board is taking the responsibility. At the point after you have stepped down on the board and the Sandra, I mean, there's a quarter of it, right? Yes. And I would add that what I'm hoping that we can create And kind of in terms of the language we use, traditionally it's a stepping down, but we can also see that it's a stepping into, that the board creates a role that has a name and a function and a description and a place in the sangha for our yet to be named, I think we have to come up with a name and then offer it decision and ask him if he would accept it. And the name that we were floating today as we were talking about it is a founding Dharma teacher, which is a very unique position.

[29:01]

And we would create that and he would still be available to us in all the ways that he has been available to us. so far. Mary, say it again because you sort of broke up. This is Stan, but it doesn't matter. Just say it again. This is tentative. I'm just saying that this is in discussion. But the name that we were contemplating today in the board meeting was Founding Dharma Teacher. Is that clear? As opposed to Senior Dharma Teacher. Also, and I guess this is the last thing I will say, the transition team has put out feelers to various people in the community about their availability for dates for these ceremonies.

[30:02]

And these are tentative dates. So we're not at some point soon when we are a little bit more sure we can send out a save the date, but to let you know what we're thinking about. We're thinking about December 27th for the stepping down and in to a different position ceremony. And either the 29th of December or the 30th of December for a Mountain State ceremony, because that would be the culmination of Rahatsu. And it's also a time when Usually people don't have other things scheduled and this is a year when people aren't going to be probably going on vacation and may have the time off. So those are just placeholders and we're just letting you know to know where the discussions are at this point. So I'll stop there. Sojin, it looks like you had, would you like to say something to add something?

[31:04]

These are just placeholders because if you're going to have a ceremony, a stepping up, a mountain seat ceremony, which takes about two days, you know, or three, maybe to rehearse it, because it's a very complex ceremony. So we will do it just before New Year's, so that this will all begin on the New Year. So, but those, yeah, we'll figure that out. We'll make sure everybody finds out, knows it, and has a little save the date postcard, and you'll know. Thank you both. Thank you both. So you'll receive the email tomorrow to affirm everything we've said in terms of the board. And we just have a little period for announcements, and then we can take all the comments and questions that I'm sure you have. Ed and Hosan, would you like to say something about the archive partnership?

[32:09]

Take a brief summary of that. Were you going to do that, Ed or Hosan? No? OK. Lori? Ed is muted. I'm sorry. OK. Is that better? Yes. Would you like to give a brief description description of this exciting news? Yeah, we have some exciting news. The Archive Committee, myself, Hozon, let's see, Maria Winston has been on it, as well as Karen Sondheim and Rob Lyons. We've been working for some time. And Mary Duryea, yes. Rob is not on this. I mean, is he? Rob was on it at the beginning. Oh, OK. And we've got some exciting news.

[33:11]

We sent out feelers to different institutions to find a home for our archives. And we were contacted by Stanford University And they want to be the place where we can place our archives there, including our papers, photos, videos, talks. And so we're in discussion with them about the particulars, but it looks very, very promising. And where we retain the copyright for them, and they're put in a safe and secure place, And we are, the world basically has access to them digitally. And so this is, we've been working on it with them for the last month and we'll take, we'll be stepping forward. And if you have any questions about it, contact me or anybody else on the committee.

[34:14]

And we're going to be, as we move closer to it, we'll be sending out announcements, probably in the newsletter, or other means, so. Hosann, do you want to talk about the lectures? I think that's another part of it. Just very briefly, I mean, some of you are aware that we've been in a digitization process of our whole backlog of lectures, and this is being done by our friend Charlie Wilson. That process is nearly done. He is in dialogue now with the people at Stanford to make sure that that his standards for digitization are consonant with their standards, which it turns out they are. So that's really good news. And he's almost done, I think within the next couple of weeks, he's going to be done with all of the cassette tapes and all of the CDs.

[35:15]

So that would bring, bring together the body of digitized lectures between roughly 1980 and 2008 or 2009, which is a lot of lectures, it's like 3,000 lectures, many of which, most of which predominantly are Sojourn Roshi's lectures, but they're also lectures by other PCC teachers, by visiting teachers, and it's just going to be a great treasure. All of this is going to be pretty immediately available on a website that Charlie hosts before it goes to the, before it goes to Stanford. So in the very near future, this whole body of material will be available for you to listen to and to download from online. I think that's all I need to say.

[36:17]

Very exciting. And we have some more exciting news. Lori, would you like to talk about our mid-year appeal? Yeah, and actually before that, I just want a couple points about the ballot, just to clarify. So this is one of the few things that goes to members only. We usually don't, we don't really distinguish between sangha and the specific But this is one of the few things that does so the ballot will go to members. And also it's a Google form and I would just like to alert you because my test version went to promotions folder that if you have a spam, they'll go out tomorrow. And if you don't see it by the end of the day, I would please check your promotions folder if you have one or spam. Also, I just want to say that they mentioned quickly that if you want to be on the board, but also if there's someone else in the sangha who you think would be a good board member, either way, if you would like to serve or you think of somebody who you would like to see on the board for any reason, don't wait.

[37:25]

Don't wait, just let the committee know now. And they keep track and they talk to people and they keep a list. And then depending on what we need or want at that election, they look at their list. So don't hesitate. It's a great thing to do. But you should have them talk to the person they're nominating first before they announce it. Good point. Yeah, good point. Yes, thank you. Lori, you want to give them a little report? Oh, yeah. So some of you may be aware that we have a thing that we're calling the Mid-Year Appeal, which you may not think of that way. But it was a letter, a snail mail letter that went out in July, and then it followed up with an email fundraising. And this year, we asked for $10,000 for unrestricted use kind of related to COVID, things we, you know, lost income from COVID and also things we may want to spend money on to bring, when we come back together, what we might need to do.

[38:33]

And anyway, the amazing thing is we made $30,000, which is more than we've ever gotten in a fundraiser. So thank you so much, Sangha. We had a huge response to the letter and It's so wonderful and meaningful for those of us who are working behind the scenes to feel your support in this way, and of course, in many ways, but in this way too. So thank you so much. Yes, a big, deep bow to everyone. Okay, I think we're ready to have you be able to ask your questions, your comments. And I'm going to open up the chat. So if people want to just say congratulatory words or say things that they don't need to. And we are going to do the blue hand raising because we're on two screens. So blue hand raise if you want to speak. And I'm going to open up the chat as soon as I figure out how to do that. And you can just put stuff in the chat also. And I'll turn this over to Linda.

[39:35]

turning it over to me and to my dog who is barking. I keep having to let her in and out of the room. So you might hear my dog. So we've got ample time now for discussion, questions, comments, and people know for the most part about raising the blue hand, but in case you're unclear, just open, click the participants icon, usually at the bottom of the screen or wherever it is on your device. And then on the participants screen, you should see, actually, I don't see it. That's interesting. Maybe because I'm a co-host, but you should all see raise hand. And then if you want to speak, just raise your blue hand. And I might add, too, if you want to just put your question in the chat box.

[40:40]

You can do one or the other of those. Yeah. If you'd rather just write it down, do that. But if you'd rather speak it out and engage in the conversation, then give us a blue hand. Now. And this can be, of course, about what all the contents of this meeting that we've just had. Actually, there was quite a bit of important stuff. But also, I think it's kind of like the open discussion that we have on Monday mornings every month or so. That is, if you have something else you want to raise, I think that would be okay, too, because this is our all Sangha meeting. Charlie, I see your hand, but it's hard to see everybody's hand.

[41:43]

So those who can, please use the blue hand. But go ahead, Charlie, and unmute yourself. No. Yeah, we're unmuted. Oh, can you hear me? Yes, we can. Oh, good. My question was, how does Rehatsu figure into your scheduling at the end of the year? We're going to do And they're planning to do an abbreviated rohatsu towards the end of the year, not, I mean, towards later December, rather than it's a traditional time, because we wanted to make sure that all people who are working were available. It'll probably be a three-day rohatsu on like a 7.30 to 5.00 or 5.30 schedule. And I think the dates are the 19th to 21st. Is that correct? I know it's on the calendar.

[42:51]

That sounds right. Anyway, you'll get plenty of advance notice. We ran it by, this has been approved by the practice committee, and that's what we're planning to do. So that's all we thought we wanted to. We wanted to complete that, and Sojan will lead that. And so have the ceremonies afterwards. Thank you. I have a question in the chat box from Cheryl Gordon. Are there plans for a vice abbot? I can speak to that. The wisdom of the boards in the past meant that we have put together what we call a leadership fund, which actually funds two abbots, which is kind of an unusual situation. So we have an abbot and a vice abbot, and we'll continue to have an abbot and a whatever we name the other position, a founding Dharma teacher.

[43:58]

So we'll continue to have that same situation. I think we're leaving the question of what the structure is after that to a later discussion and to, for the new abbot. And there are a number of other structural questions that were raised in our, the board sponsors, we call them tees, although they were Zoom things, right? And some of them had to do with things like whether there should be term limits for Abbots and that kind of thing. And those are the kinds of things that we anticipate taking up and which Hozon has mentioned that he is quite willing to entertain. So those are future conversations. Nobody of the 45 or six people here has an itchy blue hand.

[45:12]

There's one, Stan, and then Sue Osher. Yeah. So Stan, would you unmute yourself and speak? OK. I want to thank, well, first I want to thank Sojin and Hozon. for their work together on this and their leadership around the transition. It's very touching, really. And I think the board has put together a good plan to do this. And I was involved with some people on some of the transition Ts, as we were calling them, Zoom meetings. people came forward with some good questions and good thoughts. And I think those got transmitted along the way to the board and to the, to Sojan and to Hosan. So, uh, this process is difficult, but I think, uh, it's being done wholeheartedly and, uh, I really appreciate people's approach to it.

[46:26]

It's just sort of beautiful. So, um, That's all I have. Thank you, Sam. So we'll pause and see if anybody else wants to speak. One person suggested we do some small groups. Sue has her actual hand up. Oh, Sue. OK, it disappeared, but now it's back. Sue, would you? It disappeared because I didn't wanna leave it up, but I mentally had it up. Thank you. It was really nice to sit with all of you here, all 44 or five of you. I wanna make sure you all know you're invited to participate if you're new.

[47:28]

And it's a little tricky with COVID, You're welcome to come to, as far as I know, practice committee meetings are still open. And those are Monday mornings at 8.40. And just start getting your feet wet on how we work. So we need to have you all participating in the future of this place. I also just want to, aside from thanking Sojin and Hosan deeply, I told my granddaughter in an earlier conversation tonight, she's the art school graduate, about the archive at Stanford, you know, and she was thrilled, Linda. So I just wanted you all to know that she knows a little something about archiving. And she said, oh, wow, isn't that great?

[48:30]

So that gave me a That was a kick. Thank you all very much. Thank you for this beautiful meeting. It doesn't look like we're going to have Any other question, comment, discussion? Aha, Leslie. Leslie or Jake, whoever that is, please unmute yourself and speak. Okay, I'll go first. I'm just so appreciative of all the work that's gone into this process. I know it's been months maybe more than months, maybe years, but I really appreciate what all of you have done.

[49:36]

There's been a lot of thought and talking to people and it seems to be going well. And whatever some of us can do to help you in the coming months, you know, it's wonderful. And I think that the Zoom process has gone, surprisingly well from when we first started all this. So I think it's been a great way to connect with people and to share these ideas and for you to inform us on how we're doing things. And the ceremonies will be interesting. And so I just want to show my appreciation. Thank you. Go ahead. So, first of all, it is so deeply encouraging, I think, to know that we're in such great hands, and we have been in great hands.

[50:42]

We've been held by Sojourn and Hoseon, and now Hoseon will step into the Abbasid. And to me, it seems, at this point, seamless. So I think that's a credit to the Habits and to the board. And thank you board for all you've done. When I was, I have to say in closing, when I was board president, I sometimes thought, well, will the transition occur during my term? Yeah. Okay. And I thought, how will we get all the people into the Zendo? Like we can't, this is going to be, we'll have to have a screen outside or multiple screens showing the the Mount Seat Ceremony, but now problem solved. Boom. The whole world can be invited. So I think that's kind of cool in its own way. And we'll see one another in the flesh soon enough.

[51:45]

So anyway, thank you both warmly. Hosan and Sojin, love you. Yes. Linda, can you see it, Mary? Yeah, yeah. Mary, you want to unmute yourself? Mary Mosin? So I want to talk to Alan first and say welcome, and I'm happy to recognize you as Abbott and look forward to it. And more importantly, I want to speak to Sojourn. There you are. Oh, good. This is wrenching for me. And it should be. If I were you, I heard that you asked a friend of mine, you said, are you going to fall apart when I die?

[52:47]

And she said, no, no. And I thought, well, I am. And we just had different definitions of it, I think, because I think she will, I think she'll fall apart, too. Anyway, but I just, I, this is, you know, I have other ways of talking to you. And I wasn't going to talk, but I thought, you know, here in the middle of the song, I want to say that this is, this is wrenching. This is part of the process of saying goodbye. And I think it's the right thing to do. And I think it's fine. And now I want to look great, and blah, blah, blah. And I will still have a relationship with you anyway. And it's wrenching. It's wrenching. That's all. And I know you're not gone yet.

[53:53]

But this seemed like a time to say this to you, because I love you very much. Thank you. Thank you, Mary. We'll go to Katie. Katie, would you unmute yourself? Sorry. hard to follow Mary there, but I just wanted to also express my appreciation for Sojin and the board and probably, and Hozon, and I'm sure people I don't even know about, making this transition so thoughtfully and so, with so much care and so much attention to all the little things that matter to our health as a community, our bonds as a community, and, you know, helping us see one of the many ways of dealing with impermanence, perhaps, and change.

[55:14]

And also I, I know Hozon has been leading from in the middle of the pack in his own way for many years. And I think it's going to be wonderful having you, Hozon, in the Abbott seat. I'm really excited. And also respecting all the feelings that Mary brought up. So, Hozon? Thank you, Katie. Hozon, would you unmute? Yeah, I was thinking about whether to say something or not say something. And I wanted to kind of align myself with what Mary Mocene said.

[56:24]

I'm finding, uh, it's not a question of my, my confidence about whether I can do the job of the advocacy. I think I can. And I also don't underestimate how hard it is going to be, but the emotional, uh, the emotional foundation of that, uh, the, generational passing and the thought of the shift in relationship between me and Sojin in you know at least in a in a kind of mechanical way is and the thought of of him not being here this is all this is very hard for me And I just wanted you to know that that's not, and what I'm noticing is that the more real this appears to get in terms of timelines and stuff, the harder it is.

[57:50]

And at the same time, I'm really, I'm fully committed to our community. all of the things that Sojin mentioned that are perspectives on how to be the abbot. I'm looking for how to support you and in your practice, which is the essential thing, and how to be able to work with the people who are here. And I actually feel that in this last period, the pandemic has really thrown us into very intimate working relationships. And I appreciate that. There's something missing in the day-to-day physical presence of each other.

[58:58]

but there's something heightened about the creativity that's been necessary to sustain our practice. And I think it sets us up well for coming rounds of change, change in advocacy, change in what's going to, you know, what's gonna happen how are we going to conduct our practice when we can get back together, you know, understanding that that's probably not going to be a seamless process. And so, um, that's, that's kind of what I expect to be collaborating with you all on. Otherwise I, I don't have an agenda or a plan, you know, there's not a lot that, that I think I might want to change. On the other hand, we have an object lesson in how fast change is thrust upon us, and how we have to grow and change in that respect.

[60:10]

So I think that's all I really need to say. But it's hard. It's, just taking it one day at a time, one step at a time. And I'm, I really appreciate that. That's what the, that's what the board has been, uh, has been creating this step-by-step process and, and Sojan, uh, really supporting and helping clarify that and leadership from, from Mary and others on the board and people in the song getting wide. So. take another minute or so of quiet and then see if there's anybody else who wants to speak.

[61:14]

Well, looks like we've spoken just the right amount. And I'm feeling kind of a warm feeling right around here, this part of my body. And so maybe we adjourn. Is there any other ritual event that we do to say goodbye? Well, we can certainly say the vows. But before we do, I just want to thank everybody. What a wonderful meeting. Just so heartwarming. And we're going to have another really nice ceremony tomorrow. We have seven members, new members, that are able to come. We had others, but not everyone can come due to work schedules, et cetera. So I hope you can join us. It'll be at 730. And Sojin and Hosan will be participating, of course, and welcoming our new members.

[62:29]

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