So, the greatest things I want to talk about, one is, you know, in Sashim, as in any endeavor, we start out with a certain amount of energy and effort, and at a midpoint, things start to tip. This is the story of our life. Everything is like this. Nothing goes consistently from beginning to end. There's always a point where it goes up, and it starts going down. We talk about mid-life crisis, whatever that means, whatever the midpoint is. So I want to remind everyone, or encourage everyone, to continue to be on time.

[01:09]

To be on time is what makes everything work. If we're not on time, everything starts to fall apart. So when it's time for Zazen, even though So I'm going to remind you of that. Zazen, our practice, is a whole practice. There are some practices in which people only do certain things, like zazen, sitting in a cushion. But our practice is a whole practice, because we make food for each other, put a lot of effort into how we sustain ourselves, each other, in this endeavor.

[02:11]

We clean the zendo, we clean the grounds. Do work is a part of our practice. So everything we do contains the essence of zazen. Zazen sitting, zazen walking, zazen preparing food, zazen eating the food, zazen opening your bowls. So it's all one complete practice. There's no one thing that is more important than another. Zazen or washing the dishes. In a monastic situation, we always, not always, if we can, we put a person doing something that they're not good at. or they're not expertise at. If someone is a good cook, I remember Suzuki Ryoshi saying, we do not ask the French chef to work in the kitchen. The French chef can maybe split firewood or clean the toilets or something, so that you don't do what you're good at.

[03:19]

That just enhances your self-centeredness. obstacle for everyone. Buddha is a big obstacle. He stands in the way of, or she, stands in the way of your self-centeredness. And so whatever we come up against is not that thing. We think that that which is blocking us is out there. But just the other way around, because we're always judging everything from the standpoint of our own self-centeredness. So when we come up against an obstacle, like Buddha, it's not Buddha's fault. We should look at ourselves. What is the obstacle within me that doesn't allow me to flow easily? What's stopping me?

[04:23]

Where are the knots? We say there are many knots. So how do we untie the knots so that we can actually flow in a selfless manner with the practice? in our practice. So, as I say, some practices only emphasize sitting, but our practice emphasizes daily life and sitting as one whole piece. This is what we have to understand. working in the kitchen, serving each other, shopping, working in the garden.

[05:36]

All these pieces are done in the realm of practice, which means just letting go. If you're asked to do something, you say, OK, and bow. Then you go away. That's practice. When you can do something, when you totally give yourself to what you're doing, you'll like it. You are sweeping the grounds. If you go to a place like Ryutaku-ji, strict practice, strict Rinzai practice in Japan, all day long the monks are sweeping the grounds. That's all I do. And then sometimes they do zazen. I remember at Page Street Zen Center, when Suzuki Roshi's room was just out on the street, and in the morning the monks would go out, students would go out and sweep

[07:00]

sidewalk because they're sweeping their own minds. So this brings up a talk, and during the practice period, giving several talks, which were wonderful talks. I've been giving some talks, and the subject matter, like subject matter yesterday, revolved around several things. One was acceptance. When you have some difficulty, what's the meaning of offering this to Buddha?

[08:13]

And another is, how the world works. And that's a great subject. It'll only take a few minutes to talk about that. Another subject was slavery. You're all slaves. What is Zazen? So, I want to talk about all these subjects, but I have to, I can't. But yes, I can. I'm going to try to talk about all these subjects, because they're all one subject, basically. Acceptance means, as it is, Acceptance is related to how the world works.

[09:22]

Basically, there are those people who want peace, and there are those people who don't want peace. That's because the world is a dualistic place. Everything, every action has an opposite equal reaction. That's all there is to it, if you think about it. Every action has an opposite equal reaction. So whatever you do brings up its opposite. Think about it. Everything you do brings up its opposite. So if we want peace, If we want war, it brings up peace. So peace and war are continually interacting with each other and bringing each other up. So what does Buddha say?

[10:30]

Buddha says, give up peace and war. Let go of peace and war. But this is very difficult, because war is there, and we have to respond to it with peace. But actually, mostly we respond to war with war. Because we are reactive. So the problem we have is our reactiveness. We have to keep looking at what is the problem with this problem, with this problem, with this problem, until we get down to what is the real problem. The real problem is that one thing brings up its opposite. So how do you reconcile the opposites? It's not like there will always be peace. There will always be peace, but it will be peace with war. There will always be war and there will always be peace.

[11:32]

Can you think of a time in history from Adam and Eve, if that's who they are, that there was not war? No. In your experience, has there been a time when there was not war? No. So it's all related to self-centeredness, selfishness. The bottom of everything is selfishness. So Buddha's message is, selfishness is the root of our problems. So selfishness is called desire, basically. It's also called delusion. Delusion and desire are the two, they're the same thing. But we live for desire. Desire is what drives us. So it's a really difficult situation, you know, because there's no way to deal with it.

[12:35]

As soon as we do, as soon as we accomplish one thing, it's destroyed. Everything is destroyed. Whatever we built is destroyed. And then we build again, and that's destroyed. When you go to China, what you want to see, if you visit China, is the old city, right? Because we understand what a new city looks like, you know, and it doesn't mean much to us. So you go to China and you see that they're tearing down all the old wonderful districts and building these new beautiful new districts. And so all you see is your own mirrored image. So this is life. The old gives way to the new and it becomes old and then it gives way to the new. There's nothing but destruction and building. Merits from good deeds, when associations become a little unfavorable, are destroyed with the flaring up of passion.

[14:04]

Our life is destruction of what has been built and building up of what has been destroyed. Underneath building, a destruction, and underneath destruction, a building, repeating again and again the same sort of things. All worlds of illusory attachment to the self are the same. This pitiable human state is symbolized in the Buddhist story of Sainokawara, which is apparently an old temple in Japan. In the ruined temple of Daisenji, there is a representation of Sainokawara, of which a good deal remains, because this is a story. There is the dry riverbed of the story, and in the middle stands a great stone figure of the Bodhisattva Jizo. Jizo is a bodhisattva that is compassionate toward children that die young.

[15:10]

Around it have been piled up countless little pagodas. This story is familiar to all Japanese, how those who die in early childhood go to this on building the pagodas. They remember their parents in the world and build one for their father and one for their mother, piling up the stones one by one. And then a demon suddenly rushes in from the side and, whirling an iron pole, smashes down everything they've built. The children, terrified, run to the stone pizzo and hide themselves for a while in the the stone towers, only to have them smashed down by the demon. If they are always to be destroyed, why build them?

[16:10]

But that will not do, for this is Sainokawara, a place where the karma associations find fulfillment. When the demon goes off, the crowds of children come out again and build their pagodas again. Just as they think they have finished, out comes the demon. what was broken down is rebuilt. Repeating again and again the same task is the state of Sayino Kawara. It is not our human condition like this also. This is kind of like Sisyphus. You roll up a stone and you get to the top. So in the worlds of relative good and evil, raised up on illusory attachment to self, we may do some good. But then when the karma associations are unfavorable, evil passions arise and destroy it all. We rebuild what was destroyed, and what we build again is destroyed.

[17:16]

When we think we have completed something, it disappears, and what has disappeared again comes about, so the endless wheel of life revolves. This is the character of the human condition, and in spiritual training it is called the law of circularity. It is like our karma, the wheel of life keeps circulating and extending itself and circularly coming back to where it began over and over again. This is called being caught by the world of samsara. So what I think to happen is we say this is the character of human conditions and in spiritual training it's called the law of circularity. This is all the shiftings of human nature. From the point of view of spirituality, it is only going around and around in the world of relative good and evil.

[18:19]

It is not the profound spirituality. All the worlds of illusory sticking to self are the worlds of birth and death. So, when we look at What is not so-called vanity? Vanity means doing something. This is called the world of vanity. Doing something in vain because there's no real profit from it. This is also the world of slavery. Some people keep others captive, right? And then we look at that as slavery.

[19:21]

But the slave master paradigm has been there here from the beginning. It just changes its methods. And then we had the Civil War and so forth. But the Civil War never ended. It's still going on. Because North and South always fight with each other in every country. North and South are always a division, even though there may not be North and South in the usual sense. But now we have slavery. Slavery is extended over the world.

[20:21]

So all of our manufacturing is given over to the slavery in other worlds, in other countries. And so it's expanded in that way. People working for are voluntary. We voluntarily get addicted to our little things. Right? That's because we can be controlled that way. And we are controlled that way. If you don't have a handheld, whatever it's called, he keeps changing his name, you're out of it. You're out of the circulation. You're out of society. I am not a member of society because I don't have one of those. I'm too stupid to know how to make it work, so I'm fortunate.

[21:27]

So we voluntarily give ourselves over and then we're controlled without realizing that we're being controlled. TV, I mean a computer lasts about five years before you have to get a new one. You don't have to, but they tell you you have to. It's implied. You have to keep getting the latest thing. You have to get the latest news watch. This is voluntary slavery. You're giving yourself over So how do you get out of that? How do you save yourself? Buddhism is a religion of salvation. It means salvation from what?

[22:37]

From illusion, delusion, and suffering. Suffering and delusion. So we have to understand what it is that is delusory and what is delusory, so that we can step out of it. I remember one time, I don't know if you remember this, there was a movie about the time machine. You go back in time. Somebody invented the time machine and this guy goes into it and he's back in time. No, he's ahead in time. He's in the future. And in the future he finds himself in this place where There are demons who control everything. Does that sound familiar? There are demons, and they eat people. And the people are all kind of some nebulous, you know, happy, they're happy, they send happiness.

[23:43]

sex, all these things are voluntary slavery, or involuntary actually. And then he has this girlfriend that he meets there and he loves her. He wants to take her back to now. But it's really difficult because she belongs to them. But he's trying to save her because she's the next one that's going to be eaten. and they voluntarily go and allow themselves to be eaten. So, this is the paradigm. This is what Buddha has been talking about since 250 or 500 B.C., is how not to get caught by, or enslaved, or become a victim, actually, of delusion. victim of delusion.

[24:58]

So our practice is built on, around, how not to become a victim of delusion and suffering. So how the world works and slave master things and the middle class has to do its bidding in order to survive. Everyone has to do its bidding in order to survive. It's just going that way. It's been going that way. But people are somnambulists. They don't see it. And people have to go along with it, otherwise they lose their So, um... So how do you save the world?

[26:22]

Bodhisattva practice. Save the world. All sentient beings are nimblest. I vow to save them. You say, awaken with them. I think that's good. Awaken with them or save. But save sounds a little egotistical. That's why we say awaken with. Because we equate ourselves with those that we are saving. We don't separate ourselves from those. We know and we're going to save you. It's just that we all are in this together and let's all wake up. So that's why we say awaken with. Let's all wake up. So waking up is called practice. Actually, practice waking up. The third ancestor says, be aware. That's my message. Be aware. Wake up. And that's the Dharma. So instead of sitting zazen,

[27:26]

Without standing up, forever, we get up and do stuff. That's also Zazen. So, whatever we do is offered to humanity. This is our offering. Zazen is our offering, and whatever else we can do is our offering. So, we're a Bodhisattva, and that's what the life is about. It's not about getting something for yourself. It's about really putting, helping people to awake, to stay awake. So we have this vow of saving all beings, so to speak.

[28:34]

So how do we do that? Sometimes people say, I can't take that vow because it's impossible. If you take this literally, of course, it's impossible. But practice is what is impossible. But we do it because it's impossible. So that's what keeps the practice going. That's why basically Buddhism is such a strict practice.

[29:40]

It's always been strict. Monastic practice has always been very strict. Lay practice, not as strict in the same sense, but what is strict? Strict doesn't necessarily just have to follow the rules. So there are rules, which means this is the foundation of our practice. These are the rules. But actually, there are no rules. But in between the rules and no rules is how we actually do something. So life is improvisational. We meet circumstances. not fixed. And if we meet circumstances that are not fixed with something fixed, then we become rigid.

[30:49]

And if we meet circumstances that are not fixed with no rules, we become lax or there's nothing there. So in between the two, we have to Open mind. This is acceptance. Acceptance means you simply have an open mind. Not a fixed mind. When you're sitting Zazen, you have problems. Is there anybody here who's never had a problem? So one of its biggest problems is called pain. Emotional pain, physical pain, so forth.

[31:53]

So how do we deal with pain? This is the problem of the world. The problem of Zazen is the same problem as the world. Everything that you experience in Zazen is what you experience in the world, fundamentally. But in the world, you can move around. and pretend that you're fixing it. But you're not. You're just changing your equipment, as my old teacher would say. We just change our equipment. But as soon as you get comfortable, it starts to hurt. So you change your position and get comfortable. And the more it gets comfortable, the more it hurts. We live in a dualistic world, like and not like, good and bad, right and wrong, want and not want.

[33:07]

You have to get all that out in order to have true comfort. That's what Sahajan teaches us. It's the most fundamental teaching we've learned. a Buddhist teaching through Zazen. Everything we need to know fundamentally is there in Zazen. This is total acceptance of the way everything is. It doesn't mean you can't change it, but we have to accept it to be one with. So my old teacher would say, when your legs are painful, you just become one with the pain. As soon as you don't like it, you become dualistic. As soon as you don't like it, you start to suffer. As soon as you don't want it, you start to suffer. So this is what we mean by acceptance. It means to step out of suffering.

[34:11]

And to step out of suffering means to let go of self-centeredness. The purpose of Buddhism is to step out of suffering by letting go of self-centeredness. Letting go of selfishness. we just keep descending into complexity, more and more complexity, until we just keep, you know, getting mired in complexity. That's why politics doesn't work, because it just keeps getting more and more complex. And you just want to go, whew! It's simple. to self and suffers.

[35:23]

When you realize that the whole self, that yourself is the whole universe and you identify with the universe as yourself instead of just this little person, then you don't suffer in the same way because yourself covers the whole universe. sitting is the most extreme restriction. But it's also the doorway to the highest freedom. That's why I said, to experience freedom. And the problems we have are But you don't think so. You think, my knees hurt.

[36:29]

Yes, your knees hurt. My knees hurt. But as soon as I say I don't like it, that's when my knees hurt. Otherwise, it's just a sensation. We create. be one with, when you're one with something then there's no opposite, no opposition. When there's an opposite You have to go into it and not separate ourselves.

[37:36]

And what separates ourselves is, I don't like it, I don't want it, I'd rather have this, blah, blah, blah. And so, Buddha says, the cause of suffering is wanting. But then wanting is our life. But actually, we don't need so much. When we're young, we need more. But when you're old, you need just as much. when we're sitting Zazen, as soon as you feel the discomfort, I call it, you become one with it, instead of trying to escape.

[38:49]

Escape is very subtle. Our minds are very subtle, and they'll tell us anything we want to know. Our thoughts will reinforce any escape mechanism is to let go of self-centeredness and just be one with. Because when you're one with, there's no opposite. Problem comes from opposition. We don't think we have opposition, but we do. Because the intrusion brings up its opposite, or its reflection.

[39:52]

this. So when I talk to you about Zazen posture, sit up straight and open yourself. This gives you the opportunity to accept everything. It's really harder because we're not open. So instead of shutting down, you become more open. You can't have bliss unless you're totally open. That's what bliss is. Bliss is being selfless. That's what bliss is. No self and totally open and one with the universe. I wish the bush would come. When is it going to arrive?

[41:06]

I'm really, really confused about the delusion that we have about our children. The way in which I wanted to have the... The way in which I am with the Jizo is a delusion because I cannot accept that the children that I've lost live in that demon realm. I have this delusion that I love those little beings and they were taken away but that doesn't mean that I don't love them. I can't have that feeling of children with the Jizo tormented doing that.

[42:42]

Oh, yeah. Well, you know, we are the children. It's not really about little children. Yes, it's about little children. It's a story. But it's really about we are all little children. When Buddha sees us, He sees us as his own little children. We see each other in various ways. And of course, when I say Buddha, Buddha is our higher understanding. With our higher understanding, we see everybody as children. So a Bodhisattva is supposed to see everyone as their children, and treat everyone as their children. Not take the metaphor literally, okay? Don't take the metaphor.

[43:42]

If you take anything in Buddhadharma as literal, you're lost. Because it's all alluding to something. It's all the finger pointing. Finger pointing is the teaching. It's not like, don't mistake the finger. Don't get hung up on the finger. story is alluding to. If you take a koan, literally, it's very confusing. What is the meaning of something given a... This is why myth is the truth, because it's not factual. If you go back in history, nothing's factual.

[44:44]

You see these old buildings that are crumbling, but there's some factuality, some factuality. But did you ever read a story that was written about you in a newspaper? Who was that guy? And that's just, you know, familiarity. Think of all the history that's written by people who've never been there, and that happened So in Buddhism there's a lot of mythology actually. It's all mythology. And that's what makes it truthful. Because you know it's not factual, but the story is alluding to something. So you understand the story through your intuition, not through the facts. So what do you do?

[45:45]

How do you find your salvation in that? That's what the story's about. So Jizo is like our compassion, which, you know, as the children, we rushed in many faith in Jizo. We don't have that kind of orientation in our practice. Because when Zen came to America, there was a lot that was left behind from Japan, and a lot of mythology that was left behind. So we just have the bare stuff. And when we use these stories like Jizo and Bodhisattvas and so forth, they don't mean the same thing to us as they do to people who are brought up in that tradition.

[46:56]

So it's like when we say Gala, it has a, no matter, for me, it has a big meaning that's very deep, but for other people it doesn't have any meaning at all. unless you're kind of brought up in a certain tradition or have oriented that way. So you have to understand that Jizo has meaning for people in Japan, whereas it doesn't have much meaning for people here because we're not brought up in that tradition. Zen is a faith-based practice. It's not... We don't have those... That mythology is not part of our practice. But still, we use those metaphors.

[48:02]

Sojin, at our Jizo altar, we have the ashes of Many beloved people and I think bowing really helps a lot when I go to the Jesus when I go by there I like to bow and then we have you know, Rebecca made that and you can kind of see her face shine forth. That's right, her daughter's face is So we have our own new cultural approach to Jizo here. We don't emphasize it, but it's there. Yeah. When you were talking about... Yeah. Going back to the early part of your talk, I found myself thinking that You have a deep understanding of emptiness and tazen, but I found myself thinking that you don't, for me, have a satisfying understanding of form.

[49:15]

I want to explain that. When you spoke about slavery, as if the addiction that many of us have to our, say, our devices, I care about that. Addiction brought me to practice and still keeps me in practice. I think it is a kind of slavery. But when you imply that that's somehow equivalent or comparable to the history of the kidnapping of thousands of Africans and the enslavement and the whipping and the killing and the terror going right on up to today, I feel that's a mistake. That's a misleading teaching. Well, you may think that. Yes, I can understand how you think that, but that's not what I mean. I don't know how you come to that conclusion. I'm not saying that they're all the same.

[50:35]

Each one is different, but they all have the same base. Some are involuntary slavery. You're talking about involuntary slavery. I'm talking about involuntary and voluntary. Some of them say, of course I feel that. What do you mean? What do you think I am? I think it's important to express the difference. Yes, I do too. I remember. I found it very interesting. You were saying that when we're sitting in Zazen, we're one, and then there's a pain. And so I see the Zazen as kind of an empty circle, and then there's a pain and it takes a shape. inside that circle. And I, and the pain, I take the shape to accommodate that. And the master and the slave, a person who becomes a slave, takes a shape to accommodate the master.

[51:42]

And when he meets the master in the world, he's in the shape to be enslaved. And so, it's by taking the shape of form that we realize the being of a slave or the being of a victim. And I just thought it was wonderful the way you put it today. Thank you. I kind of understand what you're saying. I'm not sure if I understand what you're saying. But if it's not clear, the idea is that there's a yang force that meets a yin. And if we're in zazen, where we're not feeling separate from anything, then we don't have a yin to have a yang introduced. And so each one of us has to find the balance between our masculine and feminine sides. That's the same with the world. It's like Hinayana and Mahayana.

[52:44]

Hinayana is not just restricted to Buddhism. It's the narrow way. It's more masculine. Whereas Mahayana is more feminine because it's more inclusive. It's like, you know, accepting. Whereas Hinayana is more individual. And individual and collective are the two sides. And those have to be reconciled and become one. So the masculine and feminine in each side of us is the same. It has to be reconciled. And the good and the bad and the right and the wrong, all the opposites have to be oneness within. And that's what satyan does. Yeah, I understand what you're saying, even though the metaphors are a little strange to me. I do understand what you mean. Alan? Well, Zazen is a unitary experience.

[53:47]

Yeah, a unifying experience. And from there you move to the complexity of Master-Slave and also of the story from Habit of War. There was a context for that story. You were leading us there, but I'm curious where he goes. But there are some things, perhaps, that are unacceptable. Yes. Oh, of course. So where is acceptance and unacceptability?

[54:50]

What is the dance that they do? Yeah. We look at the duality of being moved and unmoving. Acceptance is to be unmoved. And the response is to move. Do you understand? To accept means unmoving. You just hold it. Whatever it is, you just hold it. And then you have a response, which is moving. So, out of acceptance, you know how to move. If you don't know how to accept, then you may not have a correct movement. Unless you have a foundation for how to move, it's usually incorrect.

[55:58]

So the foundation for moving is holding and stillness. I just wanted to say that's a great way of putting it. One of the ways I say it to myself is clear seeing. To be able to hold it, see it clearly. But acceptance doesn't necessarily mean something is acceptable. That's right. It's not the same as acceptable. But I really like the idea that there is stillness and then movement. We don't just stay in seeing clearly. Right, because unless you have the stillness of holding, you react. Because reaction comes from not having a true base. Sometimes you have to react very quickly to something. But that's different. I'm going to end with this little I don't know.

[57:09]

He says a lot, so... We have nowhere to go. He says, the Patriarch Dogen says in his Chevrolet Gazelle, If you think of following the way of the Buddhists and patriarchs, have no expectation, no seeking, no clutching, without purpose, pursue the way of the ancient sages and tread the footsteps of the old masters. It is without purpose and therefore without thought of result. Throw right away the idea of acquiring merit and follow the words and footsteps of the ancient sages, such is the way of the Buddha children, that the Buddha children particular story are to follow. In the state where there is emptiness, in the depths of the heart, there is no building up at all.

[58:17]

So there's nothing to tear down. But in compensation, there is no knocking down. It is just because we feel something has been built that there is a corresponding destruction. Oh, Shariputra, this is a hard sutra. O Shariputra, all these things have the character of emptiness, neither born nor dying, and this is the experience and reality within birth and death. Within birth and death there is no birth and death. There is one little thing to add. Where there is building up through impure goodness, even in the very impure goodness, let us try to establish the world of emptiness. And where there is breaking down through ignoble evil, In each moment of that breaking down, let us try to establish the great world of emptiness. This is commentary on the Heart Sutra.

[59:18]

So, it's difficult. It's difficult because our lives are built on delusion. Delusion. But it's hard for us to see that. Have you ever read the Homeless Kodo book of sayings from Swati Roshan? I have. He says something about participating in loss. Something is the participation in loss. Yes. I don't know what he says, but participating in loss. When you lose, Just let it be. That's acceptance. When somebody dies, be completely remorseful.

[60:19]

Be what? Be completely remorseful, or whatever. Feel what you feel, completely. Do what you do, completely. Then there's no opposite. And you can be real. It sounds like what you're saying again and again here is that the response to whatever is found immediately in what you're confronted with. Yes, the response because it comes from emptiness. That's the place. That's the place where it comes from. right and wrong is at the basis. But unless you can get beyond right and wrong, it's hard to know what is right and wrong.

[61:26]

Because our right and wrong are built on our preference. Everything is built on preference. So to go beyond preference is reality. And when you get beyond preference, then right and wrong can reveal itself in a true way, and not just a preferential way. This politician says, this is wrong. right and wrong. It's all about preference. It's all about what I want, what these people want. I have to say, not all politicians are like that. But our world is burning. You know, when there's someone who rebels, it's called a terrorist.

[62:40]

But from their side, they're called the Savior. Right? And if you really put aside all preference, you can look at that and see what is really happening. But because of our preference, we can't see what's really happening. And we don't want to look at what's really happening. Because what's really happening, if we looked at what was really happening, we'd have to blame ourselves. participating in the delusions that are running the world. There are forces that are so far from our understanding about How old is the self?

[63:50]

How old is what? The self. How old is the self? Meets me. That's a good koan. See that's a koan. How old? What self are you talking about? All of it. The history of it. It's being born every moment. It's all new. It's all new. Anyway, that's enough of this.

[64:28]

@Text_v004
@Score_JJ