and glory forever and ever. Amen. Greetings to everyone. In this address we will reflect on the peace that comes through our charitable dealings with others that we have special fellowship with, i.e. our brethren in community. We should seek ways peacefully to resolve or address those issues that arise in community situations. Newman said, nothing but charity will enable you to live well or to die well. Let me begin with a story. A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise of the wagon overturning. Hey, will you? the farmer yelled. Forget your troubles, come with us. Then I'll help you get the wagon up."

[01:01]

That's mighty nice of you, Willis answered, but I don't think Pa would like me to. Oh, come on, the farmer insisted. Well, OK, the boy finally agreed and added, but Pa won't like it. After a hearty meal, Willis thanked his host. I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset. Don't be foolish, the neighbour said with a smile. By the way, where is he? Under the wagon. There are issues in community. There are awkward people, brothers who hold an opposing view to ours. The tensions that come between brethren who want to change things, and those who want things to remain as they are, But as they perceive it, certain other brethren will never be satisfied no matter what we do, so we might as well leave things as they are.

[02:07]

There are the endless cycle of meetings, trying to decide the next thing or whether to go back to what we used to do in the past. Different views between those who feel that we are to relate to the world, so we need to modernise, but for others this means not modernisation, but secularization, bringing the world into the monastery which I believe it to be. For some, they believe they came into the monastery to leave some of the values of the world behind. They want pure religious life. As they put it, you can find what you want in lots of places out there in the world, but the only place where I can live the authentic religious life is right here in a monastery. They argued, if you are so unhappy with our office, our habits, our rules, our timetable, our traditional ways of doing things, why did you come to this monastery?

[03:10]

You can probably substitute another unhappiness, but you get the principle of what I'm saying. The difficulty is, out there in the world, if there is unhappiness, you can change jobs. You can change church. Or if we move away entirely, what do we do in a community where we are vowed to each other for life? We usually try to find a compromise. A secretary, a paralegal and a partner in a big North World firm are walking to a park on their way to lunch. when they find an antique or a lamp. They rob it, and the genie comes out in a pot of smoke. The genie says, I usually only grant three wishes. Well, give each of you just one. Me first, me first, says the secretary.

[04:14]

I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world. Oof, she's gone. Me next, me next, says the paralegal. I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with an endless supply of pina coladas. Poof, she's gone. You're next, the genie says to the partner of the roll phone. The partner says, I want those two back in the office right after lunch. Trying to find a compromise. The reality is that when you compromise between two opposing views trying to please everybody, no one is pleased. Both parties go away unhappy and you end up watering things down to the lowest common denominator so that even those caught between the two factions in the middle ground end up demoralized and life becomes unbearable for all because of the distractions.

[05:20]

Why did we come to community? For our own way, or to love and serve Jesus? Did we not understand that the religious life is a life of sacrifice? That our spiritual path would involve the trials of awkward brethren and the pitfalls of our desires, no matter how we might sanitise it by saying that we are wanting the best good of our community, Jesus' disciples were not perfect. Many of our likes and dislikes have their basis in our own fears, pride and envy. Someone once said, the greatest good you can do a lover is not just to share your riches, but to reveal to him his own. Someone else said,

[06:22]

It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see. And as a rabbi once said, laugh is not blind, it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less. What we see, our true opinions of others, tends to come out often in chapel or the refectory. There was an incident that happened in our former community many years ago when a sister got so fed up with another sister during office singing loudly, at her own pace, and totally ignoring or being oblivious to the presentry. So the annoying sister, who was standing in the stall above her, simply took her vest for soldier and kicked the sister in front of her on the head in the middle of office. Apparently everyone was so astonished that they did what we normally do on such occasions.

[07:28]

Pretended that nothing was amiss and kept going on in office without a pause as if nothing had happened. And there are petty disputes that go back to an officiate day. I know of another community where two of the brethren do not communicate except officially in terms of work. when the original argument took place more than 30 years before about whether or not to open a window. In most monasteries there are brethren who believe the monastery is a fridge and others who believe it is a greenhouse. I have watched a sister come into the room and fling the windows wide open. Then a few seconds later another sister comes in Turn to be unaware of what has just taken place and she goes straight to the open window and shuts it. There is no compromise that will satisfy both opinions.

[08:32]

We smile wryly, yet what about any misunderstanding between us? It is time now to move out of the holes we have dug ourselves in, or the pitfalls we have thorn our heads long into, perhaps not even falling into but jumped into from entrenched positions. As someone once said, no one can go back and make a brand new start, but anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending. We now need to nip that out. Holding on to anger, resentment and hurt only gives you tense muscles, a headache, and the sore jaw from clenching your teeth. Forgiveness gives you back the laughter and lightness of life. The question is, what do we do with our disagreements?

[09:38]

Newman explains his thoughts in this way. We feel then How absurd it is when writers talk magnificently about loving the whole human race with a comprehensive affection of being friends of all mankind. This is not to love men, it is but to talk of love. The real love of man must depend on practice. He goes further. Real love must depend on practice and therefore must begin by exercising itself on our friends, by submitting to their wishes, though contrary to our own, by bearing with their infirmities, by overcoming their occasional waywardness by kindness, by dwelling on their excellences. Thus it is that we form in our hearts that root of charity, which those small at first

[10:43]

Laying like the mustard seed, at last even overshadows the earth. To love in this way means putting others before ourselves. Love for our neighbour means there is no room for self-love. If we are astray, getting back on the right path of the Spirit, getting back onto the right path of the Spirit, path will involve a change of direction. There is a saying, when our back is towards God, any direction is wrong. Bloom reminds us how peace and joy are the keynotes to the Christian character. Bloom is no Christian temper, that repentance is not will which has not love in it, that self-translatement is not acceptable, which is not weakened by faith and fearfulness.

[11:46]

We must live in sunshine, even when in sorrow. We must live in God's presence. We must not shut ourselves up in our own hearts. The Christian has a deep, silent, hidden peace which the world sees not. It is the presence of the Eternal Comforter in which he joys. He can lay his head on his pillow at night and own in God's sight his overflowing heart which he wants nothing, that God has given all things to him and that nothing is not his which God could give him. God gives to us and we must give of ourselves for the sake of others. Giving Three men had won the lottery and had split the money into three equal parts but all of them wanted to give some of their money to the church.

[12:48]

The first man said, I'm going to draw a circle on the ground and throw all my money up in the air. Whatever lands in the circle I will keep and the rest I will give to the church. The second man said, I will throw my money in the air. If it lands heads up, I will give it to the church, and the rest I will keep for myself. The third man said, I will throw all of my money up in the air. The money that stays up in the air, I will give to the church, and the money that falls to the ground, I will keep for myself. The rule of the Benedict is clear. Harbour neither hatred nor jealousy of anyone, and do nothing out of envy. Do not laugh poorly, shun arrogance, pray for your enemies out of love for Christ.

[13:51]

If you have an excuse with someone, make peace with him before the sun goes down. So we're told to be reconciled, to make up before sundown. The Bible gives us these positive steps to take at the end of the day. Be angry, but do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your anger and give no opportunity to the devil. So what do we do in practice? Do we go to our brother and say, Brother, I feel unhappy with what has taken place or the decision that has been reached? I'm burning with resentment and hardly grievous feelings. Please pray for me. More practical tips. So if you're offering your gift at the altar, and we heard that this morning, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be ready to offer to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.

[14:54]

Newman explained why empathy is such a sacred Christian virtue. The first duty of charity is to try and enter into the mind and feelings of others. Following Willem's directions, I'm going to offer you five practical tips for brotherly charitable fellowship when there are disputes. The first is silence. Mark Twain Once went to a dinner party where the chief subject of conversation was talk about eternal life and future punishment. Twain sat in silence throughout the conversation. Finally a woman asked, why do you not say anything? I would like to hear your opinion on eternal life or future punishment.

[16:00]

Madam, you must excuse me, Twain replied. I am silent of necessity. I apprend in good places. Silence. Wipe your tongue. Impatient, heartless temper should have no place amongst those consecrated to Christ. When tempted, clamp your jaws shut and keep them that way. Flee. If you cannot keep silence, then flee. Get away from the situation. After being with his blind date all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with her. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him on the phone, so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened.

[17:03]

When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, I have some bad news. My grandfather just died. Thank heavens, the state replied. If yours hadn't, mine would have had to. So if you can't be kind, then please get away from the situation. suggestion is excuse. Always give the other the benefit of the doubt. Look for ways to excuse him as you would wish him to do for you. Jesus the dead is crucified, excusing them for they know not what they are doing. And I've already told you about this Native American saying which is Do not judge another until you've walked a mile in his democracy, because none of us knows what another person has to struggle with or what they've already overcome.

[18:13]

It's huge. Don't jump to conclusions. Big John doesn't pay. One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus carriage, started his bus and drove off along the route. No problems for the first few stops. A few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well. At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet eight, built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at the driver and said, Big John doesn't pay, and sat down at the back. Did I mention that the driver was 5 feet 3, thin and basically neat? Well he was. Naturally, he didn't argue with Big John, but he wasn't happy about it. The next day, the same thing happened. Big John got on again, made a show of refusing to pay and sat down.

[19:18]

And the next day, and the next, and the next. disgraced on the bus driver, who started to lose sleep of the way Big John was taking advantage of him. Finally, he could stand it no longer. He signed up for bodybuilding courses, karate, judo and all that stuff. By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong. What's more, he felt really good about himself. So on the next Monday, When Big John once again got on the bus and said, Big John doesn't pay, the driver stood up, he looked back at the passenger and screamed, and why not? With a surprised look on his face, Big John replied, Big John has a bus pass. Do not charge another. The fourth thing, forgive.

[20:23]

If you cannot excuse your brother, then forgive him. Not once, but 70 times 7. Forgiveness. A certain man wanted to sell his house. Another man wanted to buy it, but because he was poor, he couldn't afford the full price. After much bargaining, the owner agreed to sell the house for half the original price with just one stipulation. He would retain ownership of one small male protruding from just over the door. After several years, the original owner wanted the house back, but the new owner was unwilling to sell. So the first owner went out, found the carcass of the dead animal and hung it from the single male he still owned. the house became unlivable and the family was forced to sell the house to the owner of the nail.

[21:29]

If we leave the devil, even with one small peck in our life, he will return to hang his rotten garbage on it, making it unfit for Christ's habitation. Forgiveness means removing the nail. If we have any doubt as to whether or not we have truly forgiven, we can ask how many of the following signs of true forgiveness we recognise. Close your eyes. Actually, when you look at this one day and you see the fourth one, it's spelt incorrectly. It should be spelt differently and it makes sense for the moment. Close your eyes. These are the signs of true forgiveness. No reminder of the offence. No cold shoulder. No angry pouting.

[22:33]

No cold affection. No withheld favour. No elimination of routine kindness. No stubborn uncooperativeness. No superior smiles. No failed threats. No humiliation in front of others. You can open your eyes. Forgiveness involves risk. To laugh is to risk appearing a fool. To weep is to risk appearing sentimental. To reach out for another is to risk involvement.

[23:38]

To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self. To place your ideas, your dreams before a crowd is to risk their loss. To love is to risk not being loved in return. To live is to risk dying. To hope is to risk despair. To try is to risk failure. But risk must be taken, for the greater hazard is to risk nothing. The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing and is nothing. They may avoid suffering and sorrow, but they cannot learn, change, grow, love, live. Changed by their attitude, they are a slave. They have prostitute freedom. Only a person who risks is free.

[24:43]

For many of our brothers, love does not come naturally. In the midst of contradictions, disappointments, even contempt, the final tool for charitable fellowship is prayer. Pray. Pray a blessing on your brother. Pray earnestly, fervently and repeatedly, for we are told, finally all of you have unity of spirit love of the brethren, a tender heart and a humble mind. Do not return evil for evil, or reviving for reviving, but on the contrary bless, for to this you have been called, that you may obtain a blessing." Charlie was a regular visitor at the Ledge Camp. One afternoon he noticed an unusual sight. Right before the first race a Catholic priest visited one of the horses in the stable area and gave it a blessing.

[25:53]

Charlie watched the horse race very carefully and sure enough the blessed horse came in first. Charlie followed the priest before the next race and again he went to the stables and performed a similar procedure. Sure enough the blessed horse came in by two lengths. and Charlie won close to $50. The priest continued the same procedure through the next few races and Charlie won each time. So in three races, Charlie left the track and went to the bank and withdrew his life savings of $20,000. The biggest race of the day was the last one. Charlie followed the priest and watched carefully which horse he'd left. He then went to the betting window and put his whole life savings on that horse to win. Then Charlie went out to watch the horses race. Down the stretch they came and as they crossed the finish line, the horse Charlie's fortune was bet on, came in dead last.

[26:57]

Charlie was crushed. He located the priest and told him that he'd been watching him bless the horses all day and they all became winners except the last horse on which he had bet his life savings. Charlie then asked, what happened to the last horse which you blessed? Why didn't it win like the others? That's the trouble with you Protestants, replied the priest. You can never tell the difference between a blessing and the last right. Knowing many of our brethren shall become natural. Naturally they are different from us. They don't share the same view or values. We just don't understand them and they don't seem to get us either. Yet deep down we would all like things to be different. This is part of the package of community life and so being able to love our brethren is a desire of our hearts.

[28:04]

Will you be the ones who will serve me intently Will you listen to the heart cries of your neighbour after everyone else has walked away? Will you be the one who stays up longest to hear his woeful story? Will you be the one who looks longest to come face with me in the decadent, the derelict, the alcoholic? Will you try to find contendence of the father in the one who slanders you? Will you be the one to keep on loving even when the love is unrequited? Will you ask others in to share your meal when there is no assurance of your next meal? Will you go forth and console others when your own need of consolation is beyond tears? Will you forgive others even though others refuse to forgive you?

[29:08]

Care when no one cares? Love when no one loves. Fill others from your own emptiness. Could you rather pardon than be pardoned? Could you rather like than be liked? Understand rather than be understood. Can you accept insult and give false praise in exchange? Take ridicule and give false understanding in exchange? Will you listen attentively even though your own problems are thundering in your heart? Will you speak lovingly of my will even when it has crushed you? Then, surrendered heart, minister to my people in pure love. Let me invite you to hear me speaking to you

[30:09]

in this prayer of his, a prayer for relatives, friends and enemies. Jesus, Son of Mary, we pray for all who are near and dear to us. We beg you to bring them all into the light of your truth, or to keep them in your truth, if they already know it, and to keep them in a state of grace and to give them the gift of perseverance. Lord, we pray for our fathers and our mothers, for our children, for our brothers and sisters, for our friends, for our neighbours, for our superiors and rulers, for those who wish us well, for those who wish us ill, for our enemies, for our rivals, to our injuries and for our smartness, and not only for the living but for the dead who have died in the grace of God, that he may shorten their time of expiation and admit them into his presence above.

[31:30]

Amen.

[31:33]

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