Brother John, thank you all for coming to this retreat. I might just mention in advance I hope that each conference will be about a half hour long. Of course, it's not the conferences that make the retreat. It's the time you spend in prayer, probably, in silence, in between the conferences, and the work of the Holy Spirit, of course. So let us pray for one another that the Holy Spirit really work, that we open ourselves. There's no problem with the Holy Spirit working. The problem is with our allowing the Holy Spirit to work through our times of prayer and silence in the conferences. I might just mention that there is some free time tomorrow when we're not either in communal prayer or at meals when, if you want to see me for confession or spiritual direction or just to talk about something, I want to make myself available.

[01:02]

And Brother John has said the best place for that will be in one of the parlors near the gift shop. You probably know where they are. I don't, but I think I'll find them easily enough. So I'll be down there. I think there's some time after the 10-15 conference tomorrow in the morning, and then in the afternoon, there are no conferences scheduled. So I'll probably spend much of my time if I'm not praying up here in the parlor. Well, I'll be, if you don't want to see me, that's fine. I can pray. But if you do want to see me, um, I should be available there for individual conferences or confession, if you wish. Let us begin in prayer in the name of the father and of the son and of the Holy spirit. Amen. All loving and merciful God, our Father, you have taught us never to lose hope in your mercy.

[02:05]

We are sinful and our lives are terribly disordered, yet we trust that you hear us and have compassion, infinite compassion for all of us. Help us during this retreat to grow in joyful hope and in confidence in your mercy. so that we might also grow in the capacity to share your merciful love to others. We ask this through Christ our Lord. Mary, our Lady of the Rosary, pray for us. Saint Benedict. In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. Can you all hear me all right? Is this working well? All right. Well, I thought I would be, this, these conferences are how the Oblate can participate in God's mercy. This is the year of mercy and how the rule uses the word mercy to help us on our journeys as disciples of Christ and of St.

[03:12]

Benedict in particular. Actually, these conferences are more or less what I gave a few months ago, so I wouldn't have to redo, redo, do another whole retreat or compose another whole retreat, which is pretty time consuming. The word mercy in the original rule, which of course was written in Latin, is misericordia. And in my Latin dictionary, misericordia can mean pity, sympathy, or mercy. Miser, the adjective, of course, we think of our own adjective, miserable, can mean wretched, poor, pitiful, or miserable. Cor, or cordis, which is the genitive, the possessive form of cor, is heart. So misericordia is not so much misery of the heart, but it is having, sharing in another's misery, misery in the heart.

[04:14]

That means a sharing of another's misery or compassion. It turns out I have this large version of the Holy Rule, which some of you may have. This is the little version. I didn't want to carry the big version. It's too heavy to pack with everything else. But the word misericordia or a variant of it occurs seven times in the rule in chapters four, seven, 34, 37, 53, and 64, two times. And I hope to cover all those uses, or maybe most of them anyway. We'll see how the conferences go. Sometimes it is translated as kindness or compassion, but usually mercy. And we'll go into that as our conferences proceed. Psalm 103 is a beautiful psalm of praise for God's mercy. I want to read a few verses from Psalm 103. And remember, the holy rule is based largely on Scripture.

[05:18]

Probably a third or so of the rule consists of Scripture quotes. These are verses 6 to 13 of Psalm 103. The Lord secures justice and the rights of all the oppressed. He has made known his ways to Moses and his deeds to the children of Israel. Merciful and gracious is the Lord, slow to anger and abounding in kindness. He will not always chide, nor does he keep his wrath forever. Not according to our sins does He deal with us, nor does He requite us according to our crimes. For as the heavens are high above the earth, so surpassing is His kindness toward those who fear Him. As far as the East is from the West, so far has He put our transgressions from us. As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him.

[06:27]

So this song really is a very beautiful reflection on God's mercy, compassion. St. John says God is love. Well, we could also say mercy is a big component of God is mercy or he is the fullness of mercy. He's always ready to forgive. His mercy is limitless. That's hard to believe. I think all of us find it hard to believe. We're less merciful on ourselves, probably, than God is merciful to us. It's too good to be true. And we just have to keep meditating it on to let the truth of God's mercy sink in. Of course, the more we know God's mercy, the more we have an obligation to receive it and to show it to others. And our Lord is very insistent upon that, forgiving others as we have been forgiving, showing mercy to others. as we have been shown mercy. Uh, one use of the word mercy in the rule is in chapter four.

[07:30]

And I think it may be the most important verse in the whole rule for chapter four, verse 74. We'll hear the verses around it versus 74 to 70, well, 74 to 77. It's the last instrument of good works. You know, there are 74 instrument of good works. And if you try to follow all the first 73, you probably will fail at all of them. We're all failures. We're all miserable failures, aren't we? I mean, really, if you admit it, and that's why you're here on retreat, and that's probably why you're on retreat. We're all, in a sense, ready to, we're all doing penance because we fail so often in trying to be good Christians. So the 73 instruments of good works are all wonderful challenges. You could do an examination of conscience and say, oh, I failed in this one. I failed in that one. But then the number 74 is, and finally, never lose hope in God's mercy. Never lose hope in God's mercy.

[08:30]

Our temptation is to lose hope because we look at our, either we deny how miserably a failure we are failures, or else just to lose hope. And then St. Benedict says, these then are the tools of the spiritual craft. When we have used them without ceasing, well, we have to use them without ceasing because we have a lot of weaknesses to overcome and a lot of lack of understanding of the Lord's love to overcome. When we have used them without ceasing day and night and have returned them on judgment day, Our wages will be the reward the Lord has promised. What the eye has not seen nor the ear heard, God has prepared for those who love him. So coming to know God's mercy, letting God's mercy forgive us and act on us and helping us to show mercy results in eternal reward.

[09:35]

Again, it's the final tool of good works. Since we are likely to fail many times in trying to use the other tools, we must strive unceasingly to trust in God's mercy because we are so weak in trust. At least I am. In and through mercy, we make progress toward eternal reward, better than any earthly blessing. Confidence in God's mercy opens us to the many graces that God wants to give us. as opposed to the two true extremes of number one, as I said, ignoring our sins and weaknesses, or considering ourselves hopeless, both of which are phony escapes. We are all chronic failures. If we look honestly at ourselves, sometimes There are real failures or even sins. Sometimes it is just our own frustrations or our unavoidable limitations.

[10:40]

I mean, Father Andrew and I, Father Andrew is another monk of St. Vincent who came with me. We, well, I guess we probably would have made it somehow. We got lost on the way here. I had directions that were valid 10 years ago. I used to come here. every summer, four times a year. My mother lives in Amsterdam, New York. Maybe some of you know where that is. It's about four hours from here, north to the northeast. And this was a nice stopping place because I couldn't drive 10 hours up to my mother's. So I would stay here and that was very nice. I got to know the monks and to pray with them. And I had directions written down, which were pretty good to come from Route 15. Well, suddenly Route 15 has become Interstate 99. And it didn't follow the same, you know, route it did anymore. So finally. Father Andrew and I decided to get off the road. And I said, I hope we can find the old Route 15 somewhere. Well, it was there. It wasn't called Route 15 anymore. But by God's grace, we found it.

[11:42]

We made the correct turn to Morgan something road. And one of the brothers here taught me the back roads to save time. Anyway, we could have gone off and never made it. We're very frail and vulnerable people. You'll probably have your own litany of chronic failing. I keep trying and failing to get to bed on time. I always have something extra that I must read. It makes me feel good to think, I got this accomplished. And then it goes on five more minutes, five more minutes, five more minutes. Not too much, but you know, why can't I go to bed right after a completion? The novices pray complete at nine. I usually pray with them and then go to my cell. Go to private prayer on time. I'm never late. I'm perpetually early for our Liturgy of the Hours. That's the way my family was. My mother had our kitchen clock five minutes early all the time to make sure we would never be late. My sister and I finally persuaded my mother, Mom, we know it's five minutes early and we're never late.

[12:47]

So she finally got it on time. But, you know, we were all that kind of people. But I don't arrive as early as I'd like to because I find things to fuss about instead of getting to my private prayer, especially the private prayer before divine office, to make progress on my reading material. Oh, I have newsletters from Mount Savior and other monasteries piled up on my desk and my cell and I just never make progress in getting through them. The pile just seems to grow. You probably have your piles of stuff too. I have difficulties eating a number of foods, and I think I'm doing pretty well, and then I see something, and I think it looks good. Oh, that won't bother me. Oh, yes, it does bother me. So I say, well, next time I won't touch it. Well, inevitably, within a few years or a few months, I do. Or criticizing others' behavior internally. Especially when things don't go well during Mass. Certain things just irritate me so much.

[13:48]

I'm saying, Father, have some peace. Just accept this. Focus on the Lord Jesus at Mass. No. Instead, I focus on the things that go wrong. And then I find out I do things wrong. Now and then, anyway, at Mass. I try again and again. And I fail again and again. But there is always God's mercy which moves me and moves you forward and keeps me from growing discouraged. Growing discouraged is focusing on myself and my lamentable weakness. And God doesn't want us to focus on ourselves. He wants us to focus on him. Of course, we're weak. Of course, we fail many times. But if we focus on him, then like the prodigal son, we keep running to him. And notice how many times St. Benedict uses the word run in the rule. Run. run to God, run on the way of salvation. So we need to forget ourselves. Not that we ignore our weaknesses and our needs, but stop focusing on ourselves.

[14:51]

Stop fretting over all our weaknesses. Just turn to God and his mercy. That'll do us far better than focusing on our weaknesses and lamenting over them. Often people cannot forgive others or themselves for sins or failures or mistakes. And perhaps that begins with parents. Sometimes people have parents who lack mercy. Well, we all had imperfect parents. And if there was a big lack of mercy, then we may have lifelong dysfunctions. By grace alone, And alas, many people perhaps do not know of God and his grace. By grace alone, can we be forgiven? And by grace alone, can we show mercy and forgiveness? But that grace is always there. It is abundance. It's a great freedom to receive God's grace. We don't have to do it all on our own. God gives us every possible grace to overcome our sinful patterns, maybe very gradually, to keep growing and not to be discouraged.

[16:00]

I think he doesn't usually give miracles to help us overcome all our weakness at once, because this gives us a chance to relish God's grace. He gives it to us in little bits, bite-sized pieces of mercy. Every time we go to confession, every time we repent of our sins so that we can savor, relish the mercy with which he treats us, savor his infinite love and get to know it better and get to know him better and better. We never know him well enough. Psalm 103, from which I read just a few minutes ago, tells us that God's mercy is beyond human understanding. You know, You can't understand how he can be so good. You can't understand how he can forgive you. Well, you don't have to understand it. Just accept it. Accept it without full understanding. Why should we limit mercy to what we can understand? God is God and we're not God. That's part of humility.

[17:03]

He wants us to be like him. He wants us to enter into communion with him, but he's always going to be beyond us. So accept his wonderful gift. He wants us to receive his mercy. We should be grateful. every day that God's mercy and even human mercy, which we often experience, is beyond our grasp. The mystery tells us that we can learn more and more about it and practice it better and better. You know, if we thought we had it all, there would be nowhere left to go. So not understanding it completely gives us, should be a reason for joy. The verses from the holy rule in chapter four tell us to use the tools of the spiritual craft without ceasing. Why? Number one, our sins are deeply ingrained and it takes a long time to overcome those bad habits. If you're like me, you probably have sinful patterns, bad habits that you had when you were children and they persist.

[18:09]

It can be very discouraging. I'm still doing this. You know, when I was a child, I used to do that, and I still have these tendencies. Some people always like to do something new. I never did. I was very unhappy about going to kindergarten. Maybe a lot of children are. I was so secure and relatively happy at home. I didn't want to try it. Actually, when I started kindergarten, I liked it very much. But the summer before I went, and I was usually very shy, I would stop everybody on the street. My mother told me I did this. I'm going to hate kindergarten. I would have to go to kindergarten in September, and I'm just going to hate it. But once I started, it really was nice. But I still have this tendency not to want to try something new and different. Some people relish that. I usually don't. We don't trust in God's mercy enough and God needs to teach us to trust more. We may easily give up when we don't see our situation or other situations changing right away.

[19:13]

That's all right. Be patient with others. Be patient with yourselves. That's part of mercy. We need to work on the tools relentlessly to realize that we are sustained by grace and that all of our life should be a response to grace and thus help us to prepare for eternal reward. The catechism of the Catholic Church defines faith in various ways, but the simplest definition towards the beginning of the catechism itself is faith is man's response to God. very simple man's, our human response to God. You know, God is constantly giving us himself, giving us graces, which graces are really giving us himself. And when we say yes, it's giving ourself back to him. Of course, not just in words and intentions, but also in deeds of love, the tools of chapter four in the rule, our means of opening ourselves,

[20:17]

to a deeper relationship with Christ. They are not just items for a checkoff list. They are different guidelines to help us to gain a deeper relationship with God. What are some practical ways in which we can grow in trusting in God's mercy, having more and more confidence in him? And by the way, I last, uh, Was it last week? No, October 1st. And that was last Saturday. We celebrated the feast of St. Therese of Lisieux. She's a wonderful example of trust and confidence and humility, trusting in God's mercy. She was the patron of people who are small. And we're all small. We're all little. We're all children, but we need to become childlike. So she learned in her weaknesses more than her inner strength, which wasn't very great, to trust in God's mercy. And she became great by hanging on to God and trusting in him, even when everything was dark and she was suffering from tuberculosis in the last year and a half of her life.

[21:27]

Anyway, we can ask for her intercession. When we experience the feeling of losing hope, sometimes connected with a physical or psychological or emotional problem, we might feel like thinking, there's nothing good here. There's nothing good in me. And the disciples felt that at the multiplication of lows, remember the big crowds of 4,000 or 5,000. And the disciples said to our Lord, Oh, there's, this is a deserted place, you know, send the people home. There's not enough food. And Jesus says, wait, sit down. I'll do something for you. So we sometimes tend to sink into that despairing, maybe not totally despairing, but a discouraged attitude. We need to nip those in the bud. Those are like the evil thoughts that St. Benedict says we should dash against Christ. St. Benedict says that twice in the rule.

[22:30]

Dash your evil thoughts or unhealthy thoughts or unhealthy feelings. Dash them against Christ. Turn to our Lord. Don't linger in them. They just get you into trouble. They take you away from God. Here, there is a destructive thought or feeling. Do not linger in it. Do not give the thought or feeling or the devil power over you because it will control you. It will become your Lord if you let it. Another very helpful exercise is to remember God's mercies from the past. In scripture, of course, and scripture is full of it and in your personal life, Yet right now I'm doing my Lectio Divina. on the book of Deuteronomy. Some parts are very interesting and other parts are not so interesting, but the Lord keeps telling the people through Moses, remember how I brought you out of Egypt. Remember how I led you through the Red Sea.

[23:31]

Remember how I fed you with manna in the desert. Remember how I gave you water from the rock, but mostly how I brought you out of Egypt, how I brought you out of slavery. Now, how many times has the Lord brought us? out of trouble, whatever kind of trouble it was. If we're Catholics and we go to confession regularly, which is a wonderful thing to do if we are Catholic, and how many times has he forgiven us our sins? He's always ready to take us back. I mean, the church has a wonderful resource there in the sacrament of reconciliation. one beautiful Psalm to meditate on in terms of this is Psalm 77, which is an utterance of a Psalm of someone who is beginning to lose hope because things are not going well. And then after, after some expression of, questioning God. Allowed to God, I cry. Allowed to God to hear me.

[24:32]

On the day of my distress, I seek the Lord. By night, my hands are stretched out without flagging. My soul refuses comfort. When I remember God, I moan. You'd think he'd be happy. When I ponder, my spirit grows faint. Will the Lord reject us forever and nevermore be favorable? What's God doing with me? Everything is going wrong. Then finally, He finds some resolution, of course, and he didn't even know about the passion, death and resurrection of Christ, which is the source of our hope. He's tempted to say, this is my sorrow that the right hand of the most high has changed. Then he says, I remember the deeds of the Lord. Yes, I remember your wonders of old and I meditate on your works, your exploits, I ponder. So remembering God's wonders and his mercies of the past helps this psalmist to find hope for the future.

[25:34]

He doesn't say it explicitly, but he's, but he's probably intending to say, look, you did such wonderful things for us. Oh Lord, you're still wonderful. You're still loving. I can't see the wonders that you're doing for me now, but you are here and I need to trust in you. This second part of the psalm is a meditation on the wonders of the Exodus, so easily forgotten by the Israelites. Again, in the book of Deuteronomy, Moses keeps saying this, and sometimes I say, Lord, I'm getting tired of this, but I need it. I need to be reminded a hundred times, just as the Israelites needed to be reminded, Lord, you have done wonders for me and you're still doing wonders for me. Let me never, never lose hope in you. When we remember God's mercy of the past, we unmask the illusion about our supposed hopelessness and the apparent godlessness of life. Those are illusions. The devil wants us to think that, uh, life is hopeless or boring or godless.

[26:41]

Even if we trust we can get into that mode of thought, especially when we look at the world, you know, the terrorism and the political situation, I think most people are not happy with. either presidential candidate, I'm not going to get into that. But, you know, it just looks like a pretty miserable situation all around. And yet God is working through this. You know, the more the misery, the more mercy there is. Remember the word misery is a part of misericordia, and God has misericordia on us. He has compassion. He has pity on us. The more miserable we are, the more opportunity we have to call on his mercy and his mercy is lavish and overflowing always and everywhere. Let us close in prayer. God of mercy and love, though we may often tend to lose hope and to blame ourselves for chronic disorders and to judge others for their repeated sins, we turn to you,

[27:49]

Teach us to rely more and more, not on our judgments, but on your mercy. Give us hope and trust in you, whatever the circumstances may be, and help us to convey this hope and confidence to others, especially those who are stuck in misery and darkness. We ask this through Christ our Lord. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. All merciful God, our Father, when we confess our sins to you, you welcome us back to yourself and to your church with open arms. Grant us a growing desire to know our sins, to confess our sins, and to welcome your grace to overcome our many sinful inclinations. We ask this through Christ our Lord. Mary seat of wisdom, St.

[28:52]

Benedict in the name of the father and of the son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. Before we get into our, the conference that, that I have prepared here, I've been asked because the publicity mentioned that I would talk about the role of an oblate. Well, hopefully this will come through maybe indirectly through everything I say, because I'm talking about the rule and scripture. So I may not be directly addressing that. But let me just tell you from my experience as an oblate director, as a Just a summary, what I think is an expectation from an oblate of St. Benedict. The word oblate means offering. oblation means offering. An oblate is one who offers himself or herself to God according to the rule of St. Benedict. That's an oblate. There are other oblates, oblates of Mary Immaculate.

[29:53]

That's, that's a natural religious order. Likewise, oblates of St. Francis de Sales. So the word oblate is used in other contexts, usually a religious context. So an oblate of St. Benedict is a Christian, has to be a Christian in my context, we accept non-Catholics at St. Vincent Archabbey, but who offers himself or herself to God to follow whatever Christ asks us to do with the help of the rule of St. Benedict and the wisdom. But practically speaking, what does an oblate do? Everyone is different. There are over 900 oblates and oblate novices affiliated with St. Vincent Archabbey, and everyone is different. And I cannot give a rule of life for every single one. But, number one, how can you be an oblate without reading the rule regularly? So a little bit every day, if possible, if you can't say at least once a week, read it and reflect on it.

[30:54]

You know, what, how does this apply to me? There's a program of reading the whole thing three times a year. You may have gotten a booklet, a little leaflet that tells you which part to read on every day. We do it at supper in the monastery, but some of you may be too busy to do that. I don't know, but you should read the rule regularly with some kind of regularity. You should do Lectio Divina on the Bible. Read the scriptures regularly according to some pattern. Really meditate on it. If you can do it every day, that's the ideal. At least 10 or 15 minutes. If you're a busy person with a family and full-time job and can't do it every day, well, try to do it at least once a week or a few times a week. Thirdly, praying the Liturgy of the Hours. That is such a fundamental part of the rule. St. Benedict puts it almost on the level of discipleship with Christ. Let them prefer nothing to the work of God. Well, the work of God can be interpreted as doing whatever God asks us, but it most specifically refers to the Opus Dei work of God, the liturgy of the hours.

[32:04]

So again, I can't tell each one of you pray, you know, seven hours of the office every day. Maybe if you're retired and have lots of time you can, but you know, pray as much of it as you can. If you can do morning prayer and or evening prayer every day, wonderful. Don't waste time doing other things that don't bring you closer to the Lord. But if you're very busy and have other commitments, well, maybe you can pray the liturgy, the hours, just a couple times a week. Do what you can. And then whatever flows from that. You listen to the word of God always and everywhere. Listen to the word of God in the scriptures. Listen to the word of God in the rule. Listen to the word of God when you pray the liturgy of the hours. Not that you can follow every single phrase of the liturgy of the hours because it goes by quickly. But I was reading this wonderful book and I I can't remember the name. I wish I did remember. It could be in the gift shop here, but it's by Father Raymond Studzinski, OSB, and it's Let's See, Reading for Life.

[33:11]

That's the title of the book, Reading for Life. It's a bit intellectual and heavy in some places, but one of the things it says, when we pray the liturgy, the hours, and if you're like me, and I think most people are like this, the words of the Psalms and the scriptures and the hymns, they go by pretty quickly, and we lose a lot, and we're distracted. all of us. We're human. We're distracted. Thanks be to God. Wouldn't it be wonderful to be in heaven when we can sing these hymns of praise and everything without being distracted. We'll be totally focused on the Lord. But here on earth, we have many concerns. sometimes it's not even sinful, but we're just, we're a distracted people. We're weak, we're vulnerable, we're miserable in every possible way. So these concerns weigh us down when we're praying the Liturgy of the Hours. And somehow, sometimes we can incorporate them into our praying of the Liturgy of the Hours. Say, Lord, I'm giving them to you even as I'm praying. My point was, and this point is made very effectively in this book, Reading for Life, which is about Lectio Divina, that even when we're very distracted, that if we intend to pray the Liturgy of the Hours,

[34:22]

the words of scripture become part of us. We repeat these words, we may memorize them, which is a good practice sometimes, but by intending to pray well, even if we think we're not praying well because our minds are scattered and our emotions are scattered. They become part of us and we become more and more a living word of God. This is what the early monks taught. So do the best you can. Don't get discouraged. Don't lose hope in God's mercy. We talked about that in the last conference. So when you pray the liturgy, the hours, When you do Lectio Divina, the Word of God sort of permeates your body, mind, and soul, and God will transform you in ways that you cannot imagine in the course of daily life. So anyway, that's a brief overview of what I think is the duty of an oblique. How you live it out depends what your circumstances in life are, whether you're you know, single or married, whether you have children or not, whether you work or are retired, what kind of job you have, you know.

[35:25]

Apply the rule. Apply, of course, the word of God. Apply your Christian faith intensively in every situation of your life. I mean, that's quite a project. And as oblates, you do it. Oh, and the final thing, which I didn't mention, of course, you are oblates, I'm guessing, all affiliated with Mount Savior Monastery. So you are bound in a special way to the monks of this community. Pray for them every day. They are praying for you probably. Pray for them and do what you can to be present here. Some of you may live far away and can't come here often, but do what you can. to be a support to this community. It might be financially, it might be through prayer, it might be through presence, it might be through volunteer work. I don't know. Each one of you is different. So do what you can to bind yourself in Christ to the monks of this community, to pray for them and to learn from them in whatever way you can. So I think that's it.

[36:27]

That's a brief summary of my understanding of what, uh, is the role of an oblique of a particular monastic community. I'm going to talk about the word confession, confession of sins, but you know, the word confession has at least two distinct meanings. It has the meaning, which we usually forget, at least we often forget of confession of faith. We confess our faith. We profess our faith, but confession can mean that as well as the admission of sins. Uh, the church doesn't use this term so much, but remember there was a term called confessor. Certain saints were called confessors. They proclaim the faith without being martyred. They might call them white martyrs. They proclaimed the faith boldly, but they didn't die for the faith. So they were called confessors. I guess St. Benedict would be considered a confessor.

[37:30]

It doesn't mean they were a priest confessing sin. St. Benedict was undoubtedly not a priest, but he was a confessor in terms of living his faith and proclaiming it to others. The Latin word confidior in my Latin dictionary says, I confess. I acknowledge, I reveal. So it has all those shades of meaning. I'd like to read a passage from the third chapter of the book of the prophet Daniel. And if you pray the liturgy of the hours, you undoubtedly hear this every Sunday as the, as the canticle on Sunday, the canticle of Daniel. in four different parts for the four weeks of the Liturgy of the Hours. Towards the end, the Canticle says, Spirits and souls of the just, bless the Lord. Praise and exalt him above all forever. Holy men of humble heart, bless the Lord.

[38:30]

Praise and exalt him above all forever. Hananiah, Azariah, Mishael, bless the Lord. praise and exalt him above all forever. For he has delivered us from the netherworld and saved us from the power of death. He has freed us from the raging flame and delivered us from the fire. Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, for His mercy endures forever. Bless the God of gods, all you who fear the Lord. Praise Him and give Him thanks, because His mercy endures forever. that phrase occurs so often in the scriptures. And in the rite of penance, a lot of people don't know when they come to confession. And it's not absolutely essential, but it's recommended in the liturgy that after the act of contrition, the priest says, give thanks to the Lord, for he is good. And the penitent says, for his mercy or his love. Sometimes it's mercy.

[39:31]

His love endures forever. Go in peace. Your sins are forgiven. Thanks be to God. But that phrase is so often so often occurs in the Old Testament. His mercy endures forever. His mercy endures forever. Psalm 136, every verse has that. You've all prayed Psalm 136. And it's not boring. It should be fun to repeat it, you know, dozens and dozens of times. that God's mercy endures forever. If thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his mercy endures forever. If thanks to the God of gods, for his mercy endures forever. If thanks to the Lord of lords, for his mercy endures forever. Who alone does great wonders, for his mercy endures forever, etc., etc. Isn't it very inefficient? Our modern world would say, why do you have to say it? How many times are 26 verses?

[40:32]

Why not just say it once and get it over with? No. Our relationship with God, relationships, our communion with God is something mysterious. And repetition strengthens relationships. If you are a married person, it's not enough to say to your spouse, I love you, once and then say, well, that's enough. you should say that at least every morning or every day and in some way, uh, to, to keep that relationship beautiful and fresh. And so of course it is true of our relationship with God. That phrase also occurs in second Chronicles chapter seven, when God accepts Solomon's prayer, the people, uh, respond with humble praise for he is good for his mercy endures forever. It occurs in Psalm 106 verse 1, Psalm 118 verse 1, and Psalm 32, especially verse 5.

[41:34]

So there you are. And I'm sure other places too. Those are the ones I happened to find. In chapter 7 of the Holy Rule, the steps or the degrees of humility, Saint Benedict says, The fifth step of humility is that a man does not conceal from his abbot any sinful thoughts entering his hearts or any wrongs committed in secret, but rather confesses them humbly. Concerning this scripture exhorts us, make known your way to the Lord and hope in him. And again, confess to the Lord for he is good, for his mercy endures forever. Again, quote from scripture, we would say give thanks to the Lord, but somehow the word confess, proclaim and give thanks all mean the same thing. So this translation to English says confess. I'm guessing that's what the Latin is.

[42:37]

I don't have the Latin with me. But in any case, confessing once sins. And again, this confession to the abbot is not sacramental confession because abbots like St. Benedict were often not even priests, but it's a matter of revealing one's thoughts to a spiritual director, especially one's evil thoughts and one's good thoughts too. So we might discern what the Lord is saying, but it's an opportunity also because we all do have sinful thoughts, evil thoughts of different kinds. We may be tempted by them and not give into them, or we may give into them. In any case, we rejoice in God's mercy and forgiveness. Confessing sins, whether it's sacramental or not sacramental, is an opportunity to welcome God's grace. Now some people have had bad experiences in the sacrament of penance at different times, perhaps as children, and I have to sympathize with you.

[43:39]

It's still a wonderful thing. We should take advantage of the wonderful opportunity that the church gives us, that God gives us through the church. I always loved the sacrament of reconciliation. When I was a child, I would go to the dark church once a month if I could, no more than once every two months. That's what the sisters taught us in CCD. They would say it's good to go once a month. And I don't think human nature has gotten much better since the 1950s. I don't know if it's gotten worse, but I don't think it's gotten much better on the whole. a once a month, and that's my, what I really like, going once a month. But anyway, I really liked it. Going into the dark church, smelling the vigil candles. Some churches still smell that way, but there's something holy about that smell of vigil candles, you know. I just knew I was in church. I didn't really understand them, but I would, after I prayed my penance, there was still some time,

[44:41]

left, maybe because my parents were going to confession too, and whatever it was, I had extra time just to be with the Lord, to pray the stations. I didn't go around to the stations, but they were in my prayer books, so I prayed some of the stations. And it was just a great experience. I tried hard to go to the parochial vicar, Not that the pastor was bad, but he didn't know English very well. It was a Lithuanian ethnic church and the parochial vicar was just younger and I thought nicer. But even if I had the other priest, that was okay. It worked out. I knew, as the sisters taught me, that my sins were forgiven. The whole experience was a pleasant outing. I wouldn't say I didn't like other things too, but for me it was a place where multiple spiritual needs were met. There is real joy and relief for people coming back to the Sacrament of Reconciliation after a long time.

[45:45]

St. Luke says twice in chapter 15, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one repentant sinner than over 99 righteous people who have no need to repent. Joy in heaven. Just think, God and the angels and saints are rejoicing when a sinner repents, even for small sins, but especially, you know, a big sinner. I've experienced this in confession a number of times. Somebody comes after a long time, The person maybe is afraid because he or she hasn't been. And then it all comes out. And the person sometimes is crying with joy. That's a real blessing. And I remind the person, it's not just you, but the angels and saints and God himself are rejoicing. So we should rejoice. Hopefully there are tears of joy, tears of release, of being freed from the burden of sin. Sin is a burden that keeps us away from the joy of knowing the Lord. However, we weak human beings are often afraid of receiving mercy.

[46:54]

Isn't that strange? But that's part of our paradoxical makeup. We sometimes remain stuck in the same old patterns of sin and maybe don't really try with some degree of hope to get out of those patterns. Sometimes people fear the pain of change. And it's hard. About 16 years ago, I withdrew from caffeine. Now, that was not really a sin, but I was addicted to it. And if I had it one day and I didn't have it the next day, I would have migraine headaches. And I was afraid to withdraw because I was afraid of the pain. And finally, I think the Lord told me one day, Donald, just do it. So it took me two weeks. It was a gradual withdrawal. But it's just symbolic of our withdrawal from bad habits. Our bad habits are things we like. There's part of us that likes them. And withdrawing from them puts us in a new realm. And we're afraid of the pain or whatever else might be involved. Sometimes people fear admitting their sins.

[47:57]

Maybe it harms their self-image. Sometimes people fear establishing new patterns, like going to confession regularly. We're all, as we get older especially, we like old, comfortable patterns, and we don't like to change patterns. I'm like that too. It was a little difficult for me even to decide to go here. Omat, that means disruption of my life. What am I going to eat? When am I going to pray? It's so comfortable in the monastery. I know everything that's going to happen. Weekend mission, I really like going on weekend missions, but to go far away and give a retreat, I don't know. Well, I think the Lord told me, go, go, especially because Father Andrew said he would go too and could share the driving or do the driving. He's been doing all the driving so far. Well, that helped a lot. That was, you know, I think a message from the Lord. But anyway, and then I guess sometimes people fear repetition of a bad experience in the confessional. I think we've all heard of priests who hear us and they say, you've done what?

[48:59]

You know, how terrible. I mean, that's really terrible. A priest needs to restrain his emotions and just have compassion. But priests are human and they react in unhealthy ways sometimes, too. It's terrible. You should never do that. But that should not discourage the poor penitent from seeking God's mercy and maybe avoiding that priest, but going to someone where you really get some compassion. I wouldn't go back to a priest like that. The scriptures and the holy rule tell us to know the joy of repentance and confession of sins. Give thanks, rejoice for his mercy endures forever. It's worth repeating over and over and over again. The occasion of that quote from the third chapter of Daniel is that we have the three young men in the fire thrown in by Nebuchadnezzar. It wasn't because of their sins, it was because of the wickedness of the king. Because they wouldn't worship him, they were faithful to the God of Israel.

[50:05]

Now God wished to rescue them from the fire. And God wishes to rescue us from the punishment we inflict on ourselves through sinful thoughts, words, and deeds. We sometimes choose to separate ourselves from God The remedy is incessant prayer. Again, that's a long hymn of praise. It's too long for any one Sunday, so it's divided up among four Sundays. And by the way, notice these three men were still in the midst of the fire. They sang to God and blessed God while they were in the flame. before God delivered them. They trusted that he loved them, even while going through the flames. I think our lives are like that too. We don't experience God's loving hand and he's there. He's loving us all the time, but we, because temporarily we feel cut off from God or where are you Lord? What have you, why aren't you helping me now?

[51:07]

And a lot of Psalms say that we forget to thank and praise God anyway. We need to thank and praise him anyway, not for his sake, but for our sake. Because he's there and thanking him and praising him opens us to his mercy and his lavish love. So never give up praising and thanking God, even though you don't understand why. That's a real act of faith. And that is our healthy response to God that will bring us deliverance in his time and his way. The section of the rule that I read, the fifth step of humility, says that admitting faults is a freeing act. It invites mercy and new life. Just think of the 12 steps of AA. I've heard of some people comparing the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous with the 12 degrees of humility in the rule, and there was some correspondence. There was actually a book about it, which I read, and then it seemed to disappear.

[52:07]

I wish I had a copy, but I don't. With God, there is always assurance of forgiveness, as long as you have even a little bit of repentance. Always the assurance of new graces, and the graces are for deeper conversion and communion with God. Not necessarily graces to make you happy on earth, but graces to give you genuine and deep joy, which is far better than happiness. I'll probably get into that later on. We know God's mercy from the past. Turning to him for mercy again is a way to return his love. He wants us to run to him like the prodigal son. He wants us to receive more graces, not just for forgiveness, but for strength to overcome temptation in the future, to resist sin in the future, and for our ongoing conversion. This is a large part of what conversatio morum. By the way, our Father Nathan, who was a monk here, gave a beautiful talk on conversatio morum.

[53:11]

And I wish I could repeat the whole thing. But I might briefly mention that, of course, you as oblates who follow the rule do not make solemn promises. You do not take vows. But you do make a promise as individuals to follow the spirituality of the rule, which includes the three vows that the monks make, obedience, conversatio morum, or ongoing conversion. and stability. And I could go on and on about all those three values, but those are three values that are important to meditate on. Of course, they all are interrelated. They all, in a sense, summarize the whole Christian life conversatio. Morum is sometimes called fidelity to monastic life. Well, for you, it's fidelity to oblate life, which is the whole gamut of things. And obedience is really everything, too, because if you listen to the word of God and obey the word of God and everything, well, you're you're a perfect Christian, but who is perfect yet? And instability remaining rooted in Christ always and everywhere, especially when there are difficulties or temptations.

[54:20]

Anyway, what are some practical ways in which we can know God's mercy through confession of sins? Examine your consciences daily. perhaps with an additional review of your whole day, you know, give thanks to God for the graces he gave you to which you did respond. I mean, give yourself some credit. God gives you credit for listening to him and responding well to graces and other graces we didn't respond to well. I mean, I think all of us make a mess of our lives at least a few times every day, if not more. And, you know, bring it to the Lord. at the end of the day, or if you're too sleepy at the end of the day, some other time of day. I like midday better, because I'm just too, I do a brief exam, and at night, we have conflict with the novices, those who want to join them, and there's a very brief opportunity. And if you're Catholic, use the Sacrament of Reconciliation regularly. I can't tell you how regularly.

[55:22]

I like at least once a month. But it's a blessing. It's a gift from God. And then remember God's mercy often. Repeat such prayers, whatever phrase you like. Jesus, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner. That's the Jesus prayer. That's also a valid act of contrition. If you have trouble memorizing an act of contrition, People do seem to have trouble. Maybe they didn't memorize it as a child, but that's one that's listed in the ritual. You can always use your own words of repentance and desire to avoid sin. You can pray your own act of contrition. But if you're caught in the bind and can't remember one, do the Jesus prayer. Jesus, son of the living God, have mercy on me, a sinner. Or repeat whenever You know, you're walking and not thinking of anything special. Repeat a phrase from scripture, but as good as any other is, your mercy endures forever. Your mercy endures forever.

[56:25]

Memorize a psalm. Memorize Psalm 136. That's not the easiest one, but half of it is easy to memorize because every other verse is, your mercy endures forever. Or make up your own litany. If you're on retreat, especially, you can be creative. God saved me from... cancer, for your mercy endures forever. You saved me from a traffic accident, your mercy endures forever. You saved me from this disease or you spared me this difficulty or that difficulty, for your mercy endures forever. Couldn't we list hundreds and hundreds of things, all of us, if we went through our lives or even the last couple of years and how God showed us his mercy, his compassion, whether involved forgiveness of sins or just other unmerited blessings. Also be vigilant against evil thoughts and desires. Dash them against Christ quickly. Saint Benedict mentions that twice in the rule. Prologue, verse 28 and chapter four, verse 50 dash evil thoughts or evil feelings or disordered thoughts and desires.

[57:38]

You get them into your mind. Don't hang on to them. They're not healthy. They poison you. You get rid of them quickly. Otherwise they'll start to take over and the devil comes in and he wants them to take over because that's a victory for him. Reflect on that chapter, the instruments of good works, especially 44 to 48. What 44 to 48? I don't know. It's in my notes here. Live in fear of judgment day. Have a great horror of hell. Yearn for everlasting life with holy desire day by day. Remind yourself that you are going to die. Oh, all these, uh, these instruments concern sins of speech and sins in general. So that's verses 44 to 58. Yeah. Every day with tears and sighs, confess your past sins to God in prayer and change from these evil ways in the future.

[58:43]

Well, I don't want to get into that too much because our time is up. Uh, we shouldn't go over our past sins again and again. But it's good to know that you've been delivered from those sins, all right? So some people have, what do you want to say, disturbed consciences. They still feel guilty for sins of the past. Well, of course, they should try to go get over it, because God has forgiven them. The effects might still be there. but just pray for more healing. We should not go back to them, but we should be grateful that God has forgiven them, no matter how big the sins were from the past. So we should not go over the sins again and again, but we should give thanks and praise to God for all the ways he has delivered us, innumerable ways. Let us pray. Loving Father, we are grateful that your mercy endures forever and ever and persists even when we sin again and again. Without our presuming on your mercy, give us a desire to turn to you quickly when we sin, to use the sacrament of penance often, and to find joy in the ways you help us to run to you for mercy and forgiveness and ever greater resistance to sin so that we might enter into an ever deeper communion with you, which is our present and lasting joy.

[60:07]

We ask you all this through Christ our Lord. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. I plan to be in the conference room from now until, I guess, say 10 minutes before 12, because we have midday prayer at 12, right?

[60:30]

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