2010.07.10-serial.00227

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Serial: 
EB-00227
Description: 

Zen practice is doing what is expected whether you want to or not; learning to be in touch with our wounds.

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Auto-Generated Transcript

did you know it

huh
come this evening i would like to speak about something and
how to do with our bodies and
and anyway i don't know how to summarize it but i will talk about it and then
i'm not sure will be useful for you but maybe to be entertaining
would like him an appetite interest levels than that
the
oakland cemetery family for phone died down
i'm certain things over the years i haven't heard people talk about and i when you know
i started to wonder like
cause this know why don't more people talk about these things
yeah i had it problematic is destined to that unique flavors compliment and traverse resort a little much but it's a thing
so this is related to you know connecting your intelligence your consciousness your awareness with your physical body
this game or women was signed he has an physician carpet for game recap
we've been studying this are just a know a few days together in terms of how to use a knife
how did you check on
how'd you sit meditation we have this for the enemy would have on the horizon either alyssa shower claiming that she can't hold on to earn
have you gave many ten with
and in a simple way zen practice can be described as having your body in a certain place at a certain time doing a certain thing when i got a bicycle to my favorite assigned as an assistant eighteen
and an the animals
an interesting aside from the supervisor and it's sense
whether you feel like it or not
recently
yes
so if meditation is scheduled at six o'clock in the morning here in the meditation or meditating on the models with excellent with have own this time as the move when it doesn't matter whether you want to meditate or don't want a man
potato you like credits and in your don't like meditating you you're happy or sad you bring it all to the meditation hall and sick
the his mouth but finishing a momentous and to defend our first asked only needed a transfer music the him juice if it's time to work in the kitchen and cook just a matter of you feel like it or don't feel i get you like it don't like it you want to you don't want to
two and you go and cook food increasing over something out that's the first half of it as is madness i mustered over the next to the best way to encourage month class
on one hand a know people think oh well then i if i did that i wouldn't be free
when i'm spending the night and running festival and i went to retire
idea of freedom is i get to do what i want was
them for favors
hi i'm a first to investigation but you could also understand when you're doing what you want any you and and you and were given a be compelled to always be doing what you want you have to do what you want you and your ear oh so you're just a slave to doing whatever you want in it
prayer just to save to do what you want you to the satanic the other hand with my last almost as to two matches
like him as an open fire
what about you know willing to do something you don't want
has managed to the
because it's gonna happen there will be moments you don't like and you don't want to be there when you can you do you can not tell which moments to come and be with you in which moments not to
mama magazine or waiting for the nine and to smaller less was not wish to invite are licensed as he comes again com so sometimes moments will come that you don't want and end okay whether i wanted to know i will handle this
muslim and a woman on the one was need to live a life standard fetish so in its way you say send you can be you're more afraid because whatever comes you you'll be able to do something
the violence from the same high esteem account of his chest to says a she say we practice meditation to be ready for anything i can save anything with him on ice the design and you're ready for anything because you practice meditation
no matter how you feel or what you think this provide for was waiting for prices a little things
you get your body into meditational andor cash instead
advertisement posters are you do this in a given the kitchen you know
are you know we gotta work in the morning out in the world

so sometimes people say about sin oh there's too many forms
when she learned is that was an escaped to hear from i don't like forms good management i don't like structure
then i'm not free i know the things each time if you think about it though every moment has form every moment has structure
so they can get our men had found hidden away from poor
you just mean i've been noticing what it is i slept under his classes in sandra make it very obvious it's six o'clock time to meditate
with a satellite phones explore automated unit out in the world
what time is it
what do i didn't know better
after you never know how does was with the way since the sun hits to what's going on here was a of here
so it becomes at in a world out in her life every moment there's form their structure
and how can we be in that he knows part of the formal structure is being a husband or lives like father and mother son of a brother or sister is they're all forms
well
then contact
the smuggle that's an order
can
i didn't fall so says she said real freedom is learning how to wear these campus and japanese robes and feel free
when i nice to work
now have a compensation plan flinched
want to hang up his violence or anything
where these cumbersome robes and not feel burdened
i the
the last thing he notes so taking on day
the forms in your life without feeling in overwhelmed her burdened by them
really fishing and farming family now as the last some tea
as secure as she went said there's a form to every moment even if it's god's sleep
i don't even have so many moments that me
okay services a little bit of a kind of a background
the to the vote
talking about you know how do you know this is again to bring your awareness in your body is to read and it
your body or to reincarnate into your life
compact swimming
his extreme than when i was able to county
so i want to tell you a little bit about why this is so challenging
i started learning bodies and function
and to encourage you anyway to go ahead which may start your mornings a home
find your hands
find your feet from the person and find your hips
and find your heart
as
so i'm gonna tell you know some things that i found out and then
as a way to talk about this i didn't have any idea and say phone performance on a farm number
you are partly this has to do with an you know as we go through life sometimes were able to
they may become more able to observe things at a more subtle level and not just a gross level of reality i here with the amish on getting a man keen okay to have that you what he called the listen this is us the difference as we've been talking about and
the last couple days between how do i present myself to the good and how can i experience in myself and relate to know what's going on inside
permits as more by the territory on how well as a kadish for as the house even the stories are we even getting into anything

oh
i think we've all had and you know to be a human being as to i have been wounded
i'm mentioning his feelings of our house and as suicide
and people describe this in various ways
when she travels in that definitely on
i'm you know but we've all had a laws are grave abandonment trails
what her father's day
france
and sometimes is a way in which an
at the time these things happened
there were so painful and so hopeful we couldn't and psychologically we couldn't stay present
was assaulted solid something in a scene was a little more maintenance has yet
was then time
i will give you an extreme example of this
when i look on his passion and saying it's extreme as so that you get the picture but i think we are in some way have the same thing happened
the famous spanish team have you will be surprises but trust us with an asset
a friend of mine am
oh you know grew up and he was in school president of the class
he was the teacher's pet he did remarkably well in school
find her mean i know such really think about the best to shoot out about anything as hannah's
after college he started studying massage not college after preparing a saturday interested in
after a couple of years of an giving massages and receiving massages sometimes on people
her massaging his legs he would have pictures of ropes and chains
how so
i have let him as he had a level of food management anonymous here too much better than one environments here are common data type of data from kept roots and
sam
somebody said to him why don't you ask your parents if anything happened when you are a little
women's i could seem to matter that ended up with us he deserves to class
hey his parents said oh yeah you know when your little sister was born you heard about two and a half years old
yeah us to
manchester go on a woman and as the time of the arrive
and you know she came home with your mother from the hospital and everybody was you know admiring your beautiful little sister and you just wandered out the front door
hello chelsea
eventually surfaced and or whatever the language has been a harlequin a look at six to they have a wonderful to them on a kindle to ascertain nascar nobody noticed you regarding remember in case the store was one to
and then we couldn't find you with the contradictions him
and your father and we couldn't find you for a two days when decided i had to
your father got a lot of his friends together and they i began to look around the neighborhood wouldn't bet on her cell phone number to be monogamous have a good song
there was a window right down at the level of the street and they looted the window and there you were tied up the hey sir anthony in the air on sale has the name is out in the last two hundred one you are adapted and molested by this man
the last an on to and with hundred model the man
i then you came home
can i have seen a houses and you wouldn't talk with the right thing
and then and he remembers you know not talking and then his parents died
well it's better if we don't talk about what happened it's better if you just forget it and get on with your life
aren't
as another intriguing this spacex mr that's a he listed on tenth avenue leaving for her
jess forget it and get on with your life for i haven't
right
and am so he wasn't talking and after a number of months his mother started beating him because he wasn't talking
damn good lining are highly vulnerable child from been in the town to fly home
and after well he said okay and you realize they were you know i just created a the person i needed to be for did well in school got good grades had lots of friends
i don't know champs elysee at the moment for him she and just relax a man for the leak is an account within the desire to combat

so what happened to the little boy
what's the charlotte

so over the years and you know he's found dead acknowledging his a grief and sorrow and terror and read i'm you know as a man ray owning and massage this is another way you start to feel things in
your body because somebody is touching something in it awakens the pictures
the yeah i got another to abandon town and the finished now cause i was
legacy footage france as and as its
a nice to chance to time
so as is in principle in a where she said it's not really so good to spend your life hiding your difficulty
so to gone through
as cancer completing the and like was leaving with the chickens funneling
this is why you know we say if you practice then you will have some difficulty you have your difficulty
the than windows and two years has to she is carol around as the stream demonstrating gov
and having your difficulty will be a way to re on your body we inhabit yourself reincarnate into your life
i'm sure we have have a nice and visit soon
when i was able to hold in county
so although this history is extreme still there are ways in which each of us have decided at times i will be the person i need to be to make this work in this world with these people and i'm leaving that painful for little boy or girl behind they are not come
along with name
i've been using she explains that neither finance an initiation was the site has kept on it was like her time
for be in china with assassinate someone when has one man the design line
so just a simple way if you said and breathe and allow your breath
allow the in-home allow the exhale
for as i said you letting your body be breathed
i'm i'm not advisable to this madness
ninety one of the him asking ready to this card
he overthrew tip tipster to touch these places inside your body
will start to judge the wounds
i'm having a beginning with i'm forty nine to the room
what flu women
okay so some people then learn how to practice without without touching the wounds and they spend their time
being tough or whatever it is that where they're not gonna touch their wounds because they don't say that is important
happy for him only move one so the real magazine pot fine while
i'm but you know i'm of the opinion and my belief and experiences you can allow the wound to surface and it becomes your gift and your blessing
when it froze to death he had our moments to look for will it hurt the sanding by flesh the crowd
and there was an article designed to save him
are your fear and and becomes your confidence and then a haystack remembered that farmland
your desire becomes diversion
celebration a man then he now
he become from in a roomy has the metaphor of
your soul is like a
he know i'm high of an animal that has been butchered
only that
two of the i wish for
it and it becomes beautiful with the bitter tanning acid free
what one nationally
so to clean the blood and to clean the for the hair to make an indicator for leather it's a lot of work
he is distracted for that's fine with a straight answer
may damage and feet high
so now i want to tell you a couple a specific stories
i wanna tell you about finding my hands
woman anything
as you know i am told you i've spent a lot of time studying like i don't how to move my hands with how to rush things at a cut things how to clean things and how to use both hands
as the english language for the nazis when he should i be on you with the awesome and again as i mentioned before using your hands this is human what makes us humans ways this fun
i'm in our hands
the habits of enough so to the handling the schools and mention that hours and items on mean she won't she had
oh so you can disassemble you can practice you know finding your hands
he credits the my have been noticing what's your hands are doing
midsummer economists on the head to
are gonna do anything perhaps finding something for them to do so many to flashy as just the hand of total care
so after the centenary them
i don't know is proud to live
sometime in the early nineties i started doing therapy i mean i'd done various therapies but i started during therapy with a woman who lived and and the east and east bay from san francisco
the phone
before
christian it i call it therapy i don't know
let's see
i would go to her house for two hours i'd sit down on this a couch in his kind of was all this clutter around the rim and i'd cry
the psyllium house daily as as an internet methods by shown that
to lack of i
i mean i don't know i should say how are your and i just start crying was last me he gave his stand to supply
you have allowed to cry about it seems he earned his keep trying
the advice
after two hours then she would say no to himself and finished over the computer maybe you want to sit in the living room for wow before you go home there's a jigsaw puzzle
like life along busy once in my bathroom
i didn't
casa one time i was there in i looked at my hands and night i said in and these hands they're not even my hands and i started crying i like the fact that started planning to laugh
a of my name's become gets the line
tonight you know this look like my hands
right i'm sharing the and reminding her house
so couple years after that i was doing am i had started doing hands on healing on the piano the benefits handles and the i started you know how to no touching people and then i would go in heavy
sessions in be touched
right it's a high that decision to for will enter onto the camera on struggling for
the first time and the first session i had at this particular i'm
i'm institute
how was with for women
he has distorted the can do
ha ha
and after while i started crying and at one woman had my hip was holding my head when women had and i'm here and when woman had here in one woman had my feet
regarding it's and
i started crying so loudly and screaming to that the police came in that survive that's seventy five her semi in the neighborhood called the police
the police the next to come back to the treatment room where i was the receptionist at the front as convinced the police that it was okay that was his therapy
sign up and somebody sitting there even though it's a sin
this is just another side you know
so later i was regularly barbara jane and i said to my friend by retain for bridging these aren't even my hands
and barbara a new the question to ask
i'm not never change kid
who's are they
yes there in peace and some big persons
am using the hand that wasn't as a woman and she said and where are yours
what was it then i felt around inside this your well therein the outposts
my anything in my level
it's a little body inside of his big body and little body
the hands reached to the elbows wouldn't look out us and canada with this and our shared with him that i can get out of a sudden
said barbara jean said i'd like you to work with me and either practice reaching your little hands out into your big hands are shrinking your big hands down to your little hands what was inside the again with the average american diner
planning will go sit on a horse similar since or less wouldn't have been here was he had shrunk lesson
the boy said i can

add to do this if i may say so you know takes courage
when this a total on this is our life partner
because it seems inside it seems like a few reached out as the little hands into the big hands you are going to get hurt just like you did when you are that size
chef
the carry handle the
was within the absence of nationals to the alex was pronounced me to pay for us to climb fast but you know what now you're grown up and you have a lot more capacity and capabilities and power than when you abandon yourself when you were little i started
fifth call soon as funds on the faith capital city services on what happened to the south and i asked the creditors was as to time
and i want to also say that in our to abandon yourself and your little was the right thing to do it's psychologically what is healing and powerful an important to do
and it's the only way you survive as a small person would like to design a and supplier for the of us for as if she gets thrown is the terms of
the same as a citizen
so barbara jane at one point held my hand
my right hand and she said i want you to make me
whoops and i'm not have or
that was left in a school bus reach out your little hand and meet me
i i fly her swimming
will be taking me
and this is a friend
hussein this anyone still feels like it's the most scary thing you could ever do it's because a what happened
when your armor's that big a new did reach out and you got hurt he had abandoned betrayed
the quarterfinals against the fence was a strong
rather than on
title image for next one
in finally
in our try the am
in know sometimes
the people who do this work
they call it
what did they call it you know i'm relentless compassion
that i would the on and right
that bitch was not gonna let go of my hand and until i met her
the foot
yeah
we have established
get educated
until i extended the presidency was in my elbow add to my finger been hands and he felt her hand you know with the firmness of my awareness
she wasn't an electro my hand
what did you have some as happens
man
and we have i learned we've managed to flu
it's almost a joke in there okay okay i'll teach you as long as you let go of me as soon as i do
in a version of life
so what this is fine layers
you know we have a certain amount of consciousness
it's the is that could be your hand
and in a real freedom is to have the consciousness that could be your hand in your hand not in your elbow not in your shoulder not in your wrist but the intelligence that could be your hand extends down into your hand and then
your hand is connected and your to your intelligence which is your mind and your heart and your hand can do what it does with the fullness of your awareness
he has to be hanging house well site
for the movie has been from and solar muslim
i left me

and at that time we don't know what in our hand will do
that's what of the site was announced on
your hand will find things to do that you never thought of before
hundred has supported the we need to format for data
in people are you know incredible i've stayed you know a little bit of the movies and of sensei the man who started at cato
michelle him what's wrong
or the man who started a kiddo and they call him o sensei in a great teacher
when i kinda for for well
and a new movies and people are running at him to attack him and they just fall on the floor
i am also my phone to the world's plan and when you see it in the movies
you think it must be staged and rest of your little things is to
five
and but you know my friend acosta hershey who his desk calligraphy and translates dogan
he studied with her senses a little boy
well why there anymore
yeah act
easter war
and that was somebody who were so in touch
you know with his body so intention with his body with the you know the field the room if somebody made a move he felt it and he just
needed to turn so slightly and they just be going past
and he just there is so easy for him because he was so much a practice instead it how to have his intelligence alive and awake throughout his body
suzanne
you know if i'm
he plans to build a the house will encounter with a hashtag the them and we have an institution than having completed the legal
this was there for the music
and so am i want to say just a little bit more about this in terms of your heart
what has that
i will go ahead this

and because i'm much of the time the a consciousness awareness that could be the country's to where's of your heart is not actually in your heart
what else can sign the sample was saying was kind of houses eleven houses
just as the coast that could be your hand may be in the elbow isn't in the risk
one thousand seven hundred and eleven
when i can
most commonly the case as that could be the heart is behind the heart
after thesaurus is present for the have and we believe that we have to make

and it feels sometimes like the last thing you would one idea is to have here in consciousness
you stay in your heart
because again he remember how pain your heart was
when you were so small
it was tennis tournament the mind the time of was sad to let me have for the quality of another famous with enhance his master
but actually you know that's the past
and today you can move your consciousness and your heart
i'm gonna see an harder to and was faster than half really and it turns out it said to relieve that you don't have to keep her in your heart away from your heart
he was chance so on channels on last time i had a half looking at a shooting
another time i did a session like that with barbara jane
and it was known in a row tickets some people call it white suit
i know professionally prepared in the month at about
was
lots service
and in she's floating around in the wider this way in that land floating around spoken around and it haven't became really obvious after a while
she is not going to let me out of this water until i moved the consciousness of my heart into my heart
definition must myself on this photo rhetoric as was
the with
it's percent veterans have swollen
so when in doubt and you can pay the sadness the despair whatever it is you can breathe breathing
and you heard and that had come to your heart
christ would have had with us via phone and i have an item
have
again
our in sitting
swansea he said if you want your head in the right place your heart needs to be the right place
if you want your heart in the right place where hips need to be the right place
on basic that the channels or will handle matters for some confirmation classes was unhealthy
hasn't
when you i'm studying know where your hips are stable it's also where your hips are at ease the more stable your hips are and more days they have
for the as a possible
he posts her struggling to the voice to step in and they'd have to to see him last now
and then you can study
you can go a nobody body can grow tall inside
and that energy from your hips
we're leaning forward and back a little bit and where is that fit your heart is
on the events and question about to the last would likely family
want to have hoped for is does have some seem already to the it
hell there's a place where
your consciousness is in can be in your heart were heart is by your hips
less impact for then there was some houses with i has to register
and then your head flows
revenge bay fan club
recently i i was in her frankfurt i didn't man own chicken with a man named gerhardt
what's the mexicans are rotten apple super
yeah
how dare hurt and me in a practices are carpentry
what is the culture
as well as chicken
and he told me the original meaning of in don't care but she's also in germany care means sword or spear spirit as favors for was on the scale from fair price on sundays energy destruction japanese
so i said oh you've turned your spear into nato's see
that i'm a composer
anyway he said than the chicken he does
your lead in your mind be open an empty clear
i'm is it
when she go yesterday of a son often
laughing
and then your heart is flowing with feelings
and i have
i want to true
and in your lower body storing energy
what
the

so you know if it's your hands it's your heart it's your bread can the intelligence or awareness that could be your breath is it in your breath is it is is it with your breath was it simply says is it a little bit before your breath is a little bit be after the
breath can you awareness be exactly with the breath
where's the fun
with him rotten rather see further
i'm been an answer
and in cookie nature paper taste what you put in your mouth
i'm currently back to while schmidt was another launch date
it takes a kind of focus symptoms in your mouth and then you
focus your awareness your intelligence your consciousness
in your mouth what are you tasting what is it
he was kind enough as replace them i wouldn't like to also has to slacken with low is
so when you bring the consciousness that can be taste into i'm tasting
opens your experience
then for the training and lincoln's mad system hooks on downtown when you bring the consciousness that could be your hands into your hands
how no words
what a was site
the horse i was a and afternoon
to your breath do you feel when you're walking
i am to surrender interface
so this phone is that your cash is being in what the experience is and it's so rich and free
an incredible
it was that luck
visiting his parents own the struggles time
high profile
but you know this is rich and free an incredible night end in are like
television and movies
but it's inner the dabs and intimacy of your life comes glad
first for the planet
the summer
two papers
okay thank you thank you for being here this weekend
a shade your patients good heartedness