Given on Saturday, October 24, 2009
About this talk
Chasing after our mental images of things; images of perfection and how reality intervenes; Richard Baker and the events of 1983; David Chadwick at Tassajara, and preserving Suzuki Roshi's legacy.
So I think Good morning I like to. Take a few minutes treeview some of the things that I've been talking about that we've been. Bringing up. Starting with you know the idea of being in the dark and not knowing what to do and. What you're up to. And how to get to where you think you want to go. There is a line of course in Rumi where he says don't go where you think you want to go ask the way to the screening. Is. It's similar to me if you miss the garden because you want to straight think from a random tree let yourself be. What you really want so we have various pictures you know we get we get pictures. That are very appealing to our spirit and very attractive and being gauging. It's sometimes hard to see that we have a picture and then. You know we think that happiness. Is to make our picture come true whether it's you know that we have a Strasser we have a different kind of meal or you know better food or. You know would nation ship we have a picture of. What to aim for where to go and then we start thinking how do I get that. Service is the usual way of. Proceeding and. It's sometimes described as if you're a sheep described. You know as you know the difference between ordinary and special and use is what's called ordinary. Anyway the words you know end up. Being. You know playing with the words but. Security said What's ordinary is that people seek for something special. And then put a lot of effort into getting it special So usually that means you have a picture of what would be special and you know whether you know people purchase things and you know if I can get in life that would be special in light moment I could have but that would be really special great and then you have a picture. Of the mine. We know what that would look like. And it's true with certainly with meals you know the idea of you should have a picture of the meal that would be good and make it come true. And have a picture of the relationship and make it come true. And so this is to say what's ordinary is that we are captivated by our pictures. We are mental images pictures and we want to chase after them. Specials so special. And we sincerely believe yes you could attain these things. And then people we seem to be able to retain these things well we you know give them a lot of money an education. I chuckle because you know I've been reading shirts that said to do or. What happened it's incendiary. It's so called Apocalypse was and made three. By the end of Richard Baker where she resigned as the abbot of this incident. Programs but in the meantime he'd been. You know very successful at creating pictures spirit get it to chase after. And he also. Robert Bly just said about that he said you know we all have an immature picture of protection. In our mind what would be perfect what would be and this is like says a Christian saying we have you know we have pictures or what would be special. Robert Bly called an image of protection we have an image of perfection and you know when you're little you you have the image of protection your mom and dad are perfect. I trust you mean if you do you meant to and I just serve it the problem you know you're perfect. So this is what we do is children. And then as you grow up of course the image of perfection won't stay there. And you have to find some other place to put your image of perfection and. You know so some people put it you know Robert Bly said Well nature's a good place but in our nature. I mean that of course some people you know if you're if you're careful you can put it on the Divine. Or beyond or something and Iran and the lightening. But Robert Bly said Dick put it on himself and then yet everyone else put it there too. So if you're perfect like that and you just don't notice the words that you're not perfect and you just don't know it it's so. People who are good at that kind of thing a thing or they can be really good at it very skillful. And then we think wow that's great piece so great that I'm not. Right I have something to aim for because I can see that he does this and maybe someday I'd be able to do that too. I mean he said you know and he would say things like that. So teach me just a little bit of. It would say you know maybe someday sense and it will treat you like this too. So if you'd like to be a matchbook just do what I tell you and eventually you know maybe to work out. But it can't work out for everybody because everybody can be I mean. In the same way. Everybody can't be the head of the simply like anyway coming back to you so what's ordinary is to get captivated by a picture of what would be what is special or what it's you know it's unique. What is perfect to be captivated by that and then to see if you can make it come true. And then we try to make it come true literally as opposed to if you have the I mean Chip perfection in the right place then it's. If you don't. Mind it so you know again mind you so it's not. Doesn't it's not born does not die it's not change it is not pure does not increase to decrease. Mind mind is not a thing so things appear and disappear some are good some are bad some are painful some are pleasant seeings phenomena appear and disappear and they're problematic and you're not going to be able to make them repaired. But we chase after things so that's what's ordinary and what's special security so. What's truly special is when you when someone settles down in the ordinary. It actually lives there. And that's the picture subspecialty. Or somehow you know finds what is special in the ordinary and what is appearing moment after moment as opposed to having an image of it being summer. So. You know. We've talked in various ways and I want to add one more but you know mindfulness being for instance. Buddhist in many ways Buddhist concept about love. Being aware without judging couldn't. Reach out and giving out to rectitude it's exciting changing here let me help you with that I mean. Make it better for you. Thing wrong with it's you know in its place but it is the singular mode. Of going about life and it. Becomes problematic. Because you can never fix it change it improve it and. So. It's great it's like you know Western medicine what Western medicine is good at. You know and this is you know probably a much longer discussion and I'm willing to take today but. You know Western medicine is really good fixing. Grace who lives here a spec you can go chapter year you know it's in the head on X. In early go and get bridge. And she's still lucky because a Western medicine. Puncture wouldn't help her but. You know Western medicine knows how to stop the bleeding. Get things back together repair the wounds. Put the bronze die together get the Domino organs back out of the chest cavity and back into the abdomen which you know all that needed to be done. And so she would say because so this is to diagnose the situation see what what the problem is and fix it. So there's a place for that and it works. But can you do this with your psyche can you say I'm sad what needs to be fixed or. Just. So you want to have you know various modes going and what needs to be served be in the dark a good study what needs to get. What needs to happen here what would what's really going to help and so that suggestion there is. Rather than trying to diagnose Janet by the problem fix it change it to go in the direction of what special. It's. More in a simple way out of just be with things. Allowing for them to be the way they are. And not continually trying to make them better. So this is mindfulness and. And then you might decide at you've been you know carefully mindful that OK here's what I'd like to suggest we do support. But another example of this for instance is says a christian other Buddhist teachers to. Says if you're actually at one point suggested in various ways because your breath service is not just following your breath. Have a soft warm feeling for your breath a kind feeling a welcome feeling. For your breath as you follow your breath and this is much more the feeling of. You know when you're a parent senior. Being your young child sleeping in they're still in jelly and they wake up and they start doing things and you start saying no no no no no. So this have a kind one feeling you know at some point it became clear that where they had been seeking and chasing after this special What is special. And it's actually chasing after picture. What would bring you what would bring you happiness what would bring you satisfaction. What would bring you approval of changing respect. You start practicing. What's special is to settle down in the ordinary and you know. And have. It reveal itself to you and to be kind to me it was a worry. And it intimidates like being kind of. Feeling soft feeling rather. You don't have in order to get something done Nixon had been. Saying place it. So. Gentle. Now we do dat you know take care of its handle that and you have to be on top of it and we don't ask our policemen to be. We ask them primarily to take charge we. Ask them to be chained to a car and. Get shot so there's that sometimes superior challenging some of the positions that we asked people to. Still there's no so this has to do it there's. There's various possible mental constructs or states or ways of going about things and. You know there's certainly a time. You know we asked for instance police. Reaction to be professional professional beings. To take care of a situation you do not. You know get. Scared. And run away. Or you confront danger. You're not going to go to fear worry or doubt. You know consciously to where you are immobilized keep going to handle the situation in and just be professional so there are certainly places in your life which it's. Called upon to be professional. If you go into the court room. And you're in front of a judge in a jury or what have you you can be professional and you if you become impassioned you know you you want to be a little careful that you're impassioned. In keeping with people since ability or just misuse being. Too emotional or something. So you study how to deduce how to appear in different situations and what's called for in situations and what we forget is that there's actually various modes of being. And that we could use to call to move news not just one mode of being. For every situation and I would guess you know and for some people it's probably comfortable. You know apparently you know a policeman when they get caught I don't become soft and tender and you know they're going to professional that situation. Because this sensibility there are different modes of being in that you could you could manage history of self and road again it's appropriate for that circumstance. And you've. Recognized it and it's not encouraged to study. So there's a picture of how you know we expect ourselves and others to be in a culture which is. You know you you fight cancer you overcome it. You know you weather the storms through June and you don't you don't get emotional you don't get moody you don't cry you don't get scared. You don't whine you don't complain to the one you know if you gauge you feeling eighteen no one's going to like somebody who's me so we have all these pictures or. Person supposed to be and then you try to make this picture come true and it's actually useful in certain situations you know that's helps make sense but if that's what you're doing your whole life and it's the most you know it makes sense. And and then. You know it's for me it's turning to what's important is that I began to know. Searching no other develop other ways of being in the dark feeling my way along knowing what to do quite knowing me to be in this situation studying like what would make sense here to make sense there what's the context and secure she said. You know as you're developing you know be right at thinking about it. So now I'm reminded now of when we. Eat in this endo you know we have we serve each other's. One group of people going around to meditation serving food. We have marbles and we. You hold your bowl proved to be served and you know when we serve anybody to serve Suzuki Roshi we were you could see so careful and if people you know. I know for myself and you can see you know get people to get impatient can't you get your bowl out here why are you going so picky do you want more there's not enough for more and you can't see any of it it's all this stuff going on. And we says if your shoes just like you could bowl was right there it was in an area but the pole is rated P.G. with the food in it. And it's good and it is so simple and there's and there's some things in the air and one of these symmetries that woman you know I've been working in the kitchen with as Jim says it cures you what do you feel when. I serve you food or do you feel and you state I feel you offering me your most perfect. Recall been giving or you know we were moved to do it he touched us and the way that he touched this was not. Being masterful right you know he was and he wasn't. You know he wasn't telling people what to do and what not to do he did. It nobody really believed and practiced. Right you know he said when we started the prospectus period. And we did it for. Some people got there in April and I got there on being in May and. And April being made and then the pensions preacher in July so we had the first ever chunk area where you stayed all day pretty three days. So the night before the first hunger you know a third of the people went up the road. And then later he said you know I'd like to be more strict if you do but if I am through. I don't want you're going up the road. But this is interesting. You know sometimes something goes touches and then you know we're. A relationship. And we stary you know to being a circumstances and I know for myself you know at some point I thought well why is there something special about Suzuki Roshi it's really different and people say he deserves to be treated differently than I would people deserve to be treated and I couldn't find it. That you know what I am I just treat everybody. Fairly and with food carefully. I'd rather keep respect distributors. And it's only you know that was in one thousand nine hundred eighty seven the same seven July and August I brother was there for the brother David was there for the month of July. Still comes back up in the summers to do. Several years with Paul. And. I didn't know until just the last few years my brother particularly said you know I left I'm sorry because David Chadwick was. Going to so I was in as much as a shit. And this is so ironic because David is not known for his discipline. But somehow that summer he was running around telling people what. He. Saw and he would just see it as a Christian he said I don't like. Your telling me I should do it so I was in my better state and sometimes it's a little bit church just sit and watch the creek. And. Superior she said to him please turn. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about what David said. It's all right I want you to be here I want you to stay. It's theory important to me. And he said security OK I said I want you to stay here and my brother. Still here like staying it was so upset. Being criticised for his bad. Behavior So now it's a Catholic. But says if your issues were it was in a subtle. Archly. I'll tell you two stories but this. One I just heard recently. I mean I'm a Buddhist in May We were secure she week and it was the fiftieth anniversary of his coming to America and if you're picking on and said it's and told the story he was a good student. Gets sixty nine or seventy and. There's a test. And there was no the unmanned there. And they got to talking and decided they wanted to smoke some marijuana. From it that well we can't do that here it's against their rules we need to walk away you know walk somewhere away from. Get high. So they I get stream away. And. It's what we get back in time to day oppa we need more now we need to get back if we can for a bath and service five fifty. Seven they started back and it turned out they were late and it didn't have started here in the bill for service and we didn't really have time to take a bath and so it just went right to send. This is the old Zen go which is where the student in a room is now. And in that old Center there were. People standing about this for a party in the aisle there. Facing each other and says if you're sure we walk down the road people you know the new standard the preachers can see and just walk past everybody just comes right up to the altar. So this is where he would walk down the solo people and then up to the altered the far into the room. And so Ted said that he had said as in sympathy and it's a very good student we're standing there at the end of the road they've gotten in there were so pleased with themselves for having gotten their time and. And. I don't know exactly what. You know it's a secure she noticed I think it's a little bit like you know kids smoking in this moment. It's like well you may not smell it on your breath but other people can. But he said he was standing there and says if you're if you know he's five foot tall. But nobody. Beat small. And he got to about here and you see chants and it was almost imperceptible and this intense wave of anger. And here was kind. I'm not doing that again. But where my favorite stories about security is you know actually regarding David CHADWICK You see because. David was notorious and spot in effect he was criticized my brother Forrest stated was Jerry's for. You know. He was sixteen we could carry it and then he would he would be serving food again and then he'd sit down with the guests and drink wine with them and as the he went on he might do a few dishes with the rest of the crew but some point he'd go back to their cabins and be drinking brandy and Scotch and Dave's things I mean to night and you know get to bed rather late. And then he was not getting up the next day you know with the Wake up bell. He would miss meditation. Service breakfast and if there was a study period its employment there's a meeting of the heads of. Work leaders in a security shift your breakfast. Suitors of the temple meet with because she'd have to be up for that. And sometimes probably you could smell alcohol his grip even a bad point. And so he was at the meeting one morning and sicker she would there's tea and it's all very formal and then a little cookie or something up in times and say you after it's all served and then you security. Cookie and you lead the church out first of sickish you might say well. You know we're expecting some sort of visit today or something and it's important change anything you want to talk about and the director. Of the monastery said. Security what do we do with somebody who's always breaking the rules you know and staying up late and drinking and getting you know not coming to mornings as in What do we do David sitting there next to. You. And says a curious. As to the. Right everybody is making their best effort but security we need to do something you know don't we need to do something to correct its bad behavior this was you know and you know and it doing it openly openly right in front of her body and it's a degree say Well it's certainly better than he does it openly even hiding it from us. But shouldn't we do something you know we can't just allow its behavior to continue. And security said well sometimes. Someone's following the spirit of the rule even though they're not following the letter of the rule but. I think you could put my brother in that category. And. Director said Well wouldn't it be better if you follow the letter of the rule to considerations that yeah that would be best. If. It just. So interesting to me. But that's an example of how you know it wasn't. You know fixated on getting you to behave one way rather than another way I'd encourage you to study in or to feel your way along in the dark and just study what is what's the important point here. Certainly you know our lives. You know some of our issues take years and years Dino David ended up in rehab you know David in triple bypass heart surgery and rehab and. It's not a simple matter. To you. And me and still gregarious. And. And coincidently now it's in Europe it's being bigger issue and you're honest. And it turned out that. Of all of Suzuki Roshi his disciples and students David. Cited to preserve his legacy and to. SR You know. People of the sense and you were broke your temper years. Rehab says if you're a Shia arc we have to preserve these tapes we have to take care of these light streets we have to get them in that time it was reel to reel tapes and they've all been put on to digital recordings we have to do we need to preserve his heritage its legacy and David what is your problem because that might mean work and so David is just just decided to do all this himself. Think. Some security eight takes to nations Yeah yeah give him some money every now and again and he gives me. Now it's like now I've got all this if you or she lectures and one little city. And you write here. I don't know you know you should go to Crewe cute cute dot com. See you Katie and your David's website and see what is available from him because it's available it's available from him and from since intern you could. Get to I'm not sure what's available from sincere and future. There are things available to sensitive but I don't think it's what. It's necessary we're. OK. Thank you let's chant to end the lecture and continue Camaro.