blessings
some of them and last year worked on the complete his academic and which is going have a jessica
was against me a blessing on one book
so you'll have a chance again to get roster male vessels
had a good original
forty five guys are were were
thirty eight or ourselves
oh
and then he has the recipes from my book
so it's kind of its kind of strange where the not-so-distant bearing if you think there are in a recipe recipes that you can be during in a bed
master masterpieces and it a greg
i can get your element attributes that you get you know i do it i sit down and didn't like a masochist and said like other than that my brother to cook
so this is so strange like what can't we just have an ordinary light rather than making masterpieces other time during his can't do it
you can't make masterpiece am in one of my fave experienced back that is and about the poet william stafford know in stafford
he said if the latter part of his life in oregon
am
he was a conscientious objector know at work you just fairly unusual and the conscientious objectors run camps that's where i started writing poetry
and and i'll tell you when it comes
ah to simple that apartments it says it's yes
it could happen any time
it craig tornado armageddon
it can happen or sunshine foundation run
cutting out that's why we get up and look out
right so i will get up in running and regard yeah no guarantees in this life
right there are some bonuses
right morning
right
right now i mean by giving
caribbean carmina it can like
richardson kidney eat were we don't need to make it
slacker the are magnificently i know what's coming out
jewelry we can
and if another prominent as which is good the dread
or the way of the way it is the way things are the way it is
there's a tragic follow it goes a long things that change but it doesn't change people wonder about what you're presenting you have to tell her about thread
tragic has happened paper separate will grow old
you get sick
nothing it's our people get sick and guy you're suffering road

mapping you do who can stop times unfolding you don't ever let go of her bag
so
anyway when it is and when things get a superlative in practice writing a poem every day
you know or we can eat every day aged insist practice snow and so i went to one listing again you see she said and i i air from a rather dry
ah now under the current and it says you you read upon every day with yeah i i get up and running and i started my palm and and i am a good or a keep the genuine actually get the kids get the them can get them out to screw school sometimes during the work and if i don't finish any seven at night when every based on data get at my
common than we should have she says were hacking interior decorating a how to have to get a to can't be creative director at every day it can be inspired every day but instead i lower my standards

you know
hundred years i've done a lot of and then it turns out years later he was hoping to look
anyway and
fell and hurt so i want to touch it day about and
him some sort of where i started with cooking and and here as i and am
i am declined to add

i started cooking and is a bad nanking and twenty i mean i i cooked and a for that siren
i started and
ah i was living in san francisco
i'm a little alleyway which is now the middle of a safeway parking lot
and and iran go and apartment good head of children's chip williams living in my kitchen thirty nine dollars a month
we had three people i like you're conducting when gathering mainly mended the other bedroom said traders reach paid thirteen dollars around
read
he gets a whole different era
because in again
real estate market like a lot of things it's not set up or benefiting people providing housing so that forbidden to make money
ah and the difference now when you now to get in you know i gotta repay his backers the incurred as hasn't she said they're renting closets for three hundred dollars and notes five six hundred thousand is not just the differencing the you knowing
integration it's more than that
but anyway i started cooking and and i was just amazed you know cutting a pepper to they will cut open a cabbage and you could open a cabbage and they are writing
can you in you start looking at things and expansion things and read was come from me it isn't it amazing live with this year
and and
and right away things seem to have a candle and it's not magic is not a good run have a big red it's kind of presence
but you can we say and as and
it i found it awesome you know run a prosthetic able to actually stands and rugged something can smell things will see the colors and then are cut things i've to try out different shapes and to me resolve interesting than i had and etc
and i into the real our thrift shop and i've gotten a little of little wooden poles
and representatives regular winning supers and then i also found under the standard enameled metal balls and it was i know candy apple red and emerald green jeep forest green and silver metallic silver and then you notice
magnificent lavender purple
then i will experiment with is orange patients going rate
the metallic silver to be doing nearly lavender prefer to build a kitten point and brown in windows and so i was a steadying you know what goes with red
and i was doing a steady because you know it's it's they are mechanics is interesting this is like art this is and it's leg and nobody gets to stay at and nobody takes pictures of and nobody cares
but no i find it i find it enjoyable i bet something that fascinates me
and you know that obviously not just about getting something done it's about like wet and many people who said it's been it's like what gives you pleasure
and and pressure isn't just the activity you know it's like the your capacity to hell he advanced of your life aroused awaken pleasure in you
and that's something that reader either know even actually steady at a good guy or sometimes in france had been like this that gives your little doorway
i mean now that i look back
i found something
you know i can food i can actually relate to page and i could actually steady that
david those things and it's kind of like remedial relationship course
now i couldn't talk to anybody
i couldn't smile and anybody i didn't know how to work with anybody
i am
i did have a girlfriend by email and i i can remember much about the relationship with except that it was in runaways really sweet
and gang
in i have friends are like like a studio you have though depending on your childhood know i have one engine instead of checking on she said her father left and she was one
when just came back you know occasionally to abuse them
and another was an alcoholic and she'd raised home from school on the days that the get through per conversation getting ready to sign a peer pressure is too drunk to
gala jade is your hand to sign the report card
and when she went to college she didn't know anything about social skills or meals are eating together recruiter and and she went to college and she found that she could sit under the table with the stoners
there was sitting at the table and they didn't rangers did in there
and that was the level of her capacity for you know get in an act with others and i wasn't quite that bad but i know pretty
for down there is priced but in a pig oh how you can be to be held you back could be there and
so i've spent years it started like good as a transitional object when in psychotherapy and and they called a transitional object i mean and then and then later i graduated and and to and stuffed animals and then to eventually the people you know
but i'm getting things provide a kind of gateway and although you can stay something that you construct your extended and sometimes you know hopefully in you know a primary relationship is like that you said to be able to relate to one person and then you can relate to other people
and this is something that i mean young people who study psychology is it's in a your original
originally the babies in a fixate on mom space
and if you have a good relationship with mom's face and a connection from space than you can run around and come back to mom's space and everything extension and mom's space
and am
and then you know good and ideally when you then i'll go and use them to move away just in small letters when you come back mom say oh you look sad or how was it and what happened out there and you have a pithy comeback to villages
which is wrong and family and you have a safe place to harm
so and
and alves in a eight years to some degree or another we have harming the notes other ways in which we don't have a home and its psychological it's not just
one of the way that for me i create a compromise happens to cook
note that it's something you can work on and then i found home it's anthony
and i can only security
they found it upside down the hunger
and years later you know about nineteen i came here and sixteen pigs
abroad nineteen eighty eight i went to the insight meditation society and gay massachusetts or a three-month notation there
secondary there i was walking around and said
and is a who was as brick building
and i'm going to really break are right i'm gonna get the orphanage
i recently an opening for years
so and and then sen kind of like orphanages
we take in the people who were lost and haven't had enough family
and if you have enough family rest they don't get killed in a sentence
something has to have and happened to be insensitive
i'm signore i found a home here i can in a pan like a spiritual father which is accuracy you know and it's and then
am
but we also created with our activity notes money we didn't you go
it's a way to move back into your body you will beckons your body by extending a consciousness nj your hands and into movements and venue awareness is your you have any awareness in your body can do those movements
so you're moving back home you're being abbott and yourself by the packers
a real two men can and heather says for cooking
route back into by the insured sensors which tapings would smell things would change things we use her hands to do things so you know it's not just and cooking i didn't know what it is but why would why would cooking the about in know making masterpieces it's about coming home a killer again it owns about know
fishing is the notion of the paper and know sharing in providing an opinion

and i don't know i don't understand me i picked up my my marjorie
and
i sent as a airprint saturday and reinstated it hotel in monterey on saturday night that she'd arranged to expedia and and
you know i had my is of g
i have a bottle of wine but i think most pp a good about challenging you open a jar of fingers in you have a line and then it's you know you just pay money to not enough to not be nourished
rather than you make yourself at home by bringing your home with you you pay money work to somebody else for services that are gonna make you feel at home
are you can you can have their the judge i have i had some i had some bad from green gulch which with so turkey pastrami whitson smoke and that's my big pepper jack cheese and cheddar cheese in and in a it was natural for my lunch i had that look container and some salad you know saving i
handsome pumpkin seeds and sets and groceries and then i had and i've gotta love wines and then we have a snack or my tree got her last factor in buck company in a report coming up to the higher and being a blueberry and blackberry contact
but anyway and now you can take the dermis on the plane
you know except now i do anyway sometimes they take the anti parents
stop by starbucks in
updates are some facing the know
did you killed them separate you're not learning and actually no doubt really
you pay three bucks we're them some tea and then you have it on the plane when you want it and i take my empty plastic bottles water bottles into the airport and then i kill them from the faucet now instead of paying three dollars a bottle
because i'm gonna be a mom i may be mom and a minute and it's practice and i practice the snapping years
and nobody else is gonna be able to generate strongly hadn't found any rate is gonna get it is
and again so anyway and
to me it sam much more than just cooking and getting the cooking can to come out and but it's it's were all studying added nourish your and nourish and is how to be in our bodies had it actually be here and then pin and
the way to
i work
so i started with this i'm cooking and san francisco and i had such a good time and then it could having dinner parties and you know
i didn't kill anybody
i've had six eight ten people and makes it around and pitch average average every night just good but you'd like some on appears and habits and when stocky and
at the level of my capacity to socialize and i you know what people are talking about her he and i stood up know certain conversations and know how to participate

various conversation they don't know participate but similar characters are it's fairly easy
i made unjust in the right group socialize will anyway
enter politics i mean when when who cancer they had to say about politics and patient is why don't they that and like i know some like i know something
the stimulus package
what am i going to spend my days that investing in it's packaging
notice a good idea is this a bad idea is just a bailout for the banks and no no

and anyway so i get down here to i came down to casino
oh
and to keep track of changes were to start cutting things painful when i get down here because my friend if anyone from college and gone to antioch college for it
a year
you know antioch college of now at a business was in yellow been to you go to go for
eleven weeks and then you'd have like candies happening you going to work some place for three months i went to work in new york city for treatments in the music distributors ideally you know eventually you having jobs in your field it you start with you just have kind of jobs that somebody would take you so then was to write a paper about you know how how much
he used you're in a line from school in your work so i reading my paper i put to good use my knowledge in the upper bed and right the ability to count
it's my job is to fill orders for shading and taking on i needed to know the alphabet into account
i was studying
psychology and social psychology and sociology know great things i remember
anyway i dropped out and
it's can take care to tell you i this them and
but anyway my friend from
antioch went on a sense in a ski trip with and which i think of that and it's future and nineteen sixty
six or sixty six and he met feminine sketch atlantic baker
are you reading and became the abbot and since an interesting situation where so
rather bland bland in some ways charismatic leader
i'm richard alan stern shoes at ten jerk you want to read the book
van in america isn't good but anyway am
i get sent to my friend why you get in because i can get a job that were thinking about buying from than younger so my came down and getting a job as a handyman and said that i can think the a job nine a kitchen so i came down and get a job in the kitchen and that the bags with the onions toss her recent sure even republic
kitchen and inside i became the dishwasher the kitchen was a bug where the pit is now
jana the pin idea you can walk up if you walk behind the stinging area towards the craig you'll see this epidemic there is a kitchen rug at one point
i told us to the kitchen has taken down and let's take the winter after we got tassajara
i don't know why nobody right for stepped down but you know
ah the western kitchen having in a wonderful old kitchen and the report it and then we bought concerned that winter we brought his head in december of sixty pigs we had to we have six hundred dollars in the bank when you have twenty five thousand dollars with a downpayment in no no it's fundraising and big sales and garage sales and it was a
benefit you know where the quicksilver messenger service the the a great book navigate the dead but be a big brother and holding company and the jefferson airplane trade at the avalon ballroom generally the ticket we were taking hundred bucks
as we benefit
in you know the fall of nanking sixty six weeks spring and jefferson airplane came up and stayed in the pioneer on searching get attack and practiced in what is nuns a new area
it's the kind of compensation for their in a donation which a person said miss anything
but anyway that winter up to a buck has higher then there was for people staying up here and in the sixties and there's one line telephone line to the woods and sometimes it gets a storm the lions down and said data contact and know what have been doing up here for the winter brothers the hot tubs and is dope
who's getting stoned and so after wow it that way you know we need to help does infinite when it gets get started here next year and so we'd better get the kitchen taken down because they'd heard that the the county health department and why the reason for decks itself as i was the kitchen and until the next you need to read you know
kitchen before you can open a candle so the people who have inherited from this isn't that what we need to take the kitchen down so we can we do it he probably open again forbidding it's jury
some fright
you know richard baker whoever comes down here my god they've taken to the children
anyway the county you know under changing ownership you get a certain dispensation to do something else or period of time where you're working on your new kitchen enjoying good day her so anyway we moved to then the kitchen was from a bigger kitchen into what had been that dining and which is when the
lower said it's now
and we can work on that are new kitchen bear which in it with the stone was which took two or three years
a beard
turner days we did everything
and with states we didn't hire
people do so
and but anyway i so i got a job in your kitchen and you know the cooks company had an egg bread which was an outside my back tomorrow
ah and and then aperture december one of the could scrape and the beck said wet and chip one issued still cooking
it had been such a magnificent thing capable competent dishwasher and baker together it took two people to replace me to in addition to pots and the bank and i had been drinking
by myself i am
i am good
hello capable
and but as a cook and know i was extremely temperamental and i just discovered that that anyone instead started cooking i thought the kids were like idiots and be heaps to get upset about the things i get upset about and instead an upset about things
you know it's money know mean last week and seven was supposed to have
santana list of ingredients and baking times when this course
included on that business for hands of chinese cabbage for this morning we had foreheads and regular cabbage there's a reason why i wanted change cabbage it's easier to cut
you will have an easier time with the chinese cabbage came and changed everything get an ambulance cabbage
and the salad can not different man but in a word okay we're going to use something else reading the main time like
no
you can't there's nothing you can do about it he said if it makes an effort
and somebody says that they're taking care of it and it's psycho thing yesterday you know to shake it says you can we can meet you at high then we get here and and games as you can't and then
step happens we're making a in or good epic get up at nobody's purposely they trying to
add me something i mean it can happen
this case them
so anyway i started cooking
glenn because i had two months i had to enhancements experience cooking
with the decks as a resort your concerns and science and wedding should be that we had cooked extremely open a monastery
i am so much experience
i'm you're against it near a cook he could be the head cook here
oh okay
and am
yeah this would never happen now and then nobody is
the nokia will come and get a handle on sanitary pad conference internet cooking for in fifty students will get gets the day in a six meals a day
and you know people have no idea about it now you know like three summers ago
one of the gets cooks
there wasn't even born when i first came to tatar said and renew ever against cook

yeah when i was the against cook i was also be now you have a tendril you have a baker you have a day off baker you have forget cooks you have ahead of the probe crew you have a whole crop crew we had seven or eight people i was the kendo the hedberg
i was one of the to get cooks i was the baker i was the ghana baker i was the head of the crab crew and you know and it was five people are in the pit crew was not eighteen people and goods we went cooking for now we're cooking for more like a hundred and thirty years them
thing or a hundred and fifty in those who it with a hundred and so and we are cooking for my paper right
am
i just give anyone not knowing any better
and then
so that and that year and when i started cooking am
well one of the first thing could happen i got down here in may and from people being yeah this is the following winter or know they'd then it will get whenever the kitchen had been trying down and i got daniel and by that point i was like twenty five people here at atlanta and they told me when i went to work in the kitchen instead that we don't use salt
they didn't you tell me could know something bad for you

i didn't know
and already been bad it's bad for you
it can be very articulate repair
you say not very articulate i've been much more than one doctors is eating day but your collateral let's get johnson lip returns and now they don't seem to read the great collector on and they've bought into the billions of dollars in the pharmaceutical companies bid seven better off making drugs to every stat and to
are your restaurant fictitious the for no good reason and you will have fewer heart checked been really to have a higher death rate for everything else
a good to me
let's get you on some lipitor
jesus did some chicken
but nobody you know it's much more challenging touchy and lifestyle changes than to check back in your will just show some mentioned drugs go on living your life for a noise to have been made you sick and
or take heavy
anyway i'm
so i had to go as security
i'm scheduling read in the kitchen name instead of i i can't install because it's bad for you
zootopia i sad
i'm kind of vote
in originally never loads that is personal
and he's been you are the head cook you can use saw the keyword
i needed to get this a spiritual backing know
to stand up for a native solid the kitchen
was gives himself
and then i should work you have some of your invites from a broken in the kitchen and and this is ringing said when you add
when you wash the rice wash the rice bring you cut the carrots cut the carrots running stay safe during the soup
so oh okay sobering up so i i went back to the kitchen and and i'm doing is and other people mean room and then tell me about my dream that night and you know and i don't know why we have to work here in the kitchen we should be doing something spiritual and are we able to sit in and vendor and there's other people get to sit in rivendell we don't get this in when we have to work
hearing and or whatever and on and on and you know we don't get enough sleep here and you know events rather than know rather annoying like an
cutting the carriage when i got the and not talking
and i'm steadiness you know when you cut the kids cut the kids
and one sided that is get it done
but it's actually the champions the way the japanese talking about what embarrassing covering for this
right it's absolutely i give you a change into something give your attention to what you're doing how you use your hands are you use your body
you know how do you did this and steady steady going it for instance down
and my friend can find out who am i went to bury massachusetts that year to do that because treat and he had been student at sensitive and cancer and he came some ten minutes early seventies and thing and then later on you instead in her partner lot now he teaches her
there and an insular maintenance repugnance in south san cisco
and so guilt that it's in japan and he said in japan you know everybody likes to read from japan and say when you reddick just rake and in southeast asia they take when you reg watch your mind
so you know people are trying different instructions safe is in japan and configures the and gives you an earache just rake
and his clouds and danced and a big and then you have to make with everybody else you don't go out by yourself and make some plays he rigged with everybody else is the same group to group san is a group japanese group thing you do with others he don't say a way and in patients and sometimes the up and
they're just standing there

so i'm not much of a pen of this when you wake watch your mind that when you when you cut the carrots watched your mind know could you please when you get the get cut the carrots
you know steady how to do it you're killing in a way that makes it happen and then you know you
you know how do you use your body had a use your intelligence your consciousness to ran it as something in the world how did did that
and you know to have big and and
and when mystery and rigging it
whichever place here to a cooking class and
cutting class
an
so
ah after while there i went to sincere connection and i said in a you said when you wash the rice watch the rise when you kept the kids got the chance and mr in the serpent i'm really been accidents and settings but it seems like the other people in the kitchen or doing something else
ah they often noted to work on time and sometimes they go to the bathroom yeah it seems like a gun for half hour forty five minutes
and they they'd wanna talk and when they taught their stop rubbing and think know
and work anymore
pam and i don't know what to do you know how can i get them to to steady my camera into packers
sunseeker she is very unusual and know because he think they live in like yeah i know it's mean you just can't get getting help anymore can
a nod and in like yeah and challenging it and then he paused for a minute when it has done he said if you want to stay virtue you'll have to have a calm mind
and the first thing i that was that not when i asked you
i asked you how to make these people behave
and at any no and he switched it
and this is a very interesting point because and you know now i have a little book in a little bit my posture and easy to love difficult for discipline
and
this is a book about you can't tell you in an idea raise your kids and one of her basic maximises what you look for you'll get mob
so if you spend all your time noticing what people are doing wrong it was fathers' being to people during on it that's where you if that's how you use and your intelligence that's what you say if that's what you're looking for you'll see it
if you're looking for virtue lc virtue but you have to be looking for riches said becky bailey a republican you know and your kids and is ear says out why didn't you first in a look for she doesn't go adventure she says look for positive intention
you know it's so different if you if you come into the room and your kids are playing in its nationals want a neck and here you need to clean it up rather than it looks like you've been having a great time looks like you've been really having fun now it's can beat you know that start thinking about cleaning up there
and you want a person she says acknowledge new department and was positive about the situation before you just find fault with something
and then
so i started writing this
how'd you see a bridge you and it was true i needed to have you know your mind yet reminded the change
and i started not coming in a you need to have a line but okay if i can say virtue may be a that will have me how to online
okay the other way around but anyway i started with energy that for people's sincerity people's effort papers and everything to people were going
as opposed to say i'm still working on minutes
so i'm am and this guy comes up in his classes
you know what my first response would be know i'm i'm going to again in a position will be endeavoring to see virtue
and you're good heartedness in the original intention in near ever been here everything and then
and i might eyes and made now it's clear that way to in rapid feel like i'm being critical hit so hard to say anything
as a teacher you know because i know and i'm a guy you know i think you know all like this read and ghana is tracking like this with my january down and she said yeah i know its meaning and my husband and when we represent ai nan they been made eighteen and twenty years or something no longer than she said or when we were
you know he'd be loading the dishwasher just would not be putting dishes rights of if they will get clean i would explain that to him and he will be pitch
it's can like yeah i get it
so make honey i'm doing the dishes you get it i'm making an effort air i'm offering my services to benefit as i'm taking care of something and i don't want to hear about what i'm not doing you know right according to your standards i just like you know i'm
i thought i and i thought i was doing something to help and now you're right away it just criticizing me
and you and then you you hear it as no i'm not i'm not criticizing the can you try to explain i'm not criticizing that you're doing this and i really thank you for have been doing it but you know if you change they had been it were worked with a bit better yeah it's so hard
to go to then and simply pages big thank you for doing the dishes
he could he didn't but you know i'm not quite in that situation and thank you for cutting up vegetables and active wanted keep showing it
so should we get set up here again then i haven't noticed during the trick intelligence and you were gonna get we split up so we're going to take the tablecloths outright we need to put our paper or do we beat them cutting boards and tablet tablecloths okay rampant the cutting blades are on tap of the table growth
and

copy team competition

at somebody else is a minus in my pocket