2007.10.07-serial.00237

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Good morning. I'm delighted to be here and thank you all for coming. I appreciate an audience. And I don't know if any of you brought any of your little friends, but I brought one of my little friends because my little friend also appreciates an audience. So I'm going to introduce him to you. His name is Binky. And Binky is actually a Swami. Do you know what a Swami is? Swami is a spiritual master. So his full name is Swami Binkyananda. Some people call him Swami Beyondananda. Swami Binky Beyondananda. But we just generally call him Binky. And if you have any questions, you know, you can say, Hey, Bink, what do you think?

[01:05]

And then Binky will talk a lot sometimes, but then you'll need an interpreter, you know, and then I can tell you what he says. So did any of you bring any little friends with you? No. Are you too grown up for little friends? I guess I sort of missed some of the stages of growing up. So, you know, these little people are still in my life, not people. I call them either critters or stuffies. So anyway, Binky is going to sit here. And Binky, you know, is actually not so young himself anymore. Binky is something over 20 now. And Binky has been on a lot of adventures. Binky has been to India and back and to Europe. And Binky got lost in LA one time and was shipped

[02:08]

home. And then one time, you know, I went to an event in San Francisco and I came back to my car and Binky, instead of sitting in the car, was sitting on the windshield outside of the car. And I don't know how he got there, but we found him. I feel very fortunate that Binky is still in my life. And then Binky disappeared for the longest time. And finally, when I cleaned my room, Binky was under the bed. And Binky had gotten covered with dust, you know, under the bed. And so he needed to go through the washing machine. And then actually he came out squeaking better. Sometimes they tend to, when you wash your stuffies or critters that squeak, they lose their squeak sometimes. But anyway, Binky is still, you know, good. And he makes different kinds of sounds too, because he can also do. Or he can be, that's just kind of sad and plaintive sound, you know.

[03:12]

And then there's, he gets very excited sometimes, anyway. And then, anyway, he's also very good at sitting quietly, if it comes to that, you know, if he has to. So he sometimes says, you know, meditation retreats. You know, well, I'm not around. He'll sit and then see like we could just have him sit here and face the altar. And he's a very, you know, he's, even though he's a Swami, even though he's a spiritual master, he's still ready to learn more. So anyway, excuse me. So this morning, I wanted to talk with you, you know, a little bit about Zen and a part about, you know, Zen and Buddhism that we don't usually talk about so much. But I find it very interesting.

[04:22]

One other piece of information for you is that I'm now in a movie. And it's called How to Cook Your Life. And it's going to be showing this afternoon at the Mill Valley Film Festival, both in Mill Valley and in San Rafael. And then it's going to be in theaters later this month. And if you're lucky, your folks will take you one of these days to see my movie. And, you know, next spring, it'll be on DVD. So, you know, it could be all over the place. So you'll see me, you know, in the movie. So I want to show Zen, as you may know, our sold-out standing room only. Yeah, with a rush, yeah. But I've already petitioned for a third showing because I couldn't get it. You couldn't get a ticket? Oh, well. Coming to a theater near you. Anyway, I find this very interesting to suddenly be in a movie and it's just completely accidental. But part of what this

[05:25]

is about is, you know, it's about cooking. So I wanted to tell you a little bit about when I was a little boy. And, you know, it might be interesting for you to know that, you know, as you're growing up, there are things to do that, you know, that are very, you know, can be helpful later in your life. And so it turned out, you know, when I was when I was little, like seven, eight, nine and ten, I started helping my mom. I would help my mom make cookies and cakes. My mom would do this sometimes. And then, you know, when we finished making the cookies and cakes, we would get to scrape the bowl and lick the dough and the batter and the cookie dough and the frosting and things. So it was a lot of fun. I had such a good time. And then when I was 10 years old, I went to visit my aunt. And at 10 years old, my aunt was making homemade bread. She lived near Washington, D.C.

[06:30]

And the bread that she made was so delicious. It was so good. And I was 10 years old. And I thought, this is so good. And why don't we get to eat like this more often? And it turns out, if you want to eat like that, you need to make the bread yourself. So it turns out, if you can, you know, do something like cooking, and if you take an interest in cooking, and you start to make cookies and cakes and different things, then later on, you will have good food in your life. So this is actually our Buddhist tradition is a tradition which emphasizes finding out how to do things with your body, not just thinking about things and, you know, playing with, you know, games and, you know, toys and things with your mind, and just your hands, but doing things like cooking. And also, when I was growing up, you know, my parents said, You need to help clean around the house. And, you know, it's called

[07:38]

chores. And my dad said, You're part of this family. So you need to do part of the work. So every Saturday morning in my family, we used to clean around the house. And my job was the bathroom. So I cleaned the bathroom, I cleaned the tub, and I cleaned the toilet, we had a scrub brush for the toilet, and we had sponges and cloths, and I cleaned the sink and the bathtub and the toilet. That was Sunday morning. And then after I did all my cleaning, and then we didn't have television in those days. Oh, well. Do all of you have television or do some of your parents are enlightened or what? So anyway, then, and then we went outside and played a lot, you know, so when I was growing up, I also played a lot of sports. Do you play any sports, baseball and soccer, and so you get to run and, and kick and throw and different things. It's really

[08:47]

great to do things anyway with your body. So I'm going to I'm encouraging you today to remember to do this and also to ask your parents if you can help them, you know, do things around the house. Because my daughter, I thought I'll take care of these things for so she can play. And then later she told me why didn't you let me help you? So it's okay to ask them if you can help. You know, my daughter, by the way, you know, I'm remembering how I was 10 years old, and younger and helping in the kitchen, and learning how to make things and to eat was so good. And we had such a good time with that. And then I'm also remembering my daughter when she was little. And my daughter is now 34. When she was your age, I used to say to her, you're so wonderful. Now, you are so wonderful. Now, being just the size you are, and just the

[09:55]

shape you are, and being so much fun. And you know, and you're such a delight. You're not gonna, you don't want to grow up, do you? You're not, you don't want to change, do you? You're just wonderful the way you are. And then she would always say, No, I want to grow up. I'm not gonna stay like this. So I wish you well with this growing up business. And Vicky wishes you well. But I want to say one, one of the couple of things about this one is when I was 10 years old, and I, and I had this very delicious bread at my aunt's house. I thought, why aren't we eating like this? And I thought, when I grow up, I'm going to learn to make bread. And I will teach other people how to make bread. I was 10 years old. So you may, if you know, you may, if something interests you when you're young, this can help you all the rest of your life. And you decide, I'm going to learn how to make bread, I'm going to teach people how to make bread. And then, you

[11:03]

know, that meant I wrote a book about how to make bread. I taught people how to make bread. Now I'm in a movie teaching people how to make bread. And it all started when I was 10 years old. So this is pretty amazing that and how important it is to when you're young, to look for things in your life that you really inspire you. And you want to do these things, you want to cook, you want to clean, you want to garden, you want to sew, build things with your hands, you know, carpentry. And when I was little, we used to play with blocks. And we, my brother and I made towers and, and then of course, we'd knock them down. So there are many things like this. And I wish you well finding something in your life that is of really interest to you, and engaging that you can do with your body, you know, and make something, build something and create something with your hands. And like this. So you may find other

[12:04]

things of interest, but this is pretty sweet if you can find something like this. So thank you. And Binky thanks you. See you next month. Bye. Have a good morning. Thanks for coming. So there's a lot of seats up here in front now if any of you are small enough to take them. I learned something new yesterday from we had a little one day sitting here and the yogi teacher, everybody was, she was up here and then everybody was like halfway back in the room and she said, come on forward.

[13:20]

You're welcome to come on forward. I usually say to people, I guess I'm really scary, aren't I? And then they go, yeah, you are. Good morning. So you get to just send the kids off and then you get to stay? All right. I like that. Are you able to hear me? Okay. Now. So, you know, the one thing I didn't mention in my lecture, my talk, my visit with the

[14:43]

younger generation here is a line from a poem by Rumi. So now I can share that with you. But it has to do with, you know, how do we, what happens to us in our lives as we grow up and mature and age? And it's a line from one of Rumi's poems. If I, you know, if you memorize the poem, then you get to change it and then maybe it's just a different translation. And most of you won't know the poem by heart. So I can tell you it's Rumi. So now it's even better than Rumi. But anyway, it's the line. What was said to the rose that made it bloom is being spoken here in my heart now.

[15:51]

What was said to the rose that made it bloom is being spoken here in your heart now. Suzuki Roshi called this a sincere practice. He said, listen carefully to your inner voice. It's the voice of your heart. And as you listen carefully to your inner voice, this is what is spoken to the rose that made it bloom and will help you bloom. Katagiri Roshi said, you know, similarly, let the flower of your life force bloom. Again, this is, you know, to let your life take shape and form and to help you appear in the world, to help bring what is inside out into the world, to express yourself, to listen and receive and to express.

[17:00]

Dogen Zenji said, you know, let things come and abide in your heart. Let your heart respond. Let your heart go out and abide in things. This again is also, as I was talking with the kids, you know, to actually relate to the things of the world and study how to let them into your life and connect with them and respond to them. So it's not so much, you know, having an idea of what my life should look like or what the results should be, but by attending, giving your attention to things, letting things come to you, we all have the capacity then to respond in our individual, unique way to the things of the world. It's one of the wonderful things, of course, about Zen Center.

[18:01]

You know, some of us, it turned out, you know, it turns out have a gift for, as I apparently have a gift for cooking and something of a gift for teaching. I'm not sure how much of a gift, but it's what I do most of the time, whether I have a gift for it or not. I say I'm not sure because if you see the movie, you'll see me, you know, being a temperamental chef, I'm afraid. And Doris Dory, the director of the movie said, that's why you're in the movie, Edward. If you were not temperamental, we wouldn't want you in the movie. So this is sort of the good news and the bad news. You're in a movie because people get to see how immature. You are, and you're in a movie because people get to see how mature you are. And she said, we didn't want to make a movie about Thich Nhat Hanh or the Dalai Lama.

[19:04]

They're too spiritual. Oh, well. But it's been interesting over the years, you know, at Zen Center, some of us, we have an interest in cooking. Some of us, you know, Peter and Wendy and others have been fascinated and have an interest in gardening and plants and the weather and the food. And so many people come here because of that. And we want to make an opportunity then for people to, who have that kind of interest. And it often starts when we're very small. And we create then, along with, you know, Zazen, a sitting meditation, we create, we want to have opportunities for people to use your body,

[20:08]

to use your heart, you know, to manifest things in the world, food, gardening. And we have, you know, people who are interested in sewing. And so we sew, you know, robes and cloth and fabric. And people who are interested in carpentry. And, you know, up until fairly recently, the students here, we built the buildings, you know, the tea house. Paul Disko and Jerry Fuller and Jay Semino and Bird Brother and Michael Sawyer, Ken Sawyer. We built the tea house and we built the Bill Wright Center and we built the guest house. And there's something, you know, when you work with your body and do things with your hands, it's very, it's one of the most satisfying, fulfilling things we can do.

[21:10]

And Zen has this emphasis on using your body, using your hands. And the very practice of Zazen that we do, the meditation is with your body, sit with your body. And Dogen, Zen Master Dogen says, when you're sitting, study what is sitting. Is it a mind sitting? Is it a body sitting? Is it like an acrobat flying through the air? Is it like a fish darting in the water? Is it a body-mind sitting? Is it a body that has a mind? Is it a mind that has a body? What is it? And when we're involved in our activity, whether it's sitting or, you know, our cooking, gardening, carpentry, plumbing, cleaning, you know, we have this chance to feel the wholesome, wholesome quality in our lives.

[22:17]

And we begin to sense, you know, physically as much as mentally, you know, our connection with things. With the world, with stuff, you know. And that things are not just things, you know, things are you, yourself, things are Buddha. Everything is also spirit. And so we have spirit in our life, partly, you know, in Zen, certainly, because we relate to things. And, of course, this is really interesting at times. You know, the Zen, Kadagiri Roshi and Suzuki Roshi, the Japanese teachers always used to say, you know, we don't clean in order to clean. The Japanese idea is, if every day you go and, you know, you touch the floor, the floors of Ehechi are like wooden glass. It's from 800 years. Or whatever it is, you know, 700, 800 years of taking a dam cloth and wiping the wood every day.

[23:26]

So for the people doing that, it must be at times tedious. But when you look at that floor, it's like wooden glass and you can see your reflection. It's stunning. And that's people's hands, minds. And then they say it's not about cleaning. It's not about creating wooden mirrors. But it's about, you know, that you actually spend some time relating to something. If you touch the wood every day, now you're in connection with the wood. You're friends. You're intimate. And now you belong here. You have a place. The world is yours because you did something with it. And we all know, you know, similarly, the food we eat. You know, years ago I had, I met a yoga teacher from Ghana, Kofi, who's teaching now in Santa Cruz. I haven't seen him in years, but he came to dinner at my house one time.

[24:29]

And he said, how do you Americans eat anonymous food? When I grew up in Ghana, we always knew whose food it was. Which hillside it came from, what valley. And you eat anonymous food? How do you do that? But clearly it's a different world here. But, you know, when you know where the food comes from, and if you have food, you know, that you know is from Green Gulch, and you've seen it in the fields, and you've helped to pick it, and you eat it, and then you just feel, it's a different kind of delight. And it helps, you know, it's a similar, you get to know people at the farmer's market, and you get food, and pretty soon, and especially if you visit any of these places, and then pretty soon, you feel so happy. You're connected because you do the work of connecting with your awareness, with your heart, to the food, to the people, to the place, and now you're part of things. So it's actually our, you know, intention and our effort, you know, this kind of work,

[25:32]

of, you know, taking something and taking care of it, whether it's to clean it, or shape it, or cook it, you know, what to do with it. And it's curious, of course, that in our world, you know, work like this has gotten such a bad name. That's for poor people. I think it's a little bit better now, but, you know, for a lot of years, why is it that, you know, when I was 10 years old in 1955, there wasn't any bread in the United States, hardly. There was puffy white bread and cardboardy whole wheat bread. You know, who knows how long it had been, the packages were on the shelf in the grocery store because no one was buying it. And everybody at school had puffy white bread sandwiches, except for me. And, of course, nobody was asking

[26:33]

for a bite of my whole wheat sandwich. But that's changed now. You know, now there's actually bread here. And there's actually people working. And there's actually much more interest in people in doing things with your hands and your body. And there's so much, anyway, again, so much satisfaction and fulfillment and nourishment that comes from doing things with your body, doing things with your hands, and you feel good. So now, instead of doing that, it's sort of like, well, let's go jogging, let's go to the gym. Now we have to create exercise programs because we don't do anything with our hands. It's very strange. So this is my encouragement today, or possible interest to you, a reminder. And, of course,

[27:34]

we also have had people over the years at Zen Center, people who are interested in sitting. I mean, really interested. Frankly, if I may say, I've kind of lost interest in sitting. I mean, I still do it, but I don't have the sort of like, oh, this is interesting. I don't have the same sort of passion for it where you go and spend three months of your life doing mostly sitting, or seven years of your life, or 20 years of your life doing mostly sitting. That seems to have come and gone. And, you know, sometimes I think of Zen as a sport, since it's so physical. And we do sitting, and then we do bowing, and we do walking. And, you know, a couple of years ago at Tassajara, I go to bow, and my knees are going creak, creak, creak, and I'm like, oh, God.

[28:34]

And then I don't know if I can get down or get up from the bowing. And then when I sit, my knee's hurting, my sacrum's hurting. How do you do this stuff? And then it came time for service, and I couldn't read the sutra cards anymore. And, of course, what happened is I had all the sutras memorized, but then people who were really interested in getting it right get together and change all the translations. And they say, we should have the same translations all across America. Don't you know that small is beautiful? And that you could have little groups of people chanting one way or another, and get a sutra card when you go to somebody else's group. What's the problem? But now I know none of the sutras by heart anymore, and I always have to read it, you know. Thank you. Zen of America, you know. So I get a sutra card, and then I can't read it. So then I started bringing my reading glasses

[29:36]

to the zendo, and I still couldn't read it because the lights aren't bright enough. I can't, I can't see the page even with my glasses. So I'm starting to think, I started thinking like, Zen is a young person's sport. I did a lot of sports when I was little, even though I was little, you know, for being little. And I played a lot of basketball by myself, you know, which I got very good at playing basketball by myself. It didn't translate much into, you know, a group activity. And I didn't play very much football, you know. A couple afternoons of tackle football was enough, you know. We'd run up and down the field and tackle each other. It was at Drake High, the field at Drake High, you know, because I lived right next to it. And I played a lot of, and I played baseball because baseball is kind of boring,

[30:37]

you know. You stand around a lot waiting for something to happen. And your turn. It's a strange sport for kids. And then I played a lot of tennis. Tennis is good because you can, you know, run around. I played a lot of tennis with my friend who was my height. You know, we were the two shortest boys in sixth grade. We played tennis together. So anyway, I took up this sport called Zen. And, you know, a nice physical thing to do. So it was engaging for me. So I want to tell you, share with you also then a poem I've been using lately. And that I find quite a wonderful expression. I think this is so interesting, you know, that

[31:39]

Zen isn't about, and Buddhism isn't really about, you know, becoming a certain kind of a person. I mean, many people, and we mention this oftentimes, you know, Suzuki Roshi said, when Zen is Zen, you are you. He didn't say when you get to be Zen enough, then you are Zen. It's like when you make yourself over to become a Zen person. Now you've got it. So in some way, you know, this is about a practice about becoming ourselves. And how would we know that? You know, this is mysterious. And again, Suzuki Roshi said, this is sincere practice. Sit quietly. And practice, he said, depends really not so much on the teaching or the teacher, but on the character and the effort of the student. The character and effort of the student. And he said, sit, listen carefully, listen to the quiet

[32:41]

inner voice. And it's pretty difficult if you've tried sitting at all, and for any of us in our lives, which is that quiet inner voice? Which one is that? Which is the inner voice that is the one that, you know, is the voice that helped the, you know, what was said to the rose that helped it bloom. Which is the one, the voice that's helping us to bloom in our life? So, this is a poem by William Stafford called The Way It Is. It's in a book of his poems called The Way It Is, which is a collection from several of his books. William Stafford, it turns out, was, grew up in Kansas. And during the Second World War, he was actually a conscientious objector. Nowadays, I think, you know,

[33:43]

probably conscientious objectors have a little more, what with the Vietnam War and the Korean War and the war in Iraq, conscientious objectors probably have a little more credibility. And interestingly enough, of course, the Second World War, you know, there's this long special now with Ken Burns on television, which is pretty interesting. And in some ways, of course, it was obvious that, you know, we should be fighting this war, the Second World War. But William Stafford was a conscientious objector. And interestingly enough, I don't know, some of you probably saw it recently in the New Yorker magazine, there was an article about the partition of Pakistan and India. 1948. And it described what a racist

[34:43]

Winston Churchill was and how demeaning and insulting he was to the Indians and how they were a bunch of whatever he called them and that they should never have independence and they needed the wonderful lordly British to rule over them and to help them with their poor ignorant lives. Winston Churchill and apparently Franklin Roosevelt would send him letters and calls and cables and various things saying, lighten up, Winston. We're fighting for freedom, remember? But it's one thing to fight for your own freedom, but then when you're ruling it over others, you wouldn't want to give them freedom, apparently. So I hadn't realized this about Winston Churchill. I'm more in the school of, you know, when Lady Astor said to Winston Churchill, if you were my husband I'd give you poison.

[35:44]

And he said, Lady, if I was your husband I'd take it. Anyway, back to William Stafford and the way it is and the thread. So this is the way the poem goes. There is a thread that you follow. It goes among things that change, but it doesn't change. People wonder about what you're pursuing. You have to tell them about the thread. As long as you hold on to it, you can't get lost. Tragedies happen. People get hurt and die.

[36:44]

You suffer and grow old. Nothing you do can stop times unfolding. You don't ever let go of the thread. There is a thread you follow. It goes among things that change, but it doesn't change. People wonder about what you're pursuing. You have to tell them about the thread. Tragedies happen. As long as you hold it, you can't get lost. Tragedies happen. People get hurt and die. You suffer and grow old. Nothing you do can stop times unfolding. You don't ever let go of the thread. Again,

[37:53]

practice, Suzuki Rishi said, depends on the character and effort of the student. Listening, sensing the thread of your life that will carry you throughout. I would guess, you know, obviously the thread includes the fact that we get lost. That kind of thread runs in a number of our lives. That's where it's in centers. So this is very mysterious. What is the thread of your life? What is the thread that's in your heart? How will you live? What do you want to do with yourself? How will you spend your time? What is important

[38:55]

finally? Again, you know, my daughter, I used to think when my daughter was younger, and she's 34 now, she and her boyfriend just moved back into my house and they're paying me rent, which is helpful here in the Marin County real estate market, if I may say so. And it's a delight to have her, you know, sharing a house with me again. But it turns out, you know, when she was young, I used to think, I will cook for her and I'll make her food. And then years later, you know, she said, Dad, you weren't there. And she said, why didn't you let me help you cook? I thought you didn't like me. And I thought I was doing something, you know, to benefit her by cooking for her and letting her play or do something that she enjoyed. I thought I was, you know, benefiting

[39:57]

her. And then she says, I felt like you didn't, I thought you didn't like me because you never asked me to help you cook. This is such an irony, you know. But anyway, we talked about all these things and now we cook together. And it's a lot of fun. Very enjoyable. What was said to the rose that made it bloom is being spoken here in your heart now. Thank you.

[40:44]

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