I feel a little overdressed tonight, but, you know, I heard there was a party, so. Ceremonial occasion. I heard somebody was going to give a talk. I'm hoping he doesn't fall asleep in the middle of his talk. I don't mind if you do, but I'm hoping that I don't. I'm going to see if I can stay awake. Well, I've given a number of talks this summer, I think four anyway, maybe five. And tonight I'm finally ready to tell you the secret of practice, of life. You know, of course it's not really a secret.

[01:02]

You know, it's just that mostly we hide this little piece of information from ourself. So we go on as though this was a secret. You know, we keep this in hiding, this secret that I'm about to reveal. That's why we say it's a secret. It's not really a secret, and it's not really hidden, but we don't often admit. But the secret to life is enjoyment. Enjoyment. And, you know, some of you might get this right away. Oh, of course, enjoyment. But mostly you'll, uh, enjoyment? The concept for most of us is a bit, like, scary. You know, if I mentioned to people, please enjoy your food,

[02:07]

you know, people would say, if I enjoyed my food I'd be a blimp. But, you know, that's not clear on the concept. You know, and it's not clear on the difference between, you know, what is enjoyment and what isn't enjoyment. And when enjoyment goes over into lust and greed or excitement. And, you know, that's, if you've become a blimp by, you think, enjoyment, you know, that's not serious devotion to enjoyment. That's not a serious commitment to enjoyment. Your practice of enjoyment has slipped. You know. And I will talk about various other examples. So, this is a touchy subject. And, you know, we also have the notion that if you had enjoyment you could fall in love rather easily. And there are unwanted pregnancies and, you know, all kinds of catastrophes in store for you

[03:09]

if you actually were to allow enjoyment into your life. But, again, it's not clear on the concept. So, I have to, I feel like, talk about this some tonight to reassure you. How the practice of enjoyment could actually benefit you in your life. And allow you to go forward. And to, you know, this in fact, Dogen says, enjoyment is the Dharma gate. That our practice of Zen is the Dharma gate. The entryway to, is enjoyment. This is the Dharma gate of enjoyment. This used to be translated as the Dharma gate of repose and bliss. But now, the last time that Koz worked on the Fukanza Zengi, and we were working together, and he said, this is more like enjoyment. This is enjoyment. This is the Dharma gate of enjoyment. Enjoyment is also, to remind you, one of the five factors of absorption.

[04:16]

That's concentrative absorption or samadhi. The initial stage of absorption includes enjoyment. It's also one of the seven wings of enlightenment. So, I'm not just making this up. You know, I think sometimes I give talks and people think, oh, he's just making it up. That's just his Buddhism. It's not, it's not, he's just calling that Buddhism. He's, he's just got his own world. He lives in his own realm. It's not the true teaching that he's giving us tonight. So I want to reassure you that this is actually Buddhism. So, first of all now, I need to, I want to give you, you know, a kind of understanding of this particular concept of enjoyment. There's a few little pieces to it which are important.

[05:18]

So this enjoyment is said to be the quality, you know, this is a feeling. This is a feeling of connecting to the object of your awareness, connecting with the object of your awareness and letting it move you. Or where your awareness or consciousness resonates with the object of awareness. Resonates, you know, vibrates, hums with, attunes with, in Aikido you would call it blends with, you know, you blend your energy. So, your consciousness, when your consciousness connects with the object of awareness and resonates, vibrates, hums, blends, you're moved by the object and you can move the object of awareness. You're that connected. That's Buddhist enjoyment. So this isn't exactly the same as, but on the other hand it's not entirely different,

[06:22]

you know, there's enjoyment which is just enjoyment. Something happens and you enjoy it. You have enjoyment. There's enjoyment present, you know. And it, you know, this quality, so at times we think that, you know, and one of the ways that Buddhism says we suffer is we think that our enjoyment depends on the object of consciousness. And we have to get the right object, the one that's going to elicit the enjoyment in us. Okay, so if I had the chocolate cake, I could have enjoyment up to a point and then, you know, I'm too full to have the enjoyment from the chocolate cake. I would have more enjoyment from not eating the chocolate cake than I would have from continuing to eat the chocolate cake. Where is that point? You see, this is practice. This is subtle feeling, reveals illumination.

[07:24]

And so we think, oh, I need this object. And then we think, if somebody smiles at me, I could have enjoyment. If they frown or if they're angry or if they're upset or they're scared or they're sad or they're disappointed, I couldn't have enjoyment. So I need them not to do those things and I need them to do these other things and then I could have my enjoyment. And so would you stop that? You see, and so then we develop, because we believe that our enjoyment is dependent on the object, we try to control the object. Shut up. You know, go over there. Come over here. Oh, you're nice to have around. Get here. And we try to get to things that would be enjoyable here and get to things that wouldn't be enjoyable over there somewhere else. And how well does this work, you see? This is what Buddhism says, it doesn't work very well now, does it? The things that you don't enjoy keep showing up right in your face

[08:32]

and the things that you enjoy somehow are over there somewhere. It's somehow just exactly the opposite of what you were thinking. And we keep thinking that if I just had a better way to control these things, maybe practicing meditation would be a better way to control all these things. And then, you know, that doesn't work either. It's very frustrating to become Buddhist and then still have this idea of how to control and manipulate the objects. And objects, you know, in this sense are objects that are outside. People, things, the weather. And then there's your body and your breath. There's sensations and thoughts and feelings. So all of these objects are possible objects that you think are going to produce enjoyment or something other than enjoyment. And we think, I'll just learn to control these things better.

[09:36]

I'll really get it down and then I can just have the enjoyment. This is called, you know, suffering. To have this concept about how to go about life. And, you know, very basic to Buddhism then is, why don't you just practice enjoying whatever happens to show up? I mean, is that simple or what? But then, of course, you're stuck with the problem with this is, what? You mean, how do I enjoy pain? How do I enjoy sickness? How do I enjoy fatigue? How do I enjoy anger? But, you know, there's all these things. They're just not enjoyable. You're telling me to enjoy them? That's screwy. That's crazy. That's sadomasochism. Anyway, people will accuse you of all kinds of things, you see. But the concept, again, of enjoyment in Buddhism is that your awareness could actually connect with the object,

[10:42]

anger, frustration, sadness, disappointment, fatigue, enjoyment, energy, happiness, delight. Your consciousness would connect with the object and resonate with. So, this is also called, you know, compassion. It sometimes would be called acceptance. It would be called forgiveness. You know, this, it would be called, it could be called gratitude tonight or calling it enjoyment. That enjoyment is, your consciousness connects, is with, resonates or is moved by, is touched by. You let your consciousness be touched by something. So, again, this is different than our usual idea of how to have happiness. Usually our idea of how to have happiness is, I'll touch the things that I'm comfortable touching and I won't touch, I won't have to touch, I'll arrange it so I don't have to touch or be touched by those other things

[11:45]

that are so disgusting. Right? This is our usual idea. And consequently, we spend a good deal of our life being out of touch. Literally out of touch. Out of touch with sensations, out of touch with feelings, out of touch with thoughts, out of touch with people in our life, out of touch with, you know, the world around us. Because as soon as you're touched, one of those bad things might happen. One of those things that were unpleasant or painful or disgusting. I was reminded, talking with Hector at dinner, my friend Sharon works as a nurse for the homeless in Boston. Sharon was just here a couple of weeks ago with her husband. So she, one of her clients, you know, she goes out to the underpasses and places where her folks live. And then she tells them, you know, I'm here. She doesn't go up under the underpass, you know, into weird places.

[12:48]

You know, she has somebody go up and tell them she's down there and then they can come down and get their medications and things from her. She has a kind of regular group. She kind of knows where they hang out now. These are people who have chosen this lifestyle. Sharon's chosen to help them live their lifestyle. Some people say, that's strange. But anyway, one of her clients, patients, needed, you know, had an emergency. They brought him into the emergency room. He was very upset. One of the things that people in this circumstance aren't very trusting. They don't connect well with other people. So when they brought him into the emergency room, he started screaming at everyone, you know. And people were pretty upset and their reaction was to restrain him.

[13:56]

What you do with somebody who's screaming is, you strap them face down on the gurney. That will teach them a lesson. That will shut them up. This is not enjoyable to have somebody screaming. So when Sharon finally got there, he was still trying to scream. While he was strapped down. And she went over to him and she said, I didn't know what to do. But I got a chair and put it by him. And there was a curtain there, so I pulled the curtain shut. And I sat down and I reached out my hand and put it on the small of his back. And I said, Richard, it's Sharon. And I'm going to rub your back now. And Sharon started rubbing his back. And in a minute or two, Richard said, that feels so good. And then Sharon said, Richard, I'm going to be here as long as you like.

[15:00]

But I would like to ask you one thing. I'd like to ask that you not scream anymore. Because if you do, they're going to hurt you. And Richard said, OK. And then Sharon started hearing these voices on the other side of the curtain. Did you see that? She actually touched him. She actually is touching that filthy, disgusting man. Isn't that so weird? What is she doing anyway? All the other nurses were talking to each other. So this is an example of, is there some way to connect, be with, resonate with, be moved by, be touched by, to touch and be touched by the object of your awareness. In this case, a person who's in pain. And we're all sometimes a person in pain. Then what will you do when you're the person in pain?

[16:02]

Do you strap yourself down? Tell yourself to shut up? It's not that bad. I don't want to hear it. What will you do when you're the one in pain? Or will you, with your consciousness, reach out to the part that's in pain and have some presence there and be moved by that pain and touch it and feel it and be touched by someone who's having difficulty to touch and be touched by someone in difficulty. So that's enjoyment. That's Buddhist enjoyment, is you can reach out. With your consciousness, sometimes it's reaching out, you know, inside. Your consciousness goes out to your breath. Can you enjoy your breath?

[17:04]

And to enjoy your breath, for many years now, Thich Nhat Hanh has taught, please enjoy your breath. He said, you know, this is the teaching that Westerners need. More than they need, you know, focus, pay attention, concentrate, apply yourself. Why don't you enjoy your breath? Let your breath, let yourself, let your consciousness be moved by your breath. Let your body be moved by your breath. You know, let your breath move your body. So there's a level of this kind of enjoyment which is then sensation, pure sensation, you know. And it's allowing the sensation of your being to arise and disappear. It's allowing the things you see to come into your sight

[18:06]

and to disappear. And letting yourself, you know, see. Receive the sight, receive the sound, be moved by, touched by the sound, the sight, the sensation. But again, we tend to have the idea that my happiness will be in not being touched by anything unless I'm sure that it's okay and it won't cause any problems and it won't be upsetting and it won't be angry and it won't be sad and it won't be discouraging and it won't be frustrating and it won't be disappointing and then I'll touch it. How often are you going to touch anything then, you see? So if you're interested in, when you're interested in connection and connecting with yourself, your own being, with others, with the world, with realization, then you allow yourself to be touched by the sensation

[19:06]

and to touch with your awareness. This is also, of course, you know, implicit or a part of Western culture. William Blake had this kind of idea centuries ago but, you know, William Blake, of course, as you know, was a heretic. I mean, who cares what William Blake thought, you know? He wasn't a good churchgoer or the right kind of religious fanatic. But Blake said, the whole of creation is infinite and holy but it appears, it now appears finite and so corrupt.

[20:09]

This will come to pass by an improvement of sensual enjoyment. This will come to pass. The world appearing as infinite and holy will come to pass by an improvement of sensual enjoyment that you could actually sense with your being. But first, the notion that people have a body separate from their soul must be expunged. You know, the notion that body, mind, or body and consciousness are different, separate, you would have to let go of that. I will talk more about this. And then he said, when the doors of perception are cleansed, then everything will appear as it is, infinite. When the doors of perception are cleansed. This is, again, the idea, this is enjoyment.

[21:18]

When you're actually able to enjoy, that is, the doors of perception are cleansed, what's in the doors of perception is, I better not, I'm scared. You know, this could happen, that could happen. I need to be careful. I better stay separate. Watch out. You know, don't connect. So, you know, we Zen people, we try to have this nice safe place. Well, you know, okay, you're just going to sit there with you. It's just you, okay? Don't worry about the ice cream, the cake, you know, the sex, the people. You know, you could just touch and connect with you. I mean, how dangerous could that be? Come on. Go for it. You know, your breath, your body, sensation. Feel your hands, feel your legs, your heart, your head, your neck. How about it? Careful, careful.

[22:19]

Pay attention. Get it right. Is it spiritual yet? This is big. So, you know, mostly our doors of perception are not very open. They're not very cleansed. And we have the idea that the body, you know, we tend to have this idea as Westerners and probably as Easterners too, you know, that the body and mind are separate. And we have the idea that the mind is strong, the body is weak. But actually, you know, it's the other way around. The body is strong. The mind is the weak one. That's a lie by reversal. You know, hands love to do stuff. They love to work hard and, you know, and get in the dirt and play and do things and pick stuff up and put them down and, you know, move them around and scrub things and do things. And then the mind says, I don't feel like it. Not today. It's too hot. You know, the mind says all this stuff.

[23:25]

It's the mind that has the problem. Hands like to do all these things. And your hands, after a while, you don't do those things. Your hands are like, oh, my God, you know, this is so depressing. I don't get to do anything. That fellow there doesn't feel like it today. Hands naturally are going to enjoy something. And there's all kinds of things out there. They like to be touched and touched. And it doesn't matter what it is, you know. It can be sponges, pots, pans, floors, brooms, cups, you know. Pianos, guitars, faces, you know, laundry, the air. Hands like this. So, Brother David, who is a Benedictine monk, you know, Brother David. And Brother David came here to Tassara in the very first practice period, 1967, summer of 1967.

[24:26]

He was here for the first month of the first practice period, July of 67. I was the head cook. Brother David was the head dishwasher. So I would, you know, thank Brother David often. This is the bodhisattva. You know, these are the true bodhisattvas because, you know, if you're in the dish shed, and then, you know, no matter how hard you work, they just keep bringing you more dirty stuff. It's never done. And then you clean it, you clean things, and then they just bring them back to you dirty. They don't say, oh, thank you for cleaning it, now we'll take care of it, we'll venerate it, we'll honor it, we'll put it on the altar. No, they just dirty it again. So it's tremendous forgiveness, you know, tremendous compassion, tremendous, and then, you know, enjoyment of hands doing things, and taking care of those things, and putting them through the water. So I would thank Brother David, the great bodhisattva of Tassara, thank you.

[25:33]

I couldn't do my job without you. And Brother David one time said, everything, you know, in life, in Christianity, in Christian terms, this is about communication, he called it communication. Tonight I'm calling it touching and being touched, connecting, letting your awareness, you know, be moved by something, connection. He's calling it communication. But he said, everything in life is a gift from God. This is a Christian way of putting it, right? Everything in life is a gift from God. Today we did, in improvisation, everything that anybody says is a gift. So, like, you ought to open it up. You ought to check it out. You know, we were actually giving each other gifts. Here's my gift, and then you open it up. What is it? What do we have here? I got a stuffed elephant at some point.

[26:36]

That was pretty nice. I like stuffed elephants, you know. But, so, everything in life is a gift, and as long as you, but for it to be a gift from God, you have to receive it as though it were a gift from God. And if you say, oh no, I don't want this gift, I don't see where this is a gift. That's called sin. Sin is to receive that a moment of your experience is not a gift from God. And you don't want to open it up. You don't want to appreciate it. You don't want to enjoy it. You say, no, thank you. This is no gift. That's called sin. And according to Brother David, who is a Benedictine monk, I mean, I don't know Christianity, but he said, well, they actually tried to get rid of that heresy of the division of mind and body, you know, back in the 3rd century or the 4th century. And they said, that's a heresy.

[27:38]

That's separation. So, you know, your desire is a gift from God. Mostly we get desire in our life, and we want to eat, or we want to have a relationship. So we have desire, and then, first thing we want to do is, like, why don't I get rid of this? Why don't I act on it? Why don't I satisfy it? So where was the gift of the desire? And connecting with the desire, and being moved by, I have desire. And I appreciate this gift of desire in my life. And I don't want to just kill it off right away. So you see, this is not simple when I say enjoyment. There's a lot to enjoy. It's not easy. It's not an easy practice. But it's where connection is. It's where intimacy is. It's where our real vitality and our real joy,

[28:40]

and our energy, you know, our intensity of our life. It's where, this place where things meet, things connect. So, briefly, I also want to, tonight, talk about the difference between enjoyment and excitement, and greed and lust, because it's easy to confuse these. So, I'm thinking, like, why don't I talk about this in terms of food? And, you know, since it's a subject I've spent a fair amount of time studying. I've spent time studying any number of things, but food seems a good place to start tonight. You know, we do this ceremony of eating food in here,

[29:45]

in practice periods, and we serve each other food. And it's extremely, it turns out that to serve food in silence is one of the most intimate things you can do with somebody. It's that scary, it's that intense, you know. You bow, and then they have the food, and they're putting the food down, and then you're going to pick up your bowl, and you're just so present with each other. And then, when I used to, I used to serve a lot, because when I worked in the kitchen, we didn't have the people from the Zen to come and serve the food. So the kitchen people put on some clean aprons and went and served the food. Then we cleaned up. We did it all. Somebody finally figured out, no, no, no, that's not the way it's done. You know, you get the people from the Zen to come and serve the food. And you right away, in the silence, you sense people's anxiety, fear, desire, greed, lust, you know, disappointment, confusion, anger, hurt.

[30:46]

And right away, you just meet somebody. You have the food, they're sitting there, they've got their bowls. And you can tell right away who that is. And, you know, I used to, I used to, some of you have heard this story, but anyway, I used to be in a race with the person across the Zen dojo to see who could serve the most people the fastest. Because I heard that was good Zen practice, and I wanted to do Zen practice good, well, better than other people. Because, you know, if I did that, I could like myself more. Right? I couldn't, I mean, who would want to like somebody who was the slow Zendo server? I mean, how could you do that? These concepts are so strange, you know. I mean, but, you know, we get these ideas. So I used to serve Suzuki Roshi extremely carefully.

[31:50]

After all, he was our teacher, and I loved him so much. And so I very carefully wouldn't want to get any cereal on the side of the bowl, you know, any little drops of cereal or food. And I'd want to get it carefully in his bowl and have it be just the amount he wanted. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. And then the next person would be not quite so carefully, and then by the third person I would wonder like, why can't you get your bowl out here a little faster? Because, didn't you know, but I'm having a race with the person across the way. And you need to be a little more alert here, Zen is being alert and paying attention, and, you know, get your bowl out so I can get the food in it. And stop being so fussy about how much. Oh, I just want a little bit more. Just a little bit more. I just want a little bit more. And then, you know, just the broth. Just the broth, not the, you know.

[32:51]

And then I'm going to like, just take what you're served, you know. And let me get done with my job and stop being so fussy. But, you know, so everybody knew I was very intense. When you have a little agenda going, you can be pretty intense. And one day it occurred to me, I started thinking like, what's the difference between Suzuki Roshi and these other people? Is there some real difference? Or is this a matter of, you know, the doors of perception being cleansed? Is this a matter of, you know, greater sensual enjoyment, an improvement of sensual enjoyment, an improvement of receiving somebody? When the doors of perception are cleansed, you know, everything will appear as it is, infinite. Are these people less infinite

[33:54]

than Suzuki Roshi? And I thought, why don't I just, I couldn't find the difference when I started thinking about it, any real difference. And I thought, why don't I just serve everybody as though they're Suzuki Roshi? Why don't I just be that careful with each person? That's enjoyment. That's connecting with each person, connecting with this gesture, you know, being careful, thorough. But we tend to make that kind of discrimination. This is important, that's not important. The other day I got, I was washing pots in the kitchen and this one pot was just a, was about a quarter cup of, two or three tablespoons anyway, of rice that was washed

[34:55]

and then had just been left in the pot because it's too much work to get it out of the pot. And, you know, I'm just old school, I'm afraid, you know, Dogen says, take care of the food as though it was your eyesight. And he says, don't fail to add one grain to the pile of merit. Anyway. And that's something, you know, but that's not just about doing it right, that's something that, it's a joy, you know, to be moved by a grain of rice rather than saying, oh well, that's not enough. That's not enough to care about. That's not a Suzuki Roshi to care about.

[35:56]

That's just an ordinary person, that's just a few grains of rice. So Dogen says, don't think with ordinary mind, don't do things with an ordinary mind, don't see things with ordinary mind. You know, if you're going to practice enjoyment, you practice connecting with being moved by a few grains of rice and moving them, being moved by and then taking care of them. Anyway, I started talking about food so briefly, that was all to say that when I had many years of experience eating in silence, so when you eat in silence, you get to notice what you're doing. And so, I would describe greed as that's where you have food in your mouth and in order to, it's so delicious, it's so amazing,

[36:57]

it's so wonderful, you need to get rid of it so you can get more. So you need to not experience the food that you have in your mouth so that you can get rid of the food in your bowl so you can get seconds. So that's not enjoyment. Okay? That's where you have to eat faster and not experience it and just get rid of it and get through that experience so that you can get the seconds where you're going to have more of this wonderful thing that you're not actually having. This is greed or lust, where you chase something and you don't ever experience what you have and you have to get rid of that to get on to the experience that you could have that you won't have because you're busy not having it so you can get rid of it to get, you know... This can be, of course,

[37:59]

extremely intense, this experience, extremely gripping. You can be extremely enthralled and caught up in it, but it's not enjoyment. And you're not connecting with the food. You're not actually tasting much of anything. You have no enjoyment. Okay? So, I did this for a while, you know, and I used to eat two bowls of cereal, two bowls of, you know, nuts, two bowls of fruit, two bowls of everything, you know, and I had to eat very fast because we don't have that much time when we're in the meditation hall. And I thought, why don't I just taste this stuff? So this is enjoyment, you know, that you could actually taste what's in your mouth and actually have it and appreciate it and connect with it and be touched and savor it. You'd actually savor this moment.

[39:01]

And then I was eating a third as much and I wasn't hungry. Before, I was always hungry. We used to have, you know, contests to see who could eat the most. We used to get bread at lunchtime and we had we had yeasted bread and unused bread and, you know, and then we had spread, peanut butter spread or butter or jam or something to put on the bread and you'd get the bowl and then you could you'd get the condiment bowl and then you could divide it in thirds. You could divide it in thirds, the bowl, you know, and then get your third and get it in with your bread to make sure that you got your share before they did. And then we would eat, you know, twelve, fourteen, sixteen, eighteen half-slices of bread for lunch. There was this frenzy, you know. It was a frenzy, it was a it was a frenzy

[40:04]

and then, but there was no enjoyment of actually savoring and being present with and receiving and being moved by and touched and nourished. This is where nourishment is. You can't be nourished when you're greedy about taking in and then not actually experiencing what you take in. Then you have the sense of being a hungry ghost. No matter how much you take in, you're still hungry because you never got nourished. You never had the experience of the sensation of food swallowing, tasting, touching. And excitement is similar to this where you start eating and then it gets so exciting and there's this excitement and then you don't have the food to savor it or taste it but in order to perpetuate the excitement. So now, instead of connecting with or having, you know, some meeting or touching and being touched by food,

[41:06]

I'm going to just use the food to have my excitement. And again, you don't end up having nourishment then or sustenance or well-being because then you will also feel used. And then you're trying to produce in your body this excitement which is going to do it for you. And then, do you understand? You know, sometimes we ask our body, we say to our body, well, you know, give me something better. What you're not doing, it's not good enough, it's not exciting enough, it's not pleasurable enough. Can't you do something, can't you do better than that? Why haven't you enlightened me yet? Why haven't you come up with something? Get it together. Shape up. So we ask our bodies to produce some, you know, better experience for us. This is...

[42:08]

And then, you know, you won't feel good then. You'll be unhappy. Your body, your being will feel, you know, used. Whereas enjoyment, you're actually, you actually connect, receive, touch, and are touched and moved and resonate with. And there's actual, there's actual pleasure there. And deep sustenance, deep well-being and nourishment. So I hope I've given you a few little clues here. And that you understand something about this concept

[43:08]

in Buddhism of enjoyment. So this involves connecting or showing up in your life. You have to show up in order to enjoy. You have to be willing to be touched, to touch and be touched by your experience, by the sensations that are arising, by the feelings that are arising. In your being. And then that turns out to be nourishing and actually the experience of that when you carefully experience. And the cleanse, the doors of perception are cleansed of thoughts of good and bad, right and wrong, I better this, I should that, I shouldn't this, I mustn't that. It's, your doors of perception are cleansed of thinking. Doors of perception are cleansed of greed and lust, excitement, you know, other kinds of

[44:11]

tendencies that grip us. And when we meet something, you know, we have a kind of sense of vastness, of infinite. And we call that joy. And this joy, as I mentioned it again, is, you know, not dependent on any particular object, it's not dependent on your controlling things, on your being, you know, not having angry, not having sadness. These are all gifts that you could receive and be with and appreciate and enjoy. And this is, you know, also then elicits then, you know, what we call relax or in Buddhism

[45:11]

happiness or sukha or ease. Because the ease is you're not having to manipulate and control and chase after something to enjoy. It's already here. It's your own capacity to connect and be with and receive the gifts of each moment. So, this is about all for tonight. On Wednesday night, I want to explain... Excuse me. On Wednesday, you know, I'm going to continue talking about enjoyment. How necessary enjoyment is for wisdom or discrimination. You might think, oh, but if I'm enjoying things,

[46:13]

how could I have wisdom or, you know, understanding or seeing clearly? But actually, you will see more clearly when you are enjoying than when you're not. So, you know, you might think, oh, I need to get rid of the enjoyment in order to get the wisdom. But I'll explain this on Wednesday, so... Come back! And we will go more deeply into enjoyment. So, thank you very much. And please, you know, enjoy your breath, the heat, the cold, whatever happens to come. See what you can do about just being with your life each moment. Simple things. Thanks. I can't help it. I'm going to tell you one more story. One time, a group of us went up to Skyline College. You know, about 15 of us from Zen Center went with Suzuki Roshi in Skyline College.

[47:14]

Skyline, it's now Genjoji or something. It was an alternative school up there on Skyline Boulevard. Huh? Jikoji. And in those days, it was an alternative high school. So, we were going to do like a sashin, a one-day sitting with the kids at the high school. We got invited. So, we got there and Suzuki Roshi said, we need to clean. The kids couldn't believe it. Like, this is Zen? So, we were scrubbing the floors and I was in there. The kitchen was just a terrible mess with, you know, cleaning off the counters and scrubbing and, you know, mopping. And, you know, then we were using, you know, the Zen vacuum cleaner. You know, the one with no attachments. Anyway. Did I hear a ssss? Anyway.

[48:17]

We did this. We did about four hours of cleaning and then, you know, we had lunch. By then, it was time for lunch and then, you know, we had some sitting in the afternoon. And at one point, Suzuki Roshi said to the students, he said, you want to save the world but you can't even put your shoes straight. You know, you can't even, you know, like, who cares about shoes? Oh, you take off your shoes and you leave them there. And wherever they happen to be left, you don't have them, you don't put them together or put them any place. You don't, like, why would you bother? No, you want to save the world. And you can't even put your shoes some place? A couple of years ago, Green Goats, the Eno, said to me, who takes care of the guest students, that these three women had just left who were the most adamant,

[49:21]

proponents of conscious living, you know, recycling, organic, you know, and Green Goats was never doing enough and, you know, you need to do more, you should be doing this. And she said, their rooms that they left behind were the messiest, dirtiest, filthiest rooms that anybody had ever left. This is our tendency, you know, I'm going to save the world and you need to this and you should that and then, what about just picking up after yourself? You know, and so, what about just, you know, rather than controlling and making this happen or that happen or they should this or I should that or I mustn't, you know, what about just taking care of the things that you're doing? And there's this deep enjoyment possible

[50:25]

in being with, responding to, resonating with, being moved by and touched by the things of our life and the people, our own bodies, our own beings. So, I hope you can and I encourage you to, you know, enter into this kind of sweetness. It's a kind of sweetness in our life that we can have and enjoy. Thank you.

[50:55]

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