1991.01.10-serial.00087

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the commentary or you just want to talk about in our meditation
honey that's right hand
have you know but i mean do you want my blog commentary posted you want my just my zantac
what could happen
well i made the political commentary really paid them and just think it's going to him in for my point of view at least it's a terrible thing when sunday
is not willing to listen to other people
and we'd rather do what it was what he or she thinks
our without regard to what other thing
and we're going to do that and change and would rather do that a tremendous cost in lives then change in their own gain
hmm
and i think that you know in this case is to such leaders
two different inside to seem to be both like that
and
new president bruce it i don't care what the american people congress things i know what i'm going to do
and mr hussain seems to have taken the same time view and they are both rather than of that belief in that rather than listening to what others think and considering what others think i wish your believed
and however much they both like to blame the other their purse
i have tremendous responsibility
i'm but anyway it then it does seem to have in in ironically enough like the earthquake perhaps you know right now for some of us at least a kind of tenderness into our lives in
the
a kind of renewed appreciation for
ah
life itself in some way
ha and it's encouraged us to seek out our friends and down
to reassure i loved ones and that kind of activity
but anyway it soon term for business
so i'm a highly with that in mind i guess what i wanted to
i talk about tonight is
something about is to say something about listening and
receiving
and in that sense not always knowing
what to do and not always been so sure about what sir right
because it does seem to me that for a
if we are to have a new world order or even a new you know personal order
where which where we can get our own life change
we need to be able to listen in some way
ha that you know our leaders are
our president doesn't seem to be willing to do
so far anyway
i'm not an hour it just is another aside but in i'm not necessarily i'm planning to go to the march this weekend and demonstration then it's not so much because i think necessarily it's going to change anything but i it's more inline with what i was just saying about bug
a nice opportunity to get together with friends
and share some concern and compassion and one through one another
how so
i think that's a pretty nice thing to do

ha anyway

i'm trying to remember the names of the principles in the i wanted to tell you tonight and i can't
right them
one of them as as intention in nonsense and i'm trying to remember those teacher surface name minutes it's scope me so but the story is am
that's a disciple as the master
what is the way
i think in that sense you know the way to go bad things
how from a certain point of view are you know classically is it has something to do with what is the way the the dow what is the order of things are the way things work
how what is the way and the teacher answered everyday mind how is the way
ah everyday mine doesn't seem like anything special and it seems like every day mind is rather
you know we experience in everyday mind fair degree of confusion or
frustration anger sorrow pain a sorry confusion
it seems an
it doesn't seem like much of an answer perhaps they decide on this case that it wasn't much of an answer anyway his next question was how can i obtain it
and that's where the usual for us to want to do
to have the answer
and know what to do
how can i get it how can i have this everyday mind
and the teacher answered that course and as soon as you tried to attain it you'll lose it
as soon as you try to
ha have the answer
that kind of that degree of certainty and sureness
ha that degree of knowing and grasping and holding on to something
when you do that or you lose it you lose everyday mind
as you lose your capacity to respond to things as they come up into
you'll lose the capacity for your mind and body to absorb experience and respond to experience
have its own
ha and so the
december was rather
you know confused at that point if i tried to obtain it i lose it then what shall i do
and the teacher said something like i can't remember exactly but it's it's something like
you know let go
are you could say
i'm
no
something similar to what i said it's beginning of the meditation that meditation is a time to stop trying to grasp
ah everything and know everything and figure out everything
and let your body and mind absorb
digest
ah what's happened
and see what comes of that led their right in mind be moved by the energy of things
see if you can open yourself to
experience
an opening yourself means there's the kind of in like we've all been experiencing a kind of inner turmoil
ah because we can't grasp
ah anymore we can't be sure
ah anymore what to do on a way to
how to be
what the meaning of this is
and although in our then in this case then we don't know what
the fact of art in making this effort to open in to open to events and to observe events we don't know what our response will be or what we will ah
do what will come of that
but we should make this kind of effort
so this is this is a rather different effort then
where it's curious that this is also a kind of effort to bed it's a different kind of average and the effort to grasp every day mind how do i obtain everyday minder
no and so there's a quality in this kind of afraid of letting go
and yet this takes a kind of effort or
without effort the natural tendency is to close the so-called in a natural tendency although we also have a real wish to open into grow and to absorb things and to respond
also our tendency is just to close down
and it takes in some real effort to
not to just close down in the face of
terrible events
our in to take this kind of time to
breathe and to settle in some cell and the tour physical being
and be with our breath the whether physical sensations
and be with the
allow the inner turmoil and they're shifting around
of our been

and this isn't something that
are you know to some extended happens naturally bed
on the other hand it might be just as natural to close down

huh
as this kind of story there also refers to
and what i have been talk about everyday mind is the way
it also is a kind of
ha you might say
you know it's so in a certain way a kind of sacred
and it's also kind of you know assurance
and it's curious that we don't
no tend to trust herself in that way
and
the irony of it is it is it the people who who do believe in themselves so strongly in a sense you know have this kind of in a misplaced belief with their mind is the way
ah and others of us are always daring
and not sure we can trust our own response to things is it is it right
ah is it ok
how is it you know okay for me to be me
and we have in that sense of course a deep wish for it be okay for me to be me
ah that's the way i put it sometimes to myself
we'd like that and and yet somehow we can't we have trouble believing that it's really all right
ah for me to be me nora take know how and sometimes is said to it's very important for a tree to be a tree
turn
taxing carbon dioxide it gives up oxygen would provide shade
ah here's his certain vitality to it and it makes a kind of offering to the world
and there's a tremendous sincerity in a tree i've been itself just been a tree
can their source of course a kind of vulnerability
in a tree being a tree or
ah i'm flower been a flower and i scuse me i forgot to put the flowers on the altar
jewish about some flowers for us to
cheer and i should be up here were written
sir offerings

but you can see like with the flowers that they have that kind of
hello in a sense you know it's harder for us but they have that kind of willingness to be what they are
and to after the to make the opera that they have to offer the world
and after a while
they know they will wilt
and they also have than that kind of they're not just because they are wilting that because they're in existence they have a certain vulnerability
things can come along and step on them are cut them up
and in spite of that kind of vulnerability they are uneasiness
they are what they are
anywhere in the same way of course it's important that a person
is a person
and that we can each of us be who we are
and
make the offering that we have to offer to the world
ah whether or not
ah you know in some
big story ah
we can affect in our global events
i in just a way with legs to we have to make the offering that each of us has to make
ha
and
it's important that were willing to do that and willing to be
the person that we are

so every day mind is the way gives this is a way to remind ourselves
that at some level are in some way we can trust our own being our own mind
and that this is a birthday you know in a certain sense to source or bar difficulties and problems but it's also than the
answer or resolution are
the resounding of our everyday kinds of problems and the source of our
deeper kinds of creativity and sustenance
our peace and and harmony and tranquility are all also an everyday mind
but you know of course are like in the story if you try to
i say to your mind what have you done for me lately
fits doesn't seem self sustaining your mind is probably not going to come forward with you know something to offer you
no way of what you were looking for and somehow we have to in that sense
take the time to
in a way settle into everyday mind
our look into everyday mind
and certainly we wouldn't say to our own mind in that sense
you're not given enough satisfaction lately you're not giving me the kind of experience that i want you to give me in if you done i'm going to beat you up
you know that wouldn't work very well
if you were to in so my punish yourself for not providing adequate nourishment and sustenance or whatever pleasures you wanted

i put anyway this kind of so this kind of statement is of course in nz in known as a con are a kind of puzzle and it is a kind of than phrase or expression you can use
ah with yourself you know throughout the day if you want
when you're uncertain you can bring it up what is ah
everyday mind
ha as soon as you tried to attain it or you lose it
and in this story you know there's not anything outside of everyday mind for you to go off and sick and are some kind of a special experience or
in our secret teaching
our special understanding some sorry
there's nothing outside of
every day mind
that you should be you know if you think i'm tired of this or ah this is too much for me
still in that experience itself is our
he was something to sustain us at the same time that
it may be something troubling
so in a simple way now we say sometimes hindrances become the opportunity for practice
ah the opportunity whereby how we can more deeply trust her on being
ah and settled into her own being an express
ourselves like a flower
he expresses itself in the world
has so we'll have
no various ways we can
are things we might do each of us
hum
it's not as though there's some you know right
or good response to things
in the vietnam war ii we said at tassajara
so we didn't dare doing in demonstrating their
are you just get up in the morning and went to meditation and had breakfast and
learn about our lives in a peaceful
and harmonious situation
ha no been trying to be you know do our meditation and our work and a friend one another
and support one another's ah effort
how and you know other times we may find there's something we want to i do in the world
as sometimes you know there's his sayings you know insane people will say having a cup of tea i stabbed the war
so we know if nothing else we can have a cup of tea
like that
i have peacefully and quietly
and we can experience or
our everyday mind and the
the depth of our everyday mind
which we don't always have an opportunity to
experience
huh
as so much the time we'd tried to make herself over in the kind of in according to some image that we think is a good person are
in our spiritual person or an enlightened person whatever we're trying to make herself over
so that kind of effort will be
a mistake it's not
i realize in everyday mind
ha so we need this kind of assurance everyday mind is they re
and we need somebody to
you know tell us this secret

sometimes we need somebody to tell us
how over and over again

ha so that we can more and more deeply trust in our own gain
i'm been here we are
through and through
hi
could you hear me talking i wasn't talking very loud tonight huh
no brian you didn't say anything
oh just you've got a little bit here and there her a ride
well you'll have to say something you know serve like you know there's an example is it right to be you and say something and i can't hear her can you talk louder

i just sit in there is an example right of you know that are right for you to be you and not be able to hear and then you know put that out in the world
because it is hired to here and so there's especially when the hater goes on in
and if you say something or today
i'm capable of it

i'm going to turn this off now so the rest of this is off the record
i think i've told you the story before bed
nunca given by so that student pastor was practicing meditation end
why are you practicing meditation
why perhaps he asked what are you doing
what are you doing and he said and practicing meditation
and the teacher said why are you
practicing meditation
can he said i want to become buddha
i want to be enlightened
and
get time the teacher went away and came back or later and had a little tail and i guess the
traditionally the tiles are
polished a little bit after they commanded account for a roof down
so the teacher is polished live in the thin bezels trying to say where are you doing he said and polish in this time on the teacher said
ah and then he has to get a while you way punishing that totally said i want to make it into a jaw
well you can the point already i say
the responses like glasses excuse me that you can make a tail into a jewel by polishing it
and it teaches ideas and you can't become a buddha by doing meditation
isn't so one of the know important stories in the surface and tradition
and it has many kinds of ideas to it
ha
first off perhaps this idea of
know that meditation is not it is it time to set aside gaining ideas and strategic mind or and whiskers since we spend so much of our
time
and effort involved in a kind of strategic mind and
ah economic sort of thinking our i don't know what you call that at wayne what will be better
you know how will i get ahead faster arm
and the very thought of enlightenment if i practice meditation and if i do this and if i do that then something so we have this kind of if and then kind of thinking
oh maybe if i get married of things to be better if i get divorced that will help or
if i quit my job or if i get another job or
so many different things and of course the one of the interesting things he said
we have no way to check back and see if we integrate decision
cause we only can we only live in one life and we can't be live in to alternative lives and try out in a way i have been better to move during meditation instead of trying to sit to our we've been better to sit still instead of movie nor
you know what would have been the better thing to do
whether it's my decisions are big decisions are we get married or don't get married her
there's no way to check and see which will be there
which will in which would have been the better way and are we are we headed in the right durations of the things come out or right in the end

so i remind you sometimes that spiritual practice is not like a kind of insurance policy
if you do spiritual practice than things will come out all right in the end it doesn't seem to make much difference you know
or take version his book it was kind of funny he
he spoke the mind of clover he he tells a story about he spent many years and he was he happened to be studying buddhism or zen in japan when the war came the second world war and so he was arrested and put in prison and he spent most of the war in prison in japan
ah and at one point when the war was going badly for the japanese state and the guards came to the prisoners and they said you know if we lose the war were going online i view up and shoot you
so you don't take it so great that you know things are going good for us
and this was came depressing for them
they've been in either stuck and prisoner and you know if the japanese wonder if they lost that going to get shots so
they were really moping around and
there was a rather glum silence and then there
perhaps there's one in every group at the one fellow who is kind of upbeat about things generally he he came into the cafeteria jam or wherever there was a number of prisoners who should have gathered together and he said
ah okay i guess you heard it
it's the japanese there's the war we're going to get lined up and shot
yeah so
and he said well you know what in a hundred years it's not going to make any difference
the diagnosis is i'm afraid and it was laughed

hmm
but somehow they know the basic thrust of meditation or you might say the point or what one gets out of practice is not that one
becomes a buddha or somehow words or disasters exactly bed
one is more perhaps more prepared
ha
in a very simple and direct way to be hard to be in in settled in one's life engaged in one's life
our in a very as well as simple an indirect way and to be present
and respond to things
it may not make everything
you may not be able to fix everything are correct things or make things right right
you'll be able to be with her good experiences and bad experiences
and you won't spend so much time or looking the other way are looking for how you might be in a better place than you are
instead of spending all that time looking for a better place you'll be able to use
what i talked about earlier your creativity
in the present moment
so this is a big shift in the use of one's creativity and the usual way we think about creativity of
you know a use your idea of creativity is how do i create
we i did something new
and we don't think so much of creativity as
they just our life itself is a kind of creativity
it sort of the difference between
you know some people think of
i like a constant hershey who paints and now he paints so
in a big burst jokes
he has a book out called brush mind end
there's a picture of him there where he has his mop for his brash
and he has the paper added have learned the picture them with his mob
not in the paper
with a big struggle
and so badly
sometimes people look at that and
you know what end you might think that to be creative you need to have lots of color
but for people who do that than their creativity is is even in its simplest thing of one line one stroke their creativity is still there
and it's and they don't feel than anything lacking because they don't have red and green and blue and all the other colors
and it's a good in some ways it may be in in a certain sense
harder to be creative but on the other hand it's much easier
ah
it's harder in a certain sense now to have
an infinite number of possibilities are materials but on the other hand you can get lost with that and it's much more complex in some ways to use others other matures
rather than taken something very simple
come
the as only way used the with ears or creativity we started we say when my life now is not very good i wonder how i can make it better
what should i change
ah and and then you know rather than changing you know in a in a more basic way the way i'm going about living
we tend to look at it more like do i changed me where i live where i work my family etc where i go to church or so we think about the kind of returned to think about the kind of changes that will make it that can improve level rather than
changing the way that we go about things changing where we are the way we do
her so meditation is a term
yeah that we can write will make it meditation is that we can
set aside that kind of strategic thinking in the kind of gaining ideas that we might ordinarily have an if they come up we can
use the opportunity to set them aside or to ignore them or or to acknowledge them in let them go
and not get any way not get too caught up in
ah yes then kind of thinking well if i can just do this then it will be so much better or if i can sit still then that will be a good sign and then
he could do that kind of practice you know we never arrive
if we have that kind of like will never arrive
i never ever seen her life or is preparing for the life that's going to come when we behave in the proper way
and when we do the right thing or sorry
so at some point we should be
we should be in her life
put you think
i say we said i mean isn't it what you want
rather than to be projecting into the future on the time
so it's a little bit like you know
so it's employee if there was so what was this quality be it means that we have to dream things that are a dream things up to do and we stumble upon things
i took my and tells another story or which is in this same book i think the in peace
i use his story last sunday when i gave a turkey being out saying he may have heard it i i don't know so you may have been there bed
and
in that story
he talks about a woman who does the meditation and reciting but his name or means to me a amitabha buddha homage me to have a better in japanese they say namo amitabha tsunami neighbor to normal neighbors to and there's another score in know that instead of in a never made a bit so they say almost a load of situ
she may be familiar with because there's a counter and hear that they come up during the street you wanna come to buddhist meaning etc gameo getting a kill it and so they can be very powerful practice and it's quite interesting though that and where this particularly women
you can get very concentrated in
ah
actually do
to a little aside
the i know i met i was driving back from tessa heroin time and i was coming until one to one down in salinas there was a guy hitchhiking so i picked him up
and it turned out his truck had broken down he was a been driving a big semi trailer truck which is a ken ken kenworth at kenilworth or kenworth they weren't that answered tracks and
so at the time i had a shaved head or most shaved head and he said are you a contact or
the judas go a prison the army and said no i'm a buddhist and he said okay i'm a buddhist to a bad floored me you know this kid off the freeway right well it turned out that he has been practicing your home and gecko and and this is a young men about
twenty and one of the things that they tell you and if they cost you in the street or you know if you get to their meetings or whatever they tell you that you can have anything you want by doing this channing
whenever you want you can have money what money you can many one house you can impelled so you can get whatever you want by doing the channing
and it actually works here
it actually works and maybe in the long and you might want in light minnery even the lung and you might want to not be bothered by one and all these things in my email you might want to want what i was just talking about like to be actually in your life
and the and not be chasing after one thing or another
to her failed in february you might want that events in and probably the chen he would help me do that too
but on the whole day emphasize the and know getting the material goods so the first thing he he had met this woman and she was cheating no mayo and gokyo and she said if you want me to be your girlfriend you'll have to change me a hurrying again so that was his first success
and after that he kept it and he got his truck and his kin with track and various things and then his chin and fallen off enormous his truck broke down
so you're only as good as your last year to minutes and i guess
yeah so then
but anyway i started the ticknor hotels and about this was women who chance to name a bit and number or never made a bit you know me but soon she she is and she'd done this for years eight ten years and she was very severe so-called religious about it very determined
and she was very energetic about it in very disciplined she'd do it for an hour day in and i think even maybe twice a day for an hour a day so she said and she had this little her little altered at home and in a very dedicated practice and but you know the funny thing was that it hadn't changed her and all those years
since this is where the creativity comes in
there's something besides just this kind of pushing ahead but anyway
one of her friends decided to teach a lesson so one day he came over and he knew that when she was going to be doing a meditation practice so he knocked on the door while she was meditating and he said mrs room this mrs whoa and she was determined just to continue meditation back to snap interrupted and she kept chanting never made a bit too
gnome in britain and the president but the person wouldn't stop knocking on the door and calling her name mrs were mrs whoa
and then so only after about ten minutes of as she was she just slipped out
flew up the hand of later feet with to the door opened the door what are you doing here calling my name like this and he says to you pay me just you know i've really been kind and and fifteen minutes think the bournemouth feel you've been here
his name for ten years

but somehow the
you know she had some in some way i used her
her to know her the the kind of the kind of you know in a sense competitive minder
or accomplishment mind you know strongly enough
with it there wasn't any opportunity for her to stumble upon something or to dream up some other way have been no and she she was someone who in a certain sense had the misfortune to be able to do that can impact is successfully
most of us go to do some practice like meditation and we can't do it
and we can't do it the way that we've been doing everything else are they think the way that we think life should be done
right
i want to do this meditation practice well i would be a success at this meditation practice the to meditation purchases to be very determined i need to be very energetic i should be but i do meditation they should be very concentrated i should be calm and collected
and then when we can't do it like that and successfully are you know this is a big problem but it's also our great a fortune good fortune
and at that time you know if you continued to meditate
then you had do have a chance to stumble upon some other way of approaching things urgent dream up another way of living
the or in sort of the dark about what to do it i can't do it the way that i know how to do things
in the way that i'm good at doing things if i can't do it that way they were way am i going to do it this is where your creativity comes in
in a certain sense you know i'd say your creativity but it's not in know obviously creativity isn't exactly your possession right
well so creativity you have to give it a chance to
you have to give yourself or your being or he gives some time to come up with something
ha and so
use the again usually we think about so creativity and had dreaming something up and use the you know oftentimes our dreams are in a certain sense or and mr to dream up in a particular kind of daydreaming and the night dreaming were dreaming up something that is not is not
related to necessarily related to what we're actually doing where we actually are who we actually are and we dream of in a been another kind of person or another and to some extent you know there's certain kind of in order to be in another kind of place or and
another kind of body and so we dream up like that rather than in a certain sense using the materials
know that are there at hand and dreaming up what to do with the actual ingredients so to speak that we have okay
hey so i been used the the kind of a
example of the difference between if you if you want to cook a meal and you have to dream up what to make
you're on one hand it's it's so again it's simple if you can use anything or and in your dream up
and you can you can imagine anything that you might want
and then
but then the problem is that if you when you do that you have to then and if you actually come up with a plan that way then you have to figure out how to get all those ingredients
learn whether it's money or time or whatever it turns out to be it's rather difficult to actually go and she made all those ingredients and as things that you dreamed up and make everything fit into you know what you dreamed
but if you will actually look more closely at what's already there
in the refrigerator in the pantry and jars sir how much time u s they have
ah you ah or are you go to the store and you see what's actually in the summer
then you dream up what to do with what's available to you
this is a different than different kind of creativity you see then the these are two different kinds of creativity
but we shouldn't think are you know abandoned our creativity because we can't do it in the first way and they actually it's much more useful for us and in our lives to to use their creativity to take the materials and ingredients and an actual events and people in her life and
our own bodies and that kind of time we have a new with the way that were able to go about things and dream up had to work with all of that material all those ingredients
this is very this thing can be very powerful kind of dreaming
whereas the other kind of dreaming you may tend in dream up stamping my dear we might have and then but there's no way to bring it in to fruition really
so that guy of gaming you know will be a kind of
draining
if we do you know too much of it
huh
i was going in
know certain things happened to me and it took no years of meditation practice to find out
we are some very simple things
mean i am
no for in we have some traditional meaning from side to side
ah when we sit down to come to a stable upright sitting posture
ah and i did that for about two years before i realized that i could actually experience my body while i was doing it
thanks the kind of fear my back
the further it was just some kind of exercise you put your body here he put your body there then you put it here you put it there and that's which is both but actually you can actually feel and sense
that's a very simple example of bringing your your awareness
your capacity to dream your capacity to experience to bring it into the present moment and into the present activity and ash then you know be doing the present activity in a sense in a creative fashion
when they i founded under i had been for years i had it turned out i didn't even notice know it but it turned out i had a conception that my back was in a because the zen tradition and talk about sitting up straight so i said i
i keep my back straight and then the best was something that was like this that a bible in the friend
the banquets in place in them but the front moved
in one day and occurred to me that both the back in the front can breathe
listens very interesting this is after six years or eight years of meditation
since how long it takes and these things keep happening no i didn't figure that out center and know how long do you have to try to crawl your breath before he find out that your breasts can be many more places and in your move through your body and many different ways that has never occurred to where the own
the way that you find that out is because you you have to let go of here you know if you already have in mind which you're going to accomplish
and how your breath goes
and up you can accomplish making it that way but then you want but then when we will have the opportunity to experience something that hadn't occurred to you a sense in it was in that sense they'd be on your conception he and you're thinking
they find out that no rent there's more to it than you thought it is more to your life and just a simple thing i'm breathing

so again it's just a very simple
ah example
charlotte silver who teaches a sensory awareness work
i read a a conifers i recently in a pressure that i received and it said that she was talking about her teacher who was named else a good low
and she said when she would go to these classes the teacher with tug
and she would just have this tremendous feeling of this the teachers talking for me she's saying exactly what i feel exactly where i think exactly what i believe and i would just feel this wonderful can a reporter with her and and then i'd look at her and she would look away from me
you should special
hence he said after a year of going to classes she was looking at me and then and then i did something and she said
at last a real movement
he have been posing all this time
this is a bad sensory awareness working so
and then she said after that things became much more difficult
her and her real work began
here's something something happened something she came by the into her been an entire movement in some way away it wasn't just putting yourself in some place
for during her breath you know
the way that she knew how to do it should finally came into her bed in some way that are teachers saw
and then she could find out how much you know how much more there was this kind of work to visit to do with a
you know so i one hand it's you know it's a wonderful something happens
her and you come on you stumble and something you are you you come into your been in on the other hand are you might find and sometimes it's kind of overwhelming to think of my gosh how long i've been doing it and such an awkward way or such a limited kind of way
me
that's a meditation is some time to
no
see if we can't enter into this other way have been away that is not so are competitive our campus money oriented or
an unlimited where we experienced things
the way that we think they should be that we can have that we can some may be open and receptive or
and actually be present and for events that
and we noticed that things are not the way we think
when we find it out and we find out the way things are in our own experience
and it is already when we come to our experience with some openness and in the sensor kind of creativity
then we'd find out that already in are being there's tremendous depth
and compassion
and a kind of wisdom
and this is our then you say quite different in ah
i'm going to work in a way that i get in there
i'm going to chant the name of buddha without interruption or i'm going to follow my bed letter and eruption i'm going to have these goals for myself
i'm going to succeeded this practice

oh
lenders
you know so the various kinds of so-called rules or directions for meditation you know we should have some way it will help if we have some way to understand how the rules or the suggestions are the directions help us do that kind of make that kind of effort
so for instance know the direction to ah
you know sit up straight or the direction to follow your breath
it's not just something to to be accomplished but in the practice of that will find out what is the usefulness of that how does that help us come into the moment
so to sit up straight and or was like hey it's a little bit and like a cave yoga asana her posture
ready to actually take some ongoing awareness and attention and concentration to be able to do that when our mind wanders than her posture goes
or to follow the breadth it's the same kind of thing you'll be able to part of fall in the birth is notes so much that you followed but did you you'd have something to do so that you notice when you're not doing it
well it doesn't mean that it's an accomplishment to be able to follow your breath in a moment after moment it might just mean that your awareness everything is so tight and and narrow and you've got such a grip on your mind and what it wasn't appointed the meditation to be able to have you
if you know an grip your mind in such a wonderfully in a tight fashion
so we should know it will help a few kind of remind yourself in some way or another in a water
what the point in a sense is and not make this kind of
no mistake about what the point is and be hard on yourself or you know what's safe or not been able to accomplish something that wasn't the point anyway right
which but
hey
can even if you you know are a failure than it becomes your know and since a kind of you know you will have to find out how to live with failure
and there will be just as important is no in terms of an ingredient and finding out what to do with your ingredients is anything else and you might have to kind of there's many times in her life we have an ingredient like failure or so whatever it is and we have to sit with it for quite awhile be
for we know what to do with it
in her innocence but we're going to make of it
can then one day we dream up what to do
and it actually that was our friend all along
for the start no companion

huh

that's about all i have to say tonight
is there anything that any you would like to bring up the talk about

i

re

right
right you have to do that

person
i'm a pretty good
donna
now he said you know
that's a point of view mean

thursday nights out that said

huh

huh
huh

has

right
yeah
he's round for cash
the guy was
call
cash
came
the i think for some people just like that

hell
you know where it seems like you know i mean
you know i'm a ginny does worse their legal work you know but and writing and when the prevalence of right and is just to keep writing
and so
and i can im kontext all of the basically has led to say to yourself
in different writers i've talked to have different ways now to censor themselves
and if you and if you in that situation if you were to censor something you'd city for the paper in your like nothing would happen because it's not coming out you know something acceptable
it seems strange thing that's coming out that's not acceptable
in it's nice if we have some activities in her life where in the not acceptable can come out
and there's some chance for it to then become acceptable now this is another kind of obvious they know psychologically or whatever this is another kind of metaphor the way meditation is
the we can that's another way of saying that and a rather than being accomplished minnery and it or goal or in it or whatever did
you know everything in the context of meditation whatever experience we have is acceptable

there's a chris another skill and bobs and writing and things at times and meditation at times there's a kind of editing
are you know policy

i mean you know at some point you you just because you do that writing doesn't mean that you force the people to read it
huh

yeah
well that has its value to your ideas minute
you know
they obviously doesn't put oliver what she writes into you know the books that you know go up to the public
i was different context for different things
but certainly if we do know i i arts are tenancy or strong tendency is to over his to over at it
ahead of time and then consequently nothing comes out
and because i can't say the right thing i'm going to say anything
thing
and so
it's it's it's useful for us whether it's meditation or painting or whatever list if their some arena of our life where we can let it come out when we're not censoring to help time
and we can be surprised and
and we can
the unacceptable remit the unacceptable

and then sometimes we can you know work that into something maybe the in a black base and pink hair is perfect for
you know next week navy there's a story or somebody else's story
suddenly it's there's the current exploited fits in
i maybe you just paint over it
her nose
i do well i appreciate your efforts tenure practice and here thank you