1988.12.18-serial.00066

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so are you are they
happy people who have done your christmas shopping
how did you come today thinking that i would inspire you with
what to get
i'll give you my i'll give you my suggestion it'll header
after the attack

i find them
i think i find the holiday season i think about like everyone mean
i dig it rather anxious
about ten
getting presents for people
am i talking to the right people in do have that kind of feeling
new and i get concerned about
in know whether it's going to be good enough i reflect well enough upon me you know that's anything
ha
and and then insist i went to a store yesterday and it's so crowded and everybody's running around trying to get things and
ha
it's very tiring
bakshi eye on the other hand i am i like the holidays and i like i liked them because i think it is something about the spirit of the holidays
which is rather
a wholesome her heart warming
well and the kind of wishes that we make for one another at the holiday season is or the touching
and that we actually do have this time of year to think of others and to think of peace in the world and the wellbeing of others
but people that we know closely and people that we don't know it all
so i thought today i would talk some about her
well what day is the goes by those names bedtime about kindness and in buddhism
kindness and compassion sympathetic joy
how could anybody

it seems that allowed the time and me think about buddhism or talk about this and we think more about having realization or enlightenment or
some understanding your inside
and we don't
we don't always see the aspect in buddhism of kindness or compassion
and in some added sometimes have been given kind of a bad name and then
in places
it says that loving kindness is it's not really wanted part of the eightfold path
it's not one of the five cardinal virtues and it's not one of the seven limits of enlightenment so maybe we should just dispense with it
let's get onto the things that are more relevant to our i will salvation our liberation
ah but anyway i think it's rather
short sighted and not not at all really conducive to
the kind of mine it's receptive
or the mind it's actually able to observe things as they are

ah so to start with i back to
i invite you
how to take a rest and refuge in your own body and mind
in your own hard
i say if you can come into
and abide in your experience
in your body in your breath inhaling
and exhaling
and you'll notice
the sides visible objects
colors
sounds

ah you'll notice bodily sensations
have your weight
on the floor on the cushion on a chair
had you notice
thinking sides judgments evaluations
what kind of talk is it today not very interesting
heard it all before
or whatever you know you think
how are you think i'm always think about you might notice thoughts about it plans to go christmas shopping your
aren't you should have gotten
what you might have gotten but you still might get
what she'll be doing for the holidays which you might do next year
and you'll notice
her feelings
things you like things you dislike pleasant
some things are pleasant other things are unpleasant
and then there's a whole range of emotions of boredom and frustration and joy
equanimity
anger
craving
hey have you make this kind of
when we make this kind of
ah in a sense effort to come into our experience to dwell and abiding are intimately in our experience
this already as a kind of kindness
it's a kind of a receptivity to
our own experience my own my body my mind
my thoughts and feelings
this already is the basis for kindness
and how in a very immediate since we can practice kindness
one of the things that we notice when we do this too is
how we noticed that there's some experiences that we have some sights and sounds that we like a pleasant and we want them to continue
and we notice other experiences that are unpleasant we rather they stopped
and when we get a very much involved at all in stopping the unpleasant ones getting the present ones to continually can vary
quickly become quite frustrated
and upset because it's not possible

everything doesn't come out
the way we wanted to

having just comes up also in
are in relationship we want to make someone else happy
ah and
somehow it's not quite possible they still no matter how much we do for someone
how we can never do enough
the nests and somehow that the person we're doing it for happens to be someone who
he's already happy
and content
but this this you note of chris came up around there was that whole series of books for women who love too much and so on
but you don't have to be a woman to do that i know about that
a fact i spent a good deal on my life trying to do that
make other people perfectly happy and never make any mistakes never have anybody at all angry with me i think i'm still doing it
maybe i just call it buddhism now
huh
the

anyway i think it's useful to make this kind of observation or inventory to come into your experience very carefully intimately observe your own body and mind how things happen how things work
what's really possible what's not possible
when you do this carefully then when we did is carefully were no longer card
an entangled and cried the same way i'd trying to produce a pleasant visual experiences are good sounds or the right kind of thought
and we can be more accepting of
that they'll be pleasant things that pass away and unpleasant things that persist
you must have noticed this
so what is your attitude then
and what added to do you find yourself taking
ah given this fact
i do have an attitude of resentment
no matter what i do it's not enough
what's wrong with you what's wrong with the universe
no that's one possibility or
a kind of bitterness
ha
how'd you have some someone
compassion
no dobbins angie said them
out of all those who practice
diligently for many years sample get enlightened and some won't
several a good students
what's the important point then
where'd you got enlightened or that you practice diligently
k so he says the important point is to practice with sincerity and wholeheartedness
and then whether you get enlightened or not takes care of itself
that sort of extra
are given the fact that we can't how we don't have that much japan
capacity to control the phenomena of i live
then it seems to behoove us to rather than having bitterness your cynicism more resentment it the hoses to have some warmth or compassion
kindness towards ourself first of all

ah there's a classic formulation
cause it's used in buddhism may i be happy
and maybe may i be peaceful may i be free from suffering
and how we can make this kind of wish
how for herself
this kind of wish you see is not based on
in may i have the capacity to control phenomena
may i have the capacity to produce colors and soundness and thoughts and emotions that please me and make me happy
this is may i have a happiness it is not dependent on my ability to control phenomena produced pleasant and stop unpleasant phenomena
may i have a happiness did
his beyond that
may i be happy may i be peaceful
is the piece for based on and know i never get upset
i'm a perfect person
may i be peaceful even know
i have at times disturbing emotions

may i be paid from suffering it's free from
the suffering that comes mostly this is a the suffering of in tormenting myself that i'm not matter

may i enjoy well being
may i enjoy
is of well-being may i enjoy long life
may i have composure
as so we can make this kind of wish and i think we all wish this way
but it's very confusing sometimes
as sometimes when we want something very much
and we think if we have it it'll make us happy
how we might do something that is actually not making us happy
do you know
some vapor one but sometimes we want something so ridsdale to get it or we lie i will just for
and then we can get what we wanted but actually they not happy then

so i think it's important the news for to remind ourselves this way may i be happy
may i enjoy well being
may i be peaceful
in a way it's to remind us of what is our what's really important to us
and what we're finding capable of practicing
which is quite different then
ah just having pleasant experiences and avoiding unpleasant ones

ah when as soon as we make this kind of wish to we notice and now we can wish this than for others
i just as i wish to be happy may others be happy
i'm a a others be peaceful
may i be free from suffering
i just as i wish to live a long life i wish others alumni

ah my teacher suzuki where she used to talk
often about soft mind
soft mind as opposed to hide mind
hide hide mind is too
you know you can tell sometimes when your mind is hard
a man or speaking
now there's not much space there to actually see anything i observe anything i've been with anyone or even to be with yourself aren't they
i'd mind has added to it's leg ah well no one else cares why should i
and
ah if you were mad at me then i'm going to be a me back
i won't let you get away with that
and hive mind gets in your objectives and then wants to get them
any cost so okay
and we understand our world used to be no
our society is tends to be sort of high minded
but it's not just our society i heard a run to poster recently
someone
i know said he was with is one and half year old son he was attempting to teach us and something about
ah enjoying what you have
and his son loves strawberries and so there's a big bowl of strawberries
and his son was a would have a strawberry in each hand and run his mouth and be trying to get you know another one in
and grabbing more this is that antwon and a half and i do think society has that much effect on this person
so his father was trying to teach him wanted a time in why didn't you enjoy and appreciate one strawberry and then you can have another one
and he said his son began screaming
for more strawberries and a scheme and strawberries and you can see the strawberries in his mouth
while is screaming
so this is nuisance as
this is not just when to happy
this is perhaps you know this isn't exactly a hive nine the and at one can know this input this particular example but it's it's certainly no has several national some of mine that we may encounter
isn't there some way to have more of something it's good
the pill
even while we already have it
isn't there some possibility of of just prolonging this pleasant and then in stopping the unpleasant and having a and then producing a mind and awareness or
inside or something that they then just takes care of it from now on and then good things happened to us
and the bad things don't
i was reading recently about miller rape and he he wondered here's a great tibet and st you know many years ago almost a thousand years going to but em
one day he'd been meditating ms caribbean and kind of came to an uncertain when he was there he said german i've been a up in a grab for i don't see any food around
and there's no there's no fuel either my goodness i think i'll go up to get some word anyway
so he went out of his came to get some wedding there was as the room came up in his tremendous storm and every time he picked up the road is red blue open in their money he held his robe said he dropped the would
ah and then he said then to what have i been doing wrong
how come the redstone flux me like this and say
and then well as was thinking this is so rate from lack of food that he felt that in a faint in this now
anyway that now and then he corroborated be woke up
that j i i need my teacher
an easy
so he calls up as in his teacher appears in the clouds anyone says what's your problem
and so of nowhere but can do all that you know well heck
we can do it too
anyway i mentioned this soft mind because it to have a similar i think of it in certain it's in the same vein of what is the kind of mind that can be aware of things is capable of being aware and
in knowing insane understanding
the way things are the way i like works
and wet
what are what attitude to cultivate
saffron mind is also suzuki roshi talked about as you go along as a hive mind just wants to go from here to the object
from here to the destination that she's get their soft mind it's like being in the dark and you have to feel your way along
you don't know what to do you don't know where to go feeling angry or depressed or and is there some ready solution
you know you can adapt
now it's my like says feeling your way along
so too in that sense then it's like and this is this is a kind of kindness than two
to fill out what's actually happened how do things happen
how does anger arise how does fear come
what is it does it have any real basis

so hard mind is more simple but i know when i started practicing meditation after a couple of years i started getting really angry and then my first impulse was
i'm not going to have anything to do with this
you suppose that's an effective strategy
i'm not going to have anything to do with this and then it still comes around you know
and then you can take that that's a high minded attitude you sam neck and have anything to do with this that's my own anger but then i can say that to somebody else to i won't have anything to do with you

at that time
you can hold that attitude it takes a lot of energies in that attitude and then after i get tired some time and then the anger gets tatum
and the person is gonna get too long before you get tired
back
they'll call you on the phone
the right outside your house
now show up in your dreams
anyway soft mind so soft mind is the willingness to
to meet things into be with things
and i think this is a kind of kindness to
i bet this kindness than is also a wishing wishing ourselves happiness which and other's happiness and kindness or friendliness is to bestow benefits to give gifts
to give or even a little you know to give a smile
i find it so hard sometimes
and now and just to give a smile
but it's very powerful

and we touch each other in this way with smiles and gestures and kind words

as sometimes gifts and can have great power
when i was that tessa higher
and sissoko she was alive i had them other room one of the cabins therein
the doorstep of my cabin was about two feet from the ground
you know the earth is wearing away it's eroding even at tassajara
it's gone down about six inches just since we've been in there in the last twenty years
and in soon as we have to keep bringing in dirt and elena in but i'm so my cabin was the doorsteps a couple of feet down and then so i got some stones and can empower them up by the door taking some steps one day i was standing in my
carolyn says it was near them to remain remake me said you know in japan when repaired stones i'd better with people's graves
so when i say that
by has it reminds me of graveyards
and it doesn't it doesn't feel very good to me
and i thought gee ron i'm sorry
but i didn't know much about moving big rocks or anything and on and so i will go and then one day i saw him and he said you know that big stone outside the office and there was this big stone at said the up as women but he is to get them may i didn't grow up and sit on this stone
was kind of right be the most important stone and all of tessera big rock that this long and bet this high he said i'm having i'm having a power move it this afternoon in front of your cabin to replace those stones
i couldn't believe it
you know that somebody would do something like that and for me because i didn't think in much myself
and
i thought very little
but here was somebody who who seem to think a great deal and me or at least you know was willing have this done brought to my cabin
and sure enough that afternoon and i was in my cabin and there's this sound and this they were dragging this stone along in this big said metal
whenever metal tray cart behind a big truck and chain strahan long crunch crunch crunch and then they get outside my cabins day related over and then moved i really stands right and put it up there with is really nice
and then every time i stepped into my cabin has is nice solid stone stepan
and i don't know in each time i step on the stern is this reminder
ah that somebody someday thinks well at me to me
how thanks kindly and meet somebody appreciates me
or even if i don't

so this is just one example of a gift to bed
he know kind words and a smile as sometimes have as big an effect
as this kind of stone or
ah some other kind of gift

it said that there are many butchers to the practice of kindness or friendliness
i like
if when you practice and you'll be happy or you'll have good dreams new going to sleep
he'll also be
beautiful
you know
whereas ugliness i'm in anger you know makes us ugly
when practice kindness will become caravan
and of course than others benefit and then others will make us happy

i recently i was reading a talk by the that the dalai lama gibbs some years ago and he said i was a few years ago he said the older i get an employee for four now the more i devote my practice to kindness
ah and to practicing kindness and producing kindness
and when you practice kindness it extends out through the world
he practiced when we're angry
that through the world our friends and neighbors and so on
so in some way it's the
a simplest and most basic kind of practice to cultivate
an interesting they have caused these kind of kindness and patience and generosity are good will or something or our emotions that we can call to bed

and even in just the simple simplest ways
i find it you know for myself i find it discouraging that i haven't served the whole world yet i don't know i know worry about that's your thing i'd i'd send wish that i didn't put it end to the army service by now and ah a few other things you know about to you know have gotten rid of ads by now and now all kinds of things
and i don't seem to have done any of those things so i assumed to have to content myself with a whole different level of practice and kind for specific zippy
do you know what i mean and i think we're all in that situation
much as i buy to give you the answer to whatever the problem is
and i can't
oh i can offer you these kind of encouragement to practice kindness generosity even in small ways
and we have to remind ourselves that it's you know what in our own heart what comes from our heart and in a make make we make our best offering from the heart our best to action
and when we offered from our heart and then that's the best we can do
whether others appreciated enough or not you know it's a whole different matter
the fact that way that we make this effort
is all we can do
and relive it up to others were how they receive or accept or appreciate or don't appreciate
the offerings we make

i guess i want to talk just about a couple of right things one is
if you're interested in one way of cultivating our is too
examine as emotions arise as desire arises as krogan arises as needing is arises his anger and hate
if you want look at it and ask yourself
is there some male basis for it
if it's a person you like that person can you know mostly that we like somebody who's nice to us if they start being nice which is to write them know that mr they're now they're our enemy
and the person who doesn't treat us we are we so what they're not my friend

and even in the person that we like we can find some faults and even in the person we don't like we can find some virtue
so i encourage you to look carefully
what is the basis for liking for disliking
who is it that likes and dislikes
is there any real basis to the like into the disliking

if you look at it this way and also what is the basis of happiness
will you ever find happiness based on put an end to all unpleasant things and only have pleasant things come
were you ever find that kind of happiness
i don't think so

this has come into some by this kind of examination we come to some
solid place
will we actually can have happiness that is not dependent on phenomena
we have joy and kindness
which we extend to everyone and not just to someone we like i don't like and we extended to myself or even extend kindness to my own anger

after milarepa and teacher came
oh
and said
i think you're doing fine basically i don't know why you called to be
aren't you practicing virtuous things like you know aren't you already we arrived
i'm never went back to his cabin never found demons there are some of the story so there were seven
and so he told them to go away and they didn't they had damaged eyes as big as saucers
pick your eyes again and he told them to go away and then he said rob as long as they're here and they know a guy named pay so our teach them the dimer
thursday election and about dharma
and they hung around they stated in away
ah so then finally he said oh it's so nice of you to come today
i'm so happy to see if you really i will sit down and stare i'll i mean let's hang out together for bit and we can talk about things and you really ought to visit more often
and then pretty thin
they all an array
this is an example of i will kind of kindness is thing in terms of just my own demons

while the end today i want to offer you have a kind of a i gave you a kind of guided meditation
and you can take a little trip
and you can see what happens and then we want we can talk about later
if i'm i'll tell you ahead of time you know if when you go on this the road trip through a guided meditation you know
it it may or may not work well for you in also of us visualize things a little easier than others and so on so you just see what happens and and don't worry about how well you dare the guided meditation and
oh this is the a meditation that
i was that a treat recently in and we did this at one point
and i think it it was kind of useful and an interesting for me so i wanted to offer you

i'd so to start with
we're going to go from here we're going to
go right on your chair or air cushioning sabha time are going to go from here happened to the air
our like a magic carpet ride
we're going to
arise out of green gods look down
and
the area
hey maybe even a little bit higher where we can see
crossed the country and ocean and
in fact we can stay now the whole earth
they're round
and floating in space
huh

her problems
have when we look more closely
now after we've been here for a bit we're going to go each of us in our own a direction
to back into back to our home
our with a friend
our back to our job

someplace where are you
there might be some tensions or difficulties

so you come down out of the air on your
carpet
and arrive at this place
and you walk
into the place or you may be walking outdoors
sitting outdoors
but you can have any kind of whether you want
any kind of lighting
and you can see clearly his place
how it looks can hear the sounds
and you start to feel the feelings that you feel when you're in that place
i read those people
or that person
in this situation
ha
and you begin to interact with
people there are your work
and you begin to experience the feelings and thoughts and
responses he responded things
after i've been doing this thursday
hear hear a knock on the door
if you're outside the knocking can just be on a tree or it can be a woodpecker
if you're indoors you can hear the knock on the door the doorbell
are you get up and he bolted the door
and when you open the door
the buddha is standing there
the buddha kwan yin bodhisattva of compassion
the buddha has on his robes and or quanyan as on her a long flowing garments
there are very beautiful
i'm perhaps you're quite surprised to see the buddha or quanyan standing there
i would never knocked on your door before
but they've come to see you
and you stay hello
and exchange greetings
and then the of a crimean suggests
hence you change clothes and bodies
and that you can observe the buddha a quanyan in your body with your clothes coin into your life

i'll say it in exchange
and you're now in the buddha's body or ability to his body and go watching yourself
go back into the situation you're in
the people there
are your work
and you watch how you have rebooted a quanyan in your body what they do and situation

had perhaps they speak
perhaps they're silent and they
just two things
but you can listen to the conversation
the
huh
hey
so after the buddha crimean comes back to you you come back to yourself
hand
he led a chance to observe them in a situation
you exchange how back again
that your back in your own body with your own clothes and the buddha acquire hand returns to her body

and then you go back to the door and about to me that before they leave the buddha a quite in ah
hoppers you
a few words of advice or
encouragement
hendra here if you haven't heard
you are reading you hear ya hear some a words
are you can just see the
a expression
on the face of the buddha or other the teachers for
quanyan
and then the canyon or reaches him to their robes and takes out a little present for you
a little gift
ha maybe you see it
or perhaps it's wrapped up
perhaps it's you know a little package wrapped up and you have to unwrap it
and open up the box or container
and see what's inside
and it has some a meaning for you
and then you thank the
how buddha or canyon

and say good bye
huh
and then you can have come back to green dots for the end of the talk

ha maybe at the question and answer some of you would like to share your the road trip
meditation with it
this obviously you know it's not just
the buddha and quite the enter someone inside us
so we can
it's possible to
and in touch with him burner kenyan into
come to their kind of this kind of kindness or compassion
which is beyond what we normally experience
or how we normally and habitually act
i felt today and and i feel now i'm happy to
have be here with you her because even though i get
a nervous or anxious about i talk
and about wondering if
you know i'm giving you enough of a present
in my tag
i also when i come here i feel
a wonderfully men spirit of of kindness and a good well
how come on you
so thank you very much and i wish you
her happiness and peace and growth and wisdom and compassion in the coming year