1984.02.28-serial.00304

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Having it to see and listen to, to remember and accept, I vow to taste the truth of the Tathagata's words. I vow to taste the truth of the Tathagata's words.

[01:24]

I vow to taste the truth of the Tathagata's words. [...]

[02:26]

I vow to taste the truth of the Tathagata's words. Anyway, I've been wondering, and maybe you wonder about such things, I've been wondering what the heck it is that we're doing here at Tassajara. Probably the rest of you don't ever think about it. In one of the commentaries about the story of Bodhidharma and the Emperor, someone says, Setting aside the meaning of the highest truth, what the heck do you want with it anyway?

[03:58]

What would you do with it? What do you want it for? And there's other stories like that. There's one where someone asks the teacher, What is it like when an arrow goes through three barriers? And the teacher says, Bring out the lord of the barriers and let me talk to him. It's really similar. What is it that we're up to? What is it that we're trying to do? Or how I've been thinking about it lately. What is it that I'm trying to prove?

[04:59]

Am I trying to prove something? Or to think about it or talk about it the way, in my last lecture I talked about the place where you live and what's going on there. How do you describe the situation to yourself? How do you conceive or conceptualize what's happening? And what are you trying to prove by sitting zazen, following the schedule, eating with some funny bowls and cloths? Freezing your hands and feet. What is it that you're up to?

[06:03]

And I know sometimes people ask me, Why are we doing this? What's the point? And I don't have much of an answer for that. I have to give it back to you. And ask you, well, what are you doing? And as I've mentioned before, there tends to be, in a certain way of looking at it, roughly two major characters on the scene in the place where we live. One of them thinks a lot and whines and complains. And it's like a verse I read this week that says, A trying or not trying, stopping or not stopping, the rich man's child is without any clothes.

[07:45]

So here's this kid who supposedly should have all the advantages in the world but doesn't even have any clothes. And is wondering what the heck happened to his inheritance, his or her inheritance. Why things don't come out better. And then there's another character, and then someone says about this, the onlooker laughs. Oh, you poor kid, too bad. Isn't it silly? You're such a crybaby, aren't you? Anyway, there's that other character around, the onlooker, who tells you what a crybaby you are. I am, and so on. And how it is that you should try harder, or concentrate more, or do this or do that, or when are you going to grow up, or one thing or another.

[08:47]

And I think oftentimes we approach practice as though the practice is an instrument of the onlooker to better discipline the child. We have this, I think sometimes, often this idea of tying ourselves up, and it's going to be some use to tie yourself up or down. Discipline is good for us. And if you don't sit still, I'm going to punish you by making you sit still longer. And if you can't keep your mouth shut, then you have to go to your room, because we don't want you around. And so we pull all these little numbers on ourselves to try to get ourselves to behave properly. It's sort of like training a dog or something. You know, sit, sit, heel, heel.

[09:56]

And after a while you think that maybe the dog will be well trained, and be a good mutt, and keep you company. But mostly the dog just gets cowed in the long run. And you're stuck with being this sort of a meek, submissive person who doesn't assert himself or herself, and so on. Too bad. So, anyway, that's one kind of view of practice, it seems like, that we get involved in. I was just thinking the other day about one time when I was in session and my knees were hurting. And I don't know, one can start doing the craziest things sometimes in practicing Zen. But my knees were hurting, and so I thought, if they're going to hurt me, I'm going to hurt them back. So that they'll stop hurting me. I'll teach them a lesson. I'll make them hurt so that, you know, they'll get the idea that if they hurt me, I'll hurt them, and they should stop that.

[11:04]

So my knees were hurting, and so I went like this. You're going to hurt me, I'm going to hurt you back. Like that. And I got both my knees to hurt a lot. It was sort of hard and long to tell which was hurting more, my knees or me. And my knees wouldn't stop hurting me, even though I was, you know, probably punishing them for doing this dastardly thing to me that they were up to. Anyway, we have these kind of ideas. It's amazing how, you know, once you start doing something like that, I mean, you go... I mean, I went like, holy mackerel. You know, I could actually believe that this is something I could do, and that it might work? This is crazy. You know, how could I ever think such a thing? Hurting my knees back. Trying to teach them a lesson.

[12:05]

You know, it serves them right, after all, to misbehave like that. And they have it coming. And they deserve whatever they get in return, and so on. I'm sure you've never done anything like that. Or have you? Anyway, it's all rather painful. So there's another... So I think the longer... My experience, anyway, was that more and more I began to realize that practice had something to do with... That practice was some way to, you know, to train the trainer. You know, if you have, like, a rider and a horse, or a horse and a rider, and the horse is this dumb beast, of course, that has a mind of its own,

[13:13]

and doesn't just do what the rider wants it to. And it's got a tremendous amount of energy and strength and endurance, and it can put up with a lot of punishment. And the rider can inflict various forms of, you know, shaping up practices upon the horse with the whip and spurs, and get it to go faster. Faster! Faster! I want to go faster! We're not going fast enough! You know, and whipping it in the spurs. And then, of course, the poor beast at some point, you know, gives out. And says, Master, Master, I've had it. If you want to go any further, you're going to walk. And so there we are, collapsed in our cabins. You know, waiting for the horse to recover so we can pick up where we left off.

[14:21]

And try to get it to behave properly again. Anyway, if you look into this matter a bit, my experience was that I began to realize that the rider needed to learn something about how to be a rider, more so than the horse needed to get whipped into shape. Because the rider has all these bizarre ideas about, and expectations of what a horse is capable of. Which are pretty unrealistic. And the rider doesn't seem to realize that as it's whipping the horse and digging in its spurs, and then when the horse complains, the rider forgets that it was the rider himself who stuck in the spurs and whipped the horse. And just, you know, as my example of hurting my knees, it's as though I would forget that I'm the one who was hurting my knees,

[15:28]

and then go, why are my knees hurting me? What's the matter with you? Can't you just sit there and not hurt? When I did it in the first place, by the way, I was going about things. So this rider needs a lot of practice, much more so than the horse. And this rider is just so willful, entirely willful, and wishful, unrealistic, out of touch with things, has its own ideas about the way things should be, and somehow thinks that it can control the situation to a much greater degree than is humanly or divinely possible.

[16:29]

So, it may be useful to turn the analogy around and think that rather than having the rider train the horse, what is necessary is to have the beast teach the rider a few things, which the rider can learn. You know, if the rider decides to be a student of the horse rather than the other way around and take lessons, then the rider can learn a lot. The rider might even learn to enjoy himself or herself. Like a dumb beast. So there's various... I want to today talk about practice, and some way to think about practice,

[17:52]

with some reference to this conceptual model I've created. First I want to say a little bit more about the kinds of conceptual models of what it is that we're doing. One kind of conceptual model is to say, I'm not enlightened. I observe, I look at the situation and I come to the conclusion I'm not enlightened. And so I have to strive and concentrate to become enlightened. And if I make enough effort and concentrate enough, then I'll get enlightened. And this seems to me something like the Rinzai model of practice. And one of the pitfalls of this kind of practice is that you have to keep over and over again describing your situation as being unenlightened,

[18:53]

and describing yourself as being kind of a klutz. And then you can properly energize yourself to try to arrive and produce a different kind of understanding or situation. But the whole model works because you return to the idea that I'm nowhere, I have to get somewhere, so I better strive. This is sort of oversimplifying, I think, in terms of the Rinzai model. But anyway, we have that kind of model about how to go about things. The Soto model is more, well, suppose I'm already enlightened. Why don't I just do what it is that I want to do? I'll just do what I want. It goes back to that question, what would I want the Holy Truth for anyway?

[19:57]

And whatever it is I want it for, why don't I just try doing that stuff? And skip the Holy Truth and all that stuff, why don't I just do what it is I really want to do? And even if I'm rather awkward at it and clumsy and klutzy and so on, anyway, I'll just practice at it. And see if I can't just work at it. Do what I can. Then there's a third kind of model. Let's see, what helps the Rinzai model work here is what I'm calling the Rinzai model. Anyway, both of these models don't take what's going on as real, as really real. That you have to do something about.

[21:02]

One realizes that one is making up the model. Then the third alternative is to the usual, the ordinary person's model, so to speak, is to... although people do various things, is to take things as real. So if I get up and then I think about this and that and I complain and so on, then it's obvious that I'm kind of a baby. And so I can ascertain by what's happened that I really am a baby. Or I really do complain about a lot and I should stop that. And then one can observe further circumstances and see whether one comes to the same conclusion or not. And in this way, one tries to prove something to oneself, one way or another.

[22:11]

Whether I'm a likable person or it's all right for me to like me or do other people like me. What's going on? And how do I get it to all be better? And the trouble with this model is that it's really real. And it goes on being really real and never gets any better. It goes on being the same. It goes on being impermanent and transient, unsatisfactory. And you can never prove anything once and for all. It's always, what have you done for me lately, kid? That sort of thing. Okay, anyway, this is sort of an aside. I don't know.

[23:18]

This is interesting for you, but we do have these different ways of conceptualizing the situation and what it is we're up to and what it is we're doing and so on. And whether it's real or not real or exists or doesn't exist. Anyway, let me go on. I may come back to that a little bit. So, in terms of practice, I want to talk about the five cardinal virtues. Do you know the five cardinal virtues? The five are faith, energy, mindfulness, concentration and wisdom. And they're, in a sense, five ways, five factors, five ways we can describe or elements of practice.

[24:21]

And some way to turn freely in the place where we live. Rather than it being some place where we're perpetually stuck. So these are practices. Practices so that we can turn freely. And so that what we think or feel and so on is not a hindrance. And what goes on doesn't stop, block us. And everything is, each moment can be dharma. Setting aside my saying that. So, faith. Faith has to do with how I'm going to talk about it today.

[25:40]

As I said, it's in reference to this place where we live. And faith has to do with plunging in. Rather than stepping back and saying, Oh, I don't know if I'm interested in hanging out here. I think maybe I'd rather do something else today. I'd like a little bit of a, you know, maybe something a little more amusing. I think I'm going to go over here instead. Anyway, we have all these feelings and thoughts. And ways in which we kind of step back and remove ourselves from the situation. So it's faith that plunges in. It's faith to plunge in because you don't know, we don't know what's going to happen. If we plunge in and we stop standing back and assessing what's going on.

[26:44]

Now in terms of one's thinking. And one's resistance to jump in. You know, faith sometimes is described as this shore, this side of the river is infested. Or there's a forest fire coming or something. And the river is all full of crocodiles and beasties. And it's faith that plunges in and heads for the other shore. Whereas one's thinking is, I don't know about jumping in there. Even though things are kind of out of control already. And thinking hasn't worked for us much all of our life. So in this idea of faith, one says to one's thinking as it were. Look, I appreciate your consideration and worry for me.

[27:52]

And you've been very helpful all these years. Watching out for my own good and safety. And making sure I don't make a fool of myself. But I'd like you to step back, step aside out of the picture for a few minutes. While I take a dive into what's actually going on. Like my breathing. Into breath. And you say to your thinking, very nicely like that. And you make a little deal with it. Please step aside. And look. And then your thinking says, no, no, no. I'm really worried about what's going to happen to you. If you start getting involved with your breath. And we don't know what's going to happen. And you might disappear. And you won't be the same person anymore. And various things that you're thinking can come up with.

[28:54]

And at that time, you say, look. Just for a minute or two, alright. And I promise to check back and see what you think about it. You make a little deal, you know. And then if your thinking is really persistent, you say, look. There's a TV in the next room. No, here in Tassajara, there's not a TV in the next room. So you say, look. I have a little something for you to think about. Does a dog have Buddha nature? Or some dumb thing, you know. And it's, look. Go think about this while I plunge into my breathing, why don't you? You know. I mean, go amuse yourself. I mean, have a nice time. It's okay, you know. I don't mind. But stay out of my way, why don't you? And, you know. Then once you, you know. If you're thinking, once you get your thinking to agree. And then you plunge in. And then your thinking will come along. How's it going? How's it going? Get away! At some point, you can be a little bit more forceful with your thinking.

[30:01]

So this has to do with, this is the quality of faith. Plunging in. In spite of, or, you know. In some way or another. Setting your thinking aside. Now energy has to do, energy has to do with presence of mind. It's a little different than mindfulness, which is noticing or noting what happens.

[31:09]

But just presence. You know, so often. We get in some situation and. You know, somehow all of our. Our thinking comes along. Then, you know, here we are. We've dived in. Then our thinking comes along. And says. You know, this really isn't very useful for you to do. And then we go. Oh yes. Oh yes, you're right. Yes. Okay. All right. I'll go think with you instead. Okay. And we just right away agree. To the next thing that comes along. Thought or feeling or impulse. And so presence. You know. You start to get angry. Here you are just following your breath.

[32:13]

And then some anger comes up. Why this makes me so mad just to sit here like this. And then you go. Yeah, you're right. Boy, that's really something to get mad about, isn't it? And right away you agree. You know. Anyway, that's not very much presence. And that's. It's. There's not. It. We must have some. A presence of mind. As things come up. We have to. You know. We try to be present. And. But then. Mindfulness has an opportunity to. Act. More thoroughly. So. It takes some. Presence of mind. You know. If you're sitting. Following your breath. And then. You go. And then you think. Oh, this makes me so mad just to sit here like this. I can't stand it. And you go. Wait a minute. You know. You have to stay with it some.

[33:16]

Just a minute. What are you doing here? And. This is the. And to. Turn. To turn the things that come up into. Your practice. As it were. So if anger comes up like that. You have. You invite. Anger to sit with you. Instead of. Anger is going to stop. You from sitting. Or anger is going to stop you from following your breath. You invite anger. Why don't you. Why don't you come along and follow the breath with me. How come. How come you're not. Why. Why don't you join me in doing this. This is activating. You know. Activating anger for practice. Rather than as a hindrance to practice. And then of course your anger will say. Well.

[34:21]

It's so stupid and silly. I'm not going to do something like that. And I don't know how to do it anyway. Then you have to explain. And why would I do it. Then you have to explain the benefits of practicing Zazen to your anger. You know. And how wonderful it is. And then you have to give your anger something to do. Or you're thinking. You know. Because you're thinking. Then you say. And you're. Then you're thinking. You say. Well. Why don't you. Why don't you. Investigate. What a breath is. While I'm sitting here. Practicing. Following my breath. And plunging into my breath. Why don't you think about. What is a breath. How do. How does it go. Where does it begin and end. What's going on here. How does it work. And you give your thinking something to do. If it's your anger. You. You can.

[35:22]

Invite it to. Energize. Your breath. Why don't you see how. How. You know. This breath may not be very interesting to you. Maybe kind of boring. The way it is. Why don't you see. What you can do with it. Why don't you see how. You could breathe. So this is. Presence. And it's stabilizing. It's energizing. It's focusing. Concentration emphasizes more focusing all this energy. So let's leave focusing for concentration. But this. This brings. You know. Some presence in the situation. So you can stay there. Instead of going up someplace else. So to speak. Now mindfulness.

[36:34]

Of course. It's. As we know. Noting. A long breath is a long breath. A short breath is a short breath. Now I'm sad. Now I'm angry. And no evaluation. So this is going to be. A big help to. Energy. Concentration. And. Wisdom. And faith. Because. So often. Something. Can. Be going on. Which we don't notice. And then before we know it. We don't know. Where we got. How we got. Where we are. So.

[37:35]

You know. So. If. And I think about mindfulness. As having. A little bit. The function. Of. A questioning. Or in that sense. Like Thich Nhat Hanh. Spoke about mindfulness. Is open mindfulness. So it's not. Really real. But mindfulness is noticing. And it can change. The more one. The more closely one looks at it. It can change. So in terms of thinking. If. If we're in a situation of. Do I stop my thinking.

[38:39]

Then. Mindfulness might say. Oh. Now I'm thinking. You know. If. Today I'm making this into. More than one person. Oh. Now you're. Are you thinking about something. What are you thinking about. So this is a little bit different. Or. Oh pretty angry are you. Kind of sad today huh. And then you can. Look at it. Look into it. A little bit. No it's awfully hard. If. You know if you have a child. You know about this. But. Or. You know we all know about it. But if your child keeps coming up.

[39:41]

And saying. Look can we do something. Can we play together. And then you say. Look I'm busy studying. I've got a lot to do. I've got an exam coming up. Talk to you later. And if you do this perpetually. Day in and day out. The child gets pretty frustrated. And angry with you. Well you never ever play with me. You never ever pay attention to me. Why you know. So on like that. And so if you start to notice. Yourself feeling that way. You can. Know that. You can know that. You've been ignoring your. Thoughts and feelings. And telling yourself. That you've been busy. Doing Zazen. And practicing Buddhism. And you don't. You know. And it's not. It's not. You know it's beside the point. To pay attention to thoughts. And feelings. But. I think there's a. I mean. That can only go so far. You know. There's a limit to that. After a while. You don't feel good doing that. And so. Other than just constantly. Practicing faith. And plunging in. And telling your. Thoughts and feelings.

[40:42]

To get lost. There's such a thing as. Noting. Noticing. What the heck is it. That I'm thinking. What is it that I'm feeling. What's going on here. And. I'm sad. I'm thinking about such and such. And you turn and. Face it. Rather than. Ignoring it. And putting it off. You turn and face it. And when you turn and face it. It doesn't have to. Pester you anymore. For your attention. You know. It doesn't have to. Drag on your ropes. And try to stop you. You never pay attention to me. And throw a fit. And make a scene. You know. It doesn't have to do that. Your thinking and feeling. Doesn't have to make this big scene. And overwhelm you. When you're willing to turn towards it. And say. What the heck am I thinking. What am I feeling. What do I want. And so.

[41:48]

Once you turn towards it. And look at it. It's different. Than all that time. That you were doing. Try not to pay any attention to it. And so. I think of mindfulness. And open mindfulness. As looking into this. Concentration. As I talked about before. Is. Focusing. Of these various factors. And elements. All together. In some activity. Whether it's following the breath. Posture of sitting. Or work. Or whatever it is. And noticing.

[42:49]

What is it. Thinking about. And one adjusts the way. The way one does things. To include. Whatever was being left out. I don't know. I don't. You know I talked about this. But I don't. Sorry. I don't want to go. Into a lot of detail or something. But. If we're concentrating in a way. That's kind of. Putting your nose to the grindstone. And making a kind of drudgery out of it. Now you have to follow your breath. Oh okay. After a while. You'll want to play. You know. If you've made a drudgery out of it. Your mind after a while. Will want to play. So then it'll go off and play. And then you say. Now come back here. You have to follow your breath again. And if you're doing like that. Well you're not going to be very concentrated. So if you notice. Your mind is going off to play.

[43:49]

Then you have to make more play. Out of following your breath. That kind of. So that. Helps. It's. So it's similar to energy. What I was talking about. Energy. But this is. Focusing. More intently. And something like the breath. Will be. Open. Ended in a way. That. Some activity that involves. Accomplishing something. One can get distracted. By. The accomplishment involved. So following the breath is. Something that. Has an openness to it. That's different in that way. And wisdom. Wisdom. Wisdom is.

[44:54]

In one sense. Noticing that. You made all this up. Or. On the other hand. That. Nothing. That nothing is going on. Or that all. Or just to see the. Or seeing the dynamics of all of this. When all these dynamics come into play. Then this is the way the situation is. So someone said. If you want to know the. Meaning of Buddha nature. Then examine. Causes and conditions. Time and season. And you've been doing. Concentrating and.

[45:56]

Mindfulness and. Faith and energy. And you. Say. What are you thinking? What are you feeling? And. You're thinking and feeling says. Oh nothing. Nothing in particular. I just. I just like to hang out with you. Whatever it is you're doing. I just like to join you. That's all right. But. You.

[47:02]

You. [...] Do you know the. First case. In the show Yoroku. Where Manjushri says. The Buddha is about to preach. And Manjushri says. Something like. Observe closely. The Dharma. Of the Dharma King. Observe closely. The Dharma. Of the King of Dharma. The dharma of the king of dharma is thus. And then Shakyamuni gets up and leaves.

[48:09]

And there is a verse about that case and it says. Can you see it? It makes it sound like it was something that could be seen. Anyway, the unique breeze of reality, can you see it? Continuously creation runs her loom and shuttle, weaving the ancient brocade, forming the impression

[49:28]

of spring. Nothing can be done about Manjushri's leaking. Can you see it? [...]

[50:53]

So I hope we can look carefully at what we're doing, the place where we live. And think about how we go about things. Observe carefully our causes and conditions, our time and season, how things happen. And that we, you know, I don't know how to say it, but I hope we can look at that.

[52:06]

Well, I guess it's the question of what do you want with the holy truths? What would you want with them? That we are careful and look closely about what we're doing, so it's not just tying ourself down or disciplining ourself, trying to make the horse run faster for the sake of some imperial and impervious writer, and that we can actualize our life in practice. Good luck.

[53:14]

What would you like to talk about? Richard? Well, how is it for you that no one is home? How is it for you that no one is home? I'm sweating a little bit. I find that I get into trouble when I think in terms of my experiences of things happening to me. I find that when you talk of someone who is outside their life, watching their life,

[54:28]

and something is happening to them, a problem happens. How many people are sick? Well, as far as how many people are sitting here, I say it can't be counted. It can't be counted. It can't be counted.

[55:30]

It can't be counted. It can't be counted. It can't be counted. There's that well-known verse, something like, there's actions but no actor, there's deeds but no doer. And when we look closely, of course, we can't find someone or anyone separate from the event itself.

[56:32]

We can't really find someone who's thinking or someone who's feeling. We notice the thought and we notice the feeling. So if we keep doing this, we notice that there must not be, there isn't, we can't find some unchanging or some continuing I. And that's a relief in the sense that one doesn't have to affix that I or make it a particular I anymore. Make it a particular way, based on the thoughts and feelings and so on that one has, which indicate the kind of I that I am, because I think this way and I feel this way, and so I must be this kind of a person. And yet we can never find that person, that's the kind of person that I must be.

[57:40]

But if, why I asked you, well, how is it for you that no one's home? Why I asked that is because you can have two different situations of no one home. One is the situation where no one's home and so all this stuff is going on, you know, think this and feel that and we're going here and go there and there's no one home. So it's all just happening, like wow, you know, it's sort of like the kids all play. It's something mom and dad are away and the kids all play. So is it that kind of no one's home? Or is it no one's home in the sense of not finding some I? Because then there's, I think sometimes, how I think about it, I mean, as a conceptual model again, we could say that we can observe all these actions and thoughts and feelings that I am doing,

[59:29]

or that are happening to me, that's our description of it. I observe that. And I observe this and I observe this and so on. And so, and I can't observe the observer. So I suppose it's a matter of language, but then we could say, well, if no one's home, how are we ever going to practice? Who's going to practice? Here's all these people. Here's all these other characters who are thinking and feeling and things are happening to me, but who is it that's going to practice? Who is it that practices Buddhism? Who is it that realizes Buddhism?

[60:33]

And I think that's the same no one's home. Not that that makes sense, logically, but I think it's the same no one's home. Because no one's home can be, as I said, all the kids running around and everybody has a great time. But no one's home can also be doing this practice that I described. Oh, you're pretty angry today, are you? Well, why don't you come and breathe with me, see what you can do with the breath. And that's also no one's home in the conceptual model that I'm spinning out, weaving out today. I think that was a little too long-winded, but for what it's worth.

[61:53]

Yes. You mentioned the pitfall of the Rinzai approach and the pitfall of the approach that takes things to be real. What about the pitfall of the Soto approach? Right. The pitfall of the Soto approach is that you fall into the third approach, thinking that things are real. Well, it's not exactly thinking that things are real. Actually, it's falling into indolence, which is what people keep bringing up here. But there are these things to attain, and if there's nothing to attain, then why make any effort? Why bother? Why bother? Oh, everything is all enlightenment. But it's still not bringing out your guts, as it were, or actualizing your life. You can use the conception without actually doing it.

[62:58]

So it's kind of like the two poles are, I'll never get there, and there's nowhere to get to. Yes, those can both be pitfalls, right. Anything else? Doug? Would you be Robert Bly and repeat that verse from the first case material? I'll just repeat it. Well, I can tell you Robert Bly's story. Okay, I'll repeat the verse first, and then I'll tell you the Robert Bly story. The verse is... I can't remember it exactly. The unique... Shall I play it back from the tape? That's what I mean, that's not the verse. I just said it, made it up.

[64:17]

The unique breeze of reality. Can you see it? Continuously creation runs her loom and shuttle, weaving the ancient brocade. This is the part I can't remember. All I remember is forming the impression of spring, but it has something to do with spring. Forming spring. Forming the pattern of spring. The unique breeze of reality. Can you see it? Continuously creation runs her loom and shuttle, weaving the ancient brocade. Forming the impression of spring. Nothing can be done about Manjushri's beacon. You know, we keep thinking that something can be done about it. About all the stuff we think and feel.

[65:22]

Anyway, this verse says nothing can be done about it. And this is similar to the Robert Bly story. In which he tells the story of... This is a Russian folk tale. In which a young man, his father says that his sons are to shoot arrows away from the house and then they will find someone to marry. And the first son shoots an arrow and he marries the general's daughter. Another son marries a princess or a movie star or something. A starlet. The third son shoots his arrow and it kind of falls short. It lands in the swamp and out hops this frog carrying the arrow. So he has to marry the frog. And it's pretty humiliating. But it turns out that sometimes at night the woman comes out of the frog skin and sews some shirts and makes bread and things.

[66:36]

And then before morning goes back in the frog skin. And Robert Bly says this is rather like when you first try writing poetry. The lines don't hang together and it doesn't really work. And you feel so clammy. And wet. And slimy. And unevolved. And everybody knows you're sleeping with a frog. Laurie showed this to me and she said it's just like being a Zen student. The same thing. So after a while, this goes on for some time. And finally one night the woman comes out of the frog skin and goes with the man to the king's ball. And while they're at the king's ball the husband sneaks out, goes home and burns the frog skin. Then the woman comes home later.

[67:37]

She can't get back into her frog skin. It's all very upsetting. And she has to leave. He didn't go into the details. But the point is that it's a great tragedy to burn the frog skin. And to think that the idea of this kind of practice that we're doing, or being a poet or whatever it is, is to finally do away with all that creepy stuff in our life. And all the childish stuff and the slimy stuff and the ugly stuff. That we would get rid of it or something. Anyway, that story has that same kind of feeling to it. On the other hand, it's not necessary to stay in your frog skin all the time. And never come out.

[68:42]

Well, I'll sing you a little preview of my performance for tomorrow night. Just so you'll be sure to come. I should have known better with a breath like this That it would be entirely bliss It's just this, it's just this Oh well. Thank you. May our intention be for it Penetrate every being and place With the true merit of love

[69:47]

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