I was talking to someone about, someone was talking to me about wearing robes to this class, whether we should wear robes or wear work clothes or some other kind of clothes. And one reason for wearing work clothes would be because most people only have one robe and you wear it in the zendo and it's hard to keep clean and maybe we should save our robe, our single robe for the zendo. It sounded reasonable to me. I think that it's good, you know, to be mindful of taking care of our robe, especially if we only have one.

[01:05]

Which brings up another question, but in the morning I think it's easier if we have a class to be in your robe, because you're going back to the zendo. So I don't know, but I think maybe for the evening class, I don't think you should wear your work clothes, but maybe your tuxedo. But I'll wear some clothes, dark clothes, but at least wear your raksha if you have one, because class is a formal, semi-formal, kind of semi-formal affair. It's not a work period. So it doesn't make sense to wear your work clothes. And it's not a zendo activity. So if you wear something appropriate to the occasion, some clothes that are appropriate to the occasion, and if you have a rock suit, to wear your rock suit.

[02:16]

Let's put it that way. Yes? I have a question about the kitchen. The kitchen? Yeah, because we already started to work and we had to, you know, run to our cabin and change for this, and then we had to run back and change again. Yeah. Well, that's good practice. Your exercise time. You know, if you're a priest, you're always changing your clothes. You're continually changing your clothes, you know. And that's part of practice, is how do you get in and out of your clothes quickly. When I worked in the kitchen, we kept robes upstairs in the loft. That's a possibility, too. The other thing is that some people have their own robes, and some people have robes which they've borrowed, or rented, or loaned. something, somehow, from Mother Tassajara.

[03:24]

And if your robes belong to Tassajara, you should really take good care of them. You should keep them clean, and you should keep them repaired. And when you give them back, they should they will be more warned than when you got them. But they should at least show that you took some care of them and respected them, and that someone else will be wearing these robes after you. But I want to talk about that actually a little later in my talk, because part of what my talk is about is how we take care of things. So today, there are two little stories here that I want to talk about, and they kind of complement each other.

[04:43]

The first one is on page 19. This story on page 19 is about how to let go of things And the complementary story is on page 17, and it's about how to take care of things. So I mentioned this story once before, and you probably already read it. Story number 26 in Roman numerals. This is an example which cautions monastic officers against living in a fine building or a large house with a great view. Priest Fayan of Mount Wuzhu lectured to the community.

[05:50]

My old teacher, actually, I think it's his old teacher's teacher. My old teacher's teacher was first abbot of Mount Yongke. The building was old and decayed, barely able to keep out the wind and rain. In the evenings in winter, snow and hail covered the sitting floor and the monks could not stay there. The monks, expressing their sincerity, volunteered to repair the building. My old master rejected this by saying, the Buddha said that at this time, when the lifespan of human beings is getting shorter, High peaks can turn into low valleys as nothing is permanent. This time when the lifespan of human beings is getting shorter, there's this whole elaborate theory about, it's mathematically computed, and it has to do with human cycles,

[06:59]

and how there's a cycle where human beings, their lifespan gets, in a cycle of a hundred years or ten years, the lifespan keeps getting shorter and shorter and shorter, and then it changes and the lifespan keeps getting longer and longer and longer. And it's these, you know, 86,000 year numbers and things like that. I didn't, I don't want to talk about that, but that's what it's referring to. So, apparently, when this was written, Or at the time of this, when he was saying this, according to that theory, human lifespan was getting shorter and shorter. So the Buddha said that at this time, when the lifespan of human beings is getting shorter, high peaks can turn into low valleys as nothing is permanent. That means things can change from one extreme to another, and they do. How can we fulfill our desire by looking for personal satisfaction?

[08:05]

You have left the household and studied the way, and you can't even keep your hands and feet still. You are already 40 or 50 years old. How can you afford the leisure to create a fine building? In this way, he would not accept their wish. The following day, he ascended the seat and presented this poem. As Yang Qi begins to settle down in his place, Roof and walls are crude and coarse. The snow jewels are spread all over the floor. I shrink my neck into my shoulders and subtly sigh. But as I turn my mind around, I think of people in olden times who lived under trees. I've seen this poem translated in three different ways, and this is the best translation. In general, creating magnificent buildings towers and ponds is equally cautioned against in both worldly and unworldly realms. Shizu says, if you want to see the deed of the Yellow Emperor, you can find it in the He Palace.

[09:11]

If you want to see the deeds of Emperors Yao and Shun, you can find them in the Zongzhong Hall. The courts of Emperor Yao and Shun were covered with grass and were called Zongzhong, the Court of the State of Affairs. He's comparing even the emperors, the ancient emperors of China, even they didn't have elaborate buildings. If you look at them, you can see they were just, you know, nice huts. In these descriptions, we know that the ancient rulers who were regarded as saintly or wise did not value fine fences, rooms, or roofs. They laid thatch on their roofs but did not bother to trim it. Even more so, how could the descendants of Buddha ancestors wish for fine or elaborate buildings and maintain red towers and jeweled buildings? The span of a lifetime is not so long, so do not spend it in vain. For over 20 years, I have been in both countries, China and Japan, and it says that, but it really should be where.

[10:18]

Where many people who are older or younger do not value their time, but toil away their lives constructing buildings with mud and wood. They get confused and lose their composure. What a pity. How painful. They throw away white dharma and don't abandon black karma. How can they desire to make a building which compares to the greatness of a tree? This is what Ancestor Fa Yuan meant. That was mentioned the other night about buildings and trees. I don't know if you remember that. And it reminded me of this. Well, you know, the old monks used to sit under trees and they weren't allowed to go into buildings, actually, in the beginning. But we wouldn't like to be sitting under old trees now. But then later, you know, monks began to sit in monasteries in the rainy season. They sat under trees when it was nice and warm in India.

[11:23]

hot weather. Why not? But then in the monsoon season, they gathered in the monasteries to practice. And that's called practice period. Three months. But in China and Japan, they have the summer ongo. It's always called the summer ongo, summer practice period. We have winter practice period. So this is great. This kind of attitude is really necessary for practice. The conditions don't matter. And practicing in adverse conditions is actually what keeps Zen vital. That's why we practice in the mountains. Not because it gets away. People think that you practice in the mountains to get away from the busy marketplace, which is partly true.

[12:30]

But, you know, we always have to go back to the marketplace to practice. But having kind of primitive conditions or simple conditions, which are very close to nature, creates a vital environment to practice. I remember when we first started sitting at Sarkoji, Bush Street, we didn't know what a Zavattham was. We used to sit on the floor, and we had Goza mats. There were tatamis around the walls, but we didn't have anything to put on them. And the people who were sitting on the tatamis had a little easier time than people sitting on the floor. But we had gozo mats, we just spread the mats out for zazen, and your ankle would be on the floor, you know.

[13:33]

And that was just common practice. And so, it was very painful though, but that's what we were supposed to do, so we just did it. Then later, gozo mats came in somehow, and we put them on the floor, and then they crept onto the tatamis. And then everybody was using gosa mats, and nobody ever thought after that of sitting zazen on the floor again. But there was something about that kind of practice, knowing that you could actually sit on the floor, and then everything above that was a kind of luxury. I still think of zabatons as a kind of luxury item. And now we build these zabatons that are really thick, you know? They start out very thin. I have Zavitans from the old days that are really thin. And now they're getting cushy. But we learn how to sit. We learn how to sit with kind of no comfort aids.

[14:39]

And you learn very quickly that way. And Suzuki Roshi always pushed us, you know. I remember we'd be sitting in the session and in the middle of Zazen he'd say, he could kind of tell where we were at, you know, he'd say, don't chicken out. He learned that phrase from somebody. Don't chicken out. And I remember Bill Kwong, when he moved to Sonoma and built the Sonoma Zendo, they had a barn. And the barn, this reminds me of that, of their place, actually, this poem. Because the barn, you know, just big cracks in the, in the, between the boards, you know, and knot holes and, and the cement floor. And they used to sit zazen on the cement floor. I thought, Bill, that's a little extreme.

[15:44]

He said, well, someday we'll build a floor in here. But it took him about 10 years before he built the floor. To be able to sit on the cement, that was really hard. And so, you know, we can sympathize with these kinds of conditions because Tassajara used to be more like this than it is now. It was only about a year or two ago that we put the heat in the zendo. We always sit in the cold. Those wonderful conditions. And nobody wore socks. When we, up until, well, as long as Suzuki Roshi was alive, we never wore socks in the Zendo. I mean, if you saw somebody with a pair of socks, you'd scratch your head, you know? But now even I wear socks. Otherwise my feet crack. And so I've been very kind to myself. But little by little, you know, There is a comfort threshold, which I think is good.

[16:51]

We should know how to take care of ourselves, and little by little we have created conditions, just enough so that we don't get sick, and we don't get bummed out, and we can accommodate. people in a wider range than just the ascetics. Buddhism has this kind of ascetic leaning. Even though it's not ascetic, it leans toward the ascetic. And sometimes it goes overboard, you know. So we have to be careful to make the building sit upright. Even though he's saying the building can fall over, it doesn't matter, just sit Zazen, you know. And it's a great thing, but there's the other side, which is how you take care of things. how you take care of things. And what was your question? Well, my question was about all those blue slippers that were up in the Zendo at one time, and now they are vanished in a closet somewhere.

[18:00]

And I know that at one time, a lot of people wore slippers. Well, I never saw that, but I heard, less I heard. That was the slipper fad. The slipper fad. When you go to a Heiji, You go in the door and they take your shoes away, and you put them in a little plastic bag, and they give you a pair of slippers. And so everybody in the monastery wears slippers. You don't wear your shoes. There are no shoes. And you just wear these slippers that are issued to you. And it doesn't matter what size you are. It's just a pair of slippers. And then you run through the monastery with the slippers. And you know, at Eiheiji, the original zendo has a dirt floor. But you wouldn't know it as a dirt floor because it's all polished and beautiful, you know. But it's actually packed with mud or clay or something.

[19:02]

And they wear slippers in the zendo. And then they get up on the tan and the slippers are right there. And then they get off the tan and put them on again and do everything with the slippers on. And the slippers don't mess up the floor. They have these beautiful floors as well as the mud floors. I think something in the book and it shows the monk sitting and you see the slippers. Yeah. And I remember putting the slippers on and, you know, the monks take you someplace, you know, in the morning they'll take you to the Buddha Hall, you know, and up these long corridors and You're trying to run after the monk and your slippers are falling off. You haven't learned the knack of keeping your slippers on. He's disappearing around the corner and you're running up the stairs and your slippers are falling off and you're trying to keep up with him. It's really a mess. So I think that the slipper fad came in, you know, like trying to imitate a heiji.

[20:10]

And so somebody, for some practice, maybe it was a rabbi, I don't know, He got a bunch of slippers. I think it was back in Dick's time. Back then, yeah. Oh, yeah, maybe Richard Baker, yeah. So, Richard Baker got all these slippers and people were wearing them for a while, but somehow it didn't take him. Yeah. Why would a teacher advocate letting a building fall into disrepair? Well, right, that's the good question. Why would he say, let the building fall down, you know? Because... Well, there are two things. One is... Sanzang is the most important thing, right? It doesn't matter what else is happening. It doesn't matter if the building is falling over. It doesn't matter if the sleet and rain is falling down the back of your neck. It doesn't matter if the snow is blowing through.

[21:16]

Main thing is to do this, right? So that's one point. The other point, which is actually the main point, is it's not necessary to build fine buildings in order to do the practice. Plain buildings, plain, you know, just shelter is enough, right? And if you start building, as soon as you start building fine buildings, then your attention starts going to find buildings. It's interesting. As soon as you start making some money, then you begin to want more money. It's a very interesting phenomenon. You get a raise in pay, and then you want more. So the standard of living starts going up. I'm not finished yet. In America, we have what we call our standard of living. And the standard of living keeps going up all the time. And we keep getting poorer. I mean, because of it.

[22:17]

Because we don't need all the stuff that we need, that we think we need, but, you know, it keeps being pushed on us. You know, you're supposed to buy this, and if you don't have this and that, your neighbor has it. And so, you're supposed to have what your neighbor has, otherwise, you're the poor person in the neighborhood. Right? So, you have to keep up with the Joneses, and the ante keeps rising higher and higher and higher. And the same thing, you know, with practice. The more you get, the more you have to get, you know? So, how to keep this from escalating, right? But isn't there a basic level of taking care of things? Right. That's the next story. These monks, in this story, these monks are actually just proposing to fix the whole room. That's right. This teacher is going off and saying, you always create a fine building. They're just maintaining the road. I agree with you. They just want to maintain, right? They say, hey, you know, like, let's just take care of the building, you know?

[23:19]

We're not trying to build a fine palace, you know, or elaborate religious edifice. We just want kind of, you know, and he's saying, no, forget it, you know? So this is a very extreme example, right? Very extreme example. If the teacher is, yes, Well, this is the next thing to sitting under a tree and also it's in the winter So You know your arguments are right. I don't have any argument with your arguments, but the point is you know to to to that it doesn't matter what happens. That's the point. It doesn't really matter, you know, what kind of place you're sitting in, or even if a building is leaking and falling down.

[24:25]

And this is what you should be paying attention to, because life is getting shorter, you know. Well, to me, all these stories basically only make sense when I don't stay with the objects they're talking about, look at them as metaphors of what happens in the mind. Like when I'm sad, I think, oh, now I have, or I'm angry, now I can kind of dismiss practice and take care of my anger. Or, you know, kind of I have, I veer away from kind of trying to stay upright or being on practice, so I have in my mind all these things that seem to come to interfere or in my emotional life or what's happening around and it's always this question of still staying practicing and having faith that by doing that I'm actually better taking care of

[25:37]

the whole improved that's in my mind. When I feel I'm now, I'm not comfortable enough to practice. It's a fine line what that is. It's not like one answer solves every question. But otherwise, I don't know. Well, it's also... Sorry, I've been nervous. I know. I was going to ask you to turn around. She says that the stories make sense to her when we see them as a metaphor for what's going on in our mind and body. But it also brings up the question of, what do you need? What do we really need in order to practice? What do we really need? I think that's the question here. Basically, what do we need? I think you should come closer, because I keep hearing you go like this, and it makes me uncomfortable.

[26:40]

If you could come up in the front, then I could talk to you easier. You have plenty of chairs here. So the question is, what do we really need? And here he's saying you don't need anything. Just, you can practice wherever you are, and you don't need to have fine buildings, you don't need a zendo, you don't need anything, basically, the bottom line. But then on the other hand, you do need other things, right? Yes? Is there a sense that one should do as much zazen as possible, or how does that balance with regular work practice? Well, you should be doing zazen all the time. But if you take this metaphor, you know, this story too literally, you have to be careful not to take the story too literally, you know.

[27:46]

I mean, it's an extreme example, and it's an extreme example for how you raise up the strong spirit of practice. But it's not an example of how you should do it. He's not only talking about old buildings, he's talking about old monks. And I think he's showing that the building doesn't have much time, but neither do you. Right. And even taking literally, perhaps this is not a monastery where there are a lot of new people coming. So even in a literal sense, maybe why spend our time fixing this up when we've got another ten years left to practice together? Well, that's a good point, which I'm just going to have to start on the next story, which is on page 17. Because the next story clears up all this. Yes? I was just reading Category Roshi's book, and he says something about his teacher had this kind of attitude, and they only had rice and

[28:59]

And sometimes they would run out of food and his teacher would say, well, why don't we just wait and maybe somebody will bring something. And he just couldn't believe it. He couldn't believe that somebody could just not be worried or let's do something. Let's just keep sitting and maybe somebody will bring some food. That's right. Well, if you have complete faith in the Dharma and put yourself in the hands of the Dharma, things happen like that. Because the way you live determines how you will live. And it works. I know someone whose life revolves around getting money from wealthy people. And because that's the way this person lives their life, it always happens. That someone always gives him money. True.

[30:05]

And we know who it is. I mean, I know that. But someone who depends just on dharma is always taken care of. You have to have that faith if you become a monk or a priest or a good Zen student, a total Zen student. When you turn your life over to dharma, then dharma takes care of you. It just happens that way because otherwise, there's no way to have faith in dharma. Well, I wanted to say a couple of things about this other... I remember Suzuki Roshi used to love the story of Joshu, who used to... He said, Joshu had a chair with a broken leg. And he'd always tie up the broken leg.

[31:09]

And people would want to give him a new chair. He'd say, no, no, this is my chair. It's the same old chair with a broken leg. And I guess he had a splint, which he tied up. And then he used to tell a story about a monk who wore the same pair of tabis, those little white socks. with a split toe for all of his life. And the tabi was patched, you know, he had patches on the tabi, and there were patches on top of the patches, and pretty soon the original tabi was completely gone. And it was only a tabi without patches. He loved that story too. So in this story, this is a story about Rinzai, which you may know about. The following is an example of toiling within study and practicing thoroughly after attaining the way.

[32:14]

The great master Huizhou, who is Rinzai, of Linchi Temple, was planting pines on Mount Huangpu. And Huangpu was also his teacher. He takes his name from the mountain. So Huang Po said to him, what do you mean to accomplish by planting so many pines in the deep mountains? And Lin Chi said, first, for the landscaping of the monastery, and second, as a landmark for future generations. So he's doing something for the place and for the future generations. Huang Po said, Remember the 30 blows you got from me? Lin Chi hit the ground with a hoe twice again and breathed out a long puff of air. Then Huang Po said, my teaching will greatly flourish through you.

[33:18]

First, I think you have to know a little something about the background of this story and about Lin Chi's background of Huang Po, who was his teacher. And Lin Chi was in Huang Po's monastery when he was very young. And he was shy about seeing Wong Po. And Wong Po said to his jisha, that guy never comes to see me. And the jisha said, he should see you. He's really a good student, but he's very young and very shy. So the jisha sent him, sent Lin Chi, Rinzai, to see Wong Po. And Wong Po gave him 30 blows and sent him out. And then he said, he went to the Jisha again, and said, wow, you should go talk to him again. So he went again, and then she gave him 30 blows and sent him out. And then he went to the Jisha, and the Jisha said, I'll go see him again.

[34:23]

So he went to the Jisha and gave him 30 blows and sent him out, three times. And then he said, wait a minute, you know. said to Huang Po, this is a really good student. And Huang Po said, I know. And so he sent him, the Jishi sent him again. Huang Po said, go see my other student down at the bottom of the hill or the next town or someplace. So he went to visit. I can't remember his name. And the teacher said to him, he told him the story about what happened. He said, That old grandmother, Huang Po, has been so kind to you. What are you talking about? Being mean, like beating you. And at that point, Huang Po, I mean, Rinzai woke up. And he went back to his teacher, Huang Po. And when somebody asked him, when the Jisha asked him about what happened, he said, there isn't very much to Huang Po's teaching after all.

[35:29]

So this is kind of, centers around this story. I mean, it's the background of the story. So Huang Po said, remember the 30 blows she got from me? And then she hit the ground twice with his hoe, again, and breathed out a long puff of air. Well, this long puff of air is untranslatable. I tried to get, when we were translating this, it's a long puff of air, not a sigh, One translator succumbs to calling it a sigh. And someone else says, it's like, shh. And someone else says, it's a sound like feeling like you would give after you had received 30 blows. Like, ah, or I don't know, whatever. It's whatever you think it is.

[36:34]

Anyway, a long puff of air. But somehow you can get the picture, I hope. But it's not really relevant to the story. So Guishan told this story to his student Yongshan. See, Yongshan and Guishan are two well-known masters, and together their school is called the Weiyang School, one of the five schools of Zen, China. And Yangshan asked Guishan, and Guishan questions Yangshan always about these stories. It's a kind of history, you know, a kind of thing where they do that. And so Guishan told this story to his student Yangshan. He said, did Huang Po entrust his teaching to Lin Chi alone at that time, or did he also entrust it to others, other people? And Yangshan said, the time of this event is way in the past, beyond my reach.

[37:37]

I can't really talk about it. And Guishan said, even so, I want to know about it. It seems like Yangshan had some kind of clairvoyance or was able to talk about things that happened in the past or the future. So I think that's why he was being questioned. And so Guishan said, even so, I want to know about it. Why don't you tell me? And Yangshan said, one of Linchi's descendants will head south and will carry out his entrustment. He will stop when he encounters a fierce storm. So this is his prediction, right? People are always giving predictions about future generations. But nobody knows what this means. Exactly. But someone says, well, Fuketsu was the third generation, and he was a very famous master, and where he settled was called the storm, or the big wind.

[38:41]

But that's a later edition. Anyway, it's like, who will take care of things? Who is the true ancestor from Lin Chi? It's a kind of koan. Who is the true ancestor of Lin Chi? Who is the true ancestor of Dungsang? Who is his true successor? And if you look at it, who will take care of things for the future? And when you think about Suzuki Roshi's lineage, who are Suzuki Roshi's descendants? Well, there are obvious descendants and then there are unobvious descendants. And sometimes, I remember several priests telling me that the person who receives, you know, who is considered the first Dharma descendant of a teacher isn't necessarily the one that carries out the lineage, that continues the lineage.

[40:00]

And sometimes it's some other person, some more obscure person. Or, like Suzuki Roshi had various disciples, some of whom you may think are his dharma descendants. And they are. But he had a whole lot of students. Suzuki Roshi had lots of students. And I think that Suzuki Goshi's lineage will be carried out by a lot of people who no one even thinks about as being his descendants. And so no one can really tell how things will be taken care of in the future. But the point here is that we have to take care of things now. Everybody has to take care of things now. And the future takes care of itself. how we take care of what we have is very important.

[41:02]

Not worrying about the future at all. We have to be concerned about the future, but certainly not to worry about the future or how things will happen in the future. The future is right here. So, the first story about not worrying about the buildings, not worrying about the place, That's one side. The other side is how do you take care of the place? How do you take care of the place for the present people and how do you take care of the place for future generations? And so Lin Chi is planting pines and cedars. Planting pines and cedars is a kind of metaphor for taking care of the place. You know, taking care of the practice, taking care of the place. And pines and cedars also can refer to students. So there's a lot of meanings in this planting pines and cedars. Lin Chi was at Huang Po's community for 20 years and toiled through his practice of the way.

[42:15]

Sometimes he planted pine, sometimes he planted cedar. Wasn't this inconceivable word an inconceivable practice? The landscape of One Mountain Monastery is a guidepost for myriads of years. It is said in the world that the wise cannot forget virtuous deeds. The small-minded do not repay a debt of gratitude. There is nothing that's free. Everything has to be paid for. Everything. the law of karma or the law of cause and effect is that everything has to be paid for. And when we think we're not paying for something, we're actually paying for it in some way that we don't understand. So we have to pay for the teaching that we get. Now we have to pay, you know, when we say in the meal chant, there's the line, may our virtue and practice deserve this food.

[43:22]

And people sometimes say, what do you mean this is my virtue and practice? We deserve to eat, don't we? We're human beings. But this is the line from a monk's practice, because monks are completely dependent on their virtue and practice for eating, as I was saying before. Since in India, monks were not allowed to work. They were not allowed to have money. And they could only have a few robes and bowls, 32 articles. So they were completely dependent on the quality of their practice. And this was, and it still is, a relationship that they have with laypeople. You do this, you do your practice in a virtuous way, and we will support you. for doing that. So that line in the meal chant comes from that kind of attitude, that we hope that our virtue in practice comes up to paying for the meal that we're getting.

[44:39]

Because you have to pay for the meal, somehow. Even though people give you this stuff, it's not begging in the sense of, I'm poor and destitute and have nothing. begging in the sense of, this will be paid back to you. Whatever is being put in my bowl is being paid for through my practice, which is not just for myself. Virtuous practice is non-self-centered practice. So, the small-minded do not repay a debt of gratitude.

[45:48]

Children in this house of Buddha ancestors should pay a deep debt of gratitude for the dharma, mine, it says mine, but it's actually dharma milk, dharma milk, which they have received. So, if you ever read Hakuin, you know, he's always talking about this old woman, referring to himself as this old woman with a dried up breast, you know, trying to feed these hungry young children, that kind of intimacy. So repaying such a debt means planting pine, planting cedar. So planting pine, planting cedar can refer to whatever we do to maintain

[46:52]

the place. So it's really important to maintain the place, not just for our own practice. We don't have to maintain it for our own practice, but, you know, when you have a place, when you build a zendo, the zendo has a certain kind of atmosphere. It's the atmosphere of practice. And you create a place, and you put an altar, and you put a Buddha, and you have tatamis, and people walk, and it's clean. and it somehow has the feeling of practice so that when a person walks into the zendo it's a different world than the world on the other side of the walls. And it has the atmosphere of practice and people can know what practice is because of the atmosphere. And then when they walk out of the zendo they walk into another world which doesn't have the atmosphere of practice.

[47:55]

So a Zen student has to be able to take the atmosphere of the Zendo into the world, which doesn't have the atmosphere of practice, and create practice in the world through bringing the Zendo into the world. So those are the two sides of practice. This is also planting pines and cedars. It is being contented with the morning meal and being contented with the noon meal, since there are only two meals. We do have a third meal, but we cheat a little bit. We eat too much. Although the time of the event is distant, it is planting trees in the deep mountains and hitting the ground with the hollow This is receiving the 30 blows and my teaching will greatly flourish through you.

[48:57]

If you wish to be a bridge for the Buddha way, you should learn from Linji through these events." So, this is the other side of the story. How you take care of things, not just for yourself, but for the sake of the practice. And if you have buildings, we should take care of them. Buildings are sentient beings that are part of our surroundings. The one thing that Dogen says about the other one, he says, how can you improve on a tree? How can you make buildings improve on a tree? You can. You take a tree and you don't improve on it, but you use it in different ways.

[50:02]

You take trees and we use them in different ways. And these buildings can help us to practice. It's like at Tassajara, we use Tassajara. Tassajara goes Continuously. There's no break. There's never a break in our use of this place. It's continuous. And if you try to find some time to do something, other than what we're doing, the cycle of activities is so strong that it's hard to take time out of that to do anything, you know? As soon as you want to do anything a little different than the scheduled events, the schedule comes rolling along, you know? It pushes you out of the way. So it's very hard to maintain, actually, the place. Very difficult to maintain Tassajara. But Tassajara keeps giving and giving and giving. And it's important to give back to the place.

[51:06]

Just like the ground, you know, when you have a garden or a field, you use up the field. And if you don't take care of it, you use it up. And then you pour chemicals in it, you know, to get quick growth. and then you use it up even further. So taking care of the place is like taking care of the ground. That's why everyone should take a turn working in the garden or the field and to understand how ground works and how things that grow out of the ground work. together and how the things that go out of the ground and the ground work together with the atmosphere and the weather and so forth. As soon as you take off your shoes and step on the ground, it's completely different. The world is a completely different place. As soon as you take off your feet and step on the warm ground, take off your shoes and step on the warm ground, you feel that the atmosphere

[52:13]

and you feel the sky and you connect. And we need to have that connection with our whole atmosphere of Tathagatagarbha. And we need to maintain the place in the same way that, with the same spirit, actually, that we sit Zazen, you know. So, As a monk practicing here, it's important, you know, our practice starts from here. And in the zendo, we just have this little seat that we sit on. But our practice extends throughout the whole zendo. We become the whole zendo. And our room, where we live, our space where we live, should be taken care of in the same way that we take care of the zendo.

[53:19]

We have somebody every day who cleans the zendo and takes care of the cushions and the lights and the lamps. Every day the zendo is a sparkling place. And our own place, our own living space, should have the same quality. We should take care of everything, not just the zindo. Take care of your clothes, keep your clothes washed, keep your clothes repaired. Patches are fine. There's nothing wrong with patches. Even if you have only one robe, you should take care of that one robe. Sometimes, we call it patch road monk, right? And we like to have salty clothes, That's a term we use in the Marines in the Navy. Salty clothes and old salts, you know, well washed.

[54:24]

But no matter what can, you know, how old things are, we still should take care of them. And in the kitchen, you know, we take care of all the pots and pans, you know, if they're our old friends, right? And some pots and pans go up above, some things go in the middle, some things go down below. And they all have their place, and you put them back in the same place. And pretty soon, there's a kind of worn, broken-in feeling, you know? When you put something away the first time, it doesn't have a place there. But after you do it over and over, it has a place. And it works its way into that place, just like a wheel going around and around seats itself after a while.

[55:29]

So, we don't throw out things just because they're old. As a matter of fact, knowing how to use something completely up is a wonderful practice. use something over and over and use it until it's completely used up and it becomes very familiar and we conserve the energy of things and we appreciate the energy of things and when we interact with objects the objects are actually creating us creating our activity and it's a give and take with objects and with people and objects. So the way we handle things and the way we put things away and the way we put a knife on the table, it's just the same way that we lay out our orioke. So, you know, if we know how to lay out orioke in this wonderful way where everything is done precisely and with feeling and sensitivity,

[56:44]

That should transfer to everything we do. So where you put something down makes a difference. Where do you put your cup? Do you just put it down on the table? Do you put it on top of a book? Or if I'm going to put something down on this table in front of me, I have to think, where does it go? Where does it fit amongst all these other things? Where does it have its own space? This vase has its space. This cup has its space. The lamp has its space. And how do these things relate to each other? So when I put something down, I'm always thinking about, how will this relate to all the other things there when I put it down? And when you line things up on the altar, you have to think about, you can't just put them on the altar. you have to think about where do they line up and how do they relate to all the other things on the altar.

[57:50]

So when we put, you know, the Buddha is a little off, you know, he's an old Buddha and he's been repaired and he doesn't sit straight and that's okay, you know, but there's some balance that he has with everything. Anyway, just like, you know, if you take a post, a tree trunk like that and you put it up as a post, of course it's not straight, but you have to put it up in such a way that it harmonizes with its surroundings. Otherwise it looks crooked. But a crooked post looks straight when you harmonize it with its surroundings. And how do you find that angle where the post is actually straight even though it's crooked? And how do we find our balance even though we're crooked? All of us are crooked. But we have to find our balance with everything and our relationship to everything moment by moment. So, taking care of things is very important.

[58:53]

Yeah. What you just mentioned that came to my mind was a thing that Ram told us about, you know, carelessly just moving a sabbaton with your feet. Right. And then he yelled at... Actually, it wasn't even him that did it, but it was another person, but he yelled at him. Yeah. How is that important? It's easy to go into Zen when your foot moves in Zazen. You have to use your whole body to do something. In Zazen, you use your whole body and mind to do this one thing. And then when you move off the tan, you straighten up your thing, your cushion, with whole body and mind. and then you bow with your whole body and mind, and you chant with your whole body and mind, and then when you walk out of the zendo, light. So when you line something up, when you arrange the altar, you have to find out, well, then there's this Manjushri statue at the bottom.

[60:00]

Well, how does he relate to the Buddha statue? And then there's the incense burner. And the Manjushri statue, sits on this strange piece of wood, the divisions of which are not equal. And so when you go to arrange the incense burner, well, where is the center? It's very hard to line it up. So how do you intuit or line up with your eye the center of everything? So that even though they're off center, they have to be centered. So this is what you should be thinking about when you put something on the altar, how to align everything with the Buddha's nose so that it's a straight line, a vertical line. And if you do that, there will be some crookedness, but everything will be straight. Whenever I come to the altar, I go, you're so fuzzy.

[61:04]

There's a lot about taking care of things and, you know, who takes care of them, how they're taking care of them, when they're taking care of them. And it seems to me that everyone is kind of taking care of something. Yes. Like, you know, people say there's another taking care of something, and they're working in the kitchen or, you know, running around fixing the plumbing or something like that. Who's taking care of something? And it occurs to me that while we're doing it, Any of those things, sometimes we push our, we get, we go past the limit of a certain time. And I think that's also an interesting way of taking care of things. When you see, you know, like sometimes when you're sitting, somebody on their knee will sort of hurt and they won't be able to sit anymore. Or somebody will be working and they'll cut themselves or, you know, that sort of thing. And I think that that's included in taking care of is also always seeing our relationship with everything and how it gets moved out of balance and how it gets fixed forever.

[62:09]

Right, oh yeah, it's continual. And you just always kind of worry about this, this thing, you know, going past the limit and then trying to go back, or, you know, sort of starting to fall asleep in the center all the time and then trying to go back. Right. So that's how it works, you know. We push our limits and then we come back to And then we go below and we come back up. And so we're always doing that, all the time. Yeah. And that tells us where we are, actually. Yeah, that's how we know where we are. And children do that, you know, they push the limits, you know, and then you tell them where the center is. Vocally. And it's hard training. They're always pushing the limits. But... So taking care of our place, taking care of the building is really important. That's why sitting zazen, if we emphasize one thing too much, then we lose our balance.

[63:13]

And it may feel good to do something, to sit a lot of zazen or something at the expense of our surroundings. And it also can be not so good to emphasize taking care of our surroundings and not sitting much zazen. So how to keep that balance going all the time, so that we're taking care of things, we're sitting Zazen, and, you know, and have a harmonious practice. That's what we should all be thinking about. I saw some... Barbara? I was thinking what you were just saying, that it's real tricky too, because if I concentrate too much on being concerned with where that limit is, then I'll never experience the limit. Because I'll go back. I'll only be protecting myself by going back. And at the same time, if I'm not attentive to that limit, I can destroy something.

[64:24]

So to find it and push yourself to it... Well, there are two types of people who represent the two extremes. One type of person is the one that's always pushing the limits, you know, always out there. And that person says, take it easy, you know, calm down. And there's the one that's always holding back, you know, never, never comes up, you know, come on. So one of them, you push down, the other one you push up, so they kind of find the middle ground. You said that when you were younger, you found it more practice. Say that again? I thought you said that you would go outside. Oh, yeah. What did I mean by that? I left off there. I didn't say that there was no way to practice outside. No, I didn't say that.

[65:24]

That's not what I said at all. I said, the atmosphere of the zendo, when you walk in the zendo, there's an atmosphere of practice. And when you walk out of the zendo, it's a different atmosphere. Seemingly. Seems to be a different atmosphere. And then I said that you have to bring the atmosphere of practice to the world. I know you do. Not what I said, though. Why would I say such a thing as that? I'm thinking that maybe there's bigger cycles than we're aware of. It's the idea to take care of the microcosm and the macrocosm will take care of itself.

[66:26]

It seems that we need to pay attention to those. Just what you just said. I didn't quite hear that. Well, it's the idea that if you take care of the microcosm, the macrocosm will take care of itself. Just take care of one thing and everything else will be harmonious. Well, we can generalize in various ways. It just takes a little bit of thinking to make a different statement. Should I clarify what I'm talking about? I don't want to make a lot of general statements. Can I clarify what I'm talking about? If we take care of what's in front of us now, then that leads to the next thing that happens. So if you try to take care of that, the future, by projecting the future, there is no such thing. There's only this. So by taking care of this, then the next step comes out of this step.

[67:32]

That's what I mean by we take care of the future by taking care of the present. Yeah, what I'm trying to say is I just get intimations of larger issues, larger phenomena. You mentioned the 8400 year cycle, and sometimes I think it's important to think How does this affect that? Or, you know, it's just the bigger goes to the smaller, so you just have to stick with the smaller. You know, like you have to kind of line up the incense to the Buddha and Manjushri, but maybe there's big guardian spirits that are, that you aren't paying attention to them or something. There's other, I just think that it's hard, I think it was easier when I was thinking last time you were talking about your life and the dharma.

[68:37]

You can't change the dharma, but you can change your life. And ultimately you want it to be the same. But it seems that there's more to it than we're aware of. And it's bigger than that. Bigger than what? Well, what we're talking about, what we're thinking about, our experience, there's always an outside. There is? Are you sure? Well, it seems like when I read in the books and things, it says, you know, it can't be contained by your conscious mind and all that sort of thing. So we're trying to focus on something. So if it can't be contained by a conscious mind, then what? Well, that's my question. Is it? I hope so. So what is your question? Well, my question is just how to churn my life, or to see my life as perfect, or as the Dharma, not to have a gap.

[69:38]

The way to do that is to line up the incense bowl with the Buddha's nose. There's also a sense that when you see the 84 steps, the kalpas, whatever it is, then the thing that you're doing right in front of you, you can move. Yes. But it's only when you see that, you think that this is the only moment you have, you know, that this is very important, what you are doing right now, that you have this anxiety. Well, you don't have to have anxiety. Then there's no way to wind it up. When there's that fast... That's right. You know, you can do this, right? You can do this. Suzuki Roshi used to say, but if you try to catch the tail of a comet, people will pity you. You can do this. And everything is there.

[70:40]

The whole comet is there. The whole universe is right there. Where is the center of the universe? Go find it. I've been working with Jack, and one of the things we were doing was chopping wood by putting a piece of wood on a chopping block and coming down on it or even lifting a load of mud with a shovel. And just to Jack, you know, because, you know, there is this vast span of time, maybe 6,000 years, that we're aware of. It's a righteous thing in the past. This axe coming down on a piece of wood. Exactly here. Here's the wood. Cracked and split.

[71:42]

This is all a celebration. It's a rarity. It's a good thing. I love it. I love it. It's a show. It's the next thing that happens. You know, after I go to school. Learning how to use a shovel is an art. It's very hard to use a shovel. But there's a way of doing it that has to be learned, actually. And, you know, there was a guy here one time who loved to shovel.

[72:49]

And he would shovel all day long in the garden. And he wouldn't do anything else. And he'd just go through the whole garden, shoveling all day long. And he was just this little skinny guy, you know? He wasn't some big... just a little skinny guy. But he knew somehow his body was in harmony with this stick with the spade on the bottom of it. And using that together with this heavy earth, you know? Turning it over and over and over and over. And getting into the rhythm of that. A really remarkable practice he had. I remember the first time that I went out to... I got a job digging a ditch. You know, I got this... I was about 20, you know, and I got a pick, you know. And the foreman came over and he said, son, you should go home. Did you want to say something, Columbo?

[73:59]

Didn't Rinzai go to Wangbo and didn't he ask a question like, what is the... fundamental principle of Buddhism? Yeah, yeah, he asked a question like that. So I was just thinking that kind of the point that came up for me for both these stories was having nothing to rely on. And, you know, I don't know if that's what Huang Bo meant when he hit Renzai, but... and then the phrase actualizing the fundamental point comes up. Because here we see Renzai taking it upon himself to do these activities. Nobody else is going to do it. Nobody else. But these blows are pointing to Rinzai. Where is it? It's there. And I'm going to make you feel it where it is. It's not out there someplace. It's right there. So you feel it? There it is. Pointing back to him.

[75:01]

Where is Buddha? So, that's right, and look for it here, don't look for it out there. How do you work with the situation where if we're taking care of something or things in general in a community, different people have different ideas of what that means? What what means? Taking care of things, like an obsessive compulsive taking care of things. Right, emptying ashtrays all day long? Yeah. Right, so we have to be careful of doing something compulsive. Going thoroughly, or going beyond thoroughly. Right, good point. But I also want to say something else. Which was, I'll get back to that point, okay? But the things that happen to us are Wong Po's stick. All the stuff that happens to us is Wong Po's stick. And instead of

[76:04]

putting the blame out there. Why did you hit me? Why did you do this to me? Blah, blah, blah. If you're looking for Buddha here, everything that happens to you points to, where's Buddha now? Where's your practice now? The most difficult thing that happens to you, that's the point at which, where's Buddha now? Where's my practice now? And if you can use your difficulties to find yourself, that's practice. That's what practice is. You know, you sit up there in the zendo and your legs aching, you know? Sitting on your eggs. That's the point where you have to find yourself.

[77:09]

That's what it's all about. So, going outside the zendo, you know, that's what I meant by you go outside the zendo and then there are all these things that happen to you. And it's the same thing. So, your question again? Oh yeah, overdoing it. Yeah, be careful, you know. Excessive compulsive cleaning, no good. And that's, you know, there are problems with Soto Zen, you know. One of the problems with Soto Zen is the third time you do something, you have to keep repeating it, you know. If you do something in the Zendo, we decide to make a little change in Zendo, means that it becomes, after you do it two or three times, it means that's the way you always do it, you know? And it looks like, well, that's the history of Soto Zen since the beginning of time, so we shouldn't change anything, you know?

[78:15]

It's not right. So, there is no set way, there is a way of doing things, and we go along and do things, but everything can be changed. And, You know, to find the right balance for everything. How do you find the right balance? When you can do something easily, when you do formal practice easily, then it just feels natural. It doesn't feel like formal practice anymore. And, you know, we clean, after every... I don't know how often we... re-do the incense bowls. How often do we re-do the incense? Do we sip the incense bowls? Once. Once a day? That's pretty good. I remember during Sashim, we used to do it more often. Three times a day or something, you know. And I think that's kind of compulsive behavior.

[79:18]

To do it to... Every time, you know, you put a stick of incense in and there's this little hole there, you have to do something about the incense burner, you know. I mean, at Heiji, It's all full of these little things. It's just not this compulsiveness to keep everything perfect. Jack, you mentioned, how can I be perfect? You said that. That's not the practice. The practice is not to try to be perfect. The practice is to do your best. To do your best on every activity. That's the practice. And when you do that, then everything you do is perfect. But if you try to make everything perfect, you go nuts. And then you expect perfection from everybody. I don't expect perfection from everybody. I don't expect perfection from anybody. I just expect that you'll do your best. And when you do your best, then it's perfect.

[80:23]

So what do we do next? How do we do this? After we finish here, there will be a Han, starting 10 minutes after we finish here. Then we'll go back to the Bendo. And then at noon service, we do the celebration of Dogen's birthday. So while you're sitting zazen, the Doans set up the altar for that. And we will chant the self-fulfillment. which is the same as the self-enjoyment samadhi, and in your books it's under the panel of, On the Endeavor of the Way. Ji-ju-yu is am I, you know. Ji-ju-yu can mean either self-joyous or self-fulfilling. So sometimes it's nice to say self-joyous, you know, and sometimes it's nice to say self-fulfilling. Somewhere in between. It's self-fulfilling, therefore it's self-joyous. That's the way I think about it.

[81:38]

So basically it's self-fulfilling. It means that you feel connected with everything. And that's a very joyous feeling called enlightenment. And then we have lunch and then regular continuation in the afternoon. We are an institution.

[82:14]

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