Yesterday I talked about the mindfulness of breathing in conjunction with the four foundations of mindfulness. Mindfulness of the body, mindfulness of the feelings, of the mind and mind objects. These are the four foundations of mindfulness. And yesterday I talked about the first one, which is the foundation, the body, the breath, and the mind. And when the body, the breath, and the mind are in harmony with one another, and there is no separation, then this provides a foundation to investigate the feelings.

[01:08]

It's kind of nice because there's this wonderful body and breathing and mind in harmony. There's great support to investigate the feelings. The feelings feel supported by the body, the breath, and the mind. Feelings are sometimes, in Buddhism, are classified as to pleasant, unpleasant, and neutral. pleasant, unpleasant and neutral feelings in the body and pleasant, unpleasant and neutral feelings of the mind. Sometimes they say that unpleasant feelings lead to aversion and pleasant feelings lead to grasping

[02:25]

And neutral feelings are sometimes based on ignorance. Sometimes the one that says, well, I can't make up my mind, or I don't know, so I'll stay in the middle. That's a kind of, sometimes a kind of ignorance. So sometimes neutral feelings get moved by the force of either strong feelings of aversion or strong feelings of grasping. But neutral feelings, in a sense, are more pleasant than unpleasant. So neutral feelings are hopefully transformed by pleasant feelings.

[03:34]

So, feelings of the body and feelings of the mind. We say, I have pain or the body feels painful or good or restful or so forth in the mind. And there's so many feelings that it's impossible to describe them all. But they're emotional feelings also. And emotion is a step up from feelings. Feelings is a kind of base for emotions. But fundamentally, feelings are just feelings. You can say, I have a painful feeling in my legs, and that's just a feeling. And then you can say, I don't like it. That's a kind of emotional feeling that builds on the painful feeling.

[04:52]

And then that can escalate into, as a matter of fact, I hate it, or I detest it, or... And then there's rage, and so forth. So, emotion is kind of like a balloon, which is based on feeling, and also based on mind, because it escalates because of our thought. starts in the body, maybe, and escalates through thinking. So emotion belongs to both the body and the mind. Emote is an interesting word. I looked it up in the dictionary, and if you just take the E away from emotion, then you have motion. to be moved by something.

[05:56]

You say, I'm moved by something. And so the feeling that you have is expanded or moved or escalated. The purpose of Buddhist meditation is to find freedom within our life. I remember one time, Bishop Sumi used to come to Zen Center a long time ago and help Suzuki Roshi with sashins. And he had a stick, like this one, with writing on it, like that. And I used to go around and hit everybody with it.

[07:01]

And I said, what's written on that stick anyway? He said, free of everything. That's all he said. He didn't explain it. He just said, free of everything. But I understood what he meant, emotionally. The purpose of Buddhist meditation is to be free of everything. So when we have a feeling, we just see it as feeling. To be able to see everything just as it is. without aversion or grasping. Pretty simple. But not so easy.

[08:05]

When we have pain in our legs, not so easy to say, please come in. when we have a lot of anger in our mind, pretty easy to say, I mean, pretty difficult to say, go away, or let go. But in Zazen, and in our life, The main thing for our practice, for training ourself and for understanding the non-duality of our life, is to be able to see everything as it is, without aversion or grasping.

[09:37]

So the sutra says, when some feeling arises, the feeling arises with the awareness of breath. This feeling of pain arises with the awareness of breathing. This anger arises with the awareness of breathing. This lust arises with the awareness of breathing. This greed arises with the awareness of breathing. This agitation arises with the awareness of breathing. So there's no grasping or aversion, just awareness. Just bare awareness. And feeling is permeated with the breath.

[10:50]

Feeling is permeated with the breath. And also, the feeling is permeated with the intense light of concentration and mindfulness. During Sashin, our consciousness becomes extremely concentrated, and what appears insignificant and small in ordinary life becomes quite large and takes up all the space in our mind. So if you have a little bit of pain in your legs, it becomes a big thing. It takes up all the space in your mind.

[11:57]

So whatever comes up, whatever feeling comes up, to illuminate that feeling, with concentration and attentiveness and openness. If we fight, we lose. You can't fight reality. you always lose. So, all you can do is be one with it. Whatever comes up, whatever feeling, either the body or the mind, to just be one with that feeling. Being one with the feeling means there's nothing opposite this feeling.

[13:05]

This feeling has no opposite. Pain is just pain. When you want to change it, it becomes suffering. Agitation is just agitation. But when you don't like it, it becomes suffering. Worry is just worry. Nothing outside of worry. Just let it come and let it go. One thing replaces another. In the Soto,

[14:06]

school of Zen, the teachers often talk about emotion thought. That emotion, they put the two words together, emotion thought. Emotion thought is the thinking and feeling that comes up and divides the world for us. Without clinging to emotion thought, everything in the universe is one piece. You are one with everything, without discrimination. But when emotion thought, when we cling to emotion thought, when we see it as real, the world becomes divided. and then we fall into suffering and confusion.

[15:21]

So we have to be very careful about our associations. Pain is just pain. But when we discriminate it, it becomes suffering. The feelings we have are just feelings. The emotions we have are like balloons based on the feelings. Balloon is, we go, and it gets bigger and bigger and bigger. And pretty soon we're carried away by emotion thought, thinking and worrying.

[16:26]

Emotion thought, which is a product of dwelling or clinging to feelings, is called the covering, which obscures the light of Buddha nature. When we sit in zazen, And Sazen is, without trying to do anything actually, to just let things be, to sit up straight and let things be, this light naturally shines. When we start to worry and become agitated, become attached to feelings, the light becomes dimmer.

[18:08]

And when we let go, it becomes stronger. And even though it becomes dimmer, by the end of Sashin, you feel that you're full of light. Anyway. So, we come kind of in and out, you know, being attached. and non-attached. It's not so easy. Even with our attachment, if you make it all the way through this sasheen for seven days, you'll feel full of light, which is just our own natural, true nature, obscured usually by emotion thought. And if you just watch the mind and the body on the foundation of calm peacefulness, whatever comes up, if it's permeated with the breath, will be transformed into peacefulness or settledness.

[19:28]

No matter how strong your emotions or how strong your feelings, If you keep a constant attentiveness to the breath, the feelings will be transformed into peacefulness, even though they're still there. If you have an angry thought, If you keep your attention on the breath and investigate the thought, then it's no longer an angry thought, even though the angry thought is still there. whatever difficulty comes up, feelings in the body or feelings of the mind, emotions, as we pay attention to the breath within them, we settle more and more, deeper and deeper, deeper and deeper.

[21:02]

So, Zazen and Sashin There's no progress. We only go deeper. We don't go somewhere. We just go deeper and deeper into our peaceful, original mind. And then we live in a very joyful way. But the joy is not dependent on whether we have good feelings or bad feelings. Joy is a very deep river that appears with this accomplishment. We have to make some choice.

[22:06]

At some point, in our life as to how we're going to live our life and what it's about. For Bodhisattva, life means to live in enlightenment, live in the realm of non-duality, or live in the realm which is free from everything, while in the midst of everything. That means that instead of giving way to anger, you live in settledness, calmness. Instead of giving way to greed or restlessness, you live in calmness of mind.

[23:19]

And you have to make some decision about how you want to live. Do we want to live in freedom or do we want to allow ourselves to be tossed around or pulled around by our feelings and emotions? This is a really important point. We're all, to some extent, pulled around by our feelings and emotions. But we should know what the point of our life is. We should know the direction and goal of our life and what to work on. The main thing, I think, for a Zen student to work on, for us to work on in our life, is to not let that light be covered over.

[25:05]

If we want to live in enlightenment, then Enlightenment should be our goal and we should take the cover off. But it's not easy to take the cover off because we like to live deeply in our emotions and in our feelings. hard to detach ourselves unless we have great determination. It means when given a slap, not to return a slap, There are, you know, the seven factors of enlightenment or awakeness.

[26:46]

One is attention, investigation of the dharmas, energy, enthusiastic joyfulness, settledness or calmness of mind, and equanimity. These factors is what we should keep in mind all the time when we're practicing. And the citra says, when practicing meditation, is attentiveness in my mind?

[27:51]

Is investigating the dharmas present? Is energy present? Is joyful Enthusiasm present? Is equanimity present? Equanimity means non-discrimination. To see everything as it is, not colored by my thought about it or my desire about it. Not, you know, if we think too much about something then we start to change it or color it.

[29:03]

If we have pain in our legs, and we start to think about it. And when we start to think about it, we start to color it. But if you can just leave it alone, and just follow it, let your mind investigate it, not by thinking about it, but just by following it. This, whatever it is, this feeling, Just let it be. This is equanimity. Just let it be. If you have an angry thought, just let it be.

[30:09]

If you have an agitated thought, just let it be. If you have a lustful thought, just let it be. Let it come up, let it be with the breath. The important thing is with the breath. You know, when you're sitting sashin and you can't stand up and you can't stay there, all you can do is breathe. One breath after the next. That's all. That's wonderful. That's really focused attention. We're forced

[31:17]

into this enlightened activity, which you won't do unless you're forced. That's true. There you are. You can't leave and you can't stay and you have to do something. You just have to let go of everything. It's wonderful and awful. It's the great pit of suffering and it's the great world of nirvana. So just watch the feelings, in the feelings with the breath.

[33:05]

We have this, the feelings together with the body, the breath, and mindfulness, mindful attention, are a wonderful support system, mutual support system. And if they're all present, in settledness, with calmness of mind, you can sit here a long time in peace, even though you have a big problem. Actually, without the big problem, You can't have the big piece. But if you avoid the problem, you'll never find the piece.

[34:25]

If you avoid the problem, you'll never know who you are completely. So, sasheen is hard work, really hard work, but most satisfying kind of hard work. For some of us, It may be the hardest work you ever did or you've ever done. Do you have some questions?

[35:39]

Mm-hmm. Yeah. She said she feels like she has big balloons full of emotions. And she feels like she's suppressing them, sitting on them, keeping them down, right? Well, just breathe into them. If you breathe into them, you can let them be. Don't suppress anything. Suppression is aversion. Now, the most fundamental thing about this sutra is not to be caught by suppression or aversion or grasping.

[37:12]

Okay? If something comes up, Let it come up big. Let it fill you completely, but keep to your breath. In other words, you can let something come up and pull you around. You don't want it to pull you around, but you can let it come up. If you let it pull you around, then you're losing something. You're losing your calm mind if you let it pull you around. The calmness of our mind is most fundamental to sustain a calmness of mind which is supported by the breath.

[38:15]

in the most difficult situation, breath and calmness of mind. Calmness of mind means nothing can shake you, nothing can move you off your place, nothing can move you from the sweetness of your mind. When the balloon comes up, just let it come. Welcome it, but don't feed it. Everything is welcome, but you don't have to take it all up with feelings.

[39:21]

Feelings want some resolution. They need an object. So there's an object which corresponds to a feeling. The object of meditation is to stay within the body and the breath with calmness of mind, and not let anything disturb you. But it doesn't mean to suppress. It means to see through everything. To see things as they really are means to be able to see their nature, to see through them. When an emotion comes up, you have to be able to see through the emotion, because emotions have no roots.

[40:24]

They're balloons. I don't say we shouldn't feel emotions and they don't feel real. They do feel real. But in reality, they're just balloons. They can go up and they can deflate. And another one can come up and it can deflate. And Ordinarily, we like to take up balloons, emotional balloons. It makes us feel alive. But to see through them, and to see their nature, and to understand what they really are, is what you're doing here. Resolved, yes. Everything is resolved in the breath.

[41:27]

Everything. All emotion thought is resolved in the breath. Dharmas are emotion, thoughts. Any object of mind is a dharma. Whatever comes into mind is a dharma. So whatever feeling or thought is present is a dharma. There are various ways to investigate. Happiness is the result of awareness of reality.

[42:31]

Joy and happiness. Joy is sometimes described as somebody crawling through the desert and they see an oasis, which brings joy. And then they go over and they drink the water, which brings happiness. I can't hear you. What is a mirage? Well, you have to drink the water for yourself. Can you see it?

[43:40]

I almost know what you mean, but I can't quite put it all together. There's also no end to happiness. There's no end to happiness or suffering. The resolve has to be moment by moment. We live our life moment by moment. It's not like there's some big long line of happiness and some big long line of suffering into infinity.

[45:07]

We live our life moment by moment. One moment is a moment of happiness, another is a moment of suffering. So, and sometimes we see them alternating, suffering and happiness, happiness and suffering, right? That's called samsara, the undulation of life in which happiness and suffering follow each other. But nirvana is where happiness and suffering are simultaneous. They go with each other, they belong to each other. A moment of happiness is a moment of suffering, and a moment of suffering is a moment of happiness. That's right.

[46:51]

I didn't say there was no suffering. I said there was freedom from suffering. See, pain, yes, we can separate pain from suffering. You have to do that. Pain is pain, and suffering is the result of something. But pain is just pain. It can be or not be suffering or a cause of suffering. Suffering is something associated with pain. When you break down these dharmas smaller and smaller, you realize that what we're talking about is just concepts and words. Pain is a certain kind of feeling. Suffering is an associated feeling that sometimes arises with pain of one kind or another. And although suffering exists, there's possible to have some freedom from it through understanding.

[48:26]

through seeing its nature. But it's like saying, does an enlightened person have suffering? You can't ignore suffering. If I say, there's no suffering, or you can get out of that, that I'd be transmigrated as a fox for 700 lifetimes. So, if we have suffering, then we have to be able to accept our suffering.

[49:35]

But if we try to get out of it, then that's real suffering. That's right. You really give it a power over you. Yeah, that's right. Now that I'm in this space, without reading, talking, watching movies, doing normal things, I feel like an endless tape in my head. It doesn't bother me too much.

[50:39]

I don't know what is the meaning of that. But it's because your mind is dwelling on little things instead of the Dharma. Yeah, little things. You can, you know, when the mind starts wandering, just bring it back. Yeah, don't let the mind, you know, the mind will wander, just bring it back. You have all kinds of commentary on your life, but just keep bringing your attention back to the breath and the activity. You're very near to tying to, well, you know, kind of near to tethering the ox to the post.

[51:48]

But you like to let him graze. Sometimes it seems difficult to distinguish between bringing the mind back from wandering and suppressing a thought. Well, suppressing is to sit on something and not let it come up. And to keep the mind from wandering means to let go of something. you have a potato in your hand, you know, and it's getting too hot, so you let it go. You just let it go because it's getting too hot. So, letting go of thoughts, you don't push them away, that's aversion.

[52:54]

You know, if the mind is wandering and so forth, or something comes in that you don't like, and you push it away. That's aversion. Just let it come. When you let something come, then you get bigger and bigger. You have to get bigger and bigger in order to accommodate it. And if you resist, you can't grow. So we have to be big enough to Let everything be there without pushing it away and without holding on to it. It's all plumbing. I must say that if you want to learn about Buddhism, just study plumbing. Seven factors Mm-hmm.

[54:13]

Yeah, uh-huh Well Go ahead and get carried away The problem is, when it's no longer any fun, then you get disappointed. So, you have to be careful of that. We rush into practice, and it's kind of fun for a while, and then after a while, it just becomes ordinary. And when it becomes ordinary, that's when it becomes very deep. Ordinary practice, very deep. Beginning practice, the enthusiasm, you know, is wonderful, and it should be there.

[55:15]

But in ordinary practice, we have to have very deep, subtle enthusiasm, which is very steady. Very, very steady. So it has a different rhythm and different character to it. It's like the plow is digging deeper, so it's going slower. But what it's bringing up is deeper stuff. We have to be able to do that when we get to that place where our youthful enthusiasm is no longer carrying us. We have to be able to carry the load and go slower and deeper. And the enthusiasm is there, but it has a different characteristic.

[56:22]

And joy that comes up is more like a deep underground river. You know, it isn't so apparent, but it supports, sustains everything. And you always feel it. Okay, this is the last question. Yeah, well, I would say as an example for this session, to make every effort to just sit really still and keep the mind on the breath and keep returning to the subject, which is breathing into whatever comes up and paying attention to the foundation, the body and the breath. and letting the thoughts come, arise, and disappear.

[57:33]

But really sit still. If you can sit still through whatever is going on on the surface of your body and mind, then your practice will naturally be very deep. If you can really sit still through whatever's going on, don't move, no matter how much you want to. Then your practice will just go... And you'll be filled with wonderful light. Thank you very much.

[58:27]

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