steps of the Buddha have brought us to this room. Let us end all doubt and meet the Dharma. Each and every place is the gateway to the truth. Each and every form is the gateway to the truth. Each and every form and appearance is utterly unique, unlike any other. Inside

[01:26]

without any flame is a raging fire. Is there some place where things are different than this? How is it in the place where you live? Is there some place where things are different than this?

[02:56]

Is there some place where things are different than this? Sahara Goto, when you spoke of the farmer and the deer, it was the deer who looked up and sang, and when you spoke of quitting smoking, it was your chest who told you that it didn't feel good. If our practice is too hard, it's like the farmer going out to kill the deer. If it's too soft, it doesn't work either. How do we encourage the deer to look up and

[04:00]

sing to us? Open-hearted kindness. I thought you'd say that. I didn't think of what my response would be. You might consider what's holding it back and let go of it. Like a dam bursting in water flows. Thank you.

[05:01]

Swim like a fish, fly like a bird. I say, fish fly, birds swim. Isn't it wonderful? Sahara Goto, what do you say? Isn't it wonderful? Isn't it wonderful? Is that all just wonderful? In the end, what difference does it make? Thank you very much. I build a wall to protect myself from my own suffering. I build a wall that stops me from

[06:48]

feeling connected to other people. I have a feeling they're the same wall. How can I stop building it? What do you have in mind? It sounds like if you're building it to separate you from others, you're probably being quite successful. Is that what you want? No. I don't want separation from others or my suffering. Well, then you know what to do. Thank you. Just do what you want. Tasahara Goto, inzasen. My heart pounds, my stomach is upset, my legs ache, my thoughts

[08:03]

are distracted. I try to get out of the element that I'm in. How can I find my own place? You've been there all along. Didn't you know? No. You're still there. No matter how much you try to get away from it or to be somewhere else. So then it doesn't matter if I try to get away or not try to get away? One day you'll notice that it's useless to try to get away. Maybe today. Tasahara Goto, luminescent evening.

[09:29]

This is it. How about that? Thank you very much. Is it complete? No. Is it enough? Just enough. Tasahara Goto, I bet you know what I'm going to ask. What is this?

[10:39]

A lot of heads are rolling in the aisle. What should I do with it? The heads can be saved with that stick. Is it just a stick? Some heads rolling in the aisle. Thank you. A great fiber thing. Thank you. Tasahara Goto, naturally real or really natural,

[11:56]

with your overwhelming ordinariness you have manifested a fundamental point. How do you know? Which... I have to think. Which I feel is ultimately beyond realization or non-realization. I can call you Tasahara Goto. I can call you Ed. I can call you Sensei. These are all just names, designations that do not reveal the true nature, the true man. May I call you by your true name? Please.

[12:59]

Pain! Dear respond. Pleasure. Don't stick to your skin and cling to your bones. Pleasure! Don't stick to your skin and cling to your bones. Liberation! No, I can see it. Wow! Wow! Thank you. Thank you. Tasahara Goto. Hello. In the place where I live right now, my head feels like a bowl full of lime jello.

[14:02]

It's pretty hard to formulate a question. Suzuki Roshi said, without any intentional fancy way of adjusting yourself, just to express yourself freely the way you are, is the most important thing to make yourself happy and to make others happy. How does this happen? If it's lime jello, awkward to everyone. I don't try to serve them chocolate cake. Hmm.

[15:19]

Tasahara Goto. A young monk inquires about the way. Well, where does he come from? In the Buddha Dharma, there's no way to come from. Oh, then he already knows the way, doesn't he? I hope so. Make yourself at home. Thank you.

[16:35]

Tasahara Goto. Is there a difference between the Theravada and the Nirvana of extinction, and the Mahayana of enlightenment, awakening? Yes. It sounds to me like a question, perhaps for a scholar. I don't know much about either one of those. What do you want to know about it for? I'm interested in the Theravadan mindfulness practice, but the terminology confuses me. The terminology? Of cessation, and letting go, and going beyond.

[17:38]

It seems very much a contradiction to the kind of lecture we're giving. But the mindfulness practice seems very much important. Well, I don't understand. What's in contradiction? It seems that you've been doing a lot of lecturing about dwelling within, rather than getting rid of, trying to get rid of anything, just being mindful of everything. But then you may speak of reaching the point of Nirvana, the topic of cessation,

[18:44]

or anything, cessation, cessation of formation. How I think about it is that if we stop investing formations with reality, there's a cessation of our own investment in things as real. So, it doesn't mean that they don't exist, but they don't have power over us when we stop investing in them.

[19:46]

And one way we do that is mindfulness. Does that make sense? Yes. If you'd like to talk some other time, yes. Thank you. Thomsen Aragoda, what are ways you can know? Who are you? This changes. Who asked the question about ways to keep in mind?

[20:59]

Now, what mind was that? You know it for yourself, in yourself. You just erased it and brought it out. And in the same way, you can ask your own body and mind. Another way. Kavir says,

[22:29]

Ed is laughing, bringing great joy to everyone. I say, who brings great joy to everyone? There's a deep, deep pit. It's hard to tell. Inside or outside? Inside.

[23:37]

Inside? Are you asking that? No. Just that it's hard to tell. Inside or outside? And whether I'm in the pit or not? That's how I go to. And I'm sitting there and hear the creek and the birds and the generator.

[24:41]

And my breathing. And my heart beating. This world seems rather round and complete. Where should I put the breathing within breathing? The body within body? Where's the room for mystery? It's round and complete without any room for mystery. So what's the mystery? Is there some?

[25:46]

Birds and creek, generator. Let things come home to the heart. At that time, the heart is invisible. Identical with things. Should we call it a mystery? We look for something else? I don't know.

[27:00]

You talked about mystery this morning. What did you mean? I don't know. Oh, that mystery. It depends how you say that line. I was thinking. Just like what you said. What sort of mystery is this? That was a hard riddle. In what soil does healthy effort thrive? Healthy effort thrives on its home turf. Returning home.

[28:07]

Even when it goes elsewhere. Do you want to know about the home turf? Yes. I don't think so. No. Thank you. I think you know. I'm well enough. Tosahara Goto.

[29:27]

Is any of this stuff we're doing serious business? Well, I've been thinking that I've been rather serious tonight. But I don't... That's not to say that it's serious business. It's so much fun to laugh with you. Well, I think of it as this laughing is serious business. Is it important? I was thinking it was serious business to remember that it's not serious business.

[30:30]

Yeah, that's kind of the same thing. But still, it's a life and death. Tosahara Goto. What about when you suddenly meet another person's eyes? There's no escape. I don't know.

[31:33]

I don't know. And... We realize that there's no same or difference. Seems different. What do you mean? I mean between you. You know, what's behind the eyes. How is it different? What is it that's different? I don't know.

[32:42]

Is there anything else? We see as far as the eye of practice can see. And... There are holes and whirls in every direction. On whatever your eyes meet. Tosahara Goto.

[33:47]

I'll speak for a moment. Just sit. I can't practice hard enough to save an ant. Um... Does the Bodhisattva vow depend on practice? Where does the power of the Bodhisattva vow come from? Excuse me, but can you start over again? I can't practice hard enough to save an ant. Yeah. There sure are a lot of ants. Okay. He wants to know. Where the power of the Bodhisattva vow comes from.

[34:52]

Does it come from practice? Only practice? If it comes from practice, what do you do if you can't practice hard enough to save an ant? If it doesn't come from practice, why practice? Wow. The power of the Bodhisattva's vow comes from each and every form and appearance. You mean like it sings out? Like it sings out. And also cries out in pain. And how does practice work? Is it necessary to practice?

[36:12]

To act on the Bodhisattva vow? Um... Mostly, without some practice. Although the power comes from each and every thing, we don't receive it. We may be busy building walls. And to have the power of the Bodhisattva vow is to realize imperturbable mind. And also to feel deeply indebted and deeply grateful.

[37:34]

Thank you. Thank you. Tessargota. Six foot tall weeds growing out of rocks. Lightly sleeping hermits. Being awakened by moonbeams. Boats drifting in the water, moved by the currents. Brittle, hard bones. Soft tissue and ligaments. Brown rice and miso soup.

[38:43]

Strong, straight back. And a calming of the breath. Like a mill where I used to be. Exactly. So what is Thiru going? Thiru. Welcome to the real world. When you stop trying to go to some imaginary place. Thank you. Yeah. Tessargota.

[39:59]

You said, some said short session, some said long. How was yours? Wait. So, just seven days, how many moments? I think I have the record of this practice period for meal drops. I dropped a chopstick. And someone picked it up and took it and bowed to the altar.

[41:08]

So that gives me two drops on the floor and one bowl of water in my lap. Each moment swallows up all the others. No problem at all. Hmm. That's a good answer. Do you want to ask another question? You want another, really? This is sort of similar. No. You're the fish in the Genjo Koan.

[42:11]

And you're trying to hook me? You got it. So, from Four Corners to now, what has been the ocean for you? Four Corners to now. You know, it really depends on whether I look at it from outside or inside. Uh... Uh... But on the other hand, from outside it doesn't look like much. And from inside...

[43:15]

Not much either. I'm not really saying what I want to say. I'm sorry. I tried for a long time to get a decent bite to eat. And I looked upon everything as food. And it wasn't very nourishing. But that isn't exactly the ocean.

[44:30]

The ocean isn't round or square. It's... Other elements are infinite in variety. I've been in that ocean. Thank you. Um... Talk to the person who's penning them in about letting them out. Why don't you?

[45:38]

They might not want to talk. They might not want to talk? Hit them to attract their attention. Two by four, eh? That's the last one. We're good now. I'm beginning to think you're dumbing around. You're coming back. I've been gone for seven days. I put the right answer on your face. Let's put the pure wine aside for a moment.

[46:43]

Just some plain advice, if you don't mind. What would you like plain advice about? This isn't the kind of plain I get that, you know, it's going to take you on a trip, right? You don't want travel suggestions, right? Well, it's fine. Huh? What? Sure. They don't want to hear anything. Each and every one is completely worthy, completely worthy of compassion. Especially, um...

[47:53]

Especially, uh... You, yourself. Also, don't, uh... Don't be, um... Don't be grudge. Don't be grudge. Compassion. For each and every one. Will it, um... Will it seem different? Compassion for myself or compassion for others? Will it seem different? Uh, you can start. Um... Anywhere with compassion and... You'll find it extends to each and every thing. But, uh, still...

[49:12]

Uh, there's someone, uh... In your right hand. Uh, who is waiting... For your compassion. And for, uh... You know, it's like... Your hand... And your chest. Your legs. And for you, too. I'll make yourself at home there. With some compassion. Thank you. Thank you.

[50:40]

Bless the heart, brother. Uh... Thirty-two saints. Thirty-two demons. When we find... The hairy beast... How do we use his rage... And craving... And strength... To ease suffering... And not to cause suffering? Um... Don't keep him locked up... In a cage. So that he has to break out in a rage... In order to do anything. What does he do when he gets out? I don't know.

[51:53]

Oh, it's like a, uh... A wooden man... And a stone man dancing. Oh, we don't know... What he would do. Gathe... Gathe... Paragate... Parasamgate... Bodhisattva... What a wonderful song. Thank you. Thank you. Bless the heart, Goto. It's getting hot up there. I brought along a Vajra's fan...

[52:54]

Just in case... You need it. That fan's a problem for me. The wind is everywhere... And it's always blowing, um... You know, you'd think a Zen master... Would have enough sense to sit and breathe. But he always fans himself. Or he fans himself when the monk bows. What happens when he stops standing? If a bird or a fish, um... If a fish leaves the water, it dies at once. If a bird leaves the air, it dies at once. What makes you think that he could stop fanning?

[54:03]

He knows he's fanning... If a bird doesn't move from the air. That, uh... Fanning or not... What difference does that make? Exactly, if the breeze is still blowing. He's continuously fanning. Like I said... What if he stops? Are you trying to say that, um... Um... That, uh... Are you, um... That you've stopped fanning? Or that you haven't started fanning? I wasn't saying I'd stopped. Or started. I want to know...

[55:05]

When you drop off the body and mind... What happens? Does it jump back up again? Do you have to re-drop it? Well, where does the dropping body and mind come in? I thought we were talking about fanning. What... Do you think he stops fanning when he drops body and mind? That's when he knows he's fanning. So why does he keep fanning? Isn't there ever... Isn't there ever a time when you just sit and relax and... Yeah, there is. That's another kind of fanning. What's the difference? When he's actually got the fan in his hand. Which one? Which one's practiced? They're both practiced. When do I get...

[56:06]

When do I get to the sitting in a breeze part? I don't know, you know... It seems to me like you're there right now, but... You don't seem to think so. No, I don't. I... You know, I see you sitting there and it seems to me the breeze is blowing and... You're just hanging out there? Just a fan, my son. You are, huh? I hadn't noticed. Well, maybe I'm not. All week... At one moment, swallowing up all the others.

[57:08]

Moment after moment. How could there be... Not any end. But fanning. Thank you. Tell me something I didn't get here. Sometimes these seminars and...

[58:13]

Deaf lectures or things that we do in the center don't... Seem to, you know... Stick. They're much backwards. And they're... It may be funny now, but... What about tomorrow morning? What about... What about when you're just walking down the path? Each and every place is a... An entry. To the truth. Each and every form of your... Better than you make. And walking down the path. Remember. But we still come...

[59:17]

To be a monster. You wonder why? Is that different? No. Then... Each place is an entry for the truth? Are you saying if so... That we come to a monastery as though... It was more true than other places? Well, it seems that... You know, maybe... Maybe each place is an entry, but... We still have some practice that we do. You know, we still come to Zazen in the morning. We still have sashimi. If each place...

[60:18]

Is an entry, why... Why do we have the... The ceremony? So we can realize that... Each place... Is an entry to the truth. Because we don't always know that. Yes. This is where I got in. Yes. And... When I came in, I had lots of questions. But now when I think of them... They all seem like vanity and meaningless chatter.

[61:20]

And I don't have anything to say. I shouldn't do that. That's a hard note. Yes. Speechless. Speechless.

[62:50]

That's a hard note. I don't know. I'm having some problem at... Maintaining my question. I enjoy other people's questions so much. But I'll try anyway. Is the Bodhisattva... Free... Of dispositional... Attitudes? Yes. Well... I would say... The Bodhisattva is gone. Does he have an intention? No. The Bodhisattva's got them.

[63:56]

How does he have them? Do they have him, or does he have them? The Bodhisattva's got them, but he's... Free of them. Would he be free? Well, that would be... Completely free. If the Bodhisattva didn't have... Dispositional. Dispositional what? I think I said attitude. Attitude, not dispositional. Attitude, yes. If the Bodhisattva was... Completely free of them... I mean, like, if they just... Weren't around... At all... I would think the Bodhisattva around at all. And...

[65:05]

The Bodhisattva... So the Bodhisattva... Has a dispositional... Attitude. But he's not... Stained... By them. What did he do with them? He's mindful... Of them. And he notices. He notices... How he notices...

[66:17]

How they... How... How closely... How they accord... With his... Fundamental vow. Does he use any of them? To save beings? By each... I'm sorry, I don't know... How to say it... It may be that...

[67:23]

You know, out of... The Bodhisattva is... Free... To act on them... Or not. And it may be that... Out of ten... He doesn't act on nine. But... But the more familiar the Bodhisattva is with... Dispositional... Attitude... The more accustomed to... Acting on them. Or... You know, this whole... Um... I'm sort of losing track of my... My train of thought, but...

[68:25]

Um... And I'm afraid, you know... I'm not giving a very short answer to... So I sort of... Think, oh my gosh, I'm going on too long. Um... But, anyway... The Bodhisattva is free to act on them or not. And... It takes some practice... To know how to... Act on them or not. But the freedom is in... Acting or not acting. That part... That's the freedom part. Having or not having... Is not so much the point. Let's get moving. Thank you. Thank you.

[69:42]

Tathagata. As Brenda's blood was oozing out of her finger this evening... I realized... How afraid I am... Of life and death. Why does it say on the Han... That life and death is a great matter? It instilled... Tremendous mindfulness. But... That mindfulness is just... Seems to be fading away as the minutes pass. So do you think we should...

[70:45]

Put a finger in front of you? Or... Perhaps there's some other alternative. What is that? Be willing to... Know your own suffering. Moment after moment. Instead of avoiding it. Thank you. Tathagata.

[71:48]

Yes, Laura. Thank you. I am not planning on saying this, but... I feel like one after another... My questions have been asked. Have they all been answered? For you? Yes.

[72:59]

I want to remember that... I want to be alive. That I want to live. Well, who's saying you shouldn't? I don't know. How about with your... Whole heart? Asking for... Your... Not to do that anymore. Does it make sense?

[74:11]

I'm not sure with all the negatives. Hmm. I think actually... She also... Wants you to live. But she's... Just overprotective. And the overprotective feels like... She doesn't want you to live. But so if she's so concerned about you...

[75:15]

She can hear... The rest of your heart. Hmm. And let her know, too, that you appreciate her concern. Not that it... Often feels like overprotective... And stifling. Is that... Okay. Okay. Hmm.

[76:22]

Hmm. [...]

[77:50]

And lastly... A journey... The long journey... Ends. Weeds flourish. Flowers fall. Flowers... Flourish. And weeds... Fall. I'm sorry for... I... I can't speak... So well.

[78:59]

But then I don't... Expect so much. And I... Wouldn't... Be here if I thought... Every answer had to be perfect. Unpacking the... Saddlebags. Taking off the blinders. This... This will do. A place to sit. And... Thank you all very much. Okay. Thank you...

[80:08]

For... For your... Kind and... Humorous... Gentle and exact way... For... Showing us so clearly how down to earth... Immediate our practice is. How necessary that it is down to earth in the beginning... To... Take care of my life. And yet also... The poetry... And the song... Not too serious. I have a short career...

[81:09]

It's... Until there's heart on heart... No happiness. I've shouted for four ages... The true forms in the heart... Thank you so much for... Sharing... For sharing your heart with us. Thank you. And you all... You all open your hearts to receive it. That's how it's possible. Thank you.

[82:29]

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