I did want to be and I do want to be with him in such a way that I am his disciple but I don’t know if I am…. I wasn’t thinking in terms of was I his disciple or not at that time. I actually didn’t think of it until he said it. I wanted to be with him in such a way that he would realize that I am there. Just in case he wanted to offer me something. I put myself in his life so that he wouldn’t miss me just in case he wanted to offer me something. I wasn’t exactly trying to get something but I knew I needed something. So I put myself in a position so that if he thought I needed something, he could give it to me. And I could tell after a while that he knew I was there, partly because he would try not to run into me. I could tell he was maneuvering around me so I could tell he knew I was there. Kind of like a cloud chamber kind of thing.

I don’t know if I am or was his disciple but I think he appreciated somebody putting himself in his way, like I think he appreciated that I was making myself a part of his life. I think he really appreciated that. I think he wanted more people to do it. And I don’t know the reasons why I got to put myself in a place where he would see me and have to deal with me. But it happened. It seems like it happened. Then since I knew he knew he was there, if he didn’t pay attention to me I knew it wasn’t because he didn’t know I was there but because he wanted to pay attention to something else. I could deal with that. It wasn’t like he might have said something to me if he knew I was there but he didn’t know I was there. No, he knew I was there. (Laughs) And then I could see how I related to the way he related to me because I was there to relate to.

One of Suzuki Roshi’s teachers, his second teacher. His first teacher he became a successor to. His second main teacher he didn’t become a successor to but he studied with him for a long time. His first teacher was Gyokujun So-on Daioshō. He lived in the same temple with him when he was a young boy until he was.. Gyokujun So-on died. Well actually Gyokujun So-on moved out of the temple and went to another temple to become the abbot and Suzuki Roshi stayed in that temple and because the abbot of his teacher’s temple. So they weren’t living together right to the end of Gyokujun So-on’s life but they lived together for a big part of Suzuki Roshi’s young years.

Gyokujun So-on died, Suzuki Roshi studied with a noted teacher who lived nearby in his temple, named Kishizawa Ian Roshi. Kishizawa Ian was a noted scholar of the Treasury of True Dharma Eyes, by ancestor Eihei Dogen. So in English we call his most original work, which he wrote in Japanese, we call it the Treasury of True Dharma Eyes, or Shobogenzo. Kishizawa Ian, Suzuki Roshi’s second teacher was a scholar, a great scholar of that extensive text. Treasury of True Dharma Eyes. Kishizawa Ian also was a scholar of the traditional ceremonies to practice intimate entrustment.

There are ceremonies for practicing intimate entrustment. For example we have the ceremony of going into the room, going into the teacher’s room and meeting the teacher. That’s one of our ceremonies. Sometimes we call that ceremony “going into the room” and sometimes we call that ceremony “dokosan” Doko means alone or solitary and “san” in this case means meeting. So it’s a meeting alone, or it’s a solitary meeting. It could be understood as you’re going into the teacher’s room and meeting the teacher alone. Or another understanding, you’re going in there and when you get in there there’s only one person there. You and the teacher is one person. So we do that ceremony of intimate entrustment of the teaching of suchness. Where there’s two people who are one.

Another ceremony which is also going into the room is this ceremony of transmtting the Dharma and Kishizawa Ian was an expert on the traditional procedures. Part of the procedures is certain documents and there’s one document that’s a diagram and the diagram says “The Iron Person Lives Here. “

The Iron Person is somebody who walks along the iron path which is thousands of miles long and the Iron Person no matter what happens they keep going along the path, the bodhisattva path. They don’t give up, no matter how difficult it is they keep going on the path of liberating all beings. The Iron Person.

So Suzuki Roshi’s second teacher Kishizawa Ian heard his teacher, Nishiari Bokusan’s, teaching about this Iron Person. Now his teacher said to him on at least one occasion, “You are not my disciple.” And do you know what Kishizawa Ian said when his teacher said, “You are not my disciple”? You don’t? Do you know what he said?. Kishizawa Ian said, “why aren’t I your disciple?” and his teacher, Suzuki’s Roshi’s second teacher’s teacher who told him he wasn’t his disciple said, “Because when you walk by me on your way to the toilet, you don’t bow to me or if I’m lounging around you don’t bow to me. That’s why you’re not my disciple.” Then later Kishizawa Ian heard his teacher talking abou the Iron Person and he was really moved by his teacher’s teaching so he had this idea that I would really like my teacher to make me, to calligraphy “Iron Person Lives Here” for me. But in that intimate entrustment between them, which involved the teacher saying to the student, “You are not my disciple.” In that intimate conversation they were having, whenever the disciple asked for something, the teacher did not give it. So, Kishizawa Ian thought if I ask him for this calligraphy, he won’t give it to me.

(Laughs) I just thought of a funny thing which I am going to tell you about.

So then Kishizawa Ian’s teacher, whose name was Bokusan had a friend, an older man, and whatever that older man asked for, he always gave it to him. Now I can’t say whether that older man was his disciple or not. I can’t say. I don’t know! But the story is that whatever that person ask for, Bokusan gave it to him. So Kishizawa Ian went to the old man and asked him to ask his teacher for the calligraphy, “Iron Person Lives Here’ The old man said ok and he want to Bokusan and he said, “Would you calligraphy Iron Person Lives Here” for me? And Bokusan said, “It’s not for you is it?” And the old man confessed. And Bokusan started to cry and said, “My disciple has understood.” But I still don’t know but I like the story.

This is another story that I don’t know about that I tell you so that you can not know about it to. Especially if you like it, if you love it, take care of it because now you have it. However you may not remember it so I can tell it to you again sometime.

19 min.