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Collective Awakening Through Sangha Wisdom

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RB-03879

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Door-Step-Zen

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The talk discusses the potential changes and developments for the Door-Step-Zen practice, emphasizing a shift towards a more collective involvement of the Sangha and the possibility of decentralizing the teaching role. The conversation also touches on the importance of koan study, the lineage's resilience across generations, and the potential to develop a stronger Sangha presence by encouraging members to take on teaching roles in various forms. Dialogue among participants and the facilitation of group discussions are highlighted as key to fostering a deeper engagement with Zen practices.

  • Abhidharma: Mentioned as a potential topic for seminars led by knowledgeable members within the Sangha, emphasizing the importance of deepening understanding of traditional Buddhist teachings.
  • Winter Branches: A concept introduced as a metaphor for latent potential and renewal within the practice, inspired by historical teachings and transformations observed in Zen's adoption in America.
  • Koan Study: Highlighted as a significant, yet challenging, aspect of Zen practice that requires deep historical and philosophical understanding, underscoring its importance in cultivating personal and collective growth within the Sangha.
  • Suzuki Roshi: Referred to in the context of koan study, exemplifying the educational lineage and the depth of expertise necessary for leading advanced Zen sessions.
  • Sangha as Teacher: The discussion emphasizes the role of collective wisdom and mutual learning within the group, empowering members to explore and transmit teachings collaboratively.

AI Suggested Title: Collective Awakening Through Sangha Wisdom

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Transcript: 

We've been having a discussion. And I liked it yesterday that there was a discussion back and forth after the Tay show that wasn't just about me, it was about you talking to each other. Because to me, if I'm always the focus of the conversation, I feel a little bit... Yeah, I don't like it too much all the time. Yeah, and what sometimes we do, which makes it better, is because in German, if you all speak German, you feel you're leaving me out. So sometimes Nicole will simultaneously translate for me whispering in my ear.

[01:06]

But now, since you're not going to speak in Swedish, we have this other English speaker here. So you'll have to sit in my lap so that we can listen to her. Anyway, I appreciate it if you have some kind of conversation which you can tell me something about. Maybe you can tell him something about it. You speak English? My English is so bad. Oh, it is? Maybe you can give him some help. Okay. Yeah, I know your daughter, Susanna, was a little sad that she couldn't bring her children.

[02:25]

Yeah. Well, it's the practice period. We had a time once when, years ago, there was a whole group of women, mostly, from Munich who came regularly. And we had... somebody at the last minute was on the way to New Zealand to live, Robin. Remember Robin? And they couldn't leave right away, so for the first three days of a sashin, I think, they stayed here. They stayed for a longer time, at least 14 days, until they got packed and renovated their apartment. And they stayed, the whole family, three kids, they stayed in the crew room, the other Yeah, but I think they're only here for about three days of the Sashin.

[03:26]

That might be possible. But this group from Munich has never come back because of that. Because they heard the kids and I apologized and I even said, which I shouldn't have said, Tsukiroshi used to do Sashins in a San Francisco neighborhood where... There were all these kids behind. It was a very poor, slum neighborhood. And they were always playing with radios and shouting and screaming. And, you know, I'm not noise sensitive, so it was no problem. She was quite, they were quite offended that I... Anyway, they never come back. She has to because her parents are here. Emily comes by her own. So, I'm waiting for the discussion to start. And also, how do you think we should function in the future, the one future doorsteps in?

[04:27]

Is it too many days? No. Okay. Well, the next doorstep thing will be an even bigger event. So the next doorstep sin will be a much bigger event? Because on Saturday we have a Jukai ordination. And there are also guests coming to the ordination. We're having three, how many Jukais? Eight. Eight Jukais. Not all me, though. Three. Three for me. Three for me. For you? Yes. Paul too. And Paul? Two and Nicole. One, I forgot one.

[05:47]

Okay. That means that on Saturday and Sunday it will be a completely different program. So on Saturday and Sunday there will be a completely different program. Next month. And also maybe on Friday afternoon there will be a change. For me, this was all quite fitting and from considering the form, very well. And the only thing I would suggest, because I always found it very good, was that certain topics could also be discussed in small groups.

[06:50]

And I think that's a little more concentrated than above. And I would suggest that some topics could be discussed in smaller groups because this is a little bit more concentrated than doing it during coffee break. So I would also be in favor of that. Well, let's pick a topic and then some of you can go over there. Also, lasst uns ein Thema suchen und einige von euch können dann sich da drüben treffen. One thing I did decide in Doorstep Zen is I wasn't going to supply the topic. Eines wofür ich mich entschieden habe in Doorstep Zen ist, dass nicht ich das Thema liefern würde. I would like it if everyone brings maybe one or three questions from their own practice. This was kind of my idea about it.

[07:52]

Yeah, I like that too. I learn something. Ich könnte mir gut vorstellen, beides miteinander zu verbinden. So I can imagine to connect or to combine these two things. In einer Kleingruppe miteinander über die eigene Praxis im Gespräch zu sein. To be in discussion with the small group about one's own practice. Und sich dann in dieser Kleingruppe von Hoshi einladen lassen oder andersherum. And then allowing Roshi to invite the small group or the other way around.

[08:53]

And then being in discussion with Roshi in these specific small groups. As a suggestion for a topic would be, what makes our practice transformative? What are the steps that make it transformative in contrast to well-being practice? I would like to bring a counter-argument concerning the small groups. I'm not opposed to small groups, but there is something that I like when we don't have small groups. because small groups somehow invite us to keep some topics within us until we are in the situation of the small group that feels maybe more intimate and

[10:27]

I find it very exciting that we start to learn, and it feels like we are at the very beginning, to discuss in such a round with each other, and perhaps even without much moderation. And I find it quite interesting and exciting that we are somehow starting to learn how to discuss things within a large group like this. And it feels like we are at the starting point at this, and maybe we can do this, and maybe we don't even need much moderation. such a large group, and of course it must not be too large, and maybe it is already at the border, has a different public in which we then, in which we then get involved. a large group like this, and maybe it's already a little bit too big, it has a kind of public feeling, and it's good when we learn to bring ourselves to this kind of sphere.

[12:06]

So there's my role as a teacher. And there's my role as the disappearing teacher. And then there's the role of teachers we have here, like Otmar and Paul Rosenblum and Nicole. And I've asked... uh... uh... Dieter I want him to start wearing a brown robe and to be, we can call him sensei, and I want him to lead some seminars and develop, since he has a PhD in Buddhist studies, to lead some seminars, for instance, on the Abhidharma and things like that, basic things we should know, which many of you don't know.

[13:16]

And we give a little too much importance to a brown robe because there's not so many of them. But in Japan, in the temple, everyone has a brown robe. So I'd like to start making the landscape, demographic landscape more... Is there something I'm missing here? the demographic landscape, more varied and have different, more complex layering of responsibilities.

[14:36]

So then also there's the Sangha as teacher. And really, it's the Dharma ancestors and all the folks in the koans and things like that who have transmitted the teaching. So it's really a Sangha transmitted teaching. So how can we recognize more that we're that the Sangha here is transmitting the teaching, developing the teaching and transmitting the teaching. So can you imagine a doorstep Zen where there's a doorstep but no me? So would anyone come to a doorstep, Zen, if I didn't do it?

[15:54]

I hope... You all say, yes, and I'll bring three friends. Or should we do a doorstep Zen and someone else lead it? And then we have the koan, winter branches, which started out, maybe I would speak primarily about the Abhidharma. But what clearly people felt excavated, they're excavated. Their practice most was working on koans. So the winter branches developed.

[16:54]

Winter branches comes from something Tsukuyoshi said, is that... generations can go along and there's no blossoms on the tree and then the right conditions the tree blossoms. Yeah, and Maybe we could have someone else. We could revive winter branches or the practice weeks, which we don't do anymore either, or not as much. So we have to think about practice as practice engaging the residents.

[17:56]

And then the specific programs like Saschins and Ango. And the larger Sangha, some hundreds of people. And how are we going to start articulating this in a participatory way? Yeah, maybe I should just go to the Colorado Crestone Center and stay for a couple years and then come back and see what's happened. And then I'd have to be here for a couple of years and see what happened in Creston.

[19:09]

So, that's just some ideas. What do you think? I mean, the koan is the, you know, I mean, the leading a koan seminar is the most difficult, I think, because it takes the most experience with practice. And, of course, I went through 100 koans with Suzuki Roshi, so that all helps to just start from cold, thinking we can, if you don't really know the history of Zen Buddhism in Tang Dynasty and Sung Dynasty and how Indian Buddhism came into Chinese Buddhism. You really don't have the equipment to talk about koans. So that's a problem, how to start teaching koans again. Well, it's a problem how you can start learning Korns again, because that requires the most preconditions.

[20:14]

And of course it helped me that I studied with Suzuki Roshi hundreds of Korns together. And you just need this knowledge about the Tang Dynasty and so on. I found the work with the choirs in the Winterzweigen to be very cost-effective in many ways. I really treasured the work with the koans in the winter branches and I found it very nourishing and I learned a lot from that. Not only because we had to deal with these texts that were somehow like riddles. But also because it strengthened in me the feeling for the Sangha and created a kind of connected, being connected. And also this continues here too.

[21:14]

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Please don't only address me, address each other. So I treasure very much the exchange we are having and also what you Isabella said that when somebody talks about their practice you experience the resonance that happens within yourself and You feel that is your practice too?

[22:27]

Or Hans working with stepping into the room with the foot closest to the hinge? So I remember very well that you, Roshi, taught this many years ago. So everybody takes on, apparently takes on different seeds. So this contributes to the variety within the Sangha. Brian DeCamp, who is a resident at Crestone now and has been practicing with me since the 80s, Brian DeCamp, who now lives in Creston and who has been practicing with me since the 80s.

[23:32]

He started practicing doing things with two hands. And he met with a group of male friends once a month for years. And after about two or three years, one of the male friends suddenly said, Brian, what the hell is wrong with you? Why do you do everything with two hands? They sort of saw that he was doing it, but they didn't quite get the point. For me, the Koan study is essential too, but I cannot imagine doing this without Roshi. My feeling is that this somehow has to rest for some time and then it will appear again.

[24:52]

But a similar format for me is the practice week that I like very much. And what is important is that it's a certain length of time and that you have orioki practice. And there I could rather imagine that you have different teachers and different topics or also the singer topics discussed or developed. So for me it would be a practice, but rather a format where I have the feeling that it can go on or we can develop something from it. So a practice week would be a format that I can imagine that would allow us to develop something. And I can imagine different teachers leading it.

[26:10]

And I also can imagine the sangha developing something during a practice week. For me, the choirs are very important. But I don't want to wear anything. The koans are very important to me, but I wouldn't dare to just... that we do it on our own, and I'm also a little bit afraid that there would be so much talking around. And I cannot... say a lot myself in that regard. Because they really reside in this mysterious realm that you cannot speak about. I would like to bring in favor of the koans because this work was very important for me.

[27:31]

And we have many recordings from events and also we have transcriptions. For some time I had developed a practice for me at home to continue Koan work by listening to these recordings again and this was a big support for my practice. You can study again and again and we have these wonderful talks, Roshi's talks. So we could include them again in our studies.

[28:47]

This is a quite good idea. I don't know how far we got, Q121 or so. I don't know whether I could go to Koan 22 or 23. Maybe I don't really can imagine doing that. But starting again... Starting again with Koan 1, including the recordings, and there were six or seven Teishos, and also the discussions. And I can imagine that everyone is challenged, it's not just about the next story, and the next story, and this is also great,

[29:54]

And I can imagine that everybody would be challenged doing that. And it's maybe not necessary to do the next and the koan and the next story. And it's also said that if you have studied, practiced one koan thoroughly, you have practiced them all. But I don't know who really practiced koan one thoroughly. And so I can really imagine that this may be a challenge, a good challenge for us. Why don't you just come in and not just... So one thought would be, why don't we look at this koan just like we are now, where we are standing and without referring to the...

[31:12]

So, because the recordings that we have, they are somehow, it's pinning us down. It's a bit like in music. If you are entering the music fresh without any recordings, it makes a difference. Okay. So you make little notes on the sheet of music, and if you start without that, it makes a difference. Which is better? If you haven't practiced, played a piece for a long time, enter it like new, without any notes. I see, yeah.

[32:36]

I don't really know what a blog is, but I seem to have a blog. Which is, I've never looked at it, but it's called Sumzen, S-U-M-Z-E-N. It has a password, Baker 108 or something like that. And things from the tree planters are on it and various lectures are on it and so forth. And one of the things that the, and I'll start putting more things on it, one of the things the group in Colorado is doing in Boulder, they have been meeting for 40 years or something. and they meet, and they take some text from some Zen, and then for several weeks they have a little thread of who can come, and I think three times a month they meet.

[33:47]

But this is people in one city. It's not like Europe, Vienna and Hamburg, you know. But they meet, I think three times a month, and discuss things. Now they're discussing my embodying text for the last two or three months. Also, die Leute in Boulder, Colorado, die natürlich schon sehr lange miteinander praktizieren, treffen sich dreimal im Monat, glaube ich, und sie studieren einen dieser Texte, die auf diesem Sam-San-Internet-Ding sind, und sie studieren diesen Text über mehrere Wochen lang miteinander. Das kann man natürlich tun. Es ist schwieriger, das an einem Ort wie hier zu machen. You can do that in the cities where you live. You can do that with Hans. You can do that in the city where you live together, like I do it together with Hans.

[34:56]

And we are also picking one text, one of your texts, and we are meeting and discussing it. And we also combine it either before or afterwards with reporting and telling from our life what is going on. And this is a layer of sharing that we cannot enter here so much. I wish I could be a fly on the wall. And another thing I would like to bring in, following up on this point of resonance between each other. I have already said that. I already said it and I would like to make an advertisement for the Sangha Rio because we already are doing it during this event.

[36:28]

Let's continue after the break. What? We have to go to Munich, unfortunately. Many thanks. Well, we'll start missing you right away. Thanks for coming all this way. Okay. Thank you very much. So for me, it feels like it flows along during these days.

[37:56]

It has a good quality for me, and I feel a certain maturation, a certain maturity within how we are dealing with it. I think I was forgetting. And facilitation sometimes feels a little as an interference. One thing I would have wished for, if there had been a lot of contributions to a topic or something like that, if there had been something like a summary, not really a verbal summary, but also a commentary on it, And one thing that I would have liked is that when there have been lots of contributions by people and many things came together, that maybe Roshi would have brought this together in a kind of summary or something.

[39:07]

A commentary, not a summary. Okay. During the seminar Buddhism and Psychotherapy, which took place for the first time this year without Roshi and with Nicole as a participant, There was a solution which I liked very much. There was a solution which I liked very much. One person took on the role of a facilitator for only half a day. Und das war die Person, die nicht bestimmt hat, was passiert. So that wasn't the person that decided what was going to happen.

[40:13]

Aber sie hatte die Aufgabe... einfach die Gruppe, so eine Leitungsfunktion, also nicht eine Leitungsfunktion, eine zusammenzufassen, die Gruppe zu fragen, was ist jetzt dran, den Prozess zu unterstützen. The person was not making decisions in any kind, but it was supporting the process, and they summarized what was happening, asked the group what was now going to happen. And that felt very good for me because it unburdened the group and on the other hand it made explicit who is able to act for the sake of the group. I find it very interesting I'm not for or against facilitation, but I would like to make a remark on the side.

[41:29]

When I started coming to Johanneshof at that time, I sometimes was puzzled when we had these small groups. Coming from psychology and having experienced thousands of group processes somehow, I thought, well, there are ways how you could do it differently and there are concepts about it and so on. And now, in any case, I am often not here, but I am experiencing for the first time that we have such a discussion about facilitation, about moderation in a large group. And very often I'm not here, but this is the first time that I experience that we are having a discussion about whether there should be facilitation or not.

[42:59]

I don't know if yes or no, I don't know. But what I have learned to appreciate in the course of the time I have been here, And I don't know whether yes or no, but what I started to value coming here all these years, is that we, what I didn't recognize at the beginning, or didn't show to me, that we cultivated a certain kind of speaking, and what I did not recognize in the beginning that we have cultivated a distinct way of expressing ourselves and speaking. And this shows itself more clearly during the past years. And in my perception it started during the winter branches.

[44:06]

And it consists of that we seem to somehow have arrived at a certain kind of maturity in noticing when it's better to just be silent and when to speak and also in the way how we express what our practice is. Yes, in this direction. I have not yet thought about how this would fit together with moderation. And I didn't really think through how this would fit together with facilitation. Maybe we also would find a good way and develop a way how this could come together with facilitation. But from a point of view of practice, as I understand it,

[45:23]

The most important thing is that each and every one of us finds ways for him and herself to speak out of their own practice. For me an image comes up as similarity, us sitting here now and us sitting in the sandal during sutra chanting. When we are together again, it is often a cacophony of all sorts. And then over time, there is such a melody, or whatever it is.

[46:53]

And I think this is connected to the fact that we chant and at the same time hear the other people chant, and then tune in to something in common that makes up the group. To experience something like this, I have here, in these days, when we come together as a new group, first of all, it sounds like out of tune. And after some time, this changes and a certain kind of melody arises. And I think this happens by us listening to each other and I have a similar feeling, us being together here, that the way we are speaking with each other changes over time. So before it was mentioned, Sangha has developed a lot by doing the winter branches.

[48:00]

And also the way we are speaking to each other. But what was it during the winter branches? It was a group that was quite big, but it met regularly. two or three times a year. And over the years. A sangha feeling developed over the time and also we learned to listen to each other and to speak to each other. And my feeling is, when Roshi talks about retiring, what we need is a quite strong sangha.

[49:14]

And maybe it's not so important what we are looking at, whether we are discussing texts or koans, but as Roshi now is working on some writings, this would be a good point to take this up as it happens right now. To take this as an opportunity for a meeting regularly at Johanneshof. And where we also have the opportunity to invite Roshi to these meetings. And the group could emerge from that, that meets again and again and carry this sangha feeling like it was part of the winter branches.

[50:39]

Because I think it's different if there is in the schedule, the annual schedule, there is a practice week and there's a sheen and another event. If there is a group that continues to work on something, on some project and this was something that brought us together in a certain way. A concept that took me a while to absorb is the winter branches. It was clear that Tsukuyoshi, while he was a respected and outstanding monk and priest in Japan,

[51:44]

And when he went to Manchuria to help not the war, but the soldiers, he had the daring to do things. And he always felt he should come to a place where you could start Buddhism from scratch, start from the beginning again. So he made clear to the Soto Shu folks, the headquarters, that he hoped to go to America at some point. And it was clear, too, that he was going to his former enemy. I've also found it sort of funny that my life has been formed by America's two former enemies, Japan and Germany.

[53:16]

And so the concept of winter branches is that sometimes, you know, through various seasons, the branches may look dead, but then in the winter, and then in spring comes, they blossom. And I could see that Tsukiyoshi blossomed as a teacher when he came to America. He turned into who he is through practicing in America. And we, his students, like Rick and myself,

[54:27]

although you didn't know him, but you were there right after, who helped the blossoming occur. But in my mind, as an American, an individual supposedly, Und in meinem Verständnis als Amerikaner und als angebliches Individuum I emphasized the blossoming time. Da habe ich die Zeit des Erblühens betont. But lineage emphasizes the winter time. And when I first went to Japan, I was quite startled that Nakamura Sensei, who came to live with us in Green Gulch for years, and she was a no-theater chanter and teacher and a tea teacher and a Zen practitioner.

[55:52]

Als ich nach Japan kam, war ich sehr erstaunt darüber, dass Nakamura Sensei, die mit uns in Gringalsch gelebt hat, und sie war eine Noh-Theater-Sängerin und Lehrerin, eine The-Lehrerin und eine Zen-Praktizierende. And I found... The Soto teachers at the time when I was in Japan were pretty blah. Yeah, I mean, there were a few that I really respected, but mostly they were just, you know, most of Buddhism in Japan I would call big roofism. Every village has a big roof, and big roofism isn't exactly Buddhism. It has a village function.

[56:55]

There were some that I respected, but I found that Buddhism at that time had to do with the big roofs. The temples had big roofs, and they had functions to fulfill in the village, and they didn't have much to do with Buddhism. So I was happy to live in Kyoto and Gary Snyder introduced me to the Daitoku-ji where I could practice. Gary Snyder, the poet, introduced me to Daitoku-ji. If you've read the Dharma Bums, he's Jaffe Ryder in the Dharma Bums. Jack Kerouac's book. Anyway, so I was excited to practice at Daitoku-ji. And Nakamura Sensei was quite... Japanese don't show their anger very much.

[58:04]

They kind of look at you. There's a flatness and there's a trembling inside, but they just show you a flatness. Die Japaner, die zeigen ihren Ärger nicht. Da ist eine Art Flachheit in ihrem Ausdruck und dahinter eine Art Erbeben. Einfach nur dieses abgeflachte Äußere. And I said something like, you know, Soto at this time was kind of dead and that I preferred to practice Rinzai. And she clearly took a hyper-objective view. She said, I mean, kind of like as fiercely as you could with every word edged with knives. If when your lineage isn't alive, you go to another lineage, this is completely wrong.

[59:12]

You can't shop around for what's best. You stay with your lineage and you make it better, otherwise it'll never get better. So although when I went to Japan, Sukiroshi told me, don't worry about Sotoshu, just find the best teachers. And he said particularly he would have liked to study Tantric Shingon Buddhism more and he encouraged me to do that. But it was clear he also expected whatever I did to bring it back into the Sota lineage, which is what I'm trying to do. So we're going to go through a period probably, if not after me, at least a few generations, in which things, like what happened after Sukhirashi died,

[60:37]

But in a multigenerational scale and spatial temporal scale, how do we make this lineage work over decades? I think that has to be in our heart. Or people will say, oh, Baker, she's dead, and it wasn't very good anyway, and I'll try something else. But we're going to depend on people like you and you to send your children here. And your grandchildren. Silke, I interrupted you. I'm sorry. I listened to you and... It referred to what Hans said before and... Okay.

[62:17]

We were once in Hannover at the Zenila and there Vekar Vashi said at the beginning, I would like to experiment with you. I would like to do a Bodhisattva with you within the three or four days that we were there together. And bodhisattva? Vibha. Vibha, okay. Once during a Hanover seminar, you said to us, I want to experiment with you. I want to weave a bodhisattva together with you during those days we have. Oh, I hope I was successful. And this is what happened. And it reminds me because every time I come here and I cannot stay for such a long time, only for a few days each time. And the image within me of this weaving of the Bodhisattva, is it always like this, that from the moment I come, or we come, the group comes, and in my case these are often open groups,

[63:55]

and it's always like this when we come here the people come here and in my case it's mostly this kind of open groups that we always make it happen and we are weaving a kind of bodhisattva together Mm-hmm. With or without facilitation? What is your job? I'm a bodhisattva facilitator. Weaver. Bodhi Weaver. I think it's almost time for us to end and go to lunch and so forth. And we're not going to meet after lunch, at least formally. So what should our closing comments be?

[65:13]

I have to go to the kitchen soon, but I would like to share something which became apparent for me. During the past days I feel touched in a very special way. And this has something to do with being serious in a specific way. I think. As if I am aware of it and I feel myself on a line and somehow I am crossing a line, which is actually not new, but now I am right in front of crossing this line.

[66:31]

So when I'm conscious of that, that I'm close to a certain line and I'm about to cross it. I'm entering a wide open field and there is this feeling, now it's starting, this serious feeling. So what I feel, what you are calling serious, for me it's a little bit sad. What I feel, there is a kind of change. Yeah. Und damit muss jeder auf seine Weise umgehen, mit diesen Gefühlen. And each and every one has to deal with these kinds of feelings.

[67:59]

I would like to come back to Uli's question. That was, as I understood it, a question, how do we want to discuss with each other or lead the conversations? And there was also a question, as I understood it, should I take over a bit of the moderation function if necessary? I would like to come back to Uli's question, how are we talking with each other? And there was also the aspect of the question, should I take on the role of a facilitator? And so I experience it in such a way that one function of the moderator, the deceleration of such processes, to give many the opportunity to think through in between, through the translation itself in this special context, So in my experience what happens is that one function of this facilitation is to slow down the process and allowing people to come in when processes like that happen.

[69:21]

And my experience is it happens through the translation in that way we are doing it. Another aspect of facilitation is giving impulses, and I found it very helpful that you brought in these questions, as you did. und wenn man das, also das eine bleibt, also wenn Roshi dabei ist, bleibt es ja die Übersetzung. Dieser Teil wird sowieso erfüllt, aber der andere Teil, das ist vielleicht gut, wenn der hin und wieder mal von dir, also von erfahrenen Leuten auch genutzt wird, also Lehrstelle, um Impulse zu setzen. Das finde ich sehr hilfreich. Das muss nicht unbedingt Uli

[70:22]

Yeah. And translation will go on as long as Roshi is present. And the other function, giving impulses, can be taken on by experienced people. And Uli has the courage to do it, but also other people could do it. Thank you. Yes. So briefly, it's a different context, but I think it fits in here what you said to me this morning during Doxan. Trust your intentions. Did I say that? Yes. That sounds a secret, you know. I don't remember what I said. It's okay. Just teasing you.

[71:25]

Okay. Yes? Heike? Somebody? Okay. Do you want to finish? Well, I don't... Whatever. Okay. I can imagine different structures, but I arrived at what is somehow my request within that circle that is here. And I noticed that I would like to I would like to have the possibility to get more contact with the existential question that brings each one of us to practicing.

[72:44]

Maybe I have the fantasy, maybe even through the documentary, that the actual questions, so if someone really sits on a doorstep or sits on a edge, land there rather than here, among each other. Maybe it is because of Doxan that the questions that each of us is dealing with, in a way like sitting at the doorstep with them, they end up there and not here. I'm still living from a longing that we... So that the Sangha can be my teacher, so to speak, to whom I can go with what really... My longing somehow that gives life to me is that the Sangha could be a teacher that I'm turning to with exactly the things that shatter me and that move me.

[74:01]

And I'm really interested about that in each of you. And then comes the question, what form could this take that would allow us to deepen ourselves in that direction? And this could be going in a circle or having a speaking object, stick. Well, there was a time, I don't know, earlier this year when we had a round here and several people said it felt like a shared dog song. Well, I'm very grateful we have met these days. And especially to have seen some of you I haven't seen in a long time.

[75:19]

Thank you very much.

[75:20]

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