I just don't see it. I just don't. Thank you. And one thing I really wanted to come here is to feel the lightness and to have enough fun and have fun. And I just took this morning at breakfast when I decapitated my egg. Everything was so wonderful. It's really kind of completely tied by all the expectations about saying in my former context that upside down, which I always experienced, which in so forth.

[01:09]

So very... Well, here we have found the other . I see that young horse, just me, that young horse, and that place walking over lake of diamonds and jewels, with a dark blue sky in the background, and this is my comfort of English.

[02:18]

Well, dude, you're bright. Nice. Good job. What is going on? Oh, that's a

[03:21]

I wish the Holy Father would do it. Amen. It's fine. I was afraid to hear my ass I'd forget What could you like you even I can't hear quite the tones if you want to shorten all these things.

[05:01]

I realized in the second hour what was things that are inside me. I tried to move my personality through this and it was not a fear. I feel I'm okay. It was a good experience. Thank you.

[06:29]

Thank you. I want to thank you. But sometimes the pain would be so deadly, but they were particularly deadly when I prayed for the bell.

[07:52]

One day I observed my skin, my face relaxed, and that was a really wonderful experience. I feel I've entered a path I want to stay. Now, look at that. That's the point, that's the point. Now, look at that. That's the point. Look at that.

[08:54]

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I have solved the problem.

[10:09]

I have all my black and white things. And when I try to do something, for example, this is with a shovel, I should also use a shovel. Then I say, do you have one? I should also use a shovel. Then I put it in the shovel. That's fine, I know that word. Is that good? You know, my, you know, you have to understand that Shri Mataji was quite, quite, you know, quite an insane, insane, insane, he was, he was angry, [...]

[12:21]

I say, I need to get used to the planets and the city and so forth. And that's, you know, landing. And I didn't know that landing takes so much time. And that's a career I particularly experienced a very intense feeling of something that didn't change very quickly. So I'm driven. Thank you. I'm here to take many things from you, especially images.

[14:39]

And without having already yesterday, when I caught these pictures, this image came with a recipe for your needs. I feel this is going to help you a lot in the future. They could be a part of it, but it's not good for them, so... This is... How that is happening, it just takes you off like a bullet, you see.

[16:24]

Yeah, yeah, you are saying good, [...] good. Thank you. Okay. . . . You have to go.

[17:51]

Do you want to say something before you go? Yeah, sure, why don't you go get it. . And he said, he's got such a brilliant, smiling face, and so many eyes, but every time he looked at the face, he did so much, and I think he looked just straight off the face.

[18:57]

And so I really think that he just did it. And it's like, you know, it's just, you know, it's amazing. It's amazing. What's the difference between him and me? It's true, God, I am God, I am like the Lord. What we need to do is get out of God's spirit world and avoid self-delusion. It's good to be here. You said we're in it. And what's it like that?

[20:00]

I would like to tell you one thing that I realized a little bit. I was telling you what I had suggested to you, how to see you in that world. And so I was learning. I have a case for all worlds in the end. Of course, my thoughts are rarely in sleep. I just do a moment and I think, oh, this is very interesting. It is very important. I just, I listen to the Lord, but I think that will require planning. And after all that, it was so good. I said, hey, did you get it? And I said, yeah, somehow. This was really what required an interview. And I liked it very much.

[21:10]

I wanted to have it interrupted. And so that's how it went. And so much compassion. Why don't you start the stick this way, and then maybe we can finish. Before you leave, since there was one thing I wanted to say, again, it doesn't necessarily apply to you, but since you're here, again, people ask me every seminar, and in specific in seminars, how can we continue to practice together? And if they can become my student or if they can take the precepts? I don't really know the answer to the question. Like if you come to Crestone and we spend time together, this is a way that we get to know each other better and you get to see the tradition, which is so much a part of how you come to understanding.

[22:30]

Some people ask to see some pictures of it. I have some pictures of Crestone. No, the pictures aren't what the practice is. Excuse me? The pictures aren't what the practice is, but some people ask me for pictures and I can show you afterwards. It depends what being a student or taking initiation means to you. One level you're recognizing this is your path. And it helps to do that. It doesn't exclude anything. But it means you include everything in the path. That's one way of taking the precepts or an initiation or something like that. Another way is you develop a specific relationship with me or with someone as a teacher.

[23:51]

And that has many dimensions. And in the biggest and also the smallest dimension, it's a dharma friend, somebody who shares the vision of practice and the reality of practice with you. It's also a way to enter a very deep part of yourself That's kind of mysterious, actually. It's also a way as a shortcut to know yourself because it's easier to know somebody else than to know yourself. So teach her somebody good, bad, or indifferent who's willing to be known. So ist ein Lehrer, ob jetzt gut, schlecht oder indifferent, jemand, der einfach bereit ist, dazu, dass man ihn sozusagen kennenlernt.

[25:01]

And willing to sometimes interfere with that. Doch bereit ist, das irgendwie auch mal aufzunehmen. But that process of knowing another person, even if they try to prevent you, willing, is a shortcut to knowing yourself. Und so eine Person, die also einerseits manchmal sogar einen hindert, oder auch einen bildet, ist ein Abkürzung, zwischendurch selbst. So since I don't live here all the time, this isn't like I used to go to the Soviet Union. There was no freedom to visit or travel. At least we can travel and see each other. So I don't know exactly what to do. What I ask my students who really want to be disciples is I ask them to ask me several times and then to plant a tree.

[26:03]

And after they've asked several times and they tell me they've planted a tree and where and so forth, Then I go the next step of taking some initiation or vows with him. But I would like to start doing this in Europe and not just do it in the United States. And I have students who planted trees in various parts of Europe. So what I might do is at some point have a seminar for a weekend which there were teachings that went with the initiation and then on Sunday afternoon maybe a group of people would receive a lay initiation.

[27:06]

And then some people, we might go one more step where they're really committing themselves to finding a way that we can spend time together to practice. I'd also like to wear a Buddhist robe. Then they would make one of these. And I would give them a Buddhist name and so forth. And some people might actually want to be ordained. But just taking the precepts is enough.

[28:11]

And finding out how you and I can practice together. Because it is after all a relationship that needs actual time. And third is to how you practice with each other and support each other's opportunity to practice here in your own city. So you can help me figure that out. Because I take your individual and lay practice completely serious. We can start out with the mud seal. And then take the water seal and the space seal together. And that's what I just said is for the few of you who've asked me about this, but I thought I should say it to all of you.

[29:12]

And forgive me for interfering with your departure. Is it okay with you if we take the time to go at least maybe a little bit quickly with the stick? Okay. Thank you. Bye-bye. Okay. Okay. Yeah, you're welcome. I didn't expect that I could think today. I don't want to say the street art of my house. Very good. Is there a challenge? Well, it was a big challenge.

[30:13]

I feel that I don't know what's important. That's it. That's it. I feel that I don't know what's important. I feel that I don't know what's important. to go to my house and get high. But when I was a little kid, I lived here. I was a little kid. [...] What makes it so deep in here?

[31:41]

Right. Take me. Yes, I'm here. You are. Yes, I'm here. [...] They are special. They decide to manage this. So, first time I went to so many like this, it was all good.

[32:44]

But since then I thought, not all of them gave it up, not all of them. I thought to myself, you know, just how did we? There is a lot of options.

[34:16]

I am practicing in the intersection. [...] It always looks like a marketplace area. So you can sing if you'd like.

[35:18]

I want to be a spiritual guide. I really want to help people. I want to teach people. I really want to help people. I want to teach [...] people. I understand.

[37:18]

I understand. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. Why I keep blabbing? I will say later, Shri Mataji. And I thought to myself, that's it, [...] that's it.

[38:55]

Yeah. Good. First of all, I don't remember the program. [...] Good. Do you want to say something?

[40:36]

No, you. Did anybody not get the stick? Who's happy not to get it or would like to get it? Thank you. I appreciated all of what you said. Each, I think each, really I feel each thing you all said, each of you, has its own validity and is also a place of practice. How do you accept where you are? Even the desire not to practice as a place of practice is really practice. I love critical people, too. And skeptical people.

[41:38]

Because skeptical people always think there's no proof, there's nothing. It's not at all. But also skeptical people, as you implied, are people who want proof in a hurry. When it doesn't come in a hurry, they're skeptical. So you have to also be willing to wait. Now, this question of the koan came up a number of times, so let me say something very quickly about it. Let me say, though, that I hope I didn't say, maybe I did, that koan practice goes deeper than vipassana. Because any practice can reach all of Buddhism.

[43:01]

But there is some difference between the teachings. And to be very simple, I would say, if you all concentrate on this, and you achieve one pointedness on this, And to really do that and to explore that takes a while. But to some extent you can do it pretty quickly. That ability to concentrate on that is shamatha. Okay. Once you've achieved concentration on that, I take that away and you can keep concentration on the empty field. That's shamatha in a deeper shamatha. Okay, you got that?

[44:02]

Then when I bring the stick back up into this field, And you examine this stick now from the field of concentration which you have maintained. That's vipassana. When you let the stick speak to you, that's a koan. Okay. So koan practice is how to let each thing speak to you. How to let this phrase you've taken from yesterday's lecture speak to you.

[45:08]

Now several of you have asked about having koans. and you can take a koan or a phrase from my lecture from a koan book or something and work with it bring it to me occasionally to formally have a koan that we work on together

[45:31]

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