I enjoy so much our discussion or the discussion you have when I'm here with me. And maybe today we should try to make it, even though I just assume continue the whole time, but make it a little shorter because otherwise I can't finish the koan Not that we need to. Maybe we should have it to be continued. Okay, so who will be second? Oh, okay. Also die Frage war ja, was sich an unserem Ansatz mit Koans zu arbeiten verändert hat. Und was für mich eine große Bedeutung hatte, war, ich habe mich irgendwie am fünften Tag oder so, oder am vierten Tag, habe ich mich bei Ulrike beschwert, dass mir die Frustration fehlt.

[01:17]

Also dass den Koan schon irgendwie... Translate. Yes, that's a good idea. The question was what changed in our approach in working with koans throughout the week. And the most significant thing that happened for me is that I think the fourth or fifth day or something, I went for a walk with Ulrike, and I complained about not being frustrated enough with the koan. I felt like I had access to some of the phrases, and it meant something to me, but I just did not feel frustrated.

[02:17]

But that was my concept of what it should be like. Yeah, an unusual complaint, but... And then Ulrike did something that really lit me up. For me, the koan was always pretty much right there. Just here. Here I am, and this is the koan. And Ulrike then said, well, it's kind of like this. Now one sentence from the koan is there, the other is there, and then one is there. And she built up such a body space around her. And that made total sense for me. So that I started to sit in the koan. And what Ulrike did then was that I complained about the koan being, it was pretty much right here. I'm here and this is the koan, this is how I thought of it. And it was a problem to be solved somehow. And Ulrike enacted it. She went like, well, it's more like there's one phrase which is right here, another one is here, and then there's one here, or something like that.

[03:20]

That's what Sophia thinks. Yeah. But that really clicked for me and immediately from that day on I basically sat in the midst of the koan and I felt like my life became the koan somehow or the immediate situation started to become the koan. Also ich habe sofort irgendwie das Gefühl gehabt mitten im Koan zu sitzen und dass es dabei auch um mich geht und mein Leben ist zum Koan geworden. I just said that. From then on, it's... Do you want to translate for me?

[04:22]

And I just said that from then on, I started to feel a frustration, a really intense frustration coming up. And it was, or it is very uncomfortable. And it's working within me all the time. And somehow I feel satisfied with that frustration, even though it's very... I mean, for me right now, I feel very lost. I'm somehow entirely out of balance, and I feel like there's nothing to hold on to for me. But I do have the feeling of being in relation with the koan. And that's actually important than feeling good for me at the moment. Just to say that the shift that occurred for me throughout the week was to understand that the koan is me, is my immediate situation.

[05:44]

Yeah, it's somehow my body, the koan works in my body, or I am in the midst of the koan. Okay, thank you. This will go down in Zen lore as the time Ulrika raised one foot. For me the Quran was the entire time I couldn't find a practical access. And only last night I realized something. I always thought that the World Honored One and Manjushri were the same person.

[06:49]

Somehow I kept reading it as if everything was done by the same person and then ascending the seat was just on the side somehow. Okay. And the phrase that Dharma is lust, that seemed for me to be the center. And with that I could not practice. And only when Peter told me that there's another person coming up stage, I realized that it's actually two people. And I was wondering why I'm noticing that so late, but that's only...

[08:00]

Even though I was here two weeks ago at the weekend, but then it suddenly started to make sense for me. And then taking the seat and settling, that started to become the center. Okay. and then I could start to settle into the core. Yeah, okay. Thanks. Yes? I feel like I'm pulling a unique breeze of reality through my nose when I breathe. So there are phases that I work within that way, and I feel like the worm in the wood working with trust that a pattern will emerge. There was different aspects of the poem that popped into my head when I'm sitting, when I'm drinking coffee, whatever.

[09:12]

I have the feeling that I, for example when sitting, or sometimes not when I'm sitting, but when I'm just sitting around, that I absorb this unique breeze of reality. And that sometimes I'm the worm that now gnaws and gnaws and doesn't know what's coming. a pattern will arise and then, yes, well, that's what I'm interested in with the choir, with the unique things that come to me again and again. Okay, yes. For me, especially in the group discussion, it became clear to me how grateful I actually am for two things.

[10:18]

In the group discussion I noticed how grateful I am for two things. First, as someone who came here later, that it was so easy to slide into the spirit, let's say, that you had already prepared here. First of all, for someone who came in really late, I felt it was extremely easy for me to slide into the mind that you had prepared. I was wondering how it was for you to come in late. And we had worked with koans before and at different times we had worked with the same koan over and over again. Yeah. But I've never... And I never experienced it as being so beautiful before to, well I don't want to say to penetrate the koan, but to work with it together.

[11:42]

And to find access. And I'm very grateful for that being possible because we share our practice with each other. And the other thing is that it became clear to me that we were also being prepared very well. And that also becomes clear for me in these three days that I'm here now. And that also becomes clear for me in these three days that I'm here now. And that also becomes clear for me in these three days that I'm here now.

[12:45]

Since I'm studying this koan, I'm noticing how I have been working with koans all the time. When I'm working, you said, when you work? When I practice. Yes, when I practice. And that I notice many connections to what has been important to me during the years in practice, which I can directly refer to this koan. And that I notice many connections of what has been very important in my practice previously to that koan and I also see connections from that koan to other koans. but also connections to wisdom phrases and to distinct instructions that you have been given before.

[13:57]

I would like to mention one example. the example that you sometimes gave with the thing that rings the bell, the striker. Then you talked about how in the beginning you try to let the attention stay there, how it stays away from you, how you manage to bring it back more easily, how it returns by itself and finally stays there. And you explained how if we try to direct our attention there, how at first it keeps... Slipping away. Yeah, slipping away all the time. But with practice it'll stay there and it's easier to direct it there.

[15:01]

And then you said, then I'm going to take the striker away. And where is the attention now? Where is your attention now? And that for me is very similar in this koan, the world-honored one approaches the seat and maybe he bows and then he ascends the seat. And then he disappears behind Manjushri's back. And it's like the attention is being gathered. The Sangha observes all of that. But maybe the Sangha doesn't see it fully. And then the gavel is hit.

[16:10]

The striker disappears. And that for me is very similar. I can find a lot of connections there. And there's one other thing. There is another similarity to the one who is not busy. Which is to find the seat. It's similar to connecting to the one who's not busy. And that is my practice when I'm raising my children. Or when I have to talk to the... Headmasters.

[17:28]

Headmasters of my children. And just recently I sat down with twelve teachers who all told me how terrible my child is. And they really took a lot of time for that. And on the one hand I am very upset On the one hand, I'm very upset and busy. And I have practiced with the one who's not busy. But I could find my seat just as well. It works just as well for me. But I might as well practice with finding my seat that seems to, or that for me works just as well.

[18:31]

So the point that I mean is that my practice, as I have learned here with you and through you and with Bekaroshi and through Bekaroshi, is nothing else but choir practice. And that has become so clear to me in this work and that's why I am so long. And what I realized is that my practice with all of you and with Bakeroshi and here is basically a score on practice, and that became very clear to me in working on this piece, and that's something I'm really grateful for. Yeah. I think your analysis of the plot is quite good. The plot is like this. That's the plot. I think your analysis of the topic is very good. The topic is already like this. Okay. Thanks. Someone else? Yes? What's the change in approach and call?

[19:38]

For me it was really to feel recognize that kind of that pull to conventional understanding so to um to see that the coin opens the door and there's a tendency to somehow close it again and then everything is in order so understanding is something like incorporating something taking it into a already understand and widen that understanding through that and this time especially through your lecture today it became clear to me that once arriving at the point it's just a point for further investigation or going on and that through that kind of keep going, keeping up the mind of investigation, there's a contact with a kind of, I would call that knowingness and distinction to knowledge, which is not characterized by fixing or refining things, but by

[21:07]

not knowing and getting more and more open. You forgot what language you were speaking. there is a tendency to feel the conventional understanding, to see knowledge or alcohol as a door that opens, and then there is a tendency to close it again, that is, to understand, and to include this understanding in the already existing understanding and thus to expand it. and that especially through Roshi's lecture today it became clear to me that it was about a spirit of examination, to keep it open, not to stop at something, but to find a further basis where it can go, to continue to research, so that I am not a kind of knowledge, but a kind of, how should I call it, sense of perception,

[22:27]

Okay, thanks. Thank you. Yes, Marlena? Yesterday evening, when all of you were at the doctor's meeting, I had a very intensive meditation. Last night when everybody was at the practice council meeting, I had a very intense and beautiful meditation. It was very quiet and dark and the thoughts fell into me as if they were swallowing dust from the sky.

[23:55]

It was very dark. It was silent and black. And it was as if fragments of thought would fall into my mind like shooting stars. And when I lay down in bed, he... And when I went to bed then in the stage between waking and sleeping a dream came up that I dream quite frequently ever since my childhood. I'm in a ship in the eastern sea and it's a very particular place in the sea and the ship is drowning. Sinking. Yeah. How did I somehow ... how did the corn come to me?

[25:28]

Well, it was the leek that my mother wrote. I suddenly realized that if something has a leek, Usually I swim around in that dream and that's the part that varies. Sometimes I save a few children. But what became clear to me, what happened was that a koan came up and I thought of Manjushri's leaking, and I realized that when there is a leaking, that not something is flowing out necessarily, but in this case something is flowing in. Yeah, and this...

[26:36]

Allowing something to flow through you and becoming permeable, that's something I really like to have in my life. Okay. Thank you. Agatha? This week I was also only here for three days. And for me the access to the Koran is very different than from what it was two weeks ago at the Sangha meeting. By emphasizing the sitting, by taking in the sitting,

[27:49]

And the change happened through this aspect of taking your seat which became very physically palpable for me during the last thousand periods yesterday. I finally had a few moments where the tension between the shoulder blades was not quite as strong as it usually is and where I could finally feel my spine as something that has a flow. that these verses of the Koran were then presented to me as different levels and different patterns of life, so it was really a strong impression that life is entwined with sitting.

[29:05]

And then something that happened also during the teshu was that different phrases from the koan started to interweave with life and it became very graspable or understandable to me that the phrases are interwoven and interdependent with life. And also there were very sad moments. I also cried in between. And that was about the topic of energy and mind and the fact that actually everything we are doing is something we are creating. And what I'm noticing is that that is still something that's very threatening to me because

[30:35]

in some side, in some concept that's more peripheral, I notice that I'm still holding onto that there's something bigger that connects everything and also holds everything, contains everything. And now for me the phrase which I hadn't really paid attention to before, which is that also original energy is created by mind. And that's where I'm stuck. I would like to go further into that and find out what is that mind. Okay, don't lose this point. Okay. All right, maybe I can... I'm happy to be interrupted or have someone say something if you want to say something but maybe I'll try to finish the review of the koan okay has the introduction been translated so you have a translation of the introduction

[32:13]

What? You do, okay. The whole thing. The whole thing? Yeah. Well, that's good. It's worth reading. Yeah. Okay. Have we ever translated it? Yeah, it's translated, and I started to scan that, and I do send it to everyone, but not everyone has it. Okay. So I think we should, if we have a translation, we ought to send it out. And, I mean, for example, I mean... Yeah, you want to translate what I said? Okay. I think you should take the translator's introduction. Read it carefully. But don't try to apply it to the koans. In a specific sense.

[33:50]

Just read it as background. Because it is background of background that the translator himself found that enabled him to translate the koans. But, for example, in the translator's introduction, he speaks about the three leaks the leak of views, the leak of feelings, and the leak of words. The leak of words which create a sense of understanding which obscures practice. Also das Leck von Worten, das ein Gefühl für Verständnis schafft, das allerdings die Praxis verdustert, verdunkelt.

[35:05]

Or makes you think you're at the end of something when the understanding is just the beginning. Oder das euch das Gefühl verleiht, ihr würdet euch am Ende von etwas befinden, wobei das Verständnis jedoch nur der Anfang ist. Well, anyway, it's useful to see the three leaks are traditional teachings. I don't quite agree with the way he presents it, but that's all right. But independent of that, you don't want to apply this to leaking in the colon. If you do, you're just making a schoolboy's mistake, or even a schoolgirl's mistake. I better understand this, I better look it up in various places. This is wrong. You have to discover what leaking means in this koan by, this koan number one, by entering into the koan and finding out what leaking means.

[36:08]

Yes, Ulrike? Well, if it returns, let me know. Okay. Then on another section, it talks about the fourfold host and guest as a teaching. The fourfold host and guest are the guest within the guest. The host within the guest. the guest within the host, and the host within the host.

[37:25]

This is actually quite useful. But, you know, you can see its form and emptiness, emptiness of emptiness, form of form, and so forth. And it's various versions, like this is a version of the five ranks. And these are all versions of the two truths. So you can begin to see there's these teaching patterns, which... The koan is trying to get you to make use of, to notice your experience. Another place in the introduction it says it should be kept in mind that the representational place of certain teachers, in other words, this teacher is used as an example of this kind of understanding.

[38:41]

It's like when you see a good movie maker like Spielberg. When he started doing more adult or demanding movies. Als er begonnen hat, etwas anspruchsvollere Filme zu machen. Like The Color of Purple, was that one of his movies? Die Farbe Lila, ja. You know, it's too obvious, from my point of view, too obvious movie making. Das ist aus meiner Sichtweise eine zu offensichtliche Weise des Filmes. Each character has certain representational motifs that appear whenever that character appears. Plato might represent one understanding, Aristotle another understanding, but of course Plato and Aristotle are bigger than this representational approach.

[39:59]

But it's useful to be aware that these various teaching devices and teachers are used to represent certain things. As like when Gui Feng is brought in, Hua Yan is being emphasized. And this is, you know, it's not hidden. You can look up Gui Feng in the... in the back of the book, and you can find out that that's what he represents. And the more you read Koans, I mean, if you ever get to know as much about koans as Kelly knows about hip-hop, you'll really be an adept.

[41:17]

Kelly gave me an old lecture on the five aspects of hip-hop and different cultural, you know, all really. Kelly gave me a whole lecture about the five different types of hip-hop and the cultural connections and so on. I had no idea that graffiti had anything to do with hip-hop. So I looked it up in Wikipedia, and yes, there's the five dimensions of hip-hop. And I, oh, really? It says overall it's the major youth culture and fashion all over the world. Okay. So you don't need to know much more about Koans than she knows about hip-hop.

[42:22]

In other words, after a while you get the hang of it and you can see what's going on. So it says the representational place does not necessarily indicate the full scope of that person's teachings. And indeed, Cleary says, the nature of Zen history is not facts in the usual sense, but it's meant to be representational and instructive. It's like I have a good friend who's very funny. We both are somewhere and we both see something happen. It's kind of interesting to me.

[43:33]

And it's interesting to my friend, too. And he goes back, and later in the day, he tells it as a hilarious story, and I didn't see it's hilarious. I wish I could be that funny. But he takes the same stuff and he just puts it in a little, you know, rearranges it slightly and it becomes hilarious. So this Zen history is arranged by people so that it becomes instructive. So don't look at it as fact, look at it as instruction. And it says here, one of the examples of non-shuant, He's often called upon to represent upholding the true imperative.

[44:44]

And that means that there's no place in absolute reality to set the mind. So the true imperative is used in Zen to mean, if you see the true imperative, to mean no externality, no reference point world. So the phrase the true imperative would mean, you know, The imperative, the true imperative is to know, not emptiness, but to know emptiness as the experience of not being able to establish a reference point. Yeah. So he also says here...

[45:45]

What is essential is not to notice only the surface content, but the structure in the background of the content. And he says this is brought out by the presence in various paragraphs of the same deep structures, although the surface story is different. Do you understand? There's a surface story, and they look different, but actually they're trying to make you see the structure underneath it. I mean, I can remember Yamada Reiron Roshi, actually my first ordination was from him. But there are teachings like when anybody asks a question out of hundreds of questions there's

[47:22]

There's 10 or 14 or 7 basic patterns behind all questions. How many did you say? Some number, you know, 14 or 7 or 22. Sukhir, she was a little critical of Yamada Roshi because he tended to answer questions along those patterns. He'd listen and then he'd answer that type of question. Sukhirashi thought that when you do that, you lose some subtleness, some fuzziness. So, Suzuki Roshi would feel it's good to see the basic patterns behind people's questions, but it's also good to answer the question on the surface.

[48:53]

Do you understand? Anyway, I'm just trying to give you a background of this way Zen is developed as a process of noticing what we do in terms of the two truths. These are various ways that Zen has developed to see in people's actions the operation of the two truths or the functioning of the two truths. And you can see that so much of Zen assumes, not that you're studying in your own little hermitage somewhere, but you're interacting, much like the debating process of Guptem Jimpeh.

[50:18]

So the more mature student uses Doksana in this way. Not to ask questions, but to engage in the kind of dialect of Zen. Okay. And this is quite true what Cleary says here. Zen sayings phrases stories are used as devices means for holding certain patterns in mind. as some of you have stated a phrase comes along and it allows you to stay with something you don't quite understand or it allows you to remind yourself of practices in your activity

[51:33]

And he says there's been a structural analysis of such phrases and devices that goes back over a thousand years in Zen. So you can see there's a really immense cultural yogic effort in these stories. They're put together to work in you. It says here that Japanese Zen developed a practice of looking at several stories at once which had the same deep structure to work on them together. Yeah, so... And the last thing I'll say from the introduction... Is he describes the...

[52:47]

three levels that I mentioned, the text mentions. So the first koan presents also the levels in which each case is structured. One song's introduction, that's the first part, the introduction, usually hints at certain perspectives or patterns of thought. patterns of thought or perspectives points of view the case that's the second aspect is usually some saying or anecdote that represents a certain aspect of Zen And then there's a commentary expounding on the case.

[54:17]

And then there's Jianzhang's verse, which preceded the commentary. First it was just the case in Jianzhang's verse. And then one song came along and added an introduction and a commentary on the case and a commentary on the verse. Okay, so these are three levels. And they're meant to be three levels. And as I said yesterday, it's clear that you're the fourth level. And it allows you to be the fourth level. Do you understand?

[55:17]

Yes? So my question is, sometimes you recommend that we don't write things down during lectures. Yeah. Does it make sense to write things down before you've seen the whole picture? You mean like right now? What do you mean? Or at home? Oh, you can write things down. I mean, I don't know what you mean by writing things down. Well, you know, a paper. Do you mean writing it down as an understanding or what it means? Or writing it down as just ways to... Whatever you want. I wrote during all of Sukhiroshi's lectures. I have many notebooks of handwriting I can barely read. Okay. So... Hey, we're not doing so bad.

[56:28]

We might have dinner at roughly the right time. Let's see. While I change my posture, does anybody want to say anything? Hmm? Oh, I'm not... There's no blame. My legs, I'm amazed they still work. They really stopped working for about two years after my radiation treatment. It made me very inflexible. It's amazing. I've only gotten back about 50% of my flexibility, but some of it, most, a large part of it, Okay, so we'll start again. The unique breeze of reality, do you see? Is it the world-honored ones ascending the sea? Is it Qian Deng reciting his verse? Is my further inquiry the unique breeze?

[57:51]

This way it's become three levels. So yesterday I pointed out that clearly then you're reading it as a fourth level. And I'm discussing it together as a Sangha as the fourth level. But when it says this makes three levels, let's also look at it. What could that mean? Does anyone have some idea what those three levels are? Could be? Yeah. That's a good guess. It's three. Yeah. These are also three nice attempts. Lone? I understood it for myself that one is the immediate reality or the immediate experience, then the next is the same in a poetic form, which is still in between, between concept and life, and the next is really a comprehensive study.

[58:57]

What I understood as the first level is the immediate experience, so kind of immediate level, the second being a poetic in-between play, and the third being more of a cognitive analysis. Yes, okay. How did you first come to the idea of the choir with the flag, the wind and the ghost? My first association was the koan with the flag, the wind and the night. And each one of these three levels is exactly reality. So that there's no hierarchy. Now you could look at this as Ingrid said, as Buddha, Dharma, Sangha.

[60:14]

But this koan is about the appearance of the Buddha. And so I think you can understand these three as the three bodies of the Buddha. Buddha, Dharma, I mean the Dharmakaya, the Sambhogakaya and the Nirmalakaya. So the world-honored one ascending the seat is the Dharmakaya. So, I mean, the Dharmakaya sometimes, or Vajrachana, the Dharmakaya Buddha, Sometimes described as a Buddha that is so vast and all at once that you can't even offer incense to it. There's no place where you're in front of that. So that's the silence of the Buddha.

[61:33]

Or his getting down from his seat. And Tian Dong's reciting his verse, this is like the experience of bliss or of understanding, but more like poetry. Yeah, the Manjushri, the drawing in. As you probably know, this is often illustrated by two swastikas. The swastika which turns one way, turning inward, which is manshri, and the swastika which is turning the opposite way is avalokiteshvara, compassion. So, forgetting about the disturbing recent misuse of the swastika, Surprisingly for Native Americans, American Indians, it has a similar use as for Buddhists.

[62:58]

It represents this inward turning and outward turning. Which is not just an idea, it's an actual experience. A folding in and a folding out. So the folding out is my further inquiry. You see, he's really emphasizing it's not... It's not just the silence of the Buddha or the poem. It's going beyond that, my further inquiry. So that is the feeling taking the position of the Nirmanakaya Buddha. So the further inquiry is taking the position of the Nirmanakaya Buddha.

[64:01]

Okay, this way it's become three levels. So in a sense you can actually have a feeling of the poem as something you bring into your zazen or as a phrase and without much thinking about it. Okay, now, Nektis, he also says, continuously creation runs her loom and shuttle. So here's his commentary on the one song's commentary on the poem. And here you heard my commentary this morning about the creation runs her loom and shuttle.

[65:21]

Weaving the ancient brocade. Okay. And then we have what Agatha says she's working with. This original energy is created by the mind and is contained in the imagery field of consciousness. The imagery field of consciousness is a way of saying what I have said in my own way, a contemporary way, is that this imagery field is a network or tapestry of concepts. And the concepts have two dimensions we should notice.

[66:24]

One dimension is that they are They nest memories. There's a cone of memory under each... cone of associations under each concept. Do you understand that? Is that sort of clear? And the concepts allow us to function in the world. Okay. The second aspect is that they're inactable. They allow you to act. So on the one hand there's The memories don't allow you to act exactly. They just supply the fabric of consciousness.

[67:28]

And we can emphasize the associative nature of consciousness. Or we can emphasize the inactable nature of consciousness. And the third aspect I would mention is that everything that doesn't fit into the tapestry is excluded. It's an editing process. It edits out the gorilla in the basketball game. Okay. Okay, so this is pointing out this imagery field.

[68:45]

So the mind is a field of energy and images. Or consciousnesses. And then, Wang Tsang says, this is the very source of the Tsao-Tung energy. Lineage, that's our lineage, the Sao Dong lineage. The lifeline of the Buddhas and Patriarchs. And, you know, in this statement that I've been telling you, the word now does not exist before continuous practice. The actualized moment is called now. The now that we generate through continuous practice this actualized moment We call now.

[70:05]

And this particular kind of now is the seed of all Buddhas and the practice of all Buddhas. It means, if you want to realize what we mean by Buddha in Buddhism, And you generate your experience of the now... Through continuous practice. Through finding your seat in thusness. This is the practice of Buddhas. Now you're doing the practice of Buddhas. And it's the seat of Buddhas. As this very Sangha may produce a Buddha. So wie genau diese Sangha einen Buddha hervorbringt. And we can even think of the Sangha itself as being functioning as a Buddha. Und wir könnten sogar uns die Sangha selbst als Buddha funktionierend vorstellen.

[71:13]

And then Dogen says, all Buddhas become Buddhas. Und dann sagt Dogen, dass alle Buddhas zu Buddha werden. By your practice. Durch deine Praxis. It's true. And that's what he means here. This is the lifeline of the Buddhas and Buddha ancestors. So what we're doing is generating the seeds, the lifeline, the practice of Buddhas. You may have thought you were just coming to Yohannesov for a Dharma lark. A lark is a vacation of a sort. Yeah, and then you find out it wasn't a Dharma lark at all. It was the lifeline of the Buddhas and patriarchs. I tricked you.

[72:14]

Okay. Then, as the wolf goes through the warp, that's the dog's Buddha nature, you know, the weave is dense and fine. The weave is dense and fine. I wish some of you, you know, when I watch you do the orioke, Some of you have been doing it for years. You just don't have it quite straight. And it surprises me. Because it means you're not really noticing what the people around you do.

[73:18]

Or you're not noticing what I do at least. Okay. Is it important that you do it exactly as I do it? Yes. Why is it important? It's completely arbitrary. But we should be able to do it in exactly the way another person does it. So I've established a way to do it. Based primarily on the way Sukhiroshi did it. But also based on the time I lived in monasteries in Japan. And every generation or so, they changed the way they do it at Heiji and Sojiji and so forth.

[74:19]

Phil, it's arbitrary, somewhat arbitrary. But, I mean, it's so interrelated as a yogic practice. It's not entirely arbitrary. But in a particular lineage you establish an exact way to do it. And then it's a test of your mindfulness if you can notice it in the fine, dense, the weave is dense and fine. And some people don't seem to be able to notice it. Right in front of them, they don't notice it. So when you notice it's a little different, you say, geez, how did I overlook that all this time?

[75:19]

So my job is also to do it very precisely and in a conceptually clear way. Okay, now why should each movement be conceptually clear? And now, why should every movement be conceptually clear? That means that every part has a beginning and an end. It's not just that you pick up your Setsu and kind of clean it and then put it down. The Setsu is picked up in a very precise way. And then it's cleaned in a very precise way. Not with both hands. Just one finger.

[76:37]

Now, if it's really dirty and it's covered with cheese, you can do it any way you want. But the usual way is a particular usual way. Now, what's the reason it should be conceptually clear? First, I have to do each part absolutely as conceptually clear as possible, though sometimes I goof up. Some woman I heard recently was some news commentator in American television. Was, had to read her news. And the first item on the news she was supposed to read, you know, it's on a little screen, she's pretending she's not reading.

[77:44]

In this case it was on paper. Anyway, and the first item she was supposed to read was about Paris Hilton. I'm sure this woman was a feminist in the image of Paris Hilton. She's not as dim-witted as she appears. Dim is smart? Dim-witted means the opposite of smart. So she refused to read this news item. But in refusing to read the news item, and then trying to read others, she realized she was not following what the station wanted and she got screwed up and got it all messed up.

[78:49]

She got it all messed up. And so she got all upset and she tore it up and right on television she tried to burn it. She probably ended her career, I don't know. So I don't expect you, once you mess up during, or you'll keep smashing your... But it should be conceptually clear. Because if it's conceptually clear, you can get how it's done. And how it relates to all the other aspects of the Uriyoki.

[80:13]

Like, when I'm speaking, if I can make each unit I speak conceptually clear, she can translate it. She has a problem as soon as I'm not conceptually clear or as soon as I conflate things into a kind of not clear conception. Now, am I doing this just so that you can imitate me? Not really. I'm doing it because consciousness is a tapestry of concepts. And unless you find a way to feel the concepts that construct consciousness, You really can't develop a dharmic awareness.

[81:13]

Because a dharmic awareness means you begin to see things as appearances. You don't see an implied continuity. You see as if I close my eyes and I open my eyes and I see you. I close my eyes and I open my eyes and I see you. So even if I keep my eyes open, I see you as a series of moments. Whereas if I shift from you to you, each one is conceptually clear, conceptually clear, conceptually clear. Within that conceptual clarity, you can feel each separate sense field.

[82:15]

As I hear, see, proprioceptively know, even smell each situation. Because we actually smell each other's moods. I mean, mosquitoes know it. If you're in one mood, mosquitoes are going to land on you. You can change your state of mind so your smell's a little different. Mosquitoes go with your neighbor. If you're in one mood, mosquitoes are going to land on you. My practice is so good, all the mosquitoes are unheard. And then leaking would be, say, you get all emotional, come back, mosquitoes, leave her alone. That would be the leaked of feelings.

[83:28]

Are you beginning to get the picture? Yes, Mona. I appreciate ariyuki practice and also the way you present it. I don't know if you can feel me. And I feel myself in the concept when something is not clear and I don't quite understand it and I very consciously try to change it conceptually. That's what she's doing at the moment.

[84:46]

And when I say things like, do each thing with a feeling of completeness, you put your hand on the glass, you feel the coolness. And then you pick it up and you put it at a chakra point. You move it into the field of the body. And you stop when there's a feeling of completeness. And that's also finding your seat. You know. One of the wonderful things that you discover in practice is waiting in line. So as I say, you go into the grocery store, you find the longest line, and you stay in it.

[85:50]

I mean, not every time you shop, but occasionally. And you feel the presence of the person in front of you and back. I used to... As I've said, we used to go out and greet Suzuki Roshi at the door to his office that we'd go through. But there's another door over here. So I was kind of like the president and so forth, that kind of thing of the Zen Center. So I always had things to do. So I would, while the line was, I'd leave my place in line, go talk to somebody, go do this, and then later tell me about the windmill and blah, blah, blah, and then I'd get back in my place in line.

[86:59]

And I always went back in line. And one time I was out in the hall, sort of saying, please get in touch with me later. And then suddenly Sukhriya, she appeared. He left the line. He grabbed me. He's a little guy, you know. He always seemed bigger than me. But I've seen him in photographs. It's like this. Beside me. He grabbed me like this and threw me down. And had a stick and started whamming me and saying, whamming me, you should understand under my anger. And it went on for like about 30 blows, some traditional number.

[88:06]

So he threw me down, then he hit me with his stick again and again and said, you should understand that under my anger. And that took about 30 hits, so some traditional number of hits. And he screamed and had a leak. I went back and got in line. And after that I stayed in line and just waited, you know. What the heck, what have I got better to do than stand in line with nice people? So there's a sense when you pick up something of knowing when something is complete. Yeah. And so that's one. And the other that I often emphasize is feeling when something nourishes you.

[89:14]

And those two things plus a phrase like pause for the particular. Or just now is enough. Are all phrases or practices you can use to enter into this dense fine weave. If you don't feel the conceptual clarity of things and give conceptual clarity of things, you can't enter dharmically into conceptual consciousness. So our little Oyuki practice is a chance to feel this completeness, this nourishment, this conceptual clarity To get the feel of it in this little practice. If we're in monastic practice, you can do it much more widely, but all we have is the ryokan.

[90:30]

And things like in the Zendo, we don't cross the line of the altar. When we're up close to the altar. Or as I said to Frank the other day, when he puts his cushion down, he doesn't just take a shortcut to the altar. He goes around his cushion and then he creates. This is a now we're creating and you decide to create a certain way. So there's an invisible structure that we create. And it allows us to, as Dogen says, to complete that which appears. I said to the Rastenberg Austrian psychotherapeutic group, imagine that there's an invisible structure here.

[92:03]

And you let yourself down into it. Because there is an invisible structure here. It's like, again, if you look down into a lake, and you see a stone at the bottom of the lake, you can see the water through which you see the stone. And you know the stone is somewhat, the colors are brightened and the stone is somewhat enlarged by the water. Yeah, so you can see the water through which you're seeing the stone. Mm-hmm. well, I'm seeing you through the water of mind.

[93:18]

And practice is to be able to see the water of mind through which I'm seeing you. In each sense, someone mentioned to me today how they find the world a little different on the inhale than on the exhale. They hear the bird a little differently on the exhale than the inhale. That's the texture of consciousness. I'm looking for a German word. Okay. Now, do we not notice those things because our mindfulness is not refined enough? Artly. Do we not notice it because our seat is not established enough in our spine?

[94:26]

Yeah, partly. Because if you don't have your reference point in situated immediacy, if you don't have your reference point in the conceptual clarity even, of being seated in your spine, then you transfer your reference point to the outside world. If you transfer your reference point to the outside world, it becomes a container. If it becomes a container, there's an assumed continuity. If there's an assumed continuity, you don't notice subtle differences. And this is called the leak of views.

[95:49]

I can just tell you it's right here in the text. Well, somewhere. The leak of views refers clinging to a fixed viewpoint in how you see the world. Like thinking the world is a container and the world is continuous and not discontinuous. So to get some experience at noticing things with a conceptual clarity allows you to see what doesn't fit into the conceptual clarity.

[97:06]

It's not about being stuck in conceptual clarity. It's seeing the boundaries of each thing. Also Erfahrung damit zu sammeln, wie man die Dinge in konzeptueller Klarheit sieht, das gibt euch ein Gefühl dafür, was diese konzeptuelle Klarheit bedeutet. Und das bedeutet nicht, in der konzeptuellen Klarheit gefangen zu sein, sondern ein Gefühl für die Grenzen von einer jeden Sache zu bekommen. Then you feel the mystery. Und dann spürst du das Geheimnisvolle, das Mysterium. Let's go back to our standard example. You hear a bird. If you think you're hearing an entity, you think you're hearing the bird. If you're hearing it from the poetry of the Sambhogakaya body, then you hear your own hearing of the bird. dann hörst du dein eigenes Hören des Hörens des Vogels.

[98:11]

That's conceptual clarity. Und das ist konzeptuelle Klarheit. If you hear the bird as an entity, then you're hearing the bias or wrong view of continuity, of entity-ness. Und wenn du aber hörst, dass der Vogel eine Entität ist, dann hörst du eigentlich nur... of entity-ness. It's good enough. The bias of a view. So if you hear If there's conceptual clarity, you hear your own hearing. Then you know what other birds hear is much wider. In the sutras it's called the reality limit.

[99:12]

You know the reality limit. You know the conceptual clarity. So you know, hey, there's a lot outside the limits. Yeah, so the weave is dense and fine. Making every detail. How could this be ever spoken of even spoken of on the same day as false cause or no cause? This goes beyond causation or no causation. By seeing every detail you see the mystery. in which you see every detail, you see the mystery.

[100:29]

What kind of experience is that, when you don't see the spirit, but just see the bird, but as if it was hit by a thunder, and yet the bird somehow... So what kind of experience is it when you don't see the mind, but you just see the bird, but you feel like being hit by a miracle, and yeah, it's just the bird? Yeah, well, that would be what I mean by conceptual clarity. Because in effect, in some level, I would say you are hearing your own hearing or you're experiencing the bird within your own senses. Somebody told me the other day that they were in Aldi. I mean, it's one of our Dharma brothers and sisters' favorite places. And it's just old Aldi.

[101:43]

No, it's a new one. But she said it was like a crystal palace. Everything was absolutely beautiful and shining. That's seeing from the Sambhogakaya body. But at that moment I'm not thinking that this is conceptual and I'm seeing my mind. No, you may not be. But probably that's what's happening. And that happens more and more continuously when you practice with these things and begin to notice it and hold it, then it becomes just the natural way of knowing.

[102:53]

So you get a feel for it, you try it out, and then it begins to be just the way you see. Shall I keep going to try to finish? We're almost done. This eulogizes the world-honored one's easy-going abundance. Now the world-honored one in this sentence has become the Dharmakaya Buddha. Weaving the ancient brocade incorporating the forms of spring. Although this is like insects living on wood.

[103:57]

This is very much like what I call Lebit space where the mind is just the editor. The circumstances are bringing out the actions. Although he makes his cart behind closed doors, now what does that relate to? Closing the door and sleeping. And now we're beginning to complete the circle of the koan. When he brings it out from this wider mind or big mind, which isn't consciousness, it fits the grooves. You understand that before paved roads, I left out what you just said before.

[104:58]

The wider mind of something. The wider mind or big mind. It fits the grooves. You know that, of course, before there were paved roads, every road had grooves. And if your axle wasn't the same length, you couldn't ride on the roads because you had to ride in the grooves. Now, finally, Ching Chien Dung gives the final put-down of Manjushri. And here we have this apophatic style of Zen. Manjushri, who is the teacher of the seven Buddhas before Buddha, is now put down by Tiendang. Nothing can be done about this poor guy's leaking. And now we go the opposite direction.

[106:17]

When Kashyapa struck the gavel, you all read the comment in the back of the book about that? There's a story that Kashyapa, who was rather, Maha Kashyapa was a rather strict, maybe rather moral person, wanted to exclude Manjushri from the Sangha because instead of going to the summer retreat Manjushri was hanging out in the wine shops and the brothels So Kashyapa struck the gavel and said, you don't belong in the Sangha. And as he did it, a billion Manjushris appeared.

[107:34]

And he had to admit he was outnumbered. All the same, Why are gathering in and letting go not to sing? Here's one of the main teaching devices. Gathering in and letting go. The gathering way, the gathering way and the granting way. As I said the other day, you're not Buddha, you're not Buddha, you're Buddha. This is the granting way, this is the gathering way, you're not Buddha.

[108:35]

I'm sorry to ever say that to you. And this is like experientially, when you use the door, you stop at the door, you stop thinking, and you feel the room. That's the gathering anyway. Everything feels connected and is coming towards you. When you're thinking, the world is separated. When you're feeling just the field of mind, things gather. There's no separation. You tell me where it is that Manjushri has leaked. What is meant by leaking, it says. And then we have this little poem.

[109:54]

Carefully to open the spice tree buds. Do you know who opens the spice tree buds? Incorporating the forms of spring. The winter branches group. That's what winter branches means. It's there when spring comes. And he lets out the fine spring on the branches. Now we have more apophases. The world under one ascended the seat. Today he's not sleeping and closing the door. He's not at rest at all. Then the next line, Manjushri struck the gavel. And said the Dharma, the Dharma king is thus.

[111:06]

So now Wansong takes that away. I don't know what's going on in his mind. This is a kind of counterpoint, counterpoint way of teaching. Yeah, so the world on its own got down from this seat. Deal again another game. This is just poker. The unique breeze of reality. Don't let it blow in your eyes. It's hard to get out. If you do see things this way, you're sort of stuck in practice. In other words, if you come to a certain level of practice, it's too late to go back to conventional reality. Better continue.

[112:07]

Join the winter branches. It's especially hard to get out of the winter branches once you're there. Spring might come. Ingeniously, creation runs her loom and shuttle. Yeah, various differences mix in the woof. Weaving the ancient brocade. The ancient brocade, of course, can mean the adept practitioner, the lineage holder, etc. The one who knows the tradition. But actually a great adept is like a fool. Inept.

[113:12]

Nothing can be done about Manjushri's leaking after all. Yin and yang, these are the principles of the relationship of heaven and earth. You know, I think I've told you before, in the Chinese version of things, heaven's not up there. Heaven and earth were a conjugal couple. And it was kind of hard to separate them. I kept wanting to come back together. And Yin and Yang describes that relationship. And they are the way conventional reality works. And the seasons do not overlap.

[114:14]

So one, the yin and yang have no irregular succession. It means being in the world as it's usually conceived. And the seasons do not overlap. It means to see the independence of each thing. What I call inter-independence. Well, I didn't stick to my dinner plans. But we did in some sense complete the koan for now. And I hope... Yeah. I hope this has deepened our individual and our together approach to koans.

[115:33]

And sometimes I went slow enough and sometimes I went too fast. And I hope In the ways I went too fast, it will become clear at some other time. This has been deeply satisfying for me to be here with you. Thank you very much.

[116:04]

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