So again, you're looking at... Because there's various ways to study yourself and study the world. And Buddhism is a particular way. It's a way that emphasizes the... the truth and necessity of connectedness. And within connectedness, what is separateness? You could have another kind of teaching, but this is the emphasis in Buddhism. So you have to choose, is this the emphasis you want?

[01:03]

And is this the emphasis which comes closest to the truth of how we exist? So, also in the Dogan, line. Koan is also translated as universal and particular. As the notes actually in the book say, something like this. So, just now Sitting here feeling relatively complete? Is this universal and particular?

[02:03]

Is there a universality to this particularity? So there's an understanding here that the universal is only understood, realized through the particular. So as soon as you have a mind that generalizes all the time, you're several steps removed from actual experience. And as soon as you have a state of mind that has generalized everything, you are very far away from the direct experience. I think of two scientists, I know one of them and I know the story. And they would talk back and forth together. And experience together Something which they knew, oh, that's true.

[03:19]

They had an experience of it being true. Once they had the experience, then they do the mathematics the next few days to show that their experience was right. Mm-hmm. This is more kind of the Buddhist way of working. Okay, so we can look at the title like this. Then we go to the first sentence we've already discussed. When all things are the Buddha Dharma, there is delusion and realization, practice, birth and death, and sentient beings and Buddhas.

[04:37]

Now if you don't yet really... Now this line, again, is a line to be believed. If you're practicing this, you have to take it seriously. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You didn't translate that, did you? I don't know a word of German, but I know what he's doing. You do, yeah? Yeah. So if you don't yet... If you can't feel you live in a world where there can be Buddhas,

[05:46]

It may not be because Buddhas are not possible in this defiled age. Or this distracted, mundane, commercial world. in which all of our attention is diverted to products that might be found in a warehouse or department store. But it might be because for you all things are not the Buddha Dharma. Now Dogen is pointing out that if you don't yet know the world as the habitat of Buddhas,

[06:58]

then you probably don't see the world as you don't see that all things are the Buddha Dharma. Now, the title gives us a sense of what he means when all things are the Buddha Dharma. All things are the Buddha Dharma when each that appears is complete. Now, you know, this is quite possible to do. It's no big deal. If your intention is deep enough and you really would like to do that, it's not so difficult.

[08:13]

But what's the problem? But what is the problem? We have subtle forms of self permanence. So what does the second line say? When there is no abiding self, So Dogen is saying, okay, if you want to see all things as Buddha Dharma, you need no abiding self. Well, let's give up. Are you serious? I'm just translating.

[09:15]

Oh. Sorry. I'm glad you haven't given up. I haven't. Okay. You said it so convincingly, though. Yes, I have. Yeah, let's just give up. Let's just give up. Is that convincing, too? Yeah. So that's why working with Dogen's text is so difficult, because really, no abiding self. I mean, Dogen, you know, throws the gauntlet down. The gauntlet. Gauntlet is the glove a knight throws down to challenge another knight. He says, you want to read my text? Okay, fine, just... Read it when you have no abiding self.

[10:17]

Then you can go on to the third line. Thanks a lot. There you are. Okay, so we have to have some kind of sense of what it means to have no abiding self. He doesn't say just no abiding self in you. He says no abiding self in things. Which is the basic thing. Mahayana position of it's not just selflessness of the person, it's selflessness of phenomena. And what could this mean? How can we make this accessible to ourselves?

[11:30]

In us now, in this practice, which is a new wisdom teaching. Let me come back to my emphasis again. You know, I've been actually quite touched by a man named Harold Bloom, who's, to simplify his position, he would say that we don't just live in a Judeo-Christian Christian culture. We live in a Shakespearean, Dante-esque culture. He would say that Shakespeare, primarily in Dante as well, created what we in the West think of as human. And he says that Shakespeare did not write about his contemporaries.

[12:51]

There were no such people alive when Shakespeare was alive. That Shakespeare created the possibilities of people that didn't at that time exist. He imagined human beings, the potential of human, he imagined and wrote down potential of human beings. And Dante and other great writers did similar things. And even if you haven't read Shakespeare or Dante everybody in the West is actually living out these types of persons now. I basically think something like this is true.

[14:02]

You can think of all the books you've read. Rebecca at Sunnybrook Farm, I read once. So Rebecca's in there somewhere. You can read all the books you have read so far. I have read a book, Rebecca's Sunnywood farm. Sunnybrook farm. And that is now in me. You can call me Rebecca later. You can call me Rebecca later. So what we've read, we tend to think, oh, we can imagine a kind of person now. And I have a sort of adopted daughter who, you know, it's not quite right. She sees me as a father figure, put it that way.

[15:24]

And she, I don't see her very often, or I hope she wouldn't feel this way. I don't see her very often, or I would hope she doesn't feel the way she does. She's shaping her whole life around celebrities. I'm trying to, though I don't see her very often, influence her a little bit. Maybe Bodhisattvas instead of celebrities. I haven't given up. What we call in Buddhism the lion's mind. means that you know all situations are workable from the point of view of enlightenment.

[16:44]

So I have to be careful when I see her not to roar. So there's this strange... continuity in our story of ourselves. Going back like with the Haida Indians back 12,000 or more years. And then there's this incredible simultaneous malleability of who we are.

[17:55]

What's malleability? Ability to shape or form like clay is malleable. So I think you can think of Buddhism as a stream within a culture which asks us to recognize our malleability, that we have the power to decide what we are. If If we put the intention of a bodhisattva at the root of our being instead of the intention we got from our culture and parents, then it's possible that we create a Buddha field. Do you want to do it? Have you got something better to do?

[19:14]

Yeah, I didn't have anything better to do, son. Giving it a shot, anyway. Now imagine you're in a snowstorm. And you're lost. Like probably has happened around here recently. Or in this, you know, Switzerland. Austria. And you've given up the hope of finding anything. The snow is blinding. And then you see a light out in the dark. A sentient being. And you'll light up. Or you see somebody else walking in the snow. obviously knowing where they are, and you light up.

[20:29]

Yeah, I think all of you would, let's use the term, light up, wouldn't you? What a wonderful thing of a sentient being. What is a bodhisattva? Someone who feels this every time they see a human being. Now, if it's possible for you to feel it in a snowstorm, why not when the weather is good? So we know it's possible. And we wouldn't wish it on human beings that it snowed all the time. And it's easier when we see babies. Dogs.

[21:45]

But adult human beings... So, if you want to imagine a world in which there are Buddhas, It means you will practice, discover, explore when you light up with another sentient being and when you don't. Nowadays I think the only time we light up or have a shamanic intervention Or wisdom intervention. Is when we fall in love. And I think all these love songs, I mean, there's just millions of love songs on the radio. And how often are we in love?

[23:14]

I mean... Really, if you're lucky, a few times in your life, but there's millions of love songs. So... So what is this longing for? I think it's really the love songs are just the only way we can even talk to ourselves about this wisdom intervention or shamanic intervention. When we really feel our aliveness. But the Bodhisattva is someone who comes into this aliveness on each moment. Even in the middle of the night, when a motorcycle whizzes by and wakes you up, the Bodhisattva turns over in her bed and says, Ah, I'm sentient being.

[24:30]

And a small flower blooms in them. I'm not kidding. When you light up like this, it means you no longer have an abiding self. It means you are generating a Buddha field. And when you light up with someone else, you light up their Buddha nature. And you begin to feel that Buddhahood is possible. Well, I'm only half done what I thought maybe I should talk about today.

[26:01]

But the time is more than fully done. So I'll come back tomorrow or this afternoon. But you see, We're talking about subtle forms of self here. And what would it mean to be free of an abiding self? I think we can understand this. And I think if the seeds are in us, these flowers will bloom in each of us. Thank you very much. Thank you for translating.

[27:12]

You're welcome. Ono muji seikan ban Ono muji seikan ga ku Butsudo mujo seikan jo I love you, [...] I love you. Jai [...]

[29:26]

Pah-ra-ge-dee-mah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah nega wakuban nyorai nyor shinjutsu nyo geshi tate matsuran One unsurpassed Yudhisthira and Pula Dharma can be found in hundreds of thousands of millions of Alpas only rarely. Now that I listen to him and listen to him, I believe the truth of the Tathagata to be true. You know, at Crestone I always tell people about what's going on here.

[30:59]

And so I'd like to, at some point during this week, or maybe today, tell you something about what's going on at Crestone. So as I said earlier, I think I have this site plan and architectural plans and models for these buildings. Ich habe die Pläne und auch die Pappmodelle für das, was wir da bauen wollen, mit mir. So, if there's some point, I don't know, you can decide. When we could have a table and those of you are interested, I could show you. Takes ten minutes or so. Und ich würde das dann gerne auf einem Tisch aufbauen und für die von euch, die interessiert sind, Würde ich das gerne erklären und das braucht vielleicht zehn Minuten. And Crestone may seem quite remote to you. Far away.

[32:06]

But actually you just go to gate 5 at any airport. And very competent people take care of the rest. And then we meet you somewhere and you have a good time. I enjoyed it. It was good to see some of you in Doksan this morning. Thank you. And because of Dogen's text and your discussions and your practice, we have many important questions before us. We have many important questions before us.

[33:08]

Even profound questions. Yeah. Yeah, and it keeps coming up this question of choice, of decisions, etc. Yeah, change. Everything's changing, so decisions are a kind of, or an aspect, expression of change. When we make big decisions, sometimes we say, I had no choice. And then we have Dogen's poem.

[34:24]

Even the spring breeze breaks apart the peach blossoms. The very breeze that brings us their fragrance breaks them apart. The very breeze that brings us their fragrance breaks them apart. And yet, what does he say? Doubt does not grow branches and leaves. You know, I don't think, I used to remember, I'd say, does the tree have doubt? Does the mountain have doubt? You know what? I don't think we think the mountain has any doubt.

[36:01]

And the tree has to make small choices, whether to bump into this brick wall. But mostly the tree doesn't have any doubt. I even think Oscar has less doubt than we do. So what's our problem? I think our body, I think we know what to do. Most of the time we know what to do.

[37:03]

So let me say something about this distinction I make often between awareness and consciousness. And... Consciousness again has this, excuse me for going over it again, has this root SCI, which means to cut, to separate. So consciousness I use to mean our thinking comparative consciousness. Comparative consciousness. Our thinking, our comparative consciousness. And when you wake up in the morning, you enter into very quickly comparative consciousness.

[38:11]

Dreaming mind is a mind closer to what I mean by awareness. When somebody, some person is in a coma, for instance, they're not conscious in the usual sense, but usually, often, we find they're aware of what's going on in the room. So awareness has various qualities. One, it it knows what's going on most of the time. It has a quality, a viscosity, in which intention moves or floats, but the thinking doesn't move or float. Like you wake up in your morning and your dream sinks.

[39:23]

But if you can bring back awareness or bring back dreaming mind, the dream floats to the surface again. So you can think of this as a different kind of liquid. Awareness doesn't support much structure. And one of the faculties of mind is the capacity to create structure. And the ability of the mind to have structure is what allows us to generate a structure. observing consciousness that can observe mind. And awareness is very fast. If you're walking along with a bunch of packages, as I say, and you trip on something in the sidewalk, generally you fall, protect yourself, even protect the packages.

[40:55]

And it's much faster than you could think. Where should I put my elbow and how do I protect this base? So there's almost an instant switch and awareness flows into the body. And awareness extends beyond the body. For example, when we have the experience of someone's looking at us and we turn around and they're there. And awareness is also very still. It does a lot of things.

[42:04]

But it doesn't support conceptual thinking. We can think of awareness as like the ripples in water. Which are always in relationship to water itself. So it's like one of the things we can say about awareness is there is a quality of knowing. So it's not the completely undivided field of mind. There's a quality of knowing, but that knowing is always related to the field of mind. So it like swells up, there's a knowing, but then it relates, melts back into the field of mind. Well, consciousness is more like a bunch of glasses of water.

[43:13]

Or water in a lot of different containers. And there's very little relationship to other water. That's more the relationship of this glass to that glass. There's beer and grape juice and all kinds of things. And sometimes a glass of grape juice or even beer is quite good. Even though the glass of beer may put us back into awareness. A little bit anyway. So consciousness, usually there's always a comparison in consciousness to other contents of consciousness.

[44:25]

To other glasses of water. But seldom, I mean, the direction of consciousness is toward separation from the field of mind. Do you understand? And the direction of awareness is always back toward the field of mind. It's the same water. But we can say the same water. But the direction and the function is different. Everything tends to have its own interiority. And then develop a different way of functioning. So a bunch of glasses of water can be very useful, if I want to give you a glass of water. But it functions differently than water itself.

[45:41]

So different emphases turn into different functions. Now our society, particularly develops the clarity and preciseness of consciousness. This is great. Why not continue? Yoga culture may develop that, but it also emphasizes the development of this kind of consciousness related to the field of mind. So let's call awareness then non-conscious knowing. So if you had a phrase in Zen, non-conscious knowing, you'd say, oh, those Zen people, what the heck are they talking about?

[47:13]

So you said it in German, you really not know what you're talking about. It sounds about this big. Anyway... non-conscious knowing. Now, we could say one of the main purposes of zazen is to become, first to notice non-conscious knowing. To notice awareness. And as you begin to notice awareness, notice awareness also begins to develop. It becomes more present in your life.

[48:24]

It surfaces in your life more. It surfaces at night more, too. For example, one of the fruits or examples of non-conscious knowing is lucid dreaming. Awareness fills your dream and you're present in it and aware of it at the same time. And at night you often can be aware of what's going on in the room and stay asleep. Consciousness is asleep, but awareness is conscious. You know, we don't have words for these distinctions, so I have to use one to describe the other.

[49:33]

So sometimes in Sesshin you'll notice how you're asleep but kind of conscious all night. I said to someone this morning, I think we could call Sesshin's shamatha practice. Ich dachte, dass zu jemandem heute Morgen, ich denke, wir könnten Seishin's shamatha praxis nennen. This practice week we could call insight practice. Und diese praxiswoche können wir insight praxis nennen. An insight week or something like that. Eine Woche des nach innen gehen. Because what we're doing in this kind of practice week is attempting to see if we can think with awareness. It's really what we're doing. Because awareness not only functions through the field of mind, but awareness is much more embedded in the body.

[50:53]

Awareness is much more physicalized. So what you're trying to do when you bring zazen into your daily life, is that now that you have a physical sense of awareness the way you might have a physical sense of dreaming mind in contrast to waking mind you learn to bring that physical sense of awareness into your activity. And poets and artists and athletes all have to do this to some extent. But, you know, yoga culture much more consciously teaches the realization of awareness than does our culture.

[52:17]

As I jokingly say, we use it mostly to teach our babies not to wet their beds at night. So awareness wakes them up when they have to go to the toilet. Or keeps them from wetting their bed. No, no, I'm not supposed to do that. But awareness can do many things. Okay, so how do we let awareness into our daily life? I don't know. You discover it for yourself as awareness becomes

[53:21]

real for you. But one thing is to trust acting. To let yourself act. Or let your body do things. For example, I'm still trying to learn to do this. For example, I go into my room. Should I do the dishes first or pick up the laundry? I don't think about it. I just let my body start doing one or the other. And often I find, for example, maybe I pick up the laundry first. Even though the dishes look pretty bad.

[54:32]

But then I find that my body has remembered that I have a visitor coming. And until I picked up the laundry, there's no place for the visitor to sit. And while I'm making tea for the visitor, I can actually do some of the dishes. So I keep trying to trust my body, you know. What does it want to do? One of the fruits of this is my body is much happier. Thanks for letting me make some of the decisions. I've been in prison for a long time. I'm not so dumb as you think, says my buddy. And I find I enjoy myself more because my body enjoys the activity more when it's made the choice. And almost always, there are very few decisions that I really have to make by thinking.

[55:50]

The more I get the skill of how to Let my body, trust my body. Sometimes I have to go do shopping to do a number of errands. And I try to remember what am I supposed to do even. And sometimes I remember, oh, I've got to buy this, but which store? Yeah. And then sort of like a horse finding its way to the barn. And I find my body at the car. At the car, yeah.

[57:01]

And then I think, well, I guess I didn't need to buy that. I'm happier not to buy it. So I practice not thinking as much as I can. And I find I'm much happier. Sometimes I run out of Kleenex, but then I use toilet paper. Anyway, I can't explain exactly how you let awareness begin to be present in your life and give consciousness a break.

[58:06]

Let awareness do what it can and let consciousness do only those things that awareness can't do. This you have to discover for yourself. But again, it's a craft, a craft you discover through meditation practice and mindfulness practice. Suzuki Roshi always used to say, we usually know what to do. Let that knowing function. And by the way, if A good friend of mine used to practice with me, named David Chadwick, has written a biography of Sukershi called Crooked Cucumber.

[59:23]

And some of you Suzuki's teacher gave him the nickname Crooked Cucumber. His teacher never imagined, I'm quite sure, it would ever be said in German in 1999. And by a man twice as tall as he was. Yeah. So you see, we act and then we don't know what happens.

[60:26]

So anyway, the book is quite good, I think. And we had orders for about 50 copies or something here, so we're having 50 copies sent here. It won't, I don't know, there will eventually be a German translation, but I doubt if it will be for a year or more. And it's only in hardbound. But if any of you... I have a couple copies. If the people who I loan them to will return them. And I'll put them on the table with the architectural plans. So if any of you want to order one, you could probably speak to Petra or something like that.

[61:34]

Okay. So you should, the first to start with, you should know that awareness is always present. And one of its faces is... non-graspable feeling. And another is an implicit knowing in the background of our activity. Now, all Zen stories virtually, everything Dogen says, assumes this distinction and that you know this distinction.

[62:43]

Alle Zen Geschichten, und speziell die von Dogen, setzen voraus, dass ihr diesen Unterschied kennt. You can't really read Dogen without realizing he's talking about awareness most of the time. Ihr könnt Dogen nicht wirklich lesen, bevor ihr nicht realisiert habt, dass er über Gewahrsein spricht. Okay. Now I think I should say something about... Please, you know, I'm talking so long, I'm very sorry, so please sit comfortably. You all sit up on the ledge of the window. Ah... Okay, so I think I should say something about the bodhisattva vow.

[63:53]

Because I think this is a process that we all are part of, even if we don't recognize it. So the first intimation of the bodhisattva vow... What's intimation? Intimation means to intimate, to feel something, for signs, for small signs. The first intimation is... When you're very little, you begin to see that there's suffering in the world. And you think it would be nice if people didn't suffer.

[64:55]

I remember During the Vietnam War, looking at these horrible pictures of the war. And my daughter, who was four or so at the time, she's now 35, lives in Portugal. She came over beside my wife and myself at the time and began turning the pages further on. She was trying to prevent us from suffering by looking at these pictures. So this is an intimation of the bodhisattva vow.

[66:04]

And we responded to it, recognizing her in the process of making this vow. But she wanted people not to suffer. She didn't want the people whose pictures were in the magazine to suffer, and she didn't want Virginia and myself to suffer. So the first stage, we could say, of the bodhisattva vow is the feeling of, it would be nice if people didn't suffer. And the second stage, because this kind of motivation has to be accompanied by courage.

[67:11]

Usually we brush these intimations aside and think, well, there's nothing we can do about it. And so many little kids want to be not just firemen, they say, but veterinarians. I'm surprised how many kids, when they're little, want to be veterinarians and take care of dogs and cats. And then some of those Incipient veterinarians become medical doctors. Or various ways that we can help people.

[68:14]

We respond in some way. But the second stage is to let the suffering of the... to actually not put it aside, to let it seep into you. You just let it get into you. And it usually makes us very sad. And you feel hopeless. And sometimes actually preceding an enlightenment experience A person may weep for days. They don't know why they're weeping. But you know, waking mind has its walls.

[69:16]

Dreaming mind is mostly not conscious. But awareness that comes forth in zazen doesn't have the same walls. And the weeping of the world can come directly into us. We have this expression in English, the veil of tears. The veil is lifted. We have the expression, the veil of sorrow, or also the veil of sorrow is lifted. So if you have courage, you just allow yourself to feel this, no matter how, where it carries you.

[70:37]

You know, you're not able to get so practical. Well, there's nothing I can do. I'll cut it off. Maybe sometimes you do this, but there's something in you that doesn't want to cut it off. Such a person might be in a pre-Buddhist state. Or even a pre-Buddha state. So the third stage... after letting this so much suffering in the world come into you and how we treat each other and so forth.

[71:54]

You decide, I will end the suffering. It's not about being able to do it. It's about making a decision to try. I'm sorry to sound schmaltzy, but this is the way it is. You just decide, yeah, someone has to do something. I'll do something. You don't know what, but you're going to do something. I will end people's suffering if possible in any way I can and I'll end the causes of suffering and you recognize you can't end neurotic suffering

[73:01]

And you can't end physical suffering. People will hurt if you hit them. But it is possible to end existential suffering. the suffering that is really at the root of how we experience physical and neurotic suffering. So that's the third stage. And the fourth stage is you decide, I'll do it all alone if necessary. This much determination comes into you.

[74:14]

And this kind of strength and determination is what's needed for realization. There's no enlightenment inside your personality. There's no enlightenment or practice inside your psychology. You have to enter the big world. How we actually exist. And you extend your responsibility, not just to your personal life. or to your family life. But you extend your responsibility to our human life. Our sentient life. And that big responsibility then you bring back to your family and your personal life.

[75:33]

This is a responsibility you have whether you like it or not. And my belief is, and my observation is, that when you deny this responsibility, you tend to make yourself sick or narrow. So you decide, I will do this all by myself if necessary. And if I can join with others, I will. As we're doing here. In the fifth stage, as you say, And this is why it's called the Bodhisattva vow.

[76:47]

If to end people's suffering requires me to attain Buddhahood, I'll do it. That's a very different decision than, you know, life's a mess, I'd really like to be enlightened. There's no power in this. This is not about Buddhism. That's about some kind of... you know, yeah, nice relief. This is not what Buddhism means by enlightenment. So you say, I will attain Buddhahood. But I'll never put the attainment of Buddhahood above simply helping people.

[77:54]

So that's why it's called the altruistic attainment. aspiration for enlightenment. Because even the aspiration for enlightenment or Buddhahood is secondary to simply being of service to people. One of the fruits of recognizing this process in us, a process of recognizing what our real, our true responsibility is, as a sentient being in this world of sentience, is again going back to making decisions.

[79:09]

It makes decisions a lot easier. And when we recognize our true responsibility, It gives a depth to all our decisions. And we enter the world. I mean, I guarantee you, if you come to make this decision really consciously, thoroughly, you'll feel truly at home in the world for the first time. then we can understand Dogen's statement much better.

[80:15]

The coming and going of birth and death is the true human body. There's no boundaries to this true human body. It is the coming and going of birth and death. When I look at you, I see my true human body. I know that you are my true human body. It's not just this. This means that this is helpless without you. And everything. So the coming and going of birth and death is the true human body. The coming and going of birth and death is where ordinary people wander about, drift about.

[81:22]

And the word samsara means to drift about. So the coming and going of birth and death is the true human body. The coming and going of birth and death is where most people drift about. But it is also where sages are illuminated. Yeah, okay, we can go on to the rest of this section this afternoon or tomorrow. That's enough for today, I think.

[82:23]

Thank you very much.

[82:25]

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