Yeah, first you had a question. Oh, no, no, you have to say it again. And probably standing up. For me it's love. You can say it in German. For me, the laughter is central. And I have understood so far from Zen Buddhism that for me, that there is a very high quality on different levels of this laughing.

[01:05]

But I am talking about laughing. And in connection with the energy and the breathing I would very much like to know at what point this breathing and this energy is lost or will be for me. Or that the concentration, so concentration and laughing. Okay. Can you translate? Again? Yes, I don't know. I'll tell you the question. Okay, I'll translate again. Laughing is very central. Laughing. Laughing, not smiling. Smiling maybe too, but more laughing. And she heard and explored herself that...

[02:06]

various levels of her energy and concentration and so forth are involved in this laughing. And she would like to know more about this turning point where you can actually gain energy or lose energy or start leaking in the middle of this laughing. Well, the most important thing is you noticed that there's a point of leaking. Lots of people leak all the time and don't know they're leaking. One good part of Sashin experience is that it's intense and concentrated enough to give you a clear sense of when you leak. And going, speaking of the Eightfold Path again, again the practice of

[03:10]

right speech and right conduct and livelihood, it's right or complete or correct when your views and intentions are fully manifested in your speech, conduct and livelihood. are manifested within awareness. Another measure or check on right or complete speech, conduct and livelihood. It's when in your speech, for example, you don't feel any leaking.

[04:39]

And so if you don't know this leaking point or this leaking experience, you can't practice with it. Once you feel the energy in your... can feel speech as energy, then you can feel when it's nourishing you and restoring you or when you're losing in... And then practice is to try to stay at that point where you're not holding back and yet you're not leaking. And when you can do that, that's right speech. I should mention again, as I almost always mention, the five fears.

[06:05]

The five fears certainly show what's important to most people and which are ways we take care of ourselves. But at the same time, we have to be not too fearful around these ways of taking care of ourselves if you're going to practice. And one of the bases for practice is It has to start with being satisfied with your life just now. And if it's not, try finding out how to find satisfaction in your life just now. Or adjusting, coming to terms with your life until you find satisfaction. Okay, the five fears are fear of loss of livelihood.

[07:24]

You know, you have to have a job, but don't be too worried about it. This morning when I thought I might have to take a taxi here for Zazen, I wasn't sure I should wear my robes because I'm not sure I could get a taxi to take me. But Beate arrived just in time. So... So fear of loss of livelihood, fear of loss of reputation, fear of loss of life, fear of unusual states of mind, which is particularly important for meditation because you enter states of mind that you can't compare with anyone else's.

[08:33]

And the fifth is fear of speaking before an assembly. And I was thinking, because it was a little difficult for you to speak, But this territory, I mean, for all of us it's a little different, even for me too, though I've been doing it a lot. But you need to move more and more toward just presenting yourself. And that too means in your job, are you able to speak out in your job the way you feel, or in your country? And all these have something to do with leaking or not leaking.

[09:50]

You had a question? My question is how to handle quite strong emotions like fear, anger Sadness I'm familiar with those emotions. The worst thing is not to feel them. So the worst thing is not to feel them.

[10:52]

We got it straight? So, this is a big question. So, how do you feel them? And how do you feel... Let's just stick with feelings, but it applies to a wider range of manifestations than just feelings. Use feeling as an example. One problem is how do you feel your feelings

[12:13]

I think I have to say that one of the examples of mindfulness is mindfulness of thoughts, mindfulness of feelings. But as I've tried to point out often, it really should be translated mindfulness of feelings as feelings. Not thoughts about feelings. Not feelings just through your personality. But feelings through the full range of what human beings feel. So you want to find a way to know your feelings through feelings and not through your thoughts or personality.

[13:27]

So we should probably say, instead of being mindful of your feelings, be thoughtful, be feelingful of your feelings. And who you are as a person has been mostly developed by your parents and your culture through thoughts. You are much wilder and unacculturated as a feeling person than you are as a thought person. So a lot of people get into various kinds of drinking, drugs, sexual perversions, etc., because they're the product of trying to have a thought person keep control of the feeling person.

[14:41]

So you want to give rein, r-e-i-g-n, room to the full range of gestures, we say in Buddhism, of feeling. and this is the more tantric side of Zen or Buddhism so you want to know the most frightening side of your feelings not just sometimes you have frightening feelings You want to actually encourage, visualize, bring up the most frightening dimension of your feelings.

[15:52]

And then the peaceful gesture or the peaceful dimension of your feelings. And the loving dimension of your feelings. And hateful and wrathful and so forth. And wrathful, angerful. So the usual way to do that is to learn to sit still. Because if you don't learn how to sit still, you can't release those feelings. Or you might have to lock yourself in your room while you're feeling these things. So you learn to sit still.

[17:02]

I say the basic instruction is don't scratch. Because you learn not to scratch here and scratch here. And if you can actually get so you don't scratch and if you hear a big noise out there You don't look up. And if some sound occurs, you just hear your hearing. Now, of course, if the building is burning down, I suggest you get up. But if somebody else is taking care of it, just sit. Let the firemen... No, really, that's the kind of feeling you want when you sit. The world just goes by or whatever.

[18:15]

When you can sit that way, feelings that are way beyond the realm that our personality and ego can contain can come up. And you all have in you the person who beats dogs. Or other human beings. And you all have in you the person who loves dogs. And if you don't know those various persons, you're very easy to manipulate by people who can play on them unconsciously. As Thich Nhat Hanh's poem about the 12 or 14 year old girl who's raped by sea pirates Thich Nhat Hanh went to great lengths to bring the attention of the boat people to the world.

[19:25]

Thich Nhat Hanh is a wonderful Buddhist teacher and a teacher of mine and a friend of mine. And He writes a poem about a girl, and he actually hired boats and did all kinds of things to help boat people and bring it to the world's attention. And he tells the story of these sea pirates who captured one of the boats of the boat people. And took all of everybody's possessions and rings or whatever they're trying to escape with so they can survive in the next place.

[20:43]

And then they raped this 14-year-old girl in front of everybody on the boat. And then pushed the boat off with no provisions. And this girl was so humiliated she threw herself into the ocean and drowned herself. And Thich Nhat Hanh's poem ends with that he has to remember and find that he's also the sea pirate as well as the girl. So this practice in a very fundamental sense is to open yourself up through the power of sitting still To all the immediate emotions of your personality and all the secret, hidden emotions and dimensions of your personality.

[21:52]

and really the emotions that human beings have and have had. And the sadness can be very deep. It's not unusual for somebody practicing intensely. To have an experience or a connectedness feeling with people which ends up with them literally walking around crying for several days. And as you were saying in the back what is your name again? No, the woman in the red. Gada. Gada. She was saying, as you practice, the person that...

[23:26]

the person that brought you to practice, and all the raspberry and so forth, raspberry sauce that was on top of it. Gerda doesn't agree with that. Tell me what she said. She said something different. Okay. Coming back to the raspberry sauce. Okay. Well, in any case, let me just finish what I was going to say. Maybe this isn't your experience. But when you practice, you often feel an immense sadness for the person you were.

[24:39]

And the many feelings and emotions you had that supported your personality and guided your life, fall away, like old songs that once changed your life. So there's a period of sadness for anybody practicing really, As an effect, you reparent yourself and rebirth yourself. Or reauthor yourself. And my experience is that many of the emotions... the flora and fauna of emotional and intellectual life that you had before.

[25:54]

Flora and fauna? Flora and fauna. Please say this again. much of the flora and fauna of your emotional and intellectual life. fall away. And they were quite interesting, actually. Kept you amused for a long time. And chasing goals that kept disappearing. But at least I find it's replaced by a sense of authenticity and tangibleness that's well worth the change.

[26:59]

Okay. We have time for one or two more questions if I answer shortly. Yes. Yes. How do we reconnect with the childlike qualities of our youth? What did you call me this morning, Beate? You made a big fight. That's in German. She means a big little boy in English, I think. I commented to her that my sandals were like big versions of little boy sandals. And she said, well, that's okay for you. I wouldn't myself try to reconnect with anything.

[28:04]

I'd try to... Good shot. I'd try to connect with whatever is in front of you. And I would use the... I would try to... Let me give you a sense of it. Sometimes you have a dream and you wake up and you can't remember the details or even if you can remember the details in addition to the details there's a feeling of the dream and sometimes you can recreate the details by first recreating the feeling and then the details appear but here I'm saying the details are not so important but the feeling may be more important

[29:37]

Or the feeling is also important. And you can take the feeling of a dream, particularly if it feels like an important dream somehow in a decisive time in your life, and keep the feeling of the dream through the successive days. And let the feeling and energy of the dream touch how you see and look at things. And so you can take the feeling of the way I, you were as a child, or any feeling you like, or any feeling that has a kind of luminosity or energy or presence to it,

[30:55]

Like the feeling maybe the first time you crossed a street by yourself. You can look back in your memory and of course this will particularly happen when you meditate. And certain events in your history will be in a kind of spotlight in the darkness of memory. And you can catch or taste the feeling of that and stay with it like a treasure or a resource. So in that sense you might reconnect or any one of you. I mean, the Buddhist way of doing it as a practice would not be to go back, but to take the feeling that we have right now that makes us want to go back and make that feeling a little flame in us.

[32:26]

And when you practice and the practice is happening your friends will probably say, will think you're changing or you may find you're you're distancing yourself from your friends because you're moving into a different kind of life. Or your friends will try to pull you away from practice because they don't like you to change. Or they may even start practicing with you to go along with you and do something with you and then to discredit it to pull you away. But in any case, various ways in which people notice that we're changing but your own experience will almost always be change

[33:39]

I'm just more what I've always been. You feel more and more inclusive, including the child you were. In fact, most of the people I know and like, it's hard to imagine them as adults. And most of the people I get bored with, it's hard to imagine them as children. Okay, the person that was sitting beside you, Garda? Oh, there he is. Michael, is that right? Yes. I have a question.

[35:01]

When I do satsang, I sometimes get a very strong energy out. and I have the feeling that it is going out of my head and I am afraid of it because it is also the feeling when my consciousness is losing or dissolving at the moment into a unity, a journey but it is like a leap, a leap for me and I am afraid of it and I asked Richard earlier You just need a sip of water. Rammelström. When I meditate, sometimes I experience this energy rising through my backbone and my impression is that it leaves me through the head and a kind of unity or uniqueness replaces it and comes in.

[36:13]

And I feel I'm on the edge of a jump and this scares me a lot and I wonder if it could be dangerous for me. Do you practice with a teacher? But do you practice with a teacher regularly? Or with a group? He practices regularly with the Zen group in Frankfurt and he used to do a session once a year with his Japanese teacher who doesn't come to Europe anymore since three years because he's sick.

[37:22]

And the Frankfurt group has a teacher? Sort of? Well, it's more a sort of group that practices together but is connected with various teachers. Well, there can be problems that arise from practicing too much on your own. It helps a lot to practice with a teacher and with some other people. But if you're practicing regularly, sitting once or twice a day, But not overdoing it. Not trying to sit on your own all day long or something.

[38:40]

I don't think there's any problem. But the main thing is to be aware within the energy and not identify with the energy. Identify with the field in which the energy occurs and not the energy. And you can create a column. I don't know if this is a little too technical for you guys, but you can create a column in which you feel yourself on this column of energy which comes out of the top of your head. But the best is to keep moving the energy through your body, up the back and down the front. And then throughout your body, awakening your body. And it will actually If it does awaken through your body, you'll find heat and patterns of heat and cold move throughout your body as it moves throughout your body.

[39:54]

It takes time for it to reach every part of your body. And if you can always absorb this energy throughout your body, there's no problem. So that feeling and visualization of the energy moving throughout your body is important. So that's, I think, the best I can say without seeing you regularly. Does this kind of discussion, which... useful to you, because you know these things happen and it may... But in general, in practice... Don't aim for anything.

[41:08]

Whatever is happening in your practice is the way you're practicing. Some people have the kind of experience he has. And some people have other kinds of experiences. And You just have to find your own practice and own awareness in practice. Yes? For me it's more like this, that when people talk to me and ask me something, and he answers something, then he sometimes answers questions that I didn't even know I had. Or questions for things that are not questions for me. He wants to comment, give you feedback for the seminar.

[42:28]

He experienced that when people ask questions and you answer them, that all of a sudden he realizes that this is a question he has had and just hadn't been aware of, or that you gave a statement of something that is worth knowing but wasn't a question yet. And beyond that, it also goes so that the things he says, it's like you suck it out like a sponge, or not, I don't know. Anyway, last year I was here too, and when I sit every day, or when I try Well, I was here last year too and my experience is when I do my everyday sitting or try to be content with my life and lead an okay life then the things you've said, they just pop up and are very helpful

[43:45]

Well, I must be doing it right for you at least. So I have to choose, and you help me choose, how to balance how much discussion we have, how much meditation we have, how much time I am directly speaking. how long the day is, etc. And all these things are very important, actually. Now, I'd like to end with, could you say something? Do you have anything to say? Some question? Could you have one this afternoon? Make an effort. Okay, something, just... We should go to lunch. Do you want me to answer before lunch? Okay, and Beate, do you want me to answer before lunch?

[44:51]

Okay, yes? When I'm sitting in my all-day life and not sitting very long, 20 minutes... Why don't you speak in German? When I sit daily, I usually don't have such feelings. There is nothing special about it. Is the practice much more... In my everyday life when I sit regularly, maybe 20 minutes a day or so, just nothing special happens most of the time. Does that mean I'm not practicing hard enough? You're not practicing hard enough if you ask questions like that. Just, when you practice you have to do just what you do and what happens is what happens, that's it.

[45:58]

That's not... All right. Okay, it's 12.40. Just in the posture you are in now without changing your posture. I'd like you to sit for a minute or so. Don't change your posture, unless it's impossibly uncomfortable. When I practice with you here in Heidelberg I wish that I had a place here in Heidelberg so I could see you regularly and continue with this practice together. Except I'm afraid that if I was here all the time, you wouldn't come very often.

[47:10]

You'd say, oh, I can see him anytime. And I'm quite busy this weekend. And when you're practicing, you really have to get in the habit of just doing it without picking and choosing. You just come every day or once a week or whatever it is. One of the famous teachings by the third patriarch begins, the great way is not difficult. Only avoid picking and choosing.

[48:28]

And that kind of feeling is carried out like in the tea ceremony, where you pay attention to each bowl, whether it's a nice bowl or an ordinary bowl, equally. You don't only pay attention to the interesting bowls. If you do, the bowls remain interesting. If you do only pay attention to the interesting bowls, the bowls remain interesting. Also wenn man das tut, dann bleiben die Gefäße interessant. But you become bored. So it's important to be able to give our attention to things. Es ist einfach wichtig zu lernen, etwas seiner volle Aufmerksamkeit zu widmen.

[49:34]

Now I spoke of, well, this weekend is entitled The Miracle of Awareness and Existence. And I spoke about miracle meaning something that makes you smile. And as your practice matures, More and more what you experience arises spontaneously. Maybe not 100%, but more and more each thing is partly just spontaneously arises. Rumi has a poem, Rumi the Sufi poet, has a poem which I've added some lines to or combined some stuff.

[50:40]

Sugufut, is that what I did? I probably did. And it goes... Don't think for a moment that I know what I'm doing. Or that even for a breath or even a half breath that I belong to myself. No more than a pen knows what it's going to write. Or a ball knows where it's going next. You say we have no future. And you're right. And it's alright with us. Sometimes we are here and sometimes we are not.

[52:07]

Sometimes we have this feeling and sometimes we don't. So there's some freedom in this kind of state of mind that Rumi is expressing. And this is a state of mind that I asked you to imagine at the beginning of this seminar. The state of mind in which miracles occur. Because everything is more spontaneous. Even the water coming out of the faucet in the morning makes you smile. Feel some gratitude or surprise. And I've often told you the poem of a friend of mine when he was looking in the mirror.

[53:12]

He wrote, I don't know who you are, but I'll shave you. Now this spontaneous state of mind, which is both spontaneous and whatever you think or feel you know is possible. der sowohl spontan ist, aber auf der anderen Seite ist alles möglich, was man gerade denkt und fühlt. Er entsteht also, wenn man anfängt, jetzt kein Leck mehr zu haben. Wenn man diese Stelle einmal kennt, wo man jetzt entweder ein Leck hat oder nicht, auf diese Art und Weise kann man Energie ansammeln.

[54:12]

Now the teaching of Buddhism is, if we had to make it most simple, would be awareness, causation, and change. Change, best understood as continuity and discontinuity. So the Buddha is one who is awake or aware. And he taught causation. And that everything changes, that everything is continuous and discontinuous. Life activity and death activity. Okay, so I said that this thought of existence is a seed or cause.

[55:30]

So this very thought of who is here, or what is here, is not just a question, but is a cause, is itself the seed of enlightenment. Now, yesterday and today and Friday night, I've tried to give you some vocabulary and some vocabulary in a wide sense for understanding this miracle of awareness and existence. And you've also contributed many gold and silver strands and a certain amount of confusion and concern. So now at one level your actions are seen to accumulate effects.

[57:36]

And we can talk about the accumulation of merit and the accumulation of karma or bad karma. And this is the level at which we live. So that you know very well from your own experience that if you do certain things, it leads to certain effects. And even small things. You do small things, like take a pencil from work is my example. And later you bite your cheek in a restaurant. Or something is a little off. So irgendwas ist so ein bisschen daneben.

[58:40]

This is also knowing when you leak and when you don't leak. Das ist so ähnlich wie wenn man weiß, ob man jetzt ein Leck hat oder nicht. So whether you're accumulating experiences that enhance you or hinder you, you can feel that point at whether you kind of leak or you feel a loss of nourishment. Also ganz gleich, ob man jetzt Erfahrungen ansammelt, die einem weiterhelfen oder die einem behindern, So it behooves you to pay attention to your distracted state of mind. Because you want to get to the point where you can see what the energies of this distracted state of mind are. And what triggered the distracted state of mind. So maybe you want to be able to move your awareness or consciousness into what we could call maybe the trigger storehouse.

[59:46]

Sometimes I say these things and I think, oh poor Ulrike. How is she going to say this one? Thank you. Well, you didn't know what I said. No, I don't. I'm just thanking you for sitting here beside me and creating the illusion, at least for me. And they seem to think the illusion is working. So, all right, the trigger storehouse.

[61:05]

You know, it really sounds like if you grew up in the 40s and 50s, Sounds like where Roy Rogers kept his horse, Trigger. Roy Rogers was one of the first popular cowboy stars. So, okay. So the practice of coming to know the, what I'm calling now, I just created this technical term, the trigger storehouse, is to be able to follow a thought or a motion to its arising. again this is very basic Buddhism so you want to be able to in this mind of calm abiding that I mentioned this morning

[62:26]

You want to be able to get to the point where you can, when a thought appears, you can sustain this mind of calm abiding and you can sustain the thought and you can follow it back to when it arose. And the more you can do this, the more you can be present at the moment it arises. And as I've been saying in the other seminars I've done so far this year, it's useful to practice with the four categories of thought. Which I like because it's so obvious and so important. Even a child knows what the four categories of thought are. And they'd laugh at you if you told them. The first category is not yet thinking. The second is just about to think.

[64:11]

And the third is thinking. And the fourth is having finished thinking. But can you be present in that? If you can be present in the just about to think, then you're unlikely to have bad states of mind anymore. Or headaches. Because you'll be there when they arise. And if you do have bad states of mind, you'll be very much a participant in that bad state of mind, seeing your own responsibility within it. And you can enjoy it as long as you feel comfortable.

[65:12]

Does anybody have a Kleenex we can catch it? Oh, I have one. Oh, here. You got it? Good. We have a very large... Another future Buddha saved. Okay. So this practice of seeing at the level of merit and bad karma involves you in the experience of how you accumulate experience.

[66:25]

And being present in the moment of accumulation. And the spontaneous arising of phenomena and feelings and emotions. It's almost like you were at the surface of an ocean. And you were here with fish and waves and boats and so forth. And something happens and a dolphin leaps out. And you feel the dolphin coming up to the water and leaping out. Or you feel the pen coming about to write.

[67:36]

You don't know what it's going to write, but you can feel yourself right at the point of where the nib touches the paper. Or you discover a ball that's been held under the water for years. And you take your hand away and it pops up. Anyway, you have that feeling and you're in the midst of your karma and your moods and the experiences you've accumulated and how they turn into thoughts and emotions. And that's one model of practice. And that's something that any practice is included, any practice includes, And in fact, most people are involved in whether they see it this way or not.

[68:55]

Most people don't without having meditation experience or yogic skills. can't be present in this what's called storehouse consciousness. And storehouse consciousness is in technical Buddhism the eighth consciousness. And self arises in the seventh consciousness. So self arises and is formed out of the accumulated experience of the eighth consciousness. So if you can get by using the experience of before thought, just about to think thought, and after thought,

[70:03]

Use that as a gateway into storehouse consciousness. You're in a consciousness, storehouse consciousness, which is pre-self. And you can feel the different selves of you, and there are more than one self of you arising. And you can allow them to be even more different than they were before you saw the differences. Okay. So in that sense, views are seen as forces. In other words, I'm calling any thought, attitude, conception, a view.

[71:15]

I think this way about such and such. And that view has a certain force. And I think this other way about such and such. I have a habit of criticizing things. I can't drive down a street without saying, well, that's a nice building and that's a bad building. And I see the effect of that on my day. And as I drive down the street, there's another view that I feel. Which keeps looking between the buildings and sees the space of sky. And when I see the space of sky, this view makes me feel differently than the view which is saying this building is good and this building is not good.

[72:41]

And then you have other views, how you feel driving. Or how you feel about the driver that's driving you. And how you feel about the other drivers. And how you feel about the $75,000 car that just went by you. So you have different views that are all swimming like fish in your aquarium. And you can feel their energy. No, rather, you can feel their force. So you can say to some, stop swimming. Get back behind the back seat.

[73:57]

And you see this one with some force keeps bumping into this one. And this one accumulates merit so that when you get to work or home, you're in a good mood. And this one accumulates demerit or bad karma. Because under the good mood when you get home you feel slightly sad. Okay, so this is practice, and this is at the level of, this image of practice is one of the early forms of Buddhism, where you're involved with your karma and the creation of karma, the access to karma, and so forth. And views are seen as forces.

[74:59]

I don't know how the word forces works in German, but I'm making some distinctions that sort of work in English. Okay. Now another model of practice. Now I'm giving you these models so that you can begin to have a feeling for your own life in these terms. Now you see, when you divide something, you create tremendous power. It's not just that we want to see things as oneness all the time.

[76:09]

Because when you divide something, you have two. And two can affect each other. And two can affect each other and create a third. That's why you're all here. The two affecting each other and you were born? What is she saying? Nothing? Well, anyway, so where you divide something is extremely important. It creates many possibilities. So if I say mind and body, I already have created some power and some weakness.

[77:12]

And if I say mind and thoughts and emotions and feelings and psyche, I've created something. And soul. And it creates a very powerful soup. And where you make these divisions is very important. So you can look at Freud, for example, and say, well, id, ego, superego, these are some historical idea that Freud got from somewhere or other. And they don't correspond to any real physiological or psychological facts. But if you make this division and use that division, it's very powerful. Now in Buddhist culture, divisions are made differently.

[78:44]

And when you see these are divisions, you can begin playing with your own divisions. So these things are, you know, supposedly in Celtic druid times, the druids had a secret semaphore language. That were like the way deaf people communicate with each other.

[79:47]

And like baseball catchers communicate with the pitcher. Supposedly, this language was secret, only known to the Druids for many, many, many centuries. And it allowed them to, as far as people know, none of us are Druids, allowed them to control the mass of the population. Because, for example, while I'm talking to you, if I was a druid, and three of you out there are druids and the rest aren't, And while I'm talking to you, I am changing my posture slightly, depending on what I'm saying.

[80:56]

And while I say one thing, I put my hand on my knees. And while I say something else, I put my hand here and have only two fingers present. And this was supposedly an elaborate language which you could communicate anything and have a subtext going on with the main text. And we call these people primitive. I think sometimes they had a more complex culture in many ways than our own. So how you make divisions or how you divide up language or communication give you tremendous power within yourself and within your society. So language is essentially divides. And then rejoins. Okay, so when you practice with yourself, you have to divide and rejoin.

[81:58]

Now one of the problems I find usually with all the teachings of channelers I've been exposed to and whether the channeling is coming from some disembodied being or the channeler is channeling the So far, they're all at one level. And they don't combine. This produces that and that produces that. They're not a multi-level teaching. And Buddhism is a multi-level teaching. A language where if we make a division here, then those parts create thirds and fourths and et cetera.

[83:25]

And much of the sutras and koans are actually a kind of druidic coded language. Not meant to control a population, as perhaps it wasn't for the Druids, but meant to convey something that you can't get through the other divisions of language. So I'm trying to introduce you to some of these divisions or codes. Like don't just think. Notice that you think.

[84:29]

Now we have two things. We have thinking and noticing that you're thinking. All consciousness and sentient life arises out of this thinking and conscious that you're thinking. All consciousness and sentient life Thinking and noticing that you're thinking. And the more that is developed with subtlety, you have the genetic event that we are. Okay. So when you say, okay, there's thinking and there's noticing that you're thinking. And then we have... Noticing that you're thinking is consciousness. And then there's awareness, which isn't noticing that you're thinking, but is... Words fail me.

[85:39]

So there you have three parts. Yes, Beate. It's also thinking, yes. But it's the thinking of a different power than just thinking. You never notice that you're thinking and just think. That's very different than also noticing that you think. When a tree puts a branch out here, And it runs into a wall named Ulrike. And this branch starts out this way. This branch says, geez, I've got more energy.

[86:41]

But it doesn't notice in the way we do that this other branch has hit the wall. It's just growing. This feels nice, actually. Okay. So then when you add distinctions like before thinking, not yet thinking, or just about to think rather, thinking and having finished thought, You've created a very powerful esoteric distinction, actually. Which can have tremendous religious and spiritual power. If you know what states of mind to accompany bring to this distinction. Do you understand?

[87:56]

Sort of? Only a little bit. Yes, you understand. You're just pretending. No, really, I think you understand. But you don't know how to know you understand. You don't know how to know you understand. Yeah, because this is kid stuff. But you're big kids. And so maybe you need to be little kids again.

[88:25]

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