This is the pure and simple color of true practice, true mind of faith, of the true body of faith. Would you please pass those texts back up here? And could the people in the back row move? Or actually, yeah. If you could, please. And thank you. I asked you to pass these back because it seems to me that many of you might have to put this except on the floor or, you know, I don't know where else.

[01:27]

And so on one side is this text, which is the... Most of these pieces of paper have something on both sides, but some have it only on one. Anyway, on one side is what we just recited, and it's a kind of an essay written by a Zen master named Eihei Dogen, who is the founder of the lineage of, for example, the San Francisco Zen Center. And this is his own personal essay for inspiring his own and other people's bodhisattva vow.

[02:32]

It's kind of a vow also, but it's also a vow to inspire the vow. Both. And on the other side is the Heart Sutra, the Heart of Perfect Wisdom Sutra. which is a sutra, a scripture which emphasizes the teachings of emptiness. So we'll probably be reciting that text sometime today. I'm separating the sheets that just have one side. I also brought some, I'll try to, with the help of Leon, we're going to try to make some copies of some calligraphy which says everything's empty.

[03:53]

So, yeah, we can't see it. I just came from Los Angeles, North Hollywood actually, where I was with my grandson and daughter. And my grandson yesterday asked me, I think he asked me if I wanted to watch Mr. Magoo. So Mr. Magoo is a cartoon character. Mr. Magoo is, what do you call it, probably legally blind by some standards. He can see, but he sees differently than most people. And he has a dog which I believe is called . And I didn't know, I didn't realize this until I saw this this time that Barker also has unusual seeing.

[05:12]

He sees very differently than some dogs do. And it's not Mr. Magoo is blind in general. He's blind, basically he's blind to common definitions of what's there and particularly he's blind to seeing anybody. For example he sees a pirate ship and he thinks it's a yacht. And then the pirates come ashore because they think maybe he's camped out on a beach. He sees a pirate ship and he thinks it's a yacht of some wealthy people. And the pirates come ashore because he's camped out on the beach and his dog's digging in the sand and maybe the dog will dig up some of their treasure which they buried there.

[06:18]

So they come and abduct, well, they come and they invite Mr. Magoo and his dog to come aboard the ship. And Mr. Magoo says, and the captain has, you know, an elaborate pirate outfit on, and Mr. Magoo is in his shit, and he says, He declines the invitation because he feels he's not dressed properly to go on board a yacht with wealthy people who are so formally and beautifully dressed. And the pirate captain says, I insist. And you get home well if you insist. Anyway, he goes on board and they put him in, their first idea was to put him in a dungeon which has various kinds of torture equipment in it. And he thinks it's a health club. He thinks the torture equipment is his equipment.

[07:21]

So the rack he thinks is a stretching device and so on. And the manacles he thinks are for the biceps and And anyway, he wonderfully just sees people's merit and virtue. And I don't think during the little thing I saw, I don't think he sees anybody's shortcomings. But a little bit he sees his own shortcomings. He doesn't have many, but he literally has, he sees, but mostly he sees and generosity in others. This is part of the path of the Buddha way is to be aware of our own shortcomings and through practice of that and other practices see it's not that we don't see anybody's shortcomings but we just you know

[08:26]

We just see them and let them go. But we see people's virtues and we're very happy to see that, of course. I don't know, of course. Some people actually see people's virtues and get angry because they feel competitive. This comment about not being able to see led me to tell you that. Alice, either at the end of the last retreat or shortly afterwards, asked me if I would discuss with you that something of emptiness or something like that, right? So that's the title of this weekend retreat, Vast Emptiness and Great Compassion. So I'm speaking of emptiness in the context of of not just the philosophical reality, not just the reality of emptiness, but also in the context of great compassion.

[09:31]

So in particular, this is the study of emptiness, the practice of emptiness, the teachings of emptiness in the context of the path. So that's what I thought I would bring forward with you this weekend a bit louder yeah and would you you could like sit right there or just to make sure that you know oh yeah if you I don't know if that's a good see is that a good see you right by the speaker both speakers So is everybody, is anybody not familiar with the term bodhisattva? Nobody's raising their hand?

[10:35]

Okay. Bodhisattva. Okay. Bodhisattva. Originally it was used to refer to the to the person who became Shakyamuni Buddha. When he was a baby he wasn't called Shakyamuni Buddha but he was a Bodhisattva. Bodhisattvas actually are baby Buddhas or the children of Buddha. They're beings who are evolving towards Buddhahood and they're beings who A being, a form of being which is devoted to enlightenment, which is devoted to enlightenment for the welfare of all beings in the whole world. All beings. Human beings, non-human beings, enlightened beings,

[11:41]

animate beings or living beings and non-living beings, all beings, for the welfare of all beings, devoted to that and devoted to enlightenment in order to live the life of devotion to all beings, to help all beings also join the path of being devoted to all beings. That's in Bodhisattva. And so I wrote that the vehicle of the bodhisattva is an understanding of emptiness. It's a deep understanding of emptiness. And emptiness, I'll just say briefly, emptiness is, as it says here, our lack of independent existence. And it's the object of perfect wisdom. Perfect wisdom is lack of independent existence of ourselves and all other beings.

[12:49]

Everything has this characteristic of having a lack or lacking inherent existence. which also goes with the fact that everything that exists arises and exists interdependently. My wife doesn't like the word. She likes, but she's okay with interdependence. Interdependence and emptiness are almost synonyms. our interdependence is part of the reason why we're empty of independence. But interdependence is not a lack. You know, interdependence is not a lack in a sense. It's not a lack, but it also is a lack because interdependence lacks independence.

[13:57]

So there is interdependence and emptiness or inner dependence and no-self. It is taught that before and entering the teachings and practices of ultimate truth, before receiving and entering the teachings of ultimate truth, the teachings of emptiness. Emptiness is the final truth about things. Before receiving these teachings, we need to be grounded and intimate with conventional reality. So the Buddha teaches two truths, one truth, four truths, But these are basically the ultimate truth and conventional truth.

[15:06]

So each of us is a conventional truth. Or each of us is a conventional existence. So those are two truths. And it is recommended that before we open to the ultimate truth, that we be grounded and intimate with conventional truth, with our conventional existence. So we need to be grounded in our conventional existence. However, just being grounded in conventional existence without realizing the ultimate truth is not liberating.

[16:10]

So the teaching of ultimate truth is liberating but it's properly without being grounded in the conventional truth which is not liberating. but it's required. We have to take care of conventional truth in order to realize the liberating ultimate truth. So, to sum up, it would be easy this weekend, especially if we had a three-month retreat, it would be easy this weekend to not look at the teachings of emptiness and just spend the whole weekend becoming grounded and intimate with conventional beliefs. Does that make sense? Because it takes a while to really get intimate with it. with them.

[17:15]

But actually this weekend probably we will get a little bit into the teachings of emptiness but with considerable warning that in some sense we shouldn't be. until we're really intimate with conventional truth. So these teachings about emptiness, remember that we have to be careful when we hear them and check to see if we're really grounded and intimate with our conventional existence. And we'll talk more about that. So again I wrote in the blurb, Bodhisattva being dedicated to enlightenment for the welfare of all beings needs to understand both conventional and ultimate truths in order to fully accomplish the Bodhisattva vows of great compassion.

[18:35]

Another way to say that would be again that we need to be intimate with conventional reality and we need to know the ultimate truth of emptiness in order to practice totally unimpeded great compassion. We can be somewhat compassionate even without being grounded in conventional existence. even without being intimate with people and ourselves, we can practice compassion. We can want to benefit people. We can want to help people become free of their misery. We can want that, and that's compassion. We can feel it in ourselves and want ourselves and others to be free of it. That's compassion. And we can have this feeling and also wish to work and devote our lives to helping people be free of suffering.

[19:51]

And that's compassion. But without getting intimate yet with ourselves and others, we still can practice compassion. To become more intimate with ourselves and others, the compassion becomes more full and wholehearted. and when we understand the ultimate truth, then all obstruction to the practice of compassion is dropped away. I wrote in the blurb, without receiving and entering the teachings of emptiness, liberation is not realized. I agree with that. But another way to say it is without receiving and entering these teachings without realizing the teachings of emptiness without realizing emptiness is not fully practiced and realized.

[21:02]

So ultimate truth is liberating which is great I think And we'll talk more about that again. But the point of the Buddha way is not... In practicing, the point of the Buddha way is not liberation. It is the practice of great compassion. Compassion is the main point of the Buddha way. It's the origin of the Buddha way, because the Buddha way is born from Buddhas. But Buddhas are born from compassion. And Buddhas and the Buddha way are born from compassion, which is unimpeded.

[22:06]

And it's unimpeded because there's compassion which is joined with understanding of the ultimate truth. It's compassion for all conventional things. For example, for pieces of paper, compassion for pieces of paper which don't suffer. Sorry. but it's great compassion is the point and it's joined with wisdom, with the wisdom. I wrote on the paper here. Thank you for putting the paper up, Alice. Up at the top it says BS. That's my symbol for Bodhisattva. And a B circled by a... inside of a circle is my symbol for Buddha.

[23:14]

For future reference, in case I write some other... So I wrote up there, bodhisattvas live by vows or bodhisattvas are support by vows and are supported by vows. Bodhisattvas are supported by vows. and live and support by vows. They support others by vows and they are supported by vows. You could say they actually they live and are lived like vows are their kind of like their their nourishment and their support and it's also the way they nourish and support vows. And bodhisattvas meditate on emptiness.

[24:22]

That's the Chinese character for emptiness. Bodhisattvas meditate or practice emptiness. So their life, they live the vows, they're supported by the vows, and they meditate on emptiness. They live by the vow to benefit all beings. They're living those vows. They think about, they sort of do meditate on the vows too. They think about and remember the vows to benefit all beings. And they also remember to meditate on the ultimate truth that there's no beings to find. They're totally devoted to beings and also realize that there aren't any independent beings. And understanding the emptiness of beings unleashes their compassion for beings.

[25:23]

Before we understand emptiness, our compassion is somewhat obstructed. Because before we understand emptiness, we are somewhat blind to the truth. And our blindness has consequences which interfere with the practice of compassion. In Buddhist circles there's often some confusion between two different types of meditation. One type of meditation is called tranquility meditation or calming meditation. Another kind is called insight meditation. And the There are two different ways of working with our experience.

[26:30]

One way is that as we experience, to let go of our experience, especially to let go of our thinking, to let go of discursive thought consistently. continuously for some time to attend to letting go of thinking. A type of meditation which is called tranquility training and it comes to fruit as calm. And then another type of meditation is to look at and be aware of your thinking and you can let go of it just as in tranquility meditation, but not only do you let go of it, but you also kind of take care of it at the same time.

[27:37]

Yeah, so in terms of like taking care of children or grandchildren or people you love and things you love. One is like, just let go of them. The other is care for them and use letting go to help you take care of them. And if you care for beings and let go of them, and become intimate with them, you will realize they are all empty of any independent existence. And when you see that, you will, for example, no longer grasp them. Matter of fact, you will see that they cannot be grasped. And then your compassion... it's not like they're gone, but then your compassion for them is unimpeded

[28:45]

by thinking that the person you're trying to help or the being you're trying to help is something you can grasp. When we work with beings, and beings are like my own thinking is a being. Every moment I've got my own thinking, that's a being. I'm a being and I am a thinking being. Although I don't do my thinking, I am a thinking being. It's not like there's me who's doing my thinking. I am a thinking being. And part of the practice is to let go of my thinking.

[29:51]

Another part of the practice is to care for my thinking. So if you're taking care of your thinking or your own being or a child, to practice tranquility may require that somebody else is caring for the child while you're trying to let go of the child. So if you're practicing tranquility with the children, you may need a nap. Because you're not actually really fully caring for the children when you're just basically letting go of them. However, if you can have somebody assist you so that you can actually be with somebody and let go of them, you will become calm with them. Once you're calm, you can switch from letting go of them or letting go of the being. You can switch from that to caring for the being from this calm place.

[30:53]

So part of the difficulty of presenting teachings to people is that teachings are not just to be received and let go of. However, But if you're not calm and you receive teachings, you may feel not calm. And you may even get frustrated if you're not calm and then you try to receive teachings from a not calm place. So there's a little bit of a dynamic when teaching these teachings that some people are not calm enough And when they hear the teachings, they say, and I find myself getting upset and withdrawing from the teachings. And at that time, I often would say, well, maybe you need to practice tranquility. And so maybe actually while these teachings are coming, maybe you need to

[31:59]

between the teaching sessions or even while the teaching is going on, just let go of your thinking that's going on while these teachings are happening to you. And then I ask people, you know, when you become more calm, do you feel the teachings? And they say, well, yeah. Also, if I talk about opening to beings, which is part of which part of becoming intimate with conventional truth is to open to conventional truth. Part of becoming intimate with beings is to open to them. But when people start opening to beings, especially vastly open, like bodhisattvas do, they often feel like, this is too much for me. And they feel themselves contracting or withdrawing. And I say, well, something in you which is saying, I think I need to practice tranquility, I need to calm down.

[33:07]

The presentation or even the onslaught of beings is too much for my tranquility so I want to withdraw and that's okay. Whenever you need to, it's fine. You can't always do that but I would support you to withdraw from the intense relationship you have with everything if you don't feel calm. And when you feel calm, then you will often feel, in the calmness you start to open again. Sometimes bomb shelters are good places to go. But then when the bombing is over, after a while they get kind of stinky. And you you know, stuffy. So maybe you want to come out of the bomb shelter, out into the big world. But the big world, even when there's not bombs, has things like flowers which have pollen.

[34:11]

Maybe you'll find that irritating. So maybe you want to go back in the bomb shelter again. So part of practice is to go back in giving up thinking. calming down, opening up, and then caring for the things which you basically gave up, let go of. So that's part of what goes on this weekend and I will alternate, hopefully, sessions with sitting sessions so you can calm down or have a chance to be calm and receive these teachings in a calm state to some extent. And if you can't, you're welcome to practice tranquility as much as you need to. But also please understand that in the future for the rest of your life this alternation may be useful.

[35:12]

But because I was teaching the teachings of emptiness rather than teachings on tranquility, I was thinking of going ahead with that. And teachings of tranquility are not, at the beginning, necessarily something that's going to make you calmer. And when you understand the teachings of emptiness, you will be totally calm Because the main thing that agitates us is not understanding emptiness. The main thing that agitates us is when we think that things are independent. Things external to us which exist separate from us is the main thing that's upsetting us. So finally when you understand emptiness, that will be a tranquility practice also because you only have to let go of things. From the start you realize you're always letting go of them.

[36:21]

Already, in fact, in reality, we're all letting go of everything all the time. And everything's letting go of us. That's the way we actually are. But because we think some other way, there's the consequence that we don't see. Letting go all the time. Just like I would say to you that you're all generous. So you're all generous, plus everybody's generous with you. But unlike Mr. Magoo, we can't see that. We can't see it all the time anyway. We can't see that everybody's always generous and we're always generous with everybody. Most of us can't see that all the time. Mr. Magoo can see it all the time. Actually, I think he can see other people are generous with him, but seeing that he's generous all the time, I think, because he has, you know, aware of his shortcomings.

[37:24]

So our shortcomings are really shortcomings of understanding. We really are generous but we have shortcomings in our understanding. So actually we have to practice generosity and we have to practice letting go. We have to practice listening to the teachings which will help us realize letting go so that we can realize the letting go that's actually our life. that we have to practice letting go, to realize letting go. We have to practice listening to teachings which tell us we're not independent of each other in order to realize that we're not independent of each other because we think we are independent and we think we are independent of each other because in the past we have thought we're independent of each other.

[38:28]

Remember when you used to think you were independent of people a long time ago? Even when you were a little kid you thought you were independent of things and you were afraid of them. Do you remember that? This has been going on a long time. And the consequences of thinking we're independent are that we now also think we're independent. And that's not the only consequence of thinking we're independent. Living is a consequence of thinking we're independent. our contribution to the world comes from our understanding. If we have one kind of understanding, we make one kind of contribution. If we have another kind of understanding, we make another kind of contribution. So bodhisattvas and buddhas make one kind of contribution based on understanding emptiness and living by vows. Some of us would like to learn how to make those kind of contributions.

[39:35]

Other people who do not practice these vows and to not understand, make other kinds of contributions. No matter what, we're always making contributions to the world. Now I'd like to now go into some detail about, in some sense, the basic practice, perhaps, which is the practice, once you're calm, if you're ever calm, and of course you can be on various levels of calm, but if you're calm enough to want to do this, it's the practice of caring graciously and thoroughly for all that practice.

[40:41]

And in particular, we often recommend starting with yourself. Because if you don't take care of yourself, if you skip over yourself, that'll make it hard to It's like, you know, you go to help somebody but you don't notice your ankles are manacled to each other and you fall on your face, plus spill hot water on them. When you're actually intending to pour them some hot water to drink, you don't pay attention to yourself, you didn't accomplish your goal and actually caused harm. Or somebody who wants to give somebody a ride to the hospital but doesn't notice that they're drunk. So then they get in a car and have an accident and don't accomplish their harm. This can happen because they're not paying attention.

[41:43]

But even if you're inebriated and you know it, which is hard when you're inebriated, but you can know it, even when drunk you can say, you can realize, oh, I shouldn't be driving and find somebody else to drive the person. Our main problem our main problem dash our main opportunity for caregiving is our thinking, which is our basic, it's the basic activity of our being. And not just humans think, other animals think too. And plants think. I don't know if mountains think. I don't think they do. So I'm devoted to mountains, and I know some of you are also.

[42:47]

And I'm devoted to the ocean, but I don't think the ocean thinks. But I think. However, I do not think. And if you think otherwise, you're welcome to express yourself. But I do not think that most living beings are giving gracious, thorough, intimate care to their thinking. They tell me they don't, and they look like they don't. And sometimes they can't even tell me they don't because they haven't looked to see if they do. But some people do pay attention to their thinking, do take care of it wholeheartedly. And that's just such a wonderful thing when somebody takes care of their thinking.

[43:57]

Thinking means takes care of their thinking. Because the basic definition of karma is thinking. It's an action. It's basically action of your mind. Every moment, your mind is active. You have a consciousness. You're aware of, for example, the sound of the ocean. You're aware. You know that. And coming with that awareness is mental activity. thinking or storytelling. Every moment you have a mental activity which tells a story of your relationship with the world. Every moment. Except in some very special states, but basically don't worry about those. Just take care of the regular ones where you have a story about your relationship with the world. I propose to you, you do have a relationship and so do I. I propose you are related to everybody including me and everything including me.

[45:12]

I propose that to you and I also say that relationship is not your mental activity. My relationship with you is not my mental activity. That's part of reality. My mental activity is I have a story about my relationship with you. In every moment I have a story of my relationship with you. I'm good friends with these people. I'm medium good friends with these people. I'm excellent friends with these people. You know, I have these different stories about my relationship with people. That's the activity of this mind which I get to live with, which I have to live with as long as I'm alive. In order for there to be great compassion living in this world, there needs to be wholehearted attention to our stories, to our thinking.

[46:18]

And to be wholehearted you've got to be fairly calm. Now I'm not telling you, I gave you the definition of emptiness. Another definition which I like of it is lack of existence, which is, the acronym is LIE. Emptiness is LIE. Emptiness is lack of inherent existence. That's the definition of emptiness. Now what I'm proposing to me is that if you are intimate with your stories that are going on in your mind moment by moment, in that intimacy, in that graciousness, your story will reveal the ultimate truth.

[47:23]

The emptiness of your story will be revealed. The light, the radiance of your story will shine upon this world, your consciousness. The teachings of emptiness are to help you by allowing them to come into your thinking, to help you be able to reveal your thinking so that the emptiness of your thinking will be revealed. One of the Bodhisattva teaching scriptures is called the Lotus Sutra.

[48:36]

And I wasn't intending to do this, but here's the Lotus Sutra, so here's the Lotus. So the Lotus Sutra is a scripture to teach us how to put our roots down into the mud of all beings. It's instruction about how to let our compassion enter the mud of all beings so that the flower of wisdom will bloom. It So it gives instruction about how to put your roots down and find the nurturing quality of your experience, nurturing wisdom quality of your experience. So there's a part, actually,

[49:44]

On the back of this robe is written the part I'm going to tell you about. So on the back of this robe is written an instruction from the Lotus Sutra. This is an instruction to bodhisattvas about how to take care of themselves, of others, but also how to take care of your thinking, your stories. Whatever the stories are, stories, good stories, skillful stories, stories of skillfulness, and stories of unskillfulness, stories of harm and cruelty. So whatever stories are appearing in your mind, this instruction is given so that you can put your roots down and a lotus flower will grow out of your story even if your story is a story of the most petty, egotistical person, being somebody else or yourself.

[50:56]

Even if you have a story that I am centric and so on, this is how to put root down into that story so that a great flower of wisdom will bloom in it. So the instruction is, literally the instruction is, practice all virtues and practice all virtues, and then it says, be tender, peaceful, honest, and upright. And practice all virtues to go into the mud of every experience and be with it. in a virtuous way. And what's a virtuous way to be with it? Gentle, harmonious, honest, and upright.

[51:59]

Practice all virtues means open up to all virtues. All. Open up to all. All virtues means every being, every experience, as an opportunity to practice virtue. And then once you're open, or even before you're open, anyway, one by one, beings come to you. They come to you as your own pain, your own confusion, your own story. One by one, stories come to you. And in those stories, there's various beings. Various people come to you, various animals come to you. They come to you one by one. And you try to meet one, all of them and each one. And then try to meet them tenderly, gently, flexibly,

[53:13]

not stiffly, with relaxation. And next, peacefully and harmoniously. Next, honestly. And finally, uprightly. Not leaning away from the being. If it's a nice story, not leaning into it, not leaning away from it. If it's a horrible story, not leaning into it, not leaning away from it, not leaning to the right of it or the left of it, not trying to avoid it, not getting over it, being upright with it, being balanced with it. This way of being with beings, inwardly and outwardly, tenderly, Hatred? Cruelty? Be tender with it? Be tender with cruelty.

[54:29]

Be tender with hatred. Be tender with lust. Be tender with greed. Be tender with confusion. Be tender with unselfishness. Be tender with beauty. Be tender with loveliness. Be tender with everything. And be peaceful with everything. and be honest. Does this look like cruelty? Mm-hmm. Does this look like unhappiness? Yes. Does this look like pain? Mm-hmm. Does this look like pleasure? Yes. Does this look like joy? Yes. Does this look like lying? Yes. Be honest. It doesn't mean you see reality. Just be honest about what you see. Is this your story? No. Is this your story? Yes. Is your story like this? Yeah. Do you hate me? Yes. But not leaning into my story that I hate you and not leaning away and being tender about it.

[55:38]

These are the ways of being grounded in conventional reality, being intimate with it, being gracious with it, as in, gracias, gracias, gracias for cruelty, not for cruelty, just cruelty, gracias. It's not that you're grateful that you want cruelty, it's just that you're grateful for the opportunity of practicing compassion with even that. So, the mantra says that, teaches this, and then it says, when you're this way with things, you will see the Buddha teaching you right now. You will see the Buddha teaching you right now when you're that way with things. Not the first moment, maybe, but

[56:39]

and your being settles into the mud, gradually this flower grows in you where you will see the Buddha teaching you right now and teaching you, for example, emptiness. Emptiness of your own evil. Emptiness of your own good. Don't attach to your own evil and therefore it will wilt and you won't attach to your own good so there it will bloom because you understand it because you're hearing the teaching now directly from the Buddhas right now if you're that way with whatever The Lotus Sutra teaches bodhisattvas this way of becoming grounded in the conventional so that we naturally open to and are ready for the ultimate. This practice, this way of being part of compassion, but even before our compassion is totally wholehearted and unhindered,

[57:47]

We're still practicing compassion in this way. And this way of practicing compassion with each thing opens us to which will make our compassion total and unhindered. So that is I proposed to you a lot. I just said a lot to you. Big deal. And one more thing which I'll just briefly mention. I think it'll be brief. and I'll be happy to go in more detail later, but not only do I recommend to myself and to others, I think I recommend it, that you practice this way with every moment of experience in order to receive

[58:53]

the revelation of wisdom, of reality and your compassion. But I also recommend that you remember that the bodhisattvas who practice this way, their practice is supported by, is lived by vows. And their vows, to make a long story short, are about their relationship So when they practice, for example, being gentle with someone, they don't think that they're practicing being gentle with this person by themselves. So I'm recommending to myself and to other bodhisattvas that when you're being gentle with someone, you also remember to think that you're being gentle with them together with your vows to practice together with everybody.

[59:57]

So you're being gentle with one person, upright with one person, you're being honest with one person, and that one person might be yourself or one other person, but you don't think you're doing that by yourself. Or rather, if you do think you're doing it by yourself, you confess that you're thinking that way, get over it, and go back to the vow. The vow is not, there's no bodhisattva vow. Think that you're practicing by yourself. That's not a vow of bodhisattvas. That's a vow of unhappy people. Always remember that you're practicing by yourself, not together with anybody else, and you don't need anybody. Remember that. Now bodhisattvas always, they vow, they promise, although they forget sometimes, they vow to remember that they're practicing together with all Buddhas, all bodhisattvas, and all beings.

[60:58]

So the practice they're doing, they vow to remember, to think about doing it together with everybody. So you're helping one person, you're caring for one person, yourself or somebody else, and you remember that you're also caring for everyone and everyone's caring for you at the same time. This is a context of the vows supports this kind of difficult practice of being gentle with everybody and being upright. So if I try to be gentle with you and upright with you and honest with you and peaceful with you, that's, I think, a wonderful practice, but it's even more successful when I also remember to think that I'm doing this practice with you, with everyone, with everyone's support and to support everyone. Okay. So that's my introductory... That's my introductory... And in the spirit of doing things together, which we have been doing, in my opinion, we've been doing this together just now, I've been talking to you quite cheerfully, and you've been, you know, trying to solve some cases and not being very successful.

[62:22]

and you know you've been doing this with me in your various ways and like I said I'm pretty cheerful about that and some of you may not be but anyway we're doing this together and being in the room together is a ritual of doing it together you know we come in the room to sort of say okay we're doing this together we're in the same room but also when you ask questions in order to to practice and express that we're doing together, I'd like you to come closer to me. Rather than sit in the back, make a comment, I'd like you to come up and sit here close to me. If you want to offer something to me or to the group, I'd like you to come up here. Which makes, you know, it's more effortful and I would like it to be which may mean nobody will come, but we'll see.

[63:25]

Also, it records to be near the recording device, and it also gets you close to the amplification. If you want to give me any feedback or express anything to me or the group, you're welcome to come at any time, but Right now, I'm expressing that invitation. You sit on this? Does that work for you? Where do you want me to look? Where would you like? Would you like to look towards me or towards the group or towards both of us? It doesn't matter. Why don't you sit right in front of me then and talk to me? Okay. Because they may not want to talk to you. Okay. Hi. Good morning. Good morning. I'm doing everything you're saying. By the way, did you tell your husband that you kissed me?

[64:29]

You support her to kiss me on the cheek? Yes. Okay, great. I'm doing everything you're saying about watching my own mind all the time. and monitoring my feelings that go with my thinking. They go with you? Actually, they're part of your thinking. Your thinking includes your thinking. Thinking includes your... Yeah, they're not separate, no. So I would tell you that your story has a feeling. Like you have a story of being good friends with somebody, it has a feeling. Not always positive. So yes, the definition of our thinking is the overall activity of your mind at a given moment, which includes your feelings, various emotions, opinions. It's basically the overall activity.

[65:38]

Watching my overall activity. And I do it as a practice all day. Great. And I notice that when something comes up that really rocks my... You mean when there's a story of being rocked? Yes. When I have a story that it's hard to stay balanced with, Yes, like, for example, a war in Iraq. That story? Yes. Yeah. In my own self. Or a war in my own mind, yeah. Because of my reaction to somebody or some situation. Right. Yeah, okay, so you have... Out there. You have a story of your relationship with someone, which includes your reaction to them. I have a story about my story and my reaction to my story.

[66:44]

Yes, you can have stories about your stories, right? Right. And so I'm battling... And you have a story of battling? Myself. Because at the same time I'm confessing to myself that I don't have compassion for myself You have a story that you don't have compassion for yourself? Yes. Because for whatever reasons, after all these years, I You're just telling me stories now. Right. Maybe I should stop telling this. No, it's okay. You can't stop telling stories. That's unrealistic. Okay. So you're telling stories. You've told several here just now. Yes. And so that's just part of it. Those are beings. She's reporting beings to us.

[67:44]

We're not trying to stop beings. We're trying to care for them. So how to care for all these beings which are your stories, which are inseparable from you. So now we're trying to be gentle with your stories. Was I gentle with your stories? Oh, yes. Yeah, I'm trying to be gentle with your stories. It wasn't that difficult. Sometimes it is. But that's because it's not your story. but it's my story about your story. So sometimes my story about your story might be difficult. Okay, so I guess what I'm saying is I'm having a hard time with my story about my story. Yeah. And you're having a hard time... And being gentle. You're having a hard time being gentle. Yes. Okay, so then, as we recited here earlier, if you're trying to do the... You think, this might be a good practice for me. This guy's saying this is like really main core bodhisattva practice, being gentle with my stories.

[68:49]

I think I'd like to give it a try. Okay? And then you try it, but you notice you can't do it very well. So then there's the practice of that you're not being gentle with your story. And repenting means that you notice probably some sorrow when you're not gentle with your story. And that sorrow, if you care for, again, that sorrow will motivate you to change in the direction you'd like to go, namely towards tenderness, towards eventually all your stories. So now you've told us stories, plus you've told us you're having difficulty being gentle with your stories. The practice of telling us, that you're having trouble being gentle is the confession of a lack in the practice of gentleness. And also that's recommended to be done not alone but do it with all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas and in particular try to find someone in your life that you can do that with like you're doing right now.

[70:04]

Somebody who will listen to you and encourage you to continue this practice of expressing when you're not gentle with your stories, with the beings that are living in you. There's one more part, yeah. There's a gap, a little space in there between the time... Can you hear her? There's a gap and a space... Can you hear her now? Between, I mean, we're talking seconds here. Yeah. Where I realized, whoa, one of those things are up, you know, up. One of those stories. One of those stories. Big. My thinking, a big thinking here. Yes. And... So I have another story that says, well, I need to handle this immediately. If I were a real bodhisattva, I'd handle this immediately.

[71:08]

But it takes me some time, and I'm processing it, and I'm also, sometimes I'm doing well, and sometimes I'm not doing well, and sometimes I'm doing really badly, and other times... That's nuts. That's enough. What you told me is enough. I got the picture. So I agree with you that it would be good. You say have to, but have to dash good, good dash have to. It is good to handle it immediately. That is good. So as soon as this big story comes up, it would be good to handle it immediately. And handle it immediately means immediately be tender. Right away, be tender. Don't be tender ten minutes later, although that's not bad. Try to be tender right now with what you're feeling right now. And now. Try to be tender right now with every experience. And if you notice, if you have a story that you weren't tender... then be tender with that story and then say, okay, now would you like to confess this?

[72:11]

And maybe yes. And then be tender with the confession. But immediately is, yes, immediately be gracious with your story. Try to be gracious every moment with every story. So you're aware, that's good. You have to be aware of the story in order to be gracious with it. So you've got the awareness and you're even tender with your stories. Okay? That's good. That's the mud. Now let's be tender with this mud of story, story, story and not so gentle with story. That's part of the story. Now let's try to be gentle with all those stories. And if you can't, then say, well, that wasn't so gentle. And I actually still want to be gentle, so I'll try again. Okay, and through the repetition and the recognition... Through the recognition and the repetition of the practice... When will the... I'm asking for a timetable here, this is crazy.

[73:23]

Go ahead. It's a story, you're telling me a story. Right, okay, so... I'll try to be gentler. Through the repetition and the awareness, natural, more and more natural tenderness... may arise? Tenderness tends to be a condition for more tenderness. Yes. And cruelty does tend to be a condition for more cruelty. But even when there is cruelty, curved cruelty has one kind of consequence, kindness has another. But regardless, you can be tender with both. And I thought you were going to say, and when will I see the truth? You didn't say that, though. But the truth will come when you get really good at being this way with your experience. In the wholeheartedness of caring for your being and other beings' being, in the wholeheartedness, the wisdom will shine. But it's hard to be aware in the first place.

[74:28]

Most people aren't. And then to be gentle with it is quite a feat. To be peaceful with it and harmonious with it is quite a feat. It's a lot. And then to be balanced. So to really be this way with things is wholeheartedness with your experience. But it takes a lot to do all that at once completely without thinking you're doing it by yourself. which makes it partial. So to do it wholeheartedly is a huge practice which is being highly recommended by various sources. So when you told the story about Mr. Magoo.

[75:35]

Can you hear her? Huh? I think you have to speak up. You told the story about Mr. Magoo. Yes. I was really touched that the idea about seeing just goodness in people When I heard it, I just realized just how I do get so agitated and feeling so alone. And it's hard for me at times to just see the interconnectedness with other beings. It is to me that I can't see this goodness. and people and that there's these judgments and opinions that come up and that I'm not free and that I feel so separate and it just makes me sad and I just wanted to confess that to you.

[76:45]

Thank you. And so that's a story, that's a being you have just now shared with me, reported to me. And so tender with this not seeing the virtues of others, and be tender with the story of being separate, be tender with the story of being alone. It's just a story, it's not a reality, but it is a story. And when it happens, unless it's, you know, as a joke, When something happens, we need to be upright with it. In other words, not lean into it and think it's true. But if we do lean into the story that we're separate, and think it's true, rather than just, oh, I hear that story, and I've heard that's a delusion story, but I know that's a story. I hear it, I hear it, I feel, I think I'm separate, I hear it.

[77:46]

but I'm not leaning into believing it or I'm not saying it's not true either not leaning away from it or into it or I am leaning into it and that really makes it bad but I admit I'm leaning into it so I confess I'm leaning into it and that that really is sad and sorrowful and that encourages me to sit up straight Still the story of being separate is flowing through me or around me. People are talking like that and acting like that. I see them acting like that, myself acting like that. It's painful and I would like to give that up and be upright. And now I'm not upright again, but I see it again and I feel pain again. And little by little this will make us upright. Moment by moment, it may take a lot of those feeling the pain of leaning into the story.

[78:49]

It takes a lot of them to get us to be upright. When we're upright, it's kind of like, oh, well, there's still these stories, but this is a lot better way to be with them. I'm not tightening around the story anymore. I'm relaxed with it. Still, I've got these bad stories, but At least I'm being tender with them and being peaceful with them. But this is, it's immediately, moment by moment, right? If we take two weeks off, that's a lot of time off. Most people can't survive that without getting back into, really leaning into the story. It does feel a little more spacious. Yeah, I don't know. I guess it's like, I feel like as I move through the world, it seems like it's just so easy to fool myself.

[79:52]

Like, I think I'm okay, you know, and I'm, like, I've got it together. Yeah, the story, the K story. So I'm okay story is perfectly, it's not a bad story actually. I don't mind that. It's not hurting anybody. But it's not really true. It's not true. It's just a story. Yeah. That's why you, when you say I'm okay, you shouldn't lean into it. If you lean into a lot of I'm okay, then you're going to probably get a I'm really not okay. And also because you're leaning into I'm okay, when not okay comes, you're going to lean into that too, probably. Because you're not only... Good stories that you're not upright with will deteriorate. Good stories that you're not upright with will deteriorate. Not deteriorate, but will lead, will be conducive to worse and worse stories. That's the general way it goes.

[80:53]

Bad stories that you are upright with tend to evolve towards Bad stories that you don't, that you're not upright with, will get, of course, worse. So your stories will evolve like the okay, okay. If you're upright with them, they'll get better and better. But if you're not upright with okay, it'll tend to deteriorate. You'll be developing the habit of not being upright. So when the bad story comes, you're going to be not upright with that too, which is really bad to be not upright with a bad story. And it seems like the story of I'm okay, I can see that it's a way of protecting myself. It could be. To get up and get through the day. Yeah, it could be, and that's pretty good. But then I start kind of believing that, and it makes me feel separate from people. Exactly, yeah. So it's okay to, if a story serves a beneficial purpose, that's called a good story.

[82:06]

If it helps you, it's a good story. It's a wholesome story if it benefits you at all. But leaning into it, you know, will the stories that come and get worse, but also you will be more and more afraid and feel separate in the stories, even the good ones, if you start leaning into them. If you're upright with your stories you get ready to be edified as to your non-separation. If you get ready for realizing emptiness. And emptiness is also, another meaning of emptiness is that there is no actual substantial separation between yourself and other beings. So one way to say it is there's no separate Lisa. Another way to put it is there's no separation between Lisa and Rev. that lack of separation is the same as a lack of independence. So if you're upright with your stories of okay and not okay, you'll get ready for the revelation of the truth of not separate.

[83:17]

But if you don't take care of whatever kind, then you tend to withdraw from readiness for the truth. And it's a moment-by-moment thing. So if we take quite a bit of time off from this tenderness and uprightness, you know, kind of behind the game of being ready for the truth. And then there's painful consequences of that. Any other feedback you care to offer anybody? By the way, I see someone getting up to go away to the bathroom or whatever.

[84:19]

And I'd be free to, you know, leave the room if you need to. Don't feel trapped if the discussion's going on. Nothing else at this time you care to offer? Oh, yes. Yes. Is your name Bruce? I'm Bruce. Oh, what a coincidence. What a coincidence. Hi, it's so good to see you again. Good to see you, Bruce. Thanks for keeping your name the same. Consistency is a virtue. I just want to express a few things that I'm so grateful. I want to express how grateful I am that last year in December I, as it may be, accidentally became involved in the And since then it's been such a life-altering experience.

[85:24]

I want to just to express some gratitude for how grateful I am to be exposed to this kind of realization and to practice with others. Wonderful. On that note, in my own way of thinking and talking, I have been practicing non-resistance. Just stop resisting everybody and everything. Maybe that's like entering the mud. And it's also like being tender and upright and harmonious. That part of it then gave me the opportunity to choose not to be resistant, to be in the light of Buddha's wisdom as I was thinking of it, to be in the spirit of the Bodhisattva. And it's very helpful to have that kind of definitiveness that you shared today about being gentle or being honest or being upright. I was only practicing being open to the experience.

[86:24]

But somehow I experience in that something takes place in me that seems to be different than just me, that allows me to interact in a way that is free of my more ignorant self. And then I read something, and I have no idea what this means, and it was by Dogen who said something like it, everything depends upon realization of the fundamental point. Is that the point, that we are not separate? That we're not separate? I don't know what he meant by that. The fundamental point could also be translated. The fundamental point is a translation of the Japanese or Chinese word koan. The koan can be translated as the truth of the universe.

[87:27]

So the main point is how to realize the koan. or realize the truth of the universe. So that's, yeah, that's kind of realize the truth of emptiness. So then this activity, the bodhisattva activity, is the process whereby we realize this fundamental point. And that realization allows us to practice more and more . Right. It's very beautiful. Yes. So realization of the fundamental point allows us to practice compassion unimpeded, which is the point of the whole process. Thank you. You're welcome. Susan? Now, you can face towards me like he did, or you can face the group, whichever you like. Okay.

[88:31]

And then if people in the back can't hear, raise your hands and I'll ask the person who's speaking to speak up. Okay. I was telling myself a story that it's not a good time to come up because I'm very, very tired. It's not a good time to come up here? Yeah, because I was wondering if I was one of those people you were talking about who was having a hard time staying awake. That was me. There were several. And I was trying to be gentle with it. And, you know, not lean into taking it personally. Yeah. I was trying not to beat myself up about it and be very disappointed because I really want... You were trying to not beat yourself up? Yeah. You were trying to be gentle with yourself? Yeah. Great. Yeah. Great.

[89:34]

You brought up already this morning something I wanted to talk with you about for a while. I've been feeling very sad and very tired for a while. I don't know if I'm tired because I'm tired and all of those. But I've been realizing lately that it's because I'm not taking really good care of myself. I'm trying to do what I think other people want so that they'll be comfortable. you know, lots of good healthy co-dependence. And I have the experience of, you know, what you were talking about of being more grounded in a place that's more solid, that's... Being grounded in more solid?

[90:44]

Yeah, more... No. More not solid? Be grounded in what isn't solid. That's part of the problem. I keep trying to be grounded in what, you know, I keep trying to get grabbed. Well, wanting to be solid is something to confess. It's not something to encourage. For example, your stories are not solid, but it's good to be grounded in your stories. In other words, to be aware of your stories is good. Because the more you're aware of your stories in your mind which are not solid, which are just mental constructions, the more you're tender with those stories and gentle with those stories and upright with those stories, the more you'll get used to getting over the story that there's something solid to get a hold of. So this is partly the insubstantiality of things, that you can't grasp them So getting ready for the teaching which will liberate you, which will make you unimpeded in your compassion, is to get ready to work, is to get ready in things like your stories.

[92:02]

your story of our relationship is not a substantial thing. It's just a mental construction. If you care for the insubstantial things, including the story that things are substantial, if you care for them, you'll get more ready to live without the delusion that things are substantial and graspable. And then you'll be more ready to open to the truth. But a big story we have is that things are substantial, and that we want them to be and we want to get a hold of them. Be gentle with that story and you'll get over that and all other stories. Get over means you'll see them for what they are. And I want to say one more thing, if I may, about what you said. You said that you're making some in a way that makes other people comfortable. that's kind of a good thing to help people be comfortable.

[93:09]

However, be upright with that and be gentle with that and be peaceful with that. Don't be rough with yourself accommodating others. Be gentle with yourself and be honest too. Like, I'd like to make you more comfortable I really would like to do this for you. I love being devoted to you. And I'd like to make you feel comfortable because I just love to make you comfortable, especially make you comfortable in a wholesome way for you. I really would like that, but I feel like it's not right for me to do this. So I'm honestly wanting to be I honestly want to make you comfortable because you're uncomfortable. I'd like to be comfortable. I really would like that. But this particular way of doing it, I honestly do not want to do.

[94:11]

And also I tell you that, being tender with myself and you when I say that. But sometimes I want to make you comfortable. I want to do something to make you comfortable. I want to do something to make you, to please you. Sometimes I do and I feel completely honest about that and I feel tender about that and okay about it. Sometimes that's not a problem. But when I maybe I'm doing something too comfortable but I'm not being honest then it's not so good. Or, and the other possibility is, if I'm doing something for you or for me, let's say for you, that you would like me to do and I would like to do for you, but I'm trying to get something from you by doing it for you. But to do it for you, which I'd like to do, but also I'd like to get something for it, that's not being upright with it. And that's very tiring.

[95:13]

So I would like to be kind to you, so I would like to be tender, I'd like to be honest, and I would like to be upright, but I'm not upright because I'm doing those other things to get something. So I'm leaning into this whole thing, I'm off balance with it. So it's possible to be tender and not upright. It's possible to be flexible and not upright. So when you can turn, but if you're not upright you get whipped around. So, but if you're upright and tender, you can spin, you know, and change and move with the situation. So you learn by getting dizzy and sick, whatever, that you're, well, I was flexible, but I was off balance, or I was off balance, so I couldn't move. Also, you can be balanced, but I'm not, don't turn me, you know. I'm looking at Donna, who practices tango, right? So you're supposed to be able to turn in tango, turnable, but also on your axis. If you turn and you're off balance, you fall down.

[96:19]

So all these together, with these stories, is there something else you want to express? There is something else I want to ask you. Okay. Asking is an expression? About my sitting practice. I've been for quite a while just sitting. Can you hear her? Louder, please, Susan. Okay. She's been just sitting, she says. I've been just trying to be with what is while I'm sitting. Yes. And sometimes... That brings me to some clarity or just some stillness. And a lot of times I think lately because of balance maybe, my mind is just busy, [...] and I've been trying to be with that.

[97:29]

That sounds right. Okay. If you've got a busy mind, be with that. And be how with that. Be tender. What else? Generous. Generous, yeah. Upright. Upright, yeah. Don't lean into the busyness. But also honest. This seems to be busy. And harmonious, peaceful. Don't beat the busyness up. A lot of people do this, beat busyness up. Or beat the busy one up. So yeah, be tender. honest and balanced with the busy mind. And if the mind's not so busy, be tender, honest, balanced and peaceful with that. That's how to be with... Okay, and I'm wondering, a lot of people at my Samba lately have been talking about concentration practices. And I'm wondering if you would recommend, I don't even know for sure what that would look like, maybe following the breath and recommend something like that?

[98:42]

That's what I said earlier. Concentration practice is kind of a synonym for, not always a synonym for, but concentration, tranquility, calming, those kinds of practices. Basically, you're giving up your thinking. But for some people, following the breathing or concentrating on their posture helps them give up their thinking. For other people, it's skiing, you know, like skiing at a very high altitude where if you start, where if you get into your thinking, you know, you'll, you have to really concentrate. You're not planning tonight's dinner. You're not worrying about your income tax. You're not thinking about the things that people said to you yesterday. You're just going right, left, right, left. And then you're doing that because it's very dangerous to do anything else because you're not that good a skier.

[99:44]

Or surfing. Things are moving all the time. You're kind of thinking about your feet on the board and the waves. You're not thinking about how your hair looks or whether there's a hole in your swimming suit. And when you do this for a while, people really enjoy skiing and surfing because they enter into a state of tranquility, which is open and relaxed and happy. So that's concentration practice. That's why that is when I'm playing tennis or anything where I'm doing yoga. Yeah, focused, not thinking about other things or giving up your thinking. So actually you're thinking about the yoga or you're thinking about the swimming or the running or you're thinking about it, but there's lots of other thinking that you're giving up. So it's actually a reduction, attenuation, of your thinking.

[100:51]

And it's not an attenuation of your thinking, it's an attenuation of being involved with your thinking, or an increase of your letting go of your thinking. It's the letting go of the thinking that calms you. The thinking itself is the opportunity to let go, something to let go of. The letting go calms you. So that's tranquility practice and it's part of the practice, is to do that. But then there's also this more, what do you call it, a more caring and interactive way of also being with your thinking, and that will work better when you're already calm. what I'm hearing is I don't have to choose one or the other I might be in the moment and choose the one in that moment you don't have to choose one or the other but sometimes it helps to commit to one or the other for a certain period of time because if you flip back and forth too much it's hard for some people so sometimes I recommend do a whole period of tranquility so in this retreat

[102:06]

when we're sitting and walking you can you might want to concentrate on tranquility and when in these dialogue situation where we're talking you might be more like caring for more intimately and interactively so you can try both during this retreat switch back and forth but some of you also might just be in a state of tranquility which lasts the whole weekend and you can just you know, use that as a basis for your work studying and caring for your conventional activity of your mind. the fruit lasts for a little while. It kind of reproduces itself for sometimes a few minutes, sometimes for a few hours, sometimes for quite a long time.

[103:12]

And then once you're calm, you can put aside that kind of practice and do this other kind where you're actually more actively meeting, where you're more actively practicing virtue with whatever comes. So, anything else at this time anybody wants to offer? Are the people sitting in the couches able to hear okay? Okay? Any other offerings at this time? Well, if not, maybe we could do some walking meditation. Okay?

[103:51]

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